Come Again, Chapter 2 - Thundercloud

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwlAhd0BJPs
>It’s noon.
>As Ms. Cake taps her hoof on the sidewalk furiously, thinking about all the damage being done with just her husband alone with the foals AND the store, she spies something.
>A dark gray pegasus with a steel-colored mane crawls by on his belly, making pathetic gasps and gurgles.
>Straight in to the convenience store.
>You glance up from your inventory list as the pegasus clamors his way up to look over your counter.
>”OH MY CELESTIA IT WAS HORRIBLE! I JUST ESCAPED FROM A SICK SEX DUNGEON! ESTRUS IS HEOh hey Anon, what are you doing here?”
>He stands up straight like nothing is wrong.
“Thunderlane, you’re three hours late.”
>”Well, like I said. Estrus sex dungeon.”
>He comes around the back of the counter, leaning against the wall next to you as he peeks at what you’re doing.
“First, boss is in Las Pegasus getting treated for “Hoof in Mouth.”
>”Sounds like code for getting a blowy from a hooker.”
“Yup. Second, nobody would believe that story.”
>”Why not? It’s perfectly believable.”
“Please. Estrus is a myth, a fantasy created by sad little stallions who can’t get laid about a special time of year where every mare everywhere is DTF, regardless of how small or ugly the guy is.”
>”Mock our p0ny biology all you want, but I’m telling ya, the Estrus is real.”
“What chat room did you hear this from?”
>”The P0nies in Minos chat room.”
“Those clowns? What were you doing in there?”
>”Looking for chicks. Those mares are easy as fuck. In fact, one is meeting me here after work.”
“Five bits says she’s a griffon.”
>”You’re on.”
>The two of you seal the deal with a brohoof/fist.
>You set your clipboard down as Thunderlane begins to browse the dirty magazines kept behind the counter.
“So, Ms. Cake has been here all morning. You gonna go open the video store?”
>”You know what I wonder most about your kind, Anon?”
>You sigh and roll your eyes.
>”Genitals.”
“Why would you wonder about that?”
>”Well think about it. You and that marefriend of yours…Twalot Sporkle, or whatever her name is.”
“Twilight Sparkle.”
>”Yeah, I mean, you two fuck, right?”
“Yes, we have sex, not that it’s any of your business.”
>”So it means that your jibbly bits are at least capable of interfacing with sweet p0ny poon, right?”
“Yeah, what’s your point?”
>”So I was wondering…are human girls like p0ny girls in the nooni department?”
“The what?”
>”The MAREHOODS man. Are human pussies similar to p0nies?”
“You’re disgusting…”
>Thunderlane follows you as you round the counter, moving to straighten up the shelves.
>”It’s a legitimate question man! What’s the differences?”
“Look Thunder, there’s really not that much of a difference.”
>”You’re speaking from experience, right? Like before, you had sex with human mares.”
“Yes!”
>”You’re not lying to me?”
>You slam the shrink-wrapped muffin down in annoyance.
“No!”
>Thunderlane smirks and shakes his head. “You’re a bad liar, Anon.”
>Sometimes, you just want to choke the guy.
“Look, human women’s vaginas are much like a p0ny’s vagina. They look similar, feel similar, react in much the same ways.”
>”Do they taste similar?”
“Fucking gross…YES, THEY TASTE THE SAME! P0NY PUSSY AND HUMAN PUSSY TASTE THE SAME.”
>Cake: “Y-YOU TWO OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES!”
>The blue mare turns from where she was standing in the doorway, blushing furiously as she storms off.
>Thunderlane chuckles as you introduce your face to the palm of your hand.
>”You’re such a perv, Anon.”
“Fucking great. Why do you need to know all this, Thunder?”
>”Because if a human girl ever shows up like you did, I want a crack at her before you two go off.”
“You sad, repressed little colt. And what do you mean, before we go off?”
>”Well, you get to fuck mares even though you’re not a p0ny, right?”
“It’s not like I have an abundance of choice over here.”
>”I know, I’m not mad or anything. It’s just common courtesy.”
“Common courtesy…”
>”Yeah. Before the two of you go off to repopulate your species, I think it would only be fair for you to reciprocate and let me take a crack at her crack, in the name of stallions everywhere.”
“Ok, first, you’re depraved. Second, just because she’s human doesn’t mean we would go off and start fucking. Third, you’d need more than one breeding pair to sustain a viable species.”
>”That sounds like a big load of not my problem.”
“Why don’t you go open the video store?”
>”Why? You scared off my only customer with your dirty sex talk.”
>Urge to kill rising.
>The ding of the door snatches your attention away before you could wring Thunderlane’s neck.
>A small group of p0nies start to file in as you fold your arms.
>They’re trying a little too hard to not look obvious.
“Hey Thunder, check these guys out.”
>”Huh? What about them?”
“Look at them. They’re all just browsing in the same general area. Look, that purple mare with the white mane’s even got a drum machine on her back. They’re flash mobbers.”
>“Flash mobbers?”
“Yeah. They hope they’ll get discovered by some record exec stopping to get a smoke, so every now and then they nonchalantly gather and break into song, like it’s a totally spontaneous thing.”
>”Are they any good?”
“Oh my no.”
>The two of you move back behind the counter.
“And they never buy anything. If you’re lucky, the only thing they’ll steal is some food.”
>”So when do they start singing?”
“When the next p0ny comes in…”
>As if on cue, a mountain of a red stallion walks through the door and up to your counter.
“Hey Big Mac. Smokes for Granny?”
>”Eeyup.”
>As you fish down the menthol mints, you turn and whisper in Thunderlane’s ear.
“5…4…3…2…1…aaaaand go.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tsg01CVGTBw
>Sure enough, they break off into song and some bad choreography.
>The three of you look at the small group as they go through their routine.
>How p0nies and humans have the same music, you will never understand.
>But somewhere, in another dimension, you’re sure Finger Eleven is openly weeping.
>You look at Thunderlane’s face.
>Fucking.
>Priceless.
“You know, they sound a little better than usual today.”
>Thunderlane cannot muster a response.
>Big Mac just leaves his bits on the counter and makes a hasty exit with his purchase.
>The two of you just watch in silence as the group finishes their routine, panting heavily as the look around for the reaction they sought.
>The crestfallen look on their faces when they don’t get it makes you smile a little on the inside.
>You spy a handful of them carrying bags of chips as they file out, their heads slung low.
>Stopping them just seems like too much effort.
>You hear Pinkie shouting from outside. “Hey, you p0nies want to buy some cupcakes?!”
>Fucking Pinkie Pie….
>”Excuse me, can I buy this please?”
>The voice from the other side of the counter makes you jump.
>It’s the purple one with the drum machine.
>Is one of the Flash Mobbers actually buying something?
>She gives you a glance that screams “You ok, buddy” as she sets a bottle of water and a candy bar on the counter.
“What? Oh, yeah, uh…that’ll be two bits.”
>She giggles as she pays up. “That awestruck by our performance, were ya?”
>You put the money in the register.
“Well, it…was….better…”
>She sighs, adjusting her spiky white mane with a hoof, her wings shifting as she did to keep balance. “Yeah, it was my first time with these guys, but it was a lot of fun.”
“I’m sure it was.”
>”Well then, maybe you can have more fun when we do it again.”
“I’m sure.”
>You can’t help but smirk at the confidence this mare is exuding.
>Thunder can take no more.
>THUNDER: “OH CELESTIA YOU GUYS SUCK! WHAT THE HOOF WAS THAT? A CAPELLA? NOP0NY GETS FAMOUS DOING A CAPELLA!”
>The mare glares at Thunderlane as he rolls on the floor, laughing.
>?: “Wow, thanks, jackass.”
>This only draws more laughter as you sigh and shake your head apologetically.
“I’m sorry, my friend is a jerk…”
>?: “It’s ok. I expect some p0nies to laugh at us…but still. What matters is how it makes us feel, right?”
>You nod with a smile as she gathers up her purchase.
“Right.”
>?: “Maybe I’ll see you next time then. The name’s Cloudchaser, by the way.”
“Anonymous, but most call me Anon.”
>CLOUD: “Well then, see ya next time Anon!”
>She gives you a wink as she leaves in pursuit of her colleagues.
>You watch her go, leaning on the counter as Thunderlane pulls himself to his hooves, the last of his chuckles dimming away.
>”What was that?”
“What was what?”
>”That. She was flirting with you!”
“She was not, she was just being friendly.”
>”Uh huh. You know brah, I don’t get you.”
“What do you mean?”
>”I mean, you’re, no offense, a freaky pink primate, but you always have mares hitting on you. Why do so many p0nies like hooking up with the human anyway?”
“She wasn’t trying to hook up with me, she was just being social. Besides, it’s probably because I’m not a jagoff like you are.”
>”Yeah, whatever. How many mares you had sex with?”
“Including Twilight?”
>”No, before Twilight.”
“Seven.”
>Thunderlane can’t believe you.
>“Seven? How the hell you get more mares than me?”
“I guess I’m just a nice guy. Some of them were marefriends, some of them were just one night stands.”
>”So, do I know any of them?”
“Ms. Cake.”
>”NO FUCKING WAY.”
“Number two. We ran into each other at the bar, got really drunk and just wound up at my place.”
>”So…does that mean…her foals…”
“Don’t be retarded.”
>The gray pegasus obviously cannot handle this new information.
>”You know what? I’m going to go open the video store, Anon. We can’t all be slackers around here.”
“Heaven forbid.”
>As Thunderlane beats a hasty retreat, you go around and clean up after Flash Mobbers.
>Cloudchaser, huh? At least one of them pays for their stuff…
>You adjust a sign advertising salt licks as the door rings, a green Earth p0ny sticking his head in.
>”Hey, do you sell salt licks?”
>Goddamnit…