'if':{
        'and':{'has_inventory':{'head':null}},
        'then':{
			'if':{
				'and':{ 'random':66},
				'then':{'text':'"I\'m sorry, I was just leaving to go on a quest.  You\'ll have to come back later if you need my help."'},
				'else':{
					'if':{
						'and':{'has_inventory':{'dress':'b-ribbon3'}},
						'then':{'text':'"Is this the princess\'s magic?  If I can copy her magic, I will be far more powerful!"', 'upgrade_inventory':{'ribbon':-1}},
						'else':{
							'if':{
								'and':{ 'has_inventory':{'harness':'b-harness3'}},
								'then':{'text':'"Oh, this looks complicated.  Let me look at that harness!"', 'upgrade_inventory':{'harness':-1}},
								'else':{
									'if':{
										'and':{'has_inventory':{'collar':'b-collar3'}},
										'then':{'text':'"The runes used on your collar are an ancient magic. Let me have them, please!"', 'upgrade_inventory':{'collar':-1}},
										'else':{
											'if':{
												'and':{'has_inventory':{'dress':'b-dress3'}},
												'then':{'text':'"The enchantment on this dress is simply enthralling! I must break it!"', 'upgrade_inventory':{'dress':-1}},
												'else':{'text':['"Why do you waste my time with this drivel.  Next time bring me a real challenge!  For now, here\'s your punishment for wasting my time."', 'The Hero roughly shoves a gag into your mouth and locks it tightly around your head'], 'upgrade_inventory':{'gag':2}},
											},
										},
									},
								},
							},
						},
					},
				},
			},
        },
        'else':{'text':'I have no time to be bothered by those that can\'t even talk for themselves!'}
}