>"Hey there anon!"
>You were just walking to pick something up from Pinkie Pie when that voice came out of nowhere
>That goddamn adorable voice that just destroys your heart with a single crack
>You turn around
He-
>"What's up, anon, brother?"
>Of course
>It was Dash's new boyfriend
>She and that teal colored son of a bitch hadn't been separated since they hooked up at a bar a couple weeks ago
>You give Dash a smile and turn to your opponent
>Yeah, he lifted
>You can feel the anger coursing through your body as you move closer, his hoof extended to offer you an infamously firm hoofshake
>Dash is looking at you expectantly, like she wants you to return his enthusiasm
>His goddamn obnoxious fucking enthusiasm that could make your mood do a complete 180 in a single second
>And not in the good way
"Hey."
>You meet his hoof with your hand and a question arises that you had every time you offered somepony a hoofshake
>"How the fuck do they work?"
>I mean, it's like a pony picking up something without it being balanced on the bottom of their hoof, how would they eve-
>"Bro your grip is weak today, what happened to old strongarms last time!"
>Shit, you weren't focusing
>You let your hand drop to your side
"Heh.. Guess I'm just not feeling it today."
>I fucking wonder why I'm not feeling it, you cocky son of a bitch
>"Hawhawhaw! You're a funny little dude!"
>He puts his arm around your shoulder and begins to walk forward with you
>He was one of the only colts big enough to put his arm around your shoulder, rather than lower
>You grit your teeth as he begins talking in a low voice
>"So uh little buddy.."
>He sees Rainbow Dash following with a slight smile on her face
>"Uh hey RD, you mind giving my bro here and I a little time to talk about something? Just gotta tell him a story about what he missed out on at the gym when he ditched us last weekend!"
>"Oh! Uh yeah, sure! I'll just be waiting here..!"
>You could detect a little bit of sadness in her voice, you see her turn away out of the corner of your eye
>You fucking made Dashie sad.
>You fucking cunt.
"So uh I haven't told anyone this yet, it's not personal but I'm gonna be gone all of next week and I need someone to keep Dashie entertained while I'm gone.. Not that I'm afraid she'll go to someone else if she gets bored!"
>"Hm?" You think to yourself
>What was that? Insecurity? Is that why he hasn't told anyone else this? So they don't pounce on her while she's free from his literal grip for a week?
"Uh.."
>"I really need this bro, whenever she's not with me she gets sad and you've known her longer than I have, you know what to do to make her happy, right?"
>Oh fuck. Is this it?
>Is this your chance to get in on a little Dashie action?
>Is this your chance to taste the Rainbow?
"Uhhhh sure, I can do that for you, uhh.."
>You don't even know his goddamned name. If you went up to her house on a cloud in the middle of the night, you'd probably hear it endlessly though
>Too bad it's not your name she's gonna be screaming, motherfucker
>"Uh is that a yes? You don't sound quite into it.."
>You fucking forgot to focus again. Oh well, at least he's to dense to realize you didn't know his name.
>You whisper as enthusiastically as you can
"Sorry, was thinking about something I've got to pick up from Pinkie Pie, but yeah, I'll do it!
>"Ahh sweet bro, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!"
>You smile, but it's a smile to yourself
>Hope your trip goes well asshole, just to make the crash even worse once you get back.
>A week has passed since then
>RD's boyfriend is gone, and it's time for you to get some Rainbow ass.
>Yes, but perhaps it would benefit you to be a little bit less absent min-
>KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
>"Anooooooooon? Hellooo?"
>Oh fuck, she's at the door
>She's probably been there a while while you day dreamed about her firm blue plot
>You walk as fast as you can to the door
>"Ohhh.. Nonny where are you.."
>You open the door and there she is, turned away and about to walk away
>With her perfect blue ass perfectly in sight
>Target acquired.
"Hey! Dash! I was uh,I was taking a shower!"
>She turns around quickly and smiles at you
>"Oh, getting ready for something, are you?" She gives you a quick wink and a teasing flick of her tail
>What..
>What the fuck?
>Never mind that, focus Anon, focus
"Heheh, yeah I guess so. So uh.. What made you want to make plans with me so suddenly?
>Her boyfriend had told you to keep your knowledge of him gone on the downlow, probably to stop every colt in the town who was crushing on her from knowing they might be able to get in on some Dashie action
>"Oh, you didn't hear? I thought that's what he was telling you the other day.. He's gone this week on some trip, being suuuper secretive about it..!"
>You pick up just a hint of sadness, but she seems happy an instant later
>"Even I don't know what he's doing, but maybe that's the point?"
"Dunno, Dashie, isn't it kind of bad for him to keep that from you though?"
>"Oh, don't be silly Anon! He'd tell me if he could! And if I get what you're hinting about him, he's the one who wanted us to go out and have some fun anyways!"
>Smart guy, telling her that. He just set her up with someone he thought wouldn't make a move. Dumb fucker.
"Hey, I'm not hinting anything! Anyways, shall we go?"
>"Go where? Did you already set something up?"
"Yes, ma'am, I'll show you, come with me!"
>"Heh. Isn't it bad to keep this from me?
>You look down at her and she gives you a quick smirk
>You're enjoying the walk to the destination Dashie trotting along at your side
>"So Anon, back in the human world.. Did ya ever have a girlfriend of your own?"
>The question came out of nowhere
>I suppose... He's on her mind all the time though, so I suppose it's not too much of a surprise
"Ahh yeah I had a few. Nothing memorable though."
>You look down at her and she's staring at you, expecting you to continue
>After a few seconds of awkward silence and staring, she interrupts
>"Well?"
"Well what?"
>"Aren't you going to tell me about them?"
"Like I said, they're nothing worth remembering."
>You had had a few girlfriends before, but for the most part, they were just for the pussy. You're not going to tell her that though, for obvious reasons.
>"Aww come on! It looks like it'll be a while to whatever you're taking me to!"
"It's nothing. Let's talk about you Dash, how're you and uhh, the boyfriend?"
>Her gaze returns forward
>"We're.. We're doing great! He's fun to be around and.."
>?
>Dash at a loss for words?
>"Um well sometimes he ignores me... Bahhh, ah what am I saying! I miss him and he misses me too!"
>He had just left earlier that day, there's no way he could've sent her a letter or something detailing how much he missed her.. Interesting.
>"A-anyways!"
>Shit, you were just being silent while she waited for a reaction
"Anyways?"
>She seems a little embarrassed
>"Where in Celestia's name are you taking me anyways?"
"It's a secret Dashie."
>She seems to blush a little bit, and mutters something under her breath to herself
>This girl needs someone to talk to
"Hey Dash?"
>There's a slight pause before she answers
>"..Yeah?"
"What's going on between you and him? You know who I mean."
>"I-it's nothing! It's just that I.. I.."
"Miss him? Dash that excuse isn't gonna fly here. Something's wrong and I can tell."
>She slows down just a little bit, and you slow down with her
>"Um..."
>She whispers under her breath, barely audible
>"Dammit.."
>You look at her thoughtfully and quietly, waiting for her to speak
>"Was it really that obvious?"
"Not really, but I'm a smart guy."
>She looks up at you and gives you a slight smile, before looking forward again, looking a little lower than last time
>"Well.. Don't tell anyone what I'm going to say, ok??"
"You got it, Dashie."
>She glances at you again
>"Well... Lately he's just been kind of ignoring me whenever we go to do something.. Like when I saw you last week and he was with me, it was like I didn't even exist!
"I noticed."
>"Sigh... Is that why you brought this up?"
"Just one of the instances I saw something wrong between you two."
>"..I see. But I don't get it! He was fine before, just a couple weeks ago.."
"Dash."
>She hesitates
>"What are you thinking?"
"Why did you two hook up in the first place?"
>She pauses completely and looks down even more
>"..."