Advertisement
Guest User

Untitled

a guest
Jun 27th, 2019
107
0
Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 2.55 KB | None | 0 0
  1. Here is the plot to a "modern" Modern Times: a poor, vaguely brown 20-something sits inside his electric forklift cage at the local Amazon/Monsanto FeedHouse™. He hasn't slept in two days, because his performance telemetry has been lacking compared to his coworkers, so he has done nothing but move sex toys and consumer gadgets around the FeedHouse™, jacked up on amphetamines and Monster Energy, earning ten loot boxes as payment for his work. However, only some of these loot boxes contain Feed or Seed that he can use for nourishment, so if he wants to eat, he has to have enough lootboxes to sustain himself in case he gets nothing but bad rolls.
  2.  
  3. If he stops to take bathroom breaks, his telemetry data will suffer, so instead he pisses in his empty two liter bottles of Monster Energy, now distributed by the NSA with special electrical seals that stop you from opening the bottle if you have exceeded your monthly rations. Luckily, however, our protagonist bought a Chinese e-mag (short for electro-magnet) on the Dark Web using Shitcoin™, the most popular cryptocurrency, pegged to the power output of the Nestle industrial breeding pens' manure-based bioreactor, which allows him to bypass the electric seal. After loading a crate of fursuits onto a pallet, he sighs, and goes to take a sip of his Monster. Something seems up, so he takes another sip, slowly this time. He looks down at his bottle of Monster. He's been drinking from the piss bottle.
  4.  
  5. The audience starts to giggle.
  6.  
  7. He panics and drops the bottle, spilling piss all over his cage. The cage's piss sensors kick in and alarms start blaring over the FeedHouse™. Before our protagonist can escape the cage, three Amazon drone-guards ram into the side of his cage-lift, knocking it onto its side. All of his piss bottles spill out on top of him, coating him in stale urine.
  8.  
  9. The audience roars in laughter, almost pained from their shrieks.
  10.  
  11. The movie pans out as our protagonist cries in his piss puddle, as the drone-guards lift him out of the cage-lift and beat him with their billy clubs. A circle fade closes in on our protagonist while Looney Tunes-style exit music blasts in the background.
  12.  
  13. Chaplin thought the cartoonish monstrosities he depicted would never be realized by actual people, that he was goofishly pantomiming a helpless worker in a total alien industrial society. You probably think the same thing about the plot of this soft reboot. Unfortunately, they aren't really the same. Chaplin's world was full of dysfunctional, unrefined mechanical beasts; our world is sated by a terrifying efficiency.
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement