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p0n

spaghettiville

p0n
Dec 30th, 2013
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  1. sup guize, i suddenlt feel like telling errpone bout the 4 day long sanity-crushing tahoe trip that made me gay for trap cocaine pon3 horse c0ck
  2. you'll laugh, you'll cry ( with luls at my expense) but i hope you enjoy my story
  3. >greentext style
  4.  
  5. also requesting shots of that glorious cursed thread since all i have is phone screenshots
  6. [spoiler]to remind myself that i'm now a faggot[/spoiler]
  7.  
  8.  
  9.  
  10. >be 21
  11. >straight and normal
  12. >minus being horsefucker mlp bronie fag
  13. >muh waifu is vinyl scratch
  14. >taking the entire week off for christmas
  15. >family decides to have big get-together with entire family
  16. >ENTIRE FAMILY
  17. >theres 40+ fucking people coming
  18. >all staying in one rented cabin type thing
  19. >decide i wont be that one 20something moody kid like in the movies
  20. >i'm gonna be nice as fuck
  21. >pump myself up for this shit
  22. >maybe go snowboarding or some shit
  23. >yeah, ill have fun!
  24. >before we lose phone connection we stop at a chipoltle in some town i dont remember
  25. >we got a convoy of like 15 cars and trucks
  26. >we take over the resturant
  27. >check on my chanexplorer app
  28. >might as well get some reading material for nophonezone
  29. >open up a few recent popular threads on /k/ and /b/
  30. >not really reading, just flipping through
  31. >check /mlp/
  32. >vinyl thread
  33. >fuck yeah i love vinyl
  34. "i'm just not really used to anypony treating me like a gentleman"
  35. >treating me like a gentleman
  36. >like a gentleman
  37. >gentleman
  38. >mysides
  39. >start reading the thread
  40. >suddenly a wild writefag appears
  41. >sweet jesus
  42. >this guys good
  43. >multiple writefags battling for sexy glory
  44.  
  45.  
  46. >fucking epic mlp thread
  47. >intensly reading
  48. >enjoying the fuck outta this
  49. >trap pon3 is best pon3
  50. >just got to the "so what now"
  51. "umm anon?"
  52. >shit
  53. "weren't you listening?"
  54. >i realize i havent touched my burrito
  55. >also people were talking to me
  56. >completely zoned out there
  57. "sorry, i was texting"
  58. "well put it down for a while! im speaking now and real conversations are more stimulating than that silly screen blalala"
  59. >fuck you aunt kim
  60. >nobody wants to talk to you so you bother me
  61. >listen to kim and her boring ass gameplan of going to pick up scrapbook supplies
  62. >for 20 minutes
  63. >everybody's wrapping up and getting ready to go
  64. >you bitch i wanted to read this
  65. >go to use the bathroom before the convoy departs
  66. >not looking forward to car trip resumed
  67. >im driving my little cute cuzzos, nephew and other assorted small children
  68. >this kid tho
  69. >my nephew
  70. >holy shit ive never found anyone so annoying
  71. >hes a COD specialist
  72. >MLG GAMER HACKER VETERAN
  73. >knowitall fuck
  74. >hes 13
  75. >spends every breath talking about vidya guns and this anime with dragons
  76. >DRAGUNS DRAGUNS FUCKINGDRAGUNS POWERDRAGUNS
  77. >i just reply two sentences every time
  78. "spike is best dragon"
  79. "WHO THE EFF IS THAT ERGOPAN IS THE STRONGEST BECAUSE HE OBTAINED THE BLABLABLALLLALALL"
  80. "it's ok kid, its a grown-up show that you wouldn't know about"
  81. internalsmile.jpg
  82.  
  83.  
  84. >im stuck driving the little fuckheads
  85. >in my new-2-me lexus
  86. >i will murder all if they fuck up my seats
  87. >anyway, inside bathroom
  88. >check in on vinyl thread
  89. >resume reading whilst freshening up a bit
  90. >get to kiss
  91. >bet it tastes like redbull
  92. >whoa fuck
  93. >muh dick
  94. >this godly writefag is making me vibrate with exitement
  95. >fap to just that part
  96. >i'm finding this idea way to hot
  97. >cum like crazy
  98. >ok im definatly saving this for later
  99. >make sure i keep the app open
  100. >head back to the cars
  101. >cant get that thread out of my head
  102. >getting mental images of a long passionate kiss with trap vinyl
  103. >already getting hard again
  104. >never been attracted to traps
  105. >im super attracted to this
  106. >NO BONER
  107. >anyway some annoying boring shit happens
  108. >skipping over car trip
  109. >we get to the place
  110. >the little fucks get out and run off
  111. >i get happy again
  112.  
  113.  
  114. >this place is actually fucking awesome
  115. >snow and cold is fun?
  116. >shit i didnt know that
  117. >first time in the sierras
  118. >only live 2 hours away too
  119. >in the back of my head the white snow reminds me of that badass DJ pone
  120. >weird feelings
  121. >ehh whatev
  122. >enjoy the day relaxing and getting settled
  123. >don't enjoy the fact that im splitting my room with the kids
  124. >god damn it dragunboy
  125. >shut up or i'll
  126. >wait
  127. >i remember i've got that vinyl thread
  128. >get weird feelings again
  129. >exited slash happy slash anxious slash worried
  130. >dafuq
  131. "ANOONN"
  132. "KIIIIIIDSSSSSS"
  133. "WERE GONNA WATCH A MOOVIEEE"
  134. >FUCK
  135.  
  136.  
  137. >national lampoons christmas vacaction
  138. >its a family tradition
  139. >ive seen this every year
  140. >for 20 years
  141. >mandatory attendance
  142. >find a corner spot
  143. >after everyones settled i whip out my phone
  144. >yess its still saved
  145. >too bad i cant refresh the page or anything
  146. >start from the top to catch up
  147. >oh fuck
  148. >these feels
  149. >speaking of feel
  150. >feel a twinge in my pants
  151. >its the part of the story where canon anon and cocania pone get to his house
  152. "you can drink as much as you want from THIS white stallion!"
  153. >tail flick
  154. >dat ass
  155. >hnnnnngggg
  156. "whatcha readinn"
  157.  
  158.  
  159. >ABORT ABORT
  160. >little cuzzo behind me
  161. >dont know how long
  162. >little ashley from alabama is cute
  163. >my favorite of all of them
  164. >shes quiet
  165. >supercute accent
  166. >good thing theres not many pics or anything
  167. "just a story"
  168. >im blushed and breating heavier than i should have
  169. >thank sunbutt shes not an adult and cant read people for shit
  170. "oohh can i read too??"
  171. >NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  172. "i uh, dont think you'd like it"
  173. "why??"
  174. >holy shit she sounded like applebloom
  175. >so fucking adorable
  176. >snap back to the convo
  177. "it's just a boring old gun thread"
  178. "O MUTHA EFFER DID SOMEBODY SAY GUNSS?"
  179. >dragunboy just caught wind of this clusterfuck
  180. "IVE GOT A AIRSOFT AK AND ITS FULLAUTO AND I PAINTED IT OC CAMO L33T CUZ THATS WAT THE SNIPERS USE IN RUSSIA AND STUFF"
  181. >somebody tells him to stfu
  182. >ok this ain't so bad
  183. >everybody watching the movie
  184. >back to thread
  185.  
  186.  
  187. >reading with the intensity of 9000 lazerbeams
  188. >wanting to blow that white trap so bad
  189. >maybe even give sloppy seconds to god tier writefag that is creating this
  190. >did i just think that
  191. >theres those weird feelings again
  192. >i'm not gay though!
  193. >right?
  194. >further into the story
  195. >things are escalating for anon and that pon3
  196. >massive boner again
  197. >vinyls on top
  198. >cock on cock action
  199. >I'M NOT GAY THOUGH
  200. >right?
  201. >i'm having more realistic feels reading this thread on my phone in a rental cabin with chevy chase in the background than when i first got laid
  202. >tail pulling slippery sexy action
  203. >i cant take it anymore
  204. >make a break for the bathroom
  205. >someone said something
  206. >don't care
  207. >gotta release all this buildup
  208. >i'm hard as fuck
  209. >its most likely obvious
  210. >too fuckin bad
  211. >god dammit MLP
  212. >dont make me gay
  213. >start to fap
  214.  
  215.  
  216. >one of those SUPER EXITED shaky sessions
  217. >no material needed for this one
  218. >realize im so fucking enthralled with the idea that i dont need pics or anything
  219. >perfect mental image
  220. >vinyl's on top
  221. >were getting close
  222. >i cum first, vinyls close after though
  223. >shooting both loads on my messy stomach
  224. >we both collapse
  225. >damn i wish i could just feel th-
  226. >wait
  227. >did i just
  228. >gay?
  229. >finish and clean up
  230. >cum back out
  231. >everyone is looking
  232. >instablush
  233. >what did i d-
  234. >no
  235. >my phone
  236.  
  237.  
  238. >i left it
  239. >right there
  240. >on the fucking chair
  241. >screen unlocked
  242. >with the thread open
  243. >scan the room
  244. >mixed faces
  245. >closer relatives shocked and concerned
  246. >more distant family trying to not laugh
  247. >parents dissapoint
  248. >mom sad
  249. >dad wtf
  250. >dragunboy has a shit eating grin on
  251. >wtf did everybody see this shit or what
  252. >my fave lil cuzzo looks like she is scared
  253. >i realize shes the one who saw it first
  254. >i cant react
  255. >i
  256. "i w-was tryin' to tell you that you dropped your phone"
  257. >ashley noooo
  258. "next time try to leave the adult stuff at least locked on your phone anon"
  259. >everybody tries break the tension and return to the movie
  260. >i can feel the talk with my parents inbound after the movie
  261. >wat 2 say
  262. >fuck idk
  263. >how much did they read
  264. >shit i was on the orgasam scene
  265. >decide to get some fresh air
  266. >need a cig
  267. >digging through car to find the emergency pack
  268. >this is an emergency
  269. >and i thought i had quit
  270.  
  271.  
  272. "cigarettes arent cheap up here i bet"
  273. >lol not now brain
  274. >hear the door open
  275. >yep its my dad
  276. >hes a good father and a great friend
  277. >but he sucks at being sensitive
  278. "son u gay now?"
  279. "no!"
  280. >that weird feeling is back again
  281. >is my body telling me otherwise?
  282. >am i?
  283. "why u got gay horse stories"
  284. >told ya
  285. >realize they had the time to read a good chunk
  286. >and the pics
  287. >hopefully nothing too hardcore
  288. "not sure myself, opened it earlier and just kept reading it heh"
  289. "as a joke then?"
  290. >not sure what he meant at the time
  291. "yea lol"
  292. >he seems to lighten up
  293. "oh haha i gotcha"
  294. >he thinks i was reading it like a comedy?
  295. "just make sure the kids dont see your phone ok?"
  296. "ok dad"
  297. >smoke a cig
  298. >wow its fucking beautiful up here at night
  299. >smoke a cig
  300. >take a little walk
  301. >the worst is over
  302. >the worst is over?
  303. >i think
  304. >but why do i still feel weird?
  305.  
  306.  
  307. >can one thread turn your entire sexuality around
  308. >wow
  309. >much feelings
  310. >many emotion
  311. >that night nobody said a word to me
  312. >even dragunboy
  313. >how the fuck did he manage that?
  314. >nxt day
  315. >still feel more eyes on me than usual
  316. >brush it off
  317. >today we are going to bear valley
  318. >this is what i was looking forward to so much
  319. >start feeling my usual happy self
  320. >still theres something in the back of my head
  321. >try to block out
  322. >keep getting these images of getting ridden by trap vinyl
  323. >why brain
  324. >once we get to the board rental place i forget about it
  325. >try my hand at it without lessions
  326. >i used to skate so this shouldnt be any different right?
  327. >its different
  328. >get pretty bruised up
  329. >everybody had good time
  330. >sweet
  331. >maybe this wont be so bad after all
  332.  
  333. and so the rest of the week went pretty well (YES THIS IS AN EPILOGUE SINCE I RAN OUT OF GREENTEXT)
  334. and everybody moved on without causing a scene, to my surprise
  335. but i still feel different about myself. [spoiler]i would jump on that black horse dick and ride trapvinyl anyday[/spoiler]
  336.  
  337. so there ya go. thats all ive got
  338.  
  339.  
  340. that's as close to writefagging as i'll ever get
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