Thread 110: Stories 61-71

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>Lavan
"32"
'88'
-JJ-
~Actarius~
~~~~

>So your species feeds itself off love, that's right?

"That is the short version of the last two hours of what I just said, yes."

'Ha! This guy's thicker than bricks!'

>Actually, I'm not thick at all.

'...Briiiiicks.'

-Don't be mean, not-worst-ling. Leave that to worst ling.-

"Quiet!"

>Oh? He's the worst changeling?

"N-"

-Yep! Totally is!-

~Are you trying to get me fired!?~

"It's working..."

>But wouldn't it be good not to work for the worst changeling?

"I'm not the worst changeling!"

>He said you were.

"CHANGELINGS LIE!"

'It is our thing.'

>Oh... are you lying now?

"NO!"

>Because lying about being the worst changeling makes sense.

"I'M NOT THE WORST CHANGELING!"

>Would you tell me if you were?

"I... huh."

'HA!'

"Sister, back me up!"

'He's not the worst changeling.'

"HA!"

>Then who is?

'The one who insisted we keep going into a terrible hellhole for the queen, killed herself like a coward a short distance from the end, and then got possessed by a mushroom spore she openly let take her over and use to nearly wipe out the world.'

"..."

-...-

~...Erm-~

>Wow, that does sound like the worst changeling!

'Glad you agree.'

-...I feel bad.-

"GOOD!"

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>29
"MM"
'Zecora'
[Trixie]
~~~~

>OH SHIT!

"OH SHIT!"

'OH SHIT, THIS IS IT!'

[Trixie doesn't think it's that bad.]

>'"..."'

[What?]

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 >Pommel
"Haymaker"
'LS'
[QS]
{SG}
~??~
~~~

>Fffffffff...

"Uh, boss? Do we... um..."

'Bail?'

"I was not going to say bail!"

[You should've said bail, then.]

"Oh come on!"

{Shouldn't have said that either. Repeat after me, bail.}

"We are not bailing!"

[So then you want to stay behind while we bail? Hold off the mob yourself?]

{Sniff... that's the most noble thing I've ever seen...}

[He's a real hero!]

'Erm... I guess we could just ask them to fly away? You know, like the princess did. Just now.'

>...

"Captain-"

~HI!~

'Oh, shit, hi Suckerpunch, wh-'

~WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?~

"...Come again?"

~THE MOB!~

[...Ohhhh shiiiiit.]

{You are out of the loop.}

~NO FUCKING SHIT!~

'Your marefriend is probably gonna get banned from Eqeustria.'

~She's-WAIT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!?~

"Because a changeling has been impersonating Princess Cadence."

~Oh... oh, shit... are they actually invading?~

"To do paperwork."

~...to do WHAT!?~

[Paperwork.]

~She fucking pretended to be someone else to do the shit that you can't FORCE most ponies to do!? FOR WHAT!?~

"Uhhh... we have no idea what she got out of it. Doesn't seem to be anything."

~...What fucking world am I in right now!?~

>We're staying put.

[...Come again, Captain?]

>We. Are staying. Put.

{...Er-}

>THATS AN ORDER!

"'[{~SIR YES SIR!~}]'"

>Good... also, if I slap the princess in the face with my formal letter of complaint, it's an accident.

"'[{~....SIR YES SIR!~}]'"

>That's my crew.

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NC
 >Pommel's thoughts
"Pommel"
'crowd'
[Chitania]
~~
>Stay strong Pommel, don't let this mob get you

"I need everyone to remain calm please! The princess will be back shortly I'm sure!"

[After a speech like that? HAH!]

>Okay Pommel, you've got this, you've faced down a Minotaur and an angry half-god, you've GOT THIS

'Where did she go!?'
'WHY ARE THESE CHANGELINGS STILL HERE'
'HEY WAIT, THAT CHANGELING WORKS FOR THE MAYOR, GET HIM!'

>oh shit oh shit!

"Haymaker! Quicksilver! Keep 29 safe!"

[Two guards against a lynch mob, brilliant idea, I'm just going to take the rest of the hive and leave, thanks]

"No"

The world froze in shock

[What was that? what are you going to do against me?]

>mouth why did you open

"I'm the best in the world, what are you going to do against ME?"

>Mouth stop talking

'oh shit he's making the big one angry, RUN!!'
'AHHHHHHHH PANIC GET AWAY FROM BIG ANGRY BUG HORSE'
'OH SHIT NOPE'

>not one more word mouth

Chitania leaned down and glared right into Pommel's eyes

[Okay]

>wat

"what?"

[I'll let you keep the changelings here for an hour, while I collect my daughter, when I come back, if any of them are hurt you'll have to answer to both of us]

"...Deal"

>Oh thank faust she's leaving

As the giant changeling stomped away, he only let out a sigh of relief and turned back to the mob.

There was no mob.

"...huh"

'who would have thought a guard would actually show some backbone'
'I LOST ANOTHER 20 BITS'
'PAY IT BACK IN FACEPUNCH'

Just the changelings

>You've got this

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 >AJ
~~~

The trees of Everfree blocked out the night sky as she stumbled along. She hadn't had a direction when she started, hadn't had a direction when she landed, and certainly didn't have a direction now. This was not about getting somewhere, only about not being somewhere.

She hadn't run back to Canterlot, where things were no doubt just as bad if not worse. Nothing she could say would fix it, nothing she could do would make it better. To be there was to hinder the work of everyone else who would no doubt do everything she wanted to do, but actually succeed... unlike her.

She couldn't go home. Couldn't look at her little sister like this. Couldn't let her know that her big sister who she so idolized was nothing but a failure that everyone hated. Couldn't look her Granny in the eye after all the work and faith proved to be for nothing. All those speeches, all that support were for nothing but to hold up a dumpster fire so it could set even more things ablaze when it should have died out long ago.

She couldn't go that way, or that way, or that way.

She was not here in Everfree out of choice. Merely, lack of alternatives. Running to the edge of the world and finding herself in the last corner, that was all.

Wandering, without aim, towards a destination that would hopefully take her off the edge, and let her float away.

>...no...

She did not find the edge of the world, as she had hoped.

She found something else.

The very last thing she had ever wanted to see, ever again.

>...Ya' gotta be fricken kidding me.

Even when she ran to the ends of the earth, she still found castles lying in wait at the end.

Despite the grumbling, and the complaining that followed soon after, she found herself moving towards it.

This castle had held answers before...

Maybe there was one last miracle lying in wait to fix this.

>Ah' bet there's paperwork in there too.

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OMAKE!
>Chitania
"???"
~~~~

>...Well, that was something. Alright, everyone! Come over here and we're going to your hive, wherever that is. Single file, and if anyone tries to stop you I will punch them.

"But are you suuuuuure you can't stay?"

>Yes. I am sure, disembodied voice. there is no staying.

"Are you SUUUUUUUURE?"

>Yes.

"Not even for a..... PARTY!?"

Streamers, loud noisemakers and confetti erupted from nowhere, and with it came the pink ball of fun every pony in Ponyland knew!

"Ohhhhh!~ don't go anywhere Chitty, we want you to stay right here! Don't go anywhere Chitty, even though everyone is in fear! Don't go anywhere Chitty, we want to bring you cheer! And if you will stay here, I will give you... beer?"

>...no.

"Rats. Oh well, you're boned!"

*BLASTS OFF!*

>...reasonable pony that one.

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OMAKE!
>Fluttershy
"7"
~~~

"Heh."

>What?

"You're just funny when you blush."

>How can I not!? With you talking about such... lewd things!

"It's what it is."

>B-but... holding hooves?

"Obviously I- wait what?"

>You hold h-hooves with her, just like in my japaneighs books!

"..."

>Don't deny it!

"...I... I don't... what!?"

>You hold hooves with her, the lewdest thing you can do!

"I actually don't."

>Oh, phew! So you've only known her for six years or so?

"I feel like we're having a different discussion here"

>By the way, is she your childhood friend?

"What? No! I just met her."

>...Poor girl, those never win.

"Win what!?"

>Just be gentle when you hold hooves with her.

"...You know, I wish the fact that you just grew a tree made of candy corn and looked into my soul with a dead eye of fire was the weirdest thing that happened to me today with you."

>Just take responsibility!

"Now, I don't even register it."

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OMAKE!
>AJ
"???"
~~~~

>Maybe there is a miracle in here, lying in wait...

"MOO!"

>WHAT IN TARNATION!?

"Moo!"

>What the heck is there a cow in here!?

"Moo."

>Ah' don't care what side o' the equator yer' on, cows are cows!

"MOO!"

>Ah' can be racist against you, yer' a cow! You ain't got no soul!

"MOOO!?"

>YOU HEARD ME!

"MOOOO!"

>YOU WANNA GO HEFFER!?

"MOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

>BRING IT OOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN!

~~~~~

>And that's when Ah' found out he was a bull, and long story short, a couple months later ya'll came out!

'...'

>...Yep.

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OMAKE!
>Ponyville
"Chitania"
'Pinkie'
~~

>Soooo... riot?

"..."

>No riot?

"..."

>Do something?

"..."

>Anything?

"..."

>...Please do something.

"I could play an instrument."

'Oh! That's a great idea! You're pretty good with all things classical, maybe this is just what everyone needs to calm down and-what the heck are you doing with that axe?'

"Anybody have any requests?"

~Hells bell!~

"You got it."

'DANG IT CHEERILEEE!"

DONNNGGGGG!

"HELLLS BEEEEELLLLLLLSSSS!"

'I thought you couldn't play guitar!'

"BUT I CAN WIELD AN AXE!"

'...Shoot, okay, fair enough.'

>This is actually way better than what I wanted.

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Omuku!
>SA
"Sunset"
'???'
~~~

"Ooooo~hoo hooooo... yes. Momma needed that."

>You happy with your screentime?

"With my what?... Oh!. OH! Yeah, cool, even had a nice moment with AJ up there at the top and got to be in the big confrontation, that was neat. Haven't been in one of those since... nevermind. Good job!"

>Isn't... isn't this what you wanted? Why we just did all that?

"Buddy, I'm going to be really honest with you, maybe I would've given you some mouth action if that's all I wanted."

>...So-

She reached up, and poked the stallion on her back right in the cheek.

The one on his head.

"So I am super glad I can't get pregnant."

>...Marvelous. You dropped the disguise during, you know.

"Did I? Certainly didn't slow you down."

>...

"Sooooo, ready to go again? You're still on there. I am so game, if you want, you can just-"

He groaned, rolling off her before she could say anymore.

"Rats. Oh well... thanks for the fun!"

>Yeah... 'fun'.

In a flash, she vanished, teleporting away.

>...Well, at least it can't get any worse-

SLAM!

>Son of a- WHAT THE FUCK!?

'Ohhhhh no, I'm not getting forgotten again!'

>...GWENDOLYN!?

The gryphon nodded, pulling out a massive sword and holding it over her head.

'That's right! I'm finally out of that never ending fucking Kingsmoot, and I'm not getting forgotten again! I'm getting screentime, damn it!'

>Aren't you married!?

'Aren't you?'

>...Touche. Guess we're both pretty OOC.

'Now, lay back, PRINCE OF THE EMPIRE... which makes no sense, for I shall have screentime!'

>...Why the swords?

'Because we are about to mate.'

>Since when does that involve swords?

'...You have so much to learn.'

>Wha-

'PREPARE YOURSELF! SCREEEE!'

>I WANNA GO BACK TO CANON WHERE I NEVER GET LAAAIIIIIHAIHAIIID! OOF!

'GET READY!'

>WHYYYY!?

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OMAKE
>Idris
"56"
~~

"Hey king catbutt, what'cha doing over here?"

>My wife is trying to barter for our screentime.

"No kidding? How's she doing that?"

>Honestly? I've no idea. She told me to stay behind, pulled out her sword and went in there. She must be engaging him in battle for the time.

"Huh. Why'd she leave you out here?"

>I suppose to make it fair one on one combat? No spectators on either side either, so it's even.

"Guess that makes sense."

>That prince must be a devil of a fighter, though! I've heard banging and grunts and things being broken for the last two hours now!

"Wow! Queen Catbutt is going to need a heck of a massage after this one."

>I'll say, I heard someone banging up against the wall so hard the thing rattled. He must have gotten the better of her for a second there, she was screeching rather loudly, but she turned it around it sounds like. He's screamed quite a bit.

"She's the best!"

>Very skilled, yes.

"..."

>...

"..."

>...Who the fuck are you anyway?

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