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| 1 | Rule 1: You don't lose to No Guard + OHKO. | |
| 2 | Rule 2: You DON'T lose to No Guard + OHKO. | |
| 3 | Rule 3: We are Hackmons. | |
| 4 | Rule 4: We are god-tier. | |
| 5 | Rule 5: We do not let you live, we do not let you win. | |
| 6 | Rule 6: Showdown is not your personal army. | |
| 7 | Rule 7: No matter how much you love debating about sets, keep in mind that nobody in Hackmons debates. Instead, they will mock your sets relentlessly. | |
| 8 | Rule 8: Hackmons can be a horrible, senseless, uncaring monster. | |
| 9 | Rule 9: Hackmons is still able to be fun. | |
| 10 | Rule 10: There are no real rules about teams | |
| 11 | Rule 11: There are no real rules about normal bans either - enjoy your swagplay | |
| 12 | Rule 12: Anything you use can and will be turned against you. | |
| 13 | Rule 13: Anything you use can be turned into something else. | |
| 14 | Rule 14: Do not complain about Endless Battles, that just means the user wins. | |
| 15 | Rule 15: The harder you try, the harder you will fail. | |
| 16 | Rule 16: If your team sucks in epic proportions, it may just become the new metagame. | |
| 17 | Rule 17: Every team loses eventually. | |
| 18 | Rule 18: Everything that can be put on a team can be hated. | |
| 19 | Rule 19: The more you hate it, the more people will use it. | |
| 20 | Rule 20: Nothing is to be taken seriously. Even tournaments or spin-offs. | |
| 21 | Rule 21: Logs, or it never happened. | |
| 22 | Rule 22: Original sets are original for a few seconds before they get overused. | |
| 23 | Rule 23: RMTs are made to ruin every last bit of originality. | |
| 24 | Rule 24: RMTs are made to ruin every last bit of originality. | |
| 25 | Rule 25: Every team is a remake of a remake. | |
| 26 | Rule 26: Relation to the original team decreases with every single change made to it. | |
| 27 | Rule 27: Everything that can be used can be abused. | |
| 28 | Rule 28: All of your carefully picked sweepers/walls can easily be stopped. | |
| 29 | Rule 29: In Hackmons all Pokemon are broken and all not-broken Pokemon are undercover sweepers. | |
| 30 | Rule 30: Noobs do not exist in Hackmons. | |
| 31 | Rule 31: You must have replays to prove your statements. | |
| 32 | Rule 32: Play more, it's never enough. | |
| 33 | Rule 33: HAX or GTFO - the choice is yours. | |
| 34 | Rule 34: There is a Wonder Guard set for it. No exceptions. | |
| 35 | Rule 35: If there is no Wonder Guard set for it, a Wonder Guard set for it will be made. | |
| 36 | Rule 36: No matter what it is, it's somebody's main Pokemon. | |
| 37 | Rule 37: No matter how messed up it is, there is always crazier teams than what you just saw. | |
| 38 | Rule 38: No real limits of any kind apply here - except for levels and moves. You want Custom Game to break those limits. | |
| 39 | Rule 39: WONDER GUARD IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL | |
| 40 | Rule 40: EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER | |
| 41 | Rule 41: Magikarp and Sunkern are not funny. Seriously guys, they don't even win half the time. | |
| 42 | Rule 42: Nothing is Perfect. | |
| 43 | Rule 43: The more perfect and unbeatable a thing is - the more satisfying it is to Imposter it. | |
| 44 | Rule 44: If it exists, there is a version of it in your imagination. Said thing also has a team dedicated around it and its own theme song. | |
| 45 | Rule 45: If a Pokemon is not used, it will be. | |
| 46 | Rule 46: Hackmons is SERIOUS BUSINESS. | |
| 47 | Rule 47: The only good sets are unoriginal, that's how Hackmons works. The only known exception is manu 11's 0-WG team. | |
| 48 | Rule 48: The lake is always of rage. | |
| 49 | Rule 49: You cannot have an X-0 W/L ratio. You cannot divide by 0. | |
| 50 | Rule 50: A team, no matter how terrible, will eventually come into existence. | |
| 51 | Rule 51: RMTs are made to ruin every last bit of originality. | |
| 52 | Rule 52: Sturdy + Shedinja is a thing. Stop not preparing for it. | |
| 53 | Rule 53: That Sturdy Shedinja you see before you is actually Magic Guard + Focus Sash. | |
| 54 | Rule 54: If you see a team composing only of joke-mons, you're probably going to lose to it. | |
| 55 | Rule 55: You will never know your opponent's sets until you Imposter them. | |
| 56 | Rule 56: Deoxys-Attack is outclassed by Mega-Mewtwo-X in every way as a Physical attacker. The only exception to this is manu 11's Deoxys-Attack, because it's manu 11's. | |
| 57 | Rule 57: manu 11 jokes never get old. | |
| 58 | Rule 58: Upon insulting manu 11 you will get swiftly destroyed by a Surskit. There is no escaping this, and it will happen. | |
| 59 | Rule 59: If you're still reading these rules, you have way too much free time. | |
| 60 | Rule 60: Shedinja will die eventually to some surprise tactics. There is no escape from this. | |
| 61 | Rule 61: RMTs are made to ruin every last bit of originality. | |
| 62 | Rule 62: It has been copied and pasted. You can find any team in Hackmons if you look long enough. | |
| 63 | Rule 63: For every given Pokemon, said Pokemon is ran the opposite way that it was intended to. And yes, there is a Wonder Guard set for that. | |
| 64 | Rule 64: Pikachuun is probably a nub. You'll beat him most likely, so go ahead and let your guard down ;^) | |
| 65 | Rule 65: Regi's troll teams never win. It's a proven fact. | |
| 66 | Rule 66: There is always one exception. | |
| 67 | Rule 67: Mewtwo is invaluble. Until you find a team that does well without it. | |
| 68 | - | Rule 68: Once you beat said team, you will never use Mewtwo again. |
| 68 | + | Rule 68: Once you lose to said team, you will never use Mewtwo again. |
| 69 | Rule 69: As soon as you see a mono-bellsprout team, the world is over. |
