Legend of the Wandering Autist - Act III

ACT III: The Mastermind of Marenberg
Part 1: A Really Shitty Fucking Morning

>you're awoken by the exquisite sensation of the open wound on your forehead baking in the desert sun
>holy mother fuck
>shit like this doesn't happen in magic talking pony land
>and it sure as shit doesn't happen to you
>a thug just gave you a concussion so that a crooked sherrif would help him force someone into a marriage with him to get a hold of her land
>and now you're drying out in the desert
>isn't Apple Fritter in Ponyville now?
>what kind of ambush could she walk into when she comes back?
>they're probably going to threaten Jonagold somehow
>maybe they'll just take Jonagold out of the picture altogether
"Maybe Fritter is telling Twilight about this whole fucked up situation right now…"
>"Probably not."
>Sombra's crystal is sitting in the sand a few feet away from you
"You think so?"
>"Apple Fritter promise not give you away. Very proud, not break promise, not bring Twilight here."
"Fuck man."
>a puff of warm wind blows sand into your lacerations
>you ignore it
"So this is all my fault."
>"Pretty much."
>you stand up
>and you take Sombra into your hand
"Well I'm gonna un-fuck it. I'm gonna hop onto the next train to Ponyville, warn Apple Fritter before she comes back, and beg Twilight to use her princess powers or something to make all this right."
>"Over the mountains."
"Over the…? Oh, right, Piebald's thugs are gonna fucking kill me if I go back to Picacholt."
>"Yes."
"And the nearest town is past those mountains."
>"Yes."
"Anything else I should keep in mind?"
>"Thug tell sherrif you're going to mountains."
"Right."
>"So they look for you there. Move fast."
"Oh, that makes sense. Perfect. On the bright side, I don't think it's physically possible for my mouth to get any dryer. Let's go."

"Sh… should I stay or should I go now…"
"If I… stay there will be trouble…"
"But… but if I go it will be… double…"
>"Quiet."
"I don't… sing that bad… do I?"
>"Sound dry. And tired. Save breath. Save water."
"Shit man. I am… pretty thirsty."
>you sigh
"Apple Fritter… said the river ran through the mountains… but I don't fuckin see it…"
>"Mountains close."
"Yeah yeah… I don't see any path… where the hell do I climb up?"
>Sombra rumbles
>"Crystal… mineral… rocks…"
>the impassable wall of gravel and boulders before you shifts and uncovers a rough, yet usable trail
"Whoah… I didn't know you cared…"
>Sombra grunts
>"Have been buried for thousand years before. Didn't like."
"Makes sense… Any way you can just make… the whole mountain disappear?"
>"No."
"Figures… But why didn't you… just knock out Piebald with a rock?"
>"Can't cause harm."
"Oh… right… forgot…"
>"Go. Now."
"Yeah yeah… so do you… just not… speak in complete sentences… as a matter of… principle?"
>you've only been on the makeshift magic mountain trail for all of ten seconds when your morning gets a whole lot shittier
>for the second time in twelve hours, your head explodes with pain
>and you fall unconscious
>again

Part 2: Wait I Thought This was a Western

>you wake up in a bright white room
>oh fuck it's happening again
>you've died
>and you've been reborn into the moment you woke up in Twilight's tree castle hospital wing
>you'll have to do things better this time
>be more honest about your feelings with Twilight
>show more positivity in general
>take Twilight down to Picacholt and have her princess away all the corruption
>you wonder how many chances you'll get to make things right before your death becomes permanent
>no
>wait
>you're being fucking retarded
>you weren't strapped to a cold, metal table last year
>also, Twilight wasn't red
>oh, good
>it seems you've only been kidnapped and imprisoned in some sort of evil laboratory
>what a relief
>your captor is a mare wearing a white labcoat over her red coat
>with an iron-grey mane done up in a bun
>and with horned glasses sitting over eyes lined with deep bags
>she appears very, very old
>she cocks her eyebrow appraisingly
>"Anonymous Faggot. I see that you are awake now."
"I hope I'm not."
>your captor's wrinkled face curls into a frown
>"Ridiculous sentimentality. There is not a single situation in which is better to be unconscious than conscious."
"Even in a situation like this?"
>"Conscious, you may listen to my demands and carry them out, thus getting out of this situation more quickly."
"Oh, demands. Great. Uh, who are you, exactly? And how do you know my name again?"
>"I am Phylum Strata, the greatest mind to have ever lived. And as for how I know your name, there is very little that I do not know, especially regarding those subjects which have become public knowledge through the national news industry."
"Not the most humble heart to have ever lived, are you?"
>"False humility is itself a form of arrogance. My intellectual prowess is nothing to be humble about. Here in these mountains, I have attained a level of scientific knowledge superior even to your own world, to say nothing of Equestria."
>did this bitch just say...?
"How the hell do you know about Earthly science?"
>Phylum Strata pushes her glasses up her snout with a shriveled hoof
>"Upon your arrival in this world two years ago, a magical link between Earth and Equestria was formed. Immediately, I set about learning as much about the place as I cared to. Unfortunately, there was not much to care for, as I had already surpassed Earth's level of scientific and technological achievment."
"So... you know how I got here? You know where Earth is... relative to here?"
>Phylum Strata scowls
>"No. But only because I never had any need for such information. I could certainly find out if I had any logical reason to do so."
>the bespectacled old mare scratches her chin
>"Yes... and more importantly, I could figure out how to send you back. Assuming, of course, that you are fully cooperative with me."
>she looks at you from over her glasses
>"You would like to go home, would you not?"
>whoah
>there's a thought that hasn't crossed your mind in a long while
>would you like to go home?
>well, it doesn't make such a difference to you either way
>you never really enjoyed life on Earth
>but you've only sporadically enjoyed life in Equestria
>and with the things you've learned these past two years or so, you should be able to achieve at least that much enjoyment out of life on Earth if you ever go back
>besides, although you don't have much to go home to, you do have parents
>although you haven't spoken to them since at least a good few months before arriving in Equestria, they've probably found out by now that you've gone missing
>theoretically, that's probably caused them a good deal of distress
>at the very least, they deserve some kind of closure
>furthermore, Earth doesn't have Twilight Sparkle looming over it in a position of immense power
>so...
>there's some business you'd have to wrap up in Equestria before you could go back...
>specifically the debacle in Picacholt
>but...
>if the question is would you like to go back?
"Sure."
>Phylum Strata harrumphs
>"Depressingly sentimental. But beneficial for my purposes, so you will be rewarded."
"Great. But I can't really agree until I know what your demands are."
>"I think you'll find you don't have much choice in the matter. I know about your concerns in Picacholt, and I am holding the imprisoned Sombra hostage. Until my demands are met in full, you will see neither the world outside of my laboratory nor your companion."
>freezing cold ice blasts you from Phylum Strata's eyes
>"And should you foolishly outright refuse to assist me altogether, you will not leave my laboratory alive."

>the mad scientist Phylum Strata flicks a switch you can't see
>you didn't realize that your arms were straining upward against their restraints
>but when they come loose, your limbs fly up a few inches by reflex
>"Get up. I mean to show you your duties."
>trying to move, you realize that your clothes are stiff and crackly with the salt of dried sweat
>you'd think that if she was able to somehow rehydrate you while you were out, she might have been able to get you a change of clothes
>in your mind's eye, you see geriatric genius cocking an analytical eyebrow at your cock
>ew, no, never mind, you're glad she left she left you as you are
>you rise to your feet and follow Strata
>as she approaches the exit to the room, it opens automatically
>and you have to admit that it's pretty impressive technology for magic talking pony land
>but she doesn't look at you to see whether or not you're impressed
>instead, she briskly strides into a round room lined with six doors
>she picks one out and approaches it without a change in her pace
>this door's not so automatic
>she holds her face up to a…
>a retina scanner?
>whoah
>that's borderline advanced tech even on Earth
>the door clicks unlocked and slides open
>and inside this next room you see two tables
>on the tables is…
>something
>you don't get the chance to enter the room and see it clearly
>"Mother? Who's your new friend?"
>Phylum Strata wheels around
>she glares at something for a second
>and then
>a mask comes on
>and the cold mad scientist wears a gentle smile
>"My goodness, Raspberry Heaven. How could I have forgotten to introduce him to you?"
>a little red filly stands in the doorway of what looks like a child's bedroom
>she's almost the spitting image of Phylum Strata
>only smaller
>less wrinkled
>a fully black mane
>a more vivid red in her coat
>emotion in her eyes
>"This is your new uncle, Anonymous. He will be helping me with my work for a short while."
>Raspberry Heaven smiles and waves a little hoof at you
>"Hello, Uncle Anonymous!"
"Y-you too."
>Phylum Strata groans
>"Now, Raspberry, us grown-ups are going to work now. Go and play in your room now."
>Raspberry Heaven nods
>"Yes, mother."
>and she disappears behind the automatic sliding door
>Phylum Strata lets the mask fall and assumes her immovable blank stare once more
"So, you have a daughter?"
>"Not in the strictest sense. She is what inhabitants of your world would call a clone."
>whoah
>okay
>the successful cloning of sapient creatures is officially very impressive by any standard
"Huh. I'd expect a clone of you to be a little more… cold."
>"You have known me for all of five minutes and twenty-seven seconds, Anonymous Faggot. Do not presume to know my life's history."
>Phylum Strata adjusts her glasses with a pruny hoof
>"And if by 'cold' you mean 'objective,' I assure you I have a perfectly objective motivation for raising her the way I have. I've found that a bit of sentimentality has a positive effect on the child's health. If she grows older, I shall obliterate all sentimentality from her mind and make her my apprentice."
>wait
"If?"
>"My plans for the future are constantly in flux, Mr. Faggot. Now follow me. I shall demonstrate your duty to you in detail."

>"This room shall be your quarters, Anonymous. You are no doubt unaware of this, but quite some time has passed since I had you brought here. Outside of my laboratory, it is now dark. Sleep, and tomorrow we shall get more work done."
>you stumble into a sparse bedroom
>the automatic door slides shut behind you
>holy fuck
>your knees are shaking
>this morning you thought that outlaws acting like a Zane Grey novel was too dark for pony land
>but this
>this is too dark for anywhere
>those tables
>they held two motionless bodies
>not dead, Phylum Strata assured you
>not technically, anyway
>the good doctor had inflicted a sort of chemically-induced stasis upon them
>the older mare, on the left table, she was the one paying for this
>the duchess of somesuch or other
>almost as old as Strata herself
>the younger mare, on the right table
>she was the duchess's daughter
>you'd be surprised how many of Canterlot's nobles aren't what they seem, the good doctor informed you
>this procedure is apparently how this lab is funded
>the good doctor would do it herself, but…
>she's growing too old
>her hooves are too shaky
>even with the mechanical, fingered apparatus she invented in her younger years, she just can't hold steady enough anymore
>the reason you aren't on a vivisection table is because you're ideal to assist the good doctor in her endeavors
>because you have fingers
>because of your familiarity with higher technologies, through both everyday life on Earth and through Earthly science fiction
>though no doubt you're too poorly educated to truly understand the technologies which you took for granted
>you soon noticed the looming, metallic figures in the room
>Phylum Strata's mechanical mares
>essentially what a human would think of as a robot
>the beings she sent to capture you
>after Sombra's path-creating spell alerted her to your presence
>the mechanical mares can't be Phylum Strata's assistants, admitted the good doctor
>apparently she didn't get the idea for digital electronics until she was able to gather information from Earth
>which was only a little over two years ago
>she hasn't yet developed the processing power to host any sort of intelligence in a machine
>the mechanical mares were there to ensure that you didn't attempt to flee from your duties
>they were there to override your silly sentimentality by inflicting an objective fear of physical harm
>okay
>but what the fuck were the "duties"?
>well
>pick up that scalpel
>cut there
>pinch that shut
>slice there
>in short
>the good duchess had paid the good doctor good money for the service of having her brain removed
>and placed into the body of her daughter
>and under the watchful eyes of the mechanical mares
>you gave the good duchess what she paid for
>Phylum Strata flicked a few switches which she said would begin reviving the two
>the duchess would get to live a second life
>the daughter would most likely be locked up in some nursing home til she died of her mother's old age
>and now
>now you're supposed to sleep?

Part 3: Raspberry Heaven

>after maybe an hour or six of not sleeping, the door to your quarters slides open
>oh fuck no
>you want to hide under the small, threadbare sheet
>but the figure who steps in is neither the mad scientist nor any monstrous creation of hers
>"Uncle Anonymous?"
>it's the little one
>the clone
>Raspberry Heaven
"Uh…"
>"I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep."
"Don't you have a 'mother' for this?"
>the little red filly shakes her head
>"She always keeps her door locked. And I was up wondering about you. I haven't met anyone new since I was little."
"You still are little."
>Raspberry Heaven considers this
>"That's true. Since I was very little, then."
>you sit up
>the sheets fall from your chest
"What did you want to know?"
>"First of all, what happened to your coat? You're almost completely hairless all of the sudden."
>coat?
>hairless?
>oh
"You mean my shirt? It was dirty, so I took it off to sleep."
>Raspberry cocks her head
"You know, it's clothing. Like the white jacket your mother wears."
>"I see. And where do big hairless creatures such as yourself come from? And why did you come here?"
"Uh, well…"
>it seems that Raspberry Heaven is kept largely ignorant of the sort of things Phylum Strata does
>it's probably wisest to keep it that way
"Well that's part of the reason why I'm here. I don't exactly know where I'm from. But your mother said she can help me find out."
>a little eyebrow shoots up skeptically
>"You don't know where you're from?"
"I mean, I know what place I'm from, but I don't know where it is. I don't know how I could get back if I wanted to."
>"So you want to go home?"
"Uh, I don't know. But I suppose if I can, I should."
>"How can you not know what you want?"
"Well, uh, feelings are complicated. There's probably been a time where you weren't sure if you wanted something."
>"I don't believe there has been."
"Are you sure? You never had to think for a little bit about whether you wanted chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream, or something like that?"
>Raspberry Heaven blinks
>"What's ice cream?"
"Uh, okay, well…"
>hm
>all right, this one should stump her
"Do you want me to pat your head?"
>the little red filly's ears flick up and down
>"What?"
"It's a simple question. Do you want me to take my hand and rub it on your head, or not?"
>"Um, I don't understand-"
>you cut her off by using the long reach which your alien, ape-like physiology grants you
>and placing your hand on Raspberry Heaven's head
>and rubbing
>and scratcing a little bit too
>"Um! Uh… ah!"
>you feel the warm little head press up into your palm
>"Ahhhhh…"
>finally, you take your hand away
"Well, did you want that?"
>"Um… Um… I'm not sure."
"Why don't you go to bed and think about it then? I'm sure your mother is going to make me start working early, so I'd appreciate if you let me sleep now."
>"Y-yes, Uncle Anonymous."
>Raspberry practically stumbles out the room
>you grin
>that little pony is seriously adorable

>plain oatmeal is actually a fairly common breakfast in Equestria
>naturally, of course, since ponies are, you know, ponies
>they like the taste of oats in and of themselves
>you, however, do not
>no matter how many times Rainbow Dash told you that you were ruining your oats
>you just couldn't help adding sugar and fruits
>there are no such sweeteners upon the breakfast table of the mad scientist Phylum Strata
>just plain, boiled, rolled oats
>but, really
>even though you haven't eaten in the last 24 hours
>you're not actually hungry anyway
>you're just sort of poking at the oats
>observing your companions
>Phylum Strata is alternating between taking a bite of oats
>and glaring at you
>and glaring at Raspberry Heaven
>but that's probably because Raspberry Heaven keeps stealing nervous glances at you
>you force down a spoonful of bland whole grains
>"Uncle Anonymous."
"Hm? Uh er, yeah?"
>"I think I did want it. I mean, what you did. Last night."
>Phylum Strata rolls her eyes and sighs
>oh fucking shit
>you stare wide-eyed at the mad doctor, wondering if she heard that the way it sounds
>waiting for a death laser to come and annihilate you
>"Uncle Anonymous? Did you hear me?"
"Uh, y-yeah, that's good."
>Phylum Strata takes a sip of her coffee
>she isn't looking at you any more
>holy fuck
>if she thinks you've done something indecent with her underaged clone, she sure doesn't seem to give a fuck
>"Mister Faggot, it is time for us to begin our work. Come with me. The mechanical mares will clean up after you."
"S-sure."
>"Uncle Anonymous, can I come see you again tonight?"
>nope, nevermind, that's it
>you're dead
>you're literally actually going to fucking die today
"S-sure thing, kiddo."
>"Mister Faggot, please do not delay."
"Yes, ma'am, I mean master, I mean-"
>"Phylum Strata will do. Come."
>you follow Phylum Strata into the main hub of six doors
>she leads you into another hub with three more doors
>and then she leads you into a lab
>this one seems a lot less evil than the one she had you working in yesterday
>still, you're feeling pretty apprehensive
>"Anonymous Faggot."
>okay, here it comes
>the sweet embrace of death
"Ididn'tdoanythingindecentorlewdwithyourdaughterIswearpleasedon'tvaporiseme!"
>"I know."
"O-oh. Okay."
>you probably could have handled that with a little more dignity
"I want you to know that Raspberry Heaven, in her current state, is a temporary entity. As I have told you, if she grows old enough, I shall eradicate all sentimentality from her mind and convert her to pure objectivism."
>"Thus, I am not concerned in the slightest with the notion that you may poison her mind. In fact, I see it as beneficial. One must first learn sentimentality in order to recognize it for the plague it is."
>"I understand if this situation must be pushing your feeble mind to its very limits. If the companionship of my creation keeps you sane during your time in my laboratory, then by all means, indulge yourself."
"Gee, um-"
>"However, I would caution you against getting too attached to my creation. She is, as I have said, a temporary entity, and my plans are constantly in flux. Should I find it necessary that she should pass before you leave, it will be much easier on your mental health if you have not developed any sort of psychological dependency on her."
>okay
>there's yet another horrifying implication that'll keep you up at night
"Well, thanks for the advice."
>"You are quite welcome to it."
"Say, uh, while we're on this subject, what kind of name is Raspberry Heaven anyway?"
>the appraising eyebrow
>"It was my own name when I was her age. And it is just as suitable as any other name."

Part 4: On Carrots

>Phylum Strata flicks a switch on a console
>a screen lights up on it
>"On your world, there is a saying: The carrot, and the stick. I presume you are familiar with this idiom?"
"Yeah."
>"Do I need to remind you what the 'stick' is in your situation?"
"Nope."
>"Good. Then behold: the 'carrot.'"
>the screen comes into focus
>there is a green field
>figures walk, run, play, sit, and eat upon the lush grass
>the figures are human
>not the bug-eyed rainbow-colored "humans" Twilight showed you last year
>but real human beings just like yourself
>with peach-colored skin
>and normal-sized eyes
>"I am primarily concerned with the physical sciences. Those fields which unicorn scholars would refer to as mundane, or non-magical are the point from which I shall revolutionize this society. But in this world I cannot wholly discount the use of magic as a tool. I have discovered multiple magical artifacts in these very mountains and incorporated a number of them into certain inventions of mine, all of which are contained within this room."
>huh
>you wonder if she'd be keeping Sombra in here as well
>"It is through these semi-magical devices that I was able to detect you when you arrived in this world, and again when you had my mountain magically altered."
>there was a name Apple Fritter had mentioned
>an old wizard outlaw who lived in these mountains
"Darkstar the Peg-Horned."
>Phylum Strata cocks her eyebrow at you
>"Hm, I see you are familiar with the local superstition. Yes, an ancient wizard named Darkstar once abode in these mountains, and I do believe that he left the artifacts which I have discovered."
>the cold objectivist's expression hardens
>"Despite Darkstar's focus on the arcane sciences, I do consider him a sort of 'spiritual ancestor' of mine, so to speak. He fled to these mountains after a fit of passion ended poorly for him. I have reason to believe that when he arrived here, he trained himself in objectivity, and proceeded to focus singularly on the pursuit of knowledge."
"So you came here in a fit of passion?"
>Phylum Strata glares at you, and ignores your question
>ah, right
>can't interrupt the mad scientist while she's solliloquizing
>"If the scholars in Canterlot were half so dedicated to their science as Darkstar was, my mundane pursuits here would already be obsolete. Alas, the only pony since Darkstar to possess his objective aptitude for science is me, and as an earth pony it is my destiny to focus on the physical rather than the metaphysical."
"Makes sense."
>Phylum Strata scratches her chin
>"Though at one point I did possess the legendary 'peg-horn' of Darkstar, and with its spellcasting power I imagined I could bring about a perfect union of physical and arcane sciences. Unfortunately, it was stolen from me many years ago, and I was unable to retrieve it."
"Somebody stole something from you?"
>"Yes, but no more of that now. Though I could doubtless entrance your feeble mind for hours with tales and thoughts from my extraordinary life, it is time now for us to work."
>the scientist gestures at the console showing its scene on Earth
>"This is the device which accesses the magical link between Equestria and Earth. In order to prepare your 'carrot', it shall be necessary to make some rather extensive modifications to it. Since I have no clients today, we may as well begin here so that you may see I intend to keep my word."
>Phylum Strata flips a circuit breaker, and her console blinks off
>"Now, retrive a screwdriver from that cabinet over there. Cross-tip, and three thirty-seconds of an inch."

Part 5: On Headpats

>night time again
>not that you can tell for sure
>inside this evil lair, even the interior lighting doesn't go dark when it's time to sleep
>a much more sophisticated lighting technology than magic, flame, gas, or even Earthly lightbulbs, claimed the good doctor
>with the special use of radium, these lights won't burn out for tens of thousands of years, she said
>the only downside is that they can't be turned off or on again
>but, objectively, Phylum Strata argued, there's no rational reason why your vision should ever be obscured by darkness in the first place
>it's been a long time since you last got a full night's sleep
>not since Twilight's last visit to your home anyway
>but tonight will not be the night that changes
>you're sitting on the small, flat mattress provided for you by the mad scientist
>staring at the wall
>pretending there's a window there
>imagining a tiny Apple Fritter waving at you from far-below Picacholt
>way down near the base of the mountains
>begging you to come back
>begging you to clean up the mess you made
>the whirr of an electric moter and the sliding of fiberglass on aluminum alerts you to the presence of a visitor
>you turn around to see
"Oh, hey Razzie."
>a little red ear flicks
>"Who is 'Razzie?'"
"You are. It's a nickname."
>saucer-sized red eyes blink
>"What's a nickname?"
"Well, it's, uh, it's something folks call each other when they don't feel like saying their full names. It's something friends do sometimes, too, to show that they like each other."
>a little red head tilts
>"So, which is it in this case?"
"Huh?"
>"Am I your friend, or do you simply not want to say my full name?"
"Ah, a little of both, I guess."
>"Then... I am your friend?"
"Sure."
>"That makes me happy. Do you have a nickname, Uncle Anonymous?"
"You can call me Anon."
>"Anon... Does that mean that you're my friend?"
"Yeah. I guess it does."
>Razzie looks down and smiles
>"Mother tells me that the mechanical mares are my friends, but I can't talk with them as I do with you."
"So you wanted to talk?"
>"Um... no. I..."
>Razzie clambers onto the mattress
>"I want..."
>and she presses her way onto your lap
>"I want you to do it to me again."
>huh?
>"To pat my head. Again. I want that."
>heh
"Sure."
>your fingers find their way behind Razzie's ears
>she squeaks
>then kicks
>then sighs
>and relaxes

Part 6: Wherein Anon is Not a Hero

>judging by the number of times Phylum Strata has had the mechanical mares toss you into your quarters, it's been a week
>for the most part, you've been Strata's fingers for working on various gadgets and experiments that you only vaguely understand
>you've almost forgotten why you consider her a mad scientist
>but today you will be reminded
>"Anonymous, we have a client. Come with me into the operation room."
>you're frozen
"A client for... what?"
>"For the brain swapping procedure, what else?"
>you can't seem to move at all
>"Would you like to me to describe what happens to a body when it is tossed from a ten-thousand foot mountain?"
>you manage to clear your throat
"I'm coming."
>"How prudent."
>on the left hand table is an old, fat, brown earth pony stallion
>on the right hand table is a little, lavender unicorn filly
"H-hang on, these two don't even look related."
>"And what concern is that to me?"
"It's just... doesn't this seem wrong to you?"
>"The baron here has expressed a wish to become a little filly, and he has provided me with good money for the opportunity."
"That... doesn't make it right or wrong."
>Phylum Strata snorts
>"What would be wrong, Anonymous, would be to allow my scientific research to go underfunded. In the pursuit of knowledge, I would gladly sacrifice any number of silly little fillies."
"I really can't do this."
>"If you cannot do this, then I shall have to run experiments to determine what exactly you can do. I think I'll start with an experiment to determine whether or not you can fly."
"I guess I can't do that either."
>"We simply won't know until I test it."
>well
>it turns out that you can
>not fly, of course
>but amoral brain surgeries
>that you're apparently more than capable of
>Phylum Strata made you watch her wake them up
>made you watch the old, fat stallion's body sob like a little girl
>i-it's not your fault
>right?

Part 7: Checkers and an Aftermath

>has it been weeks?
>months?
>you've stopped keeping track of the days in your head
>you only know that it's early in the morning
>and that Raspberry Heaven is jumping up and down on top of your gut
>"Anon, wake up! I've found something!"
"Stop, stop, stop, please!"
>"Are you awake now?"
>you sit up and wheeze
"I assume so."
>"Look, I found this box. It says it's some sort of game!"
"Yeah, it does, it does. Let me see."
>sounding out the horse heiroglyphs, it says…
"Checkers."
>huh
>usually, when you find something in Equestria that's similar to something you knew on Earth, the name is changed somewhat
>and usually, that change takes the form of a horse pun
>"Checkers. Do you know this game, Anon?"
"Yeah, I think I actually do."
>Razzie throws the box open and dumps its contents onto the floor
>"Then let's play!"
>it does indeed look like the game you're familiar with
>the red and black board
>the red and black disks
>you slink onto the floor and set up the board
"Okay, it's pretty simple. You're red and I'm black. We're gonna take turns moving our pieces. You move one of your pieces one square forward, but if you're diagonal from one of my pieces you can move your piece over mine and take it. If you take all of my pieces before I take yours, you win. There are a few more rules but I'll point them out when we get there."
>"When can we start?"
"Now. You're red, so you go first."
>after about ten minutes
>you had expected to lose by now
>you figured you'd take it real easy on Razzie
>because she's a little kid
>and it's her first game of checkers
>you've refrained from taking any of her pieces
>you've plopped your pieces right next to hers so she could take them
>but
>she's really bad at this
>at this point in the game, nearly all of your pieces have been kinged
>just because you had to keep moving them forward
>she's only taken two of your pieces
>and only because you pointed out to her that she could
>currently, Raspberry Heaven is scrunched in thought, staring at the board
>you've moved six of your kings back into spaces where she could take them right now
>finally, her face lights up
>she puts her hoof over a piece
>and moves it to your edge of the board
>and looks up at you triumphantly
>"King me."
"Wow, yeah, good job, Razzie."
>whoever made this box of checkers seemed to have a scenario exactly like this in mind
>it has about double the pieces you'd need for a game
>which is good, because there are almost no captured pieces with which you could crown Razzie's first king
>you're wondering if there's a way you can quickly end the game without hurting the little filly's feelings
>when the door whirrs open
>and Phylum Strata strides in

>"Anonymous, come with me immediately. I'll allow you to eat later-"
>the geriatric genius adjusts her glasses
>"What are you doing?"
>Raspberry Heaven beams
>"Good morning, mother. We're playing checkers!"
>"I can quite see that. Where in the world did you find that?"
>Razzie looks down
>"I… found it in the caves, mother."
>Phylum Strata practically growls
>"Yes, I suppose you must have. How many times must I tell you to stay out of the caves?"
>"Um…"
>"And what is this, Raspberry Heaven? Are you… are you losing?"
>the mad doctor scrutinizes the board
>and scoffs
>"And Anonymous, I suppose that you have been 'taking it easy' on her, haven't you?"
"Uh… n-"
>"How dreadful! That a creation from my own body and brain should lose in a simple game of checkers to a simple creature like Anonymous!"
>Phylum Strata sets her face in stone
>then sets herself in front of the checkers board
>"Sit beside me, Raspberry Heaven. I shall counsel you, and you shall win."
>what happens next is almost too fast to comprehend
>Phylum Strata informs Razzie of the rule that you can move your piece multiple times in one turn for successive captures
>naturally, you hadn't gotten to that
>then she points out all the black pieces that are ready to be captured right now
>then she maps out a devestating move and directs Razzie to execute it
>one move
>"Yes. Now calculate your next attack on your own."
>something has been set off inside of Razzie
>two moves
>three moves
>it's over
>you are utterly defeated
>"Yes! Well done, Raspberry Heaven!"
>the cold objectivist begins to laugh with glee
>but catches herself
>and grunts
>and tries to get away
>but it's too late
>Raspberry Heaven is already blissfully nuzzled into her mother's chest

>Phylum Strata stares upon her creation for a moment
>and recoils
>she stands up
>backs away
>is she sweating?
>Razzie cocks her head
>"Mother?"
>Phylum Strata shakes her head
>takes a deep breath
>glances at the conquered checkers board
>glares at you
>"We've wasted quite enough time on frivolities. Come with me immediately, Anonymous. And Raspberry Heaven, I forbid you from entering the caves outside of this home."
>the good doctor is leading you toward the operation room
>fuck shitting damnit
>the mad scientist silently triggers the retinal scanner
>inside the room you behold a young stallion and a teenage colt immobilized the simulated death of Phylum Strata
>the doctor makes sure that both mechanical mares have entered the room before shutting the door
>"Squeamish as you are, Anonymous, this case should be agreeable even to you."
>"This colt here is a young marquis. His body will be paralyzed for the rest of its life."
>"This stallion here is a burglar. He was in the process of robbing the young marquis' home when he injured the marquis' spine."
>"The young marquis' parents have paid me to restore their son's normal life, at the expense of the one who took it away. Do you suppose, Anonymous, that this is a procedure that you can carry out without your normal effeminate shaking?"
"Uh…"
>"Apparently not. Well, at the very least I do expect that you can carry out this procedure without my explicit instruction. It is, after all, an extremely simple operation, and this is your third time doing it. Hopefully the lessened moral compunction in this case will only help you."
"I guess so."
>"You should hope so. I am going to attend to other business now. Should you attempt to escape this room in my absence, my mechanical mares will reduce you to a very smooth jelly. Do you understand?"
"Y-yeah…"
>the doctor considers something for a moment
>"However, should you at any point find yourself unsure of how to proceed, stop and wait for me to return. Do you understand?"
"Yeah. I understand."
>"Good."
>without another word, Phylum Strata disappears
>and you're somewhat horrified to discover
>that you can, in fact, perform the brain-swapping operation on your own by now
>at least there's some sort of justice to it this time
>right?

Part 8: The Life of All Flesh

>when Phylum Strata came back into the operation room three days ago
>she wouldn't look you in the eye with her usual appraising eyebrow
>in fact, she wouldn't look at you at all
>since then, you haven't seen her
>and you've mostly occupied your time by playing with Razzie
>not checkers, of course
>she's gotten entirely too good at checkers
>but you've taught her tag, hide-and-seek, some word games
>and she's taught you the strange role-playing games which small children are prone to inventing
>currently, you are Hovan, the great white ape
>and Razzie, with her paper sword, is the hero who must imminently slay you
"Graaaaaaggh!"
>you've been kind of bored
>Razzie's heroic one-liners are somewhat muffled due to the faux-sword in her mouth
>"Terk thert!"
>there's a flash of blinding white paper
"Ow!"
>Razzie spits out her sword
>"Anooon, I told you that apes cannot talk!"
>a thin red line is forming on your wrist where the paper sword smote you
"Oh, I got a paper cut."
>Razzie does her head-tilt
>"A paper cut?"
"Yeah, it's fine. It'll close up in a few minutes."
>a small red drop falls onto the polished chrome floor between you and Razzie
>her ears flop back
>"I did not realize that paper could be so dangerous..."
"Don't worry, it isn't."
>you allow a devilish grin to spread across your face
"And it won't stop me from gobbling you up!"
>arms outstretched, you lunge toward the disarmed hero
>"No!"
>faster than thought, the valorous filly takes up her sword and evades your lunge
>and the weapon thwacks against your knee!
"Graaagghh!"
>you fall
>and the recyclable sword is pointed directly at your throat
>"Er'll lert yer ger, erf yer prermers ter sterp gerbling erp lertl ferlies!"
"What?"
>Razzie spits out the sword
>"I said, I'll let you go, if you promise to stop gobbling up little fillies!"
>little does she know that she's fallen for your trick yet again
"Never!"
>monstrous, ape-like hands sieze Raspberry Heaven and pull her into your chest for an immobilizing hug
>and finally, gobbling sound-effects and tickling are employed to secure the victory of evil
>"Ah! Stop! Hahaha! Please! You cheated! Ah! Stop! Ha! You win! Stop!"
>triumphantly, you set the giggling Razzie on the floor
>after about a minute, she manages to suppress her laughter and begins to pout
>"You tricked me!"
"That's what bad guys do."
>and then
>as if attracted by the phrase 'bad guys'
>a haggard-looking Phylum Strata steps through the automatic sliding door
>'haggard' in the sense that she appears physically exhausted
>emotionally, she looks to be back to her normal, cold self
>"Anonymous, I am going to have something to eat. When I have finished, I will retrieve you. There is urgent work which we must start upon as soon as possible."

>when Phylum Strata re-enters the room, she hands a needle and a vial to you
>"Anonymous, take a sample of Raspberry Heaven's blood."
>Razzie's ears flick up and down a few times
>"My blood, mother?"
>"Yes. I shall need a small amount of it for my work. You may help me make sick ponies well again, Raspberry Heaven."
"Uh..."
>"Oh, don't tell me you have some sort of moral objection to needles as well, Anonymous."
>you cringe
"N-no, it's just-"
>Razzie taps on your leg
>"I don't mind, Uncle Anonymous."
"Uh, all right."
>Phylum Strata groans
>"And please do hurry."
>and with your vial of Razzie, you follow the mad doctor to a room you haven't seen before
>"Now, place that vial into that stand."
>"Now, take this micropipette, and retrieve a sample from that yellow beaker."
>"Deposit the chemical into the vial."
>"Now, afix that cover to the vial."
>gently, she takes the vial into her teeth
>and places it into a sort of circular rack
>she presses a button on the circular rack
>and it begins to spin
>when the machine finally stops spinning, the blood in the vial has separated into three layers
>Phylum Strata directs you to micropipette the top layer into the drain, and the lower two layers into their own vials
>the good doctor directs your attention to the two new vials
>"Do you realize what these vials contain, Anonymous?"
"Uh... plasma?"
>"No. Plasma was what you discarded. The yellow substance in the one vial is protein, and the clear substance in the other consists of lipid-based hormones."
"Okay."
>"I suppose the finer biological details of my reasoning would be lost on you, but I am going to attempt to isolate one specific protein, and one specific hormone. Would you like to guess what effect these two chemicals will have on the equine body?"
"Uh, to combat erectile dysfunction?"
>"How crude. No. The chemicals which I am going to isolate and synthesize will, in short, reverse the aging process to a point, and prolong youth indefinitely."
"Whoah."
>"Quite. This formula, once I perfect it, will serve as a replacement for the majority of the brain transplant procedures I perform. Objectively, it will be far more time-efficient than invasive brain surgery. And I can only imagine the sentimental meaning such a discovery would mean for a creature like you."
"Y-yeah. This sounds great."
>"It gets greater. Once I perfect my indefinite youth formula, you will be free to leave me. I will no longer have a purpose for you, as I will be able to reverse my own aging enough to become adept at operating my finger-machines once more."
"Uh... but what about... the... you know, the carrot?"
>"I have not forgotten. The machine which can send you back to Earth was perfected weeks ago. I will permit you to use it when you are ready, as we agreed."
>oh
>shit
>nigger
>you're gonna go home!

Part 8: The State of This Evil Lair

"Doc, we've been at this for 18 days. Not that your energy pills aren't brilliant, but I don't think they're working for me anymore."
>the deepening bags under Phylum Strata's eyes betray that she, too, is at last growing weary
>she growls like a fucking animal for a moment
>"Very well. My serum of youth is at least developed enough for a trial."
"Oh, good."
>"But I shall need a test subject."
"Uh…"
>"Do not flatter yourself. This serum could only affect pony tissue. Furthermore, you would be too young to show conclusive results."
"So, what are you- oh, shitniggers!"
>Phylum Strata is holding a sharp scalpel in her teeth and sinking it into her foreleg
>a perfect circle of horseflesh, about half the size of a dime, balances on the scalpel for a moment, and is flung onto a rectangular glass slide
"Uh, I thought you weren't able to do stuff like that anymore. Hence why you kidnapped me."
>the old doctor glares at you
>"I would advise you to think less on such matters. It may simply be that I judged my age to be less of a risk to my body than your squeamishness."
>may?
>"There is a roll of gauze in the cabinet on the left. Bring it to me."
>with her teeth, Phylum Strata ties the gauze around her leg
>"Now dispense a liberal amount of glucose solution onto the slide."
>"Now, with the micropipette, dispense two drops of my serum onto the slide
>"Ah, and I shall cover it with… this petri dish."
>and, just like that, the trial is underway
>in the central hub of the lair, a surprise is waiting
>Raspberry Heaven lies curled up next to a set checkers board
>at the sound of you and Phylum Strata entering, the filly stirs
>"Mother, are you finally done with your work?"
>"Not quite. My goodness, how long have you been waiting there?"
>"Um, perhaps a week. Would you like to play checkers with me, mother?"
>Phylum Strata scratches at her wattle for a moment
>"Very well. Ah, and Anonymous, I would advise you to get some sleep."
>that
>is something you intend to do

>sleep comes instantly
>you're in the desert
>furnace winds are blowing heat and sand all around
>you raise your arms defensively
>but the grains of sand are blowing right through them
>you're guessing that they're blowing right through your eyes too
>you put down your arms
>this looks like the plains outside of Picacholt
>yeah, out there in the distance, the lights of the small town shine defiantly against the nasty night
>in the opposite direction stand the mountains
>you try for a moment to pick out the lair of Phylum Strata
>but in this sandstorm, it's useless
>a voice cries out in the desert
>"Anon!"
>oh shit
>that's the last voice you want to hear
>a searchlight
>it's bright purple
>bright lavender
>almost white
>it swoops close to you
>nope nope nope
>you jump out of the light's path
>and then you see her
>in the light of her own horn, you can see that her eyes are stung red from the sand
>her mane is blowing wildly in the wind
>she takes a break from scanning the desert to cough and sputter into her foreleg
>at her side stands a pony you haven't seen before
>she's taller
>blue
>would that be Princess Luna?
>you'd better hide, boy
>uh, is there a big rock somewhere?
>or something like a…
>that giant fucking cactus!
>you leap behind it and stand as straight as possible
>and just in time
>the searchlight passes your hiding spot
>the shadow only sillhouettes the cactus
>you stick your head through the cactus for a moment
>just to look at her
>just to look at Twilight fucking Sparkle
>"Anon!"
>the big blue pony puts her hoof on Twilight's shoulder
>says something
>Twilight says something back
>blue pony shakes her head
>Twilight scowls
>stamps her hoof
>sighs
>turns around and follows the blue pony back into town
>thank fuck
>"Anon."
>you cringe
>wheel around
>behind you stands Sombra
"Oh hey, dude."
>"Found you."
"Found me?"
>"Sensed dream magic. Followed it here."
"Dream… oh, shit, this is a dream!"
>"Yes."
"Oh good, I thought that was real."
>"Was real. Dream for you. Not for them. Magic."
"Shit, man, Twilight's getting awful close. Wait, I guess I kind of want that now."
>"She's leaving."
"Oh, fuck, yeah, let me just-"
>you leap out from behind your cactus
"Twilight!"
>fuck, they're awful far off by now
>did they stop for a moment?
>either way, it looks like they're still heading back into Picacholt
>maybe you can chase them?
>nope, never mind
>looks like whatever dream magic they were using wore off
>Twilight and her companion disappear
>the desert disappears
"Fuck!"
>you stand in a black void with Sombra
"Well, I can see that you're still here. Since you're not trapped in a shiny rock I assume you're in some kind of magic dream body or something?"
>"Yes."
"All right, where are you for real?"
>"Was moved. Thrown. Not sure. See skeletons."
"Skeletons?"
>"Yes."
"That's pretty spooky. Can you show me?"
>Sombra closes his eyes
>his horn glows blood-red
>but a pruny hoof slaps you awake
>and you're staring into the very-much-waking eyes of Phylum Strata
"Fuck!"
>"I should be the one shouting vulgarities, Anonymous. The trial was a failure."
"Was it?"
>"Yes. The tissue sample entered a state of rapid necrosis."
"Well, shit, you've got more of the serum, right? We'll just keep working on it til it's right."
>the doctor breathes a ragged breath
>"No. I will work on the serum until it is right. You will wait for further orders."
"Aye aye, doc."
>Phylum Strata shakes her head violently
>and storms out of the room
>all's not well in the state of this evil lair

Part 10: I Want to See the Sun

>you never thought you'd miss Phylum Strata ordering you to assist her in abominations of science
>but to tell the truth, you're kind of bored
>this is only the day after she disappeared into her lab without you
>you probably should be more anxious right about now
>but you seem to have burnt through all your anxiety
>you're sitting against the wall in the main hub
>Razzie is curled up on the opposite side
>a big red ball lazily rolls its way toward her
>she swats it
>and now the ball is lazily rolling to you
>at last, your sense of responsibility overcomes your apathy
>there's at least one productive thing you could be doing right now
"Hey Razzie."
>"Yes?"
"You know how to get into the caverns outside of here, don't you?"
>Razzie's head cocks
>"Yes."
"Wanna go exploring?"
>Razzie frowns
>then flops onto her back
>and finally, leaps to her hooves
>"That sounds like fun."
"Yeah?"
>"Follow me."
>wow
>you didn't have to drag that out of her at all
>Razzie must sneak out all the time
>the little red pony leads you into her bedroom
>taped to a low point on the wall is a large crayon drawing
>this Razzie carefully peels from the wall and gently sets on the floor
>"When mother first made the mechanical mares, one of them had an accident and made this hole. I never told mother about it."
>geez
>that wall only looks about half an inch thick
>but it is solid metal
>fucking scary robot horses
"Nice."
>"There used to be other ways, but mother locked them. You'll have to squeeze through here."

>it's a bit of a tight fit
>but you do make it
>all right
>if you can find skeletons, you can find Sombra
>he's gotta be out here somewhere
>you brush the cave dust off of your pants
>and see Razzie smiling sweetly at you
>oh shit
>you can't let Razzie see skeletons
>she's too little, it would spook her for life
>hang on now, think, there's gotta be a way to make this happen…
>"Um, Anon?"
"Yeah?"
>"You have been outside of these caverns, right?"
"Yeah."
>"Is the sky really blue?"
>heh
"Sometimes. Some days it can be white or grey, and at night it's black. But yeah, sometimes it's blue. Sometimes it's really blue."
>"Could you show me?"
"If I could find my way out of here."
>"I think I know a way. Do you see those hoofprints?"
>it never ceases to amuse you that perfectly smooth pony hooves always leave horseshoe-shapes wherever they trod
>you spot a big mass of horseshoe-shapes in the… something… light?
>actually, how the hell is this cavern lighted?
>it's too red to be sunlight leaking in
"Yeah, over there."
>"I've followed them as far as they go, but they get to a point that I can't climb over."
"I can help with that."
>Razzie bounces and grins
>"Follow me."
>it'll be a few more days before it strikes you as odd that you never wondered what made the hoofprints
>but when you come around a corner in the cavern you see what's lighting it
>apparently mountains sometimes have deep pits inside of their caverns
>and sometimes those pits have roiling pools of red-hot magma at the bottom

>finally
>you reach a point where white light seems to shine in from just around the next corner
>"Is that the sun?"
"I think… it…"
>and there it is
>the blue sky above
>the pale yellow sands below
"Is."
>"Wow…"
"Razzie, don't look straight at the sun like that, you'll hurt your eyes."
>well, you didn't notice any skeletons on the way out here
>but at least you've found the sun
>just imagine, a little over a year or two ago you didn't think you'd care if you ever felt the sun on your face again
>in the distance, you can see a town
>would that be Picacholt?
>huh
>you could escape right now
>but what about Razzie?
>she can't climb back home on her own
>what if you took her with you?
>no, she should stay with her mother
>Doc Strata seems like she's having a change of heart
>the whole youth serum thing to replace the brain-swapping thing
>it feels like a pretty major step away from mad scientism
>in a year or so, she might even be a perfectly pleasant pony to talk to
>besides, she's about to let you go anyway
>she'll probably even just give Sombra back to you
>if you tried to escape now she might just recapture you and do something horrible to you
>and that would undo all the progress she's made
>"Anon, is it this hot everywhere outside?"
"Not everywhere. Some places actually get really cold."
>"I'd like to go there some day. I don't think I like the heat very much."
"You wanna go back inside?"
>"In a little bit. What's that thing up in the sky?"
"That's a bird."

Part 11: Pancakes

>when Phylum Strata finally emerges from her laboratory, her forelegs are covered in dozens of strips of gauze
>Razzie jumps to her hooves at the sight
>"Mother! Are you done with your work yet?"
>"Oh, Raspberry Heaven. Maybe. Probably not. Can I ever really be done with my work?"
>Razzie taps her chin with a little red hoof
>"I don't know."
"You all right, doc? You look a little, uh, cut up."
>"Don't worry about me, Anonymous. I may be rid of these wounds sooner than you think."
"So the serum… works?"
>"Oh, not quite. Do you know, Anonymous, I think I shall send you home today."
"Home?"
>"Home."
"Home home?"
>"If by that you mean, 'Earth,' then yes, home. You actually finished the transportation device quite some time ago. I never told you for fear you would use it."
"Whoah. There's still those couple of things I'd like to take care of here in Equestria, but… whoah."
>"Yes, of course, of course. I presume you should like to go to Picacholt, and then to Ponyville."
>uh
>not sure about Ponyville
>actually
>fuck it
>if you're literally never going to see her again, you might as well take the time to talk to Twilight
"Sure."
>"Good. Now first I'm going to need your help with one more task."
"What's that?"
>"Ah, we can discuss that after I make some breakfast for you and Raspberry Heaven."

"Whoah, doc, that's a lot of pancakes."
>"Is it? You are a rather large creature, and Raspberry Heaven is a growing filly."
"Well, that's true."
>"Please, both of you, eat."
>Razzie stabs a pancake
>then tilts her head
>"Mother, aren't you going to have anything to eat?"
>Phylum Strata waves a pruny hoof
>"Oh, no. This meal would be wasted on this old body."
"You know, doc, you seem different."
>"Do I?"
"Yeah. You seem awful, uh, sentimental lately."
>"Well, I suppose I would."
"Well, what happened?"
>the good doctor scratches at her chin
>"I have realized my own mortality."
>whoah
"Oh."
>Razzie pipes up
>"What is mortality?"
>a thin line of white appears underneath the doctor's irises
>"Mortality is the principle which says that all living things must die. For a body as old as mine, this must come very soon."
>whoah
>whoah
>you can't just say that to a little kid
>just look at Razzie, she's…
>thoughtfully chewing on pancakes?
>"I see."
>Razzie frowns
>"What would happen to me after you die, mother?"
>oh
>well, Razzie always was kind of weird
>"Do not worry, Raspberry Heaven. I have made arrangements for you to be taken care of for the rest of your life."
>silence reigns at the breakfast table of the mad scientist Phylum Strata
>after a while, even the sound of forks and knives clinking against plates ceases
>finally, Phylum Strata clears her throat
>"Raspberry Heaven, would you follow me? There is something I must show you."
>Razzie slides out of her chair
>and she looks up at her creator
>with great, big, red eyes
>all sparkling with wonder
>"Yes, mother."
>Phylum Strata leads her daughter into the main hub
>you follow after them
>"Anonymous, wait out here. When we are done, I shall give you your final task."
>the pair of them disappear through an automatic sliding door
>huh
>you wonder at the intricacies of Doctor Phylum Strata
>it's like she's transformed from some kind of cold psychopath
>into something almost like a friendly grandma
>was that from you?
>surely you aren't that lovable
>…
>wait
>…
>wait a second
>…
>that room Phylum Strata took Raspberry Heaven into
>isn't that
>the operation room?

Part 12: Choosing a Side

>okay
>no
>it's fine
>probably
>you feel on the verge of throwing up
>but surely
>surely
>your fears are unfounded
>the doc seemed so much like she'd changed
>although it was awful sudden
>although she did say she could fake "sentimentality" if she needed to
>although she is possibly the most intelligent creature in two worlds, and could likely easily trick you
>but surely
>surely you're just being paranoid
>things never turn out as bad as you imagine
>so Phylum Strata is alone in the operation room with Razzie
>the same operation room where she made you commit horrific atrocities
>but surely, she wouldn't subject her daughter to those same atrocities
>even though she's said that Razzie is a temporary entity
>even though she's said she's okay with sacrificing fillies on the altar of science
>but there's no way
>there's just no way
>things that exciting just don't happen to you
>you helped save the world just last year, and even that was awful anti-climatic
>you got caught up in a western just recently, and only ended up meekly getting run out of town
>no
>the choice you're afraid you're going to have to make here
>it can't be real
>it's just not your lot in life
>the door whirrs open
>"Anonymous, come in."

>what you see
>matches what you feared
>matches so exactly
>that you don't realize you're seing it for several moments
>and then your head is dunked into boiling water
>you can't stand up straight
>you can barely see
>there
>on the table
>not moving
>not breathing
>is Raspberry Heaven
>you're on your knees
"I-is she…"
>you can't say it
>"What? Dead? Of course not, how in the world could my brain survive in a dead body? You should know very well by now about my chemically-induced simulated-death."
>Phylum Strata puts her chin to her hoof
>"Though I suppose I will have to destroy her brain afterward, as a precaution."
>Phylum Strata's cutie mark is the kind you normally only see on magically-inclined unicorns
>plastered across her wrinkled old butt is an irregular field of red
>darker red than the rest of her
>the kind of red that you might see in canned berries
>the kind of red that you might see in dried blood
>on top of the field of berry-blood there are
>one
>two
>…
>eighteen stars
>not arranged into any particular shape that you can make out
>the celestial vision of a wrinkled butt
>prefigured by her birth name as Raspberry Heaven
>eager to be bloodied by the slaughter of an unbirthed daughter of that same name
>"Anonymous! Why are you staring at my flank?"

>Phylum Strata is waving a hoof in front of your unblinking face
>she groans
>"I expected this response. Anonymous, let me remind you of our agreement. Once you accomplish this small favor for me, I can send you home. I alone can send you home, and I will only do so if you abide by the terms of our agreement."
>"Furthermore, with you as my point of contact, my wealth of scientific knowledge can revolutionize Earth as well as Equestria. I alone can grant your world the things which your science fiction has caused you to dream of. Flying cars, cities on distant planets, those women with cat's ears, and much much more. Not to mention the fame and fortune which you would recieve as my liason."
>"But, Anonymous, my body is dying. I am doubtful if it will function for even one more year. I have kept it carefully concealed from you, but in the time since your arrival I have suffered no fewer than two heart attacks. My brain is yet in perfect condition, between the rigorous excercise I subject it to and the chemical substances I replenish it with, but if this body dies with my brain still in it, then my vast stores of knowledge will be lost. Forever."
>"Thus, a sacrifice is necessary. There is a pony who would not exist if I had not created her for my own benefit. In all of existence, there are only two living creatures  who have known her. She has no family or friends who will mourn her. She must be sacrificed for the greater good. I cannot be the one to place my own brain in her body, so it must be you who makes this sacrifice, Anonymous."
>"I have tried to spare her. I thought that perhaps I could find a better use for her later, and I tried to create the serum of youth to answer the question of my own mortality. But in this, I failed. For reasons I cannot yet understand, the serum only causes my tissues to putrify with horrific rapidity. With a new life, I may have time to perfect the serum and ensure that this sacrifice need not be made again. But as it is, I am out of time, and the sacrifice must be made now. And it must be made by you."
>you feel like you must be looking at the world through a glass of milk
"Doc…"
"Doc… I can't…"
>"You can."
"Razzie… Razzie's a good kid, doc. I think… I think… she's my… friend. Doc, no…"
>Phylum Strata's lip curls cruelly
>"Friend? Nothing less from the vassal of Twilight Sparkle, I suppose. So Raspberry Heaven is safe, because she is your friend, hm? Well, what of the others, whose lives you ruined at my direction? One of them was a small filly herself, not much older than Raspberry Heaven. Was she more deserving of that fate than Raspberry Heaven, merely because you did not happen to have met her before? Was the cause of the fetishist who craved her body more noble than my quest for science? Answer me."
>you're ill
>you can't even kneel now
>what she says is true
>you're lying prostrate
"Doc… you're right. I should have said no to you a long time ago. I'm sorry… I'm sorry I didn't."
>"Hypocrite! Coward! I know why you obeyed me then. I threatened you with death, and you feared me. Are you so much more brave now? Even now, my mechanical mares are in this very room, ready to end your miserable life!"
>slowly
>painfully
>you climb to your feet
>and you tower over the mad scientist Phylum Strata
>Phylum Strata, her face blackened in your shadow, roars and stalks to a nearby workbench
>there, she thrusts her hoof into a sort of metal sleeve
>and she shows it to you
>there, five mechanical fingers undulate menacingly
>"Do not presume to be prepared for the punishments of Phylum Strata! Behold, I have deceived you. I am still more than capable of operating my finger machine. The real purpose of your assistance was to prepare you for this very day."
>the false fingers of Phylum Strata flex into a fist
>"With this, I can grant you fates far worse than mere death. You know what I am capable of."
>Hi God, it's me, Anonymous.
>If I resist abomination now, will you forgive me the times I submitted to it before?
>If I lay down my life for a child now, will you forgive me the times I laid down a child's life for myself before?
>And if not, is there any way I could get into the Hell for Equestria, instead of the one for Earth?
>I'd like at least a chance to see Twilight again.
>regards, Anon
>you stretch your arms out and take a big, monstrous step toward Phylum Strata
>she shrieks
>from behind, something hard hits your head
>the mechanical mares, no doubt
>you're pretty sure they reopened the head wound they gave you when you first met them
>and then you're not sure of anything
>because the world goes black