why am i like this

The warm summer breeze brushed at her skin as she sat out of the back porch of her husband’s home. It was still strange being here, and he wouldn’t be awake to see it, but at least she would get to see an amazing celestial event today. Not so deep down, however, her heart hurt that she couldn’t get to watch with him. It sort of put a damper on things.

On top of that, all the radio stations were playing the same song. Come on guys, she thought. I like Bonnie Tyler as much as the next girl from the 80’s, but like, no Soundgarden? Black Hole Sun? Too weird for you all?

Oh well. At least she liked this song.

Somewhere behind her, she heard the sound of a wheelchair rolling past. But she didn’t pay it much mind, that was a common sound here. Instead, she began to mumble along to the song.

“Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit lonely, cause you’re never comin’ round...” Something about it resonated, deep in her soul, in the places she tried not to let her loved ones see.

“Turn around.”

It didn’t really register at first, but it did coax her to begin singing more pronouncedly. “Every now and then I get a little bit tired, of listening to the sound of my tears~”

“Turn around!”

“Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by!”

“Turn around~”

“Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes!”

“Turn around, bright-eyes!”

“But every now and then I fall apart!”

“Turn around, bright-eyes~”

“Every now and then, I fall apart...”

It was about now, that she realized that somebody was behind her. She did, in fact, turn around, to see her fellow ghoul sitting there with a couple of pairs of specialty glasses and a pile of snacks on a tray. It was unbecoming of her to interrupt a song to speak, but wordlessly, she took the glasses and put them on. Quickly, before the next verse came.

“… Turn around.” Her companion seemed to understand, and made a motion to the sky above them.

“Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild~” The emotion behind her vocals soon began to show on her face, and in the gleam in her eyes. The sheer sadness tinged her voice.

“Turn around~”

“Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I’m lying like a child in his arms~”

“Turn around!”

“Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I’ve got to get out and cry~”

“Turn around~!”

“Every now and then, I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes~”

“Turn around, briiiiight-eeeyes!”

“Every now and then I fall apart!”

“Turn aroooound, briiiight-eeeeeyes~!”

“Every now and then I fall apart!”

The song didn’t pause, but the two of them seemed to have a silent understanding of what was happening right now. One of those rare moments when the music boiled to the surface and it had to be let out.

“And I need him now tonight, and I need him more than ever!”

“And if he only holds you tight, you’ll be holding on forever!”

“And we’ll only be right, ‘cause we’ll never be wrong!”

“Together you can make it to the end of the line!”

“His love is like a shadow on me all of the time! I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark!”

“We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks!”

“Oh, I really need you tonight! Forever’s gonna start tonight!”

“Forever’s gonna start tonight!”

“Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I’m only falling apart… There’s nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heeeaaart~”

“Once upon a time there was light in your life, but now there’s only love in the dark… Nothing you can say, a total eclipse of the heeeaaart~~”

As the instrumental kicked in, she slumped against her fellow singer. It was strange how a song she knew for years could resonate with her that much in the here and now.

“...You feel better?” Her wheelchair-bound compatriot offered her a few candy bars.

“Little bit… just… do me a favor.”

“What’s that.”

“Hold me for a while.”