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Bronitz

Fighting Fluff Training

Oct 22nd, 2012
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  1. Anonymous 04/04/12(Wed)19:39 No.1042446
  2.  
  3. it's my first time doing this. someone has probably written something similar and better, but fuck it
  4.  
  5. >fluffy pony fighting has become a popular, if highly illegal pastime in your area
  6. >you adopt a fluffy pony with the sole purpose of entering it into these competitions in hopes of earning megabux
  7. >you chose a boy, a bright blue unicorn with green eyes who jumped around shouting "new fwiend!" when you entered the pet store
  8. >fluffy ponies have barely any magic, but you thought maybe the stubby little horn could be useful for stabbing
  9. >or at least poking
  10. >you leave the store clutching the pony to your chest
  11. >a pang of guilt strikes you as it burbles "hugs" over and over like some sort of adorable retard
  12. >Mark stands outside your home, looking at his phone with a vacant expression, eyes half lidded and slack jawed
  13. >he kind of scares you, but he's your only ticket into the fluffy fighting scene
  14. >plus he offered to help train your fluffy for free
  15. >he sees you holding the pony to your chest, unconsciously stroking it
  16. >"gimme the fuckin' thing", he growls as he grabs a clump of fur on the fluffies back and tears it away from you
  17. >it starts screaming, it's legs flail wildly
  18. >it starts to piss
  19. >Mark looks at you
  20. >"let's get the thing inside for fucks sake"
  21. >you fumble for your keys and open the door, leading Mark inside with the pissing pony
  22. >you aren't about to complain to this nutter
  23. >you quickly lead him to the empty room you've prepared for the training
  24.  
  25. >the room is completely empty except for a table and a wardrobe built into the wall
  26. >Mark puts the pony on the table but keeps a firm grip on it
  27. >he's staring it in the eyes and looks fucking furious
  28. >he roars at the fluffy
  29. >SHUT UP
  30. >the pony looks to you pleadingly
  31. >as soon as it looks away from Mark he squeezes the handful of fluff and jerks the pony violently until it meets his gaze
  32. >it's whimpering and sobbing and shit on the table
  33. >"don't fucking talk, right? if you do, you get this"
  34. >he uses his other hand to pinch the ponies ear, twisting and pulling it
  35. >it screams, he stops, it goes back to whimpering
  36. >"do you understand?"
  37. >your heart sinks as the pony responds yes
  38. >more pinching, more screaming
  39. >Mark asks again, the pony answers again
  40. >you realize the true depth of fluffy stupidity
  41.  
  42. >Mark poses the question for the thirteenth time and the pony finally replies with a nod
  43. >it closes it's eyes and shakes in fear, whining
  44. >mark shouts loudly enough to make you jump
  45. >FUCKING LOOK AT ME
  46. >when the pony opens it's eyes it blurts out "sowwy!"
  47. >herewegoagain.jpg
  48. >you leave the room for a half an hour but can still hear the screams and roars
  49. >you return as things go strangely quiet
  50. >Mark is still glaring at the pony
  51. >the pony is still as a statue, it's eyes wide open in terror as it stares at Mark
  52. >you wonder if this is really happening
  53. >he lifts the pony from the table, their eyes still locked
  54. >the pony remains too scared to struggle or even squeak
  55. >he opens the wardrobe and tosses the pony in, slamming the door loudly
  56. >he turns to you
  57. >"leave it in there for the night, right. if you hear it whinging go in and batter the little shit. i'll be back tomorrow."
  58. >you show him to the door
  59. >"and don't fuckin feed it!"
  60.  
  61. >you need to sit down for a minute to think about what you're getting into
  62. >you're shaking
  63. >animal abuse doesn't scare you obviously, otherwise you wouldn't have had this idea in the first place
  64. >Mark, on the other hand, is fucking terrifying
  65. >you collect yourself and clean up the trail of piss
  66. >you stand outside the fluffy's room listening for "whinging" as Mark put it
  67. >but all you can hear is quiet sobs
  68. >you decide not to punish the fluffy
  69.  
  70. >it's 2 am and you're asleep when your phone rings
  71. >as soon as you pick up a voice asks "has it been actin' up?"
  72. >dude what
  73. >"the pony, man."
  74. >you tell him it hasn't made a sound
  75. >"well go in there now and give it a kicking"
  76. >yeah okay man
  77. >a brief silence
  78. >"well come on then, i want to hear it scream"
  79. >there are no words
  80. >"you there?"
  81. >yeah man just let me put on my kicking boots haha
  82. >oh god
  83. >you go to the fluffy ponies room
  84. >it's sobs stop when it hears your footsteps
  85. >you open the door and see the fluffy walking backwards into the wall, it's eyes locked on yours
  86. >a flicker of recognition crosses it's face and it goes still, tilting it's head slightly
  87.  
  88. >"fwiend?"
  89. >"i wanna hear it man, come on", he breathes into your ear
  90. >you reach down to the pony
  91. >oh god
  92.  
  93. >the pony shrinks away from you as you reach down
  94. >it closes its eyes as your hand approaches
  95. >you scratch under its chin
  96. >it opens a single eye, then both and looks at you dumbfounded
  97. >you put on the most reassuring smile you can muster
  98. >put a finger to your lips and hold the phone away from you
  99. >shhhh
  100. >"...pway?"
  101. >you nod
  102. >"tsssssss"
  103. >good lord this thing is dumb
  104. >"what are you fucking doing? hit the little shit!"
  105. >here i go
  106. >you put the phone on the table next to the pile of shit
  107. >you begin banging on the wall and screaming like a fluffy pony
  108. >to offset the distressing sound you wave your arms with a goofy grin on your face aimed at fluffy
  109. >fluffy is looking at you in awe and starts screaming too, running around your legs
  110. >"yeah, you little bitch, ungh, scream"
  111. >fortunately you don't hear Mark in the throes of ecstasy
  112. >NOW QUIET
  113. >you put your finger to your lips
  114. >fluffy freezes
  115. >"tsssssss"
  116. >Mark isn't on the phone when you pick it up
  117.  
  118. >that night you sleep cradling fluffy pony in your arms
  119. >Mark calls around again but fluffy is playing the shhh game upstairs
  120. >you tell him that you found the fluffy pony dead this morning and binned it
  121. >"fuck it anyway, i'll get another one for us."
  122. >you tell him that you can't do it again, you're going away to
  123. >canadia?
  124. >to see your sick uncle
  125. >for a long time
  126. >at hearing you wont be available to torture small animals he leaves immediately
  127. >you get the feeling you haven't seen the last of this guy
  128. >weeks pass
  129. >FLUFFY PONY FIGHTING RING EXPOSED: 12 ARRESTED
  130. >high five fluffy
  131. >"hi'fi'!"
  132. >live happily ever after
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