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 >tennis shirt in the center
 
 >Hey there, my name is Sarah L. Heartstrings.
 >I'm a girl who attends NJ High School for the Gifted
 >I make straight A's, and am the star player on the tennis team
 >I seem to be in with the popular crowd, which is nice.
 >However, I seem to have a bit of an obsession with horses
 >horses are wonderful creatures. Their mane, their tail, their endurace, their bodies; they're just so majestic I wander what fucking one would be like
 >I secretly wish I was a horse
 >I feel like I was meant to be a horse, that being a human wasn't for me
 >can't tell anyone at school, who knows what they would do
 >one day, soon after this racist kid comes to our school, this purple girl pops up out of nowhere
 >claims she's a horse from a world of magical horses
 >really wanna know more about this girl
 >hangs out with the racist kid a lot
 >don't wanna be seen with racist
 >but wtf the purple girl never leaves his side
 
 >work at a local Sonic Drive-In after school from 4-7
 >another usual evening
 >get an order for 15 orders of just fries, weird
 >get them ready to bring to spot #4
 >it turns out to be the racist guy and the purple girl
 >as i walk up, they recognize me from school
 >I say hi to the purple girl
 >the racist guy smiles and says hey, I give a quick wave trying not to talk to him
 >as I give the fries to them, the purple girl ducks her head down eating the fries like a chicken or something
 >or like a horse
 >I gotta know this girl
 >I ask if we can meet up sometime just to talk and hang out
 >the purple girl says we can go to the racists kid's house
 >not what I had in mind
 >his name is Norman
 >he groans but says why not
 
 >We agree to meet at Norman's house tomorrow night at 7:30
 >awyeahhorsetalk
 >my friend, Bonnie, works at the Sonic with me
 >I tell her about the horse girl
 >she asks if I can ever be normal
 >I tell her to stop being such a candyass, uptight bore and live a little
 >"whatever"
 >tomorrow night comes
 >I come to Norman's house
 whaddyaknow, Norman's next door neighbor's with Bonnie
 >his mom answers the door
 >tell her I'm a friend of Norman's
 >god I hope I never have to repeat that
 >she says they're upstairs
 >I go upstairs and the purple horse girl and Norman are sitting there, the purple girl's talking his ear off about the different anatomies of humans and horses
 >I say hey and join in
 >I swerve the conversation to ask the purple girl about where she's from
 >tells me a shitload of information about how she's from some magical place
 >it's ruled by horses
 >it's ruled by fucking horses
 >the time flies by and it's eventually 11.
 >I tell them I gotta get back home for tennis practice early tomorrow morning
 >I really wanna see what the horse world would be like now
 
 >Agreed with Purple to meet the Tennis girl at 7:30 at MY house.
 >'why MY house?'
 >Purple claims cause it's nicer.
 >I dont even know where she lives and I ask her just that
 >'Well I DO have my own place where I live, but right now..im sleeping in the library' she says while fiddling with my cellphone
 >I...dont even.
 >she keeps touching random numbers in my phone while she says how cool it's to have fingers but she misses her hooves.
 >Srs.
 >The Tennis girls arrives and brings a friend that seems as excited as me.
 >THE HORSE TALK BEGINS
 >Horse kingdom, Princess in the moon, some avatar of chaos, a gala with horses, gotta admit that Purple puts detail into things
 >The ride continues 'till 11
 >Tennis says she has to leave and so she does.
 >I ask the same about Purple who seems to have brought a sleeping bag with her.
 >Mom makes me sleeps in the living couch so Purple has my own bed.
 >I never asked for this.
 
 >Bonnie tells me she honestly kind of likes how I talk "crazy" about horses sometimes
 >she says for her its a morbid curiosity thing
 >my eyes glance out her window and catch Norman
 >hey, the purple girl is with him
 >that's it, I'm gonna get to this horse world
 >I turn to Bonnie and ask if she wants to come with me to a world of horses
 >"what?"
 >I don't take time to explain
 >I shove her off and run out of her room
 >out the door to Norman's house
 >I hear Bonnie running after me, shouting
 >get to Norman's house
 >ring the doorbell
 >Bonnie catches up to me, demanding what the hell is going on
 >Norman's mom answers the door
 >before she can give a, "hello again" I'm rushing up to Norman's room
 >faintly hear Bonnie apologizing or something
 >bust open the door to find the purple girl lecturing Norman
 >tell her I'm coming back to the horse world with her
 >the purple girl says it's called Equestria
 >Equestria
 >sounds preddy cool
 >the purple girl says she would be delighted, that "Salestia" would be very interested if she brought back a human
 >awwwwwwyeahhorseworld
 >she says to get back to Equestria, she needs to win prom queen this year
 >weird, but ok
 >say I'll help out by being part of her campaign group
 >just then Bonnie walks in, looking flustered
 >"Sarah, what in god's name are you doing?"
 >Bonnie, would you like to help this girl here become prom queen?
 >"why?"
 >because she's really nice, and sweet, and I'm helping her, so you should too
 >"whatever"
 >I say I'll let the tennis team know, see if we can get anyone else to help out or at least vote for purple girl and head out with Bonnie
 >tell Norman's mom sorry for barging in, I just had to talk to purple girl
 >she says it was quite alright since she knew me from yesterday
 >she seems nice, I guess his family isn't racist
 
 >as we're walking back to Bonnie's house, she asks if that's the racist kid from school
 >I say his name's Norman and he doesn't really seem racist since he hangs out with the purple girl
 >Bonnie tells me her name's Twilight Sparkle
 >how did you know that?
 >"She sits in front of me in Trigonometry."
 >Bonnie also tells me Norman has a thing for the white girl with the purple hair
 >man, what a racist douche
 >Bonnie asks me why I'm helping Twilight become prom queen and the world of horses I mentioned earlier
 >Twilight said if she wins prom queen, she can get back to her horse world, Equestria, and that I could come with
 >Bonnie stares at me
 >"Are you serious right now? THAT's why you're helping her? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! It's bullsh- it's horseshit!"
 >I tell her to come with me
 >she says even if that was true, no way would she go to a world ruled by horses and ponies
 >I thought you said you liked all the horse stuff I talk about
 >"I said I like you talking about itbecause it's funny!"
 >I tell her I would be so happy, we can go there together
 >She says she'll humor me and if there really is a horse world, she'll help me get there and come with me
 >itbegins.jpg
 
 >next morning at tennis practice
 >after practice ends I hand teammates flyers with Twilight on them saying to vote for this girl for prom queen 2013
 >they say "doesn't she hang around with that racist?"
 >you mean Norman? yeah-
 >they reply "Oh, so you know his name, do you? I wouldn't vote for anyone who's friends with racists"
 >they walk off all smug
 >well that could've gone better
 >now it's just me and one other teammate on the court
 >it's that rainbow haired girl
 >as she's leaving I hand her a flyer
 >she says Twilight's her friend and she didn't know Twilight was running for prom queen
 >she asks for one more flyer to give to her friend over there
 >I look over, her friend's that shy yellow girl I see around school
 >rainbow girl says maybe she and her friend can help
 >not sure how that yellow girl will help, she never says anything
 >whatever, the more the merrier, I hand rainbow girl a flyer and it's off to my classes.
 
 >I run into Twilight and Norman in the hall
 >he's telling Twilight no one will take his flyers
 >Twilight sees me and says to help him, she wanders down the hall to tell people to vote for her
 >wellthisisawkward
 >I ask Norman if he's really a racist
 >"No! Why would I be a racist? I just moved here from out of state, I don't even talk to anyone here, Twilight just won't stop following me."
 >I heard you have a thing for the one white girl here, though. That seems interesting considering everyone says you're racist
 >"Listen, just because I like a hot girl that happens to be aryan looking and white doesn't mean anything."
 >whatever, you don't seem like such a bad guy I guess.
 >"Holy shit, someone believes me. Thank you for once."
 >yeah, we'll have to get this misunderstanding sorted out. I'll talk to Twilight about it
 >I turn to walk off and immediately run into Brad, the quarterback for our highschool
 >he was eating a corndog covered in mustard, which got on my skirt
 >I hate mustard
 >never really talked much to him. Seemed kind of stupid
 >but damn did he look good
 >I gave him a flyer and said to vote Twilight for prom queen this year
 >he stares at it for a few seconds, then loudly blurts out in a deep, but nasally voice,
 >"Oh hey, that's Twily!"
 >yeah, Twilight is trying to win prom queen, you should vote for her
 >"Tell Twily she's got my vote!"
 >he says with a mouth full of corndog
 
 >later in the day giving out more flyers and "vote for Twilight"s
 >accidentally bump into prom queen from last year
 >and the prom queen the last 3 years in a row
 >I never really talked to her, but people always said she was a total cunt
 >she calls herself Sunset Shimmer
 >Sunset freaking Shimmer, what the hell kind of a name is that? That can't be her real name
 >she's going for prom queen again this year
 >I say sorry for bumping into her
 >she notices my flyers with Twilight on them
 >"So, I see you're trying to help that girl who keeps going on about horses to win prom queen."
 >yeah, so?
 >"Do you honestly think she'll win? Against me? She's new here, she has no chance. And you, that racist, and a couple other no life's are her ragtag campaign team. Besides, I've been prom queen 3 years in a row."
 >didn't everyone also find out you banged the prom king every year?
 >"Shut up, you horsefucker! Oops, did I say that out loud?"
 >I freeze in terror for a second but laugh it off
 >Please, just because Twilight goes on about horses so much-
 >"No, I mean you. I know about your little sick fantasy with horses."
 >ohshit.jpg
 >What are you talking about?
 >"Don't play dumb, you're buying into this stuff. You think that girl will take you to a magical land of horses."
 >ohhellnaw
 >Get right in her face
 >mfw
 >If you tell ANYONE, I will end you
 >"Oh please, why would I care to tell anyone about what fetish a bitch tennis girl has? I just think it's funny."
 >"Well it's funny isn't it? Two horse obsessed freaks, a racist, and some nobodies against the prettiest girl in school with 3 prom queen wins behind her already. It would be cute if it wasn't so fucking ridiculous. I don't even need to try to run against the other horse girl, I've probably already got over half the school voting for me. Well, Ta ta horse freak <3"
 >I guess that's why people call her a top cunt
 >How did she figure out about that horse thing?
 >Bonnie wouldn't tell anyone
 >would she?
 
 >after school at work
 >Bonnie walks in a bit late
 >before she can say hi
 >Bonnie
 >look at me. We will be best friends no matter what
 >"what-"
 >we will get through this
 >but tell me, did you tell anyone about Equestria?
 >"You idiot, who would I tell anyway?"
 >ok so it's not her
 >Bonnie says it would most likely be the delusional purple girl
 >dammit she's probably right
 >the next day I ask Twilight if she's told anyone about how I want to go to Equestria with her
 >she says she only told Brad
 >fuck
 >the rest of the day random people are snickering when they look at me and giving me horseshoes and shit
 >my popularity is dropping like a rock
 >oh well, if Twilight's right I'll be out of here soon anyway
 >Sunset prom queen whore Shimmer walks by and kicks me in the shin, laughing
 >"oops" she says playfully
 >Those streaks in her hair always looked like mustard to me
 >I really hate mustard
 
 >the last week before prom goes by pretty quickly
 >Twilight seemed to get a pretty sizeable group to support her
 >pretty much all of the outcasts and fat, neckbearded videogame addicts love her
 >some say Twilight reminds them of their "waifu"
 >idon'tevenknow
 >I also got most of the tennis team to swerve towards Twilight's side after me and the rainbow girl introduced Twilight to them
 >day of prom
 >Bonnie calls me
 >says Twilight and Norman want me to help set up the school gym for prom
 >why us
 >whatever, I get there, Twilight is waltzing around acting like the manager of preparations or something
 >Twilight sees me, runs over to greet me with a hug
 >introduces me to some friends of hers
 >the white, purple haired girl, an orange girl, a pink girl, and the yellow girl who hangs out with rainbow girl
 >rainbow's there too
 >Twilight says she's happy and excited, all her friends are here and Applejack is here too.
 >suddenly remember I don't have a date for prom
 >this will be fun
 
 >6:28 p.m.
 >fuck, forgot a dress
 >man, I got really wrapped up in Twilight's campaign
 >run home and grab something out of my closet
 >only dress is one from prom as a freshman
 >dear lord it's hideous
 >mom says she'll lend me one of her prom dresses
 >thanks, mom, you're the best
 >it's meh, but it fits
 >get back to the school at 7:25
 >Bonnie is sitting at a table all by her lonesome just eating
 >pull up a chair and sit with her
 >"You're late, you know."
 >sorry, forgot a dress
 >"It's PROM, Sarah, how could you forget a dress?"
 >I blame Twilight
 >hey, I'm kinda hungry and they ran out of food, can I have a bite of that sandwich?
 >"Here, you can finish it."
 >haven't eaten since breakfast
 >take a bite
 >filled with mustard
 >of all things, mustard
 >why.jpg
 >"Hey, Norman is out on the dance floor just standing there, you should go dance with him or something."
 >Bonnie, have you ever seen me dance?
 >This is prom, just do it
 
 >fine, go to ask Norman if I can dance with him
 >he says yes
 >wedancin
 >tell him I don't think he's a bad guy at all
 >he says thanks, maybe we can hang out some time
 >I'd like that
 >as we're dancing, something magical happens
 >I look at Norman
 >He really is a handsome specimen. His features are so smooth with just a slight hint of rugged
 >his hair moves perfectly, almost like a horses mane
 >I stare into his eyes
 >oh his yes, they look so beautiful
 >Norman looks at me and smiles, looking a bit creeped out or something
 >I've fallen for this man, and I must him
 >right as I was going to confess to him what has just struck my heart, that white girl with the purple hair shows up out of fucking nowhere
 >asks to dance with him
 >he immediately obliges, leaving me alone on the dance floor
 >go sit back down with Bonnie
 >hereIsitallbrokenhearted
 
 >feel like crying
 >gotta stay positive, maybe I'll meet a handsome stallion in Equestria
 >oh what's the point, I still don't even know if it's real
 >I could eat mustard right now
 >the dances end, someone comes up to announce who is prom king and queen
 >my sadness quickly turns to anticipation
 >oh yeah, this is what I've been doing for 4 weeks now
 >"The prom king for the year of 2013 is...Brad [Redacted]!!"
 >did anyone know he was even running? whatever, now the moment of truth
 >And prom queen for the year of 2013 is...
 >Twilight Sparkle!
 >She comes up to accept the crown
 >Brad loudly exclaims "hey, Twily got an award too!"
 >Twilight is about to accept the crown
 >Sunset Shimmer snatches the crown
 >top cunt, eh?
 >she flips shit, bitching and whining about how this was her senior year and she was supposed to get prom queen all 4 years, not some ditzy cunt who blabs about horses and her racist friends
 >I'vefuckinghadenough.jpg
 >call Shimmybitch out for the bitch she is
 >and who even voted for you? No one actually seems to like you, you're just a huge cunt to everyone
->"I still was prom queen all those years, you retarded horsefucker, I think the people voted for me
+>"I still was prom queen all those years, you retarded horsefucker, I think the people voted for me
 
 >"We didn't vote for you!"
 >the rainbow girl from tennis was shouting from her table
 >with her was her yellow friend, orange girl, pink girl, and the white girl Norman liked
 >soon, other people started agreeing, claiming they never voted for Sunset Shimmer
 >some people say they voted for years ago, but just that once
 >everyone says they didn't vote for Sunset this year
 >"FINE! I actually won prom queen 3 years ago, but I rigged the ballots after that, are you fucking happy?!"
 >collective gasp
 >"I've been stuck here way too damn long, that crown is supposed to be my ticket out of here, finally back to Equestria."
 >holy shit, more horseppl
 >Twilight also seems pretty shocked
 >"You're from Equestria?" Twilight asks
 >"Yes, you idiot. I was Celestia's #1 student. I was the best. In fact, I was as good as Celestia. She thought I needed a lesson, dumb bitch. She sent me here. She said I was done with my lesson when I could come back worthy of being a princess.
 >"That crown is how I'm supposed to get the hell out of here.
 >"But every year, it never works. I thought maybe getting the crown all 4 years would work."
 >"Well now it's time to put that to the test!"
 >Sunset puts the crown on, acting all evil and shit
 >nothing happens
 >"FUCK!"
 >Twilight tells Sunset a crown is not what being a princess is about
 >she says a princess must be pure of heart, full of friendship, something like that
 >Twilight puts the crown on
 
 >All hell breaks loose
 >rumbling, sparks flying, tables overturning
 >suddenly all is quiet
 >Twilight grows these huge, hideous wings
 >a a portal opens up
 >ohhhhhh shoot
 >this is it
 >this is the horse world
 >look around for Bonnie
 >Bonnie's standing there, shocked
 >This is the Equestria Twilight's been talking about. Come with me, Bonnie
 >"How do you know if we'll be ok?"
 >realize I don't know
 >well fuck
 >uhhh...we'll be together? bff's?
 >Bonnie agrees
 >yes
 >Before we leave, Norman comes up on stage >says he's coming too
 >white girl yells at Norman asking what does he think he's doing
 >Norman says he's tired of this school
 >I don't blame him
 >if she wants, she can come too
 >white girl calls him a crazy racist
 >>racist
 >>white girl
 >wat
 >Me, Twilight, Bonnie, and Norman going to Equestria
 >Sunset Shimmer tackles us into the portal
 >"Oh no you don't!"
 
 >we dust ourselves off
 >we look up
 >the world looks much more colorful
 >mountains, puffy clouds, flowers
 >looks kind of cartoony
 >a big white horse with shimmering hair approaches us
 >"I see you've made it back with some friends, Twilight.
 >"Hello there, my name is Princess Celestia. Welcome to Equestria."
 >HOLY SHIT YES
 >YES
 >FUCK YES
 >IT'S EQUESTRIA
 >look around at everyone
 >Twilight is now a pony, still has those freakish wings
 >those really don't suit her
 >Twilight gets teary eyed saying she'll miss Brad
 >of all people
 >fucking Brad
 >big white horse with a face like Brad's comes up to Twilight
 >"TWILY"
 >Twilight suddenly becomes happy again
 >"Brother! :D"
 >mfw
 >realize we're all ponies now
 >I can die happy now
 >we all seem to have marks on out butt now
 >Twilight says those are called cutie marks, they show what your talent is
 >mine's a lyre
 >I'll roll with it
 >see Norman is now a pony
 >he's a handsome as fuck stallion
 >ohyes
 >see something very large between his legs dangling to and fro
 >oh wow, is that what I think it is
 >a massive, glorious stallion cock
 >I'll see him about that later
 >Bonnie asks how long we're going to be here
 >I don't know
 >but might as well enjoy ourselves now
 >me and Bonnie head to a local restaurant in a town nearby called Ponyville
 >classy waiter comes up
 >order a daffodil and daisy sandwich, no toppings
 >get it soon after
 >I wonder how this will taste since I'm a horse now
 >look at the sandwich
 >wait
 >something is horribly, horribly wrong
 >sandwich has mustard in it
 >I'm sorry, I said no mustard
 >waiter looks at me, smiles
 >But Sarah, you need your MUSTARD
 >wait turns into a big, insectoid horse creature
 >army of smaller horse insects out of nowhere
 >hold me down
 >force feeding me mustard
 >everything is melting around me
 >I wake up
 >it was all a dream
 >fucking mustard
 
 END.