me: tizen opener
her: that was the greatest opener i've ever heard
me: i'm a pro. first things first, our family has to wear hot pink track suits
her: can i wear nothing? i want to know what it feels like to be arrested by a cop while naked
me: you are only allowed to be naked around me, including showers
her: that might be difficult when i go home
me: that's why you'll wear a body cam
her: so you can see all the food porn that i make?
me: whatever floats your boat. also i was thinking our track suits would have "#blessed" branded on the ass
her: (can't remember)
me: i was thinking crotch tattoos initially but we need to save money for our kids