A Thousand Son in Equestria, part 32 (Impostderp)

>You are now Twilight Sparkle
>And you have had the absolute shittiest last few days.
>You've been cloned, trapped in a gem cave beneath Canterlot, attacked by changelings, dealt with the Changeling Queen, and have just been generally busy.
>You're exhausted.
>Even though it's the middle of the day, you tell Spike to close the library and start to curl up in your bed to get some much-deserved rest.
>And then you hear a rapping upon your library door.
"Grrrrrraaaaaaaah! Spike, whoever it is, tell them to go away, and shove their hooves where the sun doesn't shi-"
>"It's Anonymous!"
"Oh."
>That changes everything.
>You spring out of your bed, having a minor panick attack as you try to make sure your mane is presentable.
>Anonymous, here? He'd just got back into town! Had he come to see you before-
>"Derpy's here too."
>Of course he hadn't.
>You sigh and try not to let your irritation show as you trot down the stairs.
"Let them in Spike."
>Had to be courteous, had to keep smiling.


>You watch as Derpy comes through the door first, limping on her hooves.
>What in Celestia happened to her? She looks awful!
>And she looked fine at the wedding. Even had a nice dress and every-
>Your train of thought switches tracks as Anonymous bows his way through the door.
>Even the sight of him makes you remember that one day, when you turned him into a pony.
>He was such a....such a...well, to quote Rarity, he was gorgeous.
>Even if he looked weird in his natural state, he had that MIND. So full of forbidden secrets.
>Secrets you wished he would whisper in your ea-
>"Twilight?"
>His voice snaps you out of your reverie and you smile up at him.
"Hey Anon, what's up?"
>Rainbow Dash talked like that. Maybe he'd like it. Derpy and her were both pegasi, after all.
>Anonymous stares at you blankly for a few moments before....SHE speaks up.
>"Heya Twilight!"
>You immediately switch focus to her, and so you miss the green glow that comes from Anon's helmet.
"Hello, Der-"
>"Right, yes, Twilight. Derpy and I need to borrow Spike. We need to send a letter. Ditzy found something."
"What did sh-"
>"Oh, Twilight, it was terrible!'
>There's something off about her voice, but you can't place it.


"Well go on, Derpy, what happened? We can get Spike to send a letter to the Princess after you tell me what happened."
>She nods, and you trot over to the table while Anonymous stands silently against the wall.
>Spike goes in the kitchen to fix you all something to eat.
>"Twilight, it was the changelings! They came after me on my way back from Canterlot! I barely made it back to Ponyville to warn you! You've got to tell the Princess!"
"Where did they attack you?"
>"I told you, when I was coming back from Canterlot-"
"No, I mean, where exactly were you when they attacked?"
>She hesitates for half a second while you examine her. She looks scratched, beat up, certainly, but there's something about her voice, and how quickly she talks...
>"Twilight, I don't remember, honest I don't. I was just flying to Ponyville, and they swarmed me! You need to tell the Princess, the changelings are still around! They're waylaying ponies outside Canterlot!"
>You think for a second, then pull over a piece of paper and a quill.
"Alright, but I need you to tell me one more time...."
>"Oh for-just get Spike in here already!"
>You glance up at Derpy's outburst, shocked, while Anon puts a hand on her shoulder.
"Forgive her, Twilight. She's stressed out."
>You start to feel a little suspicious.
>You'v heard a similar phrase before.
>Derpy sighs, and shakes her head.
>"I'm sorry, it's just...there were so many of them. And just one of me! Please, just let me tell the Princess. Bring Spike back in, please."
>Her ingratiating tone almost melts your suspicions away.
>And then you notice that her eyes are focusing right at you.
>And they've stayed focus the entire time she's been in the library.


>You pause for a moment, staring at Derpy, who's giving you a puzzled stare right back.
>A completely focused stare.
>Derpy had never been able to get that lazy eye under control unless she was furious about something, and even then, only for a few seconds.
>You slowly put your quill down.
"Do your eyes feel okay, Derpy?"
>She jumps, surprised, then holds a hoof towards her face.
>You watch as her yellow eyes turn and stare at the small mirror on your library wall.
>Then she scowls.
>"Always so observant, aren't you?"
>You back out of your chair, your horn already glowing.
>"Well, we tried this the easy way."
>Even as you prepare to fire a magic bolt, you feel yourself slammed against your wall by invisible Warp power.
>Anonymous casually holds one hand out towards you, holding you in place.
>You feel a slight pressure on your horn.
>Just enough to be painful, but not enough to snap it.
>Yet.
>"Derpy" gets to her hooves, still scowling at you.
>"Why couldn't you just shut up and listen, for once in your miserable life?"
>She glances over her shoulder.
>"Anonymous, dear? Kill her."


>Anonymous doesn't move.
>Instead, he turns his head and looks at Derpy.
>"Ditzy. Why would I....Twilight is our friend. There's no..."
>He trails off, and you spot a spark of blue behind that green glow in his eyes.
>"Derpy" scowls and whirls on him.
>You smirk.
"He's a bit too strong for you, changeling. When he comes to his senses, you're in for a world of hurt. Especially if you did anything to Derpy Hooves."
>She turns that scowl to you, and then it twists into a fanged smile.
>"Strong, maybe. Strong enough for a changeling, no doubt."
>"Derpy" bursts into flame.
>Her body blackens, and her wings burst into insectoid pinions, while her hair lengthens and a massive twisted horn sprouts from her forehead.
>Her eyes, the same sinister reptilian green you remember all too well, smirk at you from her black face.
>"But not strong enough for their Queen."
>Her horn glows, and the blue spark in Anon's helmet fades out, replaced by green again.
>Oh Celestia.
"SPIIIIIKE!"
>The little dragon pokes his head out from the kitchen door, takes on peek at the scene in the library room, and turns to flee.
>Chrysalis is already upon him.


>Chrysalis knocks the baby dragon to the ground, hissing at him.
>Spike doesn't wast time trying to talk, instead just pouring dragonfire up at her as she pins him down.
>Chrysalis grimaces, leaning her head out of the way before leaning back over Spike and spitting at him.
>A glob of green goo slams into Spike's mouth, sealing it closed.
>You can only watch, horrified, as Chrysalis painstakingly hacks up some kind of resin, drooling it over Spike and shaping it until the baby dragon is encased in a green cocoon.
"Oh sweet Celestia that's disgusting."
>Chrysalis glares at you.
>"You think it's bad to watch, try having to do it."
>She gives an irritated sigh before trotting over to you.
>"It didn't have to be this way, you know. You could have let me send Celestia off on a wild goose chase."
"And let you take over Equestria!? Not a chance in Tartarus!"
>She grimaces.
>"Really, would it have been so bad? All we want to do is eat, really. And the only way we can eat is by pleasing you."
>She smiles at the word "pleasing," and you shudder in disgust.
>"Just imagine. A life without pain, without worry, without fear. Just being loved and giving love in return. The pony of your dreams..."
>She leans over and sniffs you, her wings fluttering.
>"Or perhaps, in your case, the PERSON of your dreams. Always at your side. Always loving. Always caring for you. Never fighting. With you until the day you die."
>You glare at her. What did she do, just SNIFF you and figure it out?
>"We would give you all of that. Endless bliss. Everyone, pony and changeling, comes out of the deal happy."
"It wouldn't be love."
>That stops Chrysalis short.


"It would just be a lie."
>"A lie you would love! Bliss and harmony, for all eternity! Isn't that what you ponies strive for?"
>You glare at her, frowning.
"But that's my point. If you just gave it to us, we'd have nothing to strive for. Nothing to gain. We'd have no hope, no desire to change or to grow. We'd just stagnate, as all our achievements wasted away around us."
>Something flickers across Chrysalis' face.
>Something that resembles pain.
>You smile at her, while she regains her trademark sneer.
>"You don't know what you're talking about. I'm offering you paradise, and you're just throwing it in my face. So be it. I tried to be generous."
>You grow nervous.
"What...what do you mean?"
>"I mean we're done here. I'm going to finish what I started. But this time, no warnings. No more civilized political warfare. I'm going to take Equestria, one city at a time. We're going to feed and grow strong and finally full, finally happy, finally sated. No more of this endless hunger."
"Celestia will stop you. And if she can't, my brother and Cadence will, just like they did before!"
>She smiles at you.
>"Twilight, dear, try not to be as dense as your brother. I already have the perfect weapon against Celestia."
>She takes flight, leaning against Anonymous and running a long, wormlike tongue along his helmet.
>"Right here."
>Fear grips your heart. No more stalling, you need to act.
>You concentrate, your horn glowing as you teleport out of Anon's magic.
>Gotta warn the Prince-
>"Anonymous, dear? Stop her."
>Suddenly, horridly vivid visions of Eldar dicks fill your mind, and you collapse, huddled in a ball of horror as your worst nightmare assaults you again and again.


ON THE ROAD OUTSIDE CANTERLOT.
>Ow.
>Ow, ow, ow, ow, seriously, ow.
>You open your eyes and immediately wince as the sunlight nearly blinds you.
>You are Ditzy Doo, and your head is KILLING YOU.
>You put a hoof up and rub the spot where that changeling queen knocked you unconscious.
>You'd just been trying to help her, for Celestia's sake! She may have been a monster, but you weren't going to leave her leg like that!
>You get to your hooves unsteadily, wincing as you touch the massive bruise on your forehead again.
>You needed to get home. You wanted to see Dinkie again. And...
>Your eyes go wide, and your left one rolls into focus briefly
>Anon!
>Anonymous was supposed to get back today! He had gone to do magic shows with that Trixie mare.
>A brief worry about what kind of "magic" they did in those shows enters your head, but you stomp it out.
>Ditzy Doo was not the jealous type, no sirree.
>You take off unsteadily, headed towards Ponyville.
>You couldn't wait to see him!


>You hum to yourself as you wing your way back into Ponyville, ignoring the occasional ache your head injury gives you.
>You'd had worse.
>You look down, your good eye taking note of the ponies beneath you as you wave to them.
>You were coming up on Twilight's library.
>You'd been meaning to have a talk with her.
>She was a nice mare, really she was. Nicer than Rarity, anyway.
>And you might be a little clumsy, and a little ditzy, as your name implied, but you weren't stupid.
>You knew Twilight had a thing for Anon.
>More than just a physical thing, like Rarity or Fluttershy. She liked him the way you liked him. For who he was.
>But she kept it hidden, and she was always polite and smiling when she wasn't in one of her snarky moods. You were going to bake her a muffin for being so understanding.
>As you wing your way closer, you veer to a stop as you watch Anon leave the library.
>Is that? Was that Twilight, curled up in his arms?
>Why would he....
>Your eyes refocus as you start getting angry, truly angry.
>And then something stops you short.
>Namely, the sight of you calmly walking out of the Library after Anon.
>You knew what that meant. You were ditzy, but not stupid.
>You dart away before the imposter you can turn and look, making your way towards the edge of town.
>You needed help.
>And you knew the exact pony for the job.
>The closest thing you had to an ex.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-ZKlH_Z8Z0
>He was easy to find.
>His answering machine was, anyway.
>Standing outside of his tiny house, lugging around that fake hourglass of his.
>He waves at you as you land, and you ignore it, passing through the hologram and heading out back, towards the shed.
>There it was.
>The little blue box.
>You were kinda surprised he was still here, all things considered.
>You hadn't parted company on the best of terms.
>You reach out a hoof and knock on the blue door, frowning.
"Doctor! Doctor, it's Ditzy! Open up!"
>The door creaks open, and the Doctor, the real Doctor, peeks outside, frowning.
>Then his face lights up when he looks at you.
>"Derpy Hooves! Well isn't this special! What's the occasion, eh? Come by for English muffins? You never could make a proper English muffin, you know that Ditz-"
>You hold up a hoof to cut him off.
"Not now, Doctor. I need your help. It happened. Anon's in trouble."
>The Doctor's smile falls off his face, and he opens the door wider.
>"I did warn you, didn't I?"
>You glare at him, and he gives that crooked grin of his.
>"Could never argue with that face, could I?"
>You give a small smile, and he steps out of the blue box, sonic screwdriver already in his teeth.
>"Well then, time's a wasting! Allons-y!"