Wario: Waaaaugh!

Mario: Wa-ha! (spinpunch)

Luigi: Wa! Wahoo! (punch, kick)

Wario: Waaaugh…

Waluigi: What are you DOING, Wario? You’re losing! Hurry up and release me already!

Wario: NO! I’m-a still angry at you for that-a mushroom mix-up!

Waluigi: C'mon, they only had to pump HALF of your-a stomach!

Wario: I know…I lost-a so much of my-a belly! It took a WEEK of garlic-munching to get my gut back!
I don’t want anything to do with you anymore!

Waluigi: You don’t mean that, Wari-

Wario: YES I DO!

Waluigi: Wario…listen…Waluigi isn’t number one.

Wario: Wa?

Waluigi: And you aren’t either. ESPECIALLY if you lose to those goody two-shoes plumbers.

Wario: What are you going on about-a now? You can’t trick me with the brother thing twice!

Waluigi: That’s old hat! Waluigi would NEVER repeat old schemes! But listen.

I don’t really like you, and you don’t really like me. That’s always gonna be how it is.
But don’t you see? If we can put aside our differences and work as one rotten villain, think of all the

OTHER
people wa can make even more miserable together!

Wario: That’s-a…THAT’S-A TRUE!

Waluigi: Now…why don’t wa start-a with those Mario brothers?

Wario: Wa-ha! Good idea! Let'sa go!

Mario: Hello? Wario?

Luigi: Are you going to fight or not? I thought I was the scaredy-cat here, but I guess that’s you! Ho-ho!

Mario: Ha-ha! Good one-a bro!

Luigi: He must be scared of fighting us alone!

Wario: Wahaha…I’m not alone at all…

*pulls the assist trophy out from behind his back, releases waluigi*

Luigi: Oh noooo…

Waluigi: You were expecting to tag-team Wario?

*Waluigi delivers a rapid series of kicks to mario, who goes flying*

Waluigi: Wa! Wawawawawawawaaaa!

Mario: Waaaahahahaaaaaa! *ding*

Waluigi: Too bad. Waluigi time.

Announcer: PLAYER ONE DEFEATED.

Luigi: One-on-one, eh? I can-a handle that….wait, why aren’t you vanishing?

Waluigi: *chuckle* Don’t you see, Luigi?

Wario/Waluigi: We fight as one!

*SONG STARTS*

Both:
This is the Wa team
Spoilin’ your day!
And no matter what you try to do to get rid of us two
Can’t make us go away!
Like on-disc DLC wa’re here to stay!

Don’t you dare think this battle’s for fun!
Come at us no items final destination
Let’s-a go, just wa and you
Let’s-a go, just 1v2

You think you can hit us? Maybe you’ve forgotten
That together wa’re immeasurably rotten
Wa can see you gettin’ mad, sayin’ wa’re cheatin’
But you know you’re just ‘fraid to be beaten!

Nobody can stop what wa do together
Wa are gonna ruin everything forever
Whan you knock us out, wa’ll just respawn stronger
And wa’ll torture you for much much longer

Wa are a-a

Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a

Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a

Luigi: Owowowo…those two are cheating! Save-a-meee!

Announcer: What’s going on here! Waluigi?

Waluigi: Waaah! Wario, Quickly, wa’ve got to take him out!

Wario: Why’s that?

Waluigi: Just trust me.

Wario: OK. Hey-a you! Letsa go!

Announcer: What? What are you doing?

Wario/Waluigi: Waaaaaa…WA-HAAA! *hit*

Announcer: How can you even hit me? I’m just a metaphysical voooooice! *ding*

Wario/Waluigi:
This is how we fight
This is how we duel
If you try to overrule us
Wa’ll just bust up all your rules!
Cause wa have devotion
To the spread of misery
And this time wa will fight different
Nobody cheating but WE!

You think you can hit us? Maybe you’ve forgotten
That together wa’re immeasurably rotten
Wa know you must be crying a river of fear
Cos wa’re drinking your delicious tears

Wa are so much more than wa are alone
Wa can disgust more than wa’d ever known
Wa are your worst fears
Wa are your Sadness
Wa are your Inner badness

Wa are a-a

Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa’re Wa better than you

Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa’re Wa better than you

Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa’re Wa better than you

Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a

*song end*

Wario/Waluigi:

LETSA GOOO!

WAAAAAA! *huge impact*

Luigi: Awawawawawaaaaa! *ding*

Announcer: GAME!

*sfx for end of smash match*

Announcer: and the winner is…ME.

Wario/Waluigi: Wah?

Wario: We didn’t fight any miis…

Announcer: Not Mii. ME.

Waluigi: But-a we won!

Announcer: By CHEATING! But don’t worry, I know exactly what to do with cheaters like you.
Isn’t that right, WALUIGI?

Waluigi: Waaaah…Wario…RUUUN! *oof*

Announcer: You can’t escape the victory screen until all players press A, Waluigi.

Mario: Oh yeah!

Luigi: That’s right!

Wario: Why are you afraid, Waluigi? Wa can take-a him again!

Waluigi: Not when he’s in control!

Wario: Waaah…

Anouncer: A word of advice to WARIO and WALUIGI - DON’T F*CK WITH THE ANNOUNCER!

*SLAM*

Waluigi: Weh..heh…Well, Wario, Welcome to Waluigi time…

Wario: Grr….

Waluigi: Don’t-a worry! I’m sure someone will let us out in a day…or a week…or a month…
a year…you know, you were the only one that ever actually let me OUT of this thing.

Wario: Waluigi…YOU’VE-A DOOMED US-A BOTH! YOU’RE A GONNA PAY FOR THIS YOU GANGLY GOOFBALL!

Waluigi: Waaaa! What happened to working together?!