I'm Thinking of Ending Things (2020) EN

0
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
INDOXXI
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1
00:00:51,166 --> 00:00:53,333
I'm thinking of ending things.

2
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Once this thought arrives, it stays.

3
00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:59,166
It sticks, it lingers, it dominates.

4
00:00:59,875 --> 00:01:02,125
There's not much I can do about it,
trust me.

5
00:01:02,208 --> 00:01:03,250
It doesn't go away.

6
00:01:03,875 --> 00:01:05,708
It's there whether I like it or not.

7
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It's there when I eat, when I go to bed.
It's there when I sleep, when I wake up.

8
00:01:09,875 --> 00:01:11,500
It's always there. Always.

9
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I haven't been thinking about it for long.

10
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The idea is new.

11
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But it feels old at the same time.

12
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When did it start?

13
00:01:21,541 --> 00:01:23,291
What if this thought
wasn't conceived by me,

14
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but planted in my mind, pre-developed.

15
00:01:26,416 --> 00:01:28,708
Is an unspoken idea unoriginal?

16
00:01:29,458 --> 00:01:31,458
Maybe I've actually known all along.

17
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,333
Maybe this is how
it was always going to end.

18
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Jake once said,

19
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"Sometimes the thought
is closer to the truth,

20
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to reality, than an action.

21
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You can say anything, you can do anything,
but you can't fake a thought."

22
00:01:48,750 --> 00:01:50,375
The road is mostly empty.

23
00:01:51,666 --> 00:01:54,375
It's quiet around here. Vacant.

24
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More so than anticipated.

25
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So much to see, but not many people.

26
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Not many buildings or houses.

27
00:02:00,416 --> 00:02:01,458
Sky.

28
00:02:01,541 --> 00:02:03,500
Trees, fields, fences.

29
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The road and its gravel shoulders.

30
00:02:07,958 --> 00:02:10,791
"You wanna stop for a coffee?"
"I think I'm OK I say.

31
00:02:11,625 --> 00:02:14,458
"Last chance we'll have
before it becomes really farm-y."

32
00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:18,250
I'm visiting Jake's parents
for the first time.

33
00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:20,291
Or I will be when we arrive.

34
00:02:20,375 --> 00:02:22,250
Jake, my boyfriend.

35
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He hasn't been my boyfriend for very long.

36
00:02:24,583 --> 00:02:25,791
It's our first trip together.

37
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Our first long drive.

38
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So it's weird that I'm feeling nostalgic,

39
00:02:30,291 --> 00:02:32,666
about our relationship,
about him, about us.

40
00:02:34,416 --> 00:02:37,583
I should be excited,
looking forward to the first of many.

41
00:02:37,666 --> 00:02:39,750
But I'm not. Not at all.

42
00:02:41,416 --> 00:02:44,458
I've seen more barns on this drive
than I've seen in years.

43
00:02:44,541 --> 00:02:45,666
Maybe in my life.

44
00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:47,625
They all look the same.

45
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Some cows, some horses, sheep, fields.

46
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And barns.

47
00:02:52,541 --> 00:02:53,750
Such a big sky.

48
00:02:56,958 --> 00:02:59,333
Feels like I've known Jake
longer than I have.

49
00:03:00,250 --> 00:03:01,291
What has it been?

50
00:03:02,041 --> 00:03:03,416
Oh, a month?

51
00:03:03,875 --> 00:03:05,250
Six weeks, maybe seven.

52
00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:08,250
I should know exactly.
I'll say seven weeks.

53
00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:16,083
The assumptions are right.
I can feel my fear growing. Now is the...

54
00:03:16,166 --> 00:03:20,208
We have a real connection.
A rare and intense attachment.

55
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I've never experienced anything like it.

56
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…growing. Now is the time
for the answer. Just one question.

57
00:03:28,916 --> 00:03:30,416
One question to answer.

58
00:03:36,291 --> 00:03:37,250
It's snowing!

59
00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:38,791
Winter is comin' in!

60
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Yep.

61
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Look at the sky.

62
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I'm thinking of ending things.

63
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- Huh?
- What?

64
00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:23,375
Did you say something?

65
00:04:23,708 --> 00:04:25,625
No, I don't think so.

66
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Weird.

67
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Yeah.

68
00:04:29,958 --> 00:04:31,916
I'm thinking of ending things.

69
00:04:32,916 --> 00:04:35,250
What's the point in carrying on like this?

70
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I know what it is, where it's going.

71
00:04:37,791 --> 00:04:39,875
Jake is a nice guy, but...

72
00:04:40,666 --> 00:04:43,500
it's not going anywhere.
I've known this for a while now.

73
00:04:44,375 --> 00:04:47,833
Maybe it's human nature to keep going
in the face of this knowledge.

74
00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:50,666
The alternative requires too much energy.

75
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:51,958
Decisiveness.

76
00:04:52,666 --> 00:04:53,500
Hmm.

77
00:04:53,583 --> 00:04:56,500
People stay in unhealthy relationships
because it's easier.

78
00:04:56,916 --> 00:04:58,125
Basic physics.

79
00:04:58,583 --> 00:05:00,791
An object in motion
tends to stay in motion.

80
00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:04,166
People tend to stay in relationships
past their expiration date.

81
00:05:04,583 --> 00:05:06,541
It's Newton's first law of emotion.

82
00:05:06,625 --> 00:05:09,583
Do you want to stop for a coffee

83
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or something, a... a snack?

84
00:05:11,750 --> 00:05:13,708
It's... it's going to get pretty farm-y

85
00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:16,000
- pretty fast now.
- No, no, no, I'm... I'm fine.

86
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,541
- You sure?
- Mm-hmm.

87
00:05:17,625 --> 00:05:20,083
Don't want to spoil my appetite.

88
00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:23,375
OK

89
00:05:44,375 --> 00:05:47,833
You know, my mother hasn't been
feeling well recently.

90
00:05:47,916 --> 00:05:49,041
- Oh.
- So...

91
00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:49,958
I'm sorry.

92
00:05:50,041 --> 00:05:53,333
I'm just saying
that there might not be much of a spread,

93
00:05:53,416 --> 00:05:56,041
that she might not be up to
a lot of cooking.

94
00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:56,958
Um...

95
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,458
- She hasn't been well.
- What's going on with her?

96
00:06:01,541 --> 00:06:04,916
Just saying, if you want
to stop for a snack

97
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:09,250
or anything like that,
it would probably be fine...

98
00:06:09,708 --> 00:06:10,625
um...

99
00:06:12,041 --> 00:06:13,541
in terms of appetite spoiling.

100
00:06:13,625 --> 00:06:16,583
It might even be advisable.

101
00:06:16,666 --> 00:06:17,500
I'm fine.

102
00:06:17,583 --> 00:06:18,416
OK

103
00:06:26,375 --> 00:06:28,708
Come, join me, my friends,

104
00:06:28,791 --> 00:06:31,208
and accept Jesus into your hearts,

105
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,958
for as Isaiah 1:18 tells us,

106
00:06:34,041 --> 00:06:36,166
though your sins be as scarlet,

107
00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:38,708
they shall be as white as snow.

108
00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:41,916
They really are looking forward
to meeting you.

109
00:06:42,708 --> 00:06:45,583
I don't want to give you
the wrong impression.

110
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:48,333
- Aww, that's nice to hear.
- ...a lot about you.

111
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:49,791
Yeah, I-I-I'm... I'm...

112
00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:52,208
I'm really looking forward
to meeting them too.

113
00:06:54,416 --> 00:06:57,541
Maybe it's unfair of me
to be going on this trip with Jake…

114
00:06:57,958 --> 00:07:01,125
When I'm so uncertain about our future,
our lack of it.

115
00:07:02,375 --> 00:07:04,416
After all, going to meet
your boyfriend's parents

116
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:06,625
is the proverbial next step, isn't it?

117
00:07:06,708 --> 00:07:09,625
The truth is, I haven't even
told my parents I'm dating Jake.

118
00:07:09,708 --> 00:07:12,458
I've never mentioned him,
and I don't think I ever will.

119
00:07:12,791 --> 00:07:14,458
She hasn't been feeling well.

120
00:07:14,541 --> 00:07:17,791
Getting old ain't for sissies,
as Bette Davis said.

121
00:07:17,875 --> 00:07:19,208
True, although...

122
00:07:19,291 --> 00:07:23,625
one might just take issue
with her use of the word sissy...

123
00:07:23,708 --> 00:07:26,500
- Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yes, sir.
- ...as a pejorative.

124
00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:28,583
It was a different time.

125
00:07:29,875 --> 00:07:31,875
I guess it's curiosity.

126
00:07:33,416 --> 00:07:35,125
Jake is certainly hard to figure.

127
00:07:36,375 --> 00:07:38,500
Maybe it's like a window into his origins.

128
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:41,333
The child being father of the man and all.

129
00:07:41,416 --> 00:07:43,250
Are you a fan of Wordsworth, then?

130
00:07:43,791 --> 00:07:46,083
- Wordsworth?
- William Wordsworth, the poet?

131
00:07:47,125 --> 00:07:48,333
Um...

132
00:07:48,875 --> 00:07:51,250
Not... I'm not familiar, really.

133
00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:52,333
Why do you ask?

134
00:07:52,416 --> 00:07:55,541
Just thinking about him for some reason.

135
00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:57,500
He popped into my head.

136
00:07:58,833 --> 00:08:04,375
His poem Ode: Intimations of Immortality
from Recollections of Early Childhood.

137
00:08:04,458 --> 00:08:06,166
Jesus, that's the title?

138
00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:08,708
- Sounds like an entire poem.
- Well…

139
00:08:15,166 --> 00:08:17,916
- I'm thinking of...
- Get your words' worth with Wordsworth.

140
00:08:18,333 --> 00:08:19,750
Fired.

141
00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:24,166
Do you want to hear how it starts?

142
00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:26,708
- It's just that the...
- I'm not a metaphorical-type gal.

143
00:08:26,791 --> 00:08:28,666
It's just that that one speaks to me.

144
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:34,875
Uh, incidentally, Wordsworth wrote
a series of poems to a woman named Lucy.

145
00:08:37,291 --> 00:08:38,333
Like me!

146
00:08:38,416 --> 00:08:41,791
A beautiful, idealized woman

147
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:44,041
who dies young.

148
00:08:44,125 --> 00:08:45,208
Oh, yikes.

149
00:08:46,166 --> 00:08:49,000
Well, the comparison goes
only as far as your name.

150
00:08:49,083 --> 00:08:49,916
Phew.

151
00:08:50,958 --> 00:08:53,708
And that you are ideal,

152
00:08:53,791 --> 00:08:56,208
- of course.
- Yeah, yeah.

153
00:08:56,291 --> 00:08:59,291
Ah, that's very sweet.

154
00:09:04,375 --> 00:09:05,458
It's just…

155
00:09:11,208 --> 00:09:12,083
Who's that?

156
00:09:12,166 --> 00:09:13,708
Uh, it's just a friend.

157
00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:15,541
I'm not gonna answer.

158
00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:17,916
- You can, I don't mind. You should.
- Eh, it's OK

159
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,416
- It's all right.
- I don't mind.

160
00:09:28,208 --> 00:09:29,833
That's odd. Did you see that swing set

161
00:09:29,916 --> 00:09:31,208
- we just passed?
- What swing set?

162
00:09:31,291 --> 00:09:33,208
It was weird.
It was this beautiful new swing set

163
00:09:33,291 --> 00:09:34,916
in front of an abandoned house.

164
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,166
- No. I missed it.
- What?

165
00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:38,375
I didn't see it.

166
00:09:38,458 --> 00:09:39,791
Why would that be there?

167
00:09:39,875 --> 00:09:41,958
I mean, clearly no one's lived
in that house for years.

168
00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:44,875
Someone's moving in, and...

169
00:09:45,416 --> 00:09:48,750
they brought the swing set first?
That's all I can think of.

170
00:09:50,875 --> 00:09:52,000
- I...
- That seems

171
00:09:52,083 --> 00:09:53,875
like an unlikely sequence of events.

172
00:09:56,208 --> 00:09:59,041
You know, like,
to have something

173
00:09:59,125 --> 00:10:02,625
to entertain the kids while the parents
are getting the house ready.

174
00:10:04,958 --> 00:10:05,791
Odd.

175
00:10:06,416 --> 00:10:07,416
They're saying, uh,

176
00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:10,083
- there might be a fair amount of snow.
- Yeah?

177
00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:11,666
They're predicting it.

178
00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:14,208
Do you think we should maybe turn back?

179
00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:17,291
I've got a fair amount of...

180
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,916
well, a lot, actually,
of work to do tomorrow.

181
00:10:21,416 --> 00:10:22,916
I need to get home tonight so that I...

182
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:26,083
I think we'll be OK.
I've got tire chains in the trunk.

183
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,041
- What are you working on?
- Oh, I have a paper due Wednesday.

184
00:10:33,125 --> 00:10:34,041
Which one is this?

185
00:10:34,125 --> 00:10:36,333
Susceptibility to rabies infection

186
00:10:36,416 --> 00:10:38,625
in the sensory dorsal
root ganglia neurons.

187
00:10:38,708 --> 00:10:40,791
The trigeminal ganglia as well, right?

188
00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:43,125
Yes, exactly.

189
00:10:45,291 --> 00:10:46,208
Point for me.

190
00:10:47,875 --> 00:10:51,666
Interested in and knowledgeable
about my girlfriend's work.

191
00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:53,000
Point for Jake.

192
00:10:55,166 --> 00:10:56,416
- How's the paper going?
- Oh...

193
00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:59,125
It's nowhere actually.

194
00:10:59,541 --> 00:11:02,708
I really do need to get back tonight,
deal with it first thing.

195
00:11:02,791 --> 00:11:03,750
I'll get you home!

196
00:11:04,708 --> 00:11:05,541
Chains.

197
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:06,708
Chains.

198
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,625
Yeah, I do like Jake.

199
00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:11,250
And he's educated.

200
00:11:11,666 --> 00:11:15,041
Our fields are different,
but he's curious and keeps up.

201
00:11:15,125 --> 00:11:17,500
That's a good thing.
It's in the pro column.

202
00:11:17,583 --> 00:11:20,083
And he's cute in his awkward way.

203
00:11:20,875 --> 00:11:22,541
We're interesting together too.

204
00:11:22,958 --> 00:11:25,208
People look at us when we're together.

205
00:11:25,291 --> 00:11:27,833
"Who's that couple?"
I don't get looked at alone.

206
00:11:28,291 --> 00:11:31,708
And Jake doesn't either.
Jake tells me that he feels it.

207
00:11:32,416 --> 00:11:33,750
Feels invisible.

208
00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:42,083
You want to listen to something?

209
00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:46,833
Sorry, uh, what?

210
00:11:49,791 --> 00:11:50,666
Um...

211
00:11:51,041 --> 00:11:56,833
I asked if you want to listen
to some music?

212
00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:58,291
Oh, yeah, sure.

213
00:12:03,958 --> 00:12:06,666
When you get out this far,
there's not much signal.

214
00:12:13,791 --> 00:12:15,333
It's an odd song.

215
00:12:15,958 --> 00:12:17,208
To...

216
00:12:18,791 --> 00:12:22,083
- Out here in... in the middle of nothing.
- It's from Oklahoma!

217
00:12:22,166 --> 00:12:23,125
The musical.

218
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,916
I didn't know you were a fan
of musical theater.

219
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,583
Well, I'm not, really.

220
00:12:27,666 --> 00:12:30,333
Anyway, I just know a few musicals.Uh...

221
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:34,291
Oklahoma, Phantom,
Carousel, South Pacific,

222
00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:36,416
Guys and Dolls, Flower Drum Song...

223
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:37,458
Wicked...

224
00:12:37,541 --> 00:12:40,708
How to Succeed in Business
Without Really Trying, Music Man,

225
00:12:40,791 --> 00:12:42,541
Pajama Game, Cabaret,

226
00:12:43,375 --> 00:12:46,583
The Lion King, Grease,
The King and I, The Sound of Music,

227
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:48,666
Pal Joey, Charley's Aunt, On The Town,

228
00:12:48,750 --> 00:12:50,000
My Fair Lady.

229
00:12:50,083 --> 00:12:52,416
But I know Oklahoma best, I guess.

230
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:54,250
They do it every few years...

231
00:12:55,291 --> 00:12:57,000
For obvious reasons.

232
00:12:57,750 --> 00:12:59,458
Wait, who does it every few years?

233
00:12:59,541 --> 00:13:02,041
Sometimes I see kids

234
00:13:02,125 --> 00:13:05,458
who were in past productions, you know,

235
00:13:05,916 --> 00:13:09,416
um, at the supermarket,
working at stores in town.

236
00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:12,875
Older now.

237
00:13:40,583 --> 00:13:42,916
This girl seems healthy enough
in her attitude.

238
00:13:43,916 --> 00:13:44,750
Good for her.

239
00:13:44,833 --> 00:13:48,208
She... she's protesting too much,
it turns out.

240
00:13:48,291 --> 00:13:49,500
We've all been there.

241
00:13:51,833 --> 00:13:52,666
Where?

242
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,166
Protesting too much
how OK everything is.

243
00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:58,291
That's why I like road trips.

244
00:13:58,375 --> 00:14:00,916
It's good to remind yourself

245
00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:05,375
the world's... larger
than the inside of your own head.

246
00:14:05,458 --> 00:14:06,875
- You know?
- Mm-hmm.

247
00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:09,000
Perspective.

248
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:10,083
Perspective.

249
00:14:11,416 --> 00:14:13,291
It is beautiful out here.

250
00:14:13,875 --> 00:14:15,958
In a bleak, heartbroken kind of way.

251
00:14:18,666 --> 00:14:20,500
What was the last road trip I took?

252
00:14:22,708 --> 00:14:23,583
Hmm...

253
00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:25,875
I should remember, but I don't.

254
00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:28,750
Nothing's coming to mind.

255
00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:31,500
It's odd. I'm foggy
about so many things lately.

256
00:14:31,583 --> 00:14:33,458
Do you like this type of landscape?

257
00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:34,375
Mmm.

258
00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:35,666
Yeah, it's beautiful.

259
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:36,791
It's melancholy.

260
00:14:37,208 --> 00:14:38,625
I do like that.

261
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,333
It's the poet in you.

262
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:44,291
Yeah.

263
00:14:44,833 --> 00:14:46,000
I suppose so.

264
00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:48,583
Maybe, I don't know.

265
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,708
You been working on anything?

266
00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:56,875
Uh, I-I...

267
00:14:56,958 --> 00:14:58,416
I just finished something.

268
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:00,500
Yeah. I don't... I don't know.

269
00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:02,625
- Can I hear it?
- You can read it.

270
00:15:02,708 --> 00:15:06,625
I like to hear them in your voice,
and you're so good at reciting them.

271
00:15:06,708 --> 00:15:08,166
Not really, but thanks.

272
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:11,375
It'll go with the poetic scenery.

273
00:15:11,458 --> 00:15:13,208
I don't know, Jake,
I just don't...

274
00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:15,666
I don't really feel much like performing

275
00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:17,583
- right now.
- Come on, it'll pass the time.

276
00:15:19,291 --> 00:15:21,125
I don't want you to get bored.

277
00:15:23,416 --> 00:15:24,833
It's called "Bonedog."

278
00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:31,958
"Coming home is terrible...

279
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:35,541
whether the dogs lick your face or not,

280
00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:37,250
whether you have...

281
00:15:38,666 --> 00:15:39,625
A wife,

282
00:15:39,708 --> 00:15:44,416
or just a wife-shaped loneliness
waiting for you.

283
00:15:44,916 --> 00:15:46,833
Coming home is terribly lonely...

284
00:15:47,875 --> 00:15:52,083
so that you think
of the oppressive barometric pressure

285
00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:54,791
back where you have just come from
with fondness,

286
00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:57,166
because everything's worse
once you're home.

287
00:15:57,625 --> 00:16:01,041
You think of the vermin
clinging to the grass stalks...

288
00:16:02,291 --> 00:16:04,083
long hours on the road,

289
00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:07,375
roadside assistance and ice creams,

290
00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:10,666
and the peculiar shapes of certain clouds

291
00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:11,916
and silences

292
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:15,000
with longing,
because you did not want to return.

293
00:16:15,083 --> 00:16:16,208
Coming home is...

294
00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:20,083
just awful.

295
00:16:21,708 --> 00:16:24,916
And the home-style silences and clouds

296
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,958
contribute to nothing
but the general malaise.

297
00:16:28,041 --> 00:16:31,416
Clouds, such as they are,
are in fact suspect

298
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:34,875
and made from a different material
than those you left behind.

299
00:16:34,958 --> 00:16:39,125
You yourself were cut
from a different cloudy cloth,

300
00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:41,333
returned,

301
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,083
remaindered,

302
00:16:45,333 --> 00:16:46,875
ill-met by moonlight,

303
00:16:46,958 --> 00:16:48,333
unhappy to be back,

304
00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:50,791
slack in all the wrong spots.

305
00:16:50,875 --> 00:16:52,541
Seamy suit of clothes,

306
00:16:52,625 --> 00:16:54,833
dishrag-ratty, worn.

307
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,166
You return home,

308
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:01,458
moon-landed,

309
00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:03,750
foreign.

310
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:08,125
The Earth's gravitational pull,

311
00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:09,958
an effort now redoubled...

312
00:17:11,458 --> 00:17:13,875
Dragging your shoelaces loose...

313
00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:16,125
And your shoulders,

314
00:17:17,666 --> 00:17:20,958
etching deeper the stanza of worry
on your forehead.

315
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,875
You return home deepened,

316
00:17:24,583 --> 00:17:27,083
a parched well linked to tomorrow

317
00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:29,625
by a frail strand of...

318
00:17:31,458 --> 00:17:32,333
anyway.

319
00:17:37,666 --> 00:17:40,958
You sigh into the onslaught
of identical days,

320
00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:45,041
one might as well, at a time.

321
00:17:47,958 --> 00:17:48,791
Well...

322
00:17:50,083 --> 00:17:50,958
anyway,

323
00:17:51,916 --> 00:17:52,875
you're back.

324
00:17:54,375 --> 00:17:58,166
The sun goes up and down
like a tired whore,

325
00:17:59,375 --> 00:18:05,250
the weather immobile like a broken limb
while you just keep getting older.

326
00:18:05,708 --> 00:18:10,416
Nothing moves, but the shifting tides
of salt in your body.

327
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:12,083
Your vision blears,

328
00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:14,250
you carry your weather with you;

329
00:18:14,708 --> 00:18:16,208
the big, blue whale;

330
00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:19,166
a skeletal darkness.

331
00:18:22,875 --> 00:18:24,250
You come back

332
00:18:25,416 --> 00:18:26,791
with X-ray vision...

333
00:18:29,541 --> 00:18:31,500
your eyes have become a hunger.

334
00:18:32,666 --> 00:18:36,000
You come home with your mutant gifts

335
00:18:37,375 --> 00:18:38,791
to a house of bone.

336
00:18:42,083 --> 00:18:43,583
Everything you see now,

337
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,000
all of it...

338
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:48,375
bone."

339
00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:53,541
Wow.

340
00:18:54,208 --> 00:18:56,833
Well, wow is an all-purpose exclamation.

341
00:18:56,916 --> 00:18:58,583
I just realized that.

342
00:19:00,625 --> 00:19:01,833
It might be... It can...

343
00:19:03,458 --> 00:19:05,333
It can mean you... you loved it,

344
00:19:05,416 --> 00:19:08,208
or it can mean there are no words
to describe how...

345
00:19:08,291 --> 00:19:09,833
...how rubbish it is.

346
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,083
I love it.

347
00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:13,500
I love it. It's amazing.

348
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:16,791
It's... it's like...

349
00:19:17,708 --> 00:19:19,375
It's like you wrote it about me.

350
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:20,666
Oh, you know, I-I-I...

351
00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:24,291
I guess that's what one hopes for
when writing a poem.

352
00:19:25,375 --> 00:19:26,541
What's that?

353
00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:29,791
Some universality in the specific,
I don't know.

354
00:19:29,875 --> 00:19:31,541
It's like you wrote it about me.

355
00:19:34,041 --> 00:19:36,250
I'm thinking of ending things.

356
00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:37,791
Jake is really great.

357
00:19:37,875 --> 00:19:39,083
He's really sweet.

358
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:40,166
He's sensitive,

359
00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:42,125
and he listens to me, and he's smart.

360
00:19:42,208 --> 00:19:44,250
But there's just something...

361
00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:45,333
Ineffable.

362
00:19:45,666 --> 00:19:48,291
Profoundly, unutterably,
un-fixably wrong here.

363
00:19:48,375 --> 00:19:50,708
-Are you OK
-Yeah.

364
00:19:50,791 --> 00:19:52,625
You just seem sort of far away is all.

365
00:19:52,708 --> 00:19:54,500
I'm... just thinking.

366
00:19:54,916 --> 00:19:56,666
About what?

367
00:19:57,916 --> 00:19:59,333
Uh...

368
00:19:59,416 --> 00:20:01,625
I don't know, just...

369
00:20:02,125 --> 00:20:03,666
Vague in my head stuff.

370
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:05,208
Vague in your head stuff.

371
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,208
I guess I was thinking about time.

372
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:09,666
- Really?
- Yeah.

373
00:20:11,666 --> 00:20:14,333
Like we're on a train
and it takes us where it takes us.

374
00:20:14,416 --> 00:20:16,500
There's no veering off,
there's no side trips,

375
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,750
and like Mussolini's train,
it runs on time.

376
00:20:18,833 --> 00:20:21,541
But that's not really true
about Mussolini and trains.

377
00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:24,791
The improvements
in the railway system preceded him.

378
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:26,666
He just took the credit.

379
00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:29,500
And even still,
they didn't always run on time.

380
00:20:29,583 --> 00:20:31,666
I wasn't really talking
about Mussolini's train...

381
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:34,166
And anyway, you...
you can always jump off a train.

382
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:35,250
In movies.

383
00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:39,833
In real life, you'll probably die
jumping from a moving train.

384
00:20:42,291 --> 00:20:44,125
That's... that's very true.

385
00:20:44,208 --> 00:20:47,583
I suppose I watch too many movies.

386
00:20:48,083 --> 00:20:49,750
Hmm. Everybody does.

387
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:51,375
Societal malady.

388
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:54,416
Fill my brain with lies
to pass the time,

389
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,333
in the blink of an eye,

390
00:20:57,416 --> 00:21:01,458
and an eye blink
in excruciatingly slow motion.

391
00:21:01,541 --> 00:21:03,666
It's like the rabies virus,

392
00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:06,625
attaching itself to our ganglia,

393
00:21:06,708 --> 00:21:09,041
changing us into itself.

394
00:21:09,416 --> 00:21:10,708
Viruses are monstrous.

395
00:21:10,791 --> 00:21:12,375
Everything wants to live, Jake.

396
00:21:14,416 --> 00:21:16,791
Viruses are just one more example
of everything.

397
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:17,875
But...

398
00:21:17,958 --> 00:21:21,166
Even fake, crappy movie ideas
want to live.

399
00:21:21,250 --> 00:21:22,958
Like, they grow in your brain,

400
00:21:23,458 --> 00:21:25,333
replacing real ideas.

401
00:21:25,791 --> 00:21:27,250
That's what makes them dangerous.

402
00:21:27,333 --> 00:21:29,041
But, did you know...

403
00:21:29,833 --> 00:21:32,375
there are insects that blow themselves up?

404
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:33,833
- Yes.
- Not everything wants to live.

405
00:21:33,916 --> 00:21:35,666
There are certain ants, certain aphids.

406
00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:37,125
For the good of their community.

407
00:21:37,208 --> 00:21:38,875
There are suicide bombers.

408
00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:46,125
Come...

409
00:21:47,208 --> 00:21:48,041
join me.

410
00:21:49,625 --> 00:21:51,583
So not everything wants to live.

411
00:21:53,708 --> 00:21:54,541
Right?

412
00:21:56,291 --> 00:21:58,208
True. Well, they...

413
00:21:58,291 --> 00:22:00,083
they want their communities to live.

414
00:22:00,166 --> 00:22:02,416
Which is sort of like themselves,
writ large.

415
00:22:04,208 --> 00:22:07,000
Anyway, we don't really know
if they want anything.

416
00:22:07,583 --> 00:22:12,083
It's just most likely
how they're programmed.

417
00:22:12,166 --> 00:22:14,000
Maybe we're all programmed, right?

418
00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:25,125
And now we're both dead.

419
00:22:25,208 --> 00:22:26,458
Ta-da!

420
00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:55,875
So, uh, I'm not... I'm not ready to go in.

421
00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:58,541
I-I need to stretch my legs, long legs.

422
00:22:59,333 --> 00:23:00,250
Long drive.

423
00:23:00,708 --> 00:23:02,750
What? What, isn't that rude?

424
00:23:02,833 --> 00:23:05,500
She clearly knows we're here.
We've been waving at each other for...

425
00:23:05,583 --> 00:23:06,666
quite a long time.

426
00:23:06,750 --> 00:23:09,416
They know I like to stretch my legs.
Come on, I'll show you around.

427
00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:12,250
Jake, I don't know,
it's... it's... it's... it's cold

428
00:23:12,333 --> 00:23:14,083
- and it's getting dark.
- Come on.

429
00:23:14,166 --> 00:23:16,250
Come on, I'll give you the abridged tour.

430
00:23:31,416 --> 00:23:32,666
Maybe, we'll...

431
00:23:33,208 --> 00:23:34,666
come back in the spring,

432
00:23:34,750 --> 00:23:38,583
and we can lie out here
and look up at the universe.

433
00:23:44,916 --> 00:23:46,166
The sheep.

434
00:23:52,416 --> 00:23:54,250
Let's say hi.

435
00:23:54,333 --> 00:23:56,375
- Hi, sheep.
- Hi, sheep.

436
00:23:57,583 --> 00:24:00,166
There is something
dreary and sad in here.

437
00:24:00,250 --> 00:24:01,416
And it smells.

438
00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:03,666
I wonder what it must be like
to be a sheep.

439
00:24:03,750 --> 00:24:07,666
Spend one's entire life in this miserable,
smelly place doing nothing.

440
00:24:07,750 --> 00:24:09,791
Eating, shitting, sleeping...

441
00:24:09,875 --> 00:24:12,250
- over and over.
- Well, there you have it.

442
00:24:13,250 --> 00:24:14,625
The sheep.

443
00:24:14,708 --> 00:24:16,833
- What happened to the lambs?
- What?

444
00:24:16,916 --> 00:24:18,291
What will happen...

445
00:24:18,375 --> 00:24:21,208
I don't know what you're asking me.
They're already dead, so wh...

446
00:24:21,291 --> 00:24:23,666
what else can happen to them?

447
00:24:23,750 --> 00:24:27,500
- Well, I mean, will they be buried?
- Probably be burned

448
00:24:27,583 --> 00:24:29,041
come spring.

449
00:24:29,125 --> 00:24:31,666
But they're frozen solid for now,
so they're fine.

450
00:24:33,625 --> 00:24:34,583
No worries.

451
00:24:36,625 --> 00:24:39,625
Come on, I'll show you the... the old pen
where we used to keep the pigs.

452
00:24:39,708 --> 00:24:42,041
They had to put them down.

453
00:24:42,125 --> 00:24:45,416
- That's too bad.
- Rotten situation, the pigs.

454
00:24:45,833 --> 00:24:49,041
Life isn't always pretty on a farm.
Something you should know.

455
00:24:53,208 --> 00:24:55,458
So what... what happened to them?

456
00:24:55,541 --> 00:24:56,958
To the pigs?

457
00:25:01,416 --> 00:25:03,333
Forget it. Uh, I don't think
you'd like the story.

458
00:25:03,416 --> 00:25:05,541
Can't do that. You have to tell me now.

459
00:25:05,625 --> 00:25:07,083
- Yeah?
- Yes! Jesus.

460
00:25:07,166 --> 00:25:08,375
OK, well...

461
00:25:08,833 --> 00:25:09,708
um...

462
00:25:10,791 --> 00:25:12,916
My dad hadn't been in

463
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,458
to check on the pigs for a few days.

464
00:25:14,541 --> 00:25:15,958
My parents were busy.

465
00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:18,958
He'd just tossed their food into the pen.

466
00:25:19,750 --> 00:25:20,958
But after a few days,

467
00:25:21,041 --> 00:25:25,291
he noticed that they were all just lying
in this corner all the time,

468
00:25:25,375 --> 00:25:26,916
so he went in to check on them.

469
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:27,958
They didn't look well.

470
00:25:28,041 --> 00:25:30,291
He decided he'd better try to move them.

471
00:25:30,375 --> 00:25:31,833
And they're heavy.

472
00:25:33,375 --> 00:25:35,291
They're pigs, right?

473
00:25:35,708 --> 00:25:39,125
But yeah, he... he finally managed
to move one, and discovered...

474
00:25:40,458 --> 00:25:44,791
its entire underside
was filled with maggots.

475
00:25:46,583 --> 00:25:48,375
Both pigs were being eaten alive.

476
00:25:54,791 --> 00:25:57,125
Life can be brutal on a farm.

477
00:26:00,666 --> 00:26:02,291
Should we go inside? It's getting cold.

478
00:26:04,583 --> 00:26:07,375
Everything has to die.
That's the truth.

479
00:26:07,916 --> 00:26:10,750
One likes to think
that there is always hope.

480
00:26:10,833 --> 00:26:12,750
That you can live above death.

481
00:26:13,166 --> 00:26:17,208
And it's a uniquely human fantasy
that things will get better,

482
00:26:17,291 --> 00:26:22,083
born perhaps of the uniquely
human understanding that things will not.

483
00:26:22,666 --> 00:26:24,375
There's no way to know for certain.

484
00:26:24,458 --> 00:26:26,541
But I suspect humans are the only animals

485
00:26:26,625 --> 00:26:28,708
that know the inevitability
of their own deaths.

486
00:26:28,791 --> 00:26:31,458
Other animals live in the present.

487
00:26:32,708 --> 00:26:33,958
Humans cannot,

488
00:26:34,291 --> 00:26:35,791
so they invented hope.

489
00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:42,333
Hello?

490
00:26:45,458 --> 00:26:46,333
Hello?

491
00:26:47,083 --> 00:26:47,958
I'm here.

492
00:26:48,375 --> 00:26:49,208
We're here.

493
00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:59,125
Hello?

494
00:27:00,625 --> 00:27:01,458
Hello?

495
00:27:03,333 --> 00:27:04,416
It's Jake!

496
00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:07,166
Hello?

497
00:27:15,583 --> 00:27:16,416
Hello?

498
00:27:16,500 --> 00:27:18,375
- We'll be right down.
- OK

499
00:27:21,916 --> 00:27:23,625
So...

500
00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:28,958
Do you want slippers?

501
00:27:29,041 --> 00:27:30,750
- I...
- Floors are cold here.

502
00:27:30,833 --> 00:27:33,083
- Old houses. Will you hold this, please?
- Yeah.

503
00:27:33,166 --> 00:27:34,458
Yeah, thanks, I think.

504
00:27:35,166 --> 00:27:36,000
Um...

505
00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:39,916
They'll be big on you.
They're my old ones, but they are warm.

506
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,041
Ah! Voilà .

507
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:49,125
- None for you?
- No.

508
00:27:49,208 --> 00:27:51,333
No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no,
you should have these.

509
00:27:51,416 --> 00:27:52,416
- These are yours.
- Oh, no.

510
00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:54,625
What kind of gentleman
would that make me?

511
00:27:58,041 --> 00:28:00,750
My slippers are your slippers.

512
00:28:02,083 --> 00:28:03,750
- You sure?
- I am.

513
00:28:09,458 --> 00:28:11,166
Um, have a seat.

514
00:28:21,708 --> 00:28:22,833
They'll be right down.

515
00:28:32,416 --> 00:28:33,416
Music?

516
00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:34,333
Sure.

517
00:29:29,500 --> 00:29:32,625
So, the... the bedrooms are upstairs.

518
00:29:33,208 --> 00:29:34,958
Not much else. Um...

519
00:29:36,583 --> 00:29:38,250
My mom's sewing room,

520
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:40,666
bedroom, linen closet.

521
00:29:41,958 --> 00:29:42,916
Um...

522
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,208
I can show you after we eat,

523
00:29:45,291 --> 00:29:46,458
if you'd like.

524
00:29:47,833 --> 00:29:48,958
It's not fancy,

525
00:29:49,375 --> 00:29:50,541
as you can see.

526
00:29:50,625 --> 00:29:52,583
It's nice. I like it.

527
00:29:52,666 --> 00:29:54,041
- Yeah?
- Yes.

528
00:29:54,125 --> 00:29:56,000
Reminds me of the house I grew up in.

529
00:29:57,833 --> 00:30:01,583
I suppose all farmhouses are alike.

530
00:30:03,666 --> 00:30:05,333
Like all happy families.

531
00:30:07,041 --> 00:30:09,041
I'm not sure Tolstoy got that one right.

532
00:30:13,250 --> 00:30:16,916
Happiness in a family
is as nuanced as unhappiness.

533
00:30:17,541 --> 00:30:19,333
Well, I think he was
talking about marriage...

534
00:30:19,416 --> 00:30:20,666
Ah, here they come!

535
00:30:30,500 --> 00:30:32,625
I'll just get a fire going
in the meantime.

536
00:30:50,541 --> 00:30:52,583
Your parents knew
we were coming, right?

537
00:30:52,666 --> 00:30:54,458
I mean, they invited us and all...

538
00:30:54,541 --> 00:30:58,791
Invitation sounds a little formal
for my family,

539
00:30:58,875 --> 00:31:00,458
but yeah, of course,
we communicated.

540
00:31:00,541 --> 00:31:01,791
OK, cool.

541
00:31:03,958 --> 00:31:04,875
Hmm.

542
00:31:05,791 --> 00:31:07,250
This fire feels good.

543
00:31:08,916 --> 00:31:09,916
Cozy.

544
00:31:11,166 --> 00:31:12,833
- What's in there?
- The basement.

545
00:31:13,500 --> 00:31:14,375
Oh.

546
00:31:14,833 --> 00:31:15,666
I see.

547
00:31:16,333 --> 00:31:20,041
We keep it closed off, mostly,
'cause old houses tend to be...

548
00:31:20,708 --> 00:31:21,541
drafty.

549
00:31:21,625 --> 00:31:23,083
Right.

550
00:31:25,541 --> 00:31:26,458
Anyway...

551
00:31:27,125 --> 00:31:28,541
the basement is unfinished.

552
00:31:29,416 --> 00:31:31,125
A hole in the ground, really.

553
00:31:31,208 --> 00:31:32,583
A hole in the ground?

554
00:31:33,166 --> 00:31:36,333
Just, water heater, washer and dryer,
stuff like that.

555
00:31:36,875 --> 00:31:39,000
We don't use it really for anything else.

556
00:31:41,083 --> 00:31:43,000
- OK.
- So, it's a waste of space.

557
00:31:44,583 --> 00:31:46,083
I hate the basement, if you...

558
00:31:46,958 --> 00:31:47,958
really want to know.

559
00:31:48,041 --> 00:31:49,833
You have intense feelings about it.

560
00:31:49,916 --> 00:31:51,208
You...

561
00:31:51,291 --> 00:31:52,791
You know, when you're a kid,

562
00:31:53,333 --> 00:31:55,708
uh, basements are scary.

563
00:31:55,791 --> 00:31:58,666
Well, we didn't have one
growing up in an apartment,

564
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:02,208
but watching those scary movies,
you get the idea.

565
00:32:03,625 --> 00:32:05,791
Don't look down in the basement.

566
00:32:07,875 --> 00:32:08,958
Oh, whoa!

567
00:32:11,708 --> 00:32:13,291
Exactly.

568
00:32:15,458 --> 00:32:17,250
He's hiding in there. Shh.

569
00:32:19,166 --> 00:32:20,375
- Who?
- What?

570
00:32:21,875 --> 00:32:22,708
Um...

571
00:32:23,458 --> 00:32:24,916
What are those scratches on the door?

572
00:32:26,541 --> 00:32:29,208
Dog. From the dog, mostly.

573
00:32:32,166 --> 00:32:33,125
I...

574
00:32:33,208 --> 00:32:34,125
I love dogs.

575
00:32:35,666 --> 00:32:37,416
I didn't know your parents have a dog!

576
00:32:37,500 --> 00:32:39,708
I usually can tell when there's a dog
in someone's house.

577
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:42,458
- Toys lying around, and...
- My folks are tidy.

578
00:32:42,541 --> 00:32:45,208
Well, where is it? What...
what kind? What's its name?

579
00:32:46,041 --> 00:32:48,125
So many questions. Uh, Jimmy.

580
00:32:49,208 --> 00:32:50,291
He's a border collie.

581
00:32:50,708 --> 00:32:52,625
Probably outside, or...

582
00:32:52,708 --> 00:32:55,416
Oh! Hi, Jimmy!

583
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:56,500
Hi!

584
00:32:58,083 --> 00:32:59,958
Oh, he's all wet.

585
00:33:03,333 --> 00:33:05,916
- That's...
- Ah! Here they come.

586
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,416
Oh!

587
00:33:07,500 --> 00:33:08,333
Oh!

588
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:10,958
Aww!

589
00:33:11,041 --> 00:33:12,208
Was the drive OK?

590
00:33:12,291 --> 00:33:13,250
Yeah, fine.

591
00:33:13,333 --> 00:33:14,166
Oh.

592
00:33:14,250 --> 00:33:16,125
- So glad to meet you, Louisa.
- Oh.

593
00:33:16,208 --> 00:33:18,958
Jake has told us
so much about you.

594
00:33:19,041 --> 00:33:22,000
Oh, he's told me so much
about both of you too.

595
00:33:22,083 --> 00:33:24,083
Oh. And you came anyway?

596
00:33:29,791 --> 00:33:30,625
Hi.

597
00:33:39,583 --> 00:33:42,916
Well, let's eat. All the food
will be as cold as a witch's tit

598
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,333
in a brass brassiere.

599
00:33:58,625 --> 00:34:01,333
- Oh, it smells great.
- I hope you're hungry.

600
00:34:01,416 --> 00:34:04,333
All homemade. Everything you see
on the table is from the farm.

601
00:34:10,541 --> 00:34:11,416
Looks lovely.

602
00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:12,541
So...

603
00:34:12,625 --> 00:34:14,333
Jake tells us you're a painter.

604
00:34:14,416 --> 00:34:16,458
Yes! Jake tells you correctly.

605
00:34:16,541 --> 00:34:18,250
I don't really know much about art,

606
00:34:18,333 --> 00:34:20,708
but I like pictures where you know
what you're looking at.

607
00:34:20,791 --> 00:34:23,375
What's it called? Uh, abstract.
I don't get that.

608
00:34:23,458 --> 00:34:27,500
I could do abstract. Smear some paint on,
what's it called?

609
00:34:28,208 --> 00:34:31,041
Canvas. I think it's a con job
if you ask me.

610
00:34:31,458 --> 00:34:33,791
I like paintings
that look like photographs.

611
00:34:34,416 --> 00:34:37,708
I couldn't do that in a million years.
That is talent.

612
00:34:37,791 --> 00:34:43,708
Why... why not just take a photograph,
Dad, if you like photographs?

613
00:34:43,791 --> 00:34:46,958
It's much quicker, and photographs look
exactly like photographs.

614
00:34:47,041 --> 00:34:50,250
I like photographs,
mostly sports photographs.

615
00:34:50,333 --> 00:34:52,250
What kind of paintings
do you make, Lucy?

616
00:34:54,041 --> 00:34:57,833
Uh, well, I-I'm not an abstract artist,
so that's in my favor.

617
00:34:57,916 --> 00:35:00,875
Good! You see, that's exactly my point.
You see? Good!

618
00:35:00,958 --> 00:35:02,750
I-I do mostly landscape.

619
00:35:03,541 --> 00:35:05,666
Like outside paintings?

620
00:35:05,750 --> 00:35:08,000
Uh, yes! Mm-hmm. Plein air.

621
00:35:08,333 --> 00:35:10,583
Which is outdoor painting.

622
00:35:10,666 --> 00:35:14,500
I try to capture the feel
of light and atmosphere.

623
00:35:14,583 --> 00:35:15,541
That sounds lovely.

624
00:35:15,625 --> 00:35:17,416
- Jake used to paint too, of course.
- Mom!

625
00:35:17,500 --> 00:35:19,750
- He worked really hard at it.
- Aww.

626
00:35:20,500 --> 00:35:21,500
I didn't know that.

627
00:35:21,583 --> 00:35:23,083
- He was very good.
- Mom.

628
00:35:23,166 --> 00:35:24,000
Aww.

629
00:35:27,750 --> 00:35:31,625
I try to imbue my work with a sort of...

630
00:35:31,708 --> 00:35:32,708
interiority.

631
00:35:32,791 --> 00:35:34,583
Interiority. So you paint...

632
00:35:35,291 --> 00:35:37,000
- inside?
- Well, inside my head.

633
00:35:37,083 --> 00:35:40,208
So a landscape would attempt to express
how I feel at that time.

634
00:35:40,291 --> 00:35:42,916
Lonely, joyous, worried, s-sad.

635
00:35:43,625 --> 00:35:45,083
That sounds very interesting.

636
00:35:45,916 --> 00:35:49,541
Like that painting of that girl,
sitting in a field, looking at a house.

637
00:35:49,625 --> 00:35:50,958
Christina's World. Wyeth.

638
00:35:51,041 --> 00:35:52,708
Yes. Exactly.

639
00:35:53,166 --> 00:35:54,375
But without people.

640
00:35:54,458 --> 00:35:55,375
Uh...

641
00:35:55,458 --> 00:35:58,541
How can a picture of a field be sad

642
00:35:58,625 --> 00:36:01,708
without a sad person
looking sad in the field?

643
00:36:03,666 --> 00:36:05,333
That's an interesting problem.

644
00:36:05,416 --> 00:36:06,250
I...

645
00:36:06,333 --> 00:36:07,708
Yeah, I-I-I-I...

646
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:09,416
I... I struggle with that.

647
00:36:10,416 --> 00:36:11,333
Uh...

648
00:36:11,416 --> 00:36:16,333
Well, I have some pictures of my work,
if you'd like to see them.

649
00:36:18,291 --> 00:36:20,333
Oh, yes!

650
00:36:20,416 --> 00:36:21,583
- Yeah?
- Yes?

651
00:36:21,666 --> 00:36:23,500
- Yes!
- Yeah?

652
00:36:37,416 --> 00:36:38,250
Uh...

653
00:36:41,333 --> 00:36:42,166
These here.

654
00:36:44,791 --> 00:36:45,666
Mmm!

655
00:36:46,791 --> 00:36:47,833
Mmm.

656
00:36:47,916 --> 00:36:48,750
Mmm.

657
00:36:49,916 --> 00:36:50,750
Ah.

658
00:36:53,958 --> 00:36:55,375
Mmm. Ah!

659
00:36:56,125 --> 00:36:57,916
Mmm. I mean, they're pretty,

660
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:01,750
but I don't see how it's supposed
to make me feel something

661
00:37:01,833 --> 00:37:04,583
if there's not a person in them
feeling something.

662
00:37:04,666 --> 00:37:07,750
If there's not a person in them
feeling sad or joyous

663
00:37:07,833 --> 00:37:09,708
or whatever other emotion you said.

664
00:37:10,958 --> 00:37:15,791
Well, m-maybe think of yourself
as the person looking out at the scene.

665
00:37:15,875 --> 00:37:17,458
I'd have to see me in them.

666
00:37:17,875 --> 00:37:20,083
Well, if you were there,
you wouldn't see yourself, right?

667
00:37:20,166 --> 00:37:22,541
Well, I would if I looked down.
I'm not a ghost.

668
00:37:22,625 --> 00:37:24,125
- Yet.
- I can attest to that.

669
00:37:24,208 --> 00:37:25,750
Especially in the bedroom.

670
00:37:27,625 --> 00:37:30,500
I mean, but if you were there

671
00:37:30,583 --> 00:37:32,208
looking out at it without looking down,

672
00:37:32,291 --> 00:37:34,333
you'd... you'd see the scene
and you'd feel something.

673
00:37:34,416 --> 00:37:37,000
Anything an environment makes you feel
is about you,

674
00:37:37,083 --> 00:37:38,666
not the environment, right?

675
00:37:39,208 --> 00:37:40,166
None of...

676
00:37:40,250 --> 00:37:42,791
none of the feeling
is inherent to the place.

677
00:37:42,875 --> 00:37:44,750
Uh, that's over my head, I guess.

678
00:37:45,250 --> 00:37:48,083
They are pretty, though.
You're very talented.

679
00:37:48,750 --> 00:37:50,333
- Thank you.
- I like the colors.

680
00:37:50,416 --> 00:37:51,500
Thanks.

681
00:37:51,958 --> 00:37:55,916
Psst, Jake, you didn't tell us
your girlfriend was so talented.

682
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,708
I did, actually.

683
00:38:00,041 --> 00:38:02,125
Anyway, uh...

684
00:38:02,833 --> 00:38:04,083
I mean, sometimes I...

685
00:38:04,166 --> 00:38:05,250
I would've thought...

686
00:38:05,875 --> 00:38:06,708
Mmm...

687
00:38:06,791 --> 00:38:07,625
Because...

688
00:38:12,875 --> 00:38:14,166
Uh, so...

689
00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:15,458
Jake...

690
00:38:16,041 --> 00:38:19,166
tells me you're studying quantum psychics
at the university.

691
00:38:19,250 --> 00:38:20,916
- Yes.
- Physics.

692
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,250
- Really?
- Yeah.

693
00:38:23,083 --> 00:38:25,083
That's unusual for a girl, isn't it?

694
00:38:25,666 --> 00:38:26,750
Yes, it is, actually.

695
00:38:26,833 --> 00:38:28,083
I'm just asking.

696
00:38:29,458 --> 00:38:32,666
A little less so these days,
which I think is a good thing.

697
00:38:32,750 --> 00:38:35,416
Well, after seventh grade,

698
00:38:35,500 --> 00:38:37,708
I couldn't understand
what Jake was saying,

699
00:38:37,791 --> 00:38:41,708
so it's wonderful he has someone
he can share all his ideas with.

700
00:38:41,791 --> 00:38:47,166
Jake tells us there's been lots of famous
husband and wife physicists.

701
00:38:47,250 --> 00:38:48,791
- Ooh!
- Dad!

702
00:38:49,916 --> 00:38:50,833
Yeah.

703
00:38:50,916 --> 00:38:53,208
I guess there have been some.

704
00:38:53,583 --> 00:38:56,541
Uh, Pierre and Marie Curie
shared a Nobel Prize in physics.

705
00:38:56,625 --> 00:38:58,375
Well, even I've heard of them.

706
00:38:58,458 --> 00:39:00,458
Well, I've heard of her anyway, radiation.

707
00:39:00,541 --> 00:39:02,333
- Uh, radioactivity.
- Radium.

708
00:39:02,416 --> 00:39:06,166
- Yes.
- I am so glad Jake has found someone.

709
00:39:07,541 --> 00:39:10,000
Won't you please tell us the story
of how you met?

710
00:39:10,500 --> 00:39:11,750
Jake has refused.

711
00:39:11,833 --> 00:39:13,416
I love romantic meeting stories.

712
00:39:13,500 --> 00:39:14,916
Like in Forget Paris.

713
00:39:15,416 --> 00:39:17,500
- Billy Crystal?
- I didn't like that movie.

714
00:39:17,583 --> 00:39:20,083
Billy Crystal is a nancy.

715
00:39:22,416 --> 00:39:23,333
Um...

716
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:28,750
So...

717
00:39:28,833 --> 00:39:29,791
Uh...

718
00:39:29,875 --> 00:39:33,583
I went with a friend
to a bar near campus, and...

719
00:39:34,291 --> 00:39:35,708
it turned out to be trivia night.

720
00:39:35,791 --> 00:39:38,375
Oh, I love this so far!
Jake is crazy about trivia!

721
00:39:38,458 --> 00:39:40,541
We used to play
the Genius Edition of the...

722
00:39:40,625 --> 00:39:42,333
- We used to play the Genius Edition...
- Genus.

723
00:39:42,416 --> 00:39:44,208
- We used to play the Genius Edition...
- Genus!

724
00:39:44,291 --> 00:39:45,916
…of Trivial Pursuit. What?

725
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:47,208
It's Genus Edition.

726
00:39:47,291 --> 00:39:52,000
Oh, I always thought the word was genius.
I've been saying it wrong all these years.

727
00:39:52,083 --> 00:39:53,958
Goes to show, I'm no genus!

728
00:39:57,291 --> 00:39:58,500
That's a good one.

729
00:39:58,583 --> 00:39:59,958
No, no, no.

730
00:40:01,041 --> 00:40:02,000
Genus is not...

731
00:40:02,083 --> 00:40:04,041
the same as genius.

732
00:40:04,125 --> 00:40:05,958
A genus is a category.

733
00:40:06,041 --> 00:40:07,916
I always thought
it was the Genius Edition.

734
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:11,041
I told everyone he knew every answer
in the Genius Edition.

735
00:40:11,125 --> 00:40:13,250
I was very proud of that.

736
00:40:13,916 --> 00:40:16,416
- Why didn't we get the Genius...
- There is no...

737
00:40:19,541 --> 00:40:22,458
- Genius Edition.
- OK.

738
00:40:39,666 --> 00:40:41,375
So, Jake was
with his trivia team,

739
00:40:41,458 --> 00:40:43,708
and my friend and I
found an empty table near him,

740
00:40:43,791 --> 00:40:45,166
and I was watching him.

741
00:40:45,250 --> 00:40:48,541
- Because you thought he was cute!
- Yeah, I did.

742
00:40:48,625 --> 00:40:52,791
And he was very serious about the game,
which I found, I don't know, charming.

743
00:40:53,291 --> 00:40:55,416
And... Oh, his team was called...

744
00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:58,333
- Brezhnev's Eyebrows.
- Brezhnev's Eyebrows, right.

745
00:40:58,416 --> 00:41:00,375
I asked who Brezhnev was,

746
00:41:00,458 --> 00:41:02,750
basically so I could say something to him.

747
00:41:02,833 --> 00:41:06,708
And he told me
that Brezhnev was a Soviet engineer.

748
00:41:06,791 --> 00:41:10,958
And a general of the...

749
00:41:11,041 --> 00:41:14,083
- Uh, the section head of...
- Secretary of the Communist Party.

750
00:41:14,541 --> 00:41:15,875
During the age of starvation.

751
00:41:15,958 --> 00:41:17,458
- Stagnation.
- Stagnation.

752
00:41:17,541 --> 00:41:19,333
Anyway, those team names
drive me nuts usually.

753
00:41:19,416 --> 00:41:21,583
They all have the most teams show-offy.

754
00:41:21,666 --> 00:41:24,458
But I don't know, it didn't
bother me so much with Jake.

755
00:41:24,541 --> 00:41:26,708
I guess I didn't let it
because I thought he was cute.

756
00:41:26,791 --> 00:41:30,000
Aw, he is cute, isn't he?

757
00:41:30,083 --> 00:41:33,541
So I-I-I was trying to get up the nerve
to talk to him, because...

758
00:41:33,625 --> 00:41:35,833
even though he looked over at me
more than once,

759
00:41:35,916 --> 00:41:37,875
it was clear he wasn't gonna say anything.

760
00:41:37,958 --> 00:41:42,208
I thought you said
you were talking about Brezhnev?

761
00:41:48,666 --> 00:41:49,625
Uh...

762
00:41:52,833 --> 00:41:55,000
Yes, that's true.

763
00:41:55,833 --> 00:41:57,958
But we didn't talk anymore after that,

764
00:41:58,041 --> 00:41:59,291
I guess is what I meant.

765
00:41:59,375 --> 00:42:00,833
Oh.

766
00:42:08,500 --> 00:42:12,208
So I said something stupid, like,
"You guys seem to be doing well."

767
00:42:16,250 --> 00:42:19,250
And I had to practically yell it,
it was so noisy.

768
00:42:19,333 --> 00:42:22,750
And Jake... Jake raised his glass
and went, "Well, yeah,

769
00:42:22,833 --> 00:42:24,458
well, we're helpfully fortified."

770
00:42:24,541 --> 00:42:26,666
And I laughed, which broke the ice,

771
00:42:26,750 --> 00:42:29,125
and I think he was egged on
by my laughing,

772
00:42:29,208 --> 00:42:33,500
'cause he went on to tell me
that he was a cruc...

773
00:42:33,583 --> 00:42:34,958
- Verbalist.
- Verbalist.

774
00:42:35,041 --> 00:42:36,583
And I didn't know what that meant.

775
00:42:36,666 --> 00:42:38,791
But I-I didn't want to admit that,
so I just said,

776
00:42:38,875 --> 00:42:39,708
- "Cool."
- Cool.

777
00:42:39,791 --> 00:42:42,208
And he was showing off again,
and poorly,

778
00:42:42,291 --> 00:42:45,500
and I thought, "This guy is awkward.
He has no game at all."

779
00:42:45,583 --> 00:42:49,041
And there was something
sort of appealing about that.

780
00:42:50,750 --> 00:42:51,916
But then he kept going.

781
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:57,708
And he told me that he wanted
his team name to be Ipseity,

782
00:42:58,166 --> 00:42:59,625
and I was like, "Ugh."

783
00:42:59,708 --> 00:43:01,125
You didn't like him anymore?

784
00:43:04,375 --> 00:43:05,250
No.

785
00:43:09,083 --> 00:43:10,041
I did.

786
00:43:12,250 --> 00:43:13,958
I just wanted that stuff to stop.

787
00:43:14,041 --> 00:43:14,875
So I told him,

788
00:43:14,958 --> 00:43:17,833
"You know I don't know that word.
Why don't you just cut the crap?"

789
00:43:19,833 --> 00:43:22,125
And he said something like,
"I'm an asshole."

790
00:43:32,416 --> 00:43:34,333
"I'm not very good at talking to people,

791
00:43:34,416 --> 00:43:36,875
and ipseity is just another word
for selfhood."

792
00:43:36,958 --> 00:43:41,000
Anyway, after that, he talked
like a normal person, and he was funny.

793
00:43:41,083 --> 00:43:43,791
And I could see he wanted to ask
for my number,

794
00:43:43,875 --> 00:43:45,000
but was shy.

795
00:43:45,625 --> 00:43:47,708
And I was getting up to go.

796
00:43:47,791 --> 00:43:49,875
My girlfriend wanted to leave.

797
00:43:49,958 --> 00:43:50,958
And Jake...

798
00:43:51,041 --> 00:43:52,708
blurted out, could he have my number?

799
00:43:52,791 --> 00:43:54,166
Oh!

800
00:43:54,250 --> 00:43:56,708
There you go... Jake.

801
00:43:56,791 --> 00:43:58,291
It's about time.

802
00:43:59,958 --> 00:44:01,458
And the rest was history.

803
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:02,958
That was like...

804
00:44:04,333 --> 00:44:05,666
six weeks ago?

805
00:44:06,125 --> 00:44:07,250
God, feels longer.

806
00:44:10,458 --> 00:44:13,083
Feels like forever, in a way.

807
00:44:13,750 --> 00:44:14,583
I can't...

808
00:44:16,666 --> 00:44:18,750
I can't even remember how long ago it is.

809
00:44:42,791 --> 00:44:43,750
I'll be right with you.

810
00:44:43,833 --> 00:44:46,041
Hello, welcome to Red Line.

811
00:44:46,125 --> 00:44:47,958
I'm Yvonne. I'll be taking care
of you today.

812
00:44:48,041 --> 00:44:49,083
There's a guy behind you.

813
00:44:51,041 --> 00:44:51,875
Really?

814
00:44:54,375 --> 00:44:55,833
That's Nimrod.

815
00:44:55,916 --> 00:44:58,541
He's the idiot waiter-in-training
trailing me.

816
00:44:59,125 --> 00:45:01,041
- Hi, I'm Nimrod.
- Hey.

817
00:45:01,500 --> 00:45:04,333
So are you folks ready to order,
or can I answer questions about the menu?

818
00:45:04,416 --> 00:45:06,833
- How is the Santa Fe burger?
- Very popular.

819
00:45:07,125 --> 00:45:09,041
OK, so, uh, which do you prefer,

820
00:45:09,125 --> 00:45:12,250
the Santa Fe burger or the Natchez burger?

821
00:45:12,333 --> 00:45:14,791
Hmm, that's a tough one.
They're both really, really good.

822
00:45:14,875 --> 00:45:18,416
- You don't have a favorite?
- Um, I guess I would say the...

823
00:45:18,500 --> 00:45:20,208
Look, man, she's a vegan, so...

824
00:45:20,291 --> 00:45:22,791
- What the hell are you doing?
- No, look. What you don't know

825
00:45:22,875 --> 00:45:26,250
about this amazing woman in front of you
is that she's not a waitress.

826
00:45:26,333 --> 00:45:28,500
- Can you please leave?
- She is a waitress.

827
00:45:28,583 --> 00:45:31,041
But only to put herself through school
so that she can become

828
00:45:31,125 --> 00:45:33,333
- an animal rights lawyer.
- OK.

829
00:45:33,416 --> 00:45:35,791
No, not a crumb of meat or dairy
has crossed her lips

830
00:45:35,875 --> 00:45:37,208
since she was five years old.

831
00:45:37,291 --> 00:45:40,958
And she realized that a...
that a hamburger is just a ground-up cow.

832
00:45:41,041 --> 00:45:43,416
She spent the rest of her life trying...

833
00:45:43,500 --> 00:45:45,583
She spent the rest of her life
trying to make the world

834
00:45:45,666 --> 00:45:47,958
a better place for animals,
and I love her!

835
00:45:48,458 --> 00:45:51,416
I love her! I love her
because she's the most beautiful...

836
00:45:57,083 --> 00:45:58,958
That was beautiful, Yvonne.

837
00:45:59,041 --> 00:45:59,916
You're fired.

838
00:46:08,041 --> 00:46:09,750
I needed that job, idiot.

839
00:46:11,958 --> 00:46:12,791
I know.

840
00:46:18,875 --> 00:46:20,125
Did you say you love me?

841
00:46:23,916 --> 00:46:24,791
I did.

842
00:46:33,333 --> 00:46:34,166
Idiot.

843
00:46:41,583 --> 00:46:43,416
Well, that was lovely.

844
00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:45,958
- We gotta get on the road.
- Jake was always a good boy.

845
00:46:46,041 --> 00:46:48,958
He was even awarded a diligence pin
at school, you remember?

846
00:46:49,041 --> 00:46:51,041
- Still working on that?
- Nah.

847
00:46:51,125 --> 00:46:53,125
Diligence. At eight, can you believe that?

848
00:46:53,208 --> 00:46:56,541
It was quite a thing. His father and I
never got awarded any such pin at eight.

849
00:46:56,625 --> 00:46:58,166
- At any age.
- True enough.

850
00:46:58,250 --> 00:46:59,250
At no age.

851
00:46:59,333 --> 00:47:02,500
I won a bunch of sports trophies,
but never a diligence trophy.

852
00:47:02,583 --> 00:47:04,875
I don't imagine I knew the word diligence
at eight!

853
00:47:04,958 --> 00:47:07,125
But Jake knew it. You knew.

854
00:47:07,208 --> 00:47:08,333
Jake knew.

855
00:47:08,666 --> 00:47:10,583
Jake knew. Remember how excited you were

856
00:47:10,666 --> 00:47:12,125
- about that diligence pin?
- No.

857
00:47:12,208 --> 00:47:14,416
- He wore it to school.
- I didn't.

858
00:47:14,500 --> 00:47:17,000
He did, every day. You did!

859
00:47:17,083 --> 00:47:20,208
No, I was disappointed.
I wanted the acumen pin.

860
00:47:20,500 --> 00:47:21,541
Diligence...

861
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:23,375
is an also ran.

862
00:47:23,458 --> 00:47:25,750
"You there, you worked very hard,
you're not very bright,

863
00:47:25,833 --> 00:47:27,458
but we're impressed
that you tried anyway."

864
00:47:27,541 --> 00:47:28,833
Oh, don't be sour.

865
00:47:28,916 --> 00:47:31,875
It was a lovely pin, sweetheart.

866
00:47:31,958 --> 00:47:33,416
Jakey.

867
00:47:34,875 --> 00:47:35,708
Dessert?

868
00:47:36,166 --> 00:47:38,875
I made Jake's favorite chocolate cake.

869
00:47:42,750 --> 00:47:43,625
Lovely.

870
00:47:45,125 --> 00:47:47,291
Of course, I never turn down
anything chocolate.

871
00:47:47,375 --> 00:47:48,291
Lovely.

872
00:47:55,083 --> 00:47:56,375
Help me.

873
00:47:57,958 --> 00:47:59,916
I'll serve dessert in the sitting room.

874
00:48:00,958 --> 00:48:02,791
That's from My Fair Lady.

875
00:48:03,416 --> 00:48:06,500
- That was you! Yes!
- She said he was a nancy.

876
00:48:06,583 --> 00:48:09,000
You've been saying that one
for years!

877
00:48:09,083 --> 00:48:12,125
Oh, you cannot keep doing this!

878
00:48:12,208 --> 00:48:13,833
You seem so quiet.

879
00:48:15,125 --> 00:48:16,041
You OK?

880
00:48:20,250 --> 00:48:21,083
Do you like them?

881
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,000
They're very nice.

882
00:48:24,291 --> 00:48:25,541
Very nice parents.

883
00:48:26,166 --> 00:48:27,541
You chose well, my friend.

884
00:48:28,291 --> 00:48:29,791
- Yeah.
- Yes.

885
00:48:29,875 --> 00:48:31,583
- Yeah.
- Yes.

886
00:48:33,500 --> 00:48:34,416
Of course.

887
00:48:35,750 --> 00:48:37,041
They love you a lot.

888
00:48:38,250 --> 00:48:40,416
- Yeah.
- Prime importance in parents.

889
00:48:43,250 --> 00:48:44,333
I suppose.

890
00:48:49,791 --> 00:48:51,083
We've had our issues.

891
00:48:51,166 --> 00:48:53,541
Jesus, everyone's had issues
with their parents.

892
00:48:56,750 --> 00:48:58,458
Hey, what happened to Jimmy?

893
00:49:00,083 --> 00:49:02,833
Aw, here he is!

894
00:49:02,916 --> 00:49:04,958
You're a stinky wet monster, huh?

895
00:49:05,041 --> 00:49:06,458
Sorry!

896
00:49:07,625 --> 00:49:09,416
- Sorry.
- About?

897
00:49:09,500 --> 00:49:10,625
His smell.

898
00:49:11,375 --> 00:49:12,291
Jake, he's a dog.

899
00:49:13,375 --> 00:49:14,875
It's fine. Jimmy...

900
00:49:29,041 --> 00:49:30,541
Hey, who is this?

901
00:49:31,375 --> 00:49:32,583
You can't tell?

902
00:49:34,458 --> 00:49:35,291
No.

903
00:49:39,666 --> 00:49:40,541
It's me.

904
00:49:41,125 --> 00:49:43,541
No, it was me.
W-Wasn't it me?

905
00:49:43,625 --> 00:49:45,333
- H-How...
- Sorry for the delay...

906
00:49:45,416 --> 00:49:47,750
- Oh, God.
- Kitchen emergency, don't you know.

907
00:49:47,833 --> 00:49:50,875
Well, here it is,
Jake's favorite. Ta-da!

908
00:49:50,958 --> 00:49:52,416
Chocolate yule log.

909
00:49:52,500 --> 00:49:53,958
Mm-mm.

910
00:49:54,041 --> 00:49:56,125
Even though it's well past yule.

911
00:49:56,208 --> 00:49:59,291
Reminds me of when Jake
used to suck his thumb.

912
00:49:59,375 --> 00:50:01,583
Well past the age
when he should've stopped.

913
00:50:02,208 --> 00:50:05,208
He'd say, "Yule, yule, yule..."

914
00:50:05,291 --> 00:50:06,250
As he sucked it.

915
00:50:06,333 --> 00:50:09,208
Yule log. Kinda looks like thumb!

916
00:50:10,416 --> 00:50:11,791
Looks great.

917
00:50:14,125 --> 00:50:15,083
Enjoy!

918
00:50:15,166 --> 00:50:16,000
Thank you.

919
00:50:16,083 --> 00:50:17,708
It really looks amazing.

920
00:50:17,791 --> 00:50:19,500
Thank you. Enjoy.

921
00:50:19,583 --> 00:50:20,708
Oh!

922
00:50:20,791 --> 00:50:21,750
God.

923
00:50:21,833 --> 00:50:24,000
I've been having problems with my ears.

924
00:50:24,083 --> 00:50:27,625
Just in case anyone is wondering why
I keep pulling at my ears all night long.

925
00:50:27,708 --> 00:50:29,041
More than a problem.

926
00:50:29,125 --> 00:50:30,541
Tinnitus.

927
00:50:30,625 --> 00:50:32,375
It is what it is, as they say.

928
00:50:32,458 --> 00:50:33,541
What is tinnitus?

929
00:50:33,625 --> 00:50:35,416
Not very much fun is what.

930
00:50:35,500 --> 00:50:37,125
Not very much fun.

931
00:50:37,583 --> 00:50:39,208
But shit happens, as they say.

932
00:50:42,125 --> 00:50:44,041
I hear a kind of buzzing in my ears.

933
00:50:44,125 --> 00:50:46,041
Well, not so much a buzzing,
more of a hiss.

934
00:50:46,125 --> 00:50:47,083
Well, more of a...

935
00:50:47,625 --> 00:50:48,500
whisper.

936
00:50:49,833 --> 00:50:51,041
Oh, always?

937
00:50:51,458 --> 00:50:52,291
Yes!

938
00:50:52,916 --> 00:50:55,333
As if I'm constantly being whispered to.

939
00:51:03,583 --> 00:51:06,291
Maybe it's sharing the secrets
of the universe with me.

940
00:51:08,333 --> 00:51:09,541
But I can't tell.

941
00:51:12,625 --> 00:51:14,583
Maybe it's giving me stock market tips.

942
00:51:15,958 --> 00:51:17,458
Oh, we'd be rich!

943
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:20,125
Sorry, sorry.

944
00:51:20,208 --> 00:51:22,666
I... I thought it had been turned off.

945
00:51:22,750 --> 00:51:24,250
Um...

946
00:51:25,250 --> 00:51:26,875
- See my glasses?
- Here you are.

947
00:51:31,916 --> 00:51:33,583
It's just a friend.

948
00:51:33,666 --> 00:51:35,833
- Her friend calls a lot.
- Well, you can take it.

949
00:51:35,916 --> 00:51:37,583
You should take it.
We won't think it rude.

950
00:51:37,666 --> 00:51:39,125
No, it's OK. It's not important.

951
00:51:39,208 --> 00:51:41,583
You don't know. It might be.
It's a blizzard out there.

952
00:51:41,666 --> 00:51:43,625
- She might be stranded.
- It's OK.

953
00:51:43,708 --> 00:51:46,166
Is it a blizzard now?
We... We don't want to get stuck.

954
00:51:46,250 --> 00:51:48,166
- Stuck? Stuck?
- It's OK. I've got the chains.

955
00:51:48,250 --> 00:51:49,875
I've... I've got to work early tomorrow.

956
00:51:49,958 --> 00:51:51,208
Oh, you put the chains on?

957
00:51:51,291 --> 00:51:53,750
No, not yet, but they're in...
they're in the bed.

958
00:51:53,833 --> 00:51:55,583
Chains should make it fine.

959
00:51:55,666 --> 00:51:56,666
What? I'm sorry.

960
00:51:56,750 --> 00:51:58,583
- The chains.
- Oh, God.

961
00:51:59,208 --> 00:52:02,083
- The whispers, I call them.
- The night is the worst.

962
00:52:02,166 --> 00:52:03,500
- What is?
- Night!

963
00:52:03,583 --> 00:52:04,958
Oh, night is the worst.

964
00:52:05,416 --> 00:52:06,666
I don't sleep much anymore.

965
00:52:06,750 --> 00:52:09,208
Oh, that sounds very difficult. I'm sorry.

966
00:52:09,291 --> 00:52:11,041
- Sorry?
- I just said I'm sorry!

967
00:52:11,125 --> 00:52:11,958
Oh.

968
00:52:12,041 --> 00:52:13,375
We're both saying sorry!

969
00:52:16,208 --> 00:52:18,958
- You should take your call though.
- It could be an emergency.

970
00:52:19,041 --> 00:52:19,875
It's fine.

971
00:52:20,333 --> 00:52:21,208
I-I-I-I...

972
00:52:21,750 --> 00:52:25,000
- I know what she's calling about.
- You should at least listen to the message

973
00:52:25,083 --> 00:52:25,916
OK!

974
00:52:28,916 --> 00:52:30,041
Sure.

975
00:52:36,458 --> 00:52:38,416
There's only one question
to resolve.

976
00:52:38,500 --> 00:52:40,708
I'm scared. I feel a little crazy.

977
00:52:40,791 --> 00:52:42,125
I'm not lucid. How...

978
00:52:42,208 --> 00:52:43,583
The assumptions are right.

979
00:52:43,666 --> 00:52:45,083
I can feel my fear growing.

980
00:52:45,166 --> 00:52:47,958
Now is the time for the answer,
just one question.

981
00:52:48,041 --> 00:52:49,416
One question to answer.

982
00:52:53,416 --> 00:52:54,666
- She's fine.
- Eh?

983
00:52:55,166 --> 00:52:56,958
Wh... what did she want?

984
00:52:57,041 --> 00:52:59,208
Oh, she was just calling to say hi.

985
00:52:59,291 --> 00:53:00,250
How nice.

986
00:53:00,333 --> 00:53:01,666
Friends are important.

987
00:53:02,250 --> 00:53:05,958
Jake never really had a lot of them
growing up. Or even after.

988
00:53:07,125 --> 00:53:08,583
Remember your 50th birthday?

989
00:53:08,666 --> 00:53:10,625
- Twentieth.
- What did I say?

990
00:53:10,708 --> 00:53:12,125
- Fiftieth.
- Fiftieth.

991
00:53:12,208 --> 00:53:13,666
Oh.

992
00:53:13,750 --> 00:53:15,625
Goodness, where is my brain?

993
00:53:18,291 --> 00:53:19,125
Anyway.

994
00:53:20,916 --> 00:53:22,208
Friends can be helpful.

995
00:53:22,750 --> 00:53:24,791
Hmm. That's what I've always found.

996
00:53:25,750 --> 00:53:27,916
'Cause life can be difficult.

997
00:53:29,083 --> 00:53:30,208
On a farm.

998
00:53:30,291 --> 00:53:33,875
Doesn't get any easier
as it trudges along, I'll say that.

999
00:53:35,041 --> 00:53:36,916
- What?
- Doesn't get any easier.

1000
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,583
- What doesn't?
- Life!

1001
00:53:38,666 --> 00:53:41,916
Oh, no, it doesn't.
It's basically a fast train to hell.

1002
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:43,166
For God's sake, Mom!

1003
00:53:43,250 --> 00:53:46,208
All right, all right, yes.
I'm overstating it. I agree.

1004
00:53:47,375 --> 00:53:48,708
It's a fast train to heck!

1005
00:54:05,458 --> 00:54:07,416
Your mother was always very funny.

1006
00:54:09,416 --> 00:54:10,916
It's what I loved about her.

1007
00:54:12,291 --> 00:54:13,250
I think it's the...

1008
00:54:14,166 --> 00:54:16,250
the first thing that I fell in love with.

1009
00:54:18,958 --> 00:54:22,333
Kind of... faded as she got older.

1010
00:54:24,083 --> 00:54:25,833
Wears you down, I guess.

1011
00:54:26,958 --> 00:54:28,541
It's not so funny anymore.

1012
00:54:32,125 --> 00:54:33,416
I miss her terribly.

1013
00:54:34,791 --> 00:54:35,625
Yeah.

1014
00:54:47,166 --> 00:54:48,250
So, Lucia...

1015
00:54:49,041 --> 00:54:50,708
is studying gerontology.

1016
00:54:51,833 --> 00:54:53,333
Oh, really?

1017
00:54:53,416 --> 00:54:55,250
Oh, how fascinating.

1018
00:54:55,333 --> 00:54:57,166
Oh, fascinating.

1019
00:54:58,875 --> 00:54:59,708
Yes.

1020
00:55:01,250 --> 00:55:04,708
I've always been interested
in the problems associated with aging.

1021
00:55:05,375 --> 00:55:08,875
I think our society has an almost
repulsed relationship to the aged.

1022
00:55:08,958 --> 00:55:11,750
Which is eminently foolish,
seeing that it's an inevitable and natural

1023
00:55:11,833 --> 00:55:14,000
part of the life cycle
of all living things.

1024
00:55:15,875 --> 00:55:18,000
Not to mention it's terribly unkind.

1025
00:55:19,083 --> 00:55:19,916
Oh.

1026
00:55:21,125 --> 00:55:22,333
How interesting.

1027
00:55:22,750 --> 00:55:24,083
And compassionate.

1028
00:55:24,500 --> 00:55:26,875
Oh, we've gotta keep her, Jake.

1029
00:55:26,958 --> 00:55:29,083
Oh, how kind she is.

1030
00:55:34,208 --> 00:55:35,208
Boy, it's, uh...

1031
00:55:37,125 --> 00:55:38,916
It's looking pretty bad out there.

1032
00:55:39,791 --> 00:55:42,291
I don't know, Jake,
I-I think we should probably...

1033
00:55:53,083 --> 00:55:54,083
Jake?

1034
00:55:57,833 --> 00:55:58,708
Jake?

1035
00:55:59,500 --> 00:56:01,083
- Jake?
- What?

1036
00:56:01,166 --> 00:56:02,833
I-I-I-I think we should go.

1037
00:56:02,916 --> 00:56:04,125
It's looking pretty bad.

1038
00:56:06,125 --> 00:56:07,333
I have chains!

1039
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:14,833
Where are you?

1040
00:56:15,250 --> 00:56:16,958
- Upstairs.
- I'm coming up.

1041
00:56:19,916 --> 00:56:21,041
Just letting you know.

1042
00:56:50,250 --> 00:56:51,125
Jake?

1043
00:57:03,750 --> 00:57:04,625
Jake?

1044
00:57:06,166 --> 00:57:07,041
Where are you?

1045
00:57:13,333 --> 00:57:14,166
Jake?

1046
00:58:14,416 --> 00:58:16,375
"Coming home is terrible.

1047
00:58:16,833 --> 00:58:19,083
Whether the dogs lick your face or not.

1048
00:58:20,375 --> 00:58:24,000
Whether you have a wife or just
a wife-shaped loneliness waiting for you.

1049
00:58:25,041 --> 00:58:27,166
Coming home is terribly lonely."

1050
00:58:30,041 --> 00:58:31,583
Sorry, you...

1051
00:58:31,666 --> 00:58:32,541
you scared me.

1052
00:58:32,625 --> 00:58:34,000
Oh, I'm sorry.

1053
00:58:37,458 --> 00:58:38,291
This is...

1054
00:58:39,208 --> 00:58:41,666
Jake's childhood bedroom.

1055
00:58:43,666 --> 00:58:44,500
Yeah.

1056
00:58:45,250 --> 00:58:46,250
Yeah, I-I...

1057
00:58:46,333 --> 00:58:47,916
I saw the sign on the door.

1058
00:58:49,083 --> 00:58:50,166
Oh, that.

1059
00:58:51,875 --> 00:58:53,416
How can I explain that?

1060
00:58:53,833 --> 00:58:56,041
My memory is going, um...

1061
00:58:56,125 --> 00:58:58,500
Early signs of, uh...

1062
00:59:01,666 --> 00:59:02,666
Uh...

1063
00:59:06,250 --> 00:59:07,166
Alzheimer's?

1064
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:09,875
Dementia?

1065
00:59:11,583 --> 00:59:13,875
- Lewy bodies...
- Yeah, I think that's it.

1066
00:59:15,333 --> 00:59:16,625
We've taken to...

1067
00:59:17,375 --> 00:59:19,250
labeling things

1068
00:59:19,666 --> 00:59:24,166
around the home,
you'll see labels all over the house.

1069
00:59:25,583 --> 00:59:26,833
I haven't noticed.

1070
00:59:30,083 --> 00:59:31,750
You will notice.

1071
00:59:32,416 --> 00:59:36,083
I'm sorry to hear that y-you're...

1072
00:59:36,166 --> 00:59:37,541
That's OK.

1073
00:59:38,875 --> 00:59:39,833
Truth is...

1074
00:59:40,583 --> 00:59:43,000
I'm looking forward
to when it gets very bad

1075
00:59:43,083 --> 00:59:45,833
and I don't have to remember
that I can't remember!

1076
00:59:50,500 --> 00:59:52,083
Seems that that'll be a...

1077
00:59:52,958 --> 00:59:55,291
better way to, um...

1078
00:59:55,958 --> 00:59:58,083
Oh, come on.

1079
01:00:01,125 --> 01:00:04,000
- Yeah.
- They say that every cloud has a...

1080
01:00:06,375 --> 01:00:09,916
- A silver...
- Silver! Ah, that's it, exactly. Silver.

1081
01:00:10,750 --> 01:00:14,291
They say that every cloud has a silver,
and, uh...

1082
01:00:14,375 --> 01:00:16,000
Well, I believe that to be true.

1083
01:00:19,875 --> 01:00:20,708
Oh.

1084
01:00:21,125 --> 01:00:22,708
This is Jake's old room.

1085
01:00:25,250 --> 01:00:27,541
You two can stay in here tonight
if you want.

1086
01:00:27,625 --> 01:00:31,500
His mother and I aren't old fashioned
about that kind of thing.

1087
01:00:31,583 --> 01:00:33,250
Fucking and whatnot.

1088
01:00:33,666 --> 01:00:35,791
Oh, I.. I... I have to get home tonight.

1089
01:00:35,875 --> 01:00:37,541
I have work in... in the morning.

1090
01:00:37,625 --> 01:00:38,875
I know this bed

1091
01:00:39,833 --> 01:00:42,166
looks a bit small for two, um...

1092
01:00:43,125 --> 01:00:43,958
Oh, come on.

1093
01:00:44,041 --> 01:00:46,083
Uh, uh, grown-ups.

1094
01:00:46,166 --> 01:00:49,833
It's a child's bed, after all.
Not even for twin children.

1095
01:00:50,208 --> 01:00:53,625
Just for one child. I'm sure
for a single night you could make do.

1096
01:00:54,041 --> 01:00:56,750
That's very generous of you, but I...
I-I do have to...

1097
01:00:56,833 --> 01:00:59,500
I imagine you won't be doing
any fucking in this bed.

1098
01:01:00,458 --> 01:01:03,250
Not really made for fucking.
It's a child's bed.

1099
01:01:03,333 --> 01:01:05,208
Just for one child, not two.

1100
01:01:05,291 --> 01:01:06,125
Right.

1101
01:01:06,208 --> 01:01:09,625
Sure I can find
one of my wife's old, um...

1102
01:01:11,208 --> 01:01:12,125
Oh.

1103
01:01:14,125 --> 01:01:16,625
Things for you to wear for tonight.

1104
01:01:16,708 --> 01:01:18,750
Might have to dig through some trunks.

1105
01:01:19,666 --> 01:01:23,500
Sure I can find one of my wife's
old things for you to wear.

1106
01:01:24,458 --> 01:01:26,125
For tonight. Oh, look, there's...

1107
01:01:26,583 --> 01:01:29,666
Jake's old room.

1108
01:01:52,958 --> 01:01:53,916
Jake.

1109
01:01:56,750 --> 01:01:59,625
Oh, it's the girlfriend.

1110
01:02:00,500 --> 01:02:01,416
Open up.

1111
01:02:02,375 --> 01:02:04,291
Jake, the snow. I need to leave.

1112
01:02:04,375 --> 01:02:09,958
I've told him over and over
it's time for him to leave!

1113
01:02:10,041 --> 01:02:11,916
Mom, you need to eat!

1114
01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:13,250
I'll be down in a minute.

1115
01:02:16,916 --> 01:02:17,750
Mom!

1116
01:02:19,125 --> 01:02:21,958
Jake's always been a good boy.

1117
01:02:22,041 --> 01:02:22,875
Mom.

1118
01:02:23,291 --> 01:02:24,583
Diligent.

1119
01:02:27,166 --> 01:02:29,000
He won a pin.

1120
01:02:29,416 --> 01:02:35,458
Maybe not as naturally talented
as some of the other students,

1121
01:02:35,541 --> 01:02:36,375
but...

1122
01:02:37,041 --> 01:02:40,375
he worked so hard.

1123
01:02:42,041 --> 01:02:44,958
And that's even more impressive.

1124
01:02:47,375 --> 01:02:48,666
Being a genus...

1125
01:02:48,750 --> 01:02:50,041
Genius, Mom.

1126
01:02:50,125 --> 01:02:51,375
Genius.

1127
01:02:53,166 --> 01:02:55,458
The luck of the draw, really.

1128
01:02:57,375 --> 01:03:00,875
The genetic lottery, as they say.

1129
01:03:02,666 --> 01:03:06,958
But to do as well as Jake did

1130
01:03:07,041 --> 01:03:12,458
with no special talent or abilities...

1131
01:03:12,833 --> 01:03:14,666
Oh.

1132
01:03:14,750 --> 01:03:18,250
That's much more impressive.

1133
01:03:19,333 --> 01:03:20,625
Mm...

1134
01:03:20,708 --> 01:03:21,666
Yes.

1135
01:03:22,208 --> 01:03:23,666
- Maybe you should...
- Soon!

1136
01:03:25,416 --> 01:03:26,250
OK.

1137
01:03:27,125 --> 01:03:30,333
We will leave soon.

1138
01:03:31,833 --> 01:03:33,416
Let me just finish up here.

1139
01:03:56,333 --> 01:03:57,208
Mom?

1140
01:03:58,333 --> 01:04:01,166
I'm impressed
with your attentiveness to your mom.

1141
01:04:01,583 --> 01:04:02,666
It's rare.

1142
01:04:03,375 --> 01:04:05,333
We tend to warehouse our elderly.

1143
01:04:08,416 --> 01:04:11,083
It's really special
how devoted a son you are.

1144
01:04:11,166 --> 01:04:14,000
I'm glad to hear you say that.
That makes me feel better.

1145
01:04:15,625 --> 01:04:17,083
Sometimes it...

1146
01:04:18,458 --> 01:04:22,166
feels like no one sees
the good things you do.

1147
01:04:24,125 --> 01:04:25,541
Like you're just alone.

1148
01:04:31,625 --> 01:04:32,791
I see it.

1149
01:04:40,083 --> 01:04:41,500
I'll wait downstairs.

1150
01:04:42,333 --> 01:04:43,500
Give you some privacy.

1151
01:04:48,875 --> 01:04:52,875
I don't want to live in a warehouse.

1152
01:04:53,416 --> 01:04:55,875
I should end this.
Just end it.

1153
01:04:56,250 --> 01:04:57,791
I just make a clean break.

1154
01:04:58,166 --> 01:05:00,750
No lingering,
no waiting for things to get better.

1155
01:05:01,375 --> 01:05:02,833
You can only wait so long.

1156
01:05:03,333 --> 01:05:05,916
I don't even know who I am
in this whole thing anymore,

1157
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:07,875
where I stop and Jake starts.

1158
01:05:08,416 --> 01:05:12,666
I'm a pinball. My emotional state
is bouncing all over the place.

1159
01:05:12,750 --> 01:05:15,750
Jake needs to see me
as someone who sees him.

1160
01:05:15,833 --> 01:05:18,750
He needs to be seen,
and he needs to be seen with approval.

1161
01:05:19,250 --> 01:05:21,666
Like that's my purpose
in all this, in life.

1162
01:05:21,750 --> 01:05:24,250
To approve of Jake, to keep him going.

1163
01:05:24,333 --> 01:05:27,333
And he needs to see me as someone
whose approval of him is validated

1164
01:05:27,416 --> 01:05:28,958
because I'm approved of by others.

1165
01:05:29,041 --> 01:05:31,000
"Look at my girlfriend,
look at what I won.

1166
01:05:31,083 --> 01:05:33,666
She's smart, she's talented,
she's sensitive.

1167
01:05:33,750 --> 01:05:36,875
She can do this, she knows about that,
she made this, she cares about that."

1168
01:05:36,958 --> 01:05:39,666
Let me just take him to the bathroom,
then we'll go.

1169
01:05:39,750 --> 01:05:41,000
I need to end it.

1170
01:05:41,083 --> 01:05:42,041
Is that the girl?

1171
01:05:44,125 --> 01:05:46,833
- Yes, Dad, Louisa.
- Oh.

1172
01:05:46,916 --> 01:05:47,750
Good.

1173
01:05:48,250 --> 01:05:49,750
I brought your mother's, uh...

1174
01:05:54,250 --> 01:05:55,416
nightgown.

1175
01:05:56,333 --> 01:05:57,208
For her.

1176
01:05:59,208 --> 01:06:00,958
That's...

1177
01:06:01,041 --> 01:06:02,625
Very kind. I...

1178
01:06:04,708 --> 01:06:06,166
I have to go home tonight.

1179
01:06:06,958 --> 01:06:07,791
Soon.

1180
01:06:07,875 --> 01:06:11,625
Oh, I-I... I don't understand.
What does she mean?

1181
01:06:11,708 --> 01:06:13,000
I don't know, Dad.

1182
01:06:13,083 --> 01:06:15,458
- I can't tell.
- I have my shift tomorrow.

1183
01:06:16,916 --> 01:06:18,125
She's a waitress.

1184
01:06:18,208 --> 01:06:19,125
Oh

1185
01:06:20,416 --> 01:06:22,833
We.. we met when she was serving me.

1186
01:06:24,500 --> 01:06:25,833
It's a sweet story.

1187
01:06:27,791 --> 01:06:31,041
I asked her about the...

1188
01:06:31,666 --> 01:06:34,000
Santa Fe burger.

1189
01:06:36,833 --> 01:06:38,250
I'm feeling confused.

1190
01:06:38,333 --> 01:06:40,083
Let's just get you to the bathroom.

1191
01:06:41,333 --> 01:06:42,958
We don't want another accident.

1192
01:06:43,458 --> 01:06:44,500
Remember last night?

1193
01:06:44,583 --> 01:06:46,416
What's this old thing doing here?

1194
01:06:46,500 --> 01:06:47,750
I'm not sure.

1195
01:06:47,833 --> 01:06:49,000
Oh, my goodness it's filthy.

1196
01:06:49,083 --> 01:06:51,500
It's got Jake's baby food on it.
What's it doing here?

1197
01:06:51,583 --> 01:06:52,750
I tell you,

1198
01:06:52,833 --> 01:06:55,708
I would misplace my own head
if it wasn't screwed onto my own head.

1199
01:06:55,791 --> 01:06:58,666
Would you be a sweetheart and toss it
in the washer? I just started a load.

1200
01:06:58,750 --> 01:07:01,166
My hands are full picking up
all these darn toys.

1201
01:07:01,250 --> 01:07:04,375
Jake would leave his head on the floor
if it wasn't screwed onto his own head.

1202
01:07:04,458 --> 01:07:05,500
Sure.

1203
01:07:05,583 --> 01:07:07,083
- Where is it?
- In the basement.

1204
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:11,541
I don't think Jake wants me down there.

1205
01:07:11,625 --> 01:07:13,166
Jake can be controlling.

1206
01:07:13,250 --> 01:07:15,333
You can't allow him to control you.

1207
01:07:15,708 --> 01:07:19,833
I think it's the other side of his type
of personality. This diligence thing.

1208
01:07:19,916 --> 01:07:21,500
He needs to control everything.

1209
01:07:21,583 --> 01:07:23,291
There's so many,

1210
01:07:23,375 --> 01:07:25,750
many things that make him nervous.

1211
01:07:25,833 --> 01:07:29,291
He keeps closing off more and more
of the world. It's a problem.

1212
01:07:29,750 --> 01:07:32,125
And the few people
he does have left in his life

1213
01:07:32,208 --> 01:07:33,708
need to follow all sorts of rules.

1214
01:07:33,791 --> 01:07:35,125
It really is a problem.

1215
01:07:35,208 --> 01:07:36,625
Yes, I'm probably to blame.

1216
01:07:37,875 --> 01:07:40,958
And all this guilt
causes me to feel obligated...

1217
01:07:41,500 --> 01:07:44,666
...to bend over backwards
to accommodate his every little whim.

1218
01:07:44,750 --> 01:07:46,375
It's a vicious cycle.

1219
01:07:46,916 --> 01:07:48,791
So what exactly are you saying to me?

1220
01:07:49,500 --> 01:07:53,958
I'm saying,
take the darn nightgown to the basement.

1221
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:56,541
Live dangerously.

1222
01:08:29,958 --> 01:08:31,625
You... you sent her down?

1223
01:08:32,791 --> 01:08:33,958
To the washer.

1224
01:08:34,500 --> 01:08:36,250
Mom! Really?

1225
01:08:37,125 --> 01:08:39,791
You don't have to do laundry
for my mom.

1226
01:08:39,875 --> 01:08:41,166
You're a guest,

1227
01:08:41,958 --> 01:08:45,458
and we... we... we'll get you
a clean nightgown for tonight.

1228
01:08:45,541 --> 01:08:47,583
- I don't mind.
- Well, we really need...

1229
01:08:47,666 --> 01:08:49,250
We really need to get on the road.

1230
01:08:50,833 --> 01:08:53,000
I could... I could use some help
with the chains.

1231
01:08:53,083 --> 01:08:54,250
Right, I'll be up.

1232
01:10:19,458 --> 01:10:23,291
It's tragic how few people
possess their souls before they die.

1233
01:10:25,458 --> 01:10:28,750
"Nothing is more rare in any man,"
says Emerson,

1234
01:10:29,291 --> 01:10:30,541
"than an act of his own."

1235
01:10:31,250 --> 01:10:32,583
And it's quite true.

1236
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:34,541
Most people are other people.

1237
01:10:35,375 --> 01:10:37,500
Their thoughts are
someone else's opinions.

1238
01:10:37,875 --> 01:10:40,666
Their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation.

1239
01:10:42,250 --> 01:10:43,708
That's an Oscar Wilde quote.

1240
01:10:48,500 --> 01:10:50,541
There's only one question
to resolve.

1241
01:10:50,625 --> 01:10:54,000
I'm scared. I feel a little crazy.
I'm not lucid.

1242
01:10:54,083 --> 01:10:57,041
The assumptions are right.
I can feel my fear growing.

1243
01:10:57,125 --> 01:10:58,833
Now is the time for the answer.

1244
01:10:58,916 --> 01:11:01,666
Just one question,
one question to answer.

1245
01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:15,916
Oh, my God.

1246
01:11:16,875 --> 01:11:17,875
Jake, is your mom...

1247
01:11:25,083 --> 01:11:27,458
She's...

1248
01:11:29,166 --> 01:11:30,291
She's asleep.

1249
01:11:32,125 --> 01:11:33,250
She's...

1250
01:11:34,291 --> 01:11:35,875
We should go.

1251
01:11:37,541 --> 01:11:39,041
It's getting treacherous.

1252
01:11:40,375 --> 01:11:42,083
Are you certain she's all right?

1253
01:11:42,166 --> 01:11:43,666
Out like a light.

1254
01:11:47,375 --> 01:11:48,708
It's a good time to go.

1255
01:11:50,541 --> 01:11:51,583
What about your dad?

1256
01:11:52,291 --> 01:11:53,125
He's...

1257
01:11:55,166 --> 01:11:56,958
He's puttering somewhere.

1258
01:11:59,458 --> 01:12:01,000
The disposal's out again.

1259
01:12:03,958 --> 01:12:05,291
It was great to meet you.

1260
01:12:08,208 --> 01:12:09,708
It was great to meet you too.

1261
01:12:13,708 --> 01:12:15,791
Thank you so much for your hospitality.

1262
01:12:15,875 --> 01:12:18,541
Oh, you're welcome here any time. Yes.

1263
01:12:24,625 --> 01:12:26,416
Jake's a good boy, yes?

1264
01:12:27,833 --> 01:12:28,916
- Yes.
- Yeah?

1265
01:12:29,416 --> 01:12:31,208
A good man, I should say.

1266
01:12:32,333 --> 01:12:33,208
You agree?

1267
01:12:33,708 --> 01:12:34,666
Yes.

1268
01:12:39,375 --> 01:12:40,458
OK then, well...

1269
01:13:15,458 --> 01:13:16,291
So?

1270
01:13:17,833 --> 01:13:19,291
Did you like them?

1271
01:13:20,208 --> 01:13:22,625
Uh, y-yes, they're very nice.

1272
01:13:24,041 --> 01:13:25,041
Really?

1273
01:13:25,125 --> 01:13:25,958
Yes.

1274
01:13:28,208 --> 01:13:31,500
They can be a little pushy,
but they're basically decent people.

1275
01:13:31,916 --> 01:13:33,250
That was eminently clear.

1276
01:13:35,791 --> 01:13:37,416
They both loved you, by the way.

1277
01:13:38,083 --> 01:13:39,333
That's good. I'm glad.

1278
01:13:41,541 --> 01:13:44,500
- So smart, my mother said.
- Did she?

1279
01:13:45,041 --> 01:13:47,958
Well, not to you. That would've
made you uncomfortable.

1280
01:13:48,833 --> 01:13:51,333
But, um, when I was helping her
with the dishes.

1281
01:13:52,041 --> 01:13:55,166
I don't remember Jake
helping his mother with the dishes.

1282
01:13:55,833 --> 01:13:58,833
I feel uncertain about a lot
of what happened tonight. It felt like...

1283
01:13:58,916 --> 01:14:01,291
When you and Dad were discussing...

1284
01:14:01,375 --> 01:14:02,250
What?

1285
01:14:03,250 --> 01:14:05,208
When you and Dad were discussing...

1286
01:14:05,291 --> 01:14:07,416
It seemed
as if everything was slightly...

1287
01:14:07,875 --> 01:14:10,333
- Tariffs.
- Right. Tariffs.

1288
01:14:13,166 --> 01:14:16,000
Yeah, I-I do remember now.
I'm a little fuzzy.

1289
01:14:16,083 --> 01:14:17,458
You did have a lot of wine.

1290
01:14:19,416 --> 01:14:21,541
He was thrilled to have someone
who knew the difference.

1291
01:14:21,625 --> 01:14:22,458
Did I?

1292
01:14:22,791 --> 01:14:23,666
You did.

1293
01:14:24,666 --> 01:14:25,500
Uh...

1294
01:14:26,041 --> 01:14:28,958
I don't think you noticed,
because he kept topping you off.

1295
01:14:29,041 --> 01:14:30,958
- Did he?
- Yes, yes, yes.

1296
01:14:31,041 --> 01:14:32,041
Right.

1297
01:14:33,000 --> 01:14:34,125
I didn't notice that.

1298
01:14:34,750 --> 01:14:36,125
- Yeah.
- Tricky.

1299
01:14:36,208 --> 01:14:37,666
Makes it hard to keep count.

1300
01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:41,250
- It does.
- As I was saying...

1301
01:14:42,458 --> 01:14:44,916
All in all, I think everything...

1302
01:14:45,000 --> 01:14:46,666
...went well.

1303
01:14:46,750 --> 01:14:48,666
I think it was a successful visit.

1304
01:14:48,750 --> 01:14:49,875
Mm-hmm. Yes.

1305
01:14:51,166 --> 01:14:52,791
Everyone got to know each other.

1306
01:14:52,875 --> 01:14:55,166
That's true. They're very nice.

1307
01:14:55,250 --> 01:14:56,750
- You liked them?
- Yes.

1308
01:14:56,833 --> 01:14:59,125
They liked you, too.
I think that...

1309
01:14:59,208 --> 01:15:00,916
I think that's a good sign.

1310
01:15:01,875 --> 01:15:02,708
S-Sign?

1311
01:15:02,791 --> 01:15:03,625
Sign.

1312
01:15:04,250 --> 01:15:06,416
Sign is perhaps not the right word.

1313
01:15:06,500 --> 01:15:08,500
- The thing.
- Oh.

1314
01:15:08,583 --> 01:15:09,833
The good thing.

1315
01:15:09,916 --> 01:15:11,500
- Yeah.
- Good thing.

1316
01:15:12,750 --> 01:15:15,125
It's good when people you like,
like each other.

1317
01:15:18,125 --> 01:15:19,958
People like to think of themselves

1318
01:15:20,041 --> 01:15:21,875
as points moving through time.

1319
01:15:22,791 --> 01:15:24,750
But I think it's probably the opposite.

1320
01:15:25,625 --> 01:15:26,958
We're stationary,

1321
01:15:27,333 --> 01:15:29,208
and time passes through us,

1322
01:15:29,916 --> 01:15:31,500
blowing like cold wind,

1323
01:15:32,583 --> 01:15:33,833
stealing our heat,

1324
01:15:33,916 --> 01:15:36,291
- leaving us chapped and frozen.
- What are you thinking?

1325
01:15:36,375 --> 01:15:38,875
I don't know, dead.

1326
01:15:40,208 --> 01:15:42,458
I feel like I was that wind tonight.

1327
01:15:43,166 --> 01:15:45,000
Blowing through Jake's parents.

1328
01:15:45,666 --> 01:15:48,416
Seeing them as they were,
seeing them as they will be.

1329
01:15:48,833 --> 01:15:50,916
- Seeing them after they're gone.
- What are you...

1330
01:15:51,000 --> 01:15:53,458
- When only I'm left.
- What are you thinking?

1331
01:15:53,541 --> 01:15:54,750
Only the wind.

1332
01:15:54,833 --> 01:15:55,958
Not much.

1333
01:15:59,333 --> 01:16:00,166
Really?

1334
01:16:00,250 --> 01:16:02,625
I'm tired, Jake. The wine, I guess.

1335
01:16:02,708 --> 01:16:03,833
Yes, you did have a lot.

1336
01:16:03,916 --> 01:16:04,833
Yes.

1337
01:16:05,375 --> 01:16:07,208
It is a depressant, as you know.

1338
01:16:07,291 --> 01:16:08,125
Of course I know.

1339
01:16:08,208 --> 01:16:11,666
I think it's important for people
to keep that in mind

1340
01:16:11,750 --> 01:16:14,125
before they make decisions
under its influence.

1341
01:16:24,541 --> 01:16:27,583
- A Woman Under the Influence.
- Amazing film.

1342
01:16:29,500 --> 01:16:30,958
I'm not sure I agree.

1343
01:16:34,000 --> 01:16:38,291
I've been watching that film over and over
for my essay due Wednesday.

1344
01:16:42,166 --> 01:16:44,375
I felt, uh, a kinship

1345
01:16:45,208 --> 01:16:46,625
with Mabel, I guess.

1346
01:16:47,250 --> 01:16:51,541
She's such a powerful,
horribly wronged character.

1347
01:16:51,625 --> 01:16:52,458
Is she?

1348
01:16:55,000 --> 01:16:55,875
I think...

1349
01:17:02,666 --> 01:17:04,333
Mabel Longhetti is bombed out

1350
01:17:04,416 --> 01:17:06,750
because she's always trying
to please everyone,

1351
01:17:08,166 --> 01:17:12,500
so that she can be considered one more
victim-heroine for the women's liberation.

1352
01:17:12,833 --> 01:17:15,500
But only by women liberationists

1353
01:17:15,583 --> 01:17:18,208
who are willing to accept
textbook spin-offs as art.

1354
01:17:18,291 --> 01:17:20,416
The Junoesque Gena Rowlands,

1355
01:17:20,500 --> 01:17:24,500
Mrs. Cassavetes, is a prodigious actress,
and she never lets go of the character.

1356
01:17:24,583 --> 01:17:27,458
I agree. I-I thought she was
great in the role.

1357
01:17:29,458 --> 01:17:32,916
- Seemed to me she... she encompassed...
- Now at an indeterminate age

1358
01:17:33,000 --> 01:17:35,250
when her beauty has deepened
beyond ingenue roles,

1359
01:17:35,333 --> 01:17:36,958
Rowlands can look old or young.

1360
01:17:37,041 --> 01:17:40,666
Shades of expression
transform Mabel Longhetti from...

1361
01:17:41,041 --> 01:17:43,625
a radiantly flirtatious beauty

1362
01:17:43,708 --> 01:17:45,958
into a sad, sagging neighborhood drunk.

1363
01:17:46,041 --> 01:17:49,250
Rowlands externalizes
schizophrenic dissolution.

1364
01:17:50,250 --> 01:17:52,625
Mabel fragments before your eyes.

1365
01:17:52,708 --> 01:17:55,500
A three-ring circus
might be taking place in her face.

1366
01:17:56,250 --> 01:17:59,500
Rowland's performance is enough
for half a dozen tours de force,

1367
01:17:59,583 --> 01:18:01,916
a whole row of Oscars. It's exhausting.

1368
01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:04,125
Conceivably,
she is a great actress, but...

1369
01:18:04,208 --> 01:18:07,291
nothing she does is memorable,
because she does so much.

1370
01:18:16,583 --> 01:18:19,875
It's the most transient
big performance I've ever seen.

1371
01:18:19,958 --> 01:18:23,250
I guess I'm unclear
what you mean by transient?

1372
01:18:26,666 --> 01:18:28,625
Mabel tries to slash her wrist,

1373
01:18:28,708 --> 01:18:30,375
Nick puts a band-aid on the cut.

1374
01:18:30,458 --> 01:18:32,625
The idiot symbolism is enough
to make you want to hoot,

1375
01:18:32,708 --> 01:18:34,458
but this two-hour and 35-minute movie

1376
01:18:34,541 --> 01:18:36,791
leaves you too groggy
to do more than moan.

1377
01:18:36,875 --> 01:18:40,625
Details that are meant to establish
the pathological nature

1378
01:18:40,708 --> 01:18:42,708
of the characters surrounding Mabel...

1379
01:18:42,791 --> 01:18:47,791
...and so show her isolation
become instead limp, false moments.

1380
01:18:48,208 --> 01:18:50,208
It's unclear whether the characters
are unconscious

1381
01:18:50,291 --> 01:18:53,666
or whether it's Cassavetes
who's unconscious of what he's doing.

1382
01:18:54,041 --> 01:18:56,375
The children keep murmuring
that they love her.

1383
01:18:56,833 --> 01:18:59,208
There's no clue
as how to decipher that refrain.

1384
01:18:59,583 --> 01:19:01,625
Are they coddling her?

1385
01:19:02,041 --> 01:19:05,541
Reversing roles and treating her
like a child in need of reassurance?

1386
01:19:05,625 --> 01:19:08,416
Or are they as unashamedly loving
as she is?

1387
01:19:08,500 --> 01:19:10,416
And what are... what are we to make

1388
01:19:10,500 --> 01:19:12,625
of Nick the Pulper's
constant assertations?

1389
01:19:12,708 --> 01:19:14,250
Is assertations even a word?

1390
01:19:14,333 --> 01:19:18,000
- I thought it was assertions.
- They're both words. Look it up.

1391
01:19:19,125 --> 01:19:22,208
What are we to make of Nick the Pulper's
constant assertations of love?

1392
01:19:22,291 --> 01:19:24,625
The... the movie is entirely tendentious.

1393
01:19:24,708 --> 01:19:27,291
It's all planned yet it isn't thought out.

1394
01:19:36,541 --> 01:19:38,291
I do see what you're saying.

1395
01:19:41,666 --> 01:19:46,583
You are certainly the expert
on things cinematic.

1396
01:19:46,666 --> 01:19:47,500
Yeah.

1397
01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:49,833
I am.

1398
01:19:53,541 --> 01:19:55,208
I-I guess I was just...

1399
01:19:56,333 --> 01:19:57,208
Taken in...

1400
01:19:57,875 --> 01:20:02,916
by the... the sympathy
that Cassavetes showed for her.

1401
01:20:03,625 --> 01:20:07,583
I feel like maybe our society
lacks a certain kindness,

1402
01:20:08,250 --> 01:20:14,625
a certain willingness
to take in the struggles of others...

1403
01:20:14,708 --> 01:20:19,708
...struggling with, uh,
issues caused by...

1404
01:20:19,791 --> 01:20:21,625
An alienating society?

1405
01:20:22,750 --> 01:20:23,791
I don't know.

1406
01:20:24,666 --> 01:20:26,041
Uh, I guess.

1407
01:20:26,458 --> 01:20:28,083
Yeah. It seems hopeless.

1408
01:20:31,208 --> 01:20:32,125
What does?

1409
01:20:34,875 --> 01:20:37,041
All of it. Uh, everything.

1410
01:20:37,125 --> 01:20:38,583
Like feeling old,

1411
01:20:38,666 --> 01:20:42,541
like your body is going,
your hearing, your sight.

1412
01:20:43,833 --> 01:20:46,666
You can't see, and you're invisible.

1413
01:20:48,083 --> 01:20:51,708
And you've made so many wrong turns.

1414
01:20:53,875 --> 01:20:54,833
The lie of it all.

1415
01:20:54,916 --> 01:20:57,375
- What is the lie of it all?
- I don't know! That...

1416
01:20:58,000 --> 01:21:00,166
it's going to get better,
that it's never too late,

1417
01:21:00,250 --> 01:21:01,458
that...

1418
01:21:01,541 --> 01:21:02,958
God has a plan for you.

1419
01:21:03,041 --> 01:21:05,333
- That age is just a number.
- Shut up.

1420
01:21:05,416 --> 01:21:06,250
That...

1421
01:21:07,375 --> 01:21:09,833
It's always darkest
before the dawn. That…

1422
01:21:11,041 --> 01:21:14,083
Every cloud has a fucking silver lining!

1423
01:21:17,125 --> 01:21:18,041
That there's...

1424
01:21:19,625 --> 01:21:21,958
That there's someone for everyone.

1425
01:21:22,291 --> 01:21:23,583
Platitudes all.

1426
01:21:27,041 --> 01:21:30,041
Shut up, Mabel! Sit down, Mabel!

1427
01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:40,291
And God never gives us
more than we can bear.

1428
01:21:40,958 --> 01:21:42,416
God's a good egg that way.

1429
01:21:45,333 --> 01:21:47,000
Hey, do you want something sweet?

1430
01:21:47,375 --> 01:21:48,291
What do you mean?

1431
01:21:48,375 --> 01:21:51,375
- Dessert.
- Didn't we have dessert at your mom's?

1432
01:21:51,458 --> 01:21:54,541
I feel like there was
this huge cake thing, or...

1433
01:21:56,000 --> 01:21:56,833
True.

1434
01:21:56,916 --> 01:21:59,166
I guess I'm a sugar junkie!

1435
01:22:00,500 --> 01:22:01,333
I don't know.

1436
01:22:04,833 --> 01:22:07,250
It might help me stay awake.

1437
01:22:07,333 --> 01:22:09,125
Then definitely!

1438
01:22:10,250 --> 01:22:13,041
We need Jake awake for a bit.
This is all so treacherous.

1439
01:22:13,458 --> 01:22:16,500
There's a Tulsey Town
just at the turn-off up ahead.

1440
01:22:16,833 --> 01:22:18,041
A Tulsey Town?

1441
01:22:19,541 --> 01:22:22,166
Open now? In this? It's freezing.

1442
01:22:22,625 --> 01:22:26,791
It is perfect weather for a Brrr.

1443
01:22:28,208 --> 01:22:29,333
Don't you think?

1444
01:22:29,416 --> 01:22:30,541
Yeah, I guess it is.

1445
01:22:40,833 --> 01:22:42,083
Tulsey Town.

1446
01:22:42,625 --> 01:22:43,666
Huh.

1447
01:22:45,125 --> 01:22:47,583
Jesus, I never thought of that before.

1448
01:22:50,041 --> 01:22:52,125
What do you suppose Tulsey Town is?

1449
01:22:52,208 --> 01:22:53,333
Based on the clown...

1450
01:22:54,666 --> 01:22:56,541
I'd say it's a circus town.

1451
01:22:57,250 --> 01:22:59,000
Maybe like that place...

1452
01:23:00,208 --> 01:23:03,791
uh, where the sideshow folks go
during off season.

1453
01:23:03,875 --> 01:23:06,166
- Ruled by the clown lady?
- Ah.

1454
01:23:06,541 --> 01:23:08,500
Well, yes, she wears a crown.

1455
01:23:08,583 --> 01:23:09,500
She has a...

1456
01:23:10,041 --> 01:23:11,791
clown crown?

1457
01:23:11,875 --> 01:23:16,833
A benevolent and tolerant
ice cream clown queen.

1458
01:23:16,916 --> 01:23:19,208
Made entirely of lactose.

1459
01:23:19,291 --> 01:23:21,458
She is lactose tolerant!

1460
01:23:21,541 --> 01:23:23,208
She's sweet but cold.

1461
01:23:23,291 --> 01:23:24,583
Like your mum.

1462
01:23:29,958 --> 01:23:30,791
What do you mean?

1463
01:23:30,875 --> 01:23:33,125
Nothing. I don't know why I said that.
That just came out.

1464
01:23:33,208 --> 01:23:35,458
- Did you think of my mother as cold?
- No.

1465
01:23:35,541 --> 01:23:38,208
Uh, she was lovely, she really was.

1466
01:23:38,291 --> 01:23:39,166
'Cause I don't...

1467
01:23:39,750 --> 01:23:41,083
subscribe to that,

1468
01:23:41,166 --> 01:23:44,666
the mother is the cause
of all psychological problems crap.

1469
01:23:44,750 --> 01:23:48,125
That's misogynistic claptrap.
Freudian bullshit.

1470
01:23:48,208 --> 01:23:49,416
It is tempting...

1471
01:23:50,166 --> 01:23:52,708
to have someone to pin it on, though.

1472
01:23:52,791 --> 01:23:53,750
Pin what on?

1473
01:23:55,208 --> 01:23:59,250
All of it. Why you feel a certain way,
why you are a certain way.

1474
01:24:01,166 --> 01:24:04,208
That's misogynistic claptrap.
Freudian bullshit.

1475
01:24:05,125 --> 01:24:08,125
A person, an adult, has to,
at one point or another,

1476
01:24:08,583 --> 01:24:11,333
take responsibility for who they are.

1477
01:24:13,625 --> 01:24:14,500
Don't you think?

1478
01:24:15,416 --> 01:24:16,250
- Yeah.
- Yes.

1479
01:24:16,333 --> 01:24:18,375
Mother's are people
with their own pain,

1480
01:24:18,458 --> 01:24:20,666
their own history of neglect and abuse.

1481
01:24:21,625 --> 01:24:23,708
Yet, at one time or another,

1482
01:24:23,791 --> 01:24:27,458
during the 20th century, every fucking
childhood trait was blamed on them:

1483
01:24:27,541 --> 01:24:30,666
schizophrenia, autism,
narcissism, homosexuality.

1484
01:24:30,750 --> 01:24:34,750
Not that homosexuality is akin
to any of those other things.

1485
01:24:34,833 --> 01:24:36,958
- Uh, yeah. Of course not.
- Obviously.

1486
01:24:37,041 --> 01:24:39,791
Saying that a mother is to blame
for her child's homosexuality

1487
01:24:39,875 --> 01:24:42,916
is to imply that homosexuality
is somehow negative.

1488
01:24:43,000 --> 01:24:47,916
I was just saying that when homosexuality
was considered a pathology

1489
01:24:48,000 --> 01:24:50,583
in the DSM before 1973,

1490
01:24:51,250 --> 01:24:53,416
a coddling mother

1491
01:24:54,916 --> 01:24:57,166
- was often seen as the culprit.
- Right.

1492
01:25:01,166 --> 01:25:05,958
It's despicable how we label people
and categorize them and dismiss them.

1493
01:25:06,916 --> 01:25:09,208
I look at the kids

1494
01:25:09,291 --> 01:25:11,625
I see at school every day.

1495
01:25:13,416 --> 01:25:15,791
I see the ones who are ostracized.
They're...

1496
01:25:16,416 --> 01:25:18,166
different. They're out of step.

1497
01:25:18,250 --> 01:25:21,166
And I see the lives they'll have
because of that.

1498
01:25:21,500 --> 01:25:26,625
Sometimes I see them years later,
in town, at the supermarket.

1499
01:25:32,291 --> 01:25:34,708
I see,

1500
01:25:34,791 --> 01:25:38,208
I can tell that they still carry
that stuff around with them.

1501
01:25:39,333 --> 01:25:40,250
Like a...

1502
01:25:41,208 --> 01:25:42,916
black aura.

1503
01:25:44,583 --> 01:25:46,250
Like a millstone.

1504
01:25:48,625 --> 01:25:50,208
Like an oozing wound.

1505
01:25:52,875 --> 01:25:53,708
Jake.

1506
01:25:55,166 --> 01:25:57,000
- I'm thinking...
- Here! Ta-da!

1507
01:26:00,708 --> 01:26:02,791
Oh. Man, that's brutal.

1508
01:26:04,083 --> 01:26:06,500
Brutal place, the land of Tulsey Town.

1509
01:26:09,916 --> 01:26:11,208
Climate change here too.

1510
01:26:11,708 --> 01:26:12,833
Have you read the novel Ice?

1511
01:26:12,916 --> 01:26:15,458
- I don't think so.
- By Anna Kavan?

1512
01:26:15,541 --> 01:26:16,416
I don't think so.

1513
01:26:17,166 --> 01:26:20,166
1967, it's a fable of sorts,
about...

1514
01:26:20,250 --> 01:26:22,250
Let's just get the ice cream and go,
it's freezing.

1515
01:26:22,333 --> 01:26:25,041
Wait a minute.
I just want to see who's on tonight first.

1516
01:26:25,125 --> 01:26:26,958
You know the people
who work here?

1517
01:26:27,541 --> 01:26:28,458
Some of them.

1518
01:26:29,250 --> 01:26:32,458
Well, I stop sometimes
after visiting my parents.

1519
01:26:32,833 --> 01:26:35,916
I don't like some of the girls
that work here, so I just wanna make sure.

1520
01:26:36,000 --> 01:26:38,875
- What's wrong with them?
- I don't know. People...

1521
01:26:39,458 --> 01:26:40,708
can be cold to me.

1522
01:26:40,791 --> 01:26:43,208
- Uh, I'm gonna wait in the car.
- No, no! Say hello.

1523
01:26:43,291 --> 01:26:45,750
They won't come if they know it's me.

1524
01:26:53,166 --> 01:26:55,375
- Hello, anybody here?
- In a minute!

1525
01:26:55,458 --> 01:26:57,666
So, Ice takes place...

1526
01:26:57,750 --> 01:26:58,708
during, uh...

1527
01:26:59,125 --> 01:27:01,833
an environmental cataclysm,
causing the world to become

1528
01:27:01,916 --> 01:27:04,541
a frozen wasteland.

1529
01:27:04,625 --> 01:27:05,541
And the main...

1530
01:27:06,875 --> 01:27:07,916
Hi!

1531
01:27:09,375 --> 01:27:10,250
Hi.

1532
01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:17,083
Can I help you, sir?

1533
01:27:22,625 --> 01:27:23,458
Uh...

1534
01:27:25,625 --> 01:27:27,625
So, yeah, uh, I'll have, uh...

1535
01:27:28,041 --> 01:27:29,083
Oreo Brr.

1536
01:27:29,166 --> 01:27:30,333
And he'll have...

1537
01:27:31,583 --> 01:27:32,458
Same.

1538
01:27:32,541 --> 01:27:33,916
Uh, two of those, please.

1539
01:27:35,708 --> 01:27:36,833
Two "sames."

1540
01:27:42,125 --> 01:27:44,458
Uh, sorry, uh, we need to get back
on the road.

1541
01:27:44,541 --> 01:27:47,666
So can we get them as quick
as... as... as possible?

1542
01:27:50,291 --> 01:27:52,041
Uh, sorry, hi.

1543
01:27:52,125 --> 01:27:55,000
Sorry about the smell, they're doing some
varnishing in the back.

1544
01:27:55,791 --> 01:27:56,625
Varnishing?

1545
01:27:57,833 --> 01:27:58,708
Shelves.

1546
01:27:59,416 --> 01:28:00,958
Oh. No problem.

1547
01:28:03,708 --> 01:28:05,833
I know this girl.
I've seen her somewhere.

1548
01:28:05,916 --> 01:28:07,916
I've seen her before, her... her face.

1549
01:28:08,000 --> 01:28:10,625
Her rash, I know her.
It's on the tip of my tongue.

1550
01:28:10,708 --> 01:28:12,833
Tip of my brain, as Jake says.

1551
01:28:12,916 --> 01:28:14,666
She's someone. She's from somewhere.

1552
01:28:15,291 --> 01:28:16,375
I'm certain of it.

1553
01:28:18,791 --> 01:28:20,500
It's a fucking blizzard out there.

1554
01:28:21,458 --> 01:28:23,166
Surprised you were open
on a night like this.

1555
01:28:23,250 --> 01:28:25,791
It's a fucking blizzard out there,
fucking Brrr in here.

1556
01:28:26,125 --> 01:28:27,250
Yeah, I-I...

1557
01:28:27,333 --> 01:28:29,166
I was thinking the exact same thing.

1558
01:28:32,500 --> 01:28:33,500
You're kind.

1559
01:28:33,583 --> 01:28:35,541
You're not like them.

1560
01:28:36,291 --> 01:28:39,458
Vapid and mean and pretty.

1561
01:28:40,875 --> 01:28:41,708
Thanks a lot.

1562
01:28:42,833 --> 01:28:44,208
I didn't mean it like that.

1563
01:28:46,125 --> 01:28:47,333
I love the way you look.

1564
01:28:47,416 --> 01:28:50,166
You... you have a kindness,
and of course you're very attractive.

1565
01:28:50,250 --> 01:28:52,916
- I didn't mean it like that.
- It's OK. I understand.

1566
01:28:54,000 --> 01:28:54,833
It's, uh...

1567
01:28:55,541 --> 01:28:56,750
It's just, there seem...

1568
01:28:57,250 --> 01:28:58,166
seems to be a...

1569
01:28:58,708 --> 01:29:02,041
certain hardness that comes
with a certain kind of pretty.

1570
01:29:02,125 --> 01:29:03,000
You don't have that.

1571
01:29:03,541 --> 01:29:06,625
Maybe they suffer too, the pretty ones.
I don't know, maybe...

1572
01:29:07,375 --> 01:29:09,666
maybe their prettiness
causes them suffering.

1573
01:29:10,791 --> 01:29:12,166
I'm not a psychiatrist.

1574
01:29:12,666 --> 01:29:16,458
What an odd thing to say.
Of course she's not a psychiatrist.

1575
01:29:16,541 --> 01:29:18,083
She can't be more than 15.

1576
01:29:18,166 --> 01:29:20,333
Made them extra high,
since you're so nice.

1577
01:29:21,000 --> 01:29:21,875
Thanks.

1578
01:29:22,375 --> 01:29:24,083
It'll be eight dollars, please?

1579
01:29:24,791 --> 01:29:25,791
Jake?

1580
01:29:36,291 --> 01:29:37,125
Keep the change.

1581
01:29:38,291 --> 01:29:40,291
- Thank you.
- You're welcome. Thanks.

1582
01:29:40,375 --> 01:29:41,208
I'm worried.

1583
01:29:43,500 --> 01:29:44,333
Excuse me?

1584
01:29:44,750 --> 01:29:46,083
I shouldn't be saying this.

1585
01:29:46,166 --> 01:29:48,416
You OK? Do you need me to call for help?

1586
01:29:48,500 --> 01:29:49,833
It's not varnish.

1587
01:29:51,750 --> 01:29:53,750
That's not why it smells.
You should know that.

1588
01:29:53,833 --> 01:29:54,666
What do you mean?

1589
01:29:55,208 --> 01:29:57,458
- You don't have to go.
- I don't have to go where?

1590
01:29:57,916 --> 01:30:00,333
Forward, in time. You...

1591
01:30:01,458 --> 01:30:02,541
you can stay here.

1592
01:30:05,083 --> 01:30:06,083
I'm very scared.

1593
01:30:06,166 --> 01:30:08,041
About what? What are you scared about?

1594
01:30:08,125 --> 01:30:10,000
- I'm scared for you.
- Thank you.

1595
01:30:12,375 --> 01:30:14,708
Have a good night. Be careful.
The roads are treacherous.

1596
01:30:40,750 --> 01:30:42,458
You notice that girl's arms?

1597
01:30:42,541 --> 01:30:44,583
- Which girl?
- In the Tulsey Town.

1598
01:30:45,916 --> 01:30:48,416
Which girl? There were... several.

1599
01:30:48,500 --> 01:30:50,541
Several? There were three.

1600
01:30:50,625 --> 01:30:52,791
Several is anything more than two.

1601
01:30:52,875 --> 01:30:53,750
Really?

1602
01:30:53,833 --> 01:30:55,250
Mm-hmm. Look it up.

1603
01:30:55,333 --> 01:30:57,375
Look it up?
Can you stop saying that?

1604
01:30:59,166 --> 01:31:02,125
Anyway, the one... the one with the rash
all over her arms.

1605
01:31:02,208 --> 01:31:03,416
I didn't notice.

1606
01:31:03,500 --> 01:31:05,000
You're being willfully obtuse.

1607
01:31:06,958 --> 01:31:08,250
Not my intention.

1608
01:31:08,333 --> 01:31:09,958
"Not my intention."

1609
01:31:11,541 --> 01:31:12,375
Anyway.

1610
01:31:17,916 --> 01:31:19,666
How's the Brrr?

1611
01:31:20,208 --> 01:31:21,833
- Too sweet?
- Yeah, it's sweet.

1612
01:31:21,916 --> 01:31:23,833
I always forget how sweet these are.

1613
01:31:23,916 --> 01:31:26,125
A little goes a long way.

1614
01:31:27,500 --> 01:31:29,500
I don't think I can eat anymore of mine.

1615
01:31:29,958 --> 01:31:31,166
You barely touched it.

1616
01:31:32,333 --> 01:31:34,625
It's very sweet.

1617
01:31:35,625 --> 01:31:36,458
Yeah.

1618
01:31:37,375 --> 01:31:38,291
It is a lot.

1619
01:31:42,625 --> 01:31:45,250
- Cold?
- Yeah. The ice cream, I guess.

1620
01:31:48,666 --> 01:31:51,000
We're in the middle of a snow storm.

1621
01:31:52,291 --> 01:31:55,833
Whose idea was it to go to Tulsey Town
in the middle of all this, anyway?

1622
01:31:55,916 --> 01:31:58,125
I am not saying a word.

1623
01:32:03,333 --> 01:32:04,500
How odd.

1624
01:32:05,041 --> 01:32:08,166
This is probably the last time
I'll ever be in a car with Jake.

1625
01:32:08,750 --> 01:32:10,708
Soon this'll all be a distant memory.

1626
01:32:11,500 --> 01:32:13,958
We'll both be in different places,

1627
01:32:14,041 --> 01:32:15,458
remembering this moment.

1628
01:32:16,333 --> 01:32:17,625
This shared laugh.

1629
01:32:18,125 --> 01:32:19,708
And maybe there'll be regret.

1630
01:32:23,750 --> 01:32:26,166
Maybe time will soften
the harder edges, and...

1631
01:32:26,791 --> 01:32:29,958
we'll both think that was sort of nice.

1632
01:32:31,625 --> 01:32:34,708
Why did it have to end?
And there's no way back at that point.

1633
01:32:35,666 --> 01:32:37,833
There's never a way back.

1634
01:32:37,916 --> 01:32:41,125
- You got quiet all of a sudden.
- Just watching the storm.

1635
01:32:42,291 --> 01:32:45,458
If you can't even tell the other person
what you're thinking,

1636
01:32:45,541 --> 01:32:48,000
- that doesn't bode well.
- Looks like you're done with it.

1637
01:32:49,125 --> 01:32:49,958
What do you mean?

1638
01:32:54,041 --> 01:32:56,291
Bit of a wasted stop.

1639
01:32:56,375 --> 01:33:00,000
At least I can say I've been
to Tulsey Town in the middle of the night,

1640
01:33:00,083 --> 01:33:02,791
in the middle of nowhere,
in the middle of a snowstorm.

1641
01:33:34,875 --> 01:33:37,041
That's something I'll never do again.

1642
01:33:37,125 --> 01:33:39,375
A supposedly fun thing
you'll never do again.

1643
01:33:39,458 --> 01:33:41,416
- Yes.
- Have you... have you read that?

1644
01:33:41,500 --> 01:33:42,375
Read what?

1645
01:33:43,541 --> 01:33:45,916
It's a book of essays
by David Foster Wallace.

1646
01:33:47,416 --> 01:33:48,875
Nope. I have not.

1647
01:33:50,791 --> 01:33:52,791
It's a book... a book of essays.

1648
01:33:52,875 --> 01:33:54,541
Ah. No, I haven't read it.

1649
01:33:58,000 --> 01:34:00,583
We should... we should find some place
to dump these.

1650
01:34:00,666 --> 01:34:04,083
They're going to melt
and get the cup holders all sticky.

1651
01:34:04,166 --> 01:34:05,083
Hmm.

1652
01:34:05,541 --> 01:34:06,375
OK.

1653
01:34:08,916 --> 01:34:09,750
Hmm.

1654
01:34:10,791 --> 01:34:13,500
He's got this essay in it
about television.

1655
01:34:14,958 --> 01:34:16,708
Pretty people tend to appeal...

1656
01:34:21,083 --> 01:34:25,000
Pretty people tend to be
more pleasing to look at

1657
01:34:25,708 --> 01:34:27,041
than non-pretty people.

1658
01:34:27,125 --> 01:34:28,916
But when we're talking about television,

1659
01:34:29,000 --> 01:34:32,625
the combination of sheer audience size
and quiet psychic intercourse

1660
01:34:32,708 --> 01:34:34,208
between images and oglers

1661
01:34:34,291 --> 01:34:37,750
starts a cycle that both enhances
pretty images' appeal

1662
01:34:37,833 --> 01:34:40,833
and erodes us viewers'
own sense of security

1663
01:34:40,916 --> 01:34:42,833
in the face of gazes.

1664
01:34:44,750 --> 01:34:47,333
That... that's from the essay.

1665
01:34:48,416 --> 01:34:49,250
That's...

1666
01:34:49,583 --> 01:34:50,625
that's interesting.

1667
01:34:51,291 --> 01:34:52,125
He killed himself.

1668
01:34:52,916 --> 01:34:55,000
Yeah. Yeah, I-I think I knew that.

1669
01:34:55,083 --> 01:34:56,708
Yeah, everybody knows it.

1670
01:34:56,791 --> 01:35:00,250
Even people who know nothing else
about David Foster Wallace,

1671
01:35:00,333 --> 01:35:02,000
never read a word of his writing.

1672
01:35:02,916 --> 01:35:05,666
Suicide becomes the story.

1673
01:35:06,708 --> 01:35:07,833
The mythology.

1674
01:35:08,916 --> 01:35:12,000
The cautionary tale. It's obnoxious.

1675
01:35:13,458 --> 01:35:14,750
It's obnoxious.

1676
01:35:15,375 --> 01:35:18,583
I don't think we know how
to be human anymore.

1677
01:35:19,291 --> 01:35:20,125
Who doesn't?

1678
01:35:20,208 --> 01:35:23,333
Our society, our culture, people.

1679
01:35:24,666 --> 01:35:27,333
Whatever all this is.

1680
01:35:28,291 --> 01:35:29,250
Any of us.

1681
01:35:32,041 --> 01:35:34,708
Well, have you ever read
any Guy Debord?

1682
01:35:37,166 --> 01:35:39,875
- The Society of the Spectacle?
- Exactly. Yes.

1683
01:35:40,375 --> 01:35:41,750
Yes. Of course.

1684
01:35:42,625 --> 01:35:43,750
Debord says...

1685
01:35:44,958 --> 01:35:48,250
"The spectacle cannot be understood
as a mere visual deception

1686
01:35:48,666 --> 01:35:50,791
produced by mass media technologies.

1687
01:35:52,166 --> 01:35:54,250
It is a worldview
that has actually been materialized."

1688
01:35:54,333 --> 01:35:57,708
Watch the world through this glass,

1689
01:35:58,250 --> 01:35:59,875
pre-interpreted for us.

1690
01:35:59,958 --> 01:36:03,000
And it infects our brains. We become it.

1691
01:36:03,833 --> 01:36:05,125
Like a virus.

1692
01:36:13,208 --> 01:36:17,666
Listen, these... these melting things
are... are driving me crazy.

1693
01:36:17,750 --> 01:36:20,583
They're going to get
everything all sticky.

1694
01:36:20,666 --> 01:36:23,208
Well, have you got a plastic bag
or something?

1695
01:36:23,291 --> 01:36:25,208
- No, no, nothing like that.
- A napkin maybe?

1696
01:36:25,291 --> 01:36:27,333
I want to find a place to dump them.

1697
01:36:27,875 --> 01:36:30,291
Well, there doesn't seem
to be anything around here.

1698
01:36:31,291 --> 01:36:35,208
There's a small road
up ahead of us that I know of.

1699
01:36:36,208 --> 01:36:38,750
- There'll... there'll be a garbage can.
- I don't know.

1700
01:36:38,833 --> 01:36:40,833
May... maybe we should just head home.

1701
01:36:43,791 --> 01:36:44,666
To the farm?

1702
01:36:44,750 --> 01:36:46,500
No. To the city.

1703
01:36:47,208 --> 01:36:48,916
I'm worried
we're gonna get stuck out here.

1704
01:36:49,000 --> 01:36:51,833
If we turn off the main road
and get stuck, no one's gonna find us.

1705
01:36:51,916 --> 01:36:53,125
It's not...

1706
01:36:53,208 --> 01:36:56,041
I'm not going to feel right if I don't

1707
01:36:56,125 --> 01:36:58,416
get rid of these. It'll prey on my mind.

1708
01:36:58,500 --> 01:36:59,833
OK? Shit.

1709
01:37:00,333 --> 01:37:01,166
Shit.

1710
01:37:01,625 --> 01:37:04,541
Hey, hey! It's not... it's... it's not...

1711
01:37:04,625 --> 01:37:05,458
it's...

1712
01:37:05,791 --> 01:37:07,125
it's not a big deal.

1713
01:37:07,625 --> 01:37:08,458
Really.

1714
01:37:10,166 --> 01:37:12,208
I know that, Ames.

1715
01:37:12,916 --> 01:37:14,583
- Ames?
- I know that.

1716
01:37:15,458 --> 01:37:17,291
Is that short for Amy?

1717
01:37:18,125 --> 01:37:19,375
That doesn't sound right.

1718
01:37:20,208 --> 01:37:21,791
That doesn't seem like my name.

1719
01:37:22,250 --> 01:37:23,375
Or my nickname.

1720
01:37:23,458 --> 01:37:25,000
Let's go here, real quick.

1721
01:37:28,333 --> 01:37:29,958
And I'll get to show you my high school.

1722
01:37:30,833 --> 01:37:31,666
This...

1723
01:37:32,083 --> 01:37:33,333
this goes to a high school?

1724
01:37:33,416 --> 01:37:37,541
My high school,
where I spent every tortured day.

1725
01:37:37,625 --> 01:37:38,875
For so long.

1726
01:37:39,375 --> 01:37:42,416
For so goddamn... long.

1727
01:37:42,500 --> 01:37:45,458
Can we just turn around?
This doesn't feel right.

1728
01:37:46,083 --> 01:37:48,208
I don't understand.
It's just a... a high school.

1729
01:37:48,291 --> 01:37:50,291
- It feels wrong.
- I can't turn around.

1730
01:37:50,375 --> 01:37:51,541
The road is too narrow.

1731
01:37:52,083 --> 01:37:57,083
I'll just get to the school,
we'll dump the cups, and we'll leave.

1732
01:37:57,166 --> 01:37:58,625
-OK-No, I-I-I don't...

1733
01:37:58,708 --> 01:38:00,333
I don't know what this is.

1734
01:38:00,416 --> 01:38:03,916
It doesn't make any sense to me.
How do school buses get down here?

1735
01:38:04,000 --> 01:38:05,791
It's a rural high school.

1736
01:38:05,875 --> 01:38:08,833
Yeah, I went... I grew up on a farm.
I went to a rural high school.

1737
01:38:08,916 --> 01:38:10,916
We... There was a... there was a...

1738
01:38:11,000 --> 01:38:14,375
...a normal entrance
with a paved fucking road.

1739
01:38:14,458 --> 01:38:17,041
It's fine. Everything is tinged.

1740
01:38:17,958 --> 01:38:21,333
OK? That's the thing
you have to realize.

1741
01:38:21,416 --> 01:38:24,833
- It's tinged?
- Colored by mood, by emotion,

1742
01:38:24,916 --> 01:38:26,416
by past experience.

1743
01:38:26,500 --> 01:38:29,750
There is no objective reality.

1744
01:38:30,333 --> 01:38:33,291
You know there's no color
in the universe, right?

1745
01:38:33,375 --> 01:38:36,041
Only in the brain.

1746
01:38:36,125 --> 01:38:39,375
Just electromagnetic frequencies,
the brain tinges them.

1747
01:38:39,458 --> 01:38:42,250
Yes, I am a physicist.
I know what color is.

1748
01:38:42,333 --> 01:38:44,000
Yes, yes. Yes, you are.

1749
01:38:45,250 --> 01:38:46,166
You do.

1750
01:38:46,250 --> 01:38:47,958
Color is the deeds of light.

1751
01:38:50,375 --> 01:38:52,125
It's the deeds and suffering.

1752
01:38:54,083 --> 01:38:55,125
That's beautiful.

1753
01:38:58,666 --> 01:39:00,958
It's not physicist talk,

1754
01:39:02,375 --> 01:39:04,958
but eminently poetic.

1755
01:39:05,291 --> 01:39:07,625
Yeah, well, I am a poet after all.

1756
01:39:07,708 --> 01:39:09,375
You are. It's beautiful.

1757
01:39:09,458 --> 01:39:12,416
- This road seems excessively long.
- Seems.

1758
01:39:12,500 --> 01:39:13,916
That's the operative word.

1759
01:39:14,000 --> 01:39:16,916
Time is another thing
that exists only in the brain.

1760
01:39:17,000 --> 01:39:20,083
- And yet we get older.
- Older and older, older and older.

1761
01:39:20,791 --> 01:39:23,166
Or so it seems.

1762
01:39:23,625 --> 01:39:24,833
Sometimes I feel...

1763
01:39:25,666 --> 01:39:27,625
I'm much younger

1764
01:39:28,291 --> 01:39:31,166
than I actually am,
like still a kid inside,

1765
01:39:31,250 --> 01:39:33,291
until I pass a mirror.

1766
01:39:33,375 --> 01:39:35,625
- Is younger better?
- Yes.

1767
01:39:36,208 --> 01:39:39,375
I think so. It's admirable.

1768
01:39:40,250 --> 01:39:41,916
Youth is admirable?

1769
01:39:44,041 --> 01:39:46,458
How can you admire a person for their age?

1770
01:39:46,833 --> 01:39:49,583
It's like admiring a certain point
in a stream.

1771
01:39:51,000 --> 01:39:52,458
It's healthier,

1772
01:39:53,083 --> 01:39:54,208
it's brighter,

1773
01:39:55,250 --> 01:39:56,583
it's more fun.

1774
01:39:57,333 --> 01:39:59,166
More attractive, hopeful.

1775
01:40:00,125 --> 01:40:01,708
Like a Coca-Cola commercial.

1776
01:40:01,791 --> 01:40:03,875
Almost all groundbreaking work

1777
01:40:04,833 --> 01:40:07,791
in science and the arts
is done by young people.

1778
01:40:07,875 --> 01:40:10,125
Old people are the ash heap of youth.

1779
01:40:10,208 --> 01:40:12,375
Listen, Jake,
I-I'm thinking that we need to...

1780
01:40:12,458 --> 01:40:13,500
Ta-da!

1781
01:40:15,500 --> 01:40:18,083
Wow.
I didn't expect anything so enormous.

1782
01:40:18,166 --> 01:40:20,500
One hundred and thirty classrooms,

1783
01:40:20,583 --> 01:40:24,041
a gymnasium, two locker rooms,
boys, girls,

1784
01:40:24,125 --> 01:40:27,708
auditorium, ten bathrooms,
six administrative offices,

1785
01:40:28,375 --> 01:40:29,458
teachers' lounge,

1786
01:40:30,291 --> 01:40:31,333
counselor's center.

1787
01:40:31,416 --> 01:40:34,333
It's regional, so 11 towns feed into it.

1788
01:40:35,125 --> 01:40:36,750
Well, you certainly know your high school.

1789
01:40:36,833 --> 01:40:38,166
Like the back of my hand.

1790
01:40:45,166 --> 01:40:47,375
- There's someone here.
- School maintenance?

1791
01:40:47,458 --> 01:40:48,958
Janitor? Something.

1792
01:40:49,458 --> 01:40:50,291
Ah.

1793
01:40:50,375 --> 01:40:51,416
What?

1794
01:40:51,500 --> 01:40:52,333
There.

1795
01:40:52,666 --> 01:40:54,833
Trash can. I knew it. Be right back.

1796
01:41:24,958 --> 01:41:26,125
Come on!

1797
01:41:26,833 --> 01:41:27,750
Good. Yes, yes!

1798
01:41:31,000 --> 01:41:31,916
Where were you?

1799
01:41:32,000 --> 01:41:35,750
That bin was filled with road salt
for the...

1800
01:41:36,500 --> 01:41:37,333
ice.

1801
01:41:37,750 --> 01:41:39,000
I remembered there's a...

1802
01:41:39,375 --> 01:41:42,083
a dumpster on the other side
near the loading docks.

1803
01:41:42,541 --> 01:41:44,250
- Mission accomplished.
- Let's go.

1804
01:41:44,333 --> 01:41:45,333
It's humid in here.

1805
01:41:52,083 --> 01:41:53,083
Kind of peaceful.

1806
01:41:53,166 --> 01:41:55,375
More creepy than peaceful, I'd say.

1807
01:41:55,458 --> 01:41:56,958
- I don't agree.
- I want to go.

1808
01:41:57,041 --> 01:41:59,041
- What's the rush all of a sudden?
- All of the sudden?

1809
01:41:59,125 --> 01:42:03,083
I've been like a broken record all night,
telling you that I wanted to go home.

1810
01:42:03,166 --> 01:42:07,625
I've given you like 40 reasons
why I need to get back tonight.

1811
01:42:14,708 --> 01:42:16,416
- I guess that's true.
- You guess?

1812
01:42:19,166 --> 01:42:20,541
I just thought...

1813
01:42:20,625 --> 01:42:21,500
You know.

1814
01:42:23,875 --> 01:42:26,208
It's peaceful and quiet here.

1815
01:42:29,750 --> 01:42:31,291
Baby, it's cold outside.

1816
01:42:32,208 --> 01:42:33,041
Really?

1817
01:42:35,541 --> 01:42:37,416
You're gonna quote a rape song at me?

1818
01:42:39,166 --> 01:42:40,083
It's not a...

1819
01:42:40,625 --> 01:42:41,750
it's not a rape song.

1820
01:42:41,833 --> 01:42:44,375
She keeps saying she wants to leave.
He keeps ignoring her.

1821
01:42:44,458 --> 01:42:45,708
What would you call that?

1822
01:42:47,583 --> 01:42:50,875
She wants to stay. She's just afraid
of what people will think.

1823
01:42:50,958 --> 01:42:53,833
She asks him, "What have you put
in my damn drink?"

1824
01:42:54,208 --> 01:42:57,875
Jesus. The song was written in 1936.

1825
01:42:57,958 --> 01:43:00,166
It's not about roofies!

1826
01:43:00,250 --> 01:43:03,416
Roofies or not, he's trying to break down
her defenses with strong liquor.

1827
01:43:03,500 --> 01:43:05,750
And anyway, they had mickeys in the '30s.

1828
01:43:05,833 --> 01:43:07,291
It's a song about coercion.

1829
01:43:09,666 --> 01:43:11,750
I don't know why you're getting so angry.

1830
01:43:11,833 --> 01:43:12,875
I just want to go home.

1831
01:43:12,958 --> 01:43:15,625
- To the farmhouse?
- Not to the fucking farmhouse,

1832
01:43:15,708 --> 01:43:16,875
to my house!

1833
01:43:17,416 --> 01:43:18,916
Jake, my house!

1834
01:43:19,000 --> 01:43:20,250
OK.

1835
01:43:20,333 --> 01:43:22,208
Thank you.

1836
01:43:22,291 --> 01:43:24,916
And then... and then he says,
"what's the point in hurting my pride,"

1837
01:43:25,000 --> 01:43:27,666
like it's her job to make this guy
feel sexually attractive.

1838
01:43:27,750 --> 01:43:29,666
Regardless of her own desires,
like that's...

1839
01:43:29,750 --> 01:43:31,291
like that's her responsibility.

1840
01:43:31,375 --> 01:43:32,416
I see that.

1841
01:43:34,541 --> 01:43:36,583
You have convinced me. I'm sorry.

1842
01:43:48,958 --> 01:43:50,000
I'm sorry.

1843
01:43:53,125 --> 01:43:54,041
It's all right.

1844
01:44:14,250 --> 01:44:15,416
Jesus.

1845
01:44:15,500 --> 01:44:16,708
What? What?

1846
01:44:17,875 --> 01:44:19,333
There was someone watching us.

1847
01:44:19,416 --> 01:44:21,541
- I didn't see anyone.
- Well, he was watching us.

1848
01:44:21,625 --> 01:44:23,083
Like... like a goddamn pervert.

1849
01:44:23,166 --> 01:44:25,250
- Let's go.
- Believe me, I'm very familiar

1850
01:44:25,333 --> 01:44:26,708
with that particular look.

1851
01:44:26,791 --> 01:44:29,458
Jake, I just...
What the hell does that mean?

1852
01:44:29,541 --> 01:44:31,166
I'm going to give him a piece of my mind.

1853
01:44:31,250 --> 01:44:33,166
- Jake, don't be ridiculous.
- It's not acceptable.

1854
01:44:33,250 --> 01:44:35,041
- Jake, let's just go.
- No.

1855
01:44:35,125 --> 01:44:38,375
- You don't...
- I'll be right back. This...

1856
01:44:41,791 --> 01:44:42,625
It...

1857
01:44:42,708 --> 01:44:44,875
- It's unacceptable!
- Let's go! Jake, let's just go!

1858
01:44:44,958 --> 01:44:47,625
- I'll be right back.
- Don't! Jake! Don't, please!

1859
01:44:50,166 --> 01:44:51,000
Jake!

1860
01:44:53,083 --> 01:44:54,166
Crap!

1861
01:44:57,791 --> 01:44:59,666
Oh, I shouldn't have come.
I shouldn't have come.

1862
01:45:02,375 --> 01:45:04,125
Aah, fuck!

1863
01:45:10,208 --> 01:45:12,791
It's hard to say no.
I was never taught that.

1864
01:45:13,958 --> 01:45:15,625
It's easier just to say yes.

1865
01:45:16,916 --> 01:45:18,708
Anyway, sometimes
you're just caught off guard.

1866
01:45:18,791 --> 01:45:20,958
And the request comes,
can I have your number?

1867
01:45:21,041 --> 01:45:22,916
And the easiest way out of it
is just to say yes,

1868
01:45:23,000 --> 01:45:25,916
and then that yes turns into more yes,
and then it's yes, yes, yes.

1869
01:45:39,625 --> 01:45:41,166
He's not a monster, he...

1870
01:45:46,666 --> 01:45:47,500
Jake?

1871
01:45:58,083 --> 01:45:59,250
He doesn't beat you.

1872
01:46:00,208 --> 01:46:01,041
Right?

1873
01:46:03,000 --> 01:46:04,875
I'm certain the sex has been good.

1874
01:46:04,958 --> 01:46:06,333
At least some of the time.

1875
01:46:06,791 --> 01:46:07,625
Just...

1876
01:46:09,458 --> 01:46:11,750
How long does it take to get hypothermia?

1877
01:46:12,958 --> 01:46:13,791
Eh...

1878
01:46:15,291 --> 01:46:17,875
Maybe it's not a bad way to go
if I have to go.

1879
01:46:34,083 --> 01:46:34,916
Jake?

1880
01:46:36,541 --> 01:46:37,375
Jake?

1881
01:46:40,000 --> 01:46:41,166
Jake!

1882
01:46:42,375 --> 01:46:45,333
Shit, shit, shit!

1883
01:46:46,875 --> 01:46:48,083
Oh, my God.

1884
01:46:49,500 --> 01:46:51,291
Piece of shit! Shit!

1885
01:46:52,000 --> 01:46:53,416
Shit, shit!

1886
01:46:59,458 --> 01:47:00,333
Oh, God.

1887
01:48:21,625 --> 01:48:22,458
Jake?

1888
01:48:26,750 --> 01:48:29,166
Jake, I wanna go. Please?

1889
01:49:01,791 --> 01:49:02,791
Ah.

1890
01:49:19,833 --> 01:49:20,666
Oh...

1891
01:49:21,750 --> 01:49:22,583
Hello.

1892
01:49:24,208 --> 01:49:25,083
Hello.

1893
01:49:26,208 --> 01:49:28,041
I'm sorry. M-My...

1894
01:49:28,125 --> 01:49:29,333
My boyfriend came in here.

1895
01:49:29,416 --> 01:49:32,000
I think he went to school here
a while back.

1896
01:49:34,833 --> 01:49:36,791
Maybe you know him, I.. I... I don't...

1897
01:49:36,875 --> 01:49:39,208
I don't... I don't know
if you were here when...

1898
01:49:39,291 --> 01:49:40,666
when he was a student.

1899
01:49:40,750 --> 01:49:43,041
I mean, how would I know? Anyway, I...

1900
01:49:43,500 --> 01:49:45,750
You haven't seen anyone around here,
have you?

1901
01:49:47,083 --> 01:49:49,166
What does your boyfriend
look like?

1902
01:49:53,916 --> 01:49:55,625
It's hard to describe people.

1903
01:50:00,041 --> 01:50:02,583
It was so long ago, I barely remember.

1904
01:50:03,791 --> 01:50:04,625
I mean...

1905
01:50:07,833 --> 01:50:09,125
We never even talked,

1906
01:50:09,666 --> 01:50:12,958
is the truth. I'm not even sure
I registered him. There's a lot of people.

1907
01:50:13,041 --> 01:50:14,708
I was there with my girlfriend...

1908
01:50:15,208 --> 01:50:16,791
We were celebrating our anniversary,

1909
01:50:16,875 --> 01:50:18,875
stopped in for a drink,
and then this guy

1910
01:50:19,208 --> 01:50:20,375
kept looking at me.

1911
01:50:20,875 --> 01:50:22,125
It's a nuisance.

1912
01:50:22,541 --> 01:50:25,000
The occupational hazard of...
of being a female.

1913
01:50:25,083 --> 01:50:27,416
You can't even go for a drink.
Always being looked at.

1914
01:50:27,500 --> 01:50:29,500
He was a creeper! You know?

1915
01:50:31,541 --> 01:50:34,750
And I remember thinking,
I wish my boyfriend was here.

1916
01:50:35,416 --> 01:50:36,583
Which is...

1917
01:50:36,666 --> 01:50:37,625
That's sort of sad,

1918
01:50:37,708 --> 01:50:40,500
that being a woman,
the only way a guy leaves you alone

1919
01:50:40,583 --> 01:50:42,000
is if you're with another guy.

1920
01:50:42,083 --> 01:50:43,083
Like, if... like...

1921
01:50:43,166 --> 01:50:45,541
like you've been claimed.
Like you're property, even then.

1922
01:50:45,625 --> 01:50:46,708
Anyway, I can't...

1923
01:50:48,083 --> 01:50:50,125
I can't remember what he looks like.

1924
01:50:52,000 --> 01:50:53,000
Why would I?

1925
01:50:54,958 --> 01:50:56,125
Nothing happened.

1926
01:50:58,208 --> 01:50:59,250
Maybe it was just...

1927
01:51:00,958 --> 01:51:02,083
I think it was just...

1928
01:51:02,458 --> 01:51:07,041
Just one of thousands
of such non-interactions in my life.

1929
01:51:15,500 --> 01:51:18,958
It's like asking me to describe
a mosquito that bit me

1930
01:51:19,041 --> 01:51:21,000
on an evening 40 years ago.

1931
01:51:28,416 --> 01:51:31,625
Well, you haven't seen anyone
fitting that description, have you?

1932
01:51:31,708 --> 01:51:32,958
I haven't seen anyone.

1933
01:51:35,291 --> 01:51:36,250
OK.

1934
01:51:37,000 --> 01:51:37,833
I mean...

1935
01:51:38,500 --> 01:51:40,041
except you. I see you.

1936
01:51:50,375 --> 01:51:51,250
I'm... I'm...

1937
01:51:52,666 --> 01:51:54,291
I'm a little worried about him.

1938
01:51:55,833 --> 01:51:57,791
I'm sure there's no need.

1939
01:51:59,583 --> 01:52:01,208
He's safe if he's here.

1940
01:52:02,333 --> 01:52:03,541
It's safe in here.

1941
01:52:04,583 --> 01:52:05,750
It's quiet.

1942
01:52:26,708 --> 01:52:28,791
Is it OK if I look around for him?

1943
01:52:33,791 --> 01:52:36,916
Maybe take your wet shoes off.
I've just cleaned the floors.

1944
01:52:44,541 --> 01:52:45,375
No...

1945
01:52:46,666 --> 01:52:47,708
They're yours.

1946
01:53:08,583 --> 01:53:09,416
Bye.

1947
01:53:10,625 --> 01:53:11,458
Yeah.

1948
01:53:12,333 --> 01:53:13,166
Bye.

1949
01:53:30,416 --> 01:53:31,250
Jake?

1950
01:53:34,708 --> 01:53:35,583
Jake?

1951
01:53:37,333 --> 01:53:38,166
Jake?

1952
02:00:36,875 --> 02:00:37,708
Ah.

1953
02:01:41,958 --> 02:01:42,791
Ah!

1954
02:01:50,916 --> 02:01:51,750
Aah!

1955
02:02:53,583 --> 02:02:54,708
- Oh.
- Come.

1956
02:02:56,041 --> 02:02:56,875
Join me.

1957
02:03:18,333 --> 02:03:20,833
It's not bad once you stop
feeling sorry for yourself

1958
02:03:20,916 --> 02:03:22,250
because you're just a pig,

1959
02:03:22,666 --> 02:03:25,791
or, even worse,
a pig infested with maggots.

1960
02:03:25,875 --> 02:03:28,500
Someone has to be
a pig infested with maggots, right?

1961
02:03:29,166 --> 02:03:31,791
It might as well be you.
It's the luck of the draw.

1962
02:03:32,083 --> 02:03:35,791
You play the hand you're dealt.
You make lemonade. You... you move on.

1963
02:03:35,875 --> 02:03:37,208
You don't worry about a thing.

1964
02:03:37,291 --> 02:03:40,500
- That song has always made me cry.
- I've always loved it.

1965
02:03:40,583 --> 02:03:44,375
There is kindness in the world, you know?
You have to search for it, but it's there.

1966
02:03:44,458 --> 02:03:46,625
- You're kind.
- Eh, I'm just evolving.

1967
02:03:46,708 --> 02:03:49,958
Even now, even as a ghost, as a memory.

1968
02:03:50,041 --> 02:03:51,375
As dust, as you will.

1969
02:03:51,458 --> 02:03:52,333
We're the same.

1970
02:03:52,416 --> 02:03:54,875
Everything is the same
when you look close enough.

1971
02:03:55,208 --> 02:03:56,833
As a physicist, you know that.

1972
02:03:56,916 --> 02:04:00,208
You, me, ideas. We're all one thing.

1973
02:04:01,208 --> 02:04:02,333
Let's get you dressed.

1974
02:04:12,916 --> 02:04:13,750
Thank you.

1975
02:04:16,625 --> 02:04:17,458
Thank you.

1976
02:04:25,333 --> 02:04:26,416
I accept.

1977
02:04:29,000 --> 02:04:30,250
I accept...

1978
02:04:32,666 --> 02:04:33,541
it all.

1979
02:04:34,458 --> 02:04:36,583
Accept your acknowledgment,

1980
02:04:37,125 --> 02:04:38,750
this... award.

1981
02:04:39,166 --> 02:04:40,666
I accept all...

1982
02:04:41,541 --> 02:04:42,791
that it entails.

1983
02:04:44,041 --> 02:04:45,625
That this award comes...

1984
02:04:46,750 --> 02:04:51,125
near the end of a long, fruitful life,

1985
02:04:53,333 --> 02:04:55,583
in acknowledgment for the work I did

1986
02:04:56,125 --> 02:04:57,458
decades ago.

1987
02:04:58,083 --> 02:05:02,291
My quest has taken me
through the physical, the metaphysical,

1988
02:05:03,000 --> 02:05:03,958
the delusional...

1989
02:05:05,416 --> 02:05:06,416
And back.

1990
02:05:07,375 --> 02:05:10,000
And I have made the most important...

1991
02:05:11,041 --> 02:05:13,958
discovery of my career...

1992
02:05:15,000 --> 02:05:17,125
The most important discovery
of my life.

1993
02:05:21,000 --> 02:05:24,416
It is only in the mysterious equations
of love...

1994
02:05:28,208 --> 02:05:31,458
That any logical reasons can be found.

1995
02:05:36,750 --> 02:05:38,750
I am only here tonight because of you.

1996
02:05:42,708 --> 02:05:45,250
You are the reason I am.

1997
02:05:53,083 --> 02:05:55,083
You are all my reasons.

1998
02:05:59,250 --> 02:06:00,083
Thank you.