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I don't know what to do about Julia .

a guest Aug 22nd, 2014 208 Never
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  1. Alright hey guys. I need some help.
  2.  
  3. So 9 months ago I became friends with this girl named Julia , Julia helped distract me and helped me get over this other girl Mallisa. Julia is my best friend max's girlfriend/ex/ loves best friend. So at the beginning of our friendship ,I didn't like her, then a month into it I started to like Julia and I told her and she said she didn't like me the same way and I said it was okay, and it was. So i fell back romantically and just stayed her friend,and then my best friend max asked her if she liked me 2-3 weeks after that and she said she didn't know , so seeing that she was at least considering me now, I went back in and we started to become really good friends. About 2 months after that I asked her how she felt about me and she said she wasn't sure, so I didn't push it. About a month after that I asked her how she felt about me she said she didn't know. Keep in mind she was always affectionate or flirty with me, laughing or smiling at me, talking to me, wrapping her legs around mine or playing footsies or looking deeply at me. She never did this with any other guys,just me. She also promised me she'd never hurt me. At the beginning when I told her I liked her I told her not to flirt or anything with me unless she started to like me because I didn't want to feel lead on, and she said she wouldn't because she isn't the type to lead guys on. And then she starting being flirty and affectionate and all over me for 5 months. Her best friend told me whenever she'd see me she'd drop whatever she was doing to go be with me.and she'd say stuff like "wow it's like me and you are already going out 😊☺️". She was always by my side and always came to see me in the hallway. . So about at the 5th month mark I asked again and she said she didn't know. Then about 1 1/2 months after on the last day of school I asked her how she felt about me and she said that she never liked me and that she just didn't want to hurt my feelings but I think the way she was with me was too far to not want to hurt my feelings,I think she just got scared of how serious I was. Anyways, so I stopped talking to her for about 3 weeks to regain my mind, and then I talked to her, and then I didn't for two weeks and then I did again and then nothing for a while,and about two months ago we were talking and I told her that id always be there for her , no matter what. She liked my best friend max at the beginning of their friendship but he doesn't like anyone but her best friend,he's completely in love with her best friend.He told his girlfriend when that happened and his girlfriend and Julia got in a huge argument but then later reconciled and became closer. Max recently told me that around the 3-4 month mark of me and Julia being really close she told him she liked him a second time but he didn't tell Miranda because Julia and Miranda lived together and he didn't want to make things awkward for the next few moths Julia was there.I still think she likes him,it's pretty obvious. Anyways, so I told her I loved her and that id always be there for her and I asked her some questions and asked her why she was the way she was with me and she gave me a bunch of bs answers and I told her that id never pursue her again , but id always be there for her and be her friend. She said she never liked me or had any feelings for me but that makes no sense. Max and my other good friend Brandon think she has some feelings for me.idek , but she's lied to me before because she was scared so, it's a possibility.
  4.  
  5. Time to reveal some things:
  6. 1. 3 years ago her mom was murdered.so she's obviously going to have trust,guidance and emotional and mental issues.
  7. 2.her father emotionally and verbally abuses her. She didn't see him a lot before because he got hurt at work and was in the hospital so she lived with her best friend for a couple months, but just recently moved back in with her father like 3 weeks ago. I figure she pushed me away because she's not used to being treated good, despite how much she enjoys it, so she didn't know how to accept it.Both boyfriends she's had were not serious and they both treated her really bad, where as I treated her amazing and told her that I was scared of letting her get close to me and being vulnerable but that he was worth it and worth all my time and effort because I thought she was beautiful and she made me smile. She's the only girl I've ever let get close to me or opened up to.
  8. Her best friend told me she loved how I treated her and how I treat girls in general , and that I'm funny and sweet and etc.
  9. So around this point after I told her I loved her and and would always be there for her even if she spit in my face a thousand times and hurt me, because I knew that's not who she really is and I'm not gonna leave her alone like everyone else has.
  10. So I stopped talking to her about two months ago to distance from her,and do the distance thing,and in that time,about a month and a Half ago, she started liking all my posts and pictures on fb and Instagram, I'm assuming because she knows that's a way to get my attention,but she never Messaged me and I never Messaged her because I wanted her to initiate. She even commented on one of my statuses but never Messaged me. 4 days ago was the first day of school and my bro Brandon told her to talk to me , which I didn't consent to. She said "I don't think he likes me any more, as a friend or as a girlfriend. And it'll be awkward. I want to talk to him but yeah"
  11. In the hallway I was walking and she tapped me on the shoulder and was like "hey :)" and I was like "yo.."
  12.  
  13. J: how are you doing?
  14. Me: pretty good
  15. J:you seem sad
  16. Me: nah just mad
  17. J: why?
  18. Me: my mom πŸ˜’
  19. Her: *laughs and goes to class*
  20. And then she kept joining in on me and my bros Eddie and Brandon's convo in science class, and she kept laughing and smiling at all my jokes and she tried to talk to me again but I ignored her kinda. She was like "hi.."
  21. I was like "yo,what?"
  22. Her:what o:?
  23. Me:what?
  24. Her: nothing.
  25. And then on Wednesday we were talking about this girl Amaya who has a lips and she imitated the lips and said "hey Zach" to me and I was like "hi."
  26. And she keeps being in sad positions and shaking her foot anxiously and she keeps looking at me. And she asked if we wanted her to move when me and Brandon were talking. And then yesterday she kept staring at me and joined in our convo an laughed at my jokes.
  27. My friends think if I don't talk to her soon she'll stop missing me,or at least we think she misses me from her behavior. They think since I've been distancing to get her to miss me or appreciate me more, and she's talked to me , I got some of my goal. But I played it distant and uninterested and aloof, and they all think that was a bad play. She seems to like guys who don't care about her so I kinda want her to think I don't care or am uninterested but at the same time I don't want her to think I just don't give a shit about her or our friendship any more, especially since I told her id always be there for her.
  28. My cousin also told me to just act uninterested , distant , and don't pay her too much attention, never talk to her first, if she talks to me say hi or whatever but that's it,stick to myself.if she tries to have a conversation with me, give her 1-2 word answers and seem uninterested, don't give her a lot of details and just talk to other girls and she'll eventually come to me because girls want what they can't have, but that doesn't seem to be working. Or maybe it was working and I ignored her. Idk. She always seems sad in class when she's not talking to my bros,I'm as using because she knows I'm ignoring her because she knows my distance routine from the girl from before mallisa,I ignored the hell out of mallisa.so she knows I can go several months without talking to her.
  29. So I'm not sure if I should talk to her or just keep being distant and uninterested or aloof and ignore her,or never look at her. I'm not sure if the two months distance made her miss me and that's enough or if I should just continue being distant like my cousin said before. I don't want to push her away.
  30. And also if I choose to talk to her I'm not sure if I should be friendly or caudal and if I should talk to her in the one class we have together,give her a note in class and talk through notes or talk to her at her locker.or if I should message her on fb first, or if I should suprise her by talking to her in real life. I don't want to fuck up
  31. Her missing me by talking to her but I don't want to potentially push her away either if that's what my continued distancing act is doing.
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