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- >You are Etiquette
- >And you are pissed
- >Rarity tried to help you so much, and you were so close to winning
- >The ponies had seen your grumpieness and offered to let you help with the race
- >You weren't even mad that Team Gore had won, they played fair and square
- >What really ticked you off was that Picklehead
- >He had cheated
- >Him and his stupid reality-altering jar
- >You knew Team Gore felt the same way
- >And many of the other namefags
- >They wanted him to be disqualified, but the ponies had never said 'Oh remember everyone, no magic jars!'
- >You had to stop Picklehead, and make this contest fair
- >Its a good thing your job in the race is to fire the starting gun
- >Now to make sure it wouldn't be a blank
- >You are now Twilight
- >Something has been nagging you all day
- When Fluttershy had asked you for help, you had said yes of course because she was one of your best friends
- >But why
- >Why these challenges, and why only humans?
- >And why was the prize a house? And how had she afforded it?
- >Too many questions
- >You spot Fluttershy in the crowd near the starting line, and join her
- Hi Fluttershy!
- >"Oh, hi Twilight! Are you excited for the race?"
- Uh, yeah. Listen, I had a question. Why are you doing all this? The race, the scavenger, like, why now?
- >"You really wanna know?"
- Yeah
- >"Okay, but its kind of embarassing. I...uhm...I think I have a thing for humans. For the past couple of weeks I've been SO busy trying to find out every namefag's fetish everyday, so i thought, hey, why not minimize my results. So I thought of this contest, where only the best possible human could win, guarenteeing I get the best ..um..monkey dick.."
- But what about the house?
- >"I...um...sold the cottage, I'll be living with the winner of the race
- >You are now Etiquette again
- >The race is now ready
- >A simple track has been erected through out the town, only one lap wins the race
- >4PP138100M, Slasher Science, Fractured Flow, Fagdude, Badpacing and Picklehead have taken their places
- >You wait an extra minute for all the ponies and other namefag spectators to settle down, then give Pinkie Pie the signal
- >She raises a meg-phone to her lips
- >"Three!"
- >You load the bullet
- >"Two!"
- >You take aim
- >"ONE!"
- >You take the safety off, and fire at your target
- >You are Picklehead
- >You open your mouth and shout to the heavens
- NOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY, OH GOD, OH CELESTIA, OH POWERS THAT BE, WHY?
- >You try to hold back the tears, but they come flowing
- >You look down in your hands and see red
- >You try to pick up the peices that used to be Jeremy, but get cut further on the glaass shards
- >Your one and only love in this cruel world, gone
- >You pick up a shiv-sized portion of glass, and you turn to Etiquette, who stands there, gun smoking
- >The other racers have taken off, and the crowd has moved to the finish line, not realizing the tradgedy that has occurred in the confusion and excitement
- >You pick yourself up, and with shard in hand, sprint towards Etiquette
- HOW COULD YOU? YOU MONSTER!
- >As you scream this, you reach Etiquette
- >He cocks the gun back, and pushes it forward
- >"Put the glass down Picklehead. It was just a jar. Don't make me use this"
- Just a jar? JUST A JAR! He was that and so much more! He was more than you'll ever be!
- >You lunge at Etiquette, but he dodges and retaliates, hitting you with the butt of the gun and sweeping your legs out from under you simultaneously
- >As you hit the ground, the shard of Jeremy (sniffle) goes out of your hand, bouncing out of reach
- >Etiquette points the gun down
- I will never stop until I avenge him, so you might as well do it! Kill me! I'll be with Jeremy in eternity!
- >He looks at you grimly
- >"So be it"
- >He tenses up, and pulls the trigger
- >The resounding gunfire sounds like a cannon
- >But...you're fine?
- >It was just a blank!
- >While Etiquette is still standing there stunned, you get up and sprint away
- >Revenge will come later Jeremy
- >You promise that
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