The Story Of Us

[action in brackets] (adlibbing in parathesis)

You know what I love about you the most? You've probably heard me say this multiple times before but I can't help but keep telling you over and over and over again. I'm just so lucky to have you. And what I love most about you is that you always seem to know exactly what I need at the right times. Most times I won't even ask, I'll just be there in my dark funk and you'll come in like a bright ray of sunshine to pick me up. It's so cliche and maybe it's a bit saccharine but it's the truth. You're the fucking best person in my world and even if we don't last as long as we hope then I'm glad I made such a beautiful friend in you.

[Take a pause]

Do you remember how we first met? Do you mind if I tell the story of us again?

[giggle, happiness!]

Well long time ago in a land far away there was a girl on a bus heading to her film class. And that girl was watching television shows on her netflix and as we all know this opens the girl up to a lot of creepy weirdos who wish to annoy and corrupt her. And on that day, there was a man who did try to do such a thing. The girl did her best to ward him off but his persistence and fedora tipping overpowered the girl. He would constantly keep saying things like, [in the most silly fedora neckbeard voice you can], "Oh but I bet you don't even like Power Rangers" and "Can you even name five Marvel superheroes that aren't in the Avengers???" His dorito nacho breathe still haunts the girl's memories but out of the blue, you came in and you saved the day by sitting next to me and helping me get rid of that creep. You spoke so quickly and so intelligently like a guard or a paladin protecting his friends.

[Wistful sigh] You made me feel like a friend. The creep of a neckbeard left and what was left was you and me to discuss my favourite television shows and classes and comic books and general sense of fashion. [almost whispering] You were much more fashion conscience than me. Where I was merely just a casual dressed plain jane, you were the epitome of runaway. You always made me feel like I was a million dollars richer whenever I stood next to you. You always have that effect on me. And then you asked me if I wanted to drink with you and I said [laughing] I said of course. And from there on you spoke to me about your views on life and your favourite video games and your favourite cigarette brands. You even offered one to me but I declined because smoking wasn't for me and you know what you respected me for it! You were the fucking bees knees and you asked if I wanted to come back to your place and I said of course. I was swept by your beauty, by your cool, by your everything that I couldn't help but come back and see how your home looked.

And to my surprise, your home was a fucking mess. [laugh] But it made sense to me. Clothes thrown all over the place, pizza boxes on tables, and tea cups scattered around. There were even records on the ground that you swore to me didn't matter. [whispering] although I swear when I stepped on one by accident you nearly had a panic attack haha. And when I offered to clean up for you, you stopped me and handed me a joint. I refused and as opposed to lighting it up anyway, you put it away and decided to make me some tea. You remember what my favourite tea is don't you? It's the one you made for me the first day I stepped in your apartment. And I've been drinking it and thinking of you and I meeting ever since.

But now the good part. The part that the audience and the folks at home have been waiting for. The big question of whether or not we fucked. And the answer... Which surprised me... was that I didn't. Instead, you removed your jacket, and we sat on the couch drinking tea and talking about various other things and you told me I was cute. And I blushed. And I looked away. And you kept saying it to me and you kissed me. And your lips were the softest lips I've ever touched. I've only ever kissed a few people in my lifetime but your lips felt so... [make a kiss noise here, softly] welcome. And I've loved them from day one and I love them now on whatever day this is.

The rest, as most people can say, is history. But it's not just history. It's history in the making. Because you're still, by whatever grace of God, with me to this day. And I love you. And I love you. And I love you so much. [kissing noises here, like making out]

[A giggle, light one] You're the best girlfriend I've ever had.