ReLive: The Unreasonable Routes To Redeeming The Villainess (ch8)

We'll be going back to Claudine's perspective for this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight.

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							Chapter 8. Curse

All of Claudine's failed attempts to make herself the villainess in the others' eyes, and to fulfill her role in this ReLive had been frustrating.

But nothing had been more devastating to her than when she'd actually hurt Karen and caused her to shed tears.

Claudine had fled from them all, ran until her legs couldn't carry her a single step further. She'd collapsed to her knees in the gardens and sobbed until she'd had no tears left to cry.

That had been the last she remembered.

And yet, somehow, she'd woken the next morning in her own bed. She had no recollection of getting there herself, but she'd just assumed she must have managed it in some half-conscious state, and never had any reason to think further than that on the matter.

And in spite of her warring emotions and the indecision that has plagued her for so long now, she eventually comes to a sort of truce with this stage.

In order to buy herself time, Claudine decides to continue fulfilling her role as the villainess by trying to hurt the other characters played by her friends.

And she truly does put in her full effort to try and cause them harm. But judging by who she really is, even putting her heart into it doesn't allow for her to actually do much damage, if any. She just isn't capable of it.

By these standards, she is fulfilling her duty as an actress by giving her all to the villainess role, therefore she is not expelled from the stage.

And she is also not actually hurting her friends, because she just couldn't do that even if she wanted to, therefore she retains her memories of herself and Seishou, and does not lose herself to the stage as the rest of them had.

Even though she feels it is only a matter of time…

The truth is she has no idea what she should do from here, or how she should let the play continue. She has no idea what she can do to save the others and bring everyone back to their rightful world. Right now, Claudine is biding her time in a limbo of sorts, not choosing one thing or another.

So she continues on with her half-hearted pranks and harsh words, pushing her friends or casting spells to embarrass them, glaring at them and snapping at them and laughing at their most minor of misfortunes. Just enough to be cruel, but not enough to be entirely believable.

She keeps her distance from the others except to bully them, because she fears getting too close now and potentially risking a slip-up. She'd almost done it once or twice, almost broken down and called out to one of them by name and said she was sorry. Each time, she'd only just barely managed to stop herself, and she isn't sure how much longer she'll be able to keep that up.

And she notices, little by little, the play is changing around her.

And that isn't a good thing.

It's all because Claudine is gradually failing her role.

Due to her prestige and skill, the Viscountess was supposed to be offered an important duty of hallway patrol by the school staff. This is where she would later find the sacred artifact in the library, steal it, frame the Village Girl, and set the climax of the play into motion.

But Claudine is never offered that position of hallway duty, which could possibly erase the pathway to the intended plot and climax altogether - without an authorized excuse to be at the library at the time the artifact allegedly goes missing, it would be all too obvious that it is Claudine herself who steals it, rather than simply finds it missing. And thus she would never be able to frame Karen for treason, or become half the villainess she's meant to be.

There was supposed to be a minor scene of the Baroness and the Knight having an argument about a missing spell book. In the original script, the Viscountess had hidden it away and framed each of them in the other's eyes to pit them against each other. Eventually they learn the truth and reconcile, but the point of the scene is to begin turning the other characters against the Viscountess.

And yet, Claudine realizes that scene never happens. Even though she hides the spell book as she's supposed to, Junna and Futaba do not fight or argue or accuse each other of the tome's absence. Rather, they work together to locate it, and never so much as frown at each other once throughout the ordeal.

There should also be a similar scene where the Marchioness and the Lady have a heated argument over a lie the Viscountess planted in their heads. But instead of shouting and yelling at one another, Nana and Hikari talk it out calmly until they come to understand it was a miscommunication.

And a scene where the Heiress and the Village Girl have a little picnic date together never happens at all. Originally, the Heiress would pursue the Village Girl in order to get back at the Duchess for fooling around with a commoner and risking not only her own, but also the Heiress' reputation and credibility as a fellow noble.

But the more days that pass, Claudine realizes she isn't seeing Maya taking much of an interest in Karen at all. And since the Duchess has no interest in the Village Girl, there is no need for the Heiress' spite against her. Rather than act childishly and try to get back at the Duchess by going on a date with the object of her affections, Kaoruko and Maya remain on amiable terms all the while.

The Heiress and the Knight should come to kindle their own love eventually, but it would appear they have begun much sooner than the script called for it. The same goes for the Baroness and the Marchioness. And - in a bit of an odd twist - the Lady and the Dame come to take a romantic interest in each other as well.

And it's then - what must be nearly two months in the time of this world - when Claudine realizes the events of the play have begun slipping irrevocably out of her control.

Maya is supposed to fall in love with Karen, which will breed Claudine's jealousy and Kaoruko's spite, and thus cause rifts between all of the characters.

So why?

Why is it that every time Claudine does something that is meant to be wicked, nothing bad ever comes of it?

Why is it that the only person being hurt by her tricks is Claudine herself, for fearing the consequences of her failure?

And why is it that every single time without fail, the Duchess seems to be there watching her with sympathetic eyes…?

She isn't quite sure when that had started happening, but she'd glimpsed Maya looking at her a few times here or there. Claudine had thought nothing of it initially, but now as she realizes the play is slowly changing and warping from its original script, she's come to discover that Maya seems to be there with her at just about every turn.

No matter how nasty Claudine tries to be, Maya still smiles at her.

No matter what horrible words she spouts, Maya still chooses to sit beside her.

No matter how many times she pushes her away, Maya keeps coming back to her.

By the time Claudine finally understands what's happening, it's far too late.

Somehow, the Duchess had turned away from the Village Girl and fallen in love with the Viscountess instead.

Claudine doesn't know how or why, or when it had happened, but she knows it's all her own fault.

/It's because I failed my role… Because of that, everyone else's characters changed in ways the script never called for… And now she- Tendo Maya is…/

Presently, Claudine is in the cafeteria, where she'd gotten up to move tables a total of six times now to try and avoid the Duchess' company. But Maya had followed her regardless, and is now seated across from her, wearing a lax and pleasant smile. Claudine's heart catches in her throat to the point where she can't even swallow. It's all too clear to her now.

/The Duchess is in love with me…/

It can't be. It just can't. Because an alteration as major and game-changing as that may be impossible for Claudine to rectify.

She'd been careless. She'd realized it too late. And now the play might never be saved.

/And we might not be either…/

The thought sickens her to her stomach, to the point where she feels it twist. Whatever glaring expression she'd set on her face to fruitlessly try and scare Maya away with now melts into one of dread and dismay.

With a screech of her chair, Claudine jumps up from her seat and races out of the cafeteria as quickly as she can manage. She hears Maya's cry of surprise calling after her, but Claudine doesn't dare stop.

She rushes to the restrooms, throws herself into a stall, and retches up everything in her stomach.

The fear is too great, the despair of knowing that she'd failed…

Because of Claudine's inability to play her part, now all of her friends will be trapped here forever, never able to return to Seishou or remember who they once were. They'll all just be stuck here in a world that doesn't deserve them.

But when she considers all the terrible things she's tried to do to them, perhaps it's Claudine who doesn't deserve them…

Another surge of acid stirs in her stomach, and she heaves again, coughing it all up before it can burn her throat too much. Tears start brimming, and she doesn't feel she has the strength to stop them anymore. So long as no one else sees the villainess like this, she should be able to cry, right…?

/What can I do…? What can I possibly do to save the play now… when it's gone this far off-course…? Is it even possible to save it at this point…?/

She has no idea. But before she can even fathom something she might be able to do to start correcting things, she jolts at the sound of the bathroom door being opened.

"Viscountess…?"

It's her voice. Of course it is.

Hearing it makes Claudine cry harder, but even so she does her best to keep to her role and put a snarl into her voice.

"Get out."

She hates how weak her own voice sounds - a rasping echo around the tiled walls.

And of course Maya doesn't obey her command. Rather, she rounds the corner and slowly opens the door to the stall where Claudine had taken shelter, and a look of absolute shock crosses her features.

"Viscountess-!"

"Get away from me-!" Claudine tries to yell at her, but it just upsets her stomach even more, and she ends up retching into the toilet once again.

Again, Maya disregards her request and drops to her knees beside her.

And Claudine hates how gently Maya touches her now, because it makes her feel weaker than ever before.

She wants to give in. She wants to stop acting and call Maya by name and cling to her, even if Maya won't recognize her.

/No… I have to be the villainess…/

Because that is her only hope in allowing for an ending where everyone makes it out of this place and will remember everything.

So Claudine tries her best to glare at her again, though it really comes off as more of a pleading look for help at this point.

Maya tears some toilet paper from the dispenser and offers it to her. Claudine tries to snatch it from her, but she ends up weakly grasping it with shaking fingers instead before cleaning her mouth with it.

Claudine may not be able to fend her off, so she makes sure not to look her in the eyes right now.

She hears Maya murmuring a spell, and a moment later, Claudine feels a soothing warmth at the center of her back. Maya touches her with healing magic, a spell that alleviates great deals of Claudine's physical pain almost instantly. This is the kind of spell a person can only use on someone else, to help others.

In just seconds, Claudine's gasping breaths become steady and calm, and her pounding heartbeat flutters off into a steadier, more comfortable pace. She sighs, closing her eyes for just a second, not even realizing how much she's leaning against Maya now…

"Viscountess…" Maya murmurs, stroking a hand through her hair. "Are you all right? Was it perhaps that something you ate was spoiled…?"

Claudine scoffs meekly, still refusing to look up.

"That must be it…" she laughs wryly. "Something inside me is spoiled and rotten…" Probably her heart.

But Maya doesn't seem to think so.

She continues her soothing spell, keeping her arms around Claudine to support her. She eases Claudine away from the toilet and flushes it, then casts a spell to fill the air with the calming scent of lavender.

Claudine breathes it in with a shudder of relief, and the tears come anyway.

For a long moment, they're both quiet, though Claudine is certain Maya can feel, if not hear, the pounding of her heart. For her to be showing such an unseemly side of herself to the Duchess like this - when she's supposed to be the feared and hated villainess…

The play truly might be beyond saving.

Eventually, Claudine manages to lift her head, mustering up as much courage as she has left to finally look Maya in those gentle, caring eyes of hers.

"Why-?" she mumbles. "Why did you come find me…? I hate you, you know. I hate all of you-"

But even just in saying it, she starts to cry all over again, and it's all too clear she doesn't mean a word of what she said. Maya pulls off some more paper, but Claudine's tears are coming too quickly for her to wipe them all away without the paper ripping from the wetness, so Maya eventually resorts to using her own thumb.

"Because," she murmurs. "Truth be told… I have become quite fond of you, Viscountess Saijou."

Claudine's heart is both hurt and happy to hear that. She wishes it were truly Maya saying that to her, but she knows it's only the Duchess speaking to the Viscountess. And even that shouldn't ever happen in this play.

"Why-?" Claudine demands. "After all I've done to you… to everyone…"

"You say that," Maya replies. "And yet, with all the wrong you claim to have committed, you've never hurt anyone but yourself in the end. Isn't that right?"

Claudine swallows and says nothing. Maya's hand continues rubbing soft circles on her back, and the other rests itself over both of Claudine's hands in her lap.

"Viscountess Saijou," she says. "Whenever you tried to do something to Miss Aijou or any of the rest of us, you always did so mindfully. And perhaps it wasn't even your conscious intention to do these things in ways or in places that would not actually cause us harm. But even so, you have never done anything that would allow for any of us to get seriously injured in any way."

"Shut up!" Claudine growls. "I've done horrible things! Don't make excuses for me-"

"They are not excuses," Maya says honestly. "They are explanations. Explanations that prove you are not a wicked person at heart. Surely even you must know that, Viscountess…?"

How? Claudine can't fathom how Maya is getting through to her like this, when she doesn't even know who she is, or remember their past friendship and rivalry back at Seishou. This Maya doesn't even know Saijou Claudine.

And yet, somehow, she's acting like she always would with her back at school.

Somehow - in spite of all Claudine has tried to do in this world - Maya still sees the good in her.

Claudine sniffles.

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

"It is all right." Maya speaks to ease her mind and her heart, once again stroking her fingers through Claudine's hair. "I know of your curse. And I know you may be unable to speak of it due to various circumstances… But I promise you now, Viscountess Saijou, that I will do everything within my power to help you break free of it."

"Curse…?" Claudine chokes. "What-"

But when she takes a moment to think it through, it truly does feel like that. She isn't allowed to speak of her mission, of this stage or of the giraffe, or of their real world, lest she break the fourth wall and ruin 'Ashes of the Phoenix' completely. There's no doubt in her mind that there are Korosu lingering somewhere, waiting for the chance to burst through and swarm them all at the slightest lapse.

A curse truly seems to fit her situation. After all, she has an impossible decision to make: either free her friends by becoming a villain, or continue playing a half-hearted role and stay here with them where they know nothing of the other world or each other.

So long as they are all together here… isn't that what matters most? Even if they don't remember her or their old lives… at the very least they are all together.

And if Maya has come to love her in this world, would it really be all that bad? After all, the Viscountess did join the Magic Academy because she had feelings for the Duchess, so would it truly be that terrible if they were to kindle something now…?

She could be with Maya here, like this. They could all be together…

/How selfish can I possibly be-?/

Claudine sobs, bowing her head, and she doesn't mean to rest it against Maya's shoulder, but it simply happens that way.

/How…? How could I even think to consider something as horribly selfish as letting us all stay trapped in here forever, just so I can be with them? Just so I can see some version of Tendo Maya look at me with such caring eyes…/

Once again, she feels she truly may be becoming her character - a selfish girl who thinks of no one but herself.

"I can't…" She ends up uttering the words out loud through her sobs, unable to stop herself from lifting her hands to cling to Maya's back. "I-"

She bites her lip before she can say any more. She very nearly gives in right at that moment, but a sliver of willpower remains.

She must keep trying to fulfill her role.

She must get everyone out of here and back to their world…

But the Duchess Tendo Maya really does make it difficult for her to want to leave this place when she wraps Claudine in her arms now and hugs her close. Her embrace is warm and gentle, and Claudine feels like she's being forgiven, absolved of every crime she'd ever tried - and failed - to commit.

/Damn you, Tendo Maya… Because of you, the ReLive will fail. Because of you, I'll never become the villainess I'm meant to be. Because of you, this play will never be finished as it should be. It's all your fault…/

Claudine clings to her and cries, blaming Maya instead. But deep down, she knows it's all truly her own fault.

Because of Claudine, they will all be trapped here, and Claudine herself will either be expelled from the ReLive and have her memories of them erased for good, or she will linger on this stage with them forever, or until the Korosu break free to overwhelm them.

Either way, Claudine's story will end in tragedy.

But isn't that fitting for the villainess...?

Until then, maybe she can be granted just a little bit of happiness…

So she cries herself to sleep there in Maya's arms, and truly doesn't care if she wakes again or not.

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A/N: Our Claudine is beginning to lose her sense of what's 'right' and 'wrong' now because of the impossible choice she faces. I hope her plight and her confusion was clearly described enough; part of her wants to just keep staying in the ReLive with them, so she can have Maya to herself as she wants, even if it isn't really Maya. But how long can she even have that until the play expels her or gets destroyed...?