Chatocalypse

The following is a work of fiction.

===

DAY 1
HumbleHermit has logged on.
BlueBrat has messaged HumbleHermit at 12:34 pm.
BlueBrat: omg holy shit ive been so worried
BlueBrat: where were you?!
HumbleHermit: hey
BlueBrat: dont 'hey' me! its been a week!
BlueBrat: fb said he thought your date murdered you
BlueBrat: i was starting to believe him by now!!
HumbleHermit: That's a close guess.
BlueBrat: oh my god!!! what happened!?
HumbleHermit: Well you can pretty much just call me Polyphemus now.
BlueBrat: what does that mean
HumbleHermit: nvm, it's not important
BlueBrat: holy shit i just googled that! did something happen to your eye?!
HumbleHermit: It's okay.
HumbleHermit: well
HumbleHermit: not really.
BlueBrat: what happened omg tell me! did your date....
BlueBrat: shit do i want to know? :(
HumbleHermit: Not what you think. Actually that would have been a better outcome.
HumbleHermit: It wasn't even about sex at all. I was just a tool.
BlueBrat: whatever it was you have to call the police!
HumbleHermit: No I sure as hell do not.
HumbleHermit: It's not just some case of domestic abuse or something
HumbleHermit: Apparently I spent a week in this asshole's basement chained up like a dog tranqed out on nerve gas and waking up without my damn eye.
HumbleHermit: All the while getting screamed at that it's all for the greater good.
BlueBrat: ho-lee FUCK
BlueBrat: CALL THE FBI!!!!!!
HumbleHermit: You don't get it. And you wouldn't believe me anyway.
HumbleHermit: To put it lightly let's just say you should get ready to find a bunker to hide in.
BlueBrat: omg! what the hell! what the hell are you talking about
BlueBrat: you got tortured and then youre telling me to hide in a bunker!!
BlueBrat: what is it like terrorists?!
HumbleHermit: Hah.
HumbleHermit: I wish.
HumbleHermit: I mean I really honestly wish that cute little bundle of statements was true because getting tortured by a terrorist would be preferable to what happened and is about to happen.
BlueBrat: this isn't funny! :(
HumbleHermit: Don't you think I know that?
HumbleHermit: I just logged on to warn anyone I could. So pass on the message. I have to keep moving.
HumbleHermit has logged off.


FlakyBaker has logged on.
BlueBrat has messaged FlakyBaker at 1:40 pm.
BlueBrat: omg fb!!
FlakyBaker: Yo.
BlueBrat: i dont know what happened but hh just got on and said you were right!!
FlakyBaker: ... He got on to tell you he was murdered?
BlueBrat: NO!!!
BlueBrat: he was kidnapped and chained up and he said he doesn't have an eye anymore!
FlakyBaker: Whoa, really?
BlueBrat: and he said something about hiding in a bunker
BlueBrat: im scared, i have no idea whats going on and something really bad happened to him! :(
FlakyBaker: Um.
FlakyBaker: Jesus.
FlakyBaker: Call the cops?
BlueBrat: he said not to
BlueBrat: i dont know what i should do now
FlakyBaker: I don't know. Um.
FlakyBaker: Wow.
FlakyBaker: I'm sorry, I'm just, really blown away and I have no idea what to say.
BlueBrat: i want to call the cops but i dont even know where he lives or anything
FlakyBaker: Yeah, he keeps us in the dark about things like that.
BlueBrat: this is so frustrating!!!
BlueBrat: do you remember the name of who he was going out with?
FlakyBaker: No. But I know who does.


FlakyBaker has messaged MezzoForte at 1:55 pm.
FlakyBaker: Okay, who was the bitch you set up HH with?
MezzoForte: Excuse me?
FlakyBaker: That blind date. Who was she?
MezzoForte: I did no such thing. I'm no matchmaker.
FlakyBaker: Bullshit.
MezzoForte: What is this all about?
FlakyBaker: Well, he got on to tell Blue that he spent the last week chained up in her basement.
MezzoForte: Whatever he and Blue do in their spare time is none of my business.
FlakyBaker: I'm serious, cut the bullshit here. He's hurt and no one knows how to reach him.
MezzoForte: Hmm.
FlakyBaker: Come on. We need to call the police. Or a doctor. He said he lost an -eye-.
MezzoForte: Call whoever you'd like.
MezzoForte: It's too late.
MezzoForte has logged off.
FlakyBaker: What are you
FlakyBaker: Damnit.


FlakyBaker has messaged BlueBrat at 2:02 pm.
FlakyBaker: I'm sorry. I asked her, and she got all cagey and dodged my questions.
BlueBrat: what? why???
FlakyBaker: I don't know...but I think she knows something.
FlakyBaker: I have a really bad feeling she set this up on purpose somehow.
BlueBrat: :( !!! who would do that?!
FlakyBaker: She acted like it didn't matter if we called the cops. She said it was 'too late'.
BlueBrat: holy shit did they kill him?!?!
FlakyBaker: No. I don't think so, anyway.
BlueBrat: i wish hed just sign on again! im seriously crying here im so worried!
FlakyBaker: It's okay, he might, I don't know, he might be getting somewhere safe first. He'll get back on.
BlueBrat: how are you so calm?
FlakyBaker: Hey, I'm seriously flipping out over here too, at least in my head, anyway. I'd feel like a total ass if my joke about him getting murdered came true. But we gotta stay calm.
BlueBrat: fb...
BlueBrat: is it okay to ask where you live?
FlakyBaker: Um, yeah, sure.
BlueBrat: im just getting really scared now thinking that maybe ill never talk to him again :(
BlueBrat: i dont want to lose touch with anybody.....just in case
FlakyBaker: Okay. I understand. I'll e-mail you my address and phone number, okay?
BlueBrat: okay
BlueBrat: thanks :(
BlueBrat: ill send you mine too


MezzoForte has messaged GoldenEngineer at 2:01 pm.
MezzoForte: There is an issue.
GoldenEngineer: what
MezzoForte: He got online.
GoldenEngineer: how
MezzoForte: Clearly he escaped.
MezzoForte: And he told his friends what happened.
GoldenEngineer: how much
MezzoForte: I don't know. They know he's been hurt. I doubt he told them everything.
GoldenEngineer: it doesnt really matter
MezzoForte: I know. Nothing will change. But they might try to track you down.
GoldenEngineer: hehehehe
GoldenEngineer: let them
GoldenEngineer: did you tell them my name
MezzoForte: No.
GoldenEngineer: he'll tell them anyway
MezzoForte: Should I do anything?
GoldenEngineer: hide
GoldenEngineer: lol
MezzoForte: I mean about them?
GoldenEngineer: shoot em if you see em lol
GoldenEngineer: doesnt matter
GoldenEngineer: its all for the greater good
GoldenEngineer: if they cant see that
GoldenEngineer: they wont understand why im doing this
GoldenEngineer: and theyll just get in the way
GoldenEngineer: dumb sheep lol
MezzoForte: Do you need any more?
GoldenEngineer: well mister batterys gone so yes
GoldenEngineer: eventually
GoldenEngineer: if you find him though dont shoot him
MezzoForte: They said his eye is gone.
GoldenEngineer: lol no its still there
GoldenEngineer: still got some juice
GoldenEngineer: hehehehe
MezzoForte: Alright.
GoldenEngineer: hey youre a good accomplice metz
GoldenEngineer: im glad you understand me :)
MezzoForte: I'm glad I understand, too.


HumbleHermit has logged on.
FlakyBaker has messaged HumbleHermit at 8:15 pm.
FlakyBaker: Yo
HumbleHermit: hey
FlakyBaker: So.
FlakyBaker: Come clean here.
HumbleHermit: About what?
FlakyBaker: About everything you told Blue.
HumbleHermit: You sound a little accusing.
FlakyBaker: You sound a little abrasive.
HumbleHermit: sorry
HumbleHermit: It's been a rough week
HumbleHermit: only it isn't over.
FlakyBaker: So... what, exactly, happened?
FlakyBaker: Cuz I'm a little confused by Blue's, um, hysterics.
FlakyBaker: And I sorta flew off the handle at Mezzo about it, so I'm, uh, really hoping there was a good reason for it. Pretty sure she has me blocked now.
HumbleHermit: Alright
HumbleHermit: how much did Blue tell you?
FlakyBaker: That your date kidnapped you and put out your eye or something.
HumbleHermit: are you finding a safe place to hide or in any way arming yourself?
FlakyBaker: ... Uhh, going to be blunt here, but why the hell would I be doing that?
HumbleHermit: Well okay clearly she didn't tell you enough then.
HumbleHermit: That's okay though.
FlakyBaker: You're being about five times more mysterious than usual.
FlakyBaker: So is everything you said true?
HumbleHermit: Why would I lie about this?
HumbleHermit: You don't believe me do you.
FlakyBaker: It's a little...
FlakyBaker: extreme.
HumbleHermit: I think normally I would be hurt by that
HumbleHermit: But it's hard to be moved when I feel like I'm having the mother of all migraines like my head is in a vice with a corkskrew drilled straight through my skull.
FlakyBaker: Um.
HumbleHermit: So yes everything I said is true.
HumbleHermit: And a lot of things I haven't said yet are also true.
FlakyBaker: Okay, you asked me why you'd lie about this, and, I'm thinking, with the way you don't want us to call the police or anything...
HumbleHermit: Why is that the first conclusion everyone's jumping to?
HumbleHermit: Is there something about me that just screams 'rohypnol magnet'?
HumbleHermit: Maybe if I knew about this particular aura of mine beforehand I'd have the presence of mind not to risk going on dates at all.
FlakyBaker: Okay, I'm sorry, it's not you, it's just... seems more likely to happen to ANYONE than some psychobitch putting out their eye.
HumbleHermit: okay
HumbleHermit: yeah you're right. I'm just a little tense right now.
HumbleHermit: okay a lot tense.
FlakyBaker: So what was this about hiding?
HumbleHermit: Right that
HumbleHermit: I'm pretty sure whatever she did set off a doomsday device.
FlakyBaker: ...
HumbleHermit: I know.
FlakyBaker: Uhhhh.
HumbleHermit: Maybe I should've gone with the terrorists story. Blue would've believed it.
FlakyBaker: ...so, why NOT call the police? Please tell me you've at least got medical attention by now.
HumbleHermit: Because I don't want to be connected to this or look like an accomplice
HumbleHermit: and because I've decided to barricade my apartment in case she hunts me down.
FlakyBaker: Okay. Medical attention?
HumbleHermit: Same reason.
HumbleHermit: And my eye's not exactly gone but it would be pretty hard to explain.
HumbleHermit: Let's just say it's 'acting up' atm.
FlakyBaker: Ew?
HumbleHermit: If it makes you feel any better I've been putting ice on it.
HumbleHermit: But mostly it
HumbleHermit: hold on


GoldenEngineer has messaged HumbleHermit at 8:32 pm.
GoldenEngineer: well hello there cutie
HumbleHermit: What do you want?
GoldenEngineer: i think you know hehe
HumbleHermit: Screw off.
GoldenEngineer: aww thats cute you dont even use curse words with me
HumbleHermit: Fuck you.
GoldenEngineer: hehehehe
GoldenEngineer: actually im reaaaally curious about something
HumbleHermit: My finger's on the 'block' button.
GoldenEngineer: how did you get out
HumbleHermit: Why? Are you planning on building a better chain this time?
GoldenEngineer: i dont see why you cant just help me
GoldenEngineer: the way you were born
GoldenEngineer: its obvious that this is your duty
HumbleHermit: Excuse me what? Duty? The way I was born?
GoldenEngineer: eyes dummy
GoldenEngineer: among other things
GoldenEngineer: obviously lol
HumbleHermit: Heterochromia as far as I know doesn't have anything to do with a 'duty' to bring about the apocalypse.
GoldenEngineer: ugh nobody listens
GoldenEngineer: im saving you all
GoldenEngineer: if youd just listen to me and everybody did what i said
GoldenEngineer: then nobody would have to get hurt
HumbleHermit: No.
HumbleHermit: You're psychotic and whoever told you to kill the planet is just as psychotic as you are and I bet you and Mezzo are in some world-ending cult only instead of drinking the Kool-Aid to join the mothership you just skip to blowing up the world yourself.
GoldenEngineer: lol l2punctuate
HumbleHermit: Like you're one to talk.
GoldenEngineer: i break up my sentences
GoldenEngineer: with well thought out paragraph breaks
GoldenEngineer: it makes me look like im kind of wise
GoldenEngineer: slowly pondering everything i say
HumbleHermit: It makes you look 'slow' alright.
GoldenEngineer: ooh burnnned lol
GoldenEngineer: pssst
GoldenEngineer: im coming to get you
GoldenEngineer: i still need you
GoldenEngineer: hehehe
HumbleHermit: I'll put out the bear traps with your name on them.
HumbleHermit has logged off.


FlakyBaker has messaged HumbleHermit at 8:33 pm.
FlakyBaker: Okay.
FlakyBaker: ...
FlakyBaker: Yello?
FlakyBaker: Everything okay?
HumbleHermit: Yes.
HumbleHermit: no
FlakyBaker: What is it?
HumbleHermit: She messaged me.
FlakyBaker: Ballsy.
HumbleHermit: I think I should either board up my doors and windows or get as far away as possible.
HumbleHermit: Either way I think I should do something fast.
FlakyBaker: Why? What'd she say?
HumbleHermit: She said she's coming for me.
FlakyBaker: Okay, this is probably the time you should think about alerting the authorities. You need some protection. They're not gonna blame you for whatever you think you did.
HumbleHermit: Maybe I should tell you that I think the law will be invalid pretty soon.
FlakyBaker: Um...
HumbleHermit: And maybe not.
HumbleHermit: nvm the point is she's sort of a secondary concern atm.
FlakyBaker: Please don't tell me you believe this doomsday thing story. Whatever she told you, man, just don't buy it.
HumbleHermit: Mezzo seems pretty sure of herself though.
FlakyBaker: Yeah, well, crazy people are usually confident that they're not crazy.
HumbleHermit: Okay believe what you want but I'm telling you things are about to get bad.
FlakyBaker: Bad how?
HumbleHermit: I'm not sure yet...
HumbleHermit: Anyway I'm going to sort things out now.
HumbleHermit: Goodnight.
FlakyBaker: ... 'night.

===

DAY -14

HumbleHermit has logged on.
HumbleHermit has messaged MezzoForte at 5:43 am.
HumbleHermit: hey
HumbleHermit: Are you on?
HumbleHermit: Don't check your mail today.
HumbleHermit: Okay I gotta run see you later
HumbleHermit has logged off.


HumbleHermit has logged on.
MezzoForte has messaged HumbleHermit at 7:20 pm.
MezzoForte: I would be lying if I said I wasn't surprised.
HumbleHermit: hey
HumbleHermit: Are you okay?
MezzoForte: Yes.
HumbleHermit: Okay good.
MezzoForte: How did you do that?
HumbleHermit: it's nothing...
MezzoForte: No. That was strange. When I got up, your message was there. When I went to read it- You probably already know.
HumbleHermit: I just sort of had a feeling.
HumbleHermit: Well more like a bad dream I guess I just woke up to warn you about it while I was half asleep.
MezzoForte: I didn't tell you what happened.
HumbleHermit: What happened?
MezzoForte: A truck ran over my mailbox while I was reading your message.
HumbleHermit: Oh.
MezzoForte: You don't seem surprised. Which doesn't surprise me, either, now.
HumbleHermit: Yeah.
MezzoForte: Does that happen often?
HumbleHermit: I don't know.
HumbleHermit: I guess so.
HumbleHermit: It's just a random thing I can't really control.
HumbleHermit: It's really nothing.
MezzoForte: Interesting.
MezzoForte: I actually got online to tell you that I have a friend you might like to meet.
HumbleHermit: Oh yeah?
MezzoForte: I mean, on a date. If you're amenable.
HumbleHermit: Oh uh sure
HumbleHermit: Who is it?
MezzoForte: Her name is Rhea. When would be a good time for you to meet?
HumbleHermit: Uhh let me look at my calendar.
HumbleHermit: Okay looks like I'm free a week from now.
MezzoForte: A week?
HumbleHermit: I've been really busy with two jobs and all.
HumbleHermit: So uh what's she like?
MezzoForte: Isn't the purpose of a blind date supposed to be a surprise?
HumbleHermit: Heh yeah I guess so.
MezzoForte: I'll ask her where she'd like to go when I talk to her again. Any dining establishment preferences?


MezzoForte has messaged GoldenEngineer at 7:00 pm.
MezzoForte: I think he is one.
GoldenEngineer: why
MezzoForte: He sent me a message at about 6 am to tell me not to check my mail. Then a truck ran over my mailbox.
GoldenEngineer: hmm are you sure
GoldenEngineer: seems iffy
MezzoForte: I'll ask him when I can. If he is what you need, what do you want me to do?
GoldenEngineer: the usual
GoldenEngineer: make me a date lol
GoldenEngineer: maybe thisll be the last one
GoldenEngineer: and i can finally have some peace and quiet
MezzoForte: Yes, I hope so too.
GoldenEngineer: i g2g
GoldenEngineer: fill me in later
MezzoForte: Will do.
GoldenEngineer has logged off.

===

DAY 5

MezzoForte has messaged HumbleHermit at 1:13 pm.
MezzoForte: You probably have no desire to speak with me.
HumbleHermit: Good guess.
MezzoForte: But I just wanted to say, that I'm beginning to think I made a mistake.
HumbleHermit: Wow a little late for that.
HumbleHermit: Let me guess your house was destroyed right?
MezzoForte: Is that something your precognition told you or is it just that obvious?
HumbleHermit: Maybe a little of both.
HumbleHermit: Look I'm sorry that I can't be more sympathetic to your newfound regret but maybe you should have thought about the consequences when you aided her in kidnapping me.
HumbleHermit: And maybe I'd care a little more if your only reason for wanting to take it back now wasn't because it has personal repercussions for you.
HumbleHermit: I mean that's not even what I'd call "regret" that's just, "oops I blew up my house".
MezzoForte: You are correct that my home was destroyed, and that it is part of the reason for my doubt about the plan.
MezzoForte: But it's not the entire reason.
HumbleHermit: Okay, then what.
MezzoForte: Because I can hear it now too.
HumbleHermit: Oh okay so you're just bothered by the voices, yeah that completely validates the sincerity of your regret.
MezzoForte: Alright, I can understand your hostility.
HumbleHermit: Wow what a relief, I was worried for a moment there that you wouldn't understand why I might be hostile to someone that orchestrated the end of the world.
HumbleHermit: But I'm really glad to hear that you can UNDERSTAND why that might upset me!
MezzoForte: I think the outcome of this is wrong.
MezzoForte: And yet, I'm not sure on that either.
HumbleHermit: Okay so even after all this you're having second thoughts about your second thoughts about destroying the world.
HumbleHermit: How can one person possibly be so short-sighted and, and callous about life?!
MezzoForte: But that's just the thing. It's not callousness. I didn't think it was going to cause so much destruction.
HumbleHermit: Um it's the apocalypse.
HumbleHermit: I'm not sure what you thought was going to happen, it's right there in the name.
MezzoForte: I will detour into a tangent for a moment to point out that "apocalypse" does not mean "destruction" but "unveiling".
HumbleHermit: And yet, what is happening here is destruction.
MezzoForte: Yes. And again, I will point out that this isn't the outcome I anticipated.
HumbleHermit: Maybe you should've I don't know listened to the PSYCHIC on the matter.
HumbleHermit: The one that saved your life with his precognitive abilities.
HumbleHermit: Not to sound like I'm bragging or anything, it's something I try to stay humble about, but I kind of feel the need to stress the point at the moment.
MezzoForte: Yes, but your precognition is hazy and random. I know for a fact you can't focus it, or aim it, and your visions are small in scale.
HumbleHermit: It doesn't take a psychic to see that Rhea's batshit insane.
MezzoForte: See, that is another thing. She's not insane.
HumbleHermit: ...
HumbleHermit: You still
HumbleHermit: I don't even know what to say to that.
MezzoForte: She, too, is psychic. In a different way than you.
HumbleHermit: She wants to blow up the world because she hears voices!
MezzoForte: Just one voice, actually. One I've begun to hear.
MezzoForte: I don't believe it was the world itself she intended to destroy, but what the world contains. What a half-implemented plan has merely angered, and allowed to surface.
HumbleHermit: And what is that?
MezzoForte: A monster.

===

DAY 6

HumbleHermit has logged on.
BlueBrat has messaged HumbleHermit at 3:05 am.
BlueBrat: hh!
BlueBrat: omg please tell me where you are
HumbleHermit: thats what id like to know
BlueBrat: huh???
HumbleHermit: i almost lost my limbs breaking into this place
HumbleHermit: he wasnt kidding when he said he was boobytrapping it
HumbleHermit: and he isnt here
BlueBrat: omg. its you
HumbleHermit: heheh
HumbleHermit: so where is he
BlueBrat: i dont know!
BlueBrat: and even if i did i WOULDNT TELL YOU!!!
HumbleHermit: youre cute
HumbleHermit: but seriously where is he
HumbleHermit: you have to know where he hangs out or something
HumbleHermit: god i shouldve asked him these things on our date
BlueBrat: youre a horrible person!!!!
BlueBrat: everythings that happening has something to do with what you did, doesnt it?!
HumbleHermit: yes and no
HumbleHermit: everyone was going to die
HumbleHermit: let me guess he told you i was trying to destroy the world
BlueBrat: no...
BlueBrat: but he said you tortured him!
BlueBrat: and i figured the rest out for myself >:(
HumbleHermit: what i put him through was torture
HumbleHermit: not gonna lie about that lol
HumbleHermit: he mightve died if he hadnt escaped
HumbleHermit: but thats the price we pay
HumbleHermit: for saving the world
BlueBrat: what!!!!
HumbleHermit: ugh youre just another tool who doesnt know anything
HumbleHermit: let alone anything useful
BlueBrat: how can you say youre saving the world? everythings getting destroyed!
HumbleHermit: yeah thats
HumbleHermit: what happens when you fire a gun
HumbleHermit: and the bullet just grazes its cheek
HumbleHermit: you only enrage the sonovabitch
BlueBrat: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??!
HumbleHermit: oh dont break out the caps on me mister
BlueBrat: miss!!!
HumbleHermit: lol dont care
HumbleHermit: BUT IF WE WANT TO GET CAPITALIZED IN HERE
HumbleHermit: TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME
HumbleHermit: IN FACT I THINK IM FEELING PRETTY BIG LETTER TODAY
HumbleHermit: MAYBE IF I SCREAM LOUD ENOUGH
HumbleHermit: I CAN BLOCK IT OUT
BlueBrat: what?
HumbleHermit: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HumbleHermit: WHAT ITS LIKE TO HEAR
HumbleHermit: eh nevermind
HumbleHermit: a little idiot like you just wouldnt get it
BlueBrat: you know what youre just a crazy BITCH
HumbleHermit: fine but if i dont get him back
HumbleHermit: were all going to die
HumbleHermit: so sleep on that sweetie :)
HumbleHermit has logged off.


GoldenEngineer has logged on.
GoldenEngineer has messaged MezzoForte at 10:00 am.
GoldenEngineer: metz
GoldenEngineer: important question
MezzoForte: Rhea.
GoldenEngineer: you hear it now too
MezzoForte: Is that a question?
GoldenEngineer: you hear it now too
GoldenEngineer: question mark
MezzoForte: Your obtuse reluctance to use punctuation would amuse me, in less dire circumstances.
GoldenEngineer: your obtuse reluctance to answer
GoldenEngineer: wouldnt
MezzoForte: I don't recall ever mentioning this to you, but yes.
MezzoForte: I do now.
MezzoForte: Why?
GoldenEngineer: hmm
MezzoForte: What does that mean to you?
GoldenEngineer: you think it has something to do
GoldenEngineer: with being psychic
MezzoForte: I definitely don't recall saying that to you.
GoldenEngineer: its flattering that youd say im psychic
MezzoForte: I didn't.
GoldenEngineer: but more importantly
GoldenEngineer: you said youre psychic too
GoldenEngineer: if hearing the voice means that
MezzoForte: I think I'd be more comfortable continuing this conversation if I knew where you heard any of this.
GoldenEngineer: where are you staying now
MezzoForte: My home, where else?
GoldenEngineer: wrong
GoldenEngineer: okay miss sneakypants
GoldenEngineer: heres a deal
GoldenEngineer: find sully before i find you
MezzoForte: Or?
GoldenEngineer: or you take his place
GoldenEngineer: sorry metz
GoldenEngineer: but the plans got to continue
MezzoForte: But I'm not psychic. I have never exhibited psychic abilities.
MezzoForte: I'm not heterochromic either.
GoldenEngineer: running out of time and options here
GoldenEngineer: but i can understand
GoldenEngineer: your hostility
GoldenEngineer: to the idea
MezzoForte: This conversation's over.
MezzoForte has logged off.


HumbleHermit has logged on.
BlueBrat has messaged HumbleHermit at 4:13 pm.
BlueBrat: hh?
HumbleHermit: hey
BlueBrat: is it you?
HumbleHermit: Why wouldn't
HumbleHermit: Wait.
HumbleHermit: Why is my font larger?


MezzoForte has messaged HumbleHermit at 4:14 pm.
MezzoForte: Do not return home, and if you are home, leave immediately.
MezzoForte: Do not tell me either way, nor anyone else. I believe your account has been compromised.
HumbleHermit: yeah, I know.
HumbleHermit: She probably broke into my house and used my computer there.
MezzoForte: She is aware of our previous conversation.
MezzoForte: She's also made it clear she will use me to power the device if she can't find you.
HumbleHermit: oh
HumbleHermit: So why are you helping me then?
MezzoForte: Guilt, I suppose. And the realization that I've been duped by Rhea as much as anyone.
HumbleHermit: As "anyone"?
HumbleHermit: wait how many people has she done this too?


TyphloticKairoi has messaged HumbleHermit at 4:13 pm.
TyphloticKairoi: Hi Sullivan.
HumbleHermit: who are you and what do you want?
TyphloticKairoi: Not who you think. You've never met me.
HumbleHermit: That certainly makes me feel more confident that you're trustworthy!
TyphloticKairoi: Sorry. It's hard to explain. The important thing is that you don't return home.
HumbleHermit: okay I am definitely getting into the creeped out territory here because I don't know how you know that.
TyphloticKairoi: Again, very hard to explain. Let's just say I want to help you. I want to make sure you survive, and help you save the world.
HumbleHermit: Alright magical god fairy of the internet, how do you intend to do that?
TyphloticKairoi: Truthfully I have several plans, and you could say I have several contacts trying them all at once. The plan for you right now is to simply make sure Rhea cannot capture you.
HumbleHermit: Okay, thanks, I was pretty much already set on making sure that didn't happen.
TyphloticKairoi: I know.
TyphloticKairoi: But you weren't planning on capturing her.
HumbleHermit: Why in the hell would I want to do that?
HumbleHermit: actually no wait, a more important question is how in the hell you know anything about any of this, like about me personally.
HumbleHermit: I'm not going to answer anything or talk to you until you answer that for me.
TyphloticKairoi: I'm someone else she used. Someone else she weaponized.
HumbleHermit: That's an amazing term for it.
TyphloticKairoi: It's what she intended. She tried to harness our energy and focus it against the monster to destroy it.
HumbleHermit: So she really has done this to a lot of people then.
TyphloticKairoi: Yes. No offense, you were only one in a long line of victims.
HumbleHermit: So that still doesn't explain how you know about me.
TyphloticKairoi: I did research. I deliberately sought out the other people she'd used.
HumbleHermit: So how many of us are there?
TyphloticKairoi: Surviving?
TyphloticKairoi: You.


HumbleHermit: I think it'd be easier on me to consolidate these conversations.
HumbleHermit: Try not to fly off the handle at the others okay?


BlueBrat: why? who is it?


MezzoForte: I am more worried about the reverse. But alright.


TyphloticKairoi: I promise I will ply myself to the handle.


HumbleHermit has created a chat at 4:45pm.
TyphloticKairoi has entered the room.
MezzoForte has entered the room.
BlueBrat has entered the room.
HumbleHermit: Here, now everyone can just dump all their info together at once so I don't have to keep switching back and forth between windows.
TyphloticKairoi: I'm afraid there isn't much more I can share, Sullivan.
BlueBrat: your name is sullivan?
HumbleHermit: You didn't know that?
HumbleHermit: I thought you were just calling me 'hh' as like, a joke.
BlueBrat: i dont know anybodys names!
HumbleHermit: Oh.
HumbleHermit: Uh, yeah, but just use 'Sully', 'Sullivan' sounds way formal.
BlueBrat: yeah it sounds kinda like a last name
BlueBrat: err no offense
TyphloticKairoi: Actually his last name's Atlas.
HumbleHermit: :| thanks person I still don't know.
HumbleHermit: Let's broadcast all my personal info right out there for everybody, right after Rhea hacked my account.
TyphloticKairoi: Sorry. I doubt she's still there, though. And if it helps, you can call me Whitney.
HumbleHermit: I can CALL you that... okay.
HumbleHermit: So both you and Metz know how Rhea operates, right? What do you think she's going to do next?
BlueBrat: whos rhea??
HumbleHermit: The bad date that kidnapped me.
BlueBrat: then how do these two know about her?! are they the ones that set you up together?!?!
HumbleHermit: I told you not to flip out at them!
HumbleHermit: Now's just not the time.
TyphloticKairoi: Rhea should have scoped your computer for pertinent facts, maps and recent searches, to discover your next destination.
HumbleHermit: Hmm okay.
MezzoForte: I'm sorry, but how do you know this?
HumbleHermit: Whitney was one of Rhea's other victims.
MezzoForte: That's interesting.
MezzoForte: I was under the impression they had all died.
BlueBrat: omg
BlueBrat: you set him up with someone knowing he was probably gonna DIE?!!!
MezzoForte: I was also under the impression it would prevent more deaths than it would cause. Though I severely doubt that now.
TyphloticKairoi: Actually, as much as I abhor to admit it, Rhea was right.
HumbleHermit: How. Can you say that.
TyphloticKairoi: The problem is each procedure was so weak, it only moved the monster to retaliation, rather than eradication.
MezzoForte: I suspected as much, but I hoped it was not true.
TyphloticKairoi: Unfortunately so.
MezzoForte: How did you survive it? I take it you also escaped.
TyphloticKairoi: I'd rather not talk about it. It was a long time ago.
MezzoForte: Oh. So before I knew her?
TyphloticKairoi: Anyway, that's why I want you to retain Rhea.
MezzoForte: What?
TyphloticKairoi: The procedure can properly be completed still.
HumbleHermit: oh god please don't tell me you want me to go through that again
TyphloticKairoi: Oh no! Not you. Her.
MezzoForte: Do you think it would work?
TyphloticKairoi: Rhea's always heard the monster's hunger. It is a shame her technological talent's tempered by a touched mind. But being privy to its voice points to a personal connection with the thing, and profound but latent psychic energy.
MezzoForte: Yes, she theorized that my hearing the voice now could mean that.
TyphloticKairoi: Oh, it does. But you would not be enough to finish it off. No offense.
BlueBrat: maybe im crazy but i thought whatever she did CAUSED all this! how do you know just killing more people isnt gonna make it worse?!
TyphloticKairoi: She provoked overt destruction, but she no more made the monster than you make bees by poking a beehive. You could say she heard their buzzing far before the rest. In saner times I'd have dismissed her case as all else have.
MezzoForte: Did she tell you this?
TyphloticKairoi: Oh no. My research was thorough, though. I sought out old records and dialogues. A name as noteworthy as hers is not hard to find, when you know where to look.
HumbleHermit: Rhea's not THAT weird. The first thing I get on Google is a bird. And the Titan of course.
TyphloticKairoi: Rhea Sunshine Tatopoulos.
HumbleHermit: Oh. My. God.
MezzoForte: What?
HumbleHermit: I'm just glad that with everything else right now, I have at least one really hilarious thing to laugh at. Rhea SUNSHINE? Freaking rich. And here I thought her parents were into Greek mythology, but it's just a stupid hippie pun.
TyphloticKairoi: I'm just glad her name is so distinct, for it made her easy to find.
HumbleHermit: What DID you find?
TyphloticKairoi: Chewy childhood records, dialogues with a school psychologist, and apparent remission of her mental affliction. Naturally I'm sure you've guessed it never remissed, for it never existed. The realization that her condition would have her committed forced her to fake a full recovery, and her family accepted it regardless of its inexplicability.
HumbleHermit: So in not inexplicably poetic terms, she just pretended she couldn't hear the 'monster' anymore?
BlueBrat: why does everyone keep talking about a monster!! whats going on?!
TyphloticKairoi: I'm sure Sully can explain it later.
TyphloticKairoi: And yes. She henceforth vanished off the grid. She's uncannily acute.
HumbleHermit: No kidding, what with the mad scientist laser lab she's got going on. But let's stop gushing about how smart and sane she is for a moment because it's still pretty hard to swallow.
TyphloticKairoi: Uh-oh! Why is that?
HumbleHermit: I just liked her better when she was nuts, okay?
TyphloticKairoi: I've become insensitive to information about her, whether it's good or ill. Is it difficult to imagine treating her like she treated you?
HumbleHermit: Whoa. Whoa.
TyphloticKairoi: As nothing more than ammunition?
HumbleHermit: WOW thanks. Come on let's just focus on avoiding her and then I'll sit on that other idea for a while first.
TyphloticKairoi: I know it's hard. But once she released the tide, we all must sail it now.
HumbleHermit: just stop
BlueBrat: i dont get it???
TyphloticKairoi: By blessing of proximity and particular insight, we're given responsibility of the choice she already acted upon. The choice between one life directly, or all lives via inaction.
HumbleHermit: I am NOT responsible for her actions.
TyphloticKairoi: You know where she lives. You know the lab better than anyone other than her. And you can't return home, so where else should you wander but there? What else can you do now?
HumbleHermit: alright who the hell do you think you are to just start jabbering on at me about what you think I HAVE to do?
TyphloticKairoi: I keep in mind the possibility you'll decline.
HumbleHermit: It's a pretty heavy "possibility" because I'm not sinking to her level and kidnapping anyone! I'm not
TyphloticKairoi: We cannot do it for you, Sully. Only you know how it works.
HumbleHermit: Yes, I know! It works by ripping your brain out through your eyes! It works by splitting your soul like an atom and the whole explosion is forced out of your face like a firehose through a keyhole!
BlueBrat: omg... :(
TyphloticKairoi: I know. I remember.
HumbleHermit: Then why do you think I'd be willing to put someone else through that?!
TyphloticKairoi: I had hoped you'd hate her enough.
HumbleHermit: I told you I still wouldn't stoop to her level.
TyphloticKairoi: Her motivations are selfish. But look around you now: listen to the wails of a dying world, the lamentations of its last days. See the distant, shuddering, shaking shelves of earth, the smoking ruins. Think of all those lost, while you linger in indecision. She only wanted silence; don't you want to save us all?
HumbleHermit: you are severely overestimating my physical capacity, if you think I could go hunt down and capture someone, even if I wanted to.
TyphloticKairoi: Rhea wasn't very strong.
HumbleHermit: I'm pretty sure I can't convince her to drink a date rape drug like she did to me.
TyphloticKairoi: You still avoid the question, though. Don't you want to save the world?
HumbleHermit: I can't
HumbleHermit: make that decision.
TyphloticKairoi: I'll tell you a story, Sully. A dream I had.
TyphloticKairoi: In this dream, she had succeeded. I was the last, and listened while listless and helpless in my bonds, as the whole world tore asunder. In its final moments I finally heard the monster's roar, grown to a great cacophany in a crescendo that rattled the Earth to its core. Rhea ended as suddenly as the rest, a mess of splattered flesh on its flailing, invisible limbs, swept aside like a swatted pest, without so much as a scream.
TyphloticKairoi: Once I escaped my chains, I crawled upstairs to see the so very, very silent world which remained. Above her basement lay a quiet apocalypse, like a roused child drifting back to sleep under tumbled blankets. A still world without a human left. A world of peace and quiet like she wanted, and never got to see. A world saved by ending it and leaving it bereft.
HumbleHermit: That... is a very interesting dream.
MezzoForte: Hmm.
TyphloticKairoi: A vivid dream, perhaps a vision or a warning. You're familiar with such fare, yes?
HumbleHermit: I've never gone on record with that, so I'm just going to guess here that a lot of this stuff you know about me is because you're psychic. Otherwise I'm going to start freaking out by thinking someone's managed to log all my clairvoyant episodes or something.
TyphloticKairoi: You're a good guesser, but the truth is very strange and you've never guessed it yet.
HumbleHermit: Now that's an interesting way to phrase that.
HumbleHermit: What was that dream, really?
TyphloticKairoi: To you? Just that. A fairy tale, a parable.
HumbleHermit: So what's the moral of that story, huh?
TyphloticKairoi: We all die someday, Sully. Wouldn't it be better to make her death work for you, rather than a comorbid casualty of the world itself?
BlueBrat: hh!
BlueBrat: i mean sully....dont listen to this weirdo
BlueBrat: im just getting the creeps and i think its a trap! just like the blind date. what if its just a big set up to get YOU caught again?!
TyphloticKairoi: BlueBrat. I can't possibly prove my innocence or intent no more than I can even verify my existence. As I said, I know he might refuse. It would not surprise me.
BlueBrat: whats it to you anyway huh? why cant you just get some other person to go do your dirty work? whys it got to be him!?!
HumbleHermit: Hey. Wait.
HumbleHermit: I'm, um, honored you'd defend me? But...
TyphloticKairoi: He or she has a point! Why you? Only as I said: you're in the area, and familiar with it.
BlueBrat: im a SHE!! why does everyone think im a boy?!
TyphloticKairoi: Sorry. The name is nonindicative. Anyway, my reasons chalk up to knowledge and nearness. I could train a willing participant with all I know of Rhea and the place in general, but you're convenient. It's not so easy getting screen names of able adults in Silicon Valley, let alone living ones still in possession of a computer.
MezzoForte: What about me?
TyphloticKairoi: I wasn't aware you had aligned against her at this point.
MezzoForte: Hm. I suppose I am. Although, I am currently also on the run from her, and from this destruction in general.
TyphloticKairoi: Aren't you all? Anyway, I also have surprisingly little information on you. You should take some solace in that fact, at least.
MezzoForte: Because the information's hard to reach, or because I'm too insignificant to publish it at all?
TyphloticKairoi: Either!
HumbleHermit: Whitney, aren't you still in the area too?
TyphloticKairoi: I am not remotely at your disposal for more than dialogue, I'm afraid.
HumbleHermit: Well that's certainly a nice way of dodging the question, but okay.
HumbleHermit: So who are your other contacts? You mentioned having a bunch of plans going off at once.
TyphloticKairoi: I'd rather not say. You probably wouldn't believe me anyway! Regardless, they are irrelevant to you, not to mention entirely unreachable.
MezzoForte: Hmm.
HumbleHermit: I agree Metz, but I think that deserves an even bigger hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Pretend I'm stroking my beard while saying that.
BlueBrat: you have a beard?
HumbleHermit: Funny thing about not shaving for weeks. Things grow, out of your face.
BlueBrat: ok but see how weird this person talks?! youre totally being set up for something bad i just know it!!!
HumbleHermit: Yeah, maybe, but I haven't decided anything yet.
BlueBrat: OMG
HumbleHermit: What?
BlueBrat: somethings h
HumbleHermit: Blue?
HumbleHermit: Shit.
HumbleHermit: What do I do?
MezzoForte: Maybe she only had to leave her computer, but is unharmed.
HumbleHermit: Well I have no way to find out!
TyphloticKairoi: Don't you?
HumbleHermit: If you have something helpful to contribute Whitney, I'd love to hear it.
TyphloticKairoi: Do you know where she lives?
HumbleHermit: I don't even know her real name.
MezzoForte: Neither do I.
TyphloticKairoi: Does anyone?
HumbleHermit: I don't know, I don't have time to sift through my contacts for someone who might know where she's at!
MezzoForte: FlakyBaker?
HumbleHermit: okay he might
HumbleHermit: he's nto online
HumbleHermit: I odn't knowwh at to do
MezzoForte: Are you alright?
HumbleHermit: im sory I'msg
MezzoForte: What's happening?
TyphloticKairoi: Aphasia associated with episodes of clairvoyance.
MezzoForte: Isn't aphasia a speech disorder?
TyphloticKairoi: Disorders of typing demonstrate as well.
MezzoForte: I take it you've experienced this before.
TyphloticKairoi: I try to be well-versed in paranormal traits.
MezzoForte: I had no idea that was something one could be well-versed in. Will he be alright?
TyphloticKairoi: What a shocking show of worry you manifest, Melanie, for one who led him once to imminent demise.
MezzoForte: Blue needs help.
HumbleHermit: okay
TyphloticKairoi: See something of use?
HumbleHermit: you are really nosy
HumbleHermit: I don't suppose you have advice on controlling those, do you?
TyphloticKairoi: I do. But now's not the time!
HumbleHermit: yeah okay
HumbleHermit: He's signing on in ten minutes. Metz, you need to talk to him.
MezzoForte: What?
HumbleHermit: I suddenly have somewhere else I need to be.
TyphloticKairoi: Where is that?
HumbleHermit: I feel like advertising my location isn't a great idea.
MezzoForte: He won't want to talk to me.
HumbleHermit: I didn't either but
HumbleHermit: You're the one who's going to do this.
MezzoForte: Is that a prophecy or a command?
HumbleHermit has left the room.
MezzoForte: Hmm.
MezzoForte: So how long ago did you die?


MezzoForte has messaged FlakyBaker at 4:25 pm.
MezzoForte: You probably have no desire to speak with me.
FlakyBaker: What the -
FlakyBaker: Uhh, YOU blocked ME.
MezzoForte: Right. I apologize for that.
FlakyBaker: Trust me, that's like, the lowest thing on your list of offenses.
MezzoForte: I believe Blue is in trouble.
FlakyBaker: Is that a statement or some kind of vague threat?
MezzoForte: A statement. She said "OMG" and then stopped in the middle of a sentence.
FlakyBaker: That's not weird.
MezzoForte: Sully asked me to contact you. He seemed to believe you'd know how to help.
FlakyBaker: And why couldn't he just talk to me himself?
MezzoForte: He had somewhere he suddenly needed to be, apparently. He didn't say where.
FlakyBaker: It's really frustrating and kinda funny how that could either be you being suspiciously evasive with a bad lie, or him being suspiciously evasive about his personal info cuz he's just like that.
FlakyBaker: I seriously cannot tell which. I'd laugh if I weren't shitting my pants about everything else.
MezzoForte: He had a "clairvoyant episode" and started typing oddly before going quiet a while.
FlakyBaker: Oh, one of those. I wonder what that's like to see in person?
FlakyBaker: Going all gibbering Oracle on you.
FlakyBaker: Anyway, that confirms what you're saying exactly not at all.
MezzoForte: If it's any condolence, I'm beginning to share your frustration.
FlakyBaker: Listen, I DO have Blue's info. Not that it does any good way out here.
MezzoForte: Time is most likely of the essence. She has neither signed off, nor said any more.
FlakyBaker: But why do you want to help her?
FlakyBaker: You haven't exactly... shown a lot of sympathy to people.
FlakyBaker: What with the conspiracy-to-kidnap thing.
MezzoForte: I have made mistakes. I won't attempt to explain myself.
MezzoForte: I will at least eliminate any possibility of my helping her, I suppose, by asking if she's even in San Jose at all.
FlakyBaker: You have got to be kidding me.
FlakyBaker: Why does everyone I know live there?
MezzoForte: Because we met in person first?
FlakyBaker: Right okay. How do I know you're not going to kidnap -her-?
MezzoForte: Would it help if I said that'd be useless?
FlakyBaker: A little.
MezzoForte: I don't know how to make my case, I admit. My record works against me.
FlakyBaker: Nooo kidding.
FlakyBaker: Why don't I just call 911 for her.
MezzoForte: Authorities here are no longer terribly responsive.
MezzoForte: The past week has been disastrous beyond measure.
FlakyBaker: Yeah, I'm beginning to think it's Ground Zero from Miss Roofee McGee's doomsday device or whatever.
MezzoForte: That's more accurate than you think.
FlakyBaker: It's probably EXACTLY as accurate as I think.
FlakyBaker: He really wasn't kidding when he said the law would be invalid. I wonder how much of this he "saw"?
MezzoForte: Can we stop going off on tangents? I've been ordered slash prophecied to help Blue.
FlakyBaker: Are you doing this because you care, or cuz you don't want to fight fate?
MezzoForte: Because he saved my life with a vision once, and I've done a poor job of paying him back.