The Man with Ponies for arms

>You wake up
>Uggh what the fuck happened?
>Looks around
>Its...its a hospital room?
>Moving your arms to grab the rail to pull yourself up you hear a yelp
>"OUCH, WHAT WHERE Y-" the sound makes
>The voice came from...your hands
>Slowly look at your hand
>Your hand is gone
>All there is, is a Purple Pony
>All There Is, Is A Purple Pony
>ALL THERE IS, IS A PURPLE PONY
>You start screaming
>The pony where your hand is looks at you, tries to move, and starts screaming
>"What the fuck, quiet down y-" you hear from your left hand
>WHAT THE FUCK MY OTHER ARM IS A ORANGE PONY
>WHAT THE FUCK
WHAT THE FU-
...
Hours Later
>"So you were the perfect candidate for the procedure" the doctor says
"So I lose my arms in a tragic Segway accident...and you fucking replace my arms with ponies!?!" you yell
>"Well, you lost your arms and these ponies are unable to use their kidneys to filter their blood, but you can, ssoo yeah, everyone one wins" says the doctor
>"EVERYONE WINS!!?" screams the orange pony on your left arm
>"Well it could be worse, you could be on dialysis for the rest of your lives and you could be armless for the rest of your life" chuckles the doctor
>So begins the adventures of the Anon with Ponies for arms

>Fighting your Nemesis, the Pony with Humans for limbs
>"AHAHA! ANON! I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOU AND YOUR ARMS, BEHOLD AS I USE"
>Wait for it
>"BANKAI!" she yells
>A dark aura envelops her as her power level increases
>She now has Vegeta and Goku for arms, with Peyton Maning and John Madden for legs
"GIRLS! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!!" you yell
>"Run?" says the Purple Pony
>Good idea
>As you run down the dark damp, yet sensationally warm tunnel
>Leaving the Tunnel, you try to activate your own Bankai
>Using your pony arm's to pinch your nipples, you scream
"BANKAI!!"
>You walk of the white cloud with Celestia and Luna now for your arms
>Let this be our final battle Lyra

>As you fight the combined might of Goku, Vegeta, Peyton Manning, and John Madden with Celetia and Luna, you prepare yourself to use your sexy eyes to try and seduce Lyra to throw her off guard
>She fires a combined Kamahamaha and Galick Gun
>You counter with Moon and Sun Rays
>All of British Columbia is in ruins
>"WE SEEEM TO BE EEEEVENLY MATCHED ANON!" yelled Lyra
>You keep eyeing her, trying to seduce her with your eyes
>Then it happened
>Your Dick turned into Gungnir, the spear of odin
>You thrust forward as the spear launches from where your cock was at Lyra
...
>"So yeah, we replaced your penis with a pony" the doctor said
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOU AND REPLACING LIMBS WITH PONIES YOU YELLED" as your new dick, Princess Cadence, adjust herself snugly over your ball sack
>"Well YOUR the one who turned his dick into a mythological spear to kill a pony with humans for arms, poor abomination" the doctor says getting out
>"Sooo....who wants to play Jenga!" asks Cadence as you get up and start to head home


>"SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?" screams Princess Cadence as you and your arms are trying to sleep
>Why god
>Why
>Then she starts tap dancing
>on your scrotum
"OH THATS IT" you scream as you use your pony arms and start to try and pull Cadence off, you dont care, you would rather be nothing be there if there wasn't a dick there at all
...
>"OH GOD THAT WAS AMAZING!" screamed Cadence as you feel back
>You tried to yank her off
>But it only stimulates her
>What the fuck
>What the actual fuck
"CAN YOU JUST SHUT UP!?" you scream at you new dick
>"Nope, want to watch Jersey Shore?" she askes
....
>Its been 3 days
>You haven't slept
>Cadence hasn't slept ether but she is still awake
>Wide awake
>"Want to go see that new disney film?" she asks
>Even your other pony arms want to die
>Please kill me


"So you can free me of this...thing" you said pointing down at Cadence
>"Of Course, all you have to do is gain yards" says the mysterious man in the shadows
"What do you mean yards?" you ask
>The man emerged from the shadows
>"Anon, the best way to free yourself from Cock-Cadence is to gain yards, and you gain yards is to advance the ball down the field" he says
"W...who are you?" you whimper
>"I am Madden, Illusive Madden"
...
>You advance the ball down the filed
>Past the Dallas Cowboys
>The bronco's try to tackle you, but you dodge
>Holding the ball closely with your pony arms you are about to make the touch d-
>Then it is, you are side lined by none other then Billy Mays
>On your back, Cadence looks up and smiles at Billy Mays
>"Thanks Billy, I knew you would understand" she says
>"No problem, just remember, to get the stains out of his underwear, get oxy clean!" he says as he walks away
>no...fuck
>Looks like your stuck with Cadence
>Forever