Hush Now

The day I found out that I was going to be a mother was the best day of my life. It was my reward after five painful years of trying and failing. That was until David came literally crashing into my life. I was eight months pregnant at the time and on my way to the baby shower; When all of a sudden the car in the left lane crossed over and hit me head on. I would later find out the other driver was drunk and walked away without a scratch. We were not so lucky, three surgeries and a two-week coma later, I was released from the hospital. But, by that time I was no longer a whole person. I mean I could not even attend my child's own funeral, they said she was perfect in every way, they named her hope.

Even after three years I could not get over the loss of my baby girl, and what added insult to injury David got off with five hundred hours of community service. A slap on the wrist and a slap in my face. How is it that he gets to get on with his life and I have to be reminded every day of the void he left. That is when the thoughts started, "Take away from those, what was taken away from you." As the days passed the thoughts became louder and louder until they were all I could hear. The worst part was I started to agree with them. Why should they have a gift that they do not even care about?  I knew I had to do something and that is just what I did. The next morning I went out and just watched the sea of people as they flooded in and out of Golds' grocery store. That is when I saw it, a tired weepy looking woman pushing an infant that could not be but a few days old. When the feeling crept in this time I did not try and quiet it, it actually made me smile.

After she made her way into the store I pulled up beside her car and sure enough a letter sat in her front seat, Addressed to her for all the world to see. I drove out to the address down a long country road, the warm breeze filling my lungs, getting me excited for what would come soon enough. This could not have been more perfect a lone house, with not a neighbor for miles. After a brief stop to check out the house, I left, now was not the time. As the evening drew to a close, mine was just starting I would take that child and they would be mine.

Finally, the last light went out and I prepared for what I had come to do. I went to the front of the house and gently pushed the key into the door. It was hard to believe that people still left keys under the mat, but this was beside the point, focus. I could feel my heart in my throat. Finally I made it to the child's room, as I crept over to the crib I could hear the soft inhale and exhale of what was soon to be my child. I lifted her from the crib and into my arms, She still had that new baby smell and it felt so right. That was until I heard the baby stir and I knew it was about to sound the alarm. As the first whimper left her mouth, I had to act fast so I held her tight to my chest until I knew she had not awoken her mother. When I looked at her I saw the light had left her eyes, she was dead. I knew I should feel some kind of horror, but instead I felt nothing. As I laid the now lifeless body back down another thought occurred to me, I did not want them to think it was an accident. So, I took a green crayon and wrote right above the crib; "Now you will really have something to be sad about."

A few weeks passed and I knew I had to do it again, I had not felt so alive in years. The next was a little boy, he was no older than six years old.   As I passed by I heard in a hushed angry tone, "You ask one more time and you will never come out with me again. Put it back right now." The man snatched the little stuffed puppy from the boys hand and wrench the little boys arm as they exited the aisle. That night while the boy was out back playing on his tire swing I approached him with that puppy. He was too busy grabbing for the toy to even realize the knife. By the time he did it was too late it had already sliced into his neck preventing him from screaming out. leaning down I pinned a note to his overalls. "You should not have gotten angry with me."

After that was a little girl and she had fallen on the ground, skinning her knee. The woman did not even notice and when the girl reached out to her mother for comfort the woman just kept walking. It was easy enough to gain her trust that night, all I did was offer her a candy bar laced with rat poison. After the funeral, I sent them a card and it simply read "I bet you wished you had not denied me all the love I asked for."

Several months later while I was watching the news, I heard the words I have been longing to hear. "A suspect in the deaths of Valerie Malcolm, Bradly Mc Knight, and Jamie Anderson; has been arrested. David Gold Sr. of Golds' Grocery was apprehend late Tuesday evening in connection with these slayings."   The trial went relatively quickly and he had already been found guilty in the court of public option. It did not take long for the Jury to do the same, and they came back with the verdict of death.  Despite all his begging and pleading, it could not save him from the electric chair. I only wish he had known it was me that left all the clues. The receipt for the stuffed puppy stashed in his car. The hair left in the envelope, that matched his color and length. Of course, the green crayon hidden in the crawl space under his house.
 As the years passed the thoughts had all but stopped and I could finally move on with my life. I accepted all the horrors that had taken place and I was finally at peace. That was until there was a knock at my door.   There stood a man and before I could say anything he spoke. "Mam we never met, but I know you will know my name I am David Gold Jr and seven years ago I hit your car. I never did get to say I was sorry and wanted you to know I cleaned up my act. Part of my AA I come to admit what I did was wrong and ask for your forgiveness." I had gotten revenge on the wrong man. The father paid for the sins of the son. Oh God, what have I done.