I don't want closure, but i need it
I don’t want closure, because that means it’s over, which will break my heart.
We were friends who talked about everything. You always said I was easy to talk to, even when you had just met me. You shared your world with me, and I did the same for you. I don’t let people in but I couldn’t help but let you waltz right in and see my biggest insecurities. I told you more about my life and my messed up upbringing than any one else, ever. We started as friends, and naturally it grew to more. You admitted that you talk to your family about me, and just like being around me. I told you that I don’t like commitment, but I’d commit to you. We both said we thought we would be a long term thing. We were both scared of ruining what we could be because neither of us were ready, but the thing is, I think we ruined what we are anyway. I can’t say what happened because I don’t want to read into it, but it’s shocking when one day you wake up and never talk to your best friend again. Even if we were never meant to be anything more, I lost you as a friend, and that hurt the most. The worst thing is, by chance, I had to talk to you the other day, and you seemed like everything was fine, which makes me think that you’re okay without me. I hope you are okay, and I’ll be okay too, eventually, knowing you’re doing better.