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itlives

How to get the Shooting Star to hit an enemy

itlives
Jan 19th, 2014
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  1. itlives: OH
  2.  
  3. itlives: MICH
  4.  
  5. itlives: you wanna know how to get the Shooting Star to hit your enemies every time?
  6.  
  7. itlives: now, first off, you must be level 47 or higher or this wont work
  8.  
  9. Venerated_Reaper: um
  10.  
  11. itlives: or just get it from a box
  12.  
  13. Venerated_Reaper: k
  14.  
  15. itlives: ok, now here is what you need:
  16.  
  17. itlives: a CD, a fork, Mayonnaise, a cardboard box, a green waffle, a guitar string, 71 pennies, and a slipper
  18.  
  19. Venerated_Reaper: What kind of green waffle...?
  20.  
  21. itlives: spoiled food green waffle
  22.  
  23. itlives: sick whore
  24.  
  25. Venerated_Reaper: >.>
  26.  
  27. itlives: now, here is what you must do:
  28.  
  29. itlives: take the fork and pierce it through the waffle. then, put the mayo in the holes. next, slap the CD with the guitar string and call is a slut. after that, throw the slipper at Wyatt. then, finally, place 69 pennies in the box, and bury the other pennies in your back yard
  30.  
  31. Venerated_Reaper: WAIT
  32.  
  33. Venerated_Reaper: WAIT
  34.  
  35. Venerated_Reaper: WAIT
  36.  
  37. Venerated_Reaper: WAIT
  38.  
  39. Venerated_Reaper: WAIT
  40.  
  41. itlives: wut
  42.  
  43. Venerated_Reaper: Do I take the fork out?
  44.  
  45. itlives: no
  46.  
  47. itlives: god no
  48.  
  49. Venerated_Reaper: Omg.
  50.  
  51. Venerated_Reaper: I'm sorry.
  52.  
  53. Venerated_Reaper: WHAT DO I DO?
  54.  
  55. itlives: WUT DO YOU MEAN!?
  56.  
  57. Venerated_Reaper: I TOOK IT OUT
  58.  
  59. Venerated_Reaper: TO PUT THE MAYO IN THE HOLES
  60.  
  61. itlives: ...
  62.  
  63. itlives: you ****ed already only two steps in?
  64.  
  65. Venerated_Reaper: I'm sorry. :c
  66.  
  67. itlives: ok
  68.  
  69. itlives: throw away the fork and the waffle
  70.  
  71. itlives: BUT
  72.  
  73. itlives: before you do that
  74.  
  75. Venerated_Reaper: Too late.
  76.  
  77. itlives: you must flip Wyatt off--
  78.  
  79. itlives: fkr
  80.  
  81. Venerated_Reaper: I'M SORRY
  82.  
  83. itlives: at least just flip Wyatt off...
  84.  
  85. Venerated_Reaper: Okay.
  86.  
  87. Venerated_Reaper: Done.
  88.  
  89. itlives: ok
  90.  
  91. Venerated_Reaper: I gave him the bird.
  92.  
  93. itlives: get another green waffle and another fork
  94.  
  95. itlives: and then retry everything again
  96.  
  97. itlives: tell me when you are done
  98.  
  99. Venerated_Reaper: But Amazon doesn't sell green waffles.
  100.  
  101. itlives: DONT BUY ONE OFF OF AMAZON
  102.  
  103. Venerated_Reaper: I'M SORRY
  104.  
  105. itlives: THE GOVERNMENT WILL KNOW ABOUT THIS
  106.  
  107. Venerated_Reaper: **** THE GOVERNMENT
  108.  
  109. itlives: **** STARFISH
  110.  
  111. itlives: anyway, just get a waffle and lay it in the sun for about an hour
  112.  
  113. itlives: it will turn green soon enough
  114.  
  115. Venerated_Reaper: ok
  116.  
  117. Venerated_Reaper: now we wait
  118.  
  119. itlives: or
  120.  
  121. itlives: you can jack it off
  122.  
  123. itlives: remember the other how to?
  124.  
  125. Venerated_Reaper: How do I jack off a waffle?
  126.  
  127. itlives: finger it
  128.  
  129. Venerated_Reaper: Do I put it on my penis?
  130.  
  131. Venerated_Reaper: Oh okay.
  132.  
  133. itlives: it will turn green much faster
  134.  
  135. Venerated_Reaper: Done.
  136.  
  137. Venerated_Reaper: It's green.
  138.  
  139. itlives: ok
  140.  
  141. itlives: now retry it all
  142.  
  143. Venerated_Reaper: k
  144.  
  145. itlives: lemme know when you buried the pennies
  146.  
  147. Venerated_Reaper: But
  148.  
  149. Venerated_Reaper: How do I put the mayo in the holes without taking out the fork?
  150.  
  151. itlives: just throw the mayo jar on it
  152.  
  153. Venerated_Reaper: k
  154.  
  155. itlives: Im very sure at least one particle will land in the hole
  156.  
  157. Venerated_Reaper: Now the CD is mad at me. :c
  158.  
  159. itlives: oh my god...
  160.  
  161. itlives: this is bad
  162.  
  163. itlives: wut CD is it?
  164.  
  165. Venerated_Reaper: Um.
  166.  
  167. Venerated_Reaper: It's blank.
  168.  
  169. itlives: NU
  170.  
  171. itlives: GET PAJAMA SAM
  172.  
  173. Venerated_Reaper: I'M SORRY
  174.  
  175. Venerated_Reaper: OKAY
  176.  
  177. Venerated_Reaper: Can I buy it off of Amazon?
  178.  
  179. itlives: um
  180.  
  181. itlives: use a proxy
  182.  
  183. Venerated_Reaper: Fine.
  184.  
  185. Venerated_Reaper: Done, I got it.
  186.  
  187. itlives: now
  188.  
  189. itlives: do
  190.  
  191. itlives: it
  192.  
  193. itlives: all
  194.  
  195. Venerated_Reaper: Do I have to start over?
  196.  
  197. itlives: YUS
  198.  
  199. Venerated_Reaper: GODDAMMIT
  200.  
  201. Venerated_Reaper: People stare at me when I finger waffles. :c
  202.  
  203. itlives: are they starfish or pancakes?
  204.  
  205. Venerated_Reaper: Pancakes.
  206.  
  207. itlives: they're just jealous
  208.  
  209. itlives: keep doing it
  210.  
  211. Venerated_Reaper: K.
  212.  
  213. Venerated_Reaper: NO
  214.  
  215. Venerated_Reaper: WYATT DUCKED THE SLIPPER
  216.  
  217. itlives: ofauk
  218.  
  219. itlives: LIDH87ASD FIUSD YAG YDSG
  220.  
  221. itlives: IMPOSSIBRU
  222.  
  223. itlives: HE IS TOO STUPID TO KNOW THAT WOMEN CAN ORGASM
  224.  
  225. itlives: ok
  226.  
  227. itlives: hang on
  228.  
  229. itlives: did you call the guitar string the slut or the CD the slut?
  230.  
  231. Venerated_Reaper: CD.
  232.  
  233. itlives: ok...
  234.  
  235. Venerated_Reaper: That's why it was mad.
  236.  
  237. itlives: wut kind of slipper is it?
  238.  
  239. Venerated_Reaper: The one from Cinderella.
  240.  
  241. itlives: ok, you did good there
  242.  
  243. itlives: adslk;fjhdsag h WAIT
  244.  
  245. Venerated_Reaper: I'M SORRY
  246.  
  247. itlives: THE CINDERELLA SLIPPER IS TOO GLASS
  248.  
  249. Venerated_Reaper: ****
  250.  
  251. itlives: SHATTER IT FIRST
  252.  
  253. Venerated_Reaper: Then throw the fragments at him?
  254.  
  255. itlives: yup
  256.  
  257. itlives: luckily you dont have to restart it all
  258.  
  259. itlives: just retry it. if he dodges this then you ****ed up somewhere
  260.  
  261. Venerated_Reaper: Where do I restart?
  262.  
  263. itlives: just rethrow the shattered slipper at him
  264.  
  265. Venerated_Reaper: Now he's bleeding.
  266.  
  267. Venerated_Reaper: And crying.
  268.  
  269. Venerated_Reaper: And peeing.
  270.  
  271. itlives: perfect
  272.  
  273. Venerated_Reaper: Lots of moisture.
  274.  
  275. Venerated_Reaper: K.
  276.  
  277. Venerated_Reaper: Buried pennies.
  278.  
  279. Venerated_Reaper: But I have an extra one...
  280.  
  281. itlives: ok
  282.  
  283. itlives: dlsjkfhis gskoud g
  284.  
  285. itlives: WUT
  286.  
  287. Venerated_Reaper: IDK
  288.  
  289. itlives: ok...
  290.  
  291. itlives: dont panic...
  292.  
  293. itlives: but the government might have tracked you down...
  294.  
  295. Venerated_Reaper: ...
  296.  
  297. Venerated_Reaper: Shit.
  298.  
  299. itlives: tell me
  300.  
  301. itlives: wut box did you use?
  302.  
  303. Venerated_Reaper: Um.
  304.  
  305. Venerated_Reaper: FedEx
  306.  
  307. itlives: well ****
  308.  
  309. itlives: that is one of two problems
  310.  
  311. itlives: second problem: where did you find the pennies?
  312.  
  313. Venerated_Reaper: My mommy's purse.
  314.  
  315. itlives: no mother ****er
  316.  
  317. itlives: you must find them on the floor of an amusement park
  318.  
  319. Venerated_Reaper: I'M SORRY
  320.  
  321. itlives: all 71 of them
  322.  
  323. Venerated_Reaper: HOW?
  324.  
  325. itlives: GO TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK
  326.  
  327. Venerated_Reaper: THERE'S NOT ONE WHERE I LIVE
  328.  
  329. itlives: THATS WHAT THE GOVERNMENT WANTS YOU TO THINK
  330.  
  331. Venerated_Reaper: OMG
  332.  
  333. Venerated_Reaper: IS IT A SECRET AMUSEMENT PARK?
  334.  
  335. itlives: YUS
  336.  
  337. itlives: FULL OF PENNIES
  338.  
  339. Venerated_Reaper: OMG
  340.  
  341. Venerated_Reaper: WHERE?
  342.  
  343. itlives: I CANNOT RELEASE THAT INFO
  344.  
  345. itlives: THE GOVERNMENT WILL GET WISE
  346.  
  347. itlives: AND THEY WILL SHUT IT DOWN
  348.  
  349. Venerated_Reaper: BUT HOW OD I FIND IT?
  350.  
  351. Venerated_Reaper: SHIT
  352.  
  353. itlives: LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOW
  354.  
  355. itlives: ITS LIKE 30 FEET AWAY FROM YOU
  356.  
  357. Venerated_Reaper: What direction?
  358.  
  359. itlives: um
  360.  
  361. itlives: south
  362.  
  363. Venerated_Reaper: Okay.
  364.  
  365. Venerated_Reaper: I dun see it. :c
  366.  
  367. itlives: are you looking down or forward?
  368.  
  369. Venerated_Reaper: Forward.
  370.  
  371. itlives: look down
  372.  
  373. Venerated_Reaper: K.
  374.  
  375. Venerated_Reaper: Still don't see it. :c
  376.  
  377. itlives: get an erection
  378.  
  379. Venerated_Reaper: ...
  380.  
  381. Venerated_Reaper: How do I?
  382.  
  383. itlives: masturbate
  384.  
  385. Venerated_Reaper: Fine.
  386.  
  387. Venerated_Reaper: OMG
  388.  
  389. Venerated_Reaper: I SEE IT NOW
  390.  
  391. itlives: YUS
  392.  
  393. itlives: GET THE PENNIES
  394.  
  395. itlives: and retry it all
  396.  
  397. Venerated_Reaper: ****
  398.  
  399. Venerated_Reaper: ALL OF IT?
  400.  
  401. itlives: YUS
  402.  
  403. itlives: THE GOVERNMENT ****ED IT UP
  404.  
  405. itlives: YOU HAVE TO REDO IT ALL
  406.  
  407. itlives: SO THE GOVERNMENT DONT GET WISE
  408.  
  409. Venerated_Reaper: COME ON
  410.  
  411. Venerated_Reaper: But Wyatt's in the ER, now.
  412.  
  413. Venerated_Reaper: I can't get to him.
  414.  
  415. itlives: throw the slipper fragments at the hospital
  416.  
  417. Venerated_Reaper: Okay.
  418.  
  419. Venerated_Reaper: Done.
  420.  
  421. itlives: now
  422.  
  423. itlives: did you do it all?
  424.  
  425. Venerated_Reaper: Yes.
  426.  
  427. Venerated_Reaper: Pennies buried.
  428.  
  429. itlives: good
  430.  
  431. itlives: now
  432.  
  433. itlives: go to ShellShock Live 2
  434.  
  435. Venerated_Reaper: Wait, what?
  436.  
  437. itlives: and get a Shooting Star from a box
  438.  
  439. itlives: then shoot it at someone
  440.  
  441. Venerated_Reaper: OMG
  442.  
  443. Venerated_Reaper: IT HIT THEM
  444.  
  445. itlives: EXACTLY
  446.  
  447. itlives: you are welcome
  448.  
  449. Venerated_Reaper: I PRAISE YOU
  450.  
  451. itlives: I AM NOT ALLAH
  452.  
  453. itlives: but thanks
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