Derpy's Party (TF, WIP, don't expect much)

>Day 9001 in Equestria
>You're getting real sick and tired of these always cheery ponies.
>They always have some way of creating the worst messes possible, yet they still smile and sing.
>You've gotta find their weed supply soon, they can't hide it from you forever...
>You wake up from your bed horribly hungover.
"Ohh... Fffuck... I'm not getting into another drinking competition with Rainbow Dash..."
>You groan loudly and head down to the kitchen grabbing a box of cereal.
>As you were just about finished with your bowl of Generic-O's, you hear a knocking on your door.
>Oh, that must be the mailmare. You always forget her name, what was it- Ditzy? Derpy?
>Some ponies call her Muffins as well, but just to play it safe you refrain from trying to say her name.
>Sighing, you slowly get up and open the door. You didn't walk the dinosaur though, that was outlawed in 34 different countries.
>You look down to see a gray and yellow mare beaming back up at you.
>"Hello, Mr. Anonymous~!" she chirps. "I hope your morning's been going well?"
>You give a little chuckle, then wince from your headache.
"Sure."
>Derpy gives you a pile of mail, while also sporting a confused look on her face from your response.
>"Well, be sure to read what's in there, I think I saw an urgent letter in that stack!" She looks at you for a few more seconds, before suddenly flying away.
>You look at the stack of letters you're holding, and groan.
"The urgent letter must be some bill I forgot to pay, goddamnit."
>This day just keeps getting better and better...

(1/?)

>Sitting down, you start to go through each letter.
"Bills, bills, bills, bills. Nothing new."
>You get to the last letter, which was all sparkly. Opening it, glitter explodes from it, as well as a small piece of paper.
"Nononono- FUCK! AND I JUST CLEANED THIS PLACE UP!"
>Eyeing the paper, you snatch it up from the ground and start to read it.
"This had better be something important, or else I'm gonna- oh, wait, what?"
>Your anger quickly turns to confusion as you read what was hastily scribbled on it.
---------------------------------
Dinner party at Derpy's house!
Muffins, games, and more!
All at 427 Parable Rd. tonight!
            7:30!
---------------------------------
>You flip the paper over, but you can't make out what it says on the back.
>This is very unusual though. She never hosts any parties, let-alone invites the sad, hairless ape to one!
>Well, at least you know to call her Derpy now.
>You check to see if you're busy tonight.
>Get groceries? I can do that in five minutes.
>Netflix & chill with my right hand? That can wait...
>It looks like you're free for the night. Maybe you'll come over, and get to know some of the locals better.
"It's a deal, I guess." You say to noone in particlular.
>Meanwhile, you need to deal with this hangover. Back to bed for you...

(2/?)

>You wake up feeling quite refreshed.
>A lot better than usual, which is a good thing since you need to be extra happy-like at the dinner party.
>Speaking of- OH SHIT! What's the time?!
>You quickly dash over to your clock hanging on the wall and look at the time.
"Seven already?! Damn, I must be a lazy fuck..."
>You quickly get out of your PJ's and into the best looking suit you've got.
>They all look the same, but you just know which one is the best.
>Making sure everything was in order, you tuck the invitation into your pocket and quickly walk out the door towards Derpy's house.
>It's about a 20 minute walk, good thing you woke up in time...
>Your fast-paced walking is soon accompanied by Berry Punch, who has now seemed to take interest in what you're doing.
>"Hey there, Anon!" She says, happily trotting next to you. "What'cha doin'?"
"Heading over to Derpy's house. Say, did you get something like this in the mail today?"
>You pull the invitation paper out of your pocket and show it to her.
>She quickly becomes confused, and motions you to stop walking to she can read it properly.
>"Uhh... No? I wasn't told about this..." Her face quickly turns to anger, and she begins to mutter. "Oh, yeah. Sure. Don't invite the alcoholic, that'll show her not to binge drink..."
>She shakes her head and looks back up at you, forcing a smile. "Nu-uh, haven't gotten one of these. She has been acting sorta strange recently, though..."
>You raise an eyebrow.
"Oh? How so?"
>"Well for one thing, She went out and bought a buncha' things like diapers, and a... collar I think? At first we thought she was expecting a baby, but we couldn't find anything on that and if we asked her, she would get angry and leave..."
>You start to question if going over there would be a good idea. But, maybe she's having a stressful moment right now, and needs someone to talk to.
"Well, I'll be over there all night, probably. I could try to get some info from her, you're welcome to tag along if you want." You begin walking again.

3/?

>"Alrighty! I'm free for the night, lets see who else she invited..." Berry mutters something again, but you don't bother trying to decipher it.
>The two of you walk in silence, until you both arrive at Derpy's house. The porch light is off, and the windows are covered up with curtains.
>You look at your watch. 7:28, no reason she couldn't be home.
>Berry is the first to knock on the door. You both wait for about 20 seconds, before you hear shuffling inside.
>"H-hold on, I'm coming!" You hear a crash inside, and Berry winces.
>"That sounded like it hurt..." Berry says with a worried look.
"I'm sure she's fine, One time I saw her fly right into a-"
>The door flies open, and Derpy jumps out.
>"HELLO! Oops, that was a bit loud... Hehehe~" She giggles, with a very red blush on her face.
>She quickly spots Berry Punch, who is giving Derpy a worried look.
>"Wuh... What are you doing here..." She slowly says, her voice slowly turning angry.
>"Woah woah, settle down, Derpy," Berry nervously backs away. "I just wanted to tag along and have some fu-"
>"YOU WEREN'T INVITED!" Derpy shouts in Berry's face. She becomes scared, and gallops away, crying.
>She slowly turns to you, her face filled with rage. She suddenly becomes cheerful again, much to your dismay.
>"Let's get started!" She now happily says, and pulls you into her house, closing the door.

(4/?)

>Inside of Derpy's house, you can't seem to shake off the feeling that something's not right. She's never acted like this before, what's going on?
>She does make amazing food, though. This dinner was amazing! But that's beside the point. You decide to bring up Berry.
"Uhh... What happened with Berry Punch? Has she been botherin-"
>You're cut off.
>"She wasn't invited, she would ruin this whole night!" Derpy starts to get angry again, and walks into the kitchen.
"But how? I know she can be a bit creepy if she has more then ten cups of cider, but..."
>You notice that noone else has shown up, and it's been ten minutes since the party started.
"...Speaking of invites, who else is supposed to be here?"
>"Just you!" Derpy giggles, now suddenly happy. "I just want to have a fun night with you!"
>Your mind starts thinking dirty things, but you quickly dismiss them. You see Derpy pull a batch of muffins out of the oven.
"Well, if it was going to be only me, why was all that goddamn GLITT- I mean all that special glitter and an invitation letter needed?
>Derpy sets a platter of muffins on a table. "Because I knew if I just asked you alone, you would most likely reject it! I've been studying how you behave, Anon, and I've come to realize that you need some love your life. Now, I know what you're thinking."
>Your jimmies begin to rustle.
>"I also know that your 'Jimmies' are being 'rustled' right now."
>NOPE. GET OUTTA HERE, SHE'S GONE FULL CREEP!
>You begin to stand up.
"Excuse me, but I think I just heard my house explode. I should be on my wa-"
>Derpy jumps on you, forcing you back into the seat. "I don't think you'll be going anywhere for a while..."

5/?

>Shitshitshit
>Derphorse blocks the way!
>You struggle.
>Can't move your body.
>She's really strong for a pony... Or are you feeling more and more tired? And you feel so odd...?
>You try to yell for help, but your voice is gone...
>Derpy leans in close to your ear, you're about to lose consciousness...
>"Shhhh... Just let this happen, sweetie..."
>Everything goes black.
>...
>...
>You wake up, with what feels like a huge hangover.
>You roll over in the bed, clutching your head.
>You feel like something is off...
"Ugghh-"
>Your complaining about the hangover is abruptly stopped when you hear your voice.
>Why do you sound like a five year-old?
>You open your eyes, and gasp in terror as you see your body.
>You now control a small, green pony. You lift your hands- now hooves, up to your face.
>You begin to freak out, not sure what to do.
"Whawha- What...?"
>Your new ears perk up when they hear a door slam shut in front of you.
>"Here comes Mommy~!"

6/?

>You look up, and see Derpy standing in front of you. You're instantly filled with rage.
"YOU! YOU BITCH!"
>Your high-pitched voice still sounds a bit hoarse. (Badum tiss.)
>Derpy just giggles, and lays down on the bed, grabbing and pulling you into her chest.
>"Awwwh... Aren't you just the cutest little thing?"
>You attempt to flail out of her grasp, but to no avail. Derpy holds you closer.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?! LET ME GO!"
>"What makes you think I'm gonna do that?" She flips you onto your back, and nuzzles your nose. "Please, calm down..."
>You refuse. This will not stand.
"NO! I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! LET ME GOooahh...?"
>You're rudely interrupted by Derpy pressing her lips against yours. You resist at first, but as much as you hate it, you slowly begin to lean into the kiss, returning it.
>After a while, she breaks the kiss, and looks at you, beginning to slowly stroke your mane.
>"Now that you're going to listen... You've probably seen by now that you're a beautiful little colt."
>Realization that you are a kid again sets in.
"Oh, you are not going to be my mother, you FUCKI-"
>You're interrupted again by her booping your nose. You instinctively scrunch.
>"Hehee~ That's adorable... Anyway, let mamma talk. The reason why I'm doing this is because ever since you came to Equestria, you always seemed so sad and lonely..."
"That's because everyone avoided me whenever I went outside. No one wanted to be seen near me, or at least befriend the big alien. Ponies were just starting to warm up to me, you know? Why are you doing this? WHY?"
>You feel tears starting to roll down your cheeks. Derpy begins to use her hoof to wipe them away.
>"Because..."

7/?