Crepsley Illiterate

"I could not have filled in those forms," Mr. Crepsley said stiffly.

"It's unlikely," Harkat agreed, "but we do strange things... when we sleep. Perhaps you-"

"No," Mr. Crepsley interrupted. "You do not understand. I could not have done it because..." He looked away sheepishly. "I cannot read or write."

The vampire might have had two heads, the way Harkat and me gawped at him.

"Of course you can read and write!" I bellowed. "You signed your name when we checked in."

"Signing one's name is an easy feat," he replied quietly, with wounded dignity. "I can read numbers and recognize certain words - I am able to read maps quite accurately - but as for genuine reading and writing..." He shook his head.

"How can you not be able to read or write?" I asked ignorantly.

"Things were different when I was young. The world was simpler. It was not necessary to be a master of the written word. I was the fifth child of a poor family and went to work at the age of eight."

"But... but..." I pointed a finger at him. "You told me you love Shakespeare's plays and poems!"

"I do," he said. "Evanna read all his works to me over the decades. Wordsworth, Keats, Joyce - many others. I often meant to learn to read for myself, but I never got around to it."

"This is... I don't... Why didn't you tell me?" I snapped. "We've been together fifteen years, and this is the first time you've mentioned it!"

He shrugged. "I assumed you knew. Many vampires are illiterate. That is why so little of our history or laws is written down - most of us are incapable of reading."

***

The Saga of Darren Shan: Allies of the Night, Chapter 1