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- >Another long day at the sweet shop you run.
- >But it's what you have to do to support your son and starving artist wife.
- >Honestly, you appreciate all the care and affection she gives Anon, but it would be nice to see her pick up her harp more often.
- >Maybe play some gigs at the local bars.
- >Would mean you don't have to work so long.
- >Could spend more time with your growing boy.
- >He towers over you at fifteen.
- >You sigh, accepting that this is your life, and that it's not so bad.
- >You enter your home and call out to your alien son.
- "Anon? Are you home sweetie?"
- >Some thumps come from the living room.
- >You open the door to the living room to find your son scrambling to put his pants on.
- >"M-mom?! I was... uh..."
- >Your gaze turns to see a giant green box behind your son.
- >On top of the box reads 'Enter Dick Win A Prize'.
- >He's standing there looking at you nervously.
- >"I-it was here when I got back from school..."
- >Your eyes shift to a hard glare.
- >"I know I know, I shouldn't just... but it's been here all day! It was taunting me! Nothing I did make it open up so I figured..."
- >Your hoof plants itself on your face.
- "Just go to your room son."
- >Anon walks out of the living room, green head hung in shame.
- >You trot over to the box.
- >It has a hole just smaller than your hoof.
- >Peering into the hole only reveals darkness within.
- >"Lyra, get out of the box."
- >The box shifts slightly.
- >"Th-there's no Lyra here! Just the mystery of the box and its 'forthcoming' prize!"
- >Your hoof punches into the hole and you pull out your minty green unicorn wife through it.
- >"Oh.. hey Bon Bon! Th-this isn't my shower, h-how did I get in here?"
- "Just start dinner, SWEETIE, if you would?"
- >She winces at the venom you put in your words.
- >"R-right! Dinner... on the way!"
- >This is your life...
- "And don't you dare serve Anon mint doughnuts and demand he lick the frosting off first!"
- >"AWW COME ON!"
- >"Thanks for the doughnuts mom, they tasted great like always."
- >Doughnuts?
- >Oh Celestia damnit.
- >You trot towards the kitchen.
- >Lyra is on the kitchen table swaying over to Anon.
- >"You really like them Nonny? Well I've got something I bet you'll lo-"
- "NOPE."
- >You bite your wife's tail and drag her out of the kitchen.
- >Her hooves fail to gain purchase on the wooden floor despite her best clawing attempts.
- >"Alright well I have to go on my camping trip with the crusaders moms, We're going to try and catch bighoof!"
- >Anon hoists his pack onto his back and walks over to you both.
- >"Love you moms..."
- >He leans down to kiss your cheek and you nuzzle him gently.
- >Lyra's eyes go wide, her hooves go up and she puckers her lips.
- "Anon, did you forget your flashlight?"
- >He stops and turn to look at you.
- >Your wife goes tumbling forward since her eyes were shut in her attempt to make out with your son.
- >"Nope, I made triple sure to pack it and a few extra batteries" he says with a proud smile.
- >He turns around and picks up Lyra.
- >He kisses the top of her dazed head.
- "Good boy" you say with a smug smile.
- >Anon laughs, "Believe me, Bloom would have my head if I forgot my flashlight. Okay, Bye moms!"
- >He shuts the door behind him as he goes off on his adventure.
- >Lyra shakes her head to collect herself.
- "Well... it seems like we have the night alone together..."
- >"Yeah... about that, remember how you said you wanted me to get gigs?"
- "I do."
- >"Well, I got one! Oh, and I need to be there soon!"
- >A large harp case floats over by the door.
- >"Don't wait up for me Bon Bon!"
- >You can see a brown furry hoof dangling out of the bottom of the shut case.
- "Lyra..."
- >She freezes under the weight of your tone.
- >"Y-yes?"
- "Where are you going to play at? Maybe I could come with you? Support my wife."
- >"N-noooo no! Y-you don't need to do that, I know you support me all the way from here."
- "There's a bighoof suit in the case isn't there?"
- >"There might be a folklore-ically accurate representation in the form of an outfit, but I assure you it's purely for educati-"
- "You're not going to hunt Anon in the woods wearing a bighoof costume Lyra."
- >"But he's a young stallion! Going with three young mares! In the woods! ALONE!"
- "... get the night vision goggles."
- >"YES!"
- "But you're only going to use the suit to scare them from getting too close."
- >"Noooooo!"
- >"Gotta check em!"
- "Lyra, we both know that he hasn't needed to take off his pants to check his temperature since he was a foal."
- >Your son moans as he awakens from his sleep.
- "Are you feeling alright gumball?"
- >"Yeah, do you need anything? Water? Tea? Blowjob? Soup?"
- >Anon shakes his head weakly.
- >"Mm cld mms" he responds in a gravely voice.
- >It breaks your heart to see him like this.
- >"Cold? Don't you worry my boy I've got just the thing for that!"
- >Lyra's crouched next to the bed, her tail is raised and flicking.
- >Honestly? Does she ever stop?
- "LYR-"
- >"A big warm blanket!"
- >A green blanket floats in from another room and coats your ill child.
- >You notice that her horn is glowing, was it like that this whole time?
- >His shivering settles down.
- >"There you go Anon, nice and warm right?"
- >Anon gives a sleepy nod, his eyes barely open.
- >"I love you Nonny, sleep well" she coos as she pecks his lips, once this time.
- "Wow, that was... very motherly of you honey."
- >"Come on Bon Bon, who do you take me for?" she huffs and trots out of the room.
- >You lean down to kiss your son's sweaty forehead.
- >In so doing you get a whiff of the blanket.
- >It smells like...
- >OH sweet Celestia! This is her "fun times" blanket.
- >Your hooves go over your son's ears.
- "LYRA? SERIOUSLY?!"
- >You knock the door of your most unique patient.
- >You can hear voices somewhere in the house.
- >"You saw him! He liked the smell!"
- >"He's feverish and out of his mind damn it!"
- "Uh Hello!? Its Doctor Quadsai! I'm here to check on Anonymous!" you shout as you knock.
- >The sounds settle down and you can hear some hushed shouting, "Just sit there! Honestly Lyra!"
- >The door opens and the cream colored mare stands before you, her mane is slightly messy, as is her wife Lyra who's pouting behind her..
- >"Doctor! Thank you so much for coming on short notice. Anon is up here..."
- >You've looked over the sleeping giant and verify that his vitals seem only a little taxed.
- "Well, I can understand your concerns, but it is my professional opinion that he-"
- >"He's suffering from hypermarelustia? And he needs treatments day and night?"
- "W-what? No! That's not even a thing... what I was going to say is he nee-"
- >"Needs is tender hot loving care, that only mommy's pus-OW!"
- >Bon Bon plants a swift hoof into Lyra's flank.
- >You clear your throat.
- "What I was going to say is that all he needs..."
- >You and Bon Bon glare at Lyra.
- "Is just some rest and plenty of fluids."
- >"To be extracted from him?"
- >Sweet Celestia, does she believe in the aged therapy of bleeding?
- >"LYRA!"
- >"What?! I meant like sem- er, snot and stuff..."
- "He should try to keep as many of the logical fluids in as possible" you respond, glaring at the minty unicorn.
- "For the most part he seems to be reacting like any colt his age would to a bad cold, so just treat him that way."
- >"We will, thank you good doctor."
- >"Yes well-"
- >"Alright Nonny, Nurse Lyra is coming up to give you your sponge bath you dirty colt!" Lyra says as she ascends the stairs, now donning a nurse's outfit.
- >"Thanksforeverythinghaveagooddaybye" Bon Bon babbles as the door slams in your face.
- >You can hear more yelling inside.
- >"Lyra! Put that loofa down!"
- >"Why would I use a loofa to clean 'that'?"
- >Yeah... you're charging them double.
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