API tools faq
paste
Advertisement
TearyHarpy

Harpy Screams At Dinosaurs (New Goopy Mode!)

TearyHarpy
Nov 21st, 2018
94
0
Never
Add comment
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 25.16 KB | None | 0 0
raw download clone embed print report
  1. DurianDinosaur: time to pretend i know shit about dinosaurs and be a big fat baby
  2.  
  3. DurianDinosaur: i actually don't want trivia but apparently this is a thing now
  4.  
  5. DurianDinosaur: thanks amazon
  6.  
  7. DurianDinosaur: https://gyazo.com/423a7893f8df82fe1cdbdfe7322c5b32 this sounds like creepypasta material
  8. DurianDinosaur: "OMINOUS INSTRUMENTALS"
  9.  
  10. DurianDinosaur: god i love subtitles
  11.  
  12. DurianDinosaur: nice fuckin
  13.  
  14. DurianDinosaur: hats
  15.  
  16. DurianDinosaur: SUDDENLY SPANISH
  17.  
  18. DurianDinosaur: "BRING IT BRING IT"
  19.  
  20. DurianDinosaur: fuckin RIP notGeoffrey
  21.  
  22. DurianDinosaur: also aah D:
  23.  
  24. DurianDinosaur: >dominican republic
  25.  
  26. DurianDinosaur: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  27.  
  28. DurianDinosaur: >doesn't fucking translate the spanish
  29.  
  30. DurianDinosaur: i hate subtitles
  31.  
  32. DurianDinosaur: "mano de dios" is "hand of god"
  33.  
  34. DurianDinosaur: "bet you a thousand dollars that he falls"
  35.  
  36. DurianDinosaur: thats what he says
  37.  
  38. DurianDinosaur: thats an easy bet i mean that thing don't have no safety railings
  39.  
  40. DurianDinosaur: someone fucking owes that man a thousand dollars
  41.  
  42. DurianDinosaur: "they'll never get him out of montana"
  43.  
  44. DurianDinosaur: or will they?
  45.  
  46. DurianDinosaur: *DUN DUN*
  47.  
  48. DurianDinosaur: yeah that
  49.  
  50. DurianDinosaur: sure is a beautiful amber mosquito alright
  51.  
  52. DurianDinosaur: nice fossils there
  53.  
  54. DurianDinosaur: this reminds me of when i was younger, just digging under some playset with a pal and being full convinced that we found some sorta dinosaur fossil
  55.  
  56. DurianDinosaur: UNDERNEATH THE SWINGSET?!? WAO WHAT A FIND
  57.  
  58. DurianDinosaur: and just as the swingset was gone
  59.  
  60. DurianDinosaur: so, too, was the "fossil"
  61.  
  62. DurianDinosaur: ~spooky~
  63.  
  64. DurianDinosaur: "ah hate compooters"
  65.  
  66. DurianDinosaur: dont' we all?
  67.  
  68. DurianDinosaur: LOOK AT THAT EIGHTYS HAIRSTYLE
  69.  
  70. DurianDinosaur: WOO
  71.  
  72. DurianDinosaur: >everyone laughs at raptor being more like a bird than a raptor
  73.  
  74. DurianDinosaur: buttheyare
  75.  
  76. DurianDinosaur: >"THATS NOT EVEN SCARY"
  77.  
  78. DurianDinosaur: kid you 'bout to be schooled
  79.  
  80. DurianDinosaur: shit now they got the biologist side of me into this
  81.  
  82. DurianDinosaur: fuck you
  83.  
  84. DurianDinosaur: i am both scared and intrigued
  85.  
  86. DurianDinosaur: the kid only agrees to say okay because he's terrified of the consequences
  87.  
  88. DurianDinosaur: https://gyazo.com/f7fba378e7ce3bda63753a0e92113f4e grant's wrong but still getting stabbed in the neck by a dino claw bigger than your hand is terrifying
  89. DurianDinosaur: "the island's gonna blow the kids minds"
  90.  
  91. DurianDinosaur: it sure blew notGeoffrey's mind!
  92.  
  93. DurianDinosaur: WOW A REAL DINOSAUR IS EATING MEA_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  94.  
  95. DurianDinosaur: "what are those" "small versions of adults hun"
  96.  
  97. DurianDinosaur: dfiojoijgjfd
  98.  
  99. DurianDinosaur: my god
  100.  
  101. DurianDinosaur: i love these two
  102.  
  103. DurianDinosaur: fuckin BRIBERY
  104.  
  105. DurianDinosaur: GOOD DOGGO SPOTTED
  106.  
  107. DurianDinosaur: god i wish that were me
  108.  
  109. DurianDinosaur: also you could replace "embryos" with "dinosaur toys" and you'd get the same feels over it as that dufe
  110.  
  111. DurianDinosaur: also a real life situation where some nerd would actually pay big bucks for some fuckin dino toys
  112.  
  113. DurianDinosaur: that scene between dodson and THAT GUY
  114.  
  115. DurianDinosaur: is just
  116.  
  117. DurianDinosaur: pure gold
  118.  
  119. DurianDinosaur: just
  120.  
  121. DurianDinosaur: look at him
  122.  
  123. DurianDinosaur: look at bill
  124.  
  125. DurianDinosaur: back at him
  126.  
  127. DurianDinosaur: "Don't get cheap on me, Dodson."
  128.  
  129. DurianDinosaur: what a fucking power play
  130.  
  131. DurianDinosaur: I bet this guy dies or something and I will shed one tear.
  132.  
  133. DurianDinosaur: this malcom guy givin me the heebie jeebies
  134.  
  135. DurianDinosaur: "chaosmatician actually"
  136.  
  137. DurianDinosaur: ....i don't think it's safe to blatantly put deltarune spoilers in space chat BUT for those interested- *PAY ME $500 DOLLARS FOR THIS NEW HOT CONTENT*
  138.  
  139. DurianDinosaur: I WAS WAITING FOR THIS THEME TO PLAY
  140.  
  141. DurianDinosaur: *UNIVERSAL FLASHBACKS*
  142.  
  143. DurianDinosaur: businessman hyperventilates over there
  144.  
  145. DurianDinosaur: same.
  146.  
  147. DurianDinosaur: abuse those whale and donkey noises FOR BRACHIOSAURUS HAS ARRVIED
  148.  
  149. DurianDinosaur: Welcome.
  150.  
  151. DurianDinosaur: To Jurassic Park.
  152.  
  153. DurianDinosaur: prepare for die
  154.  
  155. DurianDinosaur: wow
  156.  
  157. DurianDinosaur: thats basically a layman's version of DNA
  158.  
  159. DurianDinosaur: i can't believe how accurate it is
  160.  
  161. DurianDinosaur: "autoerotica"
  162.  
  163. DurianDinosaur: RIP my brain, already in the gutter.
  164.  
  165. DurianDinosaur: sdklgjf
  166.  
  167. DurianDinosaur: WHY IS THIS FUCKIN DINOSAUR SO CUTE
  168.  
  169. DurianDinosaur: "we based the behaviors of dinos on other animals because lol we know jack shit about their actual habits"
  170.  
  171. DurianDinosaur https://i.gyazo.com/6620dc660f398d5964315ec48529ac8e.png hsdjkdh FYCJUUIN SOUND EFFECTS
  172.  
  173. DurianDinosaur: "they're all girls, malcom"
  174.  
  175. DurianDinosaur: "they can't breed"
  176.  
  177. DurianDinosaur: jurassic park is actually just a harem anime gone terribly wrong. good to know!
  178.  
  179. DurianDinosaur: trying to get all this trivia while also watching a movie while also live commentating is a hassle
  180.  
  181. DurianDinosaur: https://gyazo.com/ccfd94370b1ef8540f9f92fda2be59d2
  182.  
  183. DurianDinosaur: i'm sure everyone reading this probably knows but
  184.  
  185. DurianDinosaur: you know
  186.  
  187. DurianDinosaur: deny the dinos the testosterone they desire
  188.  
  189. DurianDinosaur: jeff goldblum pointing out that lesbians exist
  190.  
  191. DurianDinosaur: "you bred raptors."
  192.  
  193. DurianDinosaur: thats one way to set the stage for "HOO BOY YOU DONE FUCKED NOW"
  194.  
  195. DurianDinosaur: alshdfkl hiogjo pdfjkg\
  196.  
  197. DurianDinosaur: FUCKING LOUD NOISES
  198.  
  199. DurianDinosaur: who wants to bet 5 bucks i'll die of a heart attack before the movie's over
  200.  
  201. DurianDinosaur: RIP cow
  202.  
  203. DurianDinosaur: "MOOING IN FEAR"
  204.  
  205. DurianDinosaur: i love subtitles again
  206.  
  207. DurianDinosaur: *bites tongue at mention of a smart raptor in there*
  208.  
  209. DurianDinosaur: GOD THAT LOOKS SO GOOD
  210.  
  211. DurianDinosaur: "we can charge whatever we want"
  212.  
  213. DurianDinosaur: i hope you die first.
  214.  
  215. DurianDinosaur: "genetic power is the most awesome force on this planet and you wield it like a kid who found his dad's gun"
  216.  
  217. DurianDinosaur: the raw power in this line moves me to my core
  218.  
  219. DurianDinosaur: >scientists so preocupied with the fact that they could they didn't stop to think if they should.
  220.  
  221. DurianDinosaur: GOLDBLUM HAS ALL THE FUCKING POWER LINES
  222.  
  223. DurianDinosaur: "you're nto fuckin saving condors from deforestation you're reviving a species that nature said "fuck this" to and revived it even if it didn't fit the environment"
  224.  
  225. DurianDinosaur: god
  226.  
  227. DurianDinosaur: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN
  228.  
  229. DurianDinosaur: https://gyazo.com/492d3661656cd767b94dbd652e530839
  230.  
  231. DurianDinosaur: jesus christ that line
  232.  
  233. DurianDinosaur: this scene is just so raw
  234.  
  235. DurianDinosaur: and i love it
  236.  
  237. DurianDinosaur: kid me wouldn't have fucking understood it but now as a biologist i'm like
  238.  
  239. DurianDinosaur: "yep that's fuckin it, there we go"
  240.  
  241. DurianDinosaur: "fuck i got you guys to defend me and all i got was this stupid blood-sucking lawyer kissing my ass"
  242.  
  243. DurianDinosaur: sorry bitch, they went through the whole science fair project line and concluded
  244.  
  245. DurianDinosaur: that you done fucked
  246.  
  247. DurianDinosaur: >brought kids to the park
  248.  
  249. DurianDinosaur: please don't let them die
  250.  
  251. DurianDinosaur: the gramps can die and so can the lawyer
  252.  
  253. DurianDinosaur: BUT IF THEY DIE BECAUSE OF THEIR FOOLISHNESS I WILL CRY
  254.  
  255. DurianDinosaur: AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME
  256.  
  257. DurianDinosaur: the tackiest cars ever known to man
  258.  
  259. DurianDinosaur: my eyes are dying.
  260.  
  261. DurianDinosaur: you're fucking welcome.
  262.  
  263. DurianDinosaur: >INTERACTIVE CD-ROM
  264.  
  265. DurianDinosaur: >CD-ROM
  266.  
  267. DurianDinosaur: >CD-ROM!!!!! (because i can't fuckin bold and italics in pastebin RIP me)
  268.  
  269. DurianDinosaur: i-i'm so fucking old...
  270.  
  271. DurianDinosaur: *ignores fact that even her bf is older than her*
  272.  
  273. DurianDinosaur: dude don't just leave lil goops in there
  274.  
  275. DurianDinosaur: DON'T ABANDON HIM
  276.  
  277. DurianDinosaur: YOU MOTHERFUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER
  278.  
  279. DurianDinosaur:
  280.  
  281. DurianDinosaur: sorry i phased out of existence for a second
  282.  
  283. DurianDinosaur: is it bad that i associate tim as a tiny goops?
  284.  
  285. DurianDinosaur: Maybe.
  286.  
  287. DurianDinosaur: Will I stop?
  288.  
  289. DurianDinosaur: No.
  290.  
  291. DurianDinosaur: oh god they got dunked on didn't they
  292.  
  293. DurianDinosaur: thanks samuel L jackson for complaining about this shit
  294.  
  295. DurianDinosaur: good job
  296.  
  297. DurianDinosaur: >Dennis
  298.  
  299. DurianDinosaur: god FUCK DOUBLE RUINED
  300.  
  301. DurianDinosaur: "God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys god. Man creates dinosaurs."
  302.  
  303. DurianDinosaur: "Dinosaurs eat man."
  304.  
  305. DurianDinosaur: "Woman inherits the earth."
  306.  
  307. DurianDinosaur: i love this so much, when can i marry her
  308.  
  309. DurianDinosaur: WICASA NO
  310.  
  311. DurianDinosaur: "HES GONNA EAT THE GOAT?!?!?"
  312.  
  313. DurianDinosaur: "excellent."
  314.  
  315. DurianDinosaur: tim no
  316.  
  317. DurianDinosaur: "whats the matter, kid? never had lamb chops?"
  318.  
  319. DurianDinosaur: FIRST OF ALL
  320.  
  321. DurianDinosaur: THIS IS A GOAT-
  322.  
  323. DurianDinosaur: tim is going full sperg and i'm proud of him
  324.  
  325. DurianDinosaur: "Dino droppings?
  326.  
  327. DurianDinosaur: yes, malc, we have to look at dino shit to get anywhere :I
  328.  
  329. DurianDinosaur: all in the name of science
  330.  
  331. DurianDinosaur: i knew dennis was too good to be true.
  332.  
  333. DurianDinosaur: all in all, greed ruins absolutely everything
  334.  
  335. DurianDinosaur: now Miss Velociraptor, ivel's friend, will come and kill us all.
  336.  
  337. DurianDinosaur: SHE'S IN THE MOVIE I SWEAR
  338.  
  339. DurianDinosaur: dennis's greed fucked up everything.
  340.  
  341. DurianDinosaur: well
  342.  
  343. DurianDinosaur: time to go straight to hell as i go into full wimp mode
  344.  
  345. DurianDinosaur: lone wicasa in the rain
  346.  
  347. DurianDinosaur: baaa.
  348.  
  349. DurianDinosaur: i heard that.
  350.  
  351. DurianDinosaur: prepare yonder anuses for a wild ride
  352.  
  353. DurianDinosaur: "maybe its the power trying to come back on"
  354.  
  355. DurianDinosaur: SGJKLDjSDIOJGLSGJ WHAT KIND OF POWER HAVE YOU BEEN AROUND
  356.  
  357. DurianDinosaur: Wicasa status: HE'S GONE D:
  358.  
  359. DurianDinosaur: AAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK
  360.  
  361. DurianDinosaur: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S REXY
  362.  
  363. DurianDinosaur: >abandoning the kids
  364.  
  365. DurianDinosaur: i sure hope you die.
  366.  
  367. DurianDinosaur: ARE THE KIDS SAFE
  368.  
  369. DurianDinosaur: GOD FUCK ALMIGHTY ARE THEY SAFE
  370.  
  371. DurianDinosaur: >lawyer in danger
  372.  
  373. DurianDinosaur: meh.
  374.  
  375. DurianDinosaur: You can die.
  376.  
  377. DurianDinosaur: Goodbye, bitch!
  378.  
  379. DurianDinosaur: timukay
  380.  
  381. DurianDinosaur: TIMMY
  382.  
  383. DurianDinosaur: TIMMY
  384.  
  385. DurianDinosaur: don't fucking insult ya goil like that
  386.  
  387. DurianDinosaur: also RIP dennis in advance
  388.  
  389. DurianDinosaur: WANNA TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE- i shouldn't be making jokes when i'm terrified out of my goddamn mind, wow
  390.  
  391. DurianDinosaur: also RIP dennis
  392.  
  393. DurianDinosaur: also i'm sure those embryos won't bite us in the ass later!
  394.  
  395. Gooper Blooper (Spooper Blooper) joined the chat
  396.  
  397. DurianDinosaur: ah geez
  398.  
  399. DurianDinosaur: welcome to jurassic park where EVERYONE YOU LOVE IS IN DANGER
  400.  
  401. DurianDinosaur: "heleftus"
  402.  
  403. DurianDinosaur: yeah and he fucking died for it
  404.  
  405. DurianDinosaur: karma's a velociraptor
  406.  
  407. DurianDinosaur: "Did your dad ever build you a treehouse?" "no" "yeah me too."
  408.  
  409. DurianDinosaur: *sheds a single tear*
  410.  
  411. DurianDinosaur: top 10 anime betrayals
  412.  
  413. Gooper Blooper: welcome to die jurassic park
  414.  
  415. DurianDinosaur: yes that's exactly hwat they should rename this
  416.  
  417. DurianDinosaur: this just in: tacky car is a prop for death
  418.  
  419. DurianDinosaur: never trust anything thats bright green and yellow
  420.  
  421. DurianDinosaur: i can't believe ian is still conscious enough to be a snark
  422.  
  423. DurianDinosaur: you beautiful bastard
  424.  
  425. Gooper Blooper: his purpose in this film is to deliver snark
  426.  
  427. Gooper Blooper: he does a good job
  428.  
  429. DurianDinosaur: https://gyazo.com/7f37b2e8c1898528e2614dda677db2c3
  430.  
  431. DurianDinosaur: bless you spielburg senpai
  432.  
  433. DurianDinosaur: you made a great call in the end
  434.  
  435. Gooper Blooper: I see you've got a fancy copy of this movie with Fun Facts (tm)
  436.  
  437. DurianDinosaur: I'm renting it on Amazon!
  438.  
  439. DurianDinosaur: and woo boy it has
  440.  
  441. DurianDinosaur: tons of trivia and even points out some goofs and "oh whoops WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT"
  442.  
  443. DurianDinosaur: there's just so goddamn much
  444.  
  445. Gooper Blooper: This is one of the most famous and highest-grossing movies of all time, so there's a LOT of associated trivia and behind-the-scenes stuff because the massive fanbase wanted to know about it
  446.  
  447. Gooper Blooper: In contrast, most of this kind of trivia for Godzilla movies is locked away in Japan-only publications that were never translated to English
  448.  
  449. DurianDinosaur: i can't drive by and screenshot all of these
  450.  
  451. DurianDinosaur: i'msurethey'reonawiki
  452.  
  453. Gooper Blooper: we're not in dolphin paddler territory any more
  454.  
  455. DurianDinosaur: >BRINGING UP DOLPHIN PADDLER
  456.  
  457. DurianDinosaur: banned
  458.  
  459. DurianDinosaur: hi rexy whats UUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  460.  
  461. Gooper Blooper: here's a fun fact for you: there was a period where JP1 was the highest-grossing movie ever made in history
  462.  
  463. Gooper Blooper: Even 25 years later it's still 30th place
  464.  
  465. DurianDinosaur: i'd believe it
  466.  
  467. DurianDinosaur: why'd you think universal took so damn long to rotate out dino boat
  468.  
  469. DurianDinosaur: :B
  470.  
  471. DurianDinosaur: https://gyazo.com/01e6d0519e2dcd70323ace82c7ddfd6a
  472.  
  473. DurianDinosaur: GEE
  474.  
  475. Gooper Blooper: (Jurassic World is 5th and Fallen Kingdom is 12th, so this is one serious AAA series)
  476.  
  477. DurianDinosaur: I WONDER WHY?
  478.  
  479. DurianDinosaur: not to that, i don't have to wonder shit
  480.  
  481. Gooper Blooper: it was a gamble and it paid off!
  482.  
  483. DurianDinosaur: look at how fast the spino is going
  484.  
  485. DurianDinosaur: saw it restock earlier too
  486.  
  487. DurianDinosaur: but we're not here for that
  488.  
  489. DurianDinosaur: "i hate trees"
  490.  
  491. DurianDinosaur: trees did nothing wrong
  492.  
  493. DurianDinosaur: tho that is one
  494.  
  495. DurianDinosaur: extra thick tree
  496.  
  497. DurianDinosaur: bvjkldfkopd
  498.  
  499. DurianDinosaur: IVEL-TIER PUN DETECTED
  500.  
  501. DurianDinosaur: TWO OF THEM
  502.  
  503. DurianDinosaur: PUN LEVELS ARE OFF THE CHARTS
  504.  
  505. Gooper Blooper: we need to counterbalance the scary parts with snark and puns
  506.  
  507. Gooper Blooper: keep folks from getting fuckin heart attacks from too many close calls
  508.  
  509. DurianDinosaur: and we're not even at raptors.
  510.  
  511. DurianDinosaur: feat. Miss Velociraptor
  512.  
  513. DurianDinosaur: no wait shit
  514.  
  515. DurianDinosaur: they're all Miss Velociraptor.
  516.  
  517. DurianDinosaur: D:
  518.  
  519. Gooper Blooper: girls everywhere
  520.  
  521. DurianDinosaur: again
  522.  
  523. DurianDinosaur: harem anime gone totes wrong
  524.  
  525. Gooper Blooper: (there are male dinosaurs in later movies but the majority of them are ladies)
  526.  
  527. DurianDinosaur: >male dinos later
  528.  
  529. DurianDinosaur: so they DO allow them to breed
  530.  
  531. Gooper Blooper: you'll see
  532.  
  533. DurianDinosaur: thats ominous as fuck
  534.  
  535. DurianDinosaur: Harpy Will Remember This.
  536.  
  537. DurianDinosaur: pictured: what the universal studios jurassic park gift shop actually looks like
  538.  
  539. DurianDinosaur: >eating the ice cream because its melting
  540.  
  541. DurianDinosaur: welp
  542.  
  543. DurianDinosaur: do or die i guess
  544.  
  545. DurianDinosaur: no don't give him morphine, you'll turn down the snark levels
  546.  
  547. DurianDinosaur: "creation is an act of sheer will"
  548.  
  549. DurianDinosaur: "EVERYTHINGS CORRECTABLE"
  550.  
  551. DurianDinosaur: oh jesus cripes on a cracker
  552.  
  553. DurianDinosaur: end me now
  554.  
  555. DurianDinosaur: damn now I want ice cream.
  556.  
  557. DurianDinosaur: one sec
  558.  
  559. Gooper Blooper: XD
  560.  
  561. DurianDinosaur: warning: no ice cream
  562.  
  563. DurianDinosaur: no cheesecake eitehr
  564.  
  565. DurianDinosaur: but there's cupcakes and i warned my parents that i will destroy them once i have a chance.
  566.  
  567. DurianDinosaur: ...if i don't make and eat a brownie myself.
  568.  
  569. DurianDinosaur: BUT
  570.  
  571. Gooper Blooper: how many cupcakes we talkin
  572.  
  573. DurianDinosaur: UUUUuuUuuuh
  574.  
  575. DurianDinosaur: a lot
  576.  
  577. DurianDinosaur: no seriously though it's just storebought cupcakes because
  578.  
  579. DurianDinosaur: ye
  580.  
  581. Gooper Blooper: acceptable
  582.  
  583. DurianDinosaur: 'bout 12
  584.  
  585. DurianDinosaur: mom's about to pull another all-nighter and the turkey will still taste dry
  586.  
  587. DurianDinosaur: grossest sneeze in cinema history
  588.  
  589. Gooper Blooper: bless her
  590.  
  591. DurianDinosaur: "great now she'll never try new things. she'll sit on her room and play on her computer-"
  592.  
  593. DurianDinosaur: i'm feeling so attacked right now
  594.  
  595. Gooper Blooper: kek
  596.  
  597. DurianDinosaur: "I'm a hacker!" "That's what I said: you're a nerd!"
  598.  
  599. Gooper Blooper: I wouldn't exactly be up for a dinosaur safari either after the night they've had
  600.  
  601. DurianDinosaur: attacked
  602.  
  603. Gooper Blooper: a 1993 hacker
  604.  
  605. Gooper Blooper: who hacks with interactive cd-roms
  606.  
  607. DurianDinosaur: thats it
  608.  
  609. Gooper Blooper: get out your floppy disks, we're dolbying this shit
  610.  
  611. DurianDinosaur: thats the year
  612.  
  613. DurianDinosaur: too babby to hack
  614.  
  615. DurianDinosaur: "there's eggs. the dinos.. are breeeding."
  616.  
  617. DurianDinosaur: life finds a way.
  618.  
  619. DurianDinosaur: much like lesbians.
  620.  
  621. DurianDinosaur: >goes on to talk about frogs that can change from male to female in a single sex environment... spontaneously
  622.  
  623. DurianDinosaur: oh
  624.  
  625. DurianDinosaur: oh
  626.  
  627. DurianDinosaur: that's clever, although not on the scientists' part :U
  628.  
  629. DurianDinosaur: "We have to shut it all down and bring it back up to get shit working again"
  630.  
  631. DurianDinosaur: what could
  632.  
  633. DurianDinosaur: POSIBLY
  634.  
  635. DurianDinosaur: GO WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAKLGJLKSFDGJGSDJLG
  636.  
  637. DurianDinosaur: "or we could fuckin... put the animals in a coma until we supply the thing"
  638.  
  639. DurianDinosaur: "NO SHUT DOWN THE SYSTEM"
  640.  
  641. Gooper Blooper: way status: found
  642.  
  643. DurianDinosaur: no wait really you'd rather shut down the system than fuckin
  644.  
  645. DurianDinosaur: stop the dinos that you found a way to manufacture anyhow?
  646.  
  647. DurianDinosaur: its not like DENNIS THE MENACE stole ALL the embryos you know
  648.  
  649. DurianDinosaur: horrormovielogic.txt
  650.  
  651. DurianDinosaur: "hold onto your butts"
  652.  
  653. DurianDinosaur: sir i've been holding on since the beginning
  654.  
  655. DurianDinosaur: *checks phone for something*
  656.  
  657. DurianDinosaur: >sis replied to text finally
  658.  
  659. DurianDinosaur: "u want spinosaurus" "YES PLEASE"
  660.  
  661. DurianDinosaur: WELL
  662.  
  663. DurianDinosaur: TIME TO LOOK AT THE HERDS RUNNING AWAY
  664.  
  665. DurianDinosaur: REXY RETURNS IN
  666.  
  667. DurianDinosaur: SHAKING THAT TOY WE CALL A FUCKING GALLOPASAUR OR WHATEVER
  668.  
  669. DurianDinosaur: "look how much blood"
  670.  
  671. DurianDinosaur: TIM THIS IS NOT THE TIME
  672.  
  673. Gooper Blooper: Rexy loves making dynamic entries
  674.  
  675. DurianDinosaur: "Disneyland opened and everything went wrong!"
  676.  
  677. Gooper Blooper: that scene was my favorite when I was a little kid
  678.  
  679. Gooper Blooper: just watch Rexy kill the gallimimus a dozen times :V
  680.  
  681. DurianDinosaur: "well if the pirates ride fucked up the pirates don't eat the tourists"
  682.  
  683. DurianDinosaur: RIP any gallimimus toys
  684.  
  685. DurianDinosaur: fed to Rexy
  686.  
  687. Gooper Blooper: I have one, been looking for one of the fancier ones
  688.  
  689. DurianDinosaur: le gasp
  690.  
  691. DurianDinosaur: GUNS LOCATED
  692.  
  693. Gooper Blooper: ARM UP
  694.  
  695. DurianDinosaur: use your pal like a table
  696.  
  697. DurianDinosaur: "i should be going because you know i'm a-"
  698.  
  699. DurianDinosaur: mfw the implications are real
  700.  
  701. Gooper Blooper: oh, I was very much waiting for your reaction to that bit https://www.dropbox.com/s/wmshnt22ee6276...
  702.  
  703. DurianDinosaur: https://i.gyazo.com/b801304c9dcb2c1d577bae5f9cd175da.png "look i ate 2 gallons of ice cream and my husband is out there probably dying, piss off for two seconds"
  704.  
  705. Gooper Blooper: "also you're like 80 years old and walk with a cane"
  706.  
  707. Gooper Blooper: "so stay here dammit"
  708.  
  709. DurianDinosaur: he doesn't want to be get "I TOLD YOU"'d by jeff goldblum
  710.  
  711. DurianDinosaur: he's a madman
  712.  
  713. DurianDinosaur: "we can talk sexism in survival situations when i get back."
  714.  
  715. DurianDinosaur: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
  716.  
  717. DurianDinosaur: DUMPED LIKE MALCHOM'S EX-WIVES
  718.  
  719. Gooper Blooper: get dunked on
  720.  
  721. DurianDinosaur: >all fences turned off
  722.  
  723. DurianDinosaur: she's coming out
  724.  
  725. DurianDinosaur: she will be freed.
  726.  
  727. DurianDinosaur: ah shit man that's some athletics right there
  728.  
  729. DurianDinosaur: 10/10
  730.  
  731. DurianDinosaur: I KNEW HE WAS GONNA SPOOK THE KIDS
  732.  
  733. DurianDinosaur: I KNEW HE WOULD DO SOMETHING
  734.  
  735. DurianDinosaur: BUT I STILL GOT SPOOKED
  736.  
  737. DurianDinosaur: the kind of shit harpdad would pull off
  738.  
  739. DurianDinosaur: justdadthings.jpg
  740.  
  741. DurianDinosaur: oh god no
  742.  
  743. DurianDinosaur: don't do it
  744.  
  745. DurianDinosaur: don't fucking do this to me
  746.  
  747. DurianDinosaur: i'll cry
  748.  
  749. DurianDinosaur: nONONONONONO
  750.  
  751. DurianDinosaur: ARE YOU OKA- AKLJSDLKGJSDLKGSDGJK FUCKIN
  752.  
  753. DurianDinosaur: MISS VELOCIRAPTORS
  754.  
  755. DurianDinosaur: WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT THEM
  756.  
  757. DurianDinosaur: AAAH GOD NOOO ARNOLD
  758.  
  759. Gooper Blooper: rest in pieces
  760.  
  761. DurianDinosaur: or was that the scientist?
  762.  
  763. DurianDinosaur: EITHER WAY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  764.  
  765. DurianDinosaur: that was the scientist
  766.  
  767. DurianDinosaur: agh
  768.  
  769. DurianDinosaur: tfw you panic so much you can't get your characters right
  770.  
  771. DurianDinosaur: (rip samuel l jackson)
  772.  
  773. Gooper Blooper: he had it with these motherfucking raptors in this motherfucking park
  774.  
  775. DurianDinosaur: "clever girl."
  776.  
  777. DurianDinosaur: THERE IS IS
  778.  
  779. DurianDinosaur: THERE IT IS
  780.  
  781. Gooper Blooper: THE LINE EVERYONE KNOWS
  782.  
  783. DurianDinosaur: well rip hunter too
  784.  
  785. DurianDinosaur: guess we'll die!
  786.  
  787. DurianDinosaur: >tim picks up those cake slice things
  788.  
  789. Gooper Blooper: they're dropping like flies
  790.  
  791. DurianDinosaur: top 10 anime battles
  792.  
  793. DurianDinosaur: also, he has his priorities straight
  794.  
  795. DurianDinosaur: ...why did i not remember her name was ellie for so long?
  796.  
  797. Gooper Blooper: try not to think of the elgyem
  798.  
  799. DurianDinosaur: everything makes sense
  800.  
  801. DurianDinosaur: >dino also at the buffet
  802.  
  803. DurianDinosaur: dino also has their priorities straight
  804.  
  805. DurianDinosaur: as long as
  806.  
  807. Gooper Blooper: naturally
  808.  
  809. DurianDinosaur: they don't eat the kids
  810.  
  811. DurianDinosaur: "sure the third one's contained?" "yeah, unless they figure out-"
  812.  
  813. DurianDinosaur: nononONONON-
  814.  
  815. DurianDinosaur: "how to open doors"
  816.  
  817. DurianDinosaur: oh my fucking christ
  818.  
  819. Gooper Blooper: :WidsFaceclaw: (lel too lazy to fetch the link atm)
  820.  
  821. DurianDinosaur: flippin my goddamn shit
  822.  
  823. Gooper Blooper: it should probably be clear at this point why the raptors are the big bads in this movie instead of Rexy
  824.  
  825. DurianDinosaur: time to rename the pastebin to "HARPY SCREAMS AT DINOSAURS (feat. Gooper Blooper from the Super Mario Sunshine series) "
  826.  
  827. Gooper Blooper: Rexy, as scary as she is, is just an animal in the end
  828.  
  829. DurianDinosaur: rexy can't open doors
  830.  
  831. Gooper Blooper: the raptors can think
  832.  
  833. DurianDinosaur: arm 2 short
  834.  
  835. DurianDinosaur: oh god there's two of them in the same room
  836.  
  837. DurianDinosaur: casual reminder
  838.  
  839. DurianDinosaur: raptors can jump.
  840.  
  841. DurianDinosaur: "BOOT UP THOSE DOOR LOCKS"
  842.  
  843. DurianDinosaur: raptor looks through the window
  844.  
  845. DurianDinosaur: "Hello, is it ME you're looking for?"
  846.  
  847. DurianDinosaur: at the WORST times
  848.  
  849. DurianDinosaur: "its a unix system. i know this"
  850.  
  851. DurianDinosaur: WHAT A GREAT TIME TO BE A NERD BUT BOOT UP THE DOOR LOCKS HOLY SHIT
  852.  
  853. DurianDinosaur: i did not hear what the FUCK you said hammond
  854.  
  855. DurianDinosaur: but i hope you weren't worried about the raptor
  856.  
  857. DurianDinosaur: HOLY SHIT HE KICKED A RAPTOR
  858.  
  859. DurianDinosaur: well that musuem part is totally boned
  860.  
  861. Gooper Blooper: >boned
  862.  
  863. Gooper Blooper: ahu
  864.  
  865. DurianDinosaur: REXY SAVES THE DAY?
  866.  
  867. DurianDinosaur: ACCIDENTALLY?
  868.  
  869. DurianDinosaur: "i'm just here for the buffet too"
  870.  
  871. DurianDinosaur: KAIJU FIGHT OF THE CENTURY
  872.  
  873. DurianDinosaur: >iNgen
  874.  
  875. DurianDinosaur: :esotericexposed:
  876.  
  877. DurianDinosaur: that's where i'd put my emote
  878.  
  879. DurianDinosaur: IF I HAD ONE
  880.  
  881. Gooper Blooper: and now you know
  882.  
  883. DurianDinosaur: alan looks at these kids
  884.  
  885. DurianDinosaur: smiles
  886.  
  887. DurianDinosaur: "mine now"
  888.  
  889. DurianDinosaur: that's what it says
  890.  
  891. DurianDinosaur: wao thats a doozy
  892.  
  893. DurianDinosaur: and there's the other leitmotif
  894.  
  895. DurianDinosaur: you know what people say about classics? Never age and shit?
  896.  
  897. DurianDinosaur: Jurassic Park is a classic, and not without merit
  898.  
  899. Gooper Blooper: ;D
  900.  
  901. DurianDinosaur: THEREFORE IT IS IMMORTAL
  902.  
  903. DurianDinosaur: sure you could point out a lot of inconsistencies like AMAZON WAS TRYING TO POINT OUT (thanks)
  904.  
  905. Gooper Blooper: amazon just like "where did the cliff come from huh"
  906.  
  907. DurianDinosaur: but the average viewer is not looking deep into that, we're already sucked in and its because man's hubris brought the dinosaurs back
  908.  
  909. DurianDinosaur: "WHY IS THE JEEP THERE WHEN IT WAS ON HIGHER GROUND HUH?!?"
  910.  
  911. DurianDinosaur: only the cynical nitpicker would really suspend their disbelief for that
  912.  
  913. Gooper Blooper: in conclusion: https://www.dropbox.com/s/2goe0mu21m2qc72/Rexy.jpg?dl=0
  914.  
  915. DurianDinosaur: yeah basically
  916.  
  917. DurianDinosaur: rexy is a national treasure
  918.  
  919. DurianDinosaur: have i reached the point where i'd fork over another 60 dollars for one for myself?
  920.  
  921. DurianDinosaur: no(t yet)
  922.  
  923. [SPINOSAURTALK]
  924.  
  925. Gooper Blooper: Speaking of, I have a funny story about that for main chatzy
  926.  
  927. Gooper Blooper: so I'll mosey on over there, BUT FIRST
  928.  
  929. Gooper Blooper: we need a rating outta ten for JP
  930.  
  931. DurianDinosaur: its a spinosaurus/10, goops
  932.  
  933. DurianDinosaur: ITS RARE
  934.  
  935. DurianDinosaur: easy tho, 10/10
  936.  
  937. Gooper Blooper: nice
  938.  
  939. DurianDinosaur: the lawyer got comeuppanced
  940.  
  941. DurianDinosaur: the kids are safe
  942.  
  943. Gooper Blooper: goopsmom told me to tell you to look forward to chris pratt later
  944.  
  945. DurianDinosaur: do i need to?
  946.  
  947. DurianDinosaur: *looks out for hot vets instead*
  948.  
  949. Gooper Blooper: goopsmom loves him :V
  950.  
  951. DurianDinosaur: WOO BOY
  952.  
  953. DurianDinosaur: Maybe tomorrow.
  954.  
  955. DurianDinosaur: *looks at time"
  956.  
  957. DurianDinosaur: aw fuck it is tomorrow
  958.  
  959. Gooper Blooper: kek
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement
Public Pastes
Advertisement
We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the Cookies Policy.  OK, I Understand
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!