Roommates, Rivals, Romance (ch3)

EARLY RELEASE FOR MY $50+ PATRONS!

Disclaimer: I do not own Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight.

---------

												Chapter 3. The Photoshoot

Thankfully, Claudine wakes the next morning feeling much better than she'd felt when going to bed last night. She's managed to push her worries about the scandal to the back of her mind for now and focus on today's festival.

Maya wakes with her, and is also glad to notice her roommate is feeling better.

They have breakfast together, though Claudine still heads out ahead of her, and Maya follows a little later.

When she gets to the studio, it's much livelier than it is on any normal day. There are people bustling around making preparations to travel and bring equipment to the festival, which is being held at a park in the middle of town.

Claudine changes and begins her morning practice as always, and Maya and the rest of the girls filter in little by little. When they've all assembled, they do another run-through of the number they'll be performing today, "Fly Me to the Star." It's a slower, more relaxing song, probably the most calming one they have so far. It was their best option, considering they'd be the act closing out the festivities, so people will want something to wind down to after the day full of events and energy.

But this song involves the girls to sing in their respective partnerships, in addition to a few individual lines. And with yesterday's incident, they'd wondered if they would have to change songs for this and do a piece they all sing together. The fear was that breaking them into their partnerships - especially Maya and Claudine - would only highlight the scandal in the fans' eyes.

But in an effort to ignore the media, as Ms. Sakuragi had advised them to do, they'd elected to roll with what they'd originally planned.

The festival begins at noon, but the Starlight Girls aren't scheduled to perform until it ends around 5PM. Unfortunately, they can't join in the festivities before that because they don't want people to recognize them and draw too much attention. Under normal circumstances, they probably could, but they don't want to risk anything with this scandal hanging over them right now. Now that the idea of the idols potentially dating one another is in the fans' heads, seeing any of them in pairs together off-stage could set something off.

So they lay low at their studio for most of the day, reviewing anything and everything until it's finally time to change into their performing outfits and load onto the bus.

The whole town is covered in posters and banners, and several streets have been closed off to deter traffic from the festival area. There are hundreds of people gathered at and around the park, which is full of food stalls, games stands, and a giant stage. The bus is allowed access to one of the closed streets and rolls toward the venue. All nine girls marvel at the sights and smells of the festival.

"Wow!" Karen presses her face right up against the window. "This looks like so much fun!"'

"Karen-chan, you're going to ruin your makeup!" Mahiru frets. "Ah! Is that a Suzudaru Cat plush they're giving away as a prize?"

"There's a Mr. White one, too," Hikari says.

"Man," Futaba sighs. "If only we were allowed to play some of those games. I'd cream every last one of you in those squirt gun races."

"Oh, I don't know about that, Futaba-chan," Nana grins. "Junna-chan is a master marksman. She's got pretty good aim."

"Oh yeah," Junna says. "That, and the balloon darts. I'd win every time, hands down."

"Izzat so?"

"Now, now, Futaba-han, no brawling before our performance, please."

As the bus rumbles to a halt, the girls wait for their manager to walk off first and get everything ready for them. The idols continue chatting, though Claudine can't find much to talk about. Ever the one to keep an eye on her, Maya taps her shoulder, keeping her voice low.

"Are you all right?"

Claudine gives herself a shake and tosses her hair back over her shoulder.

"What are you talking about? Of course I am. You don't have to babysit me, you know."

In spite of her fiery response, Maya smiles. She's glad Claudine is acting like her usual self.

"But of course. Let us give the audience a wonderful show."

"More than wonderful," Claudine corrects her. "Divine."

"I do like the sound of that."

At last, they're called off the bus and make their way to the back of the stage. As they're announced and welcomed to the close of the festival, the idols take their places.

Being that this isn't one of their concerts, the audience isn't composed of only their fans. About half of the people watching are passerby and people who don't know much or anything about the Starlight Girls. But as she takes her place between Maya and Mahiru, Claudine can easily spot dozens of their fans wearing t-shirts, hats, and other Starlight merch.

And even with half the audience not being loyal fans, they still receive an impressive welcoming applause.

As the music starts, the girls fall into formation. Their movements are slow and calm to match the tune and lyrics. Claudine has always imagined this song as being sung back and forth between two birds who are cruising freely through the sky up to the heavens.

The girls rotate positions to put the ones singing at the center of the group. Karen and Hikari sing the first few lines back and forth, and then Mahiru joins in. The trio receives a soft applause from their fans in the crowd.

Next, Futaba and Kaoruko sing to one another, and they get a similar response.

For the chorus, all nine girls sing together, and then it's Nana and Junna's turn. Their applause is about the same as the others'.

But when Claudine and Maya step close together to begin their lines in the verse, the audience rises up into boisterous cheers. The two of them try not to let their surprise show as they circle around one another, raising their arms up together slowly before taking each other's hands. Another chorus of squeals and shouts goes up when they touch, and then stand back-to-back against each other.

All nine of them sing the end of the song together and step back into their trademark positions before striking their final poses with their arms raised toward the sky. As the music fades, the idols take a collective bow.

And then the audience erupts with applause. It's much more than Claudine would've expected from a crowd that isn't completely biased toward the group.

As is standard, they hold a little speaking session at the end. Maya, being center, starts things off.

"Good evening, everyone. We hope you all had a wonderful time today at the festival."

"It looked suuuper fun!" Karen blurts out. "Who tried those funnel cakes? They smelled delicious!"

The audience laughs and a bunch of people raise their hands and call out.

Junna steps in, poking Karen in the shoulder.

"You know, I'm sure if you asked her nicely, Nana would make you a banana funnel cake."

"Really? Would you, Banana?"

"Of course!"

"My, my," Kaoruko sighs. "It's always food with you, Karen-han. You're like a little kid."

"Says the one who was practically fawning over the stuffed animal prizes," Futaba says.

"Wh- Hey! That wasn't me!"

"Maybe you didn't say it, but I could see it in your eyes."

"Now, now," Mahiru says, stepping in to pacify them. "There's nothing wrong with liking stuffed animals. Hikari-can and I have a bunch, don't we, Hikari-chan?"

"Yeah," Hikari nods. "I really like the one of Mr. White that Karen got for me."

"Ah," Claudine chimes. "That one she got for you before our first concert to help you calm down. I remember that."

"Yeah." Hikari smiles, and a murmur of affection ripples through the crowd. With their time now over, Claudine wraps up their little conversation.

"Well then, everyone, thank you very much for coming out to the festival today and staying until the very end to see us. Starlight Girls will be holding a full concert in a few weeks, so you can check our website or social media pages for more information on that. Enjoy the rest of your evening!"

When she finishes speaking, all nine girls step up and link hands, then take a bow together. The crowd cheers again and the fans chant an array of their names before the idols finally file off.

Ms. Sakuragi and the rest of the staff congratulate them, and the girls are taken out to dinner at a reserved restaurant. They all enjoy themselves, spending nearly 2 hours laughing and chatting and eating together.

By the time Claudine and Maya finally arrive home to their apartment, it's only 10PM, but it feels like 3 in the morning. They retreat to the bedroom together, still surrounded by the feel-good vibes.

And for the first time in the last two days, all thoughts of the scandal are completely absent from Claudine's mind.

The next morning, she wakes to her alarm, not to the feeling of Maya prodding her awake to show her some troubling social media feed, so Claudine can already say that's a good start.

The day after a performance, she always gets out of bed a little more carefully than usual, as she knows Maya tends to sleep in a bit longer those mornings.

But today, Maya stirs before Claudine has even finished making her side of the bed. With a groggy moan, Maya rolls over to look up at her with sleepy eyes, and Claudine pouts.

"Sorry. I wasn't trying to wake you…"

"You didn't," Maya assures her, her voice cracking slightly.

"You'd better do some vocal warm-ups," Claudine advises her. "I'll start on breakfast."

She prepares eggs and toast for them, and they eat together before taking turns in the bathroom. Claudine is eager to head out first as always, but this morning Maya insists on coming with her. Claudine narrows her eyes.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she grumbles, tying her hair into a ponytail in an effort to alter her appearance a bit. "Like I said, especially with all those comments going around online-"

"It will be all right," Maya says, tying her hair back as well.

"I'd like to know where you're getting all that confidence on the matter from."

"Call it intuition."

"You're so annoying."

Claudine grabs her bag, pulls her sweatshirt's hood up, and heads for the door. Maya follows, looking like a child who'd persuaded their parent into buying them a treat.

But as she'd predicted, nothing goes awry this morning on their way to the studio. They change in the locker room, take their hair down, and head to the studio to begin stretching.

A little while later the staff and the rest of the girls begin showing up, but Ms. Sakuragi doesn't come in until nearly an hour later. The girls are in the middle of reviewing some new choreography when their manager shows up in the doorway with her phone in her hand. The girls notice her simultaneously and pause in their steps to greet her.

"Morning," she says quickly. "So I know we didn't originally have anything scheduled for today, but there's been a change of plans."

The girls turn down the music and gather around their manager curiously.

"Oooooh!" Karen says. "Is that why you were late today, Sensei? Were you making important business calls and stuff?"

Ms. Sakuragi rolls her eyes and sighs.

"Yes, Aijou. Brilliant, world-class detective skills you've got there."

"Ehee hee~"

The girls have a good laugh at Karen's antics before their manager continues.

"Right, as I was saying. We're going to be having an impromptu photoshoot this afternoon."

An excited little murmur goes through the girls.

"Ooh! A photoshoot sounds fun!"

"We haven't had one in a couple of weeks."

"I need to brush my hair-"

"What's the occasion?"

Ms. Sakuragi nods to acknowledge Futaba's question.

"Well, you see. That little so-called "scandal" from a few days back…" She glances at Claudine, but her eyes aren't upset or unkind. "It sort of... stirred something up within the fanbase. It's actually something that we would've encountered sooner or later, so we might as well make use of it now."

"Make use of it?" Claudine tilts her head. "Use the scandal to our advantage?"

Ms. Sakuragi nods. "Exactly. As you all know, our industry revolves entirely around you girls. Your singing, your dancing, your appearances, your relationships - not only with the fans, but with each other. And that last one's always been a major factor, but it's become a particularly hot topic now. So I made a few calls and had a few meetings, and it looks like it's a unanimous opinion that we should start catering to the fans a bit more in that department."

"Catering…?" Karen tilts her head. "Like food?"

"Not like that," Mahiru whispers. "In this case, it means giving the fans what they want, Karen-chan."

"Oh!"

"Right," their manager says. "More specifically, it's called 'pandering.' The fans all have a favorite combination of you girls that they want to see more of, and if we give them what they want in content, videos, and merchandise, it really helps with the funds."

"Wait, so you're using us? For money?!" Karen wails dramatically.

"Uh, yeah," Futaba grunts. "How else are they gonna maintain the business? You're a worker and this is your job."

"And besides," Junna says reasonably. "You get a portion of the money you make, remember?"

"Oh, yeah… Sorry! Continue!"

"Thanks for the permission, Aijou." Ms. Sakuragi heaves another sigh. "In any case, it really showed in yesterday's performance that the crowd likes seeing you guys in certain pairings or groups, so we're holding a photoshoot later today to cater to those demands. We'll be doing individual shots, group shots, and partner shots. I'm sure you guys can already figure out the most popular 'pairings,' right?"

All of the girls naturally look to their respective roommates. When Claudine locks eyes with Maya, her heart does that fluttering thing again. It's probably out of annoyance, though. Probably.

"Yes," Ms. Sakuragi nods, to them specifically. "Especially you two. That little 'scandal' article might've caused a bit of unrest at first, but actually the response to the idea of you two potentially being 'romantically-involved' was overwhelmingly positive."

"W-Wait!" Karen blurts out, waving her hands frantically. "Does this mean Kuro-chan and Maya-chan are gonna start dating now?"

"Hah?!" Claudine chokes. "What nonsense are you spouting, Karen?"

"I don't think that's how this works, Aijou-san," Maya says, equally as quickly.

Ms. Sakuragi sighs again and puts a hand on Karen's shoulder like a person restraining and excited dog.

"No, Aijou. No one is actually going to start dating. Pandering is for the fans to enjoy the characters or personas you guys act out on stage."

"…Huh?"

Everyone groans and shakes their heads.

"It's not real romance, Karen-chan," Mahiru explains. "It's just pretend."

"If it makes the fans happy," Hikari says. "We get more popularity, more money, and we can do more things."

"Having us date for real," Kaoruko scoffs. "Now that would be scandalous."

"I don't think they can make us date anyway," Futaba says.

"Pandering-" Junna explains, "-is common with most idol groups, and even celebrities and movie actors, too. The fans like the idea of two celebrities being 'together,' but generally most of them understand it isn't real."

"Ohhhh!" Karen nods. "Yeah, I know about that! I liked a lot of my favorite idols together when I was in middle school!"

"Right," Nana chimes in. "But no one should ever support or 'ship' the real people together if they aren't actually in an official, publicized romantic relationship!"

"Oh yeah, no I never did that!" Karen makes a face. "That'd just be creepy."

As everyone else chatters excitedly about the prospect of the groups' new tactics, Claudine and Maya remain quiet. They both know they're one of the biggest 'pairs' the fans support and want to see, but they aren't exactly sure what this pandering is going to entail.

Ms. Sakuragi must sense their uncertainty, because she gets everyone's attention again to speak.

"Don't worry. This isn't going to be an explicit pinup shoot. You won't have to do anything too crazy. Just sitting next to each other or making certain expressions will suffice. It'll be easy, being you're actresses and all, right?"

"Yeah!"

"This'll be fun!"

"And different from the usual."

"What kind of shoot is it going to be?" Hikari asks. "Are we traveling?"

Ms. Sakuragi shakes her head.

"We decided to keep it local and simple. After all, we've got a pool in this building, and what better photoshoot to pander to the fans with than swimsuits?"

A chorus of squeals rises up.

"Oh boy! A pool shoot!"

"I wonder what the swimsuits are gonna look like?"

"This is gonna be such a fun day!"

But again, in spite of everyone else's enthusiasm, Claudine can only manage a thin smile. The mention of all this - ship pandering and photoshoots and relationships - has made her chest start to feel tight. Her heart's started to pound too, and she can't tell if it feels more excited or distressed.

Maya is grinning like the rest of them, but she hasn't said anything either. But when she meets Claudine's eyes, her smile only brightens. Claudine jolts and looks away without thinking.

With the news of the photoshoot on their minds now, the rest of the morning training goes by quickly. The girls have lunch in the break room and then head to the prep rooms to get their hair and makeup done. Once that's all finished, they head down to the pool area's restroom and get changed into the bathing suits they'd been provided with by the staff.

They'd all been given pieces that suit their styles and are in their idol colors: Karen gets a red two-piece with frills, Hikari's blue one is a bit more formal, Mahiru's green bikini comes with a short matching skirt, Nana's yellow one has tiny bananas on it, Junna's teal set has a bikini top and skirt, Futaba's purple set mimics a sports bra and waterproof shorts, and Kaoruko's pink one-piece dress is flowy and frilly.

Claudine finds herself with an orange bikini set, the top piece being checkered with white. Maya's bikini set is all white, but hers comes with a long transparent skirt around the waistline.

As soon as they're all dressed and ready, they move out to the pool area, where several of the staff have already started setting up cameras and other equipment. As they wait for instructions, Nana poses a question to their manager.

"Sensei. Before you'd said that we all have personas, right? What exactly are they?"

"Well actually," she replies. "It's probably easier to think about it in terms of tropes."

"Troupes…?" Karen says.

"No, Karen-chan," Mahiru sighs. "That's like the circus."

"Right," Ms. Sakuragi continues. "Tropes are popular, overused storylines that everyone's come across a dozen times before. But they're familiar, and the fans latch onto that kinda stuff to make connections. For example, since Hanayagi and Isurugi have known each other the longest, the fans have more or less deemed them to be the 'childhood friends.'"

"Eh?" Kaoruko tilts her head. "Well, that's just the truth."

"Right, but if we provide content of you two behaving in accordance to that trope, the fans will eat it up."

"I see…"

"Oh! Oh!" Karen jumps up and down and flails her arm around. "What are we, Sensei?"

"Aijou, Kagura, and Tsuyuzaki are the 'troubled trio,'" she explains, looking around to each of the girls as she goes. "You have some squabbles and jealousy here or there, but overall you get along. Daiba, Hoshimi, you're the 'domestic pair.' Apparently you gives those vibes off more strongly, even though you all live together. And finally…"

As she turns to Claudine and Maya, Claudine stiffens as if she doesn't already know the answer.

"Saijou and Tendo, our most popular 'pair' are the 'rivals.' But it's not the competitiveness the fans wanna see all the time. There's gotta be some cooperation, too."

Claudine can feel Maya looking at her and smiling playfully, but again, Claudine can't bring herself to look back for some reason.

By now, the photographers have finished setting up, so Ms. Sakuragi claps loudly.

"All right, ladies. Let's get started. We'll do all of the shots out of the water first and then get wet later. First up, I want some group shots, so let's have everybody line up in formation."

Now that their work has officially begun, Claudine forces herself to snap out of whatever little daze she'd been in for the past hour or so. She isn't entirely sure what it's about, but she definitely knows it involves Maya. This whole pandering thing is part of the job, and she knows that. But some part of her just can't help feeling strange about it.

Enough, she chides herself. Just do your job.

She gets in line between Mahiru and Maya like always as they face the cameras. Everyone smiles and strikes peppy poses as if they're at a pool party.

They do a few more takes with everyone, and then some individual shots. Whenever it isn't someone's turn, they sit down and relax at some of the tables together and sip at some drinks.

Then, Ms. Sakuragi announces they'll start taking photos in their trios or pairs and calls for Karen's group first. The photographer positions the girls and tells them where and how to pose with some input from their manager. At the very least, everyone here is a woman, so it takes away the awkwardness of having a man pointing a camera at them when they're in bathing suits.

Karen's group does a few shots of two of them together with the third person off to the side looking jealous in order to pander to any of the 'ships' fans might have between the three of them. But then they take a bunch of shots of them together, laughing, hugging, tossing a beach ball, and then getting in the water.

Kaoruko and Futaba do a lot of intimate things, being they're the 'childhood friends.' There's a bit of hand-holding and some heads on shoulders. And then at one point they have Futaba sit at the edge of the pool, and Kaoruko lies down with her head in Futaba's lap as she feeds her grapes like a princess.

Junna and Nana get to sit at a table together and sip from two straws at the same fruit drink, giving off the calmer, more domestic vibes, and they sit on a lounge chair together reading a book. But when they get in the water they get to splash each other playfully to show off their fun-loving sides as well.

By this point in the day, Claudine realizes she really hasn't spoken much all this while.

And evidently, someone else notices too.

Maya moves her chair just a little closer to hers and checks to make sure everyone else is out of earshot before asking.

"Saijou-san? Are you feeling all right? You've been awfully quiet."

Claudine huffs and slides her chair a little further away.

"I'm fine. I don't need to be talking all the time, do I?"

"Of course not. But if you're feeling unwell, we can have our shoot postponed, I'm sure."

"Didn't you hear me? I just told you I'm fine."

"Are you...?" Maya softens her voice a little bit and looks away, which causes Claudine to look at her now. "Because I'm a little unsure about all of this, personally. I'm not very sure if I like the idea of… pretending to be in some kind of relationship with you…"

Claudine tenses up, and her eyes widen. She hadn't expected anything like this at all; for Maya to be sharing her misgivings about this. But of course Maya is a better actress, so Claudine never would have guessed she was feeling upset too if she hadn't spoken up just now.

It makes her wonder just how many times, both at work and back at the apartment, Maya had been feeling upset about something and Claudine never even noticed.

She's so taken aback by the situation that she doesn't react or respond in time before Ms. Sakuragi is calling for them.

"Saijou! Tendo! You're up!"

Maya shoots Claudine a look she's never seen on her before. It isn't exactly nervous, but it's almost a little sad in a way. Claudine opens her mouth to try and say something, but Maya is already walking away.

Claudine gets up and starts after her. Now she feels guilty about telling Maya she felt fine about all of this. If they'd both been able to admit they didn't like it, could they have gotten things to be done a bit differently, at least?

But she'd already told Maya she was fine, and it's Claudine's stubborn belief that if you keep telling yourself something, you'll eventually start to believe it for real.

So she just keeps telling herself she's fine and joins Maya beside the pool.

"All right," Sakuragi says. "You two are our main pair, the most popular by a landslide. Ever since that scandal stuff, the fans have been eating you guys up even more than usual. Everyone loves a good 'enemies to lovers' trope, right?"

Both of them jolt a little.

"Enemies-?"

"Lovers-?"

Ms. Sakuragi laughs.

"Not actual lovers, of course. The fans would probably see that as a betrayal of their feelings. You guys belong them, after all. Like we were saying before, we can kinda hint at romance, but the fans are gonna take it a step further and do all the imagining. None of it's real. With that said, I'm sure you guys can guess there's a bit of a demand for you two to be a little more intimate with each other, so let's start off strong with some hugging."

Claudine can barely process anything she'd just heard. Lovers? Weren't they supposed to be 'rivals'? Weren't they just supposed to give smug or conceited looks at one another while standing together? Why did they have to do 'intimate' things?

It's all too much to make sense of too quickly, and there's always that part of her mind reminding her this is a job and she doesn't have much choice in the matter anyway.

It'll be fine, she keeps telling herself. It'll be fine…

As the photographer gets into position to shoot, Maya sends Claudine another uncertain look, but then she blinks and it's gone. Maya gives off her usual confidence in front of the camera now, and whatever shadows Claudine had seen in her eyes have been suppressed.

This isn't right. Claudine needs to say something - for both their sakes.

"Um, Sensei-?"

"And, go!"

Claudine nearly bites her tongue when she suddenly feels Maya's arms wrapping around her from behind. Her scent envelopes her, her warmth and softness spreading across her back. Maya rests her chin on her shoulder, and Claudine shivers at the sensation of her warm hands around her bare stomach. Her face heats up instantly, and her breath hitches in her throat.

And then there's a series of flashes from the camera, snapping her back into the reality that this is just a photoshoot. But even so, that doesn't stop her heart rate from skyrocketing.

"Good!" Ms. Sakuragi calls out. "Now Saijou, hang on her a little bit."

Claudine swallows but nods to her orders. Maya lets go of her and Claudine turns around, briefly searching her eyes. But Maya's true emotions are concealed behind the front she puts on for the camera.

Hesitantly, Claudine slings an arm across her shoulders, then reaches up to lock her fingers together, encircling Maya in a loose hold. In turn, she feels Maya leaning into her a bit, resting a hand at the small of her back.

They put on their smug smiles as the camera snaps away, and then it's onto the next pose.

Ms. Sakuragi sets up a lounge chair with some of the decorative plants on either side of it and the water in the background. The photographer then has Maya sit down with her legs stretched out, and instructs Claudine to sit across her lap.

"You always see these kinda shots between couples," the woman says. "But you never realize how awkward it is to actually get into the pose!"

The comment is meant to lighten the mood, but it doesn't make Claudine feel any better about any of this. Maya sits with her legs stretched out and one crossed over the other on the chair, and moves over a bit to make room for her. Claudine swallows and steels herself as she makes her way over. She sits right next to Maya in the little space the chair provides, then slowly rests her legs across Maya's thighs, bending her knees to alleviate some weight.

"Good," the photographer says. "Now act like you like each other! Put those hands to use!"

Claudine draws in a steadying breath; it's too late to go back on this now. Slowly, she lifts up her arms and circles them around Maya's shoulders, though she still maintains as much distance as possible.

Maya responds by putting one arm around her back and one around her front. The skin-on-skin contact sends tingles up Claudine's spine for too many reasons to count.

They put on their grins and hope this will be enough, but after only a few shots the photographer waves her hand dismissively.

"Good, but let's get a little bit closer. The fans will eat up this intimate stuff or anything with sexual tension."

Claudine's heart nearly stops altogether before stampeding into overdrive. She feels Maya's grip on her hip tighten a bit as she pulls her in closer. Claudine complies, breathing shakily as she rests her chin on the top of Maya's head. Maya tucks her face in flush-up against her chest.

The photographer claps.

"Yes! Perfect! Give us those possessive eyes, both of you. You might appear volatile at times, but if anyone else ever tried to get between you, it'd be war. That's the kind of feeling we're going for."

Claudine does as she's told, putting on the mask of haughtiness and control, in spite of how much turmoil is going on inside of her. They're made to hold the pose as the camera shoots different angles and the lighting is altered for the perfect shot.

Maya remains perfectly still, but Claudine can feel at least one of them is trembling, and she can't say for certain it isn't both of them.

They've lived together for months, and they were close friends both at work and at home, in spite of their rivalry. But they've never done anything as intimate as this before.

Yes, they've sat on the same couch and huddled for warmth before, they've changed in front of each other, they've fallen asleep on each other's shoulders before, they've shared the same bed and ended up clinging to one another in the mornings before.

But never anything as deliberate and straightforward as this - and especially not in bathing suits.

It's killing Claudine to know that Maya can absolutely hear just how hard her heart is pounding right now, and that knowledge only makes it pound even faster. Her hands are warm and secure on Claudine's hip, ensuring she won't slip at the slightest shift in weight. Maya's scent is filling her lungs like never before, her warmth is spreading through Claudine's entire body-

And it feels… nice.

Or at least, she thinks it might, if not for all of the cameras flashing and orders being given.

It isn't as nice as it probably should or could be. The nervousness clawing at her stomach doesn't exactly let any of this be very enjoyable, and she knows Maya had had reservations about doing this, too. It's all so confusing, and it's all so much-

"Saijou-san-?"

At the sound of Maya's voice, Claudine blinks herself back into reality. As she does so, she feels a single tear drip down her cheek. Maya looks up at her, startled, and with deep-rooted concern in her eyes.

"Saijou-san? Are you all right?"

Claudine notices the photos have stopped, and the adults are giving her puzzled looks. She quickly wipes her face and sucks in a deep breath.

"Yes, I'm fine. Sorry." She gives Maya a compelling look, one that begs her not to pursue this. "I was spacing out and my eyes got watery. Are we finished here?" she asks the photographer.

"Finished on dry land, yes," she says. "Now let's get you two in the water."

As the two adults turn away to discuss, Claudine makes a quick move to get up off of her roommate. She gets to her feet, embarrassed by how wobbly her legs feel, but before she can move away there's a hand on her wrist, pulling her back. Maya stares up at her intensely, and her grip is tight.

"Claudine…" Her voice is quiet, so only she can hear. "You-"

"Please-" Claudine hushes her. "Can we talk about this later…?"

She doesn't know what to say to her right now, and she doesn't think she'll know what to say later either, but she definitely doesn't want to do this in front of everyone.

Maya's gaze doesn't waver, but Claudine matches her seriousness with her own. Neither is willing to give.

"Hey!" Ms. Sakuragi calls. "We're in the middle of something here! Something the matter?"

Claudine can see it on Maya's lips that she's about to answer in the affirmative, so she quickly yells out first.

"Not at all! We're coming!" She slips her wrist out of Maya's grip and struts toward the pool without looking back, because she knows if she does, her resolve is going to crumble.

Maya is forced to hide away her dislike of the situation and follow suit into the water.

Both of them use their expert skills to keep up the farce, feigning cheerful smiles and happy giggles as they splash water at each other, and then turning more sincere and intimate when holding each other.

They've done plenty of photoshoots before, most of which involved joint shots of them together, but never like this. It's agonizing, being unable to say or express the things they really need to right now, both to the staff and to one another.

By the time they're allowed to get out of the water, Claudine has all but lost her mind. She's eager to be finished with this, to head to the locker room, put her clothes back on, and just go home. The rest of the girls have already headed to the restroom to change and dry off.

But as she and Maya are drying themselves, their manager approaches them again.

"Just one more shot, you two," she says. She reaches into her blazer's pocket and pulls out a little red bottle. "I got this from the makeup department. We'll smear some fake blood on Saijou's lip and do one of those shots, you know? The fans will love it." She hands Claudine the bottle and waves for the photographer to get the camera ready.

Claudine's heart is in her throat again at thinking about exactly what kind of shot her manager is referring to.

"Excuse me?" Maya says suddenly. "Sensei, I don't think-"

"Just one last shot!" she says. "We'll be quick, I promise!"

Claudine shares a glance with her roommate that says 'let's just get it over with,' and though she can tell Maya doesn't like it, she follows after her. Claudine pours a bit of the fake blood onto her thumb and then smears it onto her lip, then puts the bottle down.

"All right now," the photographer says. "The scene is Saijou-san tripped and cut her lip. Tendo-san helps her up and inspects the wound. Maybe we get a little close, right?" She laughs jokingly, but no one else does.

Claudine looks up at Maya as calmly as she can manage. Maya exhales a tiny little sigh, something only Claudine can notice. She reaches out to take one of Claudine's hands and pull her a bit closer, then reaches her other hand up to cradle her cheek. Claudine nearly flinches, but conceals it by clearing her throat a little.

Maya's eyes are stern, and she knows it isn't just for the sake of the photoshoot. While her persona is supposed to be concerned about Claudine's supposed split lip, the real Maya is genuinely concerned about her feelings.

Claudine's hesitancy is genuine too, but it works to fill her role, and the camera snaps away.

Maya slowly drags her thumb to the corner of Claudine's mouth where the smear of red is visible.

Claudine can't tell if she likes this or hates it. She can't read Maya's truest emotions past the mask of the act. If Maya was fine with this, Claudine thinks she might be, too...

But she can't be. Neither of them can be.

A sharp pang travels through her chest, and she takes a step back. The camera flashes again.

"That's right! You don't need your rival worrying about you, do you, Saijou-san? Let's see that denial!"

If she'd been any less mindful, Claudine might've laughed outright at the accuracy of those words. The photographer keeps blindly making comments to encourage the act.

"And Tendo-san, you're so cool and collected, no one can be sure what you're truly feeling! Do you actually care for her, or are you just messing around to get a reaction? Oh, the fans are going to eat this up!"

Claudine closes her eyes. She can't take this anymore. It's borderline torture. Her chest hurts, and her eyes are beginning to sting-

Then suddenly, all at once, Maya drops to her knees with a gasp. Claudine's eyes shoot open, and her arms flash out reflexively, but Maya slips through them.

"Maya-?!"

The photos stop immediately, and Ms. Sakuragi hurries over.

"Tendo? What's the matter?"

Claudine is frozen in shock as worry starts to squirm in her stomach. Maya's eyes flutter as she looks blearily up at their manager.

"Sensei… I'm sorry. I think I just got a bit light-headed…"

Ms. Sakuragi sighs.

"That's my fault. We went overtime with this shoot. Good job, you two. Go get some water. We're done here." With that, she turns and walks over to talk to the photographer.

Claudine finally finds her voice, offering her hand down to her roommate.

"What was that?"

Maya accepts her hand and stands up perfectly fine. Clearly, the light-headed bit had been an act.

"I had to do something," she says. "I don't think either of us could have endured much more of that."

Claudine doesn't let her relief show. She wipes the fake blood off her lip and crosses her arms indifferently.

"Speak for yourself. I could've seen it through."

"Of course…"

"Did you have to be so dramatic about it? You nearly gave me a heart-attack."

"My apologies." Maya flashes her a little smile, but her response lacks the usual energy. She turns away and starts heading toward the restrooms to change.

What she'd said only starts to make sense to Claudine now as she follows after her. 'Either of us,' she'd said. Meaning Maya hadn't forced the photoshoot to end only for Claudine's sake, but for her own as well.

Claudine just isn't entirely sure what that means. She isn't really sure what any of it means.

Even now, her heart is still racing, and she can't explain why. It had felt nice to be so close to her, hadn't it? So why had she felt so miserable, too? Was it just because people were watching them, or was there something more to it - something more raw and honest?

When they reach the changing area, Claudine retreats into a stall to change instead of staying outside with Maya. She isn't sure what kind of expression to make around her right now.

But when she emerges again, she's a little startled to find Maya is already gone. The rest of the girls are waiting out in the lobby to start heading home. Nana sees Claudine approaching and looks up.

"Oh, Kuro-chan! Good work today!"

"Where's Maya?"

"Hm? Maya-chan headed out already."

Claudine is quiet. She knows it's better for them to walk home separately, but Maya had left without saying a word to her.

She quickly wishes everyone else a goodnight and says her goodbyes before hurrying out of the building.

She takes off down the sidewalk at a jog, but doesn't see any signs of Maya all the way back to the complex. When she reaches the apartment the door is already unlocked, so she pushes her way in to find her roommate already in the kitchen warming up leftovers. Claudine exhales, admittedly relieved to find her here, and puts her bag down.

"I'm home."

Maya replies without looking.

"Welcome back."

Claudine removes her shoes and gets into her slippers, slowly making her way to the kitchen.

"You were quick to get out of there. Don't tell me you were just hungry," she jokes, feeling once again that uncomfortable squirming in her stomach.

Maya shrugs.

"It's best to walk home separately."

"You didn't even tell me you were leaving."

Maya stops stirring the food in the pan and sighs, finally turning to look at her.

"My apologies, Claudine. I just… wasn't sure what to say to you. I was feeling all sorts of things. I still am…"

This time, the pang that passes through Claudine's heart doesn't hurt as much. It's actually a little bit… hopeful.

But… why?

What is she hopeful about? What is she hoping for between them? She can't want anything more than to continue being an idol with her.

Now, her chest only hurts.

Claudine turns away and lowers her head.

"I'm not hungry. I'm going to bed first."

"…Are you sure?"

"Yes."

She makes quick work of brushing her teeth and changing before crawling into bed. But even after she's lain down, her chest still feels tight and her heart is still throbbing. She tries to fall asleep before Maya comes in, but she doesn't even come close. Maya enters quietly, sitting on her side of the bed for a long moment before she speaks.

"Claudine…? Are you awake…?"

She wonders if Maya can hear how loudly her heart is beating.

"Yes."

Another moment passes. Maya shifts behind her, and Claudine can feel the slightest bit of her warmth on the mattress.

"Earlier," Maya says softly. "You'd said we could talk about things later."

Claudine inhales sharply and refuses to budge. She clutches the blankets more tightly, and when she blinks she feels something warm running across her cheek and onto her pillow.

"I... don't think I want to talk about it anymore…"

Maya doesn't say anything else. Claudine listens to her sigh, and feels her weight shifting as she lies down.

It's the first night since they'd started living together where they don't tell each other 'goodnight.'

Claudine doesn't close her eyes for a long time, even long after Maya has fallen asleep. She just continues staring at the shadows on the wall.

Her heart hurts. It really hurts.

Even if she might've suspected her feelings before, she'd never had to fully face them until now. She never thought it would cause them both so much pain.

At some point she starts to cry, muffling her sobs into the pillow as the fabric grows damp.

It's clear now. It's all too clear.

She tries her method from earlier, of trying to tell herself something over and over to make her heart believe it.

"I can't…" she chokes. "I can't be…"

But she is.

She's in love with Maya.

-------

A/N: This was really interesting for me to write - the idea of them both (secretly) harboring feelings they don't understand, then having to pretend they have to have feelings for each other, but the acting then gets in the way of the reality... A mess.