/dvv/ playtest 7

Nobody Important (GM): ((I wonder how long it's going to take everyone to realize that this is just a big indiana jones ripoff))
Turnop: ruined
Nobody Important (GM): Nah, not yet.
Turnop: BRB gonna go kill myself
Bart: Pretty much ten seconds after you made the initial announcement.
Turnop: I can't believe I interacted with someone taking inspiration from something else
Captain Anitelu Ahomana: And so we will answer one of the greatest questions of our time: how would Han Solo do in Indiana Jones' shoes?
Nobody Important (GM): probably pretty well, as Indiana Jones is just han solo as an archeologist.
Hivan: Han Solo is a bit more murderhobo-ey
Klah: nothing can possibly go wrong
Bart: Is there gonna be a scene where he has to shoot first to a huge guy with a scimitar?
Nobody Important (GM): There wasn't going to be but there is now.
Hivan: Indie likes to keep things from getting blown up
Turnop: Fun fact: That scene was caused by diarrhea
the more you know
Dread Cartographer .: Hey, got room for one more?
Captain Anitelu Ahomana: yeah
Dread Cartographer .: great, you
Bart: There's always room. Except when there isn't.
Turnop: take that sickly green off, it's too similar to superior spectator lime green
Dread Cartographer .: 've just got yerself a sax playing snake
Happy now?
Klah: yes
Turnop: Mildly
Hans Olo: Delighted
Bart: My animal companion!
Nobody Important (GM): Alright then, let's get this show on the road. Everyone's character sheets in the character sheet thread?
Bart: http://pastebin.com/s37fMcgw
Dread Cartographer .: Just a second
Klah: yeah im missing 4 EP but ive got no clue where to spend them so fuck it
Turnop: You don't need to spend it all
Nobody Important (GM): Introduce yourself to your allies and how you got hired aboard an Atlantean archeological expedition to Agrabah in the Egypt reason.
Bart: Not so sure about the last two powers.
Hans Olo: I was payed half up front to fly you guys here, but I don't get the other half until you bring back something interesting.
Hivan: by the way, what do you guys think of my last power?
https://app.roll20.net/forum/post/1357091/post-character-sheets-here-for-future-games#post-1390908
Bart: I'm a professional treasure hunter and I know hieroglyphs. Plus I literally work for peanuts..
Dread Cartographer .: dumbo?
Hivan: https://app.roll20.net/forum/post/1357091/post-character-sheets-here-for-future-games#post-1389184
sorry
wrong sheet
Dread Cartographer .: I suppose I'm Bart's pet
Bart: Oh wait
Nobody Important (GM): Powers look good to me.
Hans Olo: Wait, which animal is everyone?
Hivan: Since I was driven from my tree in Russia and took this suit of armor from a fallen adventurer, I have been looking for ways to defeat The Dark One who took my land
so I joined as protection
Nobody Important (GM): Anyway, so Hans Olo has flown the expedition here and gotten half his cash up front, but if he flies away without them and something interesting he can expect to never work in Atlantis again.
Klah: Klah was hired on in Egypt because she talked her way onto the expedition once they got there on merit of her knowledge of the area and ability to protect the expedition.
Jermiah Tombill: Well, here I am
again
Kapi: Hey there
Ape
Klah: Payment in the form of any artifacts of no interest to the expedition and a ride to Atlantis itself once the expedition is complete.
Jermiah Tombill: already have a full house?
Hivan: Hans, we are bees
Klah: Klah is a Leopardwoman
Hivan: and we have armor
Dread Cartographer .: Sax Snake is Sax
Klah: so Human/Leopard
Dread Cartographer .: and Snake
We are one
Nobody Important (GM): I think we're 4/5 at the moment.
Hans Olo: Ah, yes the literal hivemind.
Kapi: Dunno, don't think six players instead of five will be so unmanageable
Jermiah Tombill: Cool, can I join in/
?
Turnop: no we're 5/5
Nobody Important (GM): Oh, are we?
Turnop: hans hivan klah sax kapi
Nobody Important (GM): Well, I guess we're maxed out then.
Jermiah Tombill: Its cool then
Nobody Important (GM): Sorry Jermiah
Turnop: Change to the superior lime green
Sefton: 'sup guys, how's it going?
Nobody Important (GM): We're about to start.
Turnop: of the spectator master race
Nobody Important (GM): People always show up ~15 minutes after start time, I don't understand it.
Dread Cartographer .: Start time= Oh, the thing was happening, I should check it out once I'm done with this thing
Sefton: Sweet, then I made it just in time. It's been some busy days so I didn't make a character, but spectating is always fun too
Hivan: no, start time = Oh, shit, I need to make a character!
Nobody Important (GM): Pretty much.
Klah: Arrive 30 minutes late: "can i make a character still"
Sefton: By the by, isn't this the full-animal party one?
Jermiah Tombill: Just do what I do
Klah: we have Hans Olo as our human
Kapi: Only one human
Jermiah Tombill: Use the same one again
Nobody Important (GM): So we've got DOCTOR BEEES, Leopardwoman, Jazzsnake, Hans Olo, and Kapi?
Sefton: Ah, damn it
Klah: we have 1 and 1/2 humans
Sefton: WHAT'S THIS, A GAME WOEFULLY UNDERPOPULATED BY BEES?
Kapi: The rest is leopard-woman, ape, snake and bee hive-mind in a suit
Nobody Important (GM): Jermiah holds a special place in my heart for being in 4/6 playtests.
Jermiah Tombill: And where are you guys going again/
Hivan: 1 and a half men
Nobody Important (GM): Egypt.
Jermiah Tombill: Ah
Nobody Important (GM): to the VALLEY OF KINGS
Jermiah Tombill: Wait
Nobody Important (GM): TO UNCOVER RAMSESESES XVII'S TOMB
Sax Snake .: ADVENTURE
Klah: I didnt even realize that this shit had taken off from Thread 1 until you guys were already like a million threads in
Sax Snake .: [sax noise intensifies]
Sefton: So what you're saying is that they're going to walk.....In the same place as the egyptians, in the same way they used to...
Turnop: ((Ramseses XVII includes like five other Ramses no one ever found or knew existed lol))
Sefton: So basically, they are going to....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV_CwCTOOMI
Nobody Important (GM): Oh yeah.
Kapi: THAT'S IT
NOBODY QUOTES WALK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN TO ME AND WALKS AWAY WITH BOTH EYES
Nobody Important (GM): We're makin' shit up because while my knowledge of roman and greek history, as well as Mesopotamian history is unmatched I don't know jack shit about egypt.
Jermiah Tombill: Don't worry
Sax Snake .: The ruins are from the ptolemy era
it might as well be greek, really
Jermiah Tombill: Its "Disney" history
Nobody Important (GM): MAKIN SHIT UP
HERE WE GO
Sax Snake .: LETS DO THIS
Klah: anything you get wrong is just DM interpretation
Kapi: Then...why didn't you have it take place in mesopotamia?
Sefton: Because FUCK YEAH, PYRAMIDS
Turnop: ((That singing is so fucking weird, it sounds like english but I know it's jap because of the runes on screen))
Hivan: Because Rule 0, that's why
Sefton: (The song is english. They just used it for the ending)
Nobody Important (GM): It's around six in the morning when Hans Olo brings you in to Cairo's 'airport' with his surprisingly hairy copilot and you begin unloading not long after landing.
Turnop: ((oh wait now it's actuall english))
Kapi: I resent that
Nobody Important (GM): Because then my autism would prevent me from modifying shit to make it fun, kapi.
Kapi: I'm not a "co" pilot
Sax Snake .: I'm the co-pilot
Nobody Important (GM): It's going to be a ten-day journey out to the Valley and you're going to need a guide and some camels.
Kapi: but you're not hairy
or are you?
Sax Snake .: ...
racist
Nobody Important (GM): Luckily, the captain of the Expedition, a man named Sgt. Rodgers manages to get you 'very high quality camel, only slightly used' from a local dealer.
Jermiah Tombill: ((I will illustrate))
Sax Snake .: Is his first name Hassan by chance?
Nobody Important (GM): He's Mad Abdul Hassan, the Crazy Arab.
Klah: love that guy
Nobody Important (GM): Completely a coincidence, he assures you. He is not crazy at all! Just love camel very much.
Sax Snake .: An understandable circumstance
Hans Olo: Man, he was the first joke guy I statted up for this system.
Sax Snake .: it gets lonely out in the desert
Nobody Important (GM): Back when we actually had Barter as a skill, IIRC
That one sort of went unceremoniously into Persuasion.
Hans Olo: Nah, it was after that. He had a thing that gave him a bonus to bartering-related Persuasion.
Nobody Important (GM): Anyway, moving on from historical debates about skill lists.
Anyone got good Travel?
Klah: I do!
Kapi: I do
Nobody Important (GM): Otherwise, you're going to need a guide.
Hans Olo: yep
Sax Snake .: I don't
can we get a basket for me?
Hivan: mine is 3
Klah: Mine is +7
Nobody Important (GM): Baskets are cheap. Come with camel! He throw in for free!
Sax Snake .: aw yissssss
Hivan: What a great deal!
Nobody Important (GM): Only problem: Smells like camel.
Kapi: Eh, gift horse...
Sax Snake .: camel
Klah: depending on prefrence that could be a bonus
Hans Olo: So, is travel going to be sensibility or intelligence?
Sax Snake .: Sax snake is neutral on smells
Nobody Important (GM): I think it could be either or. Are you navigating based on a map, or on your common sense telling you where to go?
Klah: I have a map so map
Kapi: Map probably.
Sefton: (>Disney Heroes
>Tabletop Party
>Common Sense)
(Hahahaha)
Nobody Important (GM): Either way, the expedition departs, but not before hearing that a nefarious expedition set out a day and a half before you arrived, with Herr Doktor Von Kaiser at it's head!
Kapi: (GASP!)
Hans Olo: Okay, now you're ripping off the mummy
Sax Snake .: I lighten the journey with the sounds of sax
Hivan: I join in on my bee drum
Sax Snake .: Nice
Klah: [he lays down a beeat]
Nobody Important (GM): Okay, whoever's leading the party test me travel+Intelligence.
Kapi: (jungle beat)
Hivan: can we help with our song?
Nobody Important (GM): Yes, because this is disney.
Kapi: rolling 4d6k3+15
(5+2+3+2)+15= 25
Klah: [3d6k3+14 for me right)
Nobody Important (GM): Roll your musics and i'll average them.
Yep.
Klah: welp
Kapi: Oh sorry
Sax Snake .: rolling 4d6K3+19
(4+1+2+3)+19= 28
Hivan: rolling 3d6+9+8
(4+6+4)+9+8= 31
Sax Snake .: Dat sick beat
Hans Olo: ASSIST
Klah: [its cool, you had a better overall bonus anyway, can i uh.. 'aid' with my map?]
Hans Olo: rolling 5d6k3+8
(2+6+1+6+6)+8= 26
Nobody Important (GM): (Sure.
MAXIMUM POSSIBLE SCORE
Klah: rolling 3d6k3+14
(5+3+2)+14= 24
Nobody Important (GM): STILL 26
total music bonus: 27.5 so a +4 bonus to Travel
Hans Olo: 28, actually, misread sheet
Nobody Important (GM): Who's leading?
Sax Snake .: Hey, he's not a musical character, go easy on him
Kapi: I'll try
Nobody Important (GM): Travel+Intelligence
Kapi: with Klah's map
Klah: Kapi is probably leading
Nobody Important (GM): Okay, what's the bonus the map gives?
Kapi: rolling 4d6k3+15
(5+6+6+5)+15= 32
Klah: +2 to travel
Kapi: So 34
Nobody Important (GM): Okay, that's 34!
Pretty darn good!
Hans Olo: Aw, and I rolled 5 dice when I should've rolled 4. Ah, whatever.
Kapi: "Don't worry folks, I do this for a living".
Nobody Important (GM): it matters not!
Kapi: "We'll get there in a jiffy".
Nobody Important (GM): Well, you fail to get lost in the desert with it's shifting dunes, sharp wind and incredible heat.
You make excellent time, and make it there in only 8 days!
Sax Snake .: These camels were a good buy
Nobody Important (GM): The Valley Of Kings, as they call it, looks almost peaceful and tranquil at night.
There's no manmade light here, just the stars and the silent rocks, the tombs waiting for you.
'Course, most of them have already been broken into, but your expedition leader has a sneaking suspicion that a gap between two of the tombs harbors another...
Hans Olo: "HAHA, SUCK IT HERR DOKTOR VON KAISER!"
Sax Snake .: I slither out of my basket and point my head towards the empty gap
Kapi: "Amen to that, cousin."
Sax Snake .: signalling that we should go in there
Klah: "What are the chances we got here before the 'doktor' "
Nobody Important (GM): "Yes, yes chaps! What ho, I do say I believe there is a tomb there! The workmen will be right on it. Now, you intrepid lot, are you ready to make Egyptology history?"
Kapi: (I speak snake by the way)
Nobody Important (GM): ((Chances are pretty good, you made very good time. Assuming that you didn't take any long breaks you've probably got a day before Herr Doktor Von Kaiser gets here.))
Sax Snake .: (Oh good, that's helpful, becaus I don't speak human))
Kapi: "Of course! but just to be sure... are there going to be actual treasures?"
Hivan: ((I speak lizard. Does that cover snakes?))
Nobody Important (GM): His mustache -- large and glorious as it is -- wiggles like a hairy caterpillar "Why surely my good man! But they belong in a museum!"
Sax Snake .: (Probably, it's just a stupid accent anyway)
Klah: "Yes is it likely we will find anything, interesting or just particularly dusty ornaments"
Hans Olo: "The museums can pay for it, right?"
Kapi: (yeah, sure thing buddy...)
Nobody Important (GM): He shrugs. "Probably. I'll pay you for them, regardless!"
Klah: [I like to call my bags 'the museum']
"Well then lets get this on the way, use what time we have ahead of the other expedition to it's best"
Nobody Important (GM): "Tally ho, then!"
The workers begin to set up dynamite where the doors should be.
Klah: [Idea!]
Nobody Important (GM): Everyone takes cover, even the camels behind what appears to be a particularly large and intact statue of Ramseseseses XVI.
Not Ramseseseses XVII.
Sax Snake .: becuase fuck that guy
Nobody Important (GM): What an asshole.
Kapi: Worst Pharaoh ever.
Nobody Important (GM): -2/10
Hivan: He was really That Pharaoh
Kapi: Worse than Assholethep the insufferable.
Sax Snake .: Even Osiris hates him
Nobody Important (GM): He dragged all his subjects into his Magical Realm.
Klah: [NI are theCamels particularly... bright? Klah speaks Camel so I'm thinking maybe I can get some info out of them about the other expidition if they picked up camels from out buddy]
Nobody Important (GM): Which happened to be, you know, egypt.
Hans Olo: "1/10, made me read the history books."
Nobody Important (GM): ((You can ask them, sure.))
((Generally I think Nob is what people usually call me, but I could be wrong.))
Klah: [Will do then, probalby better than NI]
Nobody Important (GM): Test me Persuasion+Charisma then.
Klah: rolling 4d6k3+13
(5+2+1+5)+13= 25
Nobody Important (GM): Certainly good.
Klah: "Do any of you happen to recall anything about the other expedition?"
Nobody Important (GM): The camels are... bored, mostly. One stops chewing and spitting briefly to talk to you. "Oh, the scary ones with the scars and tight clothes?"
Sax Snake .: >Herr Doktor von Kaiser was already here
Klah: "Yes most likely them, do you recall anything particularly interesting about that group?"
Nobody Important (GM): "Yeah, they took Wilfred and Betsy with them to carry their stuff. You know, paperclips, post-it notes, notepads, explosives, guns, pens, you know, office supplies."
"There were, oh, must have been fifteen of them, thirty if you count the workmen they drafted."
Sax Snake .: >Implying anyone counts the workmen
Nobody Important (GM): "Aanyway, they left, i dunno, a day before you guys showed up. They should really be here by now."
Klah: "Interesting" Klah will give the useful Camel extra feed if its interested
Nobody Important (GM): "Thanks, weird big cat. Any time."
That's when the explosives go off.
There's a sound like thunder and you're all deaf for a moment, but you can hear a sound like a rockfall very faintly while your eardrums bleed.
When you, the workmen, and your camels pile out from behind the statue you can see solid gold (apparently) doors in the rock wall.
They're pretty dented.
Also, Ramseseseses XVI's statue no longer has a face.
Sax Snake: good
Hivan: dude was a dick
Nobody Important (GM): "Jolly good, chaps! Get some sleep now!"
Hivan: do we have extra explosives?
Nobody Important (GM): "I'll leave the beginning in your capable hands."
You do, if you want to grab some.
Klah: Klah relays information gathered from Camels to the others
Nobody Important (GM): There's ~5 sticks of dynamite.
Hivan: let's keep it
Sax Snake: Let's keep the door too
Hivan: I was considering just blowing up the statue
Hans Olo: How big are these doors, and how many camels will.....I MEAN, would it take to drag it back to a pawnshop?
Nobody Important (GM): They're big, and from the looks of it solid gold.
Of course, it could just be gold plating but even then each door is gonna take a camel to itself.
Kapi: Are there ancient inscription or anything interesting on them?
Nobody Important (GM): There probably was, till it was dynamited off.
Hans Olo: Well we've got 30 to spare if the other expedition arrives but doesn't survive.
Sax Snake: Eh, it probably wasn't important
Kapi: Dang, should have thought of it before.
Nobody Important (GM): What's the worst that could happen?
Klah: Nothing can possibly go wrong
Kapi: (something something mummies with cauldronborn stats...)
Hans Olo: One of the inscriptions says: "WARNING: To enter this tomb and leave alive you must-" and then it's cut off.
Nobody Important (GM): Okay. You lot are standing in front of the doors. They don't appear to be locked, but they're gonna be heavy as shit.
You've got your gear, plus five sticks of dynamite.
What are you going to do?
Hivan: I flex mightily
Sax Snake: How tight is the seal on the doors?
Klah: "Someone a bit bulkier than I should pry those open"
Hivan: and by that I mean I rearrange the bees in my arms to look tougher
Nobody Important (GM): Their seal was likely destroyed by the blast, but the doors have been bent into each other.
It's gonna take some serious ROBUSTNESS to pry this open.
Sax Snake: Is there a cobra sized hole anywhere?
Hivan: then I try pushing them, with my mighty ROBUSTNESS
Nobody Important (GM): There possibly was, but it was destroyed by the blast almost certainly.
Kapi: (Where's Bart when you need him?)
Hans Olo: "Well guys, let's get to work."
Sax Snake: shame
Nobody Important (GM): Alright, test me Robustness+Athletics
Sax Snake: I play strong sax music for support
Hans Olo: rolling 3d6+10
(3+5+4)+10= 22
Klah: I provide moral support from the sidelines
Hivan: rolling 5d6k3+12+5
(2+1+1+3+6)+12+5= 28
Nobody Important (GM): Sax, roll me Music+Charm
Kapi: Ditto
Sax Snake: rolling 4d6k3+19
(3+5+1+5)+19= 32
Nobody Important (GM): That's good enough to give Hivan a push to pry open the doors, yielding before their tiny, fuzzy onslaught.
Hans Olo: That should be 5d6k3 if Charm is your primary.
Nobody Important (GM): The droning and buzzing was getting a bit strained for a moment.
Sax Snake: oh shit my bonus is way higher than that
oh
okay
Nobody Important (GM): The doors slam open, still on their hinges and darkness leads below
There's a staircase here. It's too dark to see anything else.
Kapi: "Good thing I have torches in my adventuring kit!"
Sax Snake: Handy
Klah: Quite
Nobody Important (GM): How convenient.
Hivan: Not a fan of fire, I stay a safe ways away
Nobody Important (GM): You light a torch. The bees move away.
Kapi: Never leave home without torches, a stake and mallet and a ten foot pole
Nobody Important (GM): Don't forget 50ft of rope and manacles.
Hans Olo: Kinky.
Sax Snake: What do you think the stake and mallet are for?
Nobody Important (GM): Manacles have many uses, and the journey is long...
Hivan: well, the ten foot pole is a given]
Kapi: "let's start our descent into mystery then!"
Hivan: [were we even expected to put that on our character sheets or did you do the reasonable thing and assume that we all had one?]
Nobody Important (GM): Well, now that you have a torch you can see into the darkness a bit.
Sax Snake: I slither up onto Kapi and concur with a flick of my tongue
Nobody Important (GM): I just assume that people have the equipment they need unless specified otherwise, it just provides no bonus.
No need to make people have a list of trivial junk they're carrying around.
Hivan: [okay, I mean, I personally never leave home without a ten foot pole, even irl]
Klah: [makes sense]
Nobody Important (GM): [I've got flint and tinder, and 50ft of rope on my person.]
Hemp rope.
Dual purpose.
Hivan: Clever
Kapi: What do we see exactly in this darkness?
Sax Snake: Not much I'd guess
Nobody Important (GM): The staircase is ~20ft down, and you can see another stone door down there.
Hivan: I toss a rock down there
Nobody Important (GM): It's a pretty sharp descent though, I'd recommend going slow.
It's also very dusty.
The rock clatters at the bottom of the stairs. Dust is kicked up.
Insight+sensibility, everyone...
Jermiah Tombill: ((Hey, Sax snake, what kind of snake are you?))
Sax Snake: (King Cobra)
Kapi: rolling 3d6+10
(6+5+1)+10= 22
Sax Snake: rolling 3d6+10
(6+1+5)+10= 22
Hivan: rolling 4d6k3+12+6
(5+3+2+1)+12+6= 28
Klah: rolling 3d6+12
(5+3+5)+12= 25
Nobody Important (GM): Hivan and Klah; You think you can hear something faintly from inside.
Sounds like... air escaping from a balloon?
Klah: "Does anyone else hear that?"
Hivan: I send a drone in
is there a crack that a single bee can fit through?
Nobody Important (GM): What are you having the drones do?
Nah, the door's nearly airtight -- not quite, but almost.
Your drone can't quite fit through.
Hans Olo: ah shit
Kapi: "Everybody back!"
Hans Olo: rolling 3d6+12
(1+2+6)+12= 21
Hivan: they were just goint to look in and see if there is anything was blatantly lethal
Hans Olo: You pop out for one second
Klah: Klah will back up at the suggestion of the ape
Hivan: as do I
Nobody Important (GM): Nah. Drone returns to you unharmed.
"all good, your majesty" it dances to you.
Hivan: Let's try something. Can someone put the torch up to the door?
Klah: "It was a sound like air leaving a balloon, any ideas?"
Kapi: "That rock obviously triggered something, and experience tells me it wasn't a welcome party".
Hivan: if it's fine with the torch, I'll open the doors
Kapi: I cautiously walk up to the door and light it up.
Nobody Important (GM): The sound is louder now.
It sounds like... hissing?
Sax Snake: Can I understand the hissing?
Kapi: Ditto.
Nobody Important (GM): It's a lot of very crazy snakes screaming nonsense with the occasional 'PLEASE LET US GO'
Sax Snake: MY BROTHERS
WE MUST HELP THEM
Klah: "Why is the snake getting uppity"
Sax Snake: GET THE DYNAMITE APE MAN
Hivan: snakes. Why are there always snakes?
Kapi: WAIT
Sax Snake: STAY CALM
I WILL FREE YOU
Kapi: Inscriptions or anything useful on the door? Near the door?
Nobody Important (GM): On the door, actually.
Want to test me Linguistics+Intelligence?
Kapi: Even if I know hieroglyphs?
Hans Olo: rolling 3d6+7
(2+3+2)+7= 14
Jermiah Tombill: ((if any of you would like to look at the bottom, you can see some of my masterful artwork
Hans Olo: nope
Kapi: rolling 4d6k3+11+4+2
(6+4+1+4)+11+4+2= 31
Sax Snake: (it's wonderful)
Klah: rolling 3d6+10
(1+5+2)+10= 18
Nobody Important (GM): well, Kapi can tell that it's a piece of particularly dreadful ancient egyptian poetry.
Sax Snake: APE MAN
Nobody Important (GM): Probably written by an angsty teenager, given how often they use 'black souls'.
Sax Snake: STOP READING THE DOOR
Hivan: fuck it
Sax Snake: THERE ARE SNAKES
Hivan: I open the door
Nobody Important (GM): Oh yeah, something about a mummys curse but who gives a shit
Klah: "Here we go"
Kapi: If he's going to open the door I'm gonna crawl in the corner of the corridor first.
Sax Snake: Are the snakes cursed?
Nobody Important (GM): A lot of racist comments about Nubians, too.
Kapi: The upper one. I'm climbing like the ape I am
Hivan: Fucking Ramsees
Sax Snake: just because they're black
Nobody Important (GM): You get the impression that they may have spent a bit too long on a certain hieroglyphicsboard.
Opening the door?
Hivan: I open the door, and then fly up
to the ceiling
Sax Snake: >2414BC
Klah: I back away from the door
Kapi: I also try to grab the uman and carry it up with me.
Hans Olo: po/ 1243BC
Nobody Important (GM): Test me Robustness+Athletics, Kapi
Kapi: Him* sorry
3d6+11
Hivan: [shit, I have to go for about 15 minutes]
Kapi: rolling 3d6+11
(4+4+6)+11= 25
Nobody Important (GM): [k]
Hivan: [sorry]
Nobody Important (GM): Yeah, you've got him in your clutches.
It's some tarzan-level bromance stuff going on
Just chewie and han, hanging out in the corner of a creepy ancient egyptian tomb
Kapi: (looking him in the eyes) "Say anything homo, cousin, and I rip your ears off".
Nobody Important (GM): The door opens with a horrible scraping sound of stone on stone.
The hissing is like, super loud now.
Sax Snake: >it's funny because he's a homo sapiens
Nobody Important (GM): There's not much but darkness in here, but with your torch you can see that the floor extends for about ten feet then drops into darkness.
Sax Snake: BROTHERS
HOW MANY OF YOU ARE THERE?
WHY ARE YOU IN THIS HUMAN CAVE?
Klah: "What is the snake doing"
Nobody Important (GM): There is a pause in the hissing.
Kapi: "Speaking with his brothrs".
Nobody Important (GM): "WE ARE MANY, THERE ARE SO MANY, WE HAVE BEEN HERE FOR SO LONG!"
"WE ARE BORN, WE LIVE, WE DIE IN HERE AND WE ALWAYS HAVE"
Sax Snake: FUCK THAT SHIT, LET'S GET YOU OUT OF HERE
Klah: "Oh gods it was more snakes?!'
Sax Snake: YOU KNOW HOW MANY MORE RATS THERE ARE OUTSIDE?
LIKE
A SHIT TON
IT'S AWESOME
Kapi: "If we free you could you do us a solid about certain other humans?"
Nobody Important (GM): There is a pause.
"What kind of favor?" one old-sounding snake voice asks.
Kapi: "Oh, nothing important. Just do your snake thing. If you bited some of them nobody would object is what I'm saying".
Hans Olo: ((I get this funny feeling there are a lot more.....human-deterring things ahead. You have any idea what they are?))
Nobody Important (GM): "Would you mind if we ate them? I haven't tasted anything but snake meat for... ever, I guess."
Sax Snake: AFTERWORDS I WILL LEAD YOU OUT OF EGYPT
Kapi: "Be our guests. They'll be the ones in tight black leather".
Sax Snake: AND WE WILL GO TO A LAND WITH MANY RATS
I PROMISE
Klah: "Are... are negotiations with the snakes going well?"
Sefton: (But not before one of you gets punched into a water tower)
Sax Snake: WE WILL GO TO THIS PROMISED LAND OF MANY RATS
Nobody Important (GM): There is another pause. "what is leather? Rats would be nice. I was told of rats once. "
Kapi: "Eh, I hope so."
"Scratch that, they're dressed in black."
Sax Snake: I WILL SHOW YOU THE MAN
Hans Olo: >snake moses
>snake jews
Kapi: Remember we have a mission first, scaled cousin.
Sax Snake: Yes, yes
man in black cow
then going to rat land
called
New York City!
Nobody Important (GM): "Yes, please! Free us! We will come with you and eat the humans in black!"
Sefton: (>Ratigan shits his pants)
Nobody Important (GM): ((Praise the lord on high that the workers are wearing brown/white clothes)
Kapi: I climb down with Hans and Sax.
Nobody Important (GM): There are... a lot of snakes in here.
Like, a lot.
We're talking ~2 feet deep of snakes in a swimming-pool.
They're about a foot long each, with stunted growth and mostly pale white.
Sax Snake: WE STILL SEEK THIS MAN, BUT WHEN WE FIND HIM, I WILL PLAY A SONG ON MY MIGHTY SAX
COME AT MY SIGNAL, AND BITE THE MEN IN BLACK
I play the tune for them to listen to
Nobody Important (GM): They hiss in tune to your song. "It is a good noise!"
Sax Snake: (the tune in question
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxopViU98Xo)
Jermiah Tombill: Sax Snake earned a halo for this
Nobody Important (GM): How are you going to get them out of there?
Kapi: I lower my ten foot pole down in the pit and lean it against the edge. "Wonderful, in the meantime train climbing on this."
Sax Snake: Ape man and the others will find a way
Klah: "So we're freeing the snakes then?"
Sax Snake: I test climbing on the pole
Nobody Important (GM): It's pretty hard, seeing as it's a pole and they're snakes, but they're starting to slowly trickle up.
Kapi: "Yup."
Nobody Important (GM): They hiss their gratitude and slither to a corner of the room to wait for others to come up.
You can faintly see a small balance beam over the pit for people to walk over, if you're interested.
Kapi: Of course.
(i'll go first to give you all a +2 bonus)
rolling 5d6k3+20
(4+4+2+1+6)+20= 34
Hans Olo: NIMBLENESS TIME
Nobody Important (GM): The balance beam is crossed with ease.
You are the picture of grace and elegance, and also being a large ape.
Hans Olo: rolling 5d6k3+15
(4+6+6+5+1)+15= 32
Sax Snake: That's my ape man
Klah: nimbleness+acro?
Nobody Important (GM): Hans makes it across similarly easily, showing you how it's done.
Yes, +2 more on top of your usual bonus due to Kapi.
Hivan: {back}
Klah: rolling 5d6k3+19
(4+1+3+4+1)+19= 30
Hivan: I fly over
Kapi: (I presume Sax is still over my shoulders)
Nobody Important (GM): Yeah, it's easy for Hivan.
Yes, he is.
Klah, you make it across with a bit less ease but with room to spare.
The other side is starting to fill with snakes now.
There's another door here, but this one appears to be sealed shut with some kind of -- wax?
Hivan: I inspect the wax
Kapi: Examine door and strange substance of course.
Hivan: I know my shit about wax
Nobody Important (GM): It's extremely old was.
wax*
Probably bee's wax, but also likely candlewax.
Jermiah Tombill: ((Arn't those basically the same?))
Nobody Important (GM): ((Yep, but there's some preparation differences))
Hivan: I break the seal and run
Nobody Important (GM): Backwards, or into?
There's not much space for you to run back from unless you want to become one with the snake-pit.
Jermiah Tombill: ((I think I really captured the Majesticness of the characters))
Hivan: back, I fly
Sax Snake: ((Sax Snake doesn't have hands though))
Kapi: Again, I climb into the upper corner.)
Nobody Important (GM): Alright. You pull the door back, breaking the seal and your armor erupting into pieces.
Nothing happens.
You're starting to feel a bit silly when you do that.
Hivan: shit
I go into the room
Kapi: Climb down, edge toward the door torch first.
Klah: I'll follow after Kapi
Hivan: I've had a... bad experience with a sealed room erupting into flame
Nobody Important (GM): It's...
Kapi: With a hand on one of the swords.
Nobody Important (GM): A long, winding tunnel.
You can't see the other end.
Must be at least a hundred feet after you toss a rock in to judge the distance.
The tunnel curves downhill noticeabley -- how deep did they dig? How greedily?
Hivan: Many brave comrades will bee remembered who died that day
Sax Snake: Well, only one way to find out
ONWARD APE MAN COMRADE
Kapi: As the snake said.
Hivan: I go down the tunnel, flying to avoid pressure plates or spikes
Klah: I follow behind our apeman
wait no just ape
Kapi: I also keep my eyes peeled for anything strange or archeological-looking.
Nobody Important (GM): There's a carving on the floor about ten feet in.
Kapi: Oh boy
Hans Olo: "IT'S A TRAP!"
Nobody Important (GM): It's too dusty to read it properly.
Hans Olo: - aDMIRAL aCKBAR
Kapi: I dust it off with a paw-foot
Hivan: dust it off, what's the worst that could happen?
Nobody Important (GM): Okay, Linguistics+Intelligence.
Hivan: Also, I run away back down the tunnel a ways when he does this
Kapi: rolling 4d6k3+18
(5+5+3+1)+18= 31
Hans Olo: rolling 3d6+7
(5+3+1)+7= 16
yeah, not a clue
Kapi: Whops was supposed to be +17
Nobody Important (GM): Kapi, you decipher it easily.
Klah: rolling 3d6+12
(2+6+4)+12= 24
Nobody Important (GM): "Alas, alas, why does no one behold the wisdom of his majesty Pharaoh Ackbar the First?"
Hivan: shit
Klah: fuck
Nobody Important (GM): There is a rumbling clank, and a stone door slams down right next to Hivan, and you hear a rumbling above you.
Hivan: fuck
Klah: "no...nonono"
Hivan: fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
Kapi: RUUUUUUUUUN
Sax Snake: FORWARD APE MAN
Hivan: I RUN THE FUCK AWAY
Klah: haul ass
Nobody Important (GM): ((MUAHAHAHAHA))
Jermiah Tombill: RUN
Nobody Important (GM): Athletics+Robustness or Agility, anyone?
Jermiah Tombill: ITS GONNA BE FULL OF WASPS
Kapi: RUN TO THE HILLS
Klah: Speed 24 dont fail me now
Jermiah Tombill: THAT ARE ACTUALLY FLYS
Hivan: rolling 5D6K3+12+5
(3+5+1+4+1)+12+5= 29
Kapi: Will point
Hivan: OH, i USE A POWER
Kapi: rolling 5d6k3+20
(4+6+6+1+1)+20= 36
Hivan: Steel Drivin'
Nobody Important (GM): Kapi fucking takes OFF down the corridor, Sax Snake on their shoulders.
Kapi: RUUUUN TO THE HILLS
Klah: rolling 5d6k3+17
(1+2+5+6+4)+17= 32
Kapi: RUN FOR YOU LIIIIFE
Hans Olo: yeah, also running, use athletics+Agileity?
Klah: Speed 24 pls save me
Hivan: [Steel Drivin' just says I get a "Huge bonus to non-combat physical acts of strength"]
Hans Olo: rolling 5d6k3+14
(3+5+3+6+1)+14= 28
Nobody Important (GM): It works, Hivan.
Hivan: [how much is "huge"?]
Kapi: (I used that on bart, I gave it a +4 bonus)
Nobody Important (GM): It was +5 IIRC
Kapi: (maybe not enough)
(Ah)
Hivan: [considering trying to stop the rock, how big is it?]
Nobody Important (GM): Well, Hans makes the unfortunate mistake of looking behind himself to see the boulder starting to roll down after them.
It's at least twice as tall as he is, and nearly perfectly circular.
Hivan: okay, fuck this
doing this for you Hans
MIGHTY FLEX!
I try to stop the boulder
Klah: [you will bee remembered]
Hans Olo: Activating An Impressive Performance to start my theme music.
Sax Snake: STRONG SAX 2nd MOVEMENT
rolling 5d6k3+24
(5+1+4+5+1)+24= 38
Nobody Important (GM): That's a +5 bonus to Hivan.
Sax Snake: subtract one on that
Hans Olo: oh, maybe not
Nobody Important (GM): Okay, test me Robustness+Athletics.
Hivan: rolling 5d6k3+12+3+5+5
(6+4+3+4+3)+12+3+5+5= 39
Nobody Important (GM): Well.
Hivan: that includes both those bonuses
Nobody Important (GM): That's not QUITE enough to stop the boulder rolling, but you manage to avoid being squashed somehow.
Hivan: I release a manly scream at the boulder
as I try to slow it
Nobody Important (GM): You're now sort of jogging on the surface of the boulder, slowing it's descent but still rolling downhill.
Hans Olo: We got space to run to?
Hivan: Great stupid idea!
can I slow it with my sticky honey?
Nobody Important (GM): Yes. Spend 3 charges of Honey on it.
Klah: HoneyHoney yis
Kapi: In the meantime i'm still bolting downward like my ass is on fire.
Hivan: okay
have 7 left
Nobody Important (GM): As long as you're holding it right there it won't roll, but as soon as you let go it's starting up again.
Hans Olo: FLEEING
Klah: I am right along with Kapi
Hivan: RUN, MY CHILD!!!
Nobody Important (GM): The rest of you are in no rush anymore, and make it to the small (~4 foot high) crawlspace to get through.
Sax Snake: That is a comfortable size for me
I will go first
Hivan: I drop the border, and run away as it speeds up
Kapi: I'm okay with that.
Klah: slightly cramped but nothing too bad
Hivan: once everyone is cleared
and safe
Nobody Important (GM): Test me Robustness+Athletics.
The crawl is only 15 feet, but the tension makes it feel a LOT longer than it actually is.
Hivan: rolling 5d6k3+12+3
(1+3+3+3+1)+12+3= 24
and is it still slowed by honey once I let it go?
Nobody Important (GM): Yes, which gives you enough time to escape, but you lose a few workers to it.
A tragedy.
Hivan: They will be missed
Hans Olo: THEIR SACRIFICE WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN
Sax Snake: Can we hold a candlelight vigil for the lost workers?
Hans Olo: So, what room are we in now?
Hivan: I hold a funeral for them in my left pauldron for the next five minutes
just in case you guys were wondering
Nobody Important (GM): You're in a small room.
There's stuff in here! Glorious stuff!
Sax Snake: HURRAH
Klah: Stuff
Nobody Important (GM): It's packed with golden treasures, boxes, murals, etc.
Hivan: I love stuff!
Sax Snake: Wait
Nobody Important (GM): Extremely dusty stuff.
Hivan: ooh
Sax Snake: Ape man do you still have the pole?
Kapi: (rustling intensifies)
I always carry TWO.
Sax Snake: good
touch one of the things with the pole
and make sure the exit is clear
Nobody Important (GM): There's a door, but it's behind a large stone... something.
The dust makes it hard to tell what it is.
If you had to guess; statue?"
Touching the stuff with the pole makes the goblet clatter to the ground, but otherwise does nothing.
Sax Snake: Always check yerself
fore you rek urself
Klah: "Lets get the door clear then start gathering up what we can"
Kapi: I get close to the statue and inspect it WITHOUT TOUCHING IT.
Nobody Important (GM): It... looks like a person.
Not Ramseseseses XVII, but a soldier.
Hivan: I look for anything magical, particularly if it is based on light or sun magic
Hans Olo: A tiny golden person with a massive head?
Nobody Important (GM): It's a bit bigger than you'd expect.
Possibly a sarcophagus for a royal guard?
Klah: "Can it be moved?"
Nobody Important (GM): This is the room for the treasures that a pharaoh would take with them to the afterlife.
Kapi: Let's see if the murals can tell us something more.
Klah: Klah will begin inspecting the various treasures
Nobody Important (GM): Okay. Insight+Sensibility, please Kapi
Also from Klah.
Kapi: Dang.
Nobody Important (GM): Hivan and Hans are still holding a funeral service for the workers.
Kapi: Why is it never intelligence + sensibility?
Klah: rolling 3d6+12
(5+4+5)+12= 26
Hivan: oh, no, the service is tiny
Kapi: rolling 3d6+10
(4+1+1)+10= 16
Hivan: bee-sized
it is inside my left pauldron
so I can still do shit
Nobody Important (GM): Because that's two stats, kapi.
Kapi: Meant +insight
Hans Olo: rolling 3d6+12
(6+6+6)+12= 30
Sax Snake: I will help Kapi
Nobody Important (GM): usually Insight is associated with Sensibility, and I don't think we've ever used it for anything else.
Hans Olo: DAMN
Nobody Important (GM): OOOOOOHHHHH
Hivan: DAMN!
Nobody Important (GM): PERFECT ROLL
Hans Olo: CRITICAL SUCCESS
Klah: got there
Nobody Important (GM): Well, Hans, you can tell that this is probably not stuff you should be touching.
Sax Snake: NO NEED TO HELP
Kapi: Dang.
Hivan: CRITICAL FINDING SHIT
Sax Snake: See, told you
don't touch the thing
Nobody Important (GM): This is stuff personally important to the pharaoh, as well as a few coffins that probably contain guardians who will attack you if you take them.
Hivan: I search for anything magical, particularly based on sun or light imagery.
Nobody Important (GM): Nothing in here.
Hans Olo: "Have you guys ever heard of the Cave of Wonders, and what happened when you touched stuff in it?"
Nobody Important (GM): Probably in the funeral chamber, which is the next one after this if you know your egyptology.
Kapi: Vvvvvaguely.
Hans Olo: "I'm getting the same sort of vibe from this place."
Hivan: "Let's keep going
Klah: "Then how are we supposed to get any of it out"
Turnop: ((Loot everything.))
Hivan: "
Kapi: "Wait, you were in the cave of wonders?"
Sax Snake: My cousin worked in the cave of wonders
the guy was an inssssufferable prick though
Kapi: "Can't choose your family, man".
Hans Olo: "I met a guy who had been in there once......his monkey bungled the whole thing."
Hivan: I can
Kapi: "bah, monkeys."
Nobody Important (GM): The door is behind this sarcophagus
Kapi: Let's start working on the exit anyway.
Sax Snake: How inconvenient
Nobody Important (GM): The trick will be moving it without awakening the vengeful dead in there.
Sax Snake: can we ask them to move?
Klah: "we're going to need to move the sarcophagus, will moving it ALSO piss off everything?"
"Because if so we might as well grab some of this as well"
Sax Snake: Wait, will they be okay with dynamiting the wall around them?
Hivan: "Wait"
Sax Snake: I mean, it's not like they're guarding the wall
Nobody Important (GM): That's...
Hivan: "I say we try to reason with them"
Nobody Important (GM): Probably technically correct, but I think you're underestimating the blast radius of dynamite.
Hivan: ((Murderhobo Genius!))
Klah: "They arent even alive"
Sax Snake: Snakes do not have extensive explosive knowledge
Kapi: "Reason with a vengeful living dead who sees us as nothing more than intruders?"
Klah: "We are literally graverobbing"
Sax Snake: Graveborrowing
Kapi: "Treasure-hunting, please".
Hivan: "Use logic. Say we are protecting it from the Doktor"
Sax Snake: Also, what about the german guy?
Hans Olo: "and not giving back."
Hivan: "Fuck it"
Klah: "With our luck he'll have set up shop outside and taken the rest of the expedition hostage"
Sax Snake: Wait, hold on
Hivan: Just tie a rope around the coffins so they can't open
Sax Snake: the cheetah lady
don't they have a cat lady as a god?
Kapi: (For the love of god don't give Nob ideas)
Nobody Important (GM): You'll give it back! just after you die!
Kapi: I have rope!
Hivan: [The cat lady is named Bast]
Klah: "Lets tie up the statue then, see if that works, cant hurt"
Sax Snake: [Sax Snake doesn't know that]
Kapi: Let's hogtie this baby!
Nobody Important (GM): There's 3 of them.
Sax Snake: Okay, so plan a is tie up the coffin
Kapi: babies*
Sax Snake: plan b is convince them Klah is Bast
Nobody Important (GM): You've got barely enough rope to tie all three coffins without moving them.
Hivan: "okay, tie up one of them, I'll knock down one"
Kapi: Ok.
Which one is the most dangerous-looking?
Klah: "I am"
Kapi: Do they have markings for identification or something?
Sax Snake: start with the one closest to the door
Klah: [misread that, ignore me]
Sax Snake: he obviously has the most important job
Hivan: Well, I have to push the one in the middle no matter what, so we can get to the door
Sax Snake: and therefore is the most dangerous
Nobody Important (GM): The one in front of the door has the most markings.
Kapi: Do they say something interesting?
Klah: 'here lies this dead asshole'
Kapi: rolling 4d6k3+17
(1+5+2+1)+17= 25
Nobody Important (GM): They don't really say anything other than their names, which are pretty boring all things consider.
considered*
The rest is just artistic nonsense.
Klah: No Namehotep III
Nobody Important (GM): Guard-Captain Imokh is the one in the fanciest coffin.
Kapi: Okay, tying up the big man then.
Hivan: I have to move that one
Kapi: Once i'm done I give hivan the signal.
Hivan: so tie up the other one
Nobody Important (GM): Test me athletics+Robustness when you want to move it.
Kapi: Trying to type another one.
tie*
Hivan: rolling 5d6k3+12+3
(4+3+6+4+2)+12+3= 29
Nobody Important (GM): Good enough.
The coffin clatters to the floor and you hear moaning from within.
"T-Tresspasssersss!!!"
"RELEASE ME"
Sax Snake: No
Klah: "No"
Sax Snake: go away
Turnop: ((You have been banned from /tg/ for posting >>36533040, a violation of Global Rule 7:
Submitting false or misclassified reports, or otherwise abusing the reporting system may result in a ban. Replying to a thread stating that you've reported or "saged" it, or another post, is also not allowed.
Your ban was filed on December 2nd, 2014 and expires on December 3rd, 2014 at 20:33 ET, which is 23 hours and 30 minutes from now.
Turnop: According to our server, your IP is: 24.94.98.193. The name you were posting with was Anonymous.
Because of the short length of your ban, you may not appeal it. Please check back when your ban has expired. ))
((edit that shit out just needed to post that lel.))
Klah: wat
Kapi: WTF
Turnop: ((I actually don't know.))
Nobody Important (GM): "B-but.... I need to defend my lord's tomb or he'll never notice me...."
Hivan: WTF?
Hans Olo: Woman's voice?
Nobody Important (GM): ((Apparently I got banned back in august for shitposting on MU, which is interesting because i don't go on /mu/
Nah, it's a dude.
Klah: "We'll handle the defending, you rest"
Hans Olo: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY
Kapi: "He's pretty dead dude."
Nobody Important (GM): "well if you didn't notice so am I."
Sarge: [Wait what's this about bans and shit]
Hivan: I intimidate the guard to get him to respect our power
Nobody Important (GM): "Now, I'm gonna get out of here in a few minutes, and then youuuul be sorry...."
Sax Snake: >senpai
Kapi: "Then why do you still obsess about him?"
Nobody Important (GM): "Because.... he's a god?"
Klah: "Hes actually probably just a corpse"
Kapi: "Last time I checked gods are immortal. It's pretty much the first requisite."
Hivan: "We didn't release you, not because we fear you, but because it would waste our time"
Nobody Important (GM): Harsh, dude.
Sax Snake: [Plays silly song at him]
Kapi: "Yeah, there are some bad men coming, literal graverobbers, and we gotta stop them, and we need your KILL ALL TRESPASSERS routine like a nail in the head."
Nobody Important (GM): "Oh cut the crap, You're graverobbers too. I can smell the murder and lack of a home on you."
"Now, let me just... break this place of eternal rest..."
Sax Snake: We're just in between jobs right now
Kapi: "I'm a TREASURE HUNTER damnit!"
Nobody Important (GM): Well.
6+6+5+14 = 31 to break free.
Hivan: "But we can destroy you easily, so you can defend your king better by not trying to fight us"
Kapi: To hell with this asshole, let's just open the door.
Hans Olo: "You'll still die if I shoot you in the head, right?"
Nobody Important (GM): The coffin explodes like something out of WWE and a very disgruntled armored mummy is now lying on the ground.
"TRESSPASSSSSSERS!"
Sax Snake: Klah, plan b?
Klah: [i dont speak snake]
Nobody Important (GM): The other coffins try to have their lids burst off, but are currently tied up.
Hans Olo: "Time to find out."
Sax Snake: Kapi, tell klah about plan b
Kapi: "he asked if you have a plan B".
Hans Olo: Surprise round on his?
Hivan: [Fuck, forgot that undead can't be intimidated]
Sax Snake: it was a good one
Kapi: Surprise round so?
Nobody Important (GM): Nah, no surprise round.
You're both aware that a fight is about to happen.
Hans Olo: INITIATIVE THEN
Nobody Important (GM): Roll initiative!
Klah: how do I initiative
Hans Olo: rolling 5d6k3+11
(3+4+6+1+6)+11= 27
Kapi: rolling 5d6k3+12
(5+3+2+4+4)+12= 25
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 3d6+8
(2+5+4)+8= 19
Hivan: rolling 3d6+4
(2+2+5)+4= 13
Sax Snake: 4d6k3+12
damn
Klah: is it speed based
Hivan: Agi
Sax Snake: rolling 4d6k3+12
(5+5+3+5)+12= 27
Nobody Important (GM): Agi+agi roll
Klah: agix2?
Kapi: Just agi
Nobody Important (GM): nah, just (xd6+agi)
Hivan: no, just agi
Klah: rolling 5d6k3+12
(5+2+5+3+5)+12= 27
Sax Snake: (I forget, how immune are undead to mind control?)
Hivan: (very)
Nobody Important (GM): ((extremely.))
Sax Snake: oh
Nobody Important (GM): Okay, going by initiative order we've got Hans first
Sax Snake: damn
out goes plan c
Hivan: (can't even reason with them or intimidate them)
Kapi: "You have a plan D?"
Hans Olo: SHOOTAN TIME
Klah: 3 of us have the same init lol
Sax Snake: How do mummies react to poison?
Hans Olo: rolling 5d6k3+19
(5+6+5+1+4)+19= 35
rolling 5d6k3+19
(2+6+4+2+2)+19= 31
Nobody Important (GM): Probably immune to poison.
Sax Snake: Oh
Hans Olo: CAP THAT SUCKER
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 5d6k3+20
(2+5+5+5+5)+20= 35
Sax Snake: well I'm at plan e at this point
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 5d6k3+20
(1+6+1+6+2)+20= 34
Ignored.
He pointedly ignores the rounds you put in his head.
Hans Olo: Wait, I get first one
Nobody Important (GM): "If you apologize now I may, may make your deaths swift."
Right, you do, my bad.
One strike on the captain mummy.
Klah is up.
Klah: [hes a hero, gonna take graverobbers downt o zero]
so quick question, my trait combo
do i know if I can use it or not?
Nobody Important (GM): Works. He's got Agi 4.
Klah: nice
Nobody Important (GM): I mean come on he's a mummy.
Klah: which means my other trait is active as well
Nobody Important (GM): He ain't fast.
Klah: gonan spear him twice
Nobody Important (GM): Okay.
Klah: rolling 5d6k3+20
(4+5+1+5+5)+20= 35
rolling 5d6k3+20
(5+6+6+3+4)+20= 37
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 5d6k3+20
(1+2+5+3+6)+20= 34
Hit.
rolling 5d6k3+20
(5+1+3+4+1)+20= 32
Another hit.
"Damn spear-wielding Nubians, never should have trusted them..."
"Taking our jobs and our women...."
Klah: "Apologize now, and I might make your death swift"
Nobody Important (GM): "I'm already dead you git!"
Klah: "Clearly not dead enough"
Nobody Important (GM): Sax Snake is up.
Kapi: Sing us a mighty warsong!
Sax Snake: right
roll 5d6k3+23
damn
rolling 5d6k3+23
(1+2+1+1+2)+23= 28
wow
my funk is way off
Nobody Important (GM): Well.
That's still +4 to all offensive rolls.
Hans Olo: Geez, what did you do to piss off the dice gods?
Sax Snake: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAhHNCfA7NI
Nobody Important (GM): you've got one action left, if you want to try something against mr. bandages.
Sax Snake: This is the best I can muster
Uh
Do social strikes work on him??
Nobody Important (GM): Nah.
He's undead and resolute in his cause.
Sax Snake: Ah
Uh
Klah: also does he speak snake
Sax Snake: I'll give a roll anyway
Nobody Important (GM): He probably should, but Intimidate doesn't need a lnaguage to work.
Sax Snake: I tell him that senpai will never notice him
rolling 5d6K3+17
(4+3+3+4+4)+17= 29
Nobody Important (GM): "I'm the captain of his guard. I think he notices me."
Kapi is up.
Sax Snake: Hah
gaaaay
Klah: "You were just complaining about him not noticing you"
Nobody Important (GM): "That's... shut up!"
Kapi: "Say I'm a treasure hunter. SAY IT".
Also unsheat swords
Nobody Important (GM): Have a go at him?
Kapi: I'm giving him a chance
Hivan: just do it
Kapi: "SAY IT YOU GIGANTIC BANDAGED FAGGOT!"
sCREW IT.
Bladedance is a go.
Nobody Important (GM): "NEVER YOU FILTHY SLAUGHTERVAGRANT"
Kapi: "RaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
rolling 5d6k3+29
(3+5+5+1+3)+29= 42
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 5D6K3+20
(4+2+1+5+6)+20= 35
Kapi: rolling 5d6k3+29
(1+6+6+6+3)+29= 47
Nobody Important (GM): One strike.
rolling 5d6k3+20
(6+2+6+6+2)+20= 38
Kapi: rolling 5d6k3+29
(6+3+4+6+4)+29= 45
Hivan: +29? damn
Nobody Important (GM): Another strike.
rolling 5d6k3+20
(4+3+4+4+5)+20= 33
Two strikes.
That's four in total.
He ain't lookin' so good, but he's still up.
Klah: 5
one of Hans' hit
and i hit twice
Hivan: I am prepared to take him down
Nobody Important (GM): He's taken 7 in total.
Klah: 7?
Nobody Important (GM): Yep.
2 from Klah.
1 from Hans
Kapi: He's a though cookie.
Nobody Important (GM): 4 from Kapi.
((he's Inner Circle))
Klah: ooooh
Hivan: I'm just waiting for my chance to take the fucker down
Klah: also wait how did Kapi hit 4 times ._.
Nobody Important (GM): 1 +1 +2 from 10 over his Prevent Harm
He's up.
Imotkh the Unliving is going to stand up and look at you poor unfortunate souls.
Hivan: I bellow a challenge at him in defiance
Nobody Important (GM): You can see his rotted teeth stretch into a smile.
Kapi: Prevent Harm.
Sax Snake: Should we go ahead and make our choice?
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 5d6k3+23
(4+4+2+6+2)+23= 37
Kapi: rolling 5d6k3+18
(5+5+2+3+6)+18= 34
Ouch
Nobody Important (GM): One strike as a blade dances too close to you.
rolling 5d6k3+23
(6+5+3+6+5)+23= 40
Prevent Harm for me.
Kapi: rolling 5d6k3+18
(3+6+4+2+4)+18= 32
Nobody Important (GM): One more strike.
With his last action he lets out a bellow and pounds his chest, choking dust filling the air.
-2 to all actions till the end of next round, and the other mummies burst free of their coffins.
Hans Olo: -2 for everyone?
Sax Snake: Hey, stop that you gay piece of toilet paper, that's my ride!
Hivan: I'm up, right?
Nobody Important (GM): Yep and yep.
Hans is up.
wait, no
Hivan is up, my bad.
Hivan: Hans?
Okay, good
Roaring with all the rage I can, I leap to the defense of Kapi and attack the captain
((using Protector on Kapi, gives +4 to both of us))
Hans Olo: MAKE LIKE SCARABS ON HIM
Sax Snake: HIVAN DO THE THING
Klah: [i just now realized i should have had 4 attack as well, oh well!]
Hivan: rolling 5d6k3+12+9+4+4-2
(3+1+4+3+5)+12+9+4+4-2= 39
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 5d6k3+20
(1+4+4+6+2)+20= 34
Hit.
Once more!
Hivan: rolling 5d6k3+12+9+4+4-2
(4+4+4+6+1)+12+9+4+4-2= 41
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 5d6k3+20
(4+6+3+4+1)+20= 34
He stares for a moment at the bee-saber in his chest.
"But... you're just a guy made out of bees...."
Sax Snake: that's gotta sting
Nobody Important (GM): "Senpai, why?"
He crumbles into dust.
The other two mummies burst free from their roped coffins!
They look a bit surprised that their boss is already dead.
well, dead-er.
Kapi: Goodbye rope.
Klah: Funeral for the rop when
Nobody Important (GM): Later.
After the mummies are dead.
Hans is up!
Hans Olo: (hey, Dread, I've had a thought sometime earlier: you remember that one piece of writefaggotry that involved Lazarus' wedding? Doesn't it mean that he's got thousands of half-human half-fae kiddies running around Central Europe?)
Let's see, what's a good line......
Sax Snake: (where do you think all those spiders came from? ;))
Nobody Important (GM): ((Hundreds of thousands. They're all also part spider. Mostly spider.))
Klah: [god i hate spiders]
Hans Olo: "Don't you know anything? The only two things in life you can count on are death and taxes.....and I'm not the taxman."
rolling 5d6k3+21
(3+5+1+6+5)+21= 37
rolling 5d6k3+21
(1+2+4+5+1)+21= 32
Nobody Important (GM): Three strikes on the Lackey badguys.
One goes down, moaning before he stops moving.
The other just looks tired and confused.
Klah is up.
Klah: twirling spear and stabity stab
rolling 5d6k3+20
(4+4+6+2+3)+20= 34
rolling 5d6k3+20
(3+2+6+4+4)+20= 34
rolling 5d6k3+20
(1+5+3+3+4)+20= 32
rolling 5d6k3+20
(1+4+5+4+1)+20= 33
Nobody Important (GM): Kill confirmed on the other.
You stab him back into his coffin and shut it.
It doesn't open again.
Klah: "Rest well"
"That was decidedly less threatening than it could have been"
Kapi: I spit on the captain's dustpile and set it on fire with my torch.
Or attempt to at least.
Nobody Important (GM): The dust burns with a blue flame briefly before sputtering out.
Sax Snake: It'll probably harder with all the spit on it
Klah: Klah will gather up any particularly nice looking jewlery, put some in ehr bag, and some on herself.
Kapi: "Ha! Get noticed now asshole!"
Hivan: I open the door from behind the sarcophagus
after taking some loot
Nobody Important (GM): The door pulls open with a heavy rumble
How much loot we talkin'?
Sax Snake: All of it
Kapi: I take some small trinket that could sell well to a museum.
Hans Olo: All that I can carry without impeding myself in combat.
Kapi: The most valuable looking ( I have a trait for this)
Hivan: as much as I can carry, taking whatever Kapi is eyeing
Klah: Klah prefers the more shiny objects first, then anything she can tell is valuble, then anything that looks good
Hans Olo: Oh, so do I
Nobody Important (GM): Alright. Each of you can carry ~20lbs of weight in gold without hindering yourself.
This is suprisingly little, but gold is heavy as fuck.
Klah: does that count any jewlery Klah is now actively wearing?
Nobody Important (GM): Nope.
Klah: nice
Nobody Important (GM): You can take the jewelry if you want.
Gaudy as fuck though.
Hans Olo: ALL OF IT
Sax Snake: Are there any instruments?
Hivan: I take a lot of gems, but also gold
Sax Snake: I want to add some other snakes to my band
Hivan: oh, yes, are there any weapons?
Klah: dont give a fuck, im fancy now
Hans Olo: Oh, and evaluating value of shit. How do you judge value of jewelry?
Kapi: Right, weapons.
Swords especially.
Nobody Important (GM): Depends on what you're selling
and yes, there are weapons.
The Captain's weapons were specifically fine bronze swords.
Hans Olo: ah, I'll just roll straight int plus Diamond IN THe Rough
Nobody Important (GM): Unfortunately, they were bronze so they're just slightly better than average quality
Hivan: I take them and try them out to evaluate them
Hans Olo: rolling 3d6+9
(2+4+6)+9= 21
Hivan: [would evaluating weapons be Sensibility+Melee?]
Nobody Important (GM): [you could make an argument for that.]
Okay, well, Hans you think the valuable stuff is probably the gold encrusted with some gems.
Hivan: [because I'm not worrying about anything but their martial ability]
rolling 4d6+12+6
(6+3+2+3)+12+6= 32
oh, that shouuld be 30
not 32
Nobody Important (GM): Swords look good.
Captain's are probably magical, but you can't tell without holding them.
Klah: ohshit
Hivan: I picked them up and swung them around to test them
Kapi: Gonna roll int+occult to see if I can identify the enchantment
Hivan: that's boring, I pick them up and risk consequences
Kapi: rolling 4d6k3+18
(6+5+4+6)+18= 35
Nobody Important (GM): Well, they're made to sap the energy of the living and deliver a pleasing warm sensation when they do so.
Not really cursed, but usually extremely uncomfortable to hold due to their coldness.
Kapi: Gonna take one of those.
Hivan: [can my check of 30 tell me what their bonus is?]
Nobody Important (GM): (They give +3 each, +4 against a Living target)
Klah: [seems good]
Sax Snake: That sounds super evil
i'll take twelve
Nobody Important (GM): ((AGAINST THE LIVING))
Hivan: I'll take one. My great sword is legitimately pretty great, but these seem better
Kapi: also rolling int to evaluate the gems.
Hivan: are there any nice-looking axes in the tomb?
Nobody Important (GM): Nah, not really an egyptian thing, axes.
Kapi: rolling 4d6k3+13
(5+3+4+1)+13= 25
Nobody Important (GM): More of a filthy nubian thing.
Hivan: Racist asshole. I liked the idea of a sword and an axe
Nobody Important (GM): Kapi; The gems are of generally low quality, but have been polished and cut well.
Probably good price on the market, but moreso due to their age and origin than anything.
Kapi: Eh, gonna take a handful, dump them in a museum.
Hans Olo: We've gone full butchernomad.
Hivan: I stick to my strategy of stealing the things Kapi takes some of
Klah: "IT was bound to happen sooner or later"
Kapi: (point sword) "TREASURE. HUNTERS."
Hivan: "NO."
"I ACCEPT THIS
Hans Olo: Whatever helps you sleep at night.
Hivan: I AM... A BUTCHERWANDERER!"
Klah: "nomad"
Hans Olo: So, I presume that we've all loaded ourselves up with loot, so now I'm taking a curious peak at whatever these guys were guarding.
Nobody Important (GM): Door's waiting.
It's.... curiously plain.
Hivan: okay, go into the door
Kapi: (string of muttered curses in monkey-speak, focusing on the presumed career choice of both their mothers and the number of sailors they receive every night.)
Nobody Important (GM): Also not like, locked or sealed or anything.
Klah: "Traps ahoy"
Hivan: just throw it open
then dive to the side
Kapi: Ready to bolt.
Nobody Important (GM): The door slides open slowly, you need to force it to get it to move.
No trap or anything, just leading into a... very large and open chamber.
Sax Snake: "Oh good, the doorman got it for us"
Klah: Send in the bees?
Nobody Important (GM): There's a single propped up sarcophagus here, and murals adorn the walls.
Sefton: (Aren't those weird curved egyptian swords sooort of kinda skinny axes? They're certainly made for choppin')
Nobody Important (GM): ((Kinda, but i'm making things up as I go))
Hivan: I walk insode
Hans Olo: Analysing murals.
Insight?
Kapi: Always examine the murals. Always.
Nobody Important (GM): There's stuff on tables near the walls, but not much else.
Klah: "Is that the 'god''s sarcophogus?"
Nobody Important (GM): Insight+Sensibility or Linguistics+Intelligence
Hans Olo: rolling 3d6+12
(3+3+3)+12= 21
Nobody Important (GM): It's made of gold, or at least gold plated, so probably.
Sax Snake: rolling 3d6+11
(6+3+2)+11= 22
Hivan: rolling 4d6k3+18
(4+3+1+6)+18= 31
Kapi: rolling 4d6k3+17
(5+2+4+3)+17= 29
Nobody Important (GM): The murals detail the Pharaoh Ramseseseses XVII's life
From his birth, to his fairly boring rule, to his death.
Klah: rolling 3d6+12
(1+1+3)+12= 17
Nobody Important (GM): Mostly cleaning up the shit his father fucked up.
Fucking Ramseseseses XVI
What a dick.
Sax Snake: Goddamn it
fucking ass
Hivan: Klah: "Is there a mural here?" (rolling a fucking 17)
Hans Olo: He can Rameses it up his ass!
Klah: im too busy being fancy to notice shit
Nobody Important (GM): It does mention a lot of stuff about his godhood, etc
But there's a lot of just... still life stuff in here.
Hivan: what kind of still lifes?
Nobody Important (GM): Of like, people, animals, people at work, etc.
It's a historical treasure trove!
Klah: "They probably want some of this"
Hivan: I look around for magic items, particularly anything relating to the sun
or instruments or weapons
Nobody Important (GM): Well, there's a reference to his burial mask glowing like the sun
Kapi: Weapons, yes. More weapons.
Nobody Important (GM): Lots of instruments, but most of them are decayed beyond recognition
No weapons in here.
Sax Snake: I take the ones that are still good
"This is gonna be so sweet"
Hans Olo: Few solid metal instruments then.
Kapi: Let's examine the sarcophagus then. From a safe distance.
Klah: [inb4 crit fail on anything thats nto a sax]
Nobody Important (GM): The sarcophagus is surprisingly free of dust
It's also painted, rather than carved.
Most of it has flaked off but there's enough to see an older man's worn but still handsome face on it.
Sax Snake: Give it a poke with the pole
Hivan: "Okay, comrades. I must risk opening his tomb to get the mask, for it is why I came here. This is risky, but the mask could hold the key to freeing my homeland from the Lord of Night
Klah: "Do what now"
Hivan: You may leave if you wish, for this is my fight"
Hans Olo: "I'm in too deep to leave now."
Kapi: Is there any chance the pharaoh would call me a murderhobo?
Hivan: "He probably already has"
Klah: "He probably is right now"
Kapi: I'm gonna go APESHIT on his ass.
Sax Snake: "I must see that the snakes make their exodus"
Hivan: "This, my friends is where HEROES are born
Nobody Important (GM): It's not like there's another exit.
There's a boulder in your way back.
Sax Snake: >5 sticks of dynamite
we have whatever exit we need
Nobody Important (GM): >likely to drop the walls on you, or the ceiling
Klah: or both
Hivan: That would crush you with rubble
Nobody Important (GM): Also did you forget about the snakes you need to lead to the Promised Land of New Yoak?
Sax Snake: Obviously not
Hivan: I open the sarcophagus
Sax Snake: That is the most important part
Klah: "here we go"
Sax Snake: I'm not even sure why we're messing around with this mummy person
Kapi: "Treasure and fame".
Nobody Important (GM): There is a.... surprisingly well preserved mummy in here wearing a golden funeral mask with a radius around it like the shining sun.
Hans Olo: *gun cocking intensifies*
Nobody Important (GM): Glowing red eyes can be faintly seen through pinprick holes in the mask.
Klah: "thats really bright"
Nobody Important (GM): It steps carefully out.
"So, who are you then?"
Hivan: I am a wanderer
Klah: "Well you are suprisingly pleasent"
Hans Olo: "Guess."
Nobody Important (GM): ((Entire room lit up by the brightness of his mask))
He turns to look at Hans.
Sax Snake: Damn, that's a shiny face
Kapi: "Treasure hunters! Come to make you famous!"
Nobody Important (GM): "Surprisingly poorly dressed descendants?"
Hivan: "I believe that your mask could hold the key to freeing my homeland"
Nobody Important (GM): "A... guy made of bees?"
Sax Snake: "I'm taking your snakes away, you monster"
Hivan: It is true
Nobody Important (GM): He blinks. "What snakes?"
Sax Snake: "They deserve to be free"
"... In the pit?
the snake pit?"
Hivan: "there was a pit of snakes in your tomb"
Klah: "right around the... i hazard to say entrance"
Nobody Important (GM): "Oh. Well, I didn't actually plan my tomb, my captain of the guard did that. After I died."
Hans Olo: "Yeah, he was a dick."
Hivan: "Yeah, we met him..."
Sax Snake: "Aha, well that takes care of that little problem"
Klah: "He was not a particularly pleasant unliving man, quite the obesession with you"
Nobody Important (GM): "Let me guess, you killed him." He sighs. "Raising him from the dead again is going to be such a pain..."
Kapi: "Pleasant guy. He's on vacation now though".
Nobody Important (GM): "Anyway, you're tomb-robbers or treasure hunters, right? Can I give my little speech before we get down to business?"
Sax Snake: "As long as it isn't mummy curses or anything like that"
Hivan: "We attempted to just hold him in his coffin, but the little guy was persistant"
Kapi: "Could you NOT get down to business and just follow us to the nearest museum?"
Nobody Important (GM): "Mummy curses are an unfortunate stereotype. #notallmummies."
"Anyway, I'd recommend standing back then, good sir Bees, as I'm going to be waving around for a bit here.
Hivan: I do so
Nobody Important (GM): "Ahem."
Kapi: (safe distance intensifies)
Nobody Important (GM): He takes a wide stance, waving his sceptre wildly.
Klah: [oooh sceptre]
Sax Snake: shiny
Klah: [dibs]
Nobody Important (GM): "Oh, foolish heroes, how far you have come merely to meet your own demise! for I am Ramseseseses XVII, lord of the nile, god of the sun, and master of-" The roof explodes with a great crash, and the ceiling collapses on top of him just n time for some smartly dressed men in black leather to jump down. Including a small, thin man with an unpleasant smile in goggles and a nice hat.
Herr Doktor Von Kaiser.
Hivan: I dash to take the mask
Nobody Important (GM): "Hmmm, I knew using the dynamite was a good idea."
Klah: "Oh come on"
Nobody Important (GM): He's currently buried under ~4,000lbs of rubble.
Hans Olo: Surprise round?
Kapi: "VON KAISER! You just destroyed a mummy of incalculable value, you dirty murdervagrant!"
Nobody Important (GM): Nah, he's gonna monologue at you first.
Sefton: (Well, there's the exit)
Nobody Important (GM): Von Kaiser shrugs.
"He was asking for it. He was monologuing. We could hear it from the surface."
Hivan: [don't attack at first. I want to make a monologue of my own]
Nobody Important (GM): "Besides, it's not like we can't dig him out and we're only here for the gold anyway."
Kapi: "Are you implying you're not gonna do the same thing?"
Sax Snake: [are we making monologues now?]
Sefton: (That's not a very just gauze)
Nobody Important (GM): He perks up at the gold you've burdened yourself with. "Oh, goodie, I see you've brought some for me anyway!"
Sefton: (But if he says so)
Nobody Important (GM): He ponders Kapi's words.
"I was considering it, but on reflection, perhaps not. Herr Brackhaus, shoot them."
Hivan: [just seems like a good time to remind people that I store my body, so he can't see it]
Sax Snake: AH
SHIT
Hivan: [*I store my stolen shit in my body]
Hans Olo: HOLD IT\
Klah: "You just hd to call him out on it"
Hans Olo: This is an important detail
Sax Snake: THE HORN OF GONDOR
Kapi: "Yes. Yes I had. I hate hypocrisy."
Hans Olo: Was anyone already pointing a gun at me?
Nobody Important (GM): Roll initiative!
Anyone got Quick Draw?
Kapi: rolling 5d6k3+12
(2+5+3+6+3)+12= 26
Hivan: Fuck you Kapi
Hans Olo: I have a power specifically for these situations
Nobody Important (GM): Yeah, at least two of them are pointing a gun at each of you.
Kapi: ME
Hivan: Fuck you
Sax Snake: rolling 4d6k3+12
(1+2+6+4)+12= 24
Klah: rolling 5d6+12
(3+1+3+6+6)+12= 31
Sefton: (Hans shot first)
Hivan: and your useful advice
Hans Olo: OK, time to use "Yes, I'll Bet You Have."
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 4d6+13
(4+2+2+4)+13= 25
Hivan: rolling 3d6+4
(2+4+5)+4= 15
Nobody Important (GM): whups, 4d6k3
Hans Olo: So I roll Deceit+Agility, they roll Insight+sensibility, if I win I shoot first
Nobody Important (GM): Okay, roll.
Hans Olo: rolling 5d6k3+15
(1+3+4+5+1)+15= 27
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 3d6k3+10
(3+1+2)+10= 16
You shoot first.
Hans Olo: rolling 5d6k3+19
(4+1+5+5+1)+19= 33
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 3d6+7
(2+4+2)+7= 15
Sax Snake: Wow these guys are slow as shit
Nobody Important (GM): Hans shoots one of them dead in the chest and he goes down like a rock.
Hans Olo: "Sorry about the mess."
Nobody Important (GM): You hear a faint wilhelm scream.
((Hans, I need Initiative from you.))
Hans Olo: rolling 5d6k3+11
(4+2+2+5+6)+11= 26
Kapi: I have quick draw too. Can I try to rush one of them?
Nobody Important (GM): Yep.
Kapi is up.
Kapi: rolling 5d6k3+27
(1+2+1+2+4)+27= 35
Nobody Important (GM): There's ~9 mooks here and Herr Doktor Von Kaiser.
Klah: I thought I was up first? Or is that the quickdraw?
Nobody Important (GM): Quickdraw goes first
Kapi: quickdraw.
Nobody Important (GM): That's a clean hit as you jump and knock one off the pile of rubble.
Klah: nice
Kapi: rolling 3d6k3+27
(3+4+5)+27= 39
Nobody Important (GM): Another solid hit on a mook
Kapi: Does the bonus attack from combo apply against mooks?
Nobody Important (GM): You spear him and shove him off the edge
Nah, you don't have enough in reach
Kapi: Dang.
Guess my turn is up then.
surprise turn*
Klah: [is using a power an action?]
Kapi: (no unless the text specifically says so)
Nobody Important (GM): (Not unless specifically mentioned.)
Klah: [cool, and jsut to make sure the powers like Achilies heel take 1 willpower to use right? I dont just automatically get to use them?]
Hivan: [do On-A-Rolls get extra will points?]
Nobody Important (GM): ((Nope.))
[some powers don't take will points, most do.]
Klah: [they do not say they take a will, they just say 'indicate a target']
"Achilles Heel
Identify one target enemy. You are able to spot a crippling weak point. All allied attacks against this enemy get +2 to cause a physical Strike or whatever the terminology is.
Are You Scared?
Identify one character. You are able to discern their greatest fear. All allies get +2 to cause a social Strike."
Nobody Important (GM): Nah, just choose a target.
Can't choose more than one a round.
Klah: k, can i choose 1 for each power?
Nobody Important (GM): Yes.
Klah: k
Nobody Important (GM): ((Pick em and stick some))
Klah: Achilies Heel on 'Herr Brackhaus' and Are You Scared on the good doktor
Hivan: [thank you kindly]
Nobody Important (GM): Herr Brackhaus is a giant of a man, but his armor doesn't fit properly.
Are You Scared: Doktor Von Kaiser is afraid of what his bosses will do to him if he fails.
Sax Snake: (hint: it's snakes)
Klah: Also can I get to the doctor this round with 24 speed?
Hans Olo: SSSSNNNNAAAAAAKE!
Nobody Important (GM): Easily.
that's 24 meters.
Hivan: [I can use ROBUSTNESS to intimidate if I am just dominating someone with a MIGHTY FLEX, right?]
Nobody Important (GM): Yep.
Klah: alright im gonna dart my way through the goona and right up to the doctor
Hans Olo: But I think you need Charm if you're to appeal to Doktor's fear
Klah: got a 9 in it and a 4 intimidate
Kapi: Better than nothing.
Klah: "Doctor dear, I dont think you really want to do this, we've already killed many of the mummies here. What will your men be against us, and what will your bosses think when you come back with not jsut nothing but a loss of equipment"
rolling 4d6k3+13
(5+5+5+1)+13=28
wait 30
forgot my own bonus
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 3d6+14
(6+4+5)+14=29
Hans Olo: Close call
Nobody Important (GM): "Hah. You've got gold, and that's what we're here for. Besides, you don't even know who my employer is, do you?"
Hivan: damn, that was a useful bonus
Nobody Important (GM): Still, he looks rattled.
1 strike
One more action, Klah.
Klah: Can I move to attack the big man? or is one mvoe it?
Nobody Important (GM): If you're next to the Doktor, you can.
Herr Brackhaus is next to him.
Klah: excellent
assuming he has a lower agi than I do
rolling 5d6k3+20
(2+2+4+3+5)+20= 32
rolling 5d6k3+20
(4+2+3+1+2)+20= 29
arg
34 and 31
Nobody Important (GM): His agility is 14, so I doubt it.
He's a smug fucking snake.
Sax Snake: SSSNAKE YOU SAY?
Nobody Important (GM): As opposed to a sax playing snake.
Hans Olo: What, an actual snake?
Klah: ok then my first one was accurate
Nobody Important (GM): He sure looks like a snake, but no. He's just a very pale, lizardlike man.
Klah: and my second irrelevent
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 5d6k3+22
(2+6+4+5+4)+22= 37
rolling 5d6k3+22
(2+4+5+3+2)+22= 34
Two dodges.
Klah: thats me then
Nobody Important (GM): Hans is up.
Hans Olo: Hm....social or shooty.....ah, I'll just shoot the mooks
rolling 5d6k3+19
(5+6+6+4+4)+19=36
rolling 5d6k3+19
(6+2+1+1+4)+19= 31
ALMOST PERFECT HIT
Nobody Important (GM): Blam, blam, blam!
The remaining mooks dive for cover into each other, knocking themselves out.
Just Herr Brackhaus and the Doktor left.
((forgot that On-a-Rolls take out 5 a shot, lol))
Kapi is up again!
Hivan: again?
I still haven't gone once
Kapi: Yup, that was surprise round
Is Brackwurst in range? what's his agi?
Klah: quick draw very stronk... im happy the enemies didnt have it
Sax Snake: Who's up next?
Nobody Important (GM): His agi is 8.
Kapi.
Kapi: Pity.
I still charge him and introduce him to a whirlwind of fur and blades.
rolling 5d6k3+29
(6+5+4+5+6)+29= 46
Nobody Important (GM): Well then.
Kapi: rolling 5d6k34+29
(3+6+2+6+2)+29= 48
Nobody Important (GM): That's four strikes on the lackey.
He goes down under your furry fury
Sefton: (O-o-o-overkill)
Nobody Important (GM): Screaming something about "degenerates" as you literally tear him apart.
Klah: git rekt
Kapi: "Soory, I can't hear you over the sound of all the ribbons I'm cutting you in".
I'm done I think.
Nobody Important (GM): Yep.
Klah: "This is why you don't wear ill fittin armor"
fitting*
Nobody Important (GM): Sax's turn.
Sefton: (I guess you can say he's not a cut above the rest)
(And that he should make it like a tree and cleave)
Nobody Important (GM): Oy, sexy sax snake is up.
Klah: we dont even have sax bonus' yet and the ape just tore apart the lizardman lackey
Nobody Important (GM): They're not... literally lizards
Sax Snake: Sorry my browser kept on crashing the game
Nobody Important (GM): They're just kind of evil-looking.
Sax Snake: right then
two musical interludes
Klah: oh...
Sax Snake: first my standard fightin music
Hivan: "sax, can you give me a tune for scaring the piss out of this fucker?"
Sax Snake: rolling 5d6k3+24
(4+3+1+5+4)+24= 37
Klah: deploying smooth jazz
Nobody Important (GM): +5 to everything!
Wait, it's actually +6!
Well, +6 to Intimidate, anyway.
Sax Snake: And second, played fortississississimo
the horn of gondor
Nobody Important (GM): One more action, Sax.
Sax Snake: rolling 5d6K3+24
(2+3+4+6+6)+24= 40
Sefton: (How do you determine how big the music bonus are?)
Sax Snake: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxopViU98Xo
Sefton: (Just go with TN?)
Kapi: (Every 5 points above the TN I think)
Nobody Important (GM): (20 gives +3, every 5 after that is +1 more)
Sefton: (Aaah. Nice, right)
Nobody Important (GM): Well, that's +7 to Intimidate now.
Sax Snake: Oh, that was to summon the snakes
Nobody Important (GM): You burst out a killer metal sax solo
Sax Snake: It is time
Nobody Important (GM): Snakes come from everywhere! the cracks in the walls, the room behind you, even from above.
Herr Doktor Von Kaiser screams in mortal terror as the snakes swarm towards him.
Sax Snake: AHAHAH BE FREE MY BROTHERS!
Hivan: [damn, my intimidation isn't buffed? or is that just a combat skill covered by the main song?
Nobody Important (GM): (He buffed Intimidate)
Sax Snake: (the first interlude was the intimidate buff)
Klah: [+8 Intimidate between me and snake i believe]
Hivan: [okay, so I have +6? Perfect. Thank you]
Nobody Important (GM): (Yep, Klah is right)
Hivan: [and then +2 from Klah]
Sax Snake: (you are one scary motherfucking hive of bees)
Hivan: [is it my turn yet?]
Hans Olo: Make some remark about venom
Nobody Important (GM): Kaiser is up.
He pulls out a pearl-handled revolver and shoots at Klah.
"This is for ruining! My! Plans!"
rolling 5d6k3+25
(3+1+1+4+5)+25= 37
Sax Snake: Well, it was a group effort, really
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 5d6k3+25
(3+1+2+3+4)+25= 35
rolling 5d6k3+25
(5+6+4+1+1)+25= 40
roll me Prevent Harm, please.
Klah: un momento
agility+prevent harm right?
Kapi: (Faccia pure, prego)
Nobody Important (GM): or robustness+prevent harm
Klah: rolling 5d6k3 18
(5+6+5+5+5)= 16+18
34 36 if hes got less agi than me
rolling 5d6k3+18
(5+3+5+5+3)+18= 33
Nobody Important (GM): He's at agi 14, so I don't think so.
Klah: then 34 and 33
Nobody Important (GM): three physical strikes.
Klah: ouch
Nobody Important (GM): Then it's Hivan's turn.
What's the Hive gonna do?
Hivan: [what's the bonus you get from spending a will point?]
Nobody Important (GM): ((nothing, unless you have a power.)
Hivan: [oh]
in that case
Kapi: (wasn't it +2 or reroll?)
Nobody Important (GM): ((I think it gives rerolls, but no bonuses))
Hivan: I attempt to scare the shit out of this spineless sack dogshit masquerading as a man
rolling 5d6k3+12+13+8
(6+3+1+6+6)+12+13+8= 51
Nobody Important (GM): Go for it.
Klah: get there
Nobody Important (GM): What do you say?
Hivan: well, mainly I rip open my visor, exposing a horrifying mass of bees
Klah: Bee Penance Starew
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 3d6+18
(2+2+5)+18= 27
Oh dear.
Sax Snake: >Hey, that guy's not a guy, he's just BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
Nobody Important (GM): >NOT THE BEES, THEY'RE IN MY EYES
Hivan: then I say that WE ARE BEES AND WE HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nobody Important (GM): (+1 Lesson)
Sax Snake: Snakes, bees
Kapi: Bees. My god.
Sax Snake: Kaiser's having a rough day
Hivan: [Do I get a bonus for beating him by 24?]
Hans Olo: +2 strikes?
Nobody Important (GM): +2 strikes, so that's 3 strikes in total.
One more action.
Hans Olo: ENVELOP HIM IN THE SWARM
Hivan: same fucking thing, but this time, I think I'll have some drones cover his face, just for flavor
Nobody Important (GM): Okay.
rolling 3d6+18
(2+5+3)+18= 28
Hivan: you know, get in his eyes, mouth, nose, any available orifices really
rolling 5d6k3+12+13+8
(5+1+2+4+4)+12+13+8= 46
Hans Olo: SO 2 strikes
Nobody Important (GM): Augh! Not the bees!
Klah is up.
Sefton: (This is fucking golden)
(Honey-golden)
Hivan: Also, I promise to destroy him as I do that, by the way
how many strikes on him?
Nobody Important (GM): You don't know.
Hivan: total?
that we did I mean
Nobody Important (GM): ~6
Hivan: I did 5
Kapi: Five so far.
+1 from Klah right
Klah: yup
Hivan: then 6
I just did 5
3 first attack, 2 second one
Klah: Klahs just gonna stab him, aint nobody shoots her and gets away with it
Sax Snake: Poetic Justice
Hivan: also, I use protector on Klah
so you get +4, and so do I
Klah: nice, just for prevent ahrm or in general?
Hivan: all combat
Klah: rolling 5d6k3+24
(5+6+5+4+5)+24= 40
rolling 5d6k3+24
(2+5+5+2+6)+24= 40
huh
Nobody Important (GM): Well then.
rolling 5d6k3+24
(4+1+1+2+5)+24= 35
rolling 5d6k3+24(2+4+6+5+1)+24= 39
Two strikes.
Sax Snake: Oh man
Nobody Important (GM): He's lookin bad.
Sax Snake: That'll learn him
Nobody Important (GM): Hans is up.
Hans Olo: rolling 5d6k3+19
(4+3+2+4+1)+19= 30
rolling 5d6k3+19
(1+6+6+3+4)+19= 35
Cap his ass.
Nobody Important (GM): rolling 5d6k3+24
(4+6+2+6+4)+24= 40
rolling 5d6k3+24
(1+1+5+2+1)+24= 32
Well, the last one hits.
Dead in the chest.
Hans Olo: Falls back into the snakes?
Nobody Important (GM): He collapses into a pile of snakes, which overwhelm him and begin biting him in the... everything.
Sax Snake: They grow up so fast :')
Sefton: (>Not the snakes! NOT THE SNAKES!)
Klah: Snakes and Bees
Nobody Important (GM): His screams will haunt your dreams forever.
Kapi: "That's for my mummy."
Klah: dude just cant catch a break
"Really?"
Nobody Important (GM): Well, time to loot.
Sax Snake: Shame about the shiny face though
Hans Olo: Hey, we'll dig it out eventually.
Hivan: I start to do so
Klah: same
Kapi: Dibs on magical stuff.
Hivan: It's really the only thing I wanted here
no
Klah: ooh!
Nobody Important (GM): It's uh, coming close to morning outside.
Hivan: Kapi, the mask is mine
Sax Snake: I congratulate the snakes on a job well done
Kapi: Except that dumb mask of course.
Hivan: okay thenj
Sax Snake: Tell them about America!
Nobody Important (GM): They let out a cheer which sounds a lot like sizzling bacon fat on a grand scale.
Klah: Im gonna summon spiritual ancestor to aid me in the search for mystical artifacts
Sax Snake: Where you can be anything you want to be!
And the streets are paved with rats!
Nobody Important (GM): They listen, enraptured.
Sax Snake: NO LONGER MUST YOU LURK IN A SINGLE PIT!
IN AMERICA, YOU CAN HAVE ANY PIT YOU WANT
BIG PITS
SMALL PITS
Nobody Important (GM): This is getting a bit strange.
Sax Snake: SOME AS BIG AS A HEAD
Klah: give em a twist a flick of the wrist?
Sax Snake: Yeah, that's the idea
Nobody Important (GM): Eventually, the workers come by and tell you a fantastical story of how they had been taken captive by some smartly-dressed bandits before the poor people were devoured alive by a swarming wave of serpents.
Kapi: ("I couldn't help but notice you're leaving out all the crocodiles, eagles an snake-hating humans".)
Nobody Important (GM): They help you out with the digging of the pit, but they seem to find the snakes.... disturbing.
Sax Snake: ("details, my simian friend, details)
Klah: Do my spiritual ancestors heed my call!
Hivan: I commence digging for the mask that can free my land
Klah: * (may not actually free his land)
Kapi: i'm still searching for my big discovery.
Klah: Im searching for that sceptre
Kapi: (is now probably a useless flat of metal)
Klah: look if that mask survived...
maybe
also magic
Nobody Important (GM): Scepter is now just a flat gold rod.
Hans Olo: I think I know what Sax's Other Heroic goal is: Lead your people to the promised land.
Nobody Important (GM): Mask is mostly intact. Very dusty.
Hivan: I grab it
Klah: is...is it a magial flat golden rod?
Nobody Important (GM): Nah, it's just a golden rod.
Kapi: "let me have a look at that stuff, I'm an expert."
Klah: ancestors help me
Nobody Important (GM): Generally they didn't bury people with the seriously magical stuff, because the living still needed it.
Hivan: Kapi, is this truly the radiance of the sun?
Kapi: Let's see
(rollin int+occult)
rolling 4d6k3+12+7 = (1+6+4+5)+12+7= 34
Nobody Important (GM): It's certainly very bright, and has been enchanted to shine with daylight.
Hivan: ((The obsession with the mask is because sunlight is Cherry Bong's weakness, and as a former inhabitant of Bald Mountain, my Heroic Goal is to free my land.))
Kapi: "i'm afraid it just shines though".
Hivan: ((Cherry Bomb cannot stand daylight))
Nobody Important (GM): ((Which is why he personally makes the entire land be night.))
Hivan: ((and the mask could be a way around that))
((so if I wore it when confronting him, an ordinarily weak artifact could at least weaken him))
Nobody Important (GM): Anyway, the session ends here, but could easily be continued via a humorous series of anecdotes about bees and snakes getting along for america.
Hivan: ((maybe. Theoretically. If all goes well))
Nobody Important (GM): What did you think of it? I need critique since the campaign starts up soon. Also, would Saturday or Thursday be better for it?
Hivan: Thursdays don't work for me
Sefton: It was pretty fun
Klah: I liked it, im also down for either day if i can get in on that
Hivan: I enjoyed it.
Kapi: Probably Saturday. No classes on sunday.
Sax Snake: >mfw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_4kU9cwgXM
Saturdays would work better for me
Klah: ive had sax guy on
the WHOLE time
Kapi: I liked not being just the combat monster or the charming guy for once.
Sax Snake: Perfect
Yeah, I like the two roll system
Sefton: I'm gonna try to run a game sometime, got any tips?
Kapi: Also the change of background was refreshing.
Nobody Important (GM): Improvisation is more important than planning.
Use mooks liberally.
Lackies less so.
Turnop: Not being able to post on /tg/ for a day is suffering. But it's not long enough for me to reset my router.
Hivan: As long as you can keep combat flowing, it is great
Sefton: How idiotic would it be to try and test a King?
Turnop: Made worse by the fact I was banned for a post that wasn't mine.
Nobody Important (GM): Well, it could be hard but some kings are easily taken out by On-a-roll heroes
Testing Alameda Slim'd be a good start.
Klah: also really depends on the king probably
Sefton: What about a full Hero game?
I've been wanting to test Maleficent
Klah: testing slim, legit. testing hades....
Nobody Important (GM): Easily could take out most minor kings.
some are going to be very, very tough to fight without ~2-3 sessions of prep time.
Sefton: No way Hades is gonna be tested for combat anytime soon, the plan was to release the gods and let them take care right?
Not like he can duke it out with the PCs if they don't challenge him first, it's in the trait
Hivan: Sefton, it would be perfectly reasonable, but you should probably set it up by either giving the heroes the critical information that you should need to take out a king or making them run a simple 2-to-3 session campaign where they can set shit up
Sefton: What sort of set up would it be?
Nobody Important (GM): Explosives.
Turnop: Stealing important things that make him easier.
Nobody Important (GM): There are very few things that explosives can't solve.
Sefton: I like your logic more every day, Nob
Klah: not sure if explosives solve Hades
Kapi: Finding allies, rousing a rebellion.
Klah: but its worth a test
Nobody Important (GM): stockpiling dynamite for 2-3 sessions works too.
Sefton: Well, it worked on Typhon, only that the explosives were lightning bolts and Zeus had to go ask the cyclopses
Nobody Important (GM): Anyway, I'm gonna bin this, edit it, and go to bed because I have a midterm tomorrow.
Hivan: Again, my eternal reference point for that method is Buffy The Vampire Slayer's Season 4 finale, where they just took out the BBEG they had set up all season who had taken a volcano to bring down centuries ago with an entire high school full of explosive
Turnop: Aiight.