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- >Day chillin' with your bro in Equestria
- >You're sitting in Sugarcube corner with your bro Rainbow Dash, downing some fucking fine milkshakes.
- >Dash is more of a vanilla type, whereas you enjoy a chocolate-y beverage.
- >She audibly slurps her drink, bored look on her face.
- "So how's it going?" you ask, trying to start a conversation.
- >Dash's ears perk up, and she raises her head.
- >"Like, at work or what?"
- >You nod.
- >"Eh, it's okay. Not all that interesting or challenging. Why?"
- >You shrug at her.
- "Just curious how my bro's doing[spoiler], is all.[/spoiler]"
- >The bell over the door rings as it swings open, and Twilight steps in.
- >She looks around the shop, as if she is searching for something or someone.
- >Having spotted you, she walks over to your table and plops herself down.
- >"Hi there Anon and Dash!" she greets you.
- "'sup?" say you and Dash back.
- >"Oh I was having a day off and thought that maybe I could enjoy some time with my friends."
- >Dash raises an eyebrow.
- >"A day off? You don't really have a job, Twilight."
- >Twilight laughs nervously.
- >"Oh you know, day off from saving Equestria and all."
- >Twilight rests her head on one hoof, playing with the napkin dispenser with the other.
- >"Sooo... have you guys ever thought of tag-teaming a mare?"
- >You choke on your milkshake, and Dash stops mid-slurp.
- "I can't say we have" you say.
- >"Nope. Never." throws in Dash.
- >A slight blush starts to form on the purple mare's cheeks.
- >"O-Okay, me neither!" states Twilight nervously.
- >"Anyways, I should be going."
- >Awkwardly, she stumbles out of the door.
- >The two of you look after her as she bumps into a random pony outside and apologises profusely.
- >"What's gotten into her?" asks Dash, straw in mouth.
- >You strum around on your Ukulele, Dash sitting next to you under a tree.
- >She sighs heavily.
- >"Man, today is such a lame day."
- "No shit. Barely anything cool is happening."
- >Dash scratches her chin with her hoof.
- >Wait, how does that even work? Whatever.
- >"You know, there was the incident with Twilight this noon at Sugarcube Corner."
- "Yeah but that's not cool. Besides, she's probably just doing some weird research again. Come on, Twilight wanting to get boned by us? At the same time?"
- >Dash laughs.
- >"I know right? That would be so awkward. Totally not brosher."
- "Yeah, imagine how un-cool that would be."
- >Dash makes a grimace.
- >"I don't want to imagine that at all, dude."
- >Speaking of the devil, Twilight is coming trotting towards the two of you.
- "Oh boy, here we go again." you mutter.
- "Hey Anon, hey Dash!" Twilight exclaims excitedly.
- >"'sup?" the two of you greet her.
- >Twilight's gaze shifts to the Ukulele in your hands.
- >"You seem to be pretty skilled with your fingers, Anon." she notes.
- >You put down the Ukulele and look at her.
- "Maybe. Kinda. Why?"
- >Twilight rubs her forehooves together.
- >"Oh, I was just wondering." Twilight replies.
- >Dash throws you an interrogatory glance.
- >You reply by shrugging, and look back at Twilight.
- "Anything else you wanted to know?"
- >Twilight raises her head high and gives you a smile.
- >"No, that's all for now!" she says, and walks away.
- >Later that afternoon, your bro Rainbow Dash and you are strolling down Ponyville's main road.
- >"Maybe she was really just curious about your fingers?" asks Dash.
- "Come on Dash, I can put two and two together. If she had a question about fingers in general, she could just ask Spike." you say.
- >"Well if she was sexually frustrated, she could just ask Spike as well." objected Dash.
- >You make a grimace and stick your tongue out as if you had just eaten something icky.
- "Never mention that possibility again, you dirty-minded horse."
- >Dash's voice crackles as she laughs.
- >As you pass a flower shop, Twilight comes out the door.
- >"Oh, Anon! Dash! Good to see you! I have another question I'd like you to answer." she begins.
- "Would we like to answer it as well?" you remark sarcastically.
- >Twilight ignores you and continues.
- >"So, what would you say is your average sexual stamina?" she asks, grabbing a parchment and a quill from her saddlebag.
- >Dash and you just stand there, dumbfounded.
- >"Oh, the question concerns both of you." Twilight adds.
- "I don't think I'm comfortable talking with you about that, Twilight." you tell her.
- >"Okay then, and you, Dash?" she acknowledges, turning her head towards your blue bro.
- >"S-Same here" says Dash, stuttering.
- >Twilight lets her head hang in disappointment and groans.
- >Suddenly, her head shoots up again and she smiles.
- >"Then we'll just have to find out!" she exclaims, walking past you.
- >"She usually doesn't act this creepy." remarked Dash, sitting next to you on the tree branch.
- >Groaning, you rub your temples.
- "Well what are we supposed to do now?"
- >Dash rubs her shoulder thoughtfully.
- >"Well, maybe we should confront her about it. I mean, we can't just let that friendship be destroyed."
- >You tense up and turn your head towards Dash.
- "'Confront her'? You mean we should tag-team her?"
- >Dash shrugs.
- >"I would prefer not to, so I was mainly just thinking about having a talk with her."
- >You sigh in relief.
- "Okay, we could do that. But what if she starts acting weird again?"
- >"Then we slap her in the face!" suggests Dash, demonstrating the appropriate bitch-slapping motion with her right hoof.
- "And how would that make us look to the rest of her - and our - friends? We can't do that, bro."
- >Dash puts her elbows on her thighs and rests her head between her hooves.
- >She closes her eyes for a moment, and opens them again slowly, before staring you directly into the eyes.
- >"Then there's only one solution, Anon."
- >You shake your head in disbelief, sweat starting to form on your forehead.
- >Dash looks at you intently, waiting for a response.
- "Oh no. Nonono. I- ... We won't do that."
- >"It would just be a one-time thing to relieve her of all that pent-up sexual frustration..."
- "And what if she wants more?"
- >Dash furrows her brow.
- >"Then we give her more."
- >You jump off the branch and turn around to face her.
- "No Dash, we can't be Twilight's eternal sex slaves!"
- >"But that would only be a problem if she indeed wants more, and those are just assumptions for now!"
- >You cover your eyes with both of your hands and breath in deeply.
- "Fine. I'll do it."
- >"Awesome!" exclaims Dash, jumping off the tree branch as well.
- "Awesome...?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.
- >"T-That... you... we... found a way to resolve this conflict." she says, blushing.
- >Weird.
- >With a heavy heart, Rainbro Dash and you walk the green mile to Twilight's library.
- >You call it "Green Mile" because it leads through a small grass field. Also, because you wanted to make a reference to capital punishment.
- >Dash has been walking on your side, not saying a word the entire way.
- >You now stand in front of the library door. A light being turned on on the inside confirms that someone is home.
- >As you raise your hand to knock, the door swings open.
- >There she stands, Twilight. The reason why this day turned from lame to weird in just a few hours.
- >"Oh great, you came! That is, came to my house, not, you know, 'came'. Unless I missed something and-"
- >"Twilight, we really need to talk" interrupts her Dash.
- >"Certainly we do, please come in. Let me just grab my things." Twilight agrees.
- >Dash looks at you with a raised eyebrow, then the two of you head inside.
- "Dude, why did we think this was a good idea?" you whisper to her.
- >Sooner than you'd have liked, Twilight comes back, levitating a piece of parchment, a quill, an inkpot and a stopwatch in front of herself.
- >You step in her path and give her a serious look.
- "Twilight, I know it has been a while since you've had a proper coltfriend, and you must have a lot of built up sexual tension, but me and Dash would rather not have to strain this friendship by having sex with you."
- >Twilight looks at you confused, then begins to laugh.
- >"Oh you two, you're so silly!"
- >"What?" exclaim you and Dash at the same time.
- >"This isn't about me! I get enough attention down there as it is, but thank you for caring. I'm simply collecting data for a statistical analysis of Ponyville's sexual habits."
- >Your jaw drops to the floor, so does Dash's.
- >She pokes you in the side.
- >"Dude, you were right, it is just research."
- >Twilight clears her throat.
- >"Now that we've cleared that up, let's have a look at that stamina."
- "What?" you ask, but Twilight ignores you.
- >"Anon, please unzip your pants." she orders you, grabbing the stopwatch.
- "I'm not sure if I-" you begin, but Twilight interrupts you.
- >"Oh don't worry. All data will be treated highly confidentially. Now Rainbow Dash, would you do the honours?"
- "I think you're misundersta-" you try to say, but you're interrupted yet again, this time by your bro Dash.
- >"Alright." she says, wings fully extended.
- "What the fuck bro?"
- >"Aww cmon Anon, can't two friends have some fun?" Dash throws in, her face blushing.
- >You sigh, dropping your pants.
- "This is so not cool, man."
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