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- Path: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!gatech!news-feed-1.peachnet.edu!news.duke.edu!godot.cc.duq.edu!ddsw1!news.mcs.net!not-for-mail
- From: barnhart@mcs.net (Aaron Barnhart)
- Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman,alt.answers,news.answers
- Subject: alt.fan.letterman The Official David Letterman Song Book
- Followup-To: alt.fan.letterman
- Date: 11 Jul 1995 12:37:37 -0500
- Organization: The Simulcast
- Lines: 640
- Approved: news-answers-request@MIT.Edu
- Message-ID: <3tuct1$r8b@Mercury.mcs.com>
- Reply-To: letterman@mcs.net
- NNTP-Posting-Host: mercury.mcs.com
- Summary: This posting contains the lyrics of original songs that have
- been performed on Late Show with David Letterman or Late Night
- with David Letterman.
- Xref: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu alt.fan.letterman:55733 alt.answers:10544 news.answers:48189
- Archive-name: letterman/songs/list
- Last-modified: Tue Jul 11 12:37:28 CDT 1995
- Version: 1.06
- ==========================================================================
- The alt.fan.letterman Official David Letterman Song Book
- ==========================================================================
- Send your submissions to Aaron Barnhart (letterman@mcs.net)
- ==========================================================================
- This Song Book is available via anonymous FTP at
- ftp.mcs.net:/mcsnet.users/barnhart/letterman/
- alt.fan.letterman.songbook.txt
- ==========================================================================
- The David Letterman Theme Song (as sung by Bill Murray)
- -------------------------------------------------------
- It's a late night show starring Dave,
- Dave Letterman, Indianapolis' own,
- Silly skits, music and guests,
- Is Bud Melman for real, hey man I don't know
- It's news and it's sports, It's weather reports,
- Tryin so hard to please you,
- It's good for the farmers, milkmen and snake charmers,
- There's even a chuckle or two,
- It's The Dave Letterman show,
- TV's crazy funny man,
- Where is that Marvin Albert with his bloopers,
- Your gonna love, love that Dave, love is Dave, Here comes Dave!
- The David Letterman Theme Song (as sung by Paul Shaffer)
- --------------------------------------------------------
- Gerson Koenig explains:
- There was a viewer mail letter once from a guy who had a public access
- show and had his own lyrics for the song, which he used on said show.
- I can't remember any of his lyrics, but Paul came back with his own
- set of lyrics that went something like this:
- Down in Melbourne, F-L-A,
- Some guy named Bill(?) is ripping me off.
- And don't you know now, my lawyers say legally
- That Bill's house and car belong to me.
- Late Night World of Love
- ------------------------
- There's a cool breeze blowin'.
- You can feel it 'cross the land.
- It's surfin' fun,
- A dad and son,
- A place where you can stand.
- And Late Night is the reason
- Our forefathers fought with pride.
- It's clear blue skies,
- Grandma's eyes,
- A feeling that's deep inside.
- [chorus]
- It's a Late Night world.
- It's a world that we can share.
- So turn on your TV
- And watch it with me.
- It's a Late Night world of love.
- There's a whole new generation
- Who are willing to say "yes."
- It's soups and stews,
- A wall of shoes,
- A thing called "happiness."
- So change the channel, change your life.
- It doesn't cost a thing.
- We're talking loud,
- We're standing proud,
- Now join us as we sing.
- [repeat chorus]
- The Viewer Mail Theme
- ---------------------
- Viewer Mail, Viewer Mail,
- Friday is the day we read viewer mail.
- First we read them, Then we answer them,
- That's the little thing we call Viewer Mail
- Lettermania (by Carl Reiner)
- ----------------------------
- Lettermania,
- Lettermania,
- (repeat 100 times)
- Let your Lettermania go!
- Car and Truck Rental Song
- -------------------------
- Travel with ease, rent a car.
- Carry a load, rent a truck.
- We supply the latest models.
- Rent a car or a truck from us.
- (Thanks Mark Volmer)
- Yeah!
- -----
- Yeah! (repeat as desired)
- Bermuda
- -------
- Bermuda!
- It's a cuckoo kind of place,
- A nutty, nutty kind of space.
- Bermuda!
- Up With Hal Gurnee
- ------------------
- What's up with Hal Gurnee?
- He is our kind of guy.
- So what's up with Hal Gurnee?
- The best friend that money can buy!
- GE Theme Song
- -------------
- You can put your confidence
- In the brand of excellence,
- The household appliances
- That bear the name GE!
- The CBS Mailbag Song (stolen from the old Perry Como show)
- --------------------
- Letters
- We get letters
- We get stacks and stacks of letters
- The Strong Guy, The Fat Guy, The Genius
- ---------------------------------------
- The Strong Guy, the Fat Guy, the Genius
- God gave them each a special gift at birth
- They break it, they eat it, they solve it
- That's the reason they were put upon this Earth
- A Lobster...he'll punch it!
- Some Corn...he'll munch it!
- The Genius...man that guy is really smart
- Mr. Strong Guy, Mr. Fat Guy, Mr. Genius
- We thank you from the bottom of our heart
- The Strong Guy, the Fat Guy, the Genius
- God gave them each a special gift at birth
- They break it, they eat it, they solve it
- That's the reason they were put upon this Earth
- One's strong, one's fat, one's a genius
- There's nothing they don't break or eat or know
- Nobody's sure where they came from
- Nobody's sure where they might go
- A Drum...he'll break it!
- A Plum...he'll eat it!
- A Sum...he'll add it in his head
- Mr. Strong Guy, Mr. Fat Guy, Mr. Genius
- You walk where weak thin dumb guys fear to tread
- The Strong Guy, the Fat Guy, the Genius
- God gave them each a special gift at birth
- They break it, they eat it, they solve it
- That's the reason they were put upon this Earth
- The Strong Guy, the Fat Guy, the Genius
- God gave them each a special gift at birth
- They break it, they eat it, they solve it
- That's the reason they were put upon this Earth
- He'll break...any item!
- Raw eggs...he'll bite 'em!
- No question...can stump his mighty brain
- Mr. Strong Guy, Mr. Fat Guy, Mr. Genius
- Three rays of hope in a world thats gone insane
- He'll bust it...first try!
- Hey bunny...good bye!
- Reindeer? His face shows no concern
- Mr. Strong Guy, Mr. Fat Guy, Mr. Genius
- You help expectin' nothing in return
- The Strong Guy, the Fat Guy, the Genius
- God gave them each a special gift at birth
- They break it, they eat it, they solve it
- That's the reason they were put upon this Earth
- That's the reason they were put upon this Earth
- That's the reason they were put upon this Earth!
- Hhhaaaaa!
- (Thanks Dan Best)
- The Turban Is Not For Sale
- --------------------------
- "The Turban is not for sale" refers to a sketch on Late Show with David
- Letterman about a month ago. Our TV Pal was doing a quiz in which one of
- the answers was "the turban is not for sale." It wasn't particularly funny
- in and of itself, but Dave remarked (as I recall) that that phrase sounds
- like it might have come from a song somewhere. Paul chipped in, and over
- the next few seconds they put together the following, sung to the tune of
- "Farmer in the Dell":
- The turban is not for sale
- The turban is not for sale
- How many times have I told you guys
- The turban is not for sale!
- ...and they were so excited by this that they did it numerous times
- throughout the show.
- (Thanks Will Irace and Brian Peek)
- -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
- Pea-Boy Theme Song - Copyright (c) 1994 by Marvin Hamlisch
- -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
- (Spoken)
- A year ago, you asked me to write a song for a special friend, who
- ran onto your show, and stole the hearts of people everywhere. His
- name...Pea-Boy, and this is his song.
- Gimme an A!
- Gimme a B!
- Gimme a... <whistle>
- (Sung)
- Pea-Boy, can't you see, boy,
- All the great news that you spread,
- Everyone waits, so don't hesitate,
- We love it when you aim right at our head!
- Some think you look funny,
- But sonny, that's simply not true!
- So if someone's gotta grow up, and be a pea,
- I don't care as long as it's,
- I don't care as long as it's,
- I'm glad that it's <oh> that it's you!
- (Thanks John Neuharth)
- Dress Cool
- ----------
- words and music by Paul Shaffer, Will Lee, Sid McGinnis & Steve Jordan
- performed by The World's Most Dangerous Band
- Up at 8 to go downtown
- Special date was goin' down
- Had to be on time to meet Sade
- She was late but dressed so fine
- Said "I look great; you look like slime
- Problem's not your personality"
- What was I supposed to do
- Thought I had it made with you
- Can't forget those words she said to me, yeah
- She said
- Dress cool
- Dress cool
- Like your life depended on it
- Dress cool
- Dress for success
- Look like you really want it
- Dress up
- Dress up, go anywhere
- Dress down
- Dress down like you just don't care
- Let your body be your tool
- Dress cool
- Saw a picture of my grandpa
- You should've seen just what I saw
- He was rich but dressed so raggedy
- The cat is dead, the point is moot
- But if he had been wearin' that zoot suit
- He would surely be alive today
- Now I don't want to sound too rude
- But I do not want to be snail food
- I got to clean my act up right away -- hey
- Dress cool
- Dress cool like your life depended on it
- Dress cool
- Dress for success
- Look like you really want it
- Dress up
- Dress up, go anywhere
- Dress down
- Dress down like you just don't care
- Say you're from Liverpool
- Dress cool
- Wakin' up a little extra early
- Laying out my wardrobe in the sun
- Ironing out life's little lines and creases
- Who said making video is fun?
- (guitar solo)
- Dress cool
- Dress cool like your life depended on it
- Dress cool
- Dress for success
- Look like you really want it
- Dress up
- Dress up, go anywhere
- Dress down
- Dress down like you just don't care
- Let your body be your tool
- Dress cool
- (repeat)
- (Thanks Synth F. Oberheim aka synth@yuri.abq.nm.us)
- Small Town News
- ---------------
- What's my favorite segment
- of the David Letterman Show?
- It's got me all in a whirl...
- It's a thing called news,
- but not just any kind,
- It's Small Town News.
- Dumb Ads
- ________
- Dumb Ads,
- These are Dumb Ads,
- Those koo-koo ads,
- Those nutty ads...
- (Thanks Mike Southworth)
- Kitties (To the tune of "Memories")
- -----------------------------------
- Midnight, and the kitties are sleeping
- dowstairs by the furnace
- while birdies are cheeping.
- (thanks Bob Kupiec)
- Pasty White Thighs
- ------------------
- (Dave told a joke in the monologue one night about what Americans who
- were surveyed would like to see the President do. The punchline was
- that 37% of them would like to see him "do something about those pasty
- white thighs of his." That led to this lounge lizard special spun by
- Dave and Paul.)
- Pasty white thighs
- You've got those pasty white thighs
- We love them so
- You've got those pasty white thighs
- Do something about those pasty white thighs
- And leave that deficit alone!
- (Next came a "New Books" segment for which Paul made up this theme:)
- New Books
- ---------
- [to the theme from "Bewitched"]
- New books
- New books
- Dave reads one every day
- New books
- New books
- That's all we've got to say
- They may be intel-lec-tu-al
- Or maybe good for a laugh
- But one thing's for sure --
- Pasty white thighs !!
- (Later that night the Top 10 list was about the Clintons, lord knows
- the subject, I've forgotten, but Number 1 was changed to, "His pasty
- white thighs." Kind of nutty.)
- Dave's Neighborhood (by Marvin Hamlisch)
- ----------------------------------------
- There is a special place in this universe
- Not far from all the tinsel and the glitter.
- That's spitting distance from Times Square
- If you're a real good spitter!
- Where can you buy a pizza pie delivered by Rockettes?
- Or meet a bouncer from a topless bar you won't forget?
- And where does Alex sell her bagels, lox and cream cheese spread?
- Where can you get a Xerox copy of Fern Chapnick's head?
- (Chorus)
- Where?
- Dave's neighborhood! <wow!>
- Dave's neighborhood! <gosh!>
- Everyone's a Broadway star in Dave's neighborhood!
- If you need a great tuxedo, Bart Dadon's the guy to see.
- For a great cup of coffee you can turn to Rupert Jee.
- Mr. Elo sells TVs and VCRs and he's no fool.
- And no one wears a suit like Mujibur and Sirajul!
- (repeat the chorus)
- By now you get the picture
- But in case you don't catch on
- We saved it for posterity upon the Jumbotron
- Where?
- Dave's neighborhood! <wow!>
- Dave's neighborhood! <gosh!>
- Doesn't matter who you are...
- You can be a superstar...
- Everyone's a Broadway star in Dave's Neighborhood!
- (Thanks Karen Owen and Brad Nathan)
- Last Song on NBC (by Paul Shaffer)
- ----------------------------------
- Sooooooo, make it one for you, Davie
- And one more for that road,
- That long long long, cuckoo nutty long
- Ro-o-o-oad.
- (Thanks Steph at menudo.uh.edu)
- Supermarket Finds (by Paul Shaffer)
- -----------------------------------
- (To the tune of "Strangers in the Night:")
- Supermarket finds,
- exchanging glances,
- SUPER-market fi-inds!...
- (thanks Tom Celentano)
- Hypmotized and Naked
- --------------------
- (Yet another riff on an unexpected new phrase coined by Dave.)
- I'm hypnotized and naked,
- Down at the grocery store.
- I used to have some clothes on,
- But they ain't on no more.
- I'm hypnotized and naked,
- And you know, it's a lot of fun.
- I'm hypnotized and naked,
- And now my song is done.
- (Thanks Mike Southworth)
- You Kill Me
- -----------
- (From the 2nd Annual Holiday Film Festival, title track to a short
- directed by Merrill Markoe, performed by Paul and the boys.)
- There I was in my everyday routine
- Agonizing
- Rationalizing
- There you were, looking fine as you can be
- Mesmerizing
- Nautilizing
- Fate interceded out of the blue
- You looked at me
- I looked back at you, back at you
- -chorus-
- Yeah! You kill me
- Got to do the things that thrill me
- I don't know why you do it
- How you put me through it
- Stop - you kill me.
- There we were, livin' happily
- I was into you
- You were into me
- Every day was sweeter than before
- I wanna be loved
- You give me more
- Love can be funny, sometimes you just can't see
- What's right for you
- Is just too much for me, too much for me
- (repeat chorus)
- They say that everything must change
- But this is such a shame
- Why did we let it get so-
- "Babe you best be chillin'
- Else why'd you be killin'"
- (instrumental break)
- Life goes on, no matter what you say
- Or what you do
- You know it's true
- After all, it's still just you and me
- Been around the world
- Nothin' left to see
- The verdict's in, defendant tried
- I find you guilty
- Convict you of love homicide
- Cut and dried
- Can't be denied
- I can't let you slide
- (repeat chorus)
- Alright
- You (you kill me)
- Yeah you (you kill me)
- You (ah, you kill me)
- Yeah you (you kill me)
- You (you kill me)
- Yeah you (let's get right on out of here, man)
- You (actually)
- Yeah you
- (Thanks Wayne Snell)
- The "Miss Humidity" Tribute
- ---------------------------
- Kara Catherwood writes: "It's been many years since they've played
- this, I found the song so hauntingly beautiful that I wrote the
- words down at the time. They had a camera outside during a God-awful
- hot day looking for someone to be Miss Humidity, and here is the
- theme:"
- I don't recall exactly how we knew you were the one,
- But somehow you stood out beneath that shining summer sun.
- Or could it be the way you say "No sweat",
- and yet, you do?
- Miss Humidity! That's you!
- (Kara adds: "It was performed by Paul alone. What a talent!")
- Dave's Rocks and Minerals
- ------------------------
- Dave's rocks and minerals
- Dave's minerals and rocks
- He's got an awful lot of them
- Keeps them in a box
- He's got granite
- Magnetite
- Copper, quartz, and zinc
- Time for Dave's Rock Collection
- In the pink
- Ratfink
- Whatta you think?
- (Thanks Mark Michalovic)
- Warning Labels
- --------------
- Well, I wake up in the morning
- just in time to hear the warning
- Warning labels!
- Warning labels!
- Well, I'm willing and I'm able
- to respect the warning label
- Warning labels!
- Warning labels!
- (Thanks Kevin Nagle)
- Loopy On Bus Fumes
- ------------------
- (To the tune of "Ain't Misbehavin'")
- Loopy on bus fumes
- It's really so nice, you see
- Loopy on bus fumes
- Saving my love for you.
- (Thanks Kevin Nagle)
- --------------------------------------------------------------------------
- This article may be freely distributed so long as the author's name,
- and this notice, remain intact. It may be distributed as long as no
- fee is charged for distribution. If it made available for downloading
- on a bulletin board system (BBS) that charges a fee for downloading
- privileges, it must be in a directory that is available for all BBS
- users, including those that have not paid. If the BBS does not have
- any file directories available for all paid and non-paid users, this
- FAQ must not be made available for download.
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