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When Worlds Collide 3

Mar 15th, 2017
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  1. >"We gotta meet down at the harba!"
  2. >"Please get off of me."
  3. >"I gotta get ma nails done at the Colleoni salon!"
  4. >"..."
  5. >"An' after that I'm gonna go tan down at the beach!"
  6. >"..."
  7. >"Baba bing bada boom, forget about it!"
  8. >"...Lyra, Princess Twilight, somepony please get this crazy stallion off of me."
  9. >You wouldn't say that you knew Bonbon all that well
  10. >You had seen her around town, and you knew that her and Lyra were good friends, but the two of you never really hung out all that much
  11. >But, even though you couldn't say that you were anything other than acquaintances, you did know that she was a very calm and collected mare
  12. >From what you've seen and from what Lyra and the other girls have told you, Bonbon never yelled, she almost never got upset, and she never said anything that she didn't mean
  13. >The earth pony was a sweetheart, as kind as she was honest, and a gentlemare to the bone
  14. >But, as you watched her struggling against Prince Anonymous's grasp, you could tell that her kindness and calm were at their limit
  15. >When Anon had come back over into your world through the transgate, you had decided to take him down to Ponyville to see the sites
  16. >Since it would probably shock a bunch of ponies to see a human just pop out of nowhere, you decided to take him to Bonbon's house first
  17. >The mare used to be a monster hunter amongst other things, so you, Twilight, and Lyra popping up with another human wouldn't be too much of a shock for her
  18. >It would also help Anon to ease into meeting all of these new, probably different ponies before you dumped him into the deep end
  19. >But, as you quickly found out, the prince wasn’t shy about meeting new ponies
  20. >Not shy at all
  21. >"Pow! Right in the kisser! Why I oughta! Why I oughta! Straight to the moon!"
  22.  
  23.  
  24. >Anon, who was rubbing his cheek against the frazzled mare's neck, was using one hand to rub her chest and the other to pat her head
  25. >You had always been weary about petting ponies, not wanting to think of them as big, fuzzy dogs, but it seemed that Anon had absolutely no qualms with this
  26. >He also seemed to be immensely entertained by her accent which, admittedly sounded like a jersey girl's
  27. >For the past twenty minutes he had poor Bonbon sitting in his lap while he petted her and said a whole bunch of nonsense in a dozen different accents that didn't sound anything like hers
  28. >One second it was a boston accent, the next it was some weird bastardized version of a Chicago accent
  29. >...At one point you were also pretty sure you had heard something that founded remarkably similar to a racist Japanese accent like from the old fifties' cartoons
  30. >Bonbon, looking very uncomfortable, tried to wiggled out from the prince's grasp but Anon held firm, using his legs to keep her from going anywhere
  31. >You knew that, if she wanted to, the earth pony could easily escape, but she didn't want to hurt the guy
  32. >So she just sat there and took the affection, her tail tucked between her legs and a bright blush on her face
  33. >She was looking at each of you with those pretty blues eyes of hers, silently begging for aid
  34. >Unfortunately for her Lyra was too busy trying not to laugh, and Twilight looked a mixture of horrified and fascinated
  35. >And you...
  36. >Well, you didn't know how to feel...
  37. >Anon looked pretty silly, and Bonbon looked like she wanted to crawl underneath something, but no one was getting hurt...
  38. >And Bonbon DID look fuzzy…
  39. >...
  40. >But this REALLY wasn’t okay, right?
  41. >And what would his wife think?
  42. >"Goddammit are you so CUTE," Anon said, blowing a raspberry on the earth pony's neck. >"Say Lyra again. Ohohoho! No, say, 'let's get some disco fries down in Brick City.'."
  43. >Bonbon looked up at you
  44.  
  45.  
  46. >"Lero, please help me."
  47. >She tensed when Anon gave her neck another raspberry as he rocked her back and forth
  48. >"...For Celestia's sake don't make me beg."
  49. >A guffaw escaped Lyra before she managed to cover her mouth with both of her hooves
  50. >Bonbon gave her a nasty glare before looking back at you
  51. >You couldn't help but chuckle
  52. >Yeah...
  53. >Someone needed to stop this...
  54. "Anon? How about we take you around town for a bit?" you asked. "I'm sure you want to go out and see what's different from your Ponyville."
  55. >"Yeah, go outside and take a walk," Bonbon said, tugging at his hands. "Go outside and let me go. Please."
  56. >She had almost managed to slip out of the prince's grasp when his arms snapped back in place, pulling her against him
  57. >"Just give me a couple of minutes," he said, giving her belly a rub. "The Bonnie in my world is too much of a grump to let me pet her, so I need to get it out of my system."
  58. >For a second, Bonbon's eyes glazed over
  59. >She threw back her head and let out a quiet knicker, wiggling herself into Anon's lap as his fingers dug into the fur on her soft tummy
  60. >It lasted for only a moment before Bonbon regained control of herself, but by then it was already too late
  61. >Lyra had to bite a hoof, her body shaking with barely restrained laughter
  62. >Twilight was giggling, her eyes bright with glee
  63. >The earth pony herself was redder than Big Mac, covering her face with both hooves and mumbling to herself
  64. >"D-Dumb Benny..."
  65. >"Who's a good little horse?"
  66. >"Shut u-up and let me go..."
  67. >"You are! Yes you are!"
  68. >"...Y-Yeah I a-am..."
  69.  
  70.  
  71. >Ten minutes passed before, with a sigh, Anon released his grip on Bonbon
  72. >"Alrighty, it's all out of my system," he said, giving her rump a little pat. "Off you go."
  73. >For a second it almost looked like the earth pony wanted to stay where she was, but a chuckle from Lyra had her hopping up and scurrying out of the room
  74. >"Sorry about that, folks," Anon said, taking the hand that you offered and pulling himself to his feet. "The Bonnie back home doesn't have that accent, so when I heard it I couldn't resist."
  75. >Twilight cleared her throat, a smile still on her face
  76. >"It's nothing to worry about, Anon," she said. "We aren't on a schedule. Though I'd ask you to keep yourself from petting ponies when we get outside. Even though Lero's been around here for years, more than a few of them are still... jumpy around non-ponies."
  77. >Lyra wiped a tear from her eye
  78. >”Don't you be sorry, your highness. You've given me something to tease Bonbon for the rest of her life with."
  79. >A grimace came to Anon's face as he dusted himself off
  80. >"Please, none of that your highness garbage. I'm just a normal guy like everyone else," he said, slapping you on the back. "And I can't promise not to pet anyone, Princess Twilight. Anyone on my side of the portal will tell you that I'm a petter."
  81. >For a moment, you let yourself imagine Anon walking up to one of the flower sisters and petting them or, worse yet, Honeydew or one of her sisters
  82. >...
  83. >Yeah...
  84. >That wouldn't be good...
  85. "We'll just have to make sure you to tell you which ponies you can pet and which ones kick," you said
  86.  
  87. ~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
  88.  
  89. >The walk through town was, as you expected, filled with stares and whispers
  90. >No pony could keep this eyes off of Anon, who was walking along with a smile on his face
  91.  
  92.  
  93. >You could tell that many were surprised to see another human
  94. >Here and there you could also hear angry grumbles and racist remarks, but you did your best to ignore them
  95. >With Twilight here, you knew that no one would do anything rash or stupid
  96. >Not that they WOULD, but you knew how unpredictable ponies got when they were excited...
  97. >Anon didn't even seem to notice the whispers or weary and distrustful looks, making his way down the street with a pep in his step
  98. >"So where's your other girl? Off in some tree fast asleep?"
  99. >Perking up, you looked over to see the prince staring at you
  100. "Rainbow? She went to Dodge City this morning to help the weather team there clear up some clouds that swept down from the north."
  101. >Anon raised an eyebrow
  102. >"Frozen north clouds?" he asked. "Aren't those filled with ice magic?"
  103. >Twilight, who was trotting next to you, nodded
  104. >"Rainbow was the closest specialist for those kind of clouds, so Cloudsdale sent her over so that the clouds could be safely destroyed."
  105. >Blinking, the prince nodded
  106. >"Huh. Well, that's neat," he said. "I didn't think that Rainbow could be a specialist at anything..."
  107. >A bolt of indignation swept through you at the causal insult, but you ignored it
  108. >You knew that he didn't mean it that way...
  109. "What does your Rainbow do, Anon?" you asked
  110. >"She's supposed to be part of the weather team, but most of the time she just lays around and sleeps," Anon replied with a shake of his head. "If it wasn't for my Twilight they'd have probably fired her by now."
  111. >Really...?
  112. >Your Rainbow busted her flank for the weather team...
  113. >Sure, she had been a bit lazy before you had been dating, but now she worked harder than anyone...
  114. >In fact, she was talking about how her bosses in Cloudsdale wanted to promote her...
  115.  
  116.  
  117. "Well, my Rainbow is not only a specialist but she's the head of the weather team around here," you said, a bit of pride creeping into your voice
  118. >As you walked by a group of ponies, Anon reached over and bopped Thunderlane on the nose
  119. >The stallion took two steps back, a horsey snort escaping him as his nose scrunched up
  120. >"You should let me borrow her for a little bit then. My Ponyville could use some hard-working pegasi to help clear the skies."
  121. >You were about to open your mouth to answer when, out of the corner of your eye, you could see a pink blur making its way toward you
  122. >...
  123. >Oh no...
  124. >Eyes widening, you tried shoving Anon out of the way, but you were too slow
  125. >The blur slammed into the prince, forcing him to stumble backward
  126. >Both Twilight and Lyra whipped their heads around as a giggle filled the air
  127. >"Pinkie!" they both shouted
  128. >Pinkie Pie, party pony extraordinaire, looked up at Anon with a big smile on her face
  129. >"Hiya!" she chirped
  130. >Anon, looking down at the pink mare, smiled back
  131. >"Well, hello to you too, Ponka Pee."
  132. >Pinkie giggled again as Twilight's magical aura encased her body and pulled her off of him
  133. >"Pinkie! You can't go around tackling ponies!" you wife said, setting Pinkie down in front of her. "You could have hurt the princ--"
  134. >"Anon."
  135. >"--Anon here!"
  136. >"Oh, I wouldn't hurt him, silly," Pinkie replied with a snort and a wave
  137. >"You don't know that, Pinkie."
  138. >"Of course I do, Twilight. My party pony tackle rolled too low!"
  139. >...
  140. >What?
  141. >"Don't worry about it, princess," Anon said before Twilight could say anymore. "I have a Pinkie back home, remember? I'm used to stuff like this."
  142.  
  143.  
  144. >"Ohhh! I liked that Pinkie! She might have had some silly ideas on parties but she could tell one heck of a knock-knock joke!" Pinkie said with a happy wiggle
  145. >Giving your wife a smile--and her chest a rub, you couldn't help but notice-- the prince took a step forward so that he was standing in front Pinkie
  146. >Placing a hand on the top of her head, he gave her scalp a scratch
  147. >Pinkie cooed, leaning into his hand and closing her eyes
  148. >"Yeah... Just like that... Scratch my ears too..." the party pony said, her back leg kicking
  149. >You, along with half the town, watched as Anon did as she asked, even going a step further and adding his other hand to the scratching, much to Pinkie's delight
  150. >"Oh yeah... Momma likes," she said her tongue lolling out of her mouth
  151. >Twilight facehoofed, grumbling to herself
  152. >"Pinkie... Do you mind telling us WHY you tackled Anon here?"
  153. >"My Pinkie sense was--a little lower please-- telling me that somepony new was in town, so I decided to say hello," the party pony said, balancing on her front hooves as she nuzzled Anon's hand with more and more vigor
  154. >"That mare has superb balance," Lyra said, and was mostly ignored in favor of watching the petting that was going on in front of you
  155. >" I also wanted to see if they were going to--scratch those ears, Nonners. Scratch 'em hard-- stay long enough for a party."
  156. >Pinkie cracked open an eye to look at Anon, who had a small smile on his face
  157. >”So whatcha say, Nonny?”
  158. >Anon hummed thoughtfully
  159. >"Well, unfortunately I can't stay the whole day, Pinkie," he said, giving her neck and chin a scratch
  160. >"Aw, how come?"
  161. >"I have to take my little girl to school tomorrow because my wife's busy with royal things."
  162. >"Then why don't you just bring them here? Pinkie's parties are fun for all ages."
  163. >"Because my darling wife would give me grief if she found out I let her little girl skip school tomorrow because she was up all night eating cupcakes and drinking punch."
  164. >Pinkie's nose scrunched up
  165. >"That's dumb. School's dumb," she grumbled
  166.  
  167.  
  168. >"It is," Anon said with a nod. "School’s for chumps. Unfortunately, Celestia wants my little girls to be chumps. So they need to go get their education."
  169. >Giving her cheek one final pat, he took a step away from Pinkie and stood up to his full height
  170. >"But maybe another time, huh? Or maybe you and the other Pinkie could come up with something?"
  171. >Though looking just a bit disappointed, Pinkie nodded
  172. >"Alright, but I'm going to make sure it's the bestest party that anypony's ever seen."
  173. >"You always say that," Lyra said
  174. >"Yep!" Pinkie said with a hop. "So where are you silly fillies going? Down to Sugarcube Corner?"
  175. >"You hit the nail right on the head, Pinkie," Anon replied, looking back at you all. "We're gonna go and get something to eat. Then Twilight's probably going to take me back to her castle and talk me into getting her to poke at me."
  176. >Twilight stiffened
  177. >"I-I would never do something like that!" she immediately protested
  178. >Anon snorted
  179. >"Please. If you're anything like the one from my world then you're probably gnawing at the bone to see if me and Lero here are any different."
  180. >...
  181. >He's probably not wrong...
  182. >You watched as your wife took a step back, her eyes darting around
  183. >"I would never--! I mean, I wouldn't say no, but--! What I mean is--!"
  184. >Realizing that she was rambling, Twilight's mouth snapped shut
  185. >Her wings ruffled at her sides, and you could see her nose scrunching up the way it did when she was embarrassed
  186. >Puffing out her cheeks, she explosively sighed, looking down at the ground and shyly kicking at the dirt
  187. >"...Anon?"
  188. >"Yes Twilight?"
  189. >Twilight's ears perked up before going flat against the sides of her skull
  190.  
  191.  
  192. >"Would it be alright if I maybe... examined you? Just for a little bit? Please?"
  193. >Anon smiled
  194. >"As long as you don't try to take any of my bones or come at me with any phallic instruments then it's fine with me."
  195. >Lyra brushed past you
  196. >"Now that we got that out of the way, why don't we get to Sugarcube Corner before the lunch rush hour?"
  197. >Pinkie's eyes lit up
  198. >"Yeah! I can give Nonny here a cupcake on the house!"
  199. >"Then let's get going!" Anon said, picking up Pinkie and hoisting her on his shoulders
  200. >The party pony giggled, her tail swishing back and forth as he began to make his way down the street
  201. >Lyra and Twilight were quick to follow
  202. >...
  203. >Wait...
  204. >Didn't the princesses NOT want you to say anything about Anon being from a different reality?"
  205. >You were pretty sure that they DIDN'T want something like that to come out yet...
  206. >Looking around at all of the staring ponies, you thickly swallowed
  207. "...Um, we'd really appreciate it if you all kept quiet about this," you said. "At least for now, until the princesses come out and tell everyone."
  208. >No one said a thing, they just stared at you with wide, disbelieving eyes
  209. >...
  210. >Yeah...
  211. >That's what you figured...
  212.  
  213. ~_~_~_~_~_~_
  214.  
  215. >"So everything's done then, Honeydew? We'll be good for the next couple of weeks?"
  216. >You leaned back into your chair and closed your eyes
  217. >On either side of you were your sisters, Honeybee and Honeysuckle
  218.  
  219.  
  220. >Honey season was starting up, and because of it the three of you had been very, very busy
  221. >As much as you loved your charity work, it didn't pay the bills
  222. >You were a honey farmer first, and that had taken all of your time
  223. >From sunrise to sunset the three of you had been working
  224. >The bees had to be primed, jars had to be bought, Honeybee had to go to Canterlot to argue with the shipping company you used again
  225. >It was, like always, a mess
  226. >None of you had gotten much sleep the past month, and you could tell that the stress was starting to get to everypony
  227. >Which was why, after the three of you had finished ordering the last batch of jars you'd need for this season, the three of you decided to take a little break
  228. >And sure, going to Sugarcube Corner wasn't much of a break, but it was better than nothing
  229. >At least you were away from the house and the honeycomb hives...
  230. "Yeah, we just need to wait for the bees to increase their production and we'll be able to start collecting the honey," you said, taking a sip of your sweet tea
  231. >You had no idea how Mr. Cake made the stuff, but it was AMAZING…
  232. >You could have drank ten gallons of the stuff...
  233. >Honeysuckle groaned, laying her head against the table you were all sitting at
  234. >"I swear to Celestia if I hear another bee buzz I'm going to lose it."
  235. >"Hey, the hard part is over, sis," Honeysuckle said, giving your little sister a pat on the back. "All we need to do is collect and bottle the stuff."
  236. >Honeysuckle groaned again, wiggling in her seat
  237. >You couldn't help but chuckle
  238. >What a little colt...
  239. >You took another sip of your tea, resting your elbows on the table
  240. >Still, you understood where your little sister was coming from
  241. >It had been a particularly rough beginning for this season…
  242. >A lot of things had gone wrong, and you all had there were a lot of headaches ahead of you
  243. >But it'd be over in a month or two
  244. >After that you'd all have enough bits to just lay around for the rest of the year
  245. >You'd be able to start up your charity work again, Honeysuckle could go down to The Steam Donkey to hit on disinterested stallions every night, and Honeybee could start worrying about next year's season
  246.  
  247.  
  248. >You sighed, just taking a moment to enjoy the calm before the storm
  249. >Unfortunately for you, that peace was quickly interrupted
  250. >"Will you look at that..."
  251. >"Sweet Celestia above. Is that...?"
  252. >"Oh great. There's another one of them..."
  253. >The whispers were quiet at first, but as the seconds passed they grew louder and more numerous until they couldn’t be ignored
  254. >Your curiosity soon got the better of you, and you opened your eyes to see what all of the fuss was about
  255. >Everypony sitting outside of Sugarcube Corner was staring down the street
  256. >Following their gaze, you saw something that made your blood freeze
  257. >The monster and its herd were making their way toward the bakery
  258. >But that wasn't all
  259. >There was another one of those... THINGS with them...
  260. >Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Honeybee staring at the group as well
  261. "Is that...?"
  262. >The calm, peaceful feeling that you had been trying so hard to cultivate shattered into a million pieces
  263. >Revulsion and anger replaced it
  264. >What was ANOTHER one of those monsters doing here?!
  265. >How did it get here?!
  266. >WHY was it here?!
  267. >Didn't it know that this was a PONY town?!
  268. >Pinkie Pie, the pink weirdo that she was, was sitting on this new monster's shoulders
  269. >There was a smile on her face, and even from here you could tell she was giggling to herself
  270. >Fear began to mingle with your anger and disgust
  271. >This was how it started...
  272. >First one of them came in to get everypony used to it, and then they brought another one in
  273. >Then, before you knew it, Ponyville would be overrun with them!
  274. >Herds of ponies and monsters!
  275. >Monsters setting up shops!
  276. >They might eventually find a way to mate with ponies, then you’d have half-breeds running around town!
  277.  
  278.  
  279. >You found yourself rising to your hooves
  280. >"Honeydew, please sit down," Honeybee said
  281. >You ignored her, brow furrowing
  282. >"Sis, please!"
  283. >...
  284. >You needed to do something...
  285. >One monster in this town was already bad enough...
  286. "I'll be right back..."
  287. >Puffing your chest out, you marched toward the group
  288. >As busy conversing with each other as they were, they didn’t notice you until the last second
  289. "Hey!"
  290. >Princess Twilight and Lyra's heads snapped toward you
  291. >Their monster jumped, looking at you with wide eyes
  292. >The one carrying Pinkie stopped, it's beady blue eyes snapping toward you
  293. >You drew yourself up to your full height, glaring at it
  294. "We don't want anymore of you in this town!"
  295. >It looked on either side of it, its gaze settling on the princess
  296. >"...Well, even though I think she looks a little silly with the wings, I think you could have more than zero alicorns in this town," it said
  297. >You blinked
  298. "...What? No! I was talking about you!" you said
  299. >It blinked, confusion coming to its face
  300. >"Me? What the heck's wrong with me, Honeydew?"
  301. >The fur on the back of your neck stood on end
  302. >How did it know your name?!
  303. "Don't you say my name you bucking monster!" you growled
  304. >You ignored the ponies gasping around you, taking a step toward the group
  305. >You didn't care what you needed to do, you were getting this... THING out of town!
  306. >To your surprise, a smile came to the monster's face
  307. >"Hang on, is this Honeydew a racist little horse?" he asked, sounded excited
  308. >His hideous smile widened
  309. >"Oh my god, that's so cute!"
  310. >Your gaze flicked toward Princess Twilight
  311.  
  312.  
  313. "Princess, I don't care if you brought this thing in to be another weird lover, but you can't keep letting them in town! They might eat somepony!"
  314. >Looks of anger came to Lyra and Princess Twilight's, but you could care less
  315. >They couldn't keep bringing these things in
  316. >The second that you took your eye off them somepony would get hurt
  317. >You knew it...
  318. >"Hey! The only pony Nonny here eats is his wife!" Pinkie said, pointing a hoof at you
  319. >The monster looked up at her for a few seconds before slowly nodding
  320. >"That's wildly inappropriate, but she's not wrong," it said
  321. >...
  322. >WHAT?!
  323. >Another pony was STUPID enough to marry one of these things?!
  324. >Horse apples!
  325. >Nopony was that dumb!
  326. >You couldn't believe it!
  327. >You wouldn't believe it!
  328. >The new monster carefully lifted Pinkie off of its shoulders
  329. >For a second, you thought it was going to hold her over its mouth and start chomping, but to your relief it put her down on that ground
  330. >Your relief was quickly forgotten however, because it began to make its way toward you
  331. >"Anon, stay away from her," Lyra warned as you stomped a hoof and snorted
  332. >"Why are you so grumpy, little horse?" it said, ignoring her
  333. >"Anon, don't!" the other freak said, taking a step forward
  334. >Again the warning was ignored
  335. >You stood your ground, your body tensing
  336. >If it touched you it was going to get bucked into next week...
  337. >You didn't care what happened to you after that...
  338. "You better listen to your wranglers," you said with a sneer
  339. >"Is it just a thing with humans or do you just not like non-ponies?"
  340. >Your nostrils flared
  341. >You could smell it...
  342.  
  343.  
  344. "I'm not going to tell you again!"
  345. >"Did a non-pony steal your ball when you were little? Maybe it was candy or an ice cream cone?"
  346. >It continued forward with seemingly no concern for its safety
  347. >This lack of self-preservation forced you to take a step back, your ears pinning themselves against the sides of your skull
  348. >It was coming to get you...
  349. >It was going to attack you with those claws and teeth...
  350. >You took another step back
  351. >As the monster closed the distance between the two of you, you gritted your teeth
  352. >You were going to kick it...
  353. >If it touched you you were going to kick it...
  354. >It crotched down, its eyes narrowing
  355. >"The Honeydew that I know is a sweet little mare that helps at the local orphanage," it said, leaning toward you. "So why are you so different?"
  356. "You don't know anything about me, freak!" you yelled, baring your teeth
  357. >It was silent for a moment
  358. >You think you could hear your sister's urging you to come back toward the table, but you kept your gaze glued on the beast's blue eyes
  359. >"...No, it's not anything like that is it?" it said slowly. "Something happened to you when you were--"
  360. >You didn't hear the rest
  361. >Whipping around, you let your earth pony magic flow through you
  362. >You had to hit it first...
  363. >Strike before you were struck…
  364. “GET AWAY FROM ME!”
  365. >Your back legs connected with the thing's chest
  366. >It was a hard kick
  367. >Hard enough to knock it off of its feet and send it flying through the air
  368. >"ANON!" The other beast cried
  369. >Looking over your shoulder, you watched as it flew over Princess Twilight and slammed against the side of the Quill and Soap shop
  370. >There was a sharp crack as the wooden wall bent under its body
  371. >A small smile came to your face
  372. >There, you di--
  373.  
  374. ~_~_~_~_~_~_~
  375.  
  376. "ANON!"
  377. >You raced toward the prince as the prince flew threw the air and slammed into the side of the Quill and Sofa shop
  378. >Nononononono!
  379. >You heart skipped a beat when you saw the building's wooden walls crack around Anon’s body
  380. >You had seen first-hand how strong earth ponies were
  381. >They could kick down trees, destroy boulders with nothing but their bare hooves, you had even seen them pull TRAINS
  382. >And, while Honeydew was no Applejack, you didn't doubt she was strong enough to cave a human's chest in with a single kick
  383. >And, from the way Anon had flown, you were sure she had done just that
  384. >You heard Anon wheeze painfully, slumping down to the floor, his eyes wide his surprise and pain
  385. >This was bad!
  386. >This was very, very bad!
  387. >You needed to take him to the hospital right away!
  388. >You needed--
  389. >"Motherfucker," you heard Anon rasp, his face turning a little red
  390. >As you slid next to him he leaned forward, pounding a fist against his chest
  391. >You quickly grabbed his arm, not wanting him to hurt himself anymore than he already was
  392. "Anon! Don't move! Stay still! We’ll get you some help!”
  393. >Anon's face continued to get redder and redder
  394. >Your panic flared up
  395. >If his chest was caved in that meant he probably couldn't breathe
  396. >You didn't have to worry about trauma or internal bleeding, he was going to suffocate before you managed to get him help!
  397. >You grabbed the prince's shoulder, your mind racing, thinking of a way to save him
  398. >But then, to your shock, Anon gasped, sucking in a lungful of air
  399. >...
  400.  
  401.  
  402. >What...?
  403. >Exhaling, he quickly inhaled
  404. >"That... little turd. Knocked... the wind... outta... me," he said in between gasps
  405. >...
  406. >What?
  407. >As he caught his breath, you gently touched his chest
  408. >Even though you weren't a doctor, everything seemed fine
  409. >Going lower, you poked at his belly and ribs through his t-shirt
  410. >Again they seemed completely alright...
  411. >As you were doing this, Anon stared at you in confusion
  412. >"You might... want to buy me dinner first... guy."
  413. >You ignored him, your panic turning into confusion
  414. >Nothing seemed broken...
  415. >He wasn't bleeding...
  416. >He was completely alert and awake...
  417. >Stupefied, you looked him in the eye
  418. "Are you alright?"
  419. >"I'll be fine," he said, grimacing as he touched his chest. "A lot better than Honeydew over there. Looks like your woman knocked her the fuck out."
  420. "But you got kicked by an earth pony!" you said, your voice cracking
  421. >Anon's brow furrowed
  422. >"So?"
  423. "So it should have killed you!"
  424. >"Don't worry my number two monkey man! Nurse Pinkie's here!"
  425. >You were unceremoniously shoved out of the way by Pinkie, who was wearing a nurse's outfit and holding a white bag with a red cross on it
  426. >...
  427. >Where did she...?
  428. >Opening her little bag, Pinkie pulled out a dozen lollipops, a comically-sized band-aid, and a jar filled with what looked like leeches
  429. >"Where are your bobo's, Nonners?"
  430. >Anon rolled his shoulders, grunting as he cracked his neck
  431. >"I'm fine. I just got the wind knocked out of me is all. But I would appreciate it if you helped me up."
  432.  
  433.  
  434. >Both you and Pinkie helped him to his feet
  435. >You stood right next to him, ready to catch him if you needed to
  436. >But it looked like this was no need
  437. >He was walking fine...
  438. >...
  439. >How...?
  440. >The three of you made your way over to Lyra and Twilight
  441. >Lyra was standing over an unconscious Honeydew while your other wife was talking to the other honey sisters
  442. >She was doing her best to be civil, but you could hear the anger in her voice
  443. >"--I'm sorry girls, but we'll have to take her to the guard."
  444. >"Please your highness! I know this looks bad but it isn't her fault! We've all been working so hard and--"
  445. >"There's no excuse for attacking a stallion out in public for good reason!"
  446. >"Human," Anon said
  447. >Stiffening, Twilight looked over at him
  448. >"Anon! Are you alright? Why are you standing? You need to be lying down!"
  449. >She looked over at Pinkie, her eyes wide and panicked
  450. >"Pinkie! I thought I told you to get him to the hospital! He's--"
  451. >"Easy there. Easy," Anon said, giving her a pat on the head. "I'm fine."
  452. >"No you're not," Twilight said with a shake of her head, panic creeping into voice. "You were just kicked by an earth pony! If we're lucky she just caved you..."
  453. >Twilight trailed off, confusion replacing panic
  454. >"How are you... you shouldn't be..."
  455. >That was when you saw it
  456. >A glint in her eye
  457. >The same glint that you've seen in your wife many, many times
  458. >And with it you could practically see the two questions that were no doubt in Twilight's mind
  459. >Why, and How?
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