Shiny and his hand

1.ShinyPorygon5: i have had sex before retard
2.ShinyPorygon5: that’s one pic in mysanity’s avatar
3.ShinyPorygon5: i have lel
4.ShinyPorygon5: i ****ed her hard
5.ShinyPorygon5: lelelel
6.ShinyPorygon5: After a night at the school dance of hardcore dancing
7.ShinyPorygon5: she smiled and said
8.ShinyPorygon5: “Want to come back to my place tonight?”
9.ShinyPorygon5: then i said
10.ShinyPorygon5: “Sure, just let me call my parents to make sure it’s alright.”
11.ShinyPorygon5: 5 mins later
12.ShinyPorygon5: “They said it was fine.”
13.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Okay! Let’s head back!
14.ShinyPorygon5: Here’s what happened next
15.ShinyPorygon5: When we got back to her house
16.ShinyPorygon5: “So, why don’t I show you my room?”
17.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Sure, ok.
18.ShinyPorygon5: then we walk up there
19.michaelan: This sounds like porn.
20.ShinyPorygon5: Her: So, do you like it?
21.michaelan: Like serious porn.
22.ShinyPorygon5: Me: I guess it’s ok.
23.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Alright. sits on bed
24.itlives: WAIT
25.itlives: HANG ON
26.itlives: gets the lube ok, go
27.ShinyPorygon5: Me: So, what were you planning on doing once we got here?
28.michaelan: Her: WE’RE GONNA **** LEL
29.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Oh, just playing a little game.
30.michaelan: Seriously, this is porn.
31.itlives: yup
32.itlives: thats why I have my lube
33.ShinyPorygon5: Me: What’s it called?
34.itlives: Her: ITS CALLED ****ING!
35.ShinyPorygon5: Her: I just made it up. I haven’t made a name.
36.ShinyPorygon5: Me: So, how do we play?
37.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Well, come over here next to me.
38.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Alright…
39.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Okay, place your hand right here.
40.michaelan: Wow.
41.michaelan: This totally isn’t porn.
42.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Where?
43.michaelan: PLACE YOUR HAND HERE?
44.michaelan: Her: Right on my boob
45.michaelan: Shiny: What’s a boob?
46.ShinyPorygon5: Her: A bird
47.ShinyPorygon5: jk
48.itlives: that seems accurate
49.ShinyPorygon5: Anyways
50.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Right here, and start moving your hand up and down gently.
51.michaelan: …
52.itlives: …
53.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Um, ok.
54.michaelan: How is this not porn?
55.itlives: if you didnt get it by now, you are…
56.michaelan: Like, seriously…
57.itlives: ARE YOU RETARDED
58.ShinyPorygon5: rubs gently
59.itlives: ARE YOU ****ING STUPID!?
60.michaelan: I bet Shiny had no idea what was going on.
61.ShinyPorygon5: Me: So, what now?
62.itlives: mich, you were right xD
63.michaelan: ShinyPorygon5: Me: So, what now?ShinyPorygon5: Me: So, what now?ShinyPorygon5: Me: So, what now?ShinyPorygon5: Me: So, what now?
64.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Wait, why are you taking off your-
65.itlives: you are retarded
66.itlives: you are seriously retarded
67.itlives: why are you even alive?
68.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Is this part of the…
69.michaelan: how were you even born?
70.itlives: broken condom
71.itlives: abortion area closed down
72.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Um, could you uh, not zip down my fly?
73.itlives: was forced to keep
74.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Wait, wait, not my boxers!
75.ShinyPorygon5: No!
76.itlives: you… are you gay?
77.ShinyPorygon5: Me: What are you…
78.michaelan: Her: I’m ****ing you, you stupid retard.
79.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Ohhh, wow.
80.ShinyPorygon5: Me: That, actually feels kind of good.
81.ShinyPorygon5: Me: That feels really good.
82.michaelan: He seriously had no idea what was going on…
83.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Holy crap, this is amazing.
84.ShinyPorygon5: Her: It is, isn’t it.
85.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Now **** me.
86.ShinyPorygon5: Me: What?
87.itlives: you… didnt know what to do…
88.ShinyPorygon5: Her: I said, **** me.
89.itlives: can you kill yourself tonight?
90.michaelan: Shiny: What’s that?
91.ShinyPorygon5: Me: **** you?
92.michaelan: Shiny: What’s ****?
93.itlives: you know
94.itlives: **** is what you say when you are mad
95.ShinyPorygon5: Me: That’s a bit profane, don’t you think?
96.itlives: Shiny: so, you are mad at me? ok.
97.ShinyPorygon5: Her: sigh Here, I’ll help.
98.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Nah, I’m just kidding.
99.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Wait, so-UNH
100.michaelan: Shiny: I’ll jam my stick in your hole.
101.michaelan: Shiny: Goes find a stick outisde
102.michaelan: Shiny: DIG ME A HOLE
103.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Oh, you’ve had some experience. ;)
104.itlives: 10 years of masturbation is shiny’s experience
105.ShinyPorygon5: Her: This is what I mean.
106.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Right there, OHHH
107.itlives: this is some nice porn
108.ShinyPorygon5: her father walks in
109.michaelan: Dude…
110.michaelan: You should be a pornographer…
111.michaelan: Oshit.
112.michaelan: Bi porn, now?
113.ShinyPorygon5: Her dad: I’m home..
114.ShinyPorygon5: Her dad: What are you doing to my daughter!?
115.michaelan: Shiny: I DON’T EVEN KNOW
116.itlives: Im pretty sure the dad would have went nuts instead of being like “oh… what.. is this? kinda hot”
117.ShinyPorygon5: Her dad: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE
118.michaelan: Shiny: I CAN’T STOP
119.itlives: NO
120.michaelan: Shiny: WHAT IS THIS?
121.ShinyPorygon5: Her dad: grabs gun
122.itlives: SO
123.itlives: MUCH
124.itlives: WHITE
125.itlives: PAINT
126.itlives: WHY IS THERE PAINT IN MY DICK
127.itlives: I THOUGHT THAT WAS ONLY FOR PEE
128.itlives: WHAT THE ****!?
129.michaelan: Shiny: I’M GONNA BE RICH
130.michaelan: Shiny: I CAN SELL MY WHITE PAINT
131.ShinyPorygon5: Her dad: Nah, just kidding. Have fun you two.
132.michaelan: …
133.ShinyPorygon5: walks out
134.michaelan: What is wrong with her dad?
135.michaelan: NO wonder she’s a slut.
136.ShinyPorygon5: well he knew me
137.michaelan: Normal Dad: Sees daughter having sex
138.michaelan: Normal Dad: Have fun! :D
139.ShinyPorygon5: Her: I brought a toy.
140.itlives: damn, your hand is talented
141.michaelan: …
142.michaelan: A toy?
143.michaelan: No sane chick keeps sex toys.
144.michaelan: This just has to be porn.
145.ShinyPorygon5: Her: It’s for your birthday.
146.itlives: YOU MUST HAVE NO DICK, SO SHE HAS A DILDO FOR THAT
147.michaelan: SHINY IS A GIRL
148.michaelan: THEY’RE SHARING A DILDO
149.itlives: HOLYSHIT
150.itlives: HOLYSHIT
151.itlives: BEST
152.itlives: PORN
153.itlives: EVER
154.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Sorry I wasn’t able to bring it to you, I had soccer practice that day.
155.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Oh, okay, thanks.
156.itlives: To ShinyPorygon5: is this all real? ShinyPorygon5: Hell, no. xD (reply)
157.michaelan: Wait..
158.michaelan: Did she think it’s soccer?
159.michaelan: And it was really just kicking a rock?
160.ShinyPorygon5: Her: now **** me
161.michaelan: Did she explain what sex was to you wrong?
162.michaelan: Were you really like coloring paper?
163.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Not unless you use perfect grammar.
164.ShinyPorygon5: Her: sigh
165.ShinyPorygon5: Me: What?
166.itlives: this is a good imagination shiny has
167.itlives: he should put it into an EE level
168.ShinyPorygon5: Her: I haven’t had sex in a while, so, I’m just happy to have it again.
169.itlives: havent had sex… in a while?
170.michaelan: Had sex at least twice?
171.itlives: SLUT
172.itlives: ****ING SLUT
173.itlives: HOLY SHIT
174.itlives: WHAT THE ****
175.itlives: I WOULD HAVE STOPPED RIGHT THERE
176.itlives: ****ING STD RIDDLED SKANK
177.ShinyPorygon5: Me: I keep hearing morons repeat slang terms for fecal matter outside
178.michaelan: Shiny.
179.michaelan: YOu now have like every STD.
180.itlives: how?
181.itlives: he doesnt have a dick
182.itlives: she had to use a dildo
183.ShinyPorygon5: Her: I have AIDS.
184.itlives: so… how can he have an STD?
185.michaelan: Idiot.
186.michaelan: The disease was on the dildo.
187.michaelan: They shared the same side.
188.ShinyPorygon5: Me: And, I have a condom. BOOM I WIN
189.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Go to hell.
190.michaelan: You don’t **** someone with AIDS…
191.ShinyPorygon5: Her: But, **** me first.
192.itlives: this… this no longer makes sense
193.ShinyPorygon5: Me: hell no
194.itlives: this story doesnt even make sense
195.itlives: get to **** her
196.itlives: I have aids
197.itlives: **** her
198.itlives: use a dildo
199.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Anal?
200.ShinyPorygon5: Me: O_O I’m getting the hell out of here…
201.michaelan: Chicks hate anal, bro.
202.michaelan: It’s like taking a massive shit.
203.michaelan: How does that feel good?
204.itlives: mich
205.itlives: she is a slut
206.ShinyPorygon5: Her: I’m a man.
207.michaelan: Shiny.
208.ShinyPorygon5: wut
209.michaelan: Definetely be a pornographer.
210.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Look, I know you don’t have an STD and aren’t a man.
211.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Yeah, I know.
212.ShinyPorygon5: Her: Let’s just stfu and have sex.
213.ShinyPorygon5: Me: FINALLY.
214.itlives: ok
215.itlives: Im done with my lube
216.ShinyPorygon5: this is how it went in a nutshell
217.ShinyPorygon5: Her: OHHH, YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CUM
218.ShinyPorygon5: Me: Wait wut
219.itlives: Shiny: wut is cum?