Anon Quest: Journey of the Golden Dice pt.1

>Another lazy evening in the shop; you fiddling at the front desk with some a Rubik’s Sphere; your brother in the living room talking with the girls and Spike.
>Apparently your little bro has some big plans for the next few days, but he’s been pretty hushed about where he’s going. Maybe he’s after that collectible Bruiser Blade he was blabbing about last week, but the fact that he’s bringing the others makes it seem bigger than that.
>Finishing your sphere’s green piece and beginning the red, your attention is broken by the chime of the front door’s bell.
>Instinctively, you announce,
Welcome to The Anon Brothers-
>Before realizing it’s only Rainbow Dash, who needs not the introduction. Like the others, she has her satchels with her, which makes you wonder what exactly they have on them right now.
Coming to see my brother?
>“Yeah,” she casually says whilst walking to the hall door at your left.
>You stop her from leaving however, asking as you continue your puzzle,
How are you doing?
>“Fine…how are you doing?”
Pretty good, can’t complain…
>There’s an awkward pause as you try your best to not give her any eye contact.
>“So…I guess I’ll talk to ya later.”
Sounds cool.

---

>“Oh, and Rainbow Dash?”
Yeah Anon?
>“I don’t know what Anon’s planning, so…just make sure he’s safe, okay? He’s my little brother and…stuff.”
>He’s trying to hide it, focusing his attention on that toy as if this barely matters, but I can tell Anon’s concerned. I can feel it by looking at him.
“Don’t worry,” I say with a confident smile, “I promise he’ll come back 100 percent safe, then, we’re gonna kick your butt at some board games!”
>He finally looks up to me, telling me with a cocky smirk, “Well aren’t you presumptuous?”
Nah, I’m just RIGHT.
>“REALLY NOW? Is this the hip, new thing no one told me about? Going into stores and LYING to your friends?!”
>“Ya caught me Anon!” I say with fake drama, “I just wanted the big kids to think I’m cool!”
>Anon tries to keep straight face, but he soon begins to break into a snicker when he sees the hammy grin I’m giving back to him. A snicker soon turns to a laugh, and I can’t help but laugh with him, which causes him to laugh even harder, and as we yuck it up together for the first time in forever, I think to myself how good it feels that we’re not at each other’s throats for once.
>We should hang out more.
>The laugher soon dies down, and after a moment to catch my breath I tell him,
Seriously though, I should go see Anon and the others.
>“Yeah, you do that.”
>With that, Anon returns to his little toy, and I open the door, ready to leave him behind. I can see a little smile on his face however, as I walk into the hallway, and upstairs where the others should be waiting.

---

Anon Quest: Journey of the Golden Dice, Part 1: The Boy With the Silver Shoe

>Preparing for today’s trip, you’ve gathered everyone in the upstairs kitchen as you ready a surplus of sandwiches to cram in your already hearty backpack. The others are distracted well enough, gathered around Rarity as she tries to complete the Perfection game, but you can’t help but wonder when Dash will show up.
>Sure, it’s only been a few minutes past 2: 50, but you’re the type of kid too anxious for waiting.
>Thankfully, after Rarity fails and Fluttershy gives a startled shriek at the popping pieces of the Perfection board, you hear the familial voice of that sporty blue mare, wondering through everyone’s laughter,
>“What’d I miss?”
 “Dash!” you excitedly say through everyone’s greetings, “Let me finish SLATHERING this mayonnaise over here and then we’ll start things off. Spike, could you please close the blinds?”
>“You got it Anon.”
>With a raised brow Dash asks, “Why do you need the blinds closed?”
Ambience.
>The room slowly darkens as you finish preparing your mozzarella tomato sandwich, and you reach into the backpack sitting on the counter to get things started.
You gals are gonna love this.
>You pull out a yellow scroll catching their eyes and squeeze yourself into the crowded kitchen table.
Now, I know things have been tough lately. Blue Anon’s going to start using his lucky dice more often, and I feel like that’s taken a blow to our morale.
>Twilight’s quick to add, “Lucky dice don’t make logical-”
“SO IT WAAARMS THE COCKLES OF MY HEART” you yell speaking over her, “that you all have agreed to go adventuring with me.
>Spike mentions, “I thought you said we were taking a camping trip.”
Well, yeah, I said we’d be camping, but this is also an ADVENTURE, with exciting sights, and treasure and everything. Check this out.
>With that, you unrolls the scroll, revealing it to be a highly detailed map of Ponyville on golden foil, with markings and notes, and a dotted red path with a big ‘X’ of where you need to go. There’s also several pieces of paper clipped onto its top covered in kind of legible hoofwriting.
>“Shiiiny!~” says Pinkie gazing into the reflective foil.
Shiny indeed. Last year, during the Equestrian Poker Tournament in Manehatten, a nice old colt sold this to me in a back alley. This is a semi-perfect guide from Ponyville, to the home of Golden Heart, where we’ll be heading and where I plan on learning his secrets.
>Following the path, it crosses through Rambling Rock Ridge, into Dodge City and all the way into Hayseed Swamps.
>“…Wait,” says Rarity, “are we seriously traveling to Hayseed Swamps?
>Fluttershy fearfully adds, “That’s located next to the Badlands, there could be d…d-DRAGONS there!”
Dragons ehh? I didn’t actually know that…hmm…Either way, this is where we’ll be heading to in the next few minutes.
>“This is just silly,” says Applejack, honest as ever, “What’s so important about finding this guy anyways?”
>“AJ, Mr. Heart is more than just some “guy”. He’s the luckiest colt in Equestria. From what I heard, Golden Heart became a millionaire forty years ago trough high stakes gambling and risky investments, then he married the mare of his dreams, retired, and lived happily ever after, and it’s all thanks to a lucky pair of dice that he used and kept at all times. Legend has it that if you visit him and he makes you a pair of golden dice, you’ll be lucky forever. With something like that, there’s no way Anon will be able to out-luck us ever again.
>Twilight shakes her head at the statement.
>“Anon, legends don’t spread that quickly, and even if it were true, are you honestly willing to risk your life just for the chance to beat your brother at a board-game?”
…Twilight, I respect you and all; I think you’re really smart, but that was the dumbest question you have ever asked me. Now come on guys! Grab your stuff and follow me to the garage.
---
>It seems like the garage becomes more and more packed every time you enter. Years’ worth of convention and LARPING costumes, toy’s and memorabilia from sorts of travels; several shelves alone are occupied by your brother’s old collection of Transformers and Battle Beasts; countless boxes and crates containing who even knows what at this point, and of course a fine layer of dust to give it all a consistent tone, but the one thing that always draws your eye, no matter how the place changes, are the Monopoly Go-Karts your Dad let you keep.
>Inspired by tokens classic car, Tuk Tuk Wagon, thimble, and (your personal favorite) the shoe, these chrome babies were a staple in the Real Life Monopoly campaign of 2011, allowing 4 players like the board game, but having enough room for two in each, meaning there’s just enough room for everyone.
>“IT’S SO SHINY!”
>Pinkie immediately begins trotting around the small cars, noting every detail she can as you begin speaking with the others.
Okay everypony, if we’re gonna travel, we should do it in style. I don’t mind where you all sit, but let’s be clear when I say that /I’m/ driving the shoe. Also, these things aren’t made for ponies, so I’m trusting Twilight and Rarity to drive, because they can magic the wheel.
>Twilight gives a nod, and Rarity tells you, “I’ll do my best.”
>Spike excitedly questions, “Does this mean I get to drive too Anon. I’ve got the claws for it.”
Yeah, but you’re too short to work the pedals.
>Pinkie yells for your attention, announcing, “I can do it!” and you turn back to see her comfortably seated in the Tuk Tuk, turning the wheel back and forth with a massive grin. That look in her eyes gives you an unsettling feeling, as if she’s going to crash your kart by the end of the day, but it’s not like she’s any less experienced than the others.
>You have no good reason to tell her no, so against your better judgment you give her a chance.
I’ll trust you. Just please be careful, okay?
>“Careful is my middle name!” she says before backing into a stack of crates, causing it to collapse behind her.
…Okay then. Everypony take in a seat.
>With that, you hop into your shoe and Applejack takes the seat behind you. Rarity takes the thimble, and you notice Spike about to take the seat behind her, but Twilight intervenes, picking him up with her magic and placing him in the back seat of her car before buckling him in place.
>“Comfy?” she says with an oblivious smile.
>“Yeah, I guess,” he responds as he crosses his arms in disappointment.
>Rainbow Dash takes Spike’s would-be seat with a slouch, and with no other options available, Fluttershy reluctantly crawls in with Pinkie.
Okay everypony, let’s-WAIT A SECOND, I FORGOT SOMETHING.
>You quickly unbuckle out of your shoe, and run over to one of the costumes on display: you’re Shogun uniform. You don’t know how dangerous this trips going to be, so just in case, you decide to take your favorite weapon with you from the display: The EdgeMaster Katana.
Okay now. I’m ready!

---
>Finally, you make it through green having only yellow left to solve as you hear the faint cranking noise of the garage door rising outside. You can only assume Anon is taking the cars, and it’s confirmed as you see the sight of Pinkie zooming cross the front door with Fluttershy clutching desperately to her side. Anon trails behind, yelling out for her to slow down, and the others quickly pass as well.
>Where they’re going and how long they’ll be gone is a complete mystery, so you hope what you told Dash resonates with her.
Good luck, brother.
>Almost immediately after they leave, you hear the chiming noise of the room’s cuckoo clock, indicating that it’s 3 o’clock…on a Monday.
Wait, it’s 3 o’clock already!
>You leap from your chair ready to run over and lock the door, but it’s already too late. Timely as ever, the door is kicked open by Apple Bloom, and her two little filly friends sprint into the house excitedly.
>“Anon!” yells Apple Bloom before sprinting in for a tackling hug to the stomach.
>It brings out a loud grunt, as Scootaloo leaps from your desk to your back for a hug, nearly tipping you over as Sweetie Belle cuddles up to your leg.
“Hello girls,” you dully say before Sweetie and Apple loosen their grip to start toying with your sample goods.
>Scootaloo’s got a determined grip around your neck however, and hasn’t let go.
Scootaloo?
>“Did you get taller? It seems higher up here than usual.”
Dang it Scootaloo!
>She gives a playful giggle before leaping off to watch the other two are mess with a pink and violet stripped display Furby.
>“What’s this thing,” says Sweetie Belle sitting on the floor, and examining the creature in her hooves.
>“ Brttz%Hah—toh—da!”
>She nearly drops it, shocked by the fact it responded.
>“Did that thing just talk?” says Apple Bloom backing slightly.
>“Let me see!” demands Scootaloo as she awkwardly lifts it in her hoof.
>“Hello? My name is Scootaloo.”
>There’s a pause, before it responds with a rendition of ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’. As it “LA”s each note, their eyes widen and look back to each other in amazement before it finishes with a, “Hmm—too—pridiii!”
>They squee joyfully at the strange toy, but you’re not as vulnerable to their cute charms as the you of the past.
Are you three actually going to buy something? It seems like all you three ever do is window shop and mess with anything that doesn’t have a price tag.
>Apple Bloom response, “Well, we’re just kids.”
>“Yeah,” says Scootaloo. “We don’t have any bits.”
>“And you’ve got such cool stuff!” says Sweetie Belle, punctuated with a crack of the voice. “Like /that/ thing.”
>Sweetie makes example of your 100 piece Jumbo Jenga tower, accidently knocking the structure over with a touch of the hoof.
>“Oops.”
And there’s another thing! You girls are always messing up the place. It ain’t good for business.
>“You’re not upset, are you?”
>Sweetie’s lips begin to curve into an unforgivably cute pout that even now your cold heart can’t truly pass, causing you to slap your forehead in frustration.
No, I’m not upset Sweetie Belle. It’s just…look, I appreciate that you girls have such a fine appreciation for the store, but you girls need some direction if you’re going to make these visits a regular thing.
>“But Anon,” says Apple Bloom as she climbs your shelves for the Candy Land set, “this is ALREADY a regular thing.
>She grabs the box with her teeth, but loses her grip, falling on her back and scattering the pieces all across the hardwood floor.
>It brings an embarrassed laugh to Sweetie Belle, blushing at the re-affirmed case you’ve made.
>“I’ll clean that up,” says Apple Bloom from under the box cover.
>Deep breaths Anon.
>Knowing this is a downhill battle, you walk to your desk and pull out a sign that reads “Be Back Soon” with a little frowny face at the side. You then head to your door, take off the “OPEN” sign, and place it across for everyone to see.
Hey ponies?
>>>“Yes Anon,” they say in excited unison.
I think I might have a game you three would really like.

---

>Surprisingly, Pinkie’s a natural at driving. Aside from that faux pas with the crates, she’s swerving and turning in the most erratically smooth fashion possible, dodging civilians with relative ease without even once taking her hoof off the gas.
>“This is so much fun!”
>Mr. Toe-Tapper leaps from the road, afraid he’s about to be hit by the mad mare. She would’ve swerved around him you’re sure, but you’re still compelled to yell,
Sorry!
>as you drive ahead to try and lead her with the others.
>Working as a guide, Pinkie straightens up considerably, and without another hitch, you all pass the town bridge to the dirt road in the woods that lead to your first stop: Rambling Rock Ridge.
Okay, sooo I’m gonna be honest here; my map is not to scale, and I know very little about Rambling Rock. Anyone have an idea how far it is?
>Dash yells from behind, “Rambling Rock Ridge is about 114 miles from where we are right now. I’m guessing we’re moving at a top speed of about 55 miles an hour right?”
That’s exactly right?...How did you know that?
>“When you do the kind of training I do, a sense of speed and position is important,” she pridefully remarks, “We should be there in about 2 hours, there’s a huge slope when approaching the ridge though, so it might be closer to 2 tenish.”
>Twilight mentions from the very back, “If you’re using physics for your training Rainbow Dash, I wouldn’t mind teaching you a few equations?”
>“Do I look like an egghead to you?”
>“I’ll take that as a ‘maybe’.”
>You all continue in relative silence for the next few minutes, and everything seems fine at first, but sure enough for any quest, conflict soon arises. A small fact that you failed to note when seeing the path, is that these woods are actually connected to the Everfree Forest. Of course, something wandering its way into these parts are unlikely, but it’s not /too/ unlikely, and this fact rears its ugly head as your path is soon blocked by a sleeping…
>“What is that?” says Spike aloud to the party.
>It’s hard to describe.
>It’s sort of a bear, if bears where the size of a truck when lying down. It’s definitely got the bottom of one, but then the torso gets all feathery and the face kind of looks like a bird.
>Fluttershy confirms your thoughts, telling the others, “I think this is an owlbear. Oooh it looks so cuddly and soft. I’ve never seen one in real life before.”
>“Well, I’m glad ya like it,” says Applejack, “but we best move that thing if we’re gonna get through. You’re good with animals; why don’t ya give it a little shake? Maybe sweet talk it into moving.”
>“Um…okay.”
>Gently, she begins to nudge the beast, and speaks to it in her soothing voice.
>“Hey their little fella.”
>The creature gives a low toned groan as it subconsciously shakes off her hoof.
>“You must be pretty tired, and believe me when I say I’m sorry, but we kind of have to get through here, and you’re sort of kind of blocking our path, so if it’s all right with you…I mean, it’s not like we’re in a hurry or anything, but it’d be pretty swell of you if you-“
>“For Pete sake,” says Rarity from the safety of her thimble. “You’ll need to be more assertive than that if you want a proper response.”
>Fluttershy turns back to Rarity and tells her, “I’m /really/ sorry Rarity, but this is a very delicate process.”
>As she continues speaking, you notice the owlbear continuing to adjust in the background, before eventually coming to the point of turning over.
>“Owlbears are especially unfriendly during the day, and I don’t want to escalate things past where they-”
Fluttershy, watch out!
>Fluttershy’s eyes pop open a she turns back to see the eclipsing sight of the owlbear ready to turn onto her.
>With hardly a second to react, she almost leaps out of the way, but she’s still pinned under the trunk-like mass of the creature’s arm.
>The ponies yell out for her, “Fluttershy!” as she weakly wiggles from under its weight.
>You almost unsheathe your katana (a risky play that you don’t want to perform), but before it even comes to that, Dash tackles into the beast like a cannon, using all of her wing power to push the owlbear back to its stomach.
>Unsurprisingly, such an impact causes it to give pain-filled and infuriated roar as it’s brought to consciousness.
>“Fluttershy, are you okay?!” says Dash, pulling your poor yellow friend in her hooves.
>Her response is only a dazed moan as the now awakened beast rises to his hind legs, and glares at you and the group with its bloodshot red and yellow eyes.
>It then gives a great roar, trembling the ground, and sending the birds in the trees scattering through the sky.
>“WHOOO JUST DID THAT?!” he announces in an Englishman’s accent before donning a monocle.
Aw crud.