Mr,

A Ztitch in Time
By:Owen Smith

It was a bright saturday morning, and 1D had their usual breakfast. As Niall took out the pancake mix, Harry exasperated, “We don’t have any eggs! How are we going to make breakfast?” The problem was clear, if One Direction didn’t get the proper nutrition, how could they possibly give a good show to their fans? Louis came up with an idea. “Why don’t we just go to the store and buy some?”, he explained. Liam said, “ Good idea, we can eat our breakfast in no time”. The group of boy toys hopped into their van, and drove off to the nearest grocery store. Little did they know, they were famous. At the grocery store, they were swamped by teenage girls and old men alike. It seemed to them that they would never get their eggs. But Louis, the true smarty-pants of the bunch suggested that they use their knowledge gained through the intense physical training in which they endured. It was simple, Niall and Liam had to make a scene with their beautiful voices, while Louis would throw the eggs to Harry. That’s how the plan basically would’ve happened; if it weren’t for one minor altercation. Louis had forgot about the 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000072 push-ups he did this morning! He threw the eggs in a slightly perturbed because of his slightly achy muscles, for he only did half of his workout. All was not lost, however, Harry, with his bionic legs, was able to dive for the eggs. The battle was won. One Direction could finally eat their delicious and nutritious breakfast. Little did they know that the day ahead of them would be an eventful one!

Louis and Liam were locked eye to eye. They had been playing the same ping-pong game for the past hour. It was the pure tension that allowed the words of truth to escape from Liam’s lips. “If I have to keep on staring at you, I.. I might go crazy with sexually oriented frustration!”. Louis wasn’t a doctor, not a medical one anyway, but he knew something was on Liam’s mind. Using his years of magic school training, he made the ping pong ball disappear in front of Liam’s eyes. “H-How’d you do that, Louis?”, Liam asked in a slightly heightened voice? “All that doesn’t matter right now, Liam”, Louis said in a calm manner, as he slipped a CD into the music player. The ambiance was growing ever more intoxicating for Liam. The music started to play, “ Babe, tomorrow’s so far away, there’s just something I have to say. If you think I could hide what I’m feeling inside, and walk away…” Louis grew ever more knowledgeable about his dominance over Liam, even though he wasn’t into that kinky shit like Zayn was.”... knowin’ I love you.” Louis forcibly grabbed Liam’s arm, and gave him a look of anxiousness, and lust. Tense at first, Liam eventually gave up to the everlasting strength of Louis’ charm. They collided, and for a moment, it felt like two worlds molded into one. Liam’s inner butterflies felt like smoldering embers, and Louis’ urges pushed forward, with the strength of a thousand lions. Their lips touched for the first of what seemed to be the first of many times. That act alone gave Liam enough pleasure to climax then, but he didn’t. He held himself back, only to pleasure Louis. Louis’ personality was changing, he was becoming more “tongue in cheek” ;^). (If you didn’t understand that, I performed what is known as a pun “a play on words” in order to signify the fact of Louis’ amazing french kissing skills). They separated for moments in which seemed as long as entire generations. Louis looked into Liam’s eyes, at first sparingly. This convention eventually became habituated. He was lost in the maze known as Liam’s eyes, they mesmerized him, they entrapped him, they hypnotized him. Louis blacked out. When he awoke, he was on the couch, naked. He was holding Liam in his arms, what had he done?

Zayn was alone, as he was for the past 50 years. The apocalypse had started, and wouldn’t stop until One Direction was back together again. However, there was one problem: they were all dead, sparing Zayn. He wasn’t what he used to be. He lost the use of his left eye, a large scar protruding through it. The stress of survival granted him many white hairs, and his previously silky-smooth skin eventually became the rugged mat that it is today. He had a time machine, but the one fault of it, is that it only ran on pure love, a product not found in this post-apocalyptic world. There was a bright flash, it was time. An act of pure and true love had occurred at the 1D house, and he could finally visit again. This should make for an interesting visit.

Harry Styles was all alone inside his large, king-sized bed, made for two. He wondered where the others were. He knew Niall was out at the aquarium that he co-owned with Elon Musk, but Liam and Louis should be around. He felt lonely. All of the sudden, a bright flash of light blinded his beautiful, beautiful eyes. When he opened them, he saw an old face. It was Zayn. He had many wrinkles in which didn’t take away from his natural charm. He was much more muscular than he had remembered, and had a scar through a pupil-less left eye. “W-What are you doing here, and why are you so old?” Harry asked. Zayn explained the situation to Harry, not that it needed much explaining, for Harry is a very receptive guy. “But how did you even travel back in time?” a much calmer Harry asked. “Simple…”, Zayn started, “I just made a time machine that could run off of love.” That’s where Liam and Louis were! The pieces were falling together. “I-I just have one question”, a now nervous Harry Styles asked Zayn. “What do you plan on doing?” “Simple, again Harry…”, Zayn said, “we need to get back together.” Those words, oh those words! They were enough to make any normal man faint. However, Harry was no ordinary man. They collided, and whipped out their erect meat popsicles. The swordplay was quite exquisite, and distinct. The passion was emitting from them together, like nuclear radiation. It intoxicated them, changed them. They were sex monsters, sex machines. They could no longer control themselves. The energy that was displayed that night was enough to electrically supply the world for an entire week. One could simply say that it was unique; but when it comes to the love of Zayn and Harry, the only words that come to mind are extraordinary.

The next morning Zayn told his post-apocalyptic stories to the rest of the crew. Each one was unique and well told. Zayn who suggested that the gang should stop looking at his brutal battle scars that were totally wicked, and eat some breakfast for a change. “What’s it going to be?” Harry asked quaintly, already knowing the answer. “Pancakes, of course!” Zayn quickly replied. “Don’t forget the eggs!” Louis remarked. “Yeah, I don’t want to go to that store ever again” added Liam. “Hey, if you prevented the apocalypse from happening through the re-joining of the band that you just did, then how are you still an active or existent part of our universe? The multiverse theory states that there are an infinite amount of possibilities in which a universe can span, but at the same time, don’t you think it’s a very weird and unlikely one for you to still exist on this plane?” Niall questioned. “Shut up Niall, you’re not even a relevant character”, said God”. The pancakes were made, and they were the best that 1D has ever had. But it wasn’t the syrup, the butter, or the eggs that made them better. It was the reunion of a team, the greatest team, One Direction that made the concoction all the sweeter.

The End