FAILGORE TROUT DOX
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Billy Walshe
280 Glendale Rd
Bent Mt, VA
24059
USA
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telephone: 1-540-929-0606
aim: williamwalshe
email: billywalshe@gmail.com
facebook: http://www.facebook.com/billywalshe
OKCUPID: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/billybillyb
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FOR TEH LULZ
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MIME-Version: 1.0
Received: by ********** with HTTP; Wed, 16 Mar 2011 11:53:07 -0700 (PDT)
Date: Wed, 16 Mar 2011 14:53:07 -0400
Delivered-To: billywalshe@gmail.com
Message-ID: <AANLkTin+H0WE4Ocu7F5Zpe-7zqs4L7enTNkOnFnWFKvt@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: me again
From: William Walshe <billywalshe@gmail.com>
To: ************
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

you've never once told me about how you feel about me.
when you say things like "i don't know what to say" or give me cold
reasons why you still can't return my calls or letters, it hurts me.
the first letter i wrote you, you didn't return...but i know you must
have still felt something.
every time i see you i think you still feel something. last time, i
did my best to ignore it, and you. like always, the memory has
overwhelmed my consciousness, and i must express it.
you have been so indifferent, but you know what you mean to me.
i meet people everywhere, i make friends, i have friends, i do meet
girls who'd probably be my girlfriend. hell i try to let something
happen, but it doesn't. it can't...i'm lonely no matter where i go or
who i'm around. a party of smiling friends can be hell. i feel so
alone, michaela.
when i say that you've never once told me how you felt about me, i
don't mean it.
you have so many times, but never with words.
you told me once that words are a terrible way to express yourself,
maybe you're right, but i still am trying.
for lack of your touch, i am left with words and paint and music and
wood and it's all shit. no one has a lower opinion of my own artwork
than myself. it is all miserable shadows of what your touch was like.
when i wrote that crock of shit on your facebook, i guess it was
because i couldn't take your indifference. maybe i'd rather have had
you hate me. hate's an emotion and indifference isn't.
you know i didn't mean any of it. to me it was just some joke. do you
know what i wanted? what i was trying to do? i don't think i can ever
truly decipher my own intentions. my closest guess is that i wanted
you to tell me how you felt just once. i didn't even get that much...

michaela, you are the only person on the entire planet to ever tell me
that my web site is fucked up, to my face. i would love you for that
if nothing else.
how can you respond to that ...pile of shit... and not the writing
that is closest to me?
...i love you like i can never love anyone else.