Paraquestia

>Your eyes slowly adjust to the light as you start to open them, your nose taking in a wonderful scent of early summer
>You feel yourself being suspended from something
>Looking down you find you're still in your white harness wearing most of your 100 pounds of gear
>M1 attached to your side in a Griswold Bag
>Boots dangling over a patch of grass with your back held up against something leafy
Ahhh god dammit.
>Definitely in a tree
>You look around at the bright open meadow
>Birds singing, animals scurrying about, everything's...really fucking vibrant.
>Training suddenly kicks in
>You swing your legs back to try and get a foothold on a branch or something
>Instead it slams into an open window sill
Is this...Is this a house?
>You hang onto your risers and try to swing yourself into a better position, unable to see what your canopy is hung up on
Gahhhh fuck this~
>Freeze
>Hear clumping footsteps...jackboots?
>Your legs dangling in the window
>A high pitched scream rips through the air, causing you to panic
>Canopy suddenly comes loose
SHhiiuuuut!
>You hesitate...before suddenly plummeting like a fucking rock
>Catch a glimpse of yellow and pink as you zip past the window and slam into a shrubbery below
Ughhhhh~
Can continue if desired
if not, fuck it
>Immediately jump up and flail yourself out of your canopy
>Hear more heavy footsteps from the house
>Throw off your harness and Mae West like they're on fire
>Tear out your M1 and haul ass out of there like Jesse fucking Owens
Jesus christ, I gotta find someone.
>Find the nearest road and start following it, staying in the ditch on the side
>look for road signs, mile markers, landmarks
>nothing matches the sand tables and maps you memorized
>Nothing looks right
>The early morning sun beats down as you trudge along, lugging your M1 and all that gear
>That mornings events, the jump, the preparations, everything starts to come back to you
>Get lost in thought
>The morning silence is pierced by a feint clopping
>hooves slamming into a dirt road, creaky wagon wheels following
Shit, shitshit
>Outnumbered, outgunned, you crouch in the ditch
>wagon draws closer and closer, the hooves and wheels getting louder
If this is a patrol, I'm screwed
If this is a farmer, I'm....not as bad off
>You grip your rifle and get ready
>It's right on top of you
>Leap up from the ditch and swing your rifle around, glaring down the sights
FREEZE! HOLD UP!
WOAH NELLY!
>The horse rears up in front, flashing a bring orange color
>No rider, no krauts
>Just two big green eyes staring right back at you down the length of your rifle
>Adrenaline pulses through, making you shake, unable to move

will continue tomorrow if desired
Fuck if I knew how this was going to go over dude!
I appreciate the interest though, thank you


Alright, here we go chilluns

>You slowly lower your M1 to your hip, keeping an eye on the confused orange horse as it's huge eyes scanned you up and down
>What the fuck was this thing?
>Short, maybe 4 foot 5
>Enormous head
>Huge fucking eyes
>Orange body, wearing a hat, a ponytail, and... apple markings on it's ass?
>"W-what are you?"
>Oh, and it talks.
What am I? What the hell are you!?
>You both back up in shock, your M1 still pointed in her direction.
>"Shoot, Ain't ya ever seen a pony before?" The Orange pony gives a confused look, taking a defensive, and almost insulted, stance
>Pony? This wasn't a pony.
"Well, of course I have! But they're taller, don't talk, and...! "
>You could go on, but the immense weight of futility just hits you like a pile of bricks
>Let out an exasperated sigh, giving an almost defeated look
"Look. Where in the name of God am I?"
>"On the outskirts of ponyville.... You're not from around here are ya?"
>Ponyville? Seriously?
>You reply with a confused look, alternating between starting a word, then sighing, looking at the open fields and trees around you on this open dirt road
"Wh- ... I- No. I'm not from around here. I'm..."
>Not even sure what to say. You drop your shoulders as despair suddenly set in
>This wasn't how this morning was supposed to go, you planned for this for months! Training, memorizing, practicing every single aspect.
>Fuck it. Just fuck it .
>"Do y'all need any help?"
>Orangepone seemed to notice something was up, and that thick southern drawl never ceased to surprise you
>You turn back to her, hoping to try and say something that makes sense
"I don't know. I don't know where I am, I'm definitely not from around here, I don't really remember much of this morning, and all I know is I need to get back to where I was, can you help with that?"
>The Orange equine gave a concerned look before giving some thought, could this actually work?
>"Hmmmm...Na. but I think I do know somepony who can!"
>A little sliver of hope seems to just kinda creep in there, lifting your mood just a bit
"You do?"
>"Sure! But she's in town. I can give y'all a ride there, you seem harmless enough"
>She chuckled, making you give a self conscious smirk
>You did look pretty menacing: Tall brown boots, baggy uniform with each pocket stuffed with equipment, a long M1 rifle, grenades, knives, gas mask bag, ammunition, TNT/Demo gear, gloves, helmet, all topped off by your face smeared jet black with grease paint.
>Despite all this, you nod. This is your only option at this point
"Okay...yeah, yeah that would be great. Ahh, thanks."
>rub the back of your neck, stretching it a bit
>"I'm Applejack"
>She holds out a hoof, smiling
>Look down at it before grasping it in your gloved hand and shaking
"Ahh Scovich. PFC Martin Scovich, 82nd Airborne."
>"Pleased to meet ya Martin"
>You smile in return as she seemed to be trying to make sense of the other stuff attached to your name

Let me know what you guys have any critiques anytime
Eh, Private Anon didn't have the same ring to it
Although that would make for a good cartoon character

>"Well, Hop on I'll give ya a lift! Just be careful of the apples"
>AJ nodded to the cart. Lo and behold, it was stuffed to the gunnels with apples. Baskets of apples. Big baskets of apples.
>You give a small shrug before tossing your rifle on top, putting your foot on a leaf spring, and hopping on top, trying not to bruise any produce
>And she started to pull, sending you both along down the road in one of the most eventful mornings you've had since you even joined the service.
>They didn't teach you anything about this back in basic.
>Your train of thought was interrupted by a southern accent
>"So...what are you anyway? And why are you covered in all that...stuff"
>That's a new question "What are you?" Almost has an existential ring to it
"Well, ah, I'm a Human..."
>...
>"What's that?"
>Good lord, you are lost
"Well, we're....us. I mean, we're..."
>You can't even answer that! How in the hell do you try and describe a human, while being a human, to someone who's just met their first human?
"I....Okay, it's like...Think of me, but everyone on my planet looks like me. Well, not exactly like me, but....you get the picture. We're all like this, but different sizes and colors and there's girls
>Best to stop rambling
>"Ooh I get it, so, y'all are like us ponies, but you look like...you."
>Is that right? Yeah that...sounds right?
"Yeahh...yeah something like that."
>"So...why are y'all dressed like that?"
>This turned into a harder discussion.
>Everything you said as an explanation was suddenly countered by a question that opened up an even broader lack of understanding
"Well, I'm a paratrooper"
>"What's that?"
"Ahh, I'm in the Army and I jump out of planes"
>"What are planes?"
"Planes! like...flying machines?"
>"...you mean like a hot air balloon or them crazy contraptions you see them stunt ponies build?"
"Sort of? But...they're really big, like a big metal tube with two engines and wings"
>This was like describing a C-47 to a horse! Oh wait...
>The conversation dragged on like a trading deal
>Easy questions like: Why do the ponies talk? And: what's ponyville?
>To hard questions like: Why do the ponies talk? And: Can you please explain again where I am?
>In return you provide information to the chipper farm pony about your own life
>Everything from home, to the war, to the invasion, to Fox company, to 1st platoon, to the strange light you saw launch towards you on the jump, to what a gun was
>"So, okay, hold on. The 'round' has somethin' flammable in it."
"Uh-huh"
>"And you put it in the gun"
"Uh-huh"
>"And when you pull the trigger, it lights the flammable stuff"
"Uh-huh"
>"and shoots out the metal thing"
"Uh-huh"
>"And you use them in wars n' stuff?"
"Yeah"
>"....Huh."
>That was it, no other comment on one of the most influential inventions in human history
>Huh.
>You ride on, chatting about this and that, before your conversation was suddenly interrupted by voice cracks from above
>"Lookout Applejack!"
>"What? Rainbow don't-!"
>You turn your head in confusion before you suddenly feel yourself get hit by 130 pounds going pretty darn fast
>Before you even knew what happened pinned on the ground wheezing, the wind knocked out of your lungs, struggling to get up
>"This thing was trying to sneak up on you! Good thing I was up top keeping an eye on things!
>"Rainbow-"
>"Nono, You're welcome!"
>"RAINBOW!"
Anyway...

>You cough and roll to the side a bit as you try to collect your wits. And your lungs
>You see light, cerulean blue hooves on either shoulder, feeling the occasional shifting weight.
>"What!"
>"Will you get off him? I was giving him a lift into town!"
>"You were what!?"
>You grab the blue pony by the shoulders in return and swing it to the side, slamming it into the ground a bit
"Get. Off!"
>"OOF!"
>Slowly get up and stumble, brushing yourself off and putting your helmet back on, the leather chincup dangling to the side.
>Applehorse comes towards you, the big cart trailing behind
>"Sorry about all that, She's a bit...impulsive. Y'all alright?"
>You look down at the blue pony, only to find that she's hovering right next to you.
"Woah! what the fuck!?"
>Jump to the side a bit, looking the blue flying equine up and down
"Y-you can fly?"
>This seemed to please it, as if you could feel her ego swelling. She brushed her prismacolored hair to the side, almost forgetting anything that had happened before
>"Of course I can! Only the best flier around!"
>Jesus her voice likes to crack.
>"Watch this!"
>She suddenly shoots up, but then is immediately halted by applejack holding onto her tail with her teeth
>"ACK! Hey!"
>"Hold on there! We don't have time for an airshow , we really need to get into town."
>AJ seems rather annoyed at all this. Something tells you this bickering occurs on a regular basis.
>The blue one sighs and rolls her eyes before turning back to you
>"I'm Rainbow Dash"
>She proudly holds out a hoof, grinning almost triumphantly
>Only expression you can give is an interested smirk, shaking her hoof
"PFC Martin Scovich, 82nd Airborne"
>"82nd wha-who?"
>Oh boy
>You turn and hop back on the wagon, prompting AJ to continue on and Rainbow to flap along, keeping pace right with you
>The conversation suddenly becomes a repeat of earlier, but this time talking with an overexcited motormouth who loves to hear herself talk
>"So wait, you jump out of the air, then land and fight bad guys?"
>You nod, feeling your own ego starting to boost a little
>"That is SWEET! Have you fought anyone yet? Oh! what's the hardest battle you've fought in! Did you go on any cool adventures? Do you know any cool fighting skills?"
>She actually punctuated the last one with a kick and a karate chop
>AJ was giving an exasperated sigh, but you couldn't help but chuckle at the whole display of this firecracker.
>You almost felt kinda bad having to let her down
"Ah, no. I mean, I haven't been in combat yet. Like I said, I barely got out of the plane before I ended up here"
>She definitely looked disappointed "Oh...Well when are you gonna get to fight them? Are you gonna gonna use your rifle thing? How did they teach you to fight? Know any cool skills? Maaaybe some I could learn?"
>She just won't stop!
>You and AJ almost sigh at the same time as the cart creaks along, the rocks crunching below as you pass a sign saying "PONYVILLE" in carved letters.

>As the cart pulled into town, passing the first few buildings, it brought more than just a few stares
>You start to get an uneasy feeling as practically every pony you passed glared in curiosity, confusion, and a bit of worry as you were toured through.
>Oh the other hand, look at all the ponies!
>Flying ones, horn ones, male, female, little kids, all doing daily activities
>It was...almost homelike, aside from the thatched roofs and overpopulation of equines.
>The cart halts at a huge building at a split in the road.
>A huge,colorful, gingerbread house, straight outta hansel and grettel!
>You admire the colorful detailed novelty building before overhearing a conversation coming from inside
>"PInkie Pie, pah-leese be careful! I don't want that icing getting anywhere near my mane!"
>"Don't worry rarity, I use this stuff for shampoo All the time! Heehee! *SNort!*"
>you start to get lost in the view of the town.
>The sun shined bright over the quaint village of colorful tudor houses with thatched roofs, a light flowery breeze keeping things pleasant.
>Your ears take in the sound of hooves hitting along the ground, a few fillies playing around a house, carts creaking, and everyday conversations.
>It was all rather surreal
>Your moment of peaceful reflection was suddenly interrupted
>"Uh, Martin? Ah hate to ask this of y'all, but could you help bring these apples in to Pinkie?"
>It's like KP duty never leaves
"Oh, ah, yeah sure"
>Least you could do, they were helping out after all
>You lift up the basket of apples, about 20 pounds worth, and haul them inside
>As soon as you go through the waist-high door, your nose was immediately assaulted with the smell of baked goods and candy. Like...holy shit
>After having been so far removed from baked goods on this scale, it was just about overwhelming.
>Looking over the pile of apples you find a white pony with a purple mane, and a pink pony wearing cotton candy on her head just staring at you, the pink one holding a silver bowl of icing and a wooden spoon
>"Uuhggghh! What is that thing?"
>The white one gives an exaggerated look of disgust, letting out a pretty heavy transatlantic accent
>You grunt slightly and roll your eyes before setting the apples down with a thud
>The millisecond they hit the ground, you suddenly find a big pink nose pushed right up against yours, two enormous blue eyes glaring right at you.
>Her head was so big you couldn't even see anything else.
>"And just WHOOOOOO Are you!?"
>The question was high pitched, squeaky, exaggerated, and rather interrogative
>"Pinkie pie!"
>AJ again, thank god
>You put a hand on the pink ponies chest trying to push her off, instead just pushing her up on her hind hooves as she glances over at Applejack in the door, a basket of apples on her back
>"Ah picked him up on the road, he ain't from around here"
>"Ugh, how could you pick up random drifters like that? You don't even know what he is! And those clothes are positively horrid!"
>You're about to kick the white one at this point
>"Rarity, don't you have a mane to brush or something?"
>She scoffs at the comment and rolls her eyes in an incredibly dramatic manner
>"WAIT!"
>Pink pony has the floor again, oh goody.
>"If he's new here, then maybe he doesn't have any friends!"
>This bitch serious?
>AJ holds her hoof up as if about to stop her, but a look of futility suddenly comes over her as she bites her tongue
>That doesn't seem good
>"And that means he's probably so lonely! Maybe he's been walking for days, just looking for someone to be his friend, but he can't find anyone, he just continues to trudge on, hoping that somepony, somewhere, will take him into their hooves and prove that someone cares...!"
>This is where it started to get straight up comical
>Throughout her entire monologue, the pink pony seemed to be acting it out while climbing up on you, almost wrapped around your head
>You struggle to get her off at first before deciding to let her finish
>Her dramatic monologue suddenly cut short, like her brain shifted gears or something. Like, you could literally hear gears changing
>Pinkie's reply was to suddenly grab your helmet out of your hands, plop it on her head (More like on her mane actually), and give a commanding, stare off into the distance
>"He must have a party."
>Both Rarity and Applejack glance at each other knowingly
"N-no I don't think that's entirely necessar-"
>"Of course it's necessary! How else are you gonna make friends!? Waiiiiittt~"
>More gear shifting
"Who the hell is this anyway?"
>Before anyone could answer pinkie grabs you by the collar with her hooves
>"I need your opinion!"
>Like a pink streak leading back to the kitchen she was gone, leaving a rush of air and a few fluttering papers behind her
>Fast as she left, she was back, this time grabbing you and sitting you down in a chair
"Oof! what the?"
>"A party's not a party without a cake! Now: This one is pumpkincarrotapplecrumble aaaand THIS one is redvelvetrainbowrifficchocolatefudgecicle! Which one do you want!?"
>Which one do you want? You don't even know what the hell just happened! Much less how she was able to cram that many words together that fast, or what even was in those two cakes
>"pumpkincarrotapplecrumble?"
"HMMPHH!"
>One full slice, crammed right in your mouth
"RMmphhmPHMmphh!!"
>"ooOOOOoorrr redvelvetrainbowrifficchocolatefudgecicle!?"
>"Wait! Pinkie pie!"
>"What in the wide world of Equestria is going on here!?"
>That was a new voice! You look over to see Rainbow fluttering in the doorway, eyes wide, with a horned purple pony standing below her, sporting a similar expression.
>It was probably a bit of a sight: You in a chair, covered in your invasion loadout, face painted black, with cake stuffed in your cheeks. A pink pony holding onto your chest with one hoof and readying an assault of redvelvetrainbowrifficchocolatefudgecicle in the other, her tail being tugged on by Applejack. All three of you giving the new pony a "This isn't what it looks like" Stare
>"This isn't what it looks like..."
>The situation started to unravel immediately: AJ let go of pinkie, pinkie stepped down, you lean to the side and just spit out a huge wad of cake
"PLahh Ughhh..."
>The purple pony steps forward "You found him on the road?"
>AJ nods in reply as you prop yourself back up in the chair
>The purple pony started to take immediate interest in you, looking you up and down intently like she like you were the most interesting part of her day.
>"This...this is amazing!"
>All of them seemed to look to her intently for an explanation
>"Well what is he Twi?"
>"Yeah! who the heck is this guy?"
>She gave another look at you before stepping back
>"He's...a human! Oh let's do this at the library, there's a better explanation in the book."
>All 5 ponies start heading out the door, almost as if this seemed to be a regular occurrence
>Rainbow flapped by, muttering something
>"It's always in a book"
>You follow along, realizing that it's probably best to do whatever they were doing.
>When in Rome, blah blah blah
>You walk along as all the ponies kept prodding Twilight with questions.
>She seemed to be the local know it all of the bunch, and almost quasi-leader possibly
>Towering over them and keeping as tail-end-charlie, you take notice of how they act
>Applejack seems like a voice of reason
>Rainbow's agressive, but...kinda cute when she's all excited
>Rarity's...She might take some getting used to
>Pinkie's funny, but then also off her rocker to the point of being scary
>And this Twilight character
>Interesting little bunch here really
>You continue on before coming up to a huge oak tree, decked out with windows, doors, a porch, and all the comforts of home
>A big carved sign out front reads "Golden Oak Library"
>Wonder where they came up with the name?
>Twilight immediately starts going for the bookshelf the minute you all enter the door
>The entire place is well lit, and is a strange smell of a well kept home, antique wood, and old books
>A lot of old books
>Taking it all in, you started to feel like the wild animal sitting in the room while everyone else acted like you couldn't here them
>Twi continued with her explanations while seemingly searching for a book
>"Humans were just an obscure legend, a mythical creature that only a few had ever claimed to see!"
>Mythical creature? Obscure legend? Each description makes you feel farther and farther away from home.
>"Ah here we go~"
>You suddenly do a double take at what happens
>Twilight's horn suddenly starts glowing with this weird aura
>Your gaze at what was going on with her horn was only broken by watching a big green book enveloped in the same sparkling aura hovering in mid air and floating towards the unicorn
>"The Big Book of Mythical Creatures"
>Dumbfounded, mouth agape like an idiot
"What in thee fuck!"
>They all look at you immediately, looking rather confused
>"That's what I was gonna tell you Twi, I don't think he's ever seen magic before!"
>AJ looked concerned as Twi blinked and suddenly flipped through the book for a better explanation
>"Humans, Humans, Humans- Ah here we go! 'a tall mythical creature with only a handful of recorded sightings. They are bipedal, incredibly tall and lanky, have no fur, and have long, incredibly dexterous appendages on the end of their arms. Humans are incredibly curious and intuitive, quick to investigate something strange, but also incredibly dangerous."
>You shuffle your feet at the last description as all 5 sloooowly started to look at you
>You could cut the awkward silence with a knife
"Huh.....well that, um, whoever wrote that... sheesh, get a load of that guy! right? "