the chat so far

HealingTouch has logged on.

HealingTouch: Hello? Anyone actually here?
HealingTouch: No?

Colours_And_Mayhem has logged on.

HealingTouch: Who the-
Colours_And_Mayhem: sadfjhklljklgfdreojbcghjgyj
Colours_And_Mayhem: Incredible!
Colours_And_Mayhem: When I type on this typewriter, words show up in a square on this magic panel!
Colours_And_Mayhem: And when I press the new line button, it puts it into the bigger square with the rest of the words!
HealingTouch: ...Fascinating. You are... Miss Astra, yes?
Colours_And_Mayhem: The box knows my name! What is this magic?
HealingTouch: Ma'am? This is Spirit.
Colours_And_Mayhem: What? How did you get trapped in the magic panel? Does it run on souls? I must exorcize it immediately!
HealingTouch: What no it doesn't run on souls!
HealingTouch: That 'magic panel' is called a computer. This 'word box' is a chatroom on a thing called the internet, where millions of people with other computers can look up the entirety of worldly knowledge or talk with each other like this. I'm just in another room.
Colours_And_Mayhem: So... like a massive, infinite library?
HealingTouch: Sooort of...? Mostly people just use it to look at pictures of cats and fight with each other.
Colours_And_Mayhem: ...
HealingTouch: I never said it made sense.

Thrillseeker has logged on.

Thrillseeker: Is this the chat server I heard about?
Colours_And_Mayhem: Ah! Another person has logged on to this 'internet'! Look, I have mastered the art of this 'computer'! Now let us go adore felines and argue!
Thrillseeker: ...
HealingTouch: You're... Cameron, yes? Glad you got in okay.
HealingTouch: Sorry about this, Miss Astra is ah... a little new to the concept of the internet.
HealingTouch: And computers.
HealingTouch: And every technological advancement of the last 100 years.
Thrillseeker: Oh! Would you like me to teach you?
Colours_And_Mayhem: Why yes, I would very much like you to teach me about all these strange devices, I'm so confused...
Colours_And_Mayhem: Wait.
Colours_And_Mayhem: Cameron... that name sounds familiar.
Thrillseeker: We talked the other night, I believe.
Colours_And_Mayhem: Ah, yes, I had a question for you!
Thrillseeker: Lay it on me.
Colours_And_Mayhem: Yes, yes, I would very much like to 'lay it on you', as they say, were you thinking the same as I was?
Thrillseeker: ..............Are you proposing I have sex with you?
Colours_And_Mayhem: ...Was I not supposed to do that? Too soon?
Thrillseeker: At least take me out to dinner first!
HealingTouch: This is gold.

Down_To_Earth has logged on.

HealingTouch: Oh perfect
HealingTouch: Ila you got to listen in on this.
Down_To_Earth: I’m working.
HealingTouch: It pertains to your work.
Down_To_Earth: I’m listening.
Thrillseeker: Oh great, now we got an audience…
Colours_And_Mayhem: This “Down to Earth” internet person works with sex?
Down_To_Earth: You could say that.
Colours_And_Mayhem: Oh my… I had no idea such behaviour was openly practiced as a choice of profession nowadays.
Down_To_Earth: …It’s not that type of work.
HealingTouch: I’m pretty sure porn limericks weren’t widely accepted 100 years ago either.
Down_To_Earth: I beg to differ.
Down_To_Earth: I’m sure, if you look through Astra’s collection of books, you’ll find at least one dedicated to nothing but poems about sex.
HealingTouch: …Is this true Astra?

CelestialImperator has logged on.

Thrillseeker: Um maybe we should take it down a notch.
Thrillseeker: You know…
Colours_And_Mayhem: Well I can’t remember the author’s name but there was one rather scandalous book that I liked to keep in the back.
CelestialImperator: Um… is this a bad time?
Thrillseeker: Astra maybe you want to drop the subject.
HealingTouch: Not at all!
Colours_And_Mayhem: Why? Everyone was fine about it a minute ago.
Thrillseeker: Do you really want to talk about porn in front of the ruler of Heaven and Earth?
Colours_And_Mayhem: What?
CelestialImperator: Oh… I guess I don’t talk online much. I thought on here I should try and have an obvious user handle so something like this wouldn’t happen.
HealingTouch: Hi Ranthael.
Colours_And_Mayhem: EEEP!
Colours_And_Mayhem: Cameron make the box stop talking about sex!
Thrillseeker: You’re the one who’s doing that!
Down_To_Earth: Sorry sister, but the internet was made for sex and porn.
Colours_And_Mayhem: Really?
Colours_And_Mayhem: Ah! Now I feel dirty…
CelestialImperator: No it wasn’t…
Down_To_Earth: Really? You’re saying that the first person to upload a picture to the internet didn’t think “I could show the whole world my junk?”

LexiconOfDeath has logged on.

LexiconOfDeath: I keep hearing loud laughter down the hall what's going on
HealingTouch: Astra wants the booty.
Colours_And_Mayhem: What no
Colours_And_Mayhem: Cameron please make the box stop talking about sex!
Thrillseeker: Stop bringing it up!
CelestialImperator: Perhaps this /was/ a bad time...
Down_To_Earth: Okay guys, how does this one sound:
Thrillseeker: Oh, gods...
Down_To_Earth: This lovely young lady said hell no
To being fucked with a dragon dildo.
But her best friend persisted,
And fussed and insisted,
Until she bent over and- /hel-lo/
CelestialImperator: ...
LexiconOfDeath: I see I came in at just the right time.
Thrillseeker: That's it, I can't
HealingTouch: Brilliant, but I think I'd come up with a better rhyme for the end there.
Down_To_Earth: I'll keep it in mind.
Colours_And_Mayhem: Dear me... a dragon dildo? But dragons are massive
Thrillseeker: I think they're scaled down a bit...
Colours_And_Mayhem: I should hope so! Why, if you were to try to lay one you'd be split in half!
Down_To_Earth: Oh I'm sure there's people who jack off to that.
CelestialImperator: Okay can we get off this subject now!

JaxOfAllTrades has logged on.

JaxOfAllTrades: What about my Jack?
HealingTouch: Nothing, we're talking about masturbating.
Thrillseeker: No we're not!
JaxOfAllTrades: ...

JaxOfAllTrades has logged off.

LexiconOfDeath: ...Still have no idea how she does that.
CelestialImperator: If I were to wager a guess, reality warping.
HealingTouch: Let's just go with that.

SereneIceQueen has logged on.

SereneIceQueen: Hello all!
HealingTouch: Hello, ma'am.
Colours_And_Mayhem: Who is this 'ice queen', of which we speak? Have I the pleasure of meeting the Frost royalty?
SereneIceQueen: ...I'm sitting right next to you.
Colours_And_Mayhem: ...Oh.
Thrillseeker: Finally, a distraction...
SereneIceQueen: Distraction from what, may I ask?
Thrillseeker: Nothing! Never you mind, it was kind of
Thrillseeker: uh
Colours_And_Mayhem: Ah! That reminds me, do you know anywhere where I might take a fine lady such as this out to dinner, and perhaps afterward 'lay it on her', so to speak?
SereneIceQueen: ...Honey I don't know a hell of a lot about Existen culture but down here that's not exactly how things work.
CelestialImperator: I'm going to have to have a hell of a talk with Kerenza...
Colours_And_Mayhem: It's not? Then how do they work, will you teach me?

TimeShenanigans has logged on.

CelestialImperator: Oh dear god…
TimeShenanigans: Hello to you too.
SereneIceQueen: Well, you don’t go to dinner expecting to ‘lay it on her’ afterwards.
SereneIceQueen: I mean you can, but that’s something you agree upon after. And sometimes it takes more than one dinner.
SereneIceQueen: Sometimes it takes two dinners, or two dinners and a movie, or five dinners and three movies.
SereneIceQueen: Get to know each other first.
TimeShenangians: Wait you really have to do all this?
Colours_And_Mayhem: See what I mean?
TimeShenanigans: If you want to get down with it, then get down with it. Nothing shameful about that.
TimeShenanigans: At least that’s what Mom used to say.
CelestialImperator: No this is bad advice.
TimeShenanigans: Touch her butt!
CelestialImperator: Do not listen to this advice.
Down_To_Earth: I had no idea that the Gods were so free with their sexuality.
HealingTouch: You getting all this?
Down_To_Earth: This is making for some great material.
Colours_And_Mayhem: I don’t know… Sorry Miss Serene Queen of the Ice, but I think it would be best to follow the gods’ example.
CelestialImperator: No, I am a god and I say to follow Immortalia’s advice.
TmeShenanigans: Touch
TimeShenanigans: Her
TimeShenanigans: Butt
CelestialImperator: I give up

CelestialImperator has signed off.

SereneIceQueen: Oh dear… I think we broke Ranthael.
Colours_And_Mayhem: I’m still not quite sure what to do…
Thrillseeker: Do I get a say in this?
LexiconOfDeath: Geez I leave for one second and you scare off a god.
HealingTouch: Itsuki how would you have Astra ‘lay it on’ Cameron?
LexiconOfDeath: What? Why are you asking me?
HealingTouch: Tiebreaker.
HealingTouch: Ila and the Sorceress vote for butt touching
HealingTouch: Immortalia and Ranthael vote for taking it slow
Thrillseeker: /I/ vote for taking her out to dinner once and then seeing how we feel after that.
LexiconOfDeath: Well what about your vote Spirit?
Thrillseeker: I THINK MY VOTE’S THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS HERE!
HealingTouch: No no, I have to stay a neutral third party.
LexiconOfDeath: Um, well…
Thrillseeker: Nothing. Just nothing.

KnifeNut has logged on.

HealingTouch: Just in time we need your expert opinion on something!
KnifeNut: Ah, now? I was just checking in before I went on the nightly bar runs...
HealingTouch: No you don't understand it's important.
TimeShenanigans: I still say to just touch her butt.
KnifeNut: ...And apparently this involves butt touching.
Down_To_Earth: Lots of butt touching, if we're lucky.
Colours_And_Mayhem: I'm so unbelievably torn, you see...
Thrillseeker: I'm not why don't I get a say in this
SereneIceQueen: Oh for corn's sake, just get to know her first!
LexiconOfDeath: ...Corn?
SereneIceQueen: I picked it up from my sister shush
LexiconOfDeath: But... corn?
KnifeNut: OKAY. Tell me the situation and I'll tell you my 'expert opinion'.
HealingTouch: Astra here has the hots for Cameron there.
Colous_And_Mayhem: Hi.
Thrillseeker: *facepalm*
HealingTouch: Astra seems confused as to what she should do. To my understanding the plan was to take her to dinner, but then she didn't know whether to cut straight to the horizontal tango or to get to know her better.
KnifeNut: Uh-huh.
HealingTouch: We're kind of split down the middle here. Ila and that little gremlin there say to nail her, Ranthael and Immortalia say no don't do that. Gremlin adds to touch her butt.
TimeShenanigans: Hey who you callin' a gremlin
Thrillseeker: Oh my god.
HealingTouch: I want to stay a neutral third party, Itsuki hasn't cast her vote yet.
LexiconOfDeath: I'm kinda leaning toward getting to know her better, myself...
Down_To_Earth: Man you're no fun.
SereneIceQueen: Yess....
KnifeNut: ....I say touch her butt.
Thrillseeker: But what if I don't want her to touch my butt what if I want to just go to one dinner and see how I feel after that!
HealingTouch: So we're split again.
Thrillseeker: You know, I would just leave now, but.
Thrillseeker: Morbid curiosity begs that I stay to see how this turns out.
KnifeNut: Right, on that note, bar crawling time. Cheers.

KnifeNut has logged off.

HealingTouch: ...Hmmm.
HealingTouch: This is a dilemma.
TimeShenanigans: I'm just gonna offer some advice that my Ma used to give to my sister and I.
TimeShenanigans: 'Ain't nuttin' wrong wit' a little bump n' grind'.
TimeShenanigans: I might be getting the accent slightly wrong.
Down_To_Earth: We need a tiebreaker vote.
LexiconOfDeath: But she can get the bump n' grind after she gets to know her!
TimeShenanigans: But then she also doesn't get rid of the raging stiffie and trust me, that is ungodly frustrating to the highest degree.
Thrillseeker: Okay, I put my vote in with Itsuki, does that count?
HealingTouch: No it doesn't you're biased!
Thrillseeker: Of course.
HealingTouch: What we need is someone unrelated.