I am 21-year-old coder who has recently graduated with the highest degree (like it matters), got a job that starts in a few weeks, and I just don't know... I am just sad. I am not sure what to do with my life. I've always wanted and always believed that I would do something special, something interesting, create my own startup or work for one that I truly believed in even if it had only 1 percent chance of making a huge impact. But instead I had to do a reality check and find a job. And this job of mine just does this software for money, nothing special, it's just business... I tried reaching out interesting companies, but I was unsuccessful, because I am terrible at socializing and blew those interviews even though I was successful at implementing technical stuff. I have to feel lucky I got this boring job at all. And I have to take this work, I've lived alone for past 2 years (doing some freelance work that is not available anymore, and it just kept me alive meaning I was able to pay bills, and go to the cinema once a week) and can't go back living with my parents, that would be embarrassing and just very selfish of me, they've done enough for me, plus I enjoy living alone. I've been coding since probably like 12-13 years old, I've created dozens of projects but they were all unsuccessful. I just don't know. Realizing that you are just an average guy who will be just as everyone else, and you'll never ever create something that truly changes the world and has impact on it is fucking scary. I really enjoy implementing my own ideas into software even if I know it'll be most likely unsuccessful, I can spend hours and hours just coding, and I love it. However, I haven't had any unique (at least a little bit) ideas in months, and it's killing me. And now with starting a 40-hours a week job I'll probably be tired to think of anything new or code something for my own pleasure. I've traveled a lot whilst being a student (lots of free time that I am going to miss). I also don't have any friends, but I am not sure I need that. I just don't know... I am not sure what I am asking here with this terrible non-sequential writing... Maybe for an advice, or maybe I just wanted it to get it off my chest... Ah, life sucks being ordinary. And it's so funny, people elsewhere have real problems, like what to eat for dinner, or how to survive a war, and I'm just sitting here, being privileged pretentious asshole with self-made problems. Omg, I am an idiot.