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- >tennis shirt in the center
- >Hey there, my name is Sarah L. Heartstrings.
- >I'm a girl who attends NJ High School for the Gifted
- >I make straight A's, and am the star player on the tennis team
- >I seem to be in with the popular crowd, which is nice.
- >However, I seem to have a bit of an obsession with horses
- >horses are wonderful creatures. Their mane, their tail, their endurace, their bodies; they're just so majestic I wander what fucking one would be like
- >I secretly wish I was a horse
- >I feel like I was meant to be a horse, that being a human wasn't for me
- >can't tell anyone at school, who knows what they would do
- >one day, soon after this racist kid comes to our school, this purple girl pops up out of nowhere
- >claims she's a horse from a world of magical horses
- >really wanna know more about this girl
- >hangs out with the racist kid a lot
- >don't wanna be seen with racist
- >but wtf the purple girl never leaves his side
- >work at a local Sonic Drive-In after school from 4-7
- >another usual evening
- >get an order for 15 orders of just fries, weird
- >get them ready to bring to spot #4
- >it turns out to be the racist guy and the purple girl
- >as i walk up, they recognize me from school
- >I say hi to the purple girl
- >the racist guy smiles and says hey, I give a quick wave trying not to talk to him
- >as I give the fries to them, the purple girl ducks her head down eating the fries like a chicken or something
- >or like a horse
- >I gotta know this girl
- >I ask if we can meet up sometime just to talk and hang out
- >the purple girl says we can go to the racists kid's house
- >not what I had in mind
- >his name is Norman
- >he groans but says why not
- >We agree to meet at Norman's house tomorrow night at 7:30
- >awyeahhorsetalk
- >my friend, Bonnie, works at the Sonic with me
- >I tell her about the horse girl
- >she asks if I can ever be normal
- >I tell her to stop being such a candyass, uptight bore and live a little
- >"whatever"
- >tomorrow night comes
- >I come to Norman's house
- whaddyaknow, Norman's next door neighbor's with Bonnie
- >his mom answers the door
- >tell her I'm a friend of Norman's
- >god I hope I never have to repeat that
- >she says they're upstairs
- >I go upstairs and the purple horse girl and Norman are sitting there, the purple girl's talking his ear off about the different anatomies of humans and horses
- >I say hey and join in
- >I swerve the conversation to ask the purple girl about where she's from
- >tells me a shitload of information about how she's from some magical place
- >it's ruled by horses
- >it's ruled by fucking horses
- >the time flies by and it's eventually 11.
- >I tell them I gotta get back home for tennis practice early tomorrow morning
- >I really wanna see what the horse world would be like now
- >Agreed with Purple to meet the Tennis girl at 7:30 at MY house.
- >'why MY house?'
- >Purple claims cause it's nicer.
- >I dont even know where she lives and I ask her just that
- >'Well I DO have my own place where I live, but right now..im sleeping in the library' she says while fiddling with my cellphone
- >I...dont even.
- >she keeps touching random numbers in my phone while she says how cool it's to have fingers but she misses her hooves.
- >Srs.
- >The Tennis girls arrives and brings a friend that seems as excited as me.
- >THE HORSE TALK BEGINS
- >Horse kingdom, Princess in the moon, some avatar of chaos, a gala with horses, gotta admit that Purple puts detail into things
- >The ride continues 'till 11
- >Tennis says she has to leave and so she does.
- >I ask the same about Purple who seems to have brought a sleeping bag with her.
- >Mom makes me sleeps in the living couch so Purple has my own bed.
- >I never asked for this.
- >Bonnie tells me she honestly kind of likes how I talk "crazy" about horses sometimes
- >she says for her its a morbid curiosity thing
- >my eyes glance out her window and catch Norman
- >hey, the purple girl is with him
- >that's it, I'm gonna get to this horse world
- >I turn to Bonnie and ask if she wants to come with me to a world of horses
- >"what?"
- >I don't take time to explain
- >I shove her off and run out of her room
- >out the door to Norman's house
- >I hear Bonnie running after me, shouting
- >get to Norman's house
- >ring the doorbell
- >Bonnie catches up to me, demanding what the hell is going on
- >Norman's mom answers the door
- >before she can give a, "hello again" I'm rushing up to Norman's room
- >faintly hear Bonnie apologizing or something
- >bust open the door to find the purple girl lecturing Norman
- >tell her I'm coming back to the horse world with her
- >the purple girl says it's called Equestria
- >Equestria
- >sounds preddy cool
- >the purple girl says she would be delighted, that "Salestia" would be very interested if she brought back a human
- >awwwwwwyeahhorseworld
- >she says to get back to Equestria, she needs to win prom queen this year
- >weird, but ok
- >say I'll help out by being part of her campaign group
- >just then Bonnie walks in, looking flustered
- >"Sarah, what in god's name are you doing?"
- >Bonnie, would you like to help this girl here become prom queen?
- >"why?"
- >because she's really nice, and sweet, and I'm helping her, so you should too
- >"whatever"
- >I say I'll let the tennis team know, see if we can get anyone else to help out or at least vote for purple girl and head out with Bonnie
- >tell Norman's mom sorry for barging in, I just had to talk to purple girl
- >she says it was quite alright since she knew me from yesterday
- >she seems nice, I guess his family isn't racist
- >as we're walking back to Bonnie's house, she asks if that's the racist kid from school
- >I say his name's Norman and he doesn't really seem racist since he hangs out with the purple girl
- >Bonnie tells me her name's Twilight Sparkle
- >how did you know that?
- >"She sits in front of me in Trigonometry."
- >Bonnie also tells me Norman has a thing for the white girl with the purple hair
- >man, what a racist douche
- >Bonnie asks me why I'm helping Twilight become prom queen and the world of horses I mentioned earlier
- >Twilight said if she wins prom queen, she can get back to her horse world, Equestria, and that I could come with
- >Bonnie stares at me
- >"Are you serious right now? THAT's why you're helping her? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! It's bullsh- it's horseshit!"
- >I tell her to come with me
- >she says even if that was true, no way would she go to a world ruled by horses and ponies
- >I thought you said you liked all the horse stuff I talk about
- >"I said I like you talking about itbecause it's funny!"
- >I tell her I would be so happy, we can go there together
- >She says she'll humor me and if there really is a horse world, she'll help me get there and come with me
- >itbegins.jpg
- >next morning at tennis practice
- >after practice ends I hand teammates flyers with Twilight on them saying to vote for this girl for prom queen 2013
- >they say "doesn't she hang around with that racist?"
- >you mean Norman? yeah-
- >they reply "Oh, so you know his name, do you? I wouldn't vote for anyone who's friends with racists"
- >they walk off all smug
- >well that could've gone better
- >now it's just me and one other teammate on the court
- >it's that rainbow haired girl
- >as she's leaving I hand her a flyer
- >she says Twilight's her friend and she didn't know Twilight was running for prom queen
- >she asks for one more flyer to give to her friend over there
- >I look over, her friend's that shy yellow girl I see around school
- >rainbow girl says maybe she and her friend can help
- >not sure how that yellow girl will help, she never says anything
- >whatever, the more the merrier, I hand rainbow girl a flyer and it's off to my classes.
- >I run into Twilight and Norman in the hall
- >he's telling Twilight no one will take his flyers
- >Twilight sees me and says to help him, she wanders down the hall to tell people to vote for her
- >wellthisisawkward
- >I ask Norman if he's really a racist
- >"No! Why would I be a racist? I just moved here from out of state, I don't even talk to anyone here, Twilight just won't stop following me."
- >I heard you have a thing for the one white girl here, though. That seems interesting considering everyone says you're racist
- >"Listen, just because I like a hot girl that happens to be aryan looking and white doesn't mean anything."
- >whatever, you don't seem like such a bad guy I guess.
- >"Holy shit, someone believes me. Thank you for once."
- >yeah, we'll have to get this misunderstanding sorted out. I'll talk to Twilight about it
- >I turn to walk off and immediately run into Brad, the quarterback for our highschool
- >he was eating a corndog covered in mustard, which got on my skirt
- >I hate mustard
- >never really talked much to him. Seemed kind of stupid
- >but damn did he look good
- >I gave him a flyer and said to vote Twilight for prom queen this year
- >he stares at it for a few seconds, then loudly blurts out in a deep, but nasally voice,
- >"Oh hey, that's Twily!"
- >yeah, Twilight is trying to win prom queen, you should vote for her
- >"Tell Twily she's got my vote!"
- >he says with a mouth full of corndog
- >later in the day giving out more flyers and "vote for Twilight"s
- >accidentally bump into prom queen from last year
- >and the prom queen the last 3 years in a row
- >I never really talked to her, but people always said she was a total cunt
- >she calls herself Sunset Shimmer
- >Sunset freaking Shimmer, what the hell kind of a name is that? That can't be her real name
- >she's going for prom queen again this year
- >I say sorry for bumping into her
- >she notices my flyers with Twilight on them
- >"So, I see you're trying to help that girl who keeps going on about horses to win prom queen."
- >yeah, so?
- >"Do you honestly think she'll win? Against me? She's new here, she has no chance. And you, that racist, and a couple other no life's are her ragtag campaign team. Besides, I've been prom queen 3 years in a row."
- >didn't everyone also find out you banged the prom king every year?
- >"Shut up, you horsefucker! Oops, did I say that out loud?"
- >I freeze in terror for a second but laugh it off
- >Please, just because Twilight goes on about horses so much-
- >"No, I mean you. I know about your little sick fantasy with horses."
- >ohshit.jpg
- >What are you talking about?
- >"Don't play dumb, you're buying into this stuff. You think that girl will take you to a magical land of horses."
- >ohhellnaw
- >Get right in her face
- >mfw
- >If you tell ANYONE, I will end you
- >"Oh please, why would I care to tell anyone about what fetish a bitch tennis girl has? I just think it's funny."
- >"Well it's funny isn't it? Two horse obsessed freaks, a racist, and some nobodies against the prettiest girl in school with 3 prom queen wins behind her already. It would be cute if it wasn't so fucking ridiculous. I don't even need to try to run against the other horse girl, I've probably already got over half the school voting for me. Well, Ta ta horse freak <3"
- >I guess that's why people call her a top cunt
- >How did she figure out about that horse thing?
- >Bonnie wouldn't tell anyone
- >would she?
- >after school at work
- >Bonnie walks in a bit late
- >before she can say hi
- >Bonnie
- >look at me. We will be best friends no matter what
- >"what-"
- >we will get through this
- >but tell me, did you tell anyone about Equestria?
- >"You idiot, who would I tell anyway?"
- >ok so it's not her
- >Bonnie says it would most likely be the delusional purple girl
- >dammit she's probably right
- >the next day I ask Twilight if she's told anyone about how I want to go to Equestria with her
- >she says she only told Brad
- >fuck
- >the rest of the day random people are snickering when they look at me and giving me horseshoes and shit
- >my popularity is dropping like a rock
- >oh well, if Twilight's right I'll be out of here soon anyway
- >Sunset prom queen whore Shimmer walks by and kicks me in the shin, laughing
- >"oops" she says playfully
- >Those streaks in her hair always looked like mustard to me
- >I really hate mustard
- >the last week before prom goes by pretty quickly
- >Twilight seemed to get a pretty sizeable group to support her
- >pretty much all of the outcasts and fat, neckbearded videogame addicts love her
- >some say Twilight reminds them of their "waifu"
- >idon'tevenknow
- >I also got most of the tennis team to swerve towards Twilight's side after me and the rainbow girl introduced Twilight to them
- >day of prom
- >Bonnie calls me
- >says Twilight and Norman want me to help set up the school gym for prom
- >why us
- >whatever, I get there, Twilight is waltzing around acting like the manager of preparations or something
- >Twilight sees me, runs over to greet me with a hug
- >introduces me to some friends of hers
- >the white, purple haired girl, an orange girl, a pink girl, and the yellow girl who hangs out with rainbow girl
- >rainbow's there too
- >Twilight says she's happy and excited, all her friends are here and Applejack is here too.
- >suddenly remember I don't have a date for prom
- >this will be fun
- >6:28 p.m.
- >fuck, forgot a dress
- >man, I got really wrapped up in Twilight's campaign
- >run home and grab something out of my closet
- >only dress is one from prom as a freshman
- >dear lord it's hideous
- >mom says she'll lend me one of her prom dresses
- >thanks, mom, you're the best
- >it's meh, but it fits
- >get back to the school at 7:25
- >Bonnie is sitting at a table all by her lonesome just eating
- >pull up a chair and sit with her
- >"You're late, you know."
- >sorry, forgot a dress
- >"It's PROM, Sarah, how could you forget a dress?"
- >I blame Twilight
- >hey, I'm kinda hungry and they ran out of food, can I have a bite of that sandwich?
- >"Here, you can finish it."
- >haven't eaten since breakfast
- >take a bite
- >filled with mustard
- >of all things, mustard
- >why.jpg
- >"Hey, Norman is out on the dance floor just standing there, you should go dance with him or something."
- >Bonnie, have you ever seen me dance?
- >This is prom, just do it
- >fine, go to ask Norman if I can dance with him
- >he says yes
- >wedancin
- >tell him I don't think he's a bad guy at all
- >he says thanks, maybe we can hang out some time
- >I'd like that
- >as we're dancing, something magical happens
- >I look at Norman
- >He really is a handsome specimen. His features are so smooth with just a slight hint of rugged
- >his hair moves perfectly, almost like a horses mane
- >I stare into his eyes
- >oh his yes, they look so beautiful
- >Norman looks at me and smiles, looking a bit creeped out or something
- >I've fallen for this man, and I must him
- >right as I was going to confess to him what has just struck my heart, that white girl with the purple hair shows up out of fucking nowhere
- >asks to dance with him
- >he immediately obliges, leaving me alone on the dance floor
- >go sit back down with Bonnie
- >hereIsitallbrokenhearted
- >feel like crying
- >gotta stay positive, maybe I'll meet a handsome stallion in Equestria
- >oh what's the point, I still don't even know if it's real
- >I could eat mustard right now
- >the dances end, someone comes up to announce who is prom king and queen
- >my sadness quickly turns to anticipation
- >oh yeah, this is what I've been doing for 4 weeks now
- >"The prom king for the year of 2013 is...Brad [Redacted]!!"
- >did anyone know he was even running? whatever, now the moment of truth
- >And prom queen for the year of 2013 is...
- >Twilight Sparkle!
- >She comes up to accept the crown
- >Brad loudly exclaims "hey, Twily got an award too!"
- >Twilight is about to accept the crown
- >Sunset Shimmer snatches the crown
- >top cunt, eh?
- >she flips shit, bitching and whining about how this was her senior year and she was supposed to get prom queen all 4 years, not some ditzy cunt who blabs about horses and her racist friends
- >I'vefuckinghadenough.jpg
- >call Shimmybitch out for the bitch she is
- >and who even voted for you? No one actually seems to like you, you're just a huge cunt to everyone
- >"I still was prom queen all those years, you retarded horsefucker, I think the people voted for me
- >"We didn't vote for you!"
- >the rainbow girl from tennis was shouting from her table
- >with her was her yellow friend, orange girl, pink girl, and the white girl Norman liked
- >soon, other people started agreeing, claiming they never voted for Sunset Shimmer
- >some people say they voted for years ago, but just that once
- >everyone says they didn't vote for Sunset this year
- >"FINE! I actually won prom queen 3 years ago, but I rigged the ballots after that, are you fucking happy?!"
- >collective gasp
- >"I've been stuck here way too damn long, that crown is supposed to be my ticket out of here, finally back to Equestria."
- >holy shit, more horseppl
- >Twilight also seems pretty shocked
- >"You're from Equestria?" Twilight asks
- >"Yes, you idiot. I was Celestia's #1 student. I was the best. In fact, I was as good as Celestia. She thought I needed a lesson, dumb bitch. She sent me here. She said I was done with my lesson when I could come back worthy of being a princess.
- >"That crown is how I'm supposed to get the hell out of here.
- >"But every year, it never works. I thought maybe getting the crown all 4 years would work."
- >"Well now it's time to put that to the test!"
- >Sunset puts the crown on, acting all evil and shit
- >nothing happens
- >"FUCK!"
- >Twilight tells Sunset a crown is not what being a princess is about
- >she says a princess must be pure of heart, full of friendship, something like that
- >Twilight puts the crown on
- >All hell breaks loose
- >rumbling, sparks flying, tables overturning
- >suddenly all is quiet
- >Twilight grows these huge, hideous wings
- >a a portal opens up
- >ohhhhhh shoot
- >this is it
- >this is the horse world
- >look around for Bonnie
- >Bonnie's standing there, shocked
- >This is the Equestria Twilight's been talking about. Come with me, Bonnie
- >"How do you know if we'll be ok?"
- >realize I don't know
- >well fuck
- >uhhh...we'll be together? bff's?
- >Bonnie agrees
- >yes
- >Before we leave, Norman comes up on stage >says he's coming too
- >white girl yells at Norman asking what does he think he's doing
- >Norman says he's tired of this school
- >I don't blame him
- >if she wants, she can come too
- >white girl calls him a crazy racist
- >>racist
- >>white girl
- >wat
- >Me, Twilight, Bonnie, and Norman going to Equestria
- >Sunset Shimmer tackles us into the portal
- >"Oh no you don't!"
- >we dust ourselves off
- >we look up
- >the world looks much more colorful
- >mountains, puffy clouds, flowers
- >looks kind of cartoony
- >a big white horse with shimmering hair approaches us
- >"I see you've made it back with some friends, Twilight.
- >"Hello there, my name is Princess Celestia. Welcome to Equestria."
- >HOLY SHIT YES
- >YES
- >FUCK YES
- >IT'S EQUESTRIA
- >look around at everyone
- >Twilight is now a pony, still has those freakish wings
- >those really don't suit her
- >Twilight gets teary eyed saying she'll miss Brad
- >of all people
- >fucking Brad
- >big white horse with a face like Brad's comes up to Twilight
- >"TWILY"
- >Twilight suddenly becomes happy again
- >"Brother! :D"
- >mfw
- >realize we're all ponies now
- >I can die happy now
- >we all seem to have marks on out butt now
- >Twilight says those are called cutie marks, they show what your talent is
- >mine's a lyre
- >I'll roll with it
- >see Norman is now a pony
- >he's a handsome as fuck stallion
- >ohyes
- >see something very large between his legs dangling to and fro
- >oh wow, is that what I think it is
- >a massive, glorious stallion cock
- >I'll see him about that later
- >Bonnie asks how long we're going to be here
- >I don't know
- >but might as well enjoy ourselves now
- >me and Bonnie head to a local restaurant in a town nearby called Ponyville
- >classy waiter comes up
- >order a daffodil and daisy sandwich, no toppings
- >get it soon after
- >I wonder how this will taste since I'm a horse now
- >look at the sandwich
- >wait
- >something is horribly, horribly wrong
- >sandwich has mustard in it
- >I'm sorry, I said no mustard
- >waiter looks at me, smiles
- >But Sarah, you need your MUSTARD
- >wait turns into a big, insectoid horse creature
- >army of smaller horse insects out of nowhere
- >hold me down
- >force feeding me mustard
- >everything is melting around me
- >I wake up
- >it was all a dream
- >fucking mustard
- END.
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