Living the Good Life: Chapter 4

>You awaken to a weight upon your chest. Oh please let it not be who you think it is… “Hi Anonymous!” comes a voice, you open your eyes to find Screwball sitting on your chest, beaming.
>You yawn in response, causing her to poke you with a fore hoof, “Wakey wakey sleepyhead Daddy’s got a mission for you!” you shake yourself awake, “Mission?” you ask as you look over the screwy mare.
>”Yup, Daddy says that since you made a friend so easily yesterday you’ve gotta make a new friend today!” Screwball says with glee, unfortunately for her you don’t share her enthusiasm.
>Discord really wanted you to make another friend? You’re still getting used to the aspect of being around inhuman creatures.
>You’d ask what Discord would do if you refused, but the ‘Ruler of Equestria’ and his capability of traveling in between worlds made you think refusing him would be a bad idea.
>So you begrudgingly get out of you soft, comfortable bed and walk over to your mirror. Lucky for you Discord allowed this room to stay somewhat normal.
>White carpeting covered the floor of your 100x100 square space. By your wall opposite your door is where your bed has been placed. Like the bed you first woke up in it’s a queen sized mattress.
>A dark blue thick, fuzzy blanket, lays crumpled at the foot of your bed. Your stark white sheets would be all you need the ‘house’ you’re living in is kept quite warm.
>To your left sits an oversized ivory dresser, inside is the clothing Discord graciously provided for you. And by ‘graciously provided’ you mean he simply teleported to your house, grabbed your clothes, and then hastily threw them in to this dresser.
>As far as other furniture is concerned you’ve got a simple oak nightstand sitting next to your bed, other than that there’s no furniture…it feels kind of empty but you can’t complain. It’s better than what you had.
>You sift through the drawers of your dresser in order to come up with an outfit. A white short sleeved shirt, blue jeans, and white high tops end up being your choice of clothing for the day.
>But first, shower; grabbing a nearby rainbow swirled towel you start to strip out of yesterday’s clothes. You stop when you get to your pants; you turn to Screwball who’s just eyeing you curiously from your bed.
>”Are you gonna leave or was there something else you needed to tell me?” you ask as you look over Screwball. She shakes her head, “Nope.” She responds.
>“Then why are you here? I’m tryin to prep for my shower. Not that your presence is all that bad, just doesn’t feel right getting naked in front of someone I’ve just met.” You say as you point to your door.
>Screwball shrugs, “I’m just trying to figure out why you’re wearing clothes at all, nop0ny wears clothes,” she says with a smile.
>”It’s a human thing,” you respond, “Now please leave,” she sighs, “Fiiiine. Hurry up, Twilight will be checking up on you in an hour,” Screwball responds as she trots to your door.
>”How do you know that?” you ask as she opens your door, “Daddy made me watch her sleeping patterns…trust me I know,” and with that she leaves you to your own devices.
>Well looks like Discord isn’t winning ‘father of the year’ anytime soon. You shake your head before stripping down in to your birthday suit. With pep in your step you grab your towel and open your door.
>Yeah this hallway is the same as before…and it still gives you a headache when you look at it. As you make your way to your bathroom door you watch the adjacent door open.
>Out comes Eris with her hair wrapped up in a black towel, she turns to look at you. “Morning OH WHAT THE HELL HAVE SOME DECENCY!” she covers her eyes with a lion’s paw.
>You hurriedly open your bathroom door and walk inside, you peer out of your bathroom, you see Eris uncover her eyes.
>“Dude, at least warn me when you’re gonna walk out like that,” she says giving you a disapproving stare, you look behind her to see Screwball laughing her flank off.
>You shout out to Screwball, “I thought being naked wasn’t a bad thing since you’re all naked anyway!” you hope she understands that you’re mocking her.
>Eris responds, “Yeah we’re naked, but that doesn’t mean I want to see some stallion’s package just flopping around,” she shakes her head before floating in to her room.
>She slams the door behind her. You give Screwball a deadpan glare, which makes her laugh even harder. With a sigh you shut the door to your bathroom.
>Like your bedroom, your bathroom is nothing special. Sure it’s large, but the white tile floor, white tub, silver showerhead, white sink, et cetera isn’t anything out of the ordinary.
>You take your shower, using a nearby bottle of…lilac bodywash and shampoo you get to work. After a good thirty minute shower you dry off, head back to your room, and get dressed for the day.
>As you’re heading out of your room you look to find Screwball sitting in the dark half of the hallway. When you close your door she turns to you. “So, ready to go?” she asks as she gives you a devious grin.
>You open your mouth to answer, “Too late!” and with that she gallops over to you, grabs your shirt in her maw, and with strength no living creature should have she flings you in to the dark half of the hallway.
>You yelp when your head hits the pillows of the bed in Twilight’s basement. So THAT’S how you’ll be moving about…Screwball didn’t have to throw you.
>In fact how did she…nevermind, the answer would probably be something along the lines of magic or chaos anyway. That’s something you’re going to have to get used to.
>From your position you take a quick look around the dim lighting of Twilight’s basement. You spot various pieces of advanced equipment…this mare has connections…
>Aside from that and a set of assorted beakers and a lie detector set upon a nearby table there’s not much to look at. You get out of bed and make your way up the stairs to the main floor of the library.
>As you bend down to ensure you don’t smack your head upon the door frame you look to find that neither Twilight nor Spike have woken up yet. Screwball was right…
>Just why did her father…have her do that? You’re so confused you don’t even hear the approaching hoofsteps of a p0ny from outside the library.
>The mystery p0ny knocks upon the door…loudly. This brings you back from your thoughts of Discord being a terrible father.
>”TWILIGHT OPEN UP IN THERE! WE KNOW YOU’RE HIDING AN ALIEN! FLUTTERSHY SAID SO!” shouts a mare from outside. She starts beating on the door even harder than before.
>Oh god this one sounds mean like Flutterbitch…but that’s just it, it isn’t Fluttercunt, who could this mystery mare be? Without thinking you approach the door.
>You kneel and open the library door, big mistake. When you open the door the mystery mare keeps pounding away…this time at your chest. Hooves pound in to your chest and stomach.
>”I SAID OPEN UP IN THERE!” the mystery mare shouts, she’s got her eyes closed and she’s looking away, not doubt trying to put her all in to knocking…yeah she’s a bitch just like Flutters.
>”The.ouch.door.fuck.is.god damn it! Open!” you shout in order to get the mare’s attention. She stops in mid knock, opens her eyes, and looks over to you.
>Just like Twilight and Fluttershy she’s gray. But unlike them she has no horn or wings…so she’s an earth p0ny.
>The next thing you notice is her overly poofy mane and tail…seriously it’s like she’s never brushed before in her life. You look over her as she looks over you.
>Then her eyes twist from surprise in to anger, “What are YOU supposed to be?” she asks anger ever so present in her question.
>You rub your chest in order to numb the pain, “I’m a…human,” you respond, “A human huh,” says the mare as she looks over you.
>You move out of the way and let her inside, now she’s circling you, taking all of you in with scrutiny. After a minute or two of her looking over you she’s had her fill.
>”That’s it? No super powers, no claws, fangs, no wings, or tail?” she asks, you shake your head. “Well that’s a little rude coming from someon- somep0ny who can’t even introduce themselves,” you say as you give her a look of disapproval.
>She scoffs before responding, “I’m Pinkie Pie, but don’t bother remembering it. I’m not gonna be friends with something as stupid looking as you. I just wanted to stop by to see the alien and let him know that I hate him and he’ll never get a proper P0nyville introduction because I hate his guts!”
>She almost screams out her response before looking over you with rage, well wasn’t this a great way to start your morning?
>You shake your head before sighing, “What?!” she says her muzzle suddenly a few inches from your face. “Pinkie, why do you hate me? Do you have a reason,” you wait for a response.
>”I hate you because you’re you!” is her response; yeah you figured she’d have no real reason. “Well thanks for that Pinkie. Fuck you and have a good day,” you say before shutting the door in her face.
>You hear her shout in anger before storming off. What’s with these mares and their anger? Sure P0nyville looks…well…strange but this anger.
>With nothing else to do in particular you approach Twilight’s bookshelf. You sift through her books and find nothing of interest…that is until you come across a book with a picture of the Equestrian Map on its cover.
>You pick up the thick tome and sift through its pages. You spend the next half hour learning about the mountains of the Gryphon Kingdom.
>The way the book describes the scenery makes you want to take a trip out there…one step at a time Anonymous. The sound of Twilight descending her ladder catches your attention.
>”Morning,” you say, she grunts in response. She’s probably still tired from yesterday; those spells took quite a toll on her. “Sleep well?” you ask, “More like not enough,” is her tired response.
>Twilight trots over to you when she realizes you’re looking through one of her books, “Oh…you picked a book on Equestrian Geography? Makes…sense after all you’re not from around here,” she says with a yawn.
>You nod, “Yup, gotta learn whatever I can as quickly as I can, if I’m going to make more friends I’ve got to at least have some basic knowledge of Equestria right? I mean hey everyone needs a good conversation starter,” you explain as you look Twilight over.
>”More friends?” asks Twilight as she looks over you her expression…sad? You smile before patting her head, “What did ya wanna keep me all to yourself?” you ask with a chuckle.
>She blushes in response, seems like that’s the only change of color she’s got. “N…no! It’s just…nop0ny is really friendly anymore,” she looks at the floor. You laugh.
>”Yeah I noticed, some mare named Pinkie Pie came by earlier,” this gets Twilight’s attention, “Really?! What happened?” she asks. You remove your hand before responding.
>”She was less than friendly, apparently Fluttershy told the p0nies about me, and if she hasn’t I’m sure Pinkie will…god she’s got a mouth on her,” you say before turning back to your book.
>”Oh…well…I guess the secrets out then…I’m sure you’re not the strangest thing out there now…so maybe the p0nies won’t be so…abrasive when they see you,” Twilight says as she mulls over the thoughts of you actually walking among the p0nyfolk.
>”At least you cleaned up,” Twilight says as she looks over you, “Let me guess you found out about the bed enchantment?” twilight asks, “Wait you knew?” you say as you narrow your eyes.
>Twilight laughs nervously, refusing to meet your gaze, “Y…yeah…I was kinda tired…must have slipped my mind,” she shrugs. You get to your feet.
>”Since you fixed my back I’ll forgive you, but please Twilight tell me if there’s something I need to know,” you say as you make your way past Twilight and to her door.
>When you put your hand to the handle of Twilight’s front door she calls out to you, “Wait where are you going Anonymous?” Twilight asks as she trots over to you.
>”I’m going to do what boss-man says, I’m gonna make friends with the p0nies. Anyp0ny you have in mind?” you ask as you turn back to Twilight.
>”This is a bit of a long shot…but you should try Pinkie,” Twilight suggests, “Really?” you ask, “Y…yeah! If you have any effect on her like you did me…maybe you can help her too…” Twilight says.
>”She used to be one of your friends didn’t she?” you ask as you turn to face Twilight, she nods. “Yes…and…I miss the old her you know? I’d…I’d give anything to have her back. She used to be the p0ny who’d brighten up your day. I hate what she’s become…and I can’t do anything to help,” Twilight says sadly.
>Well…damn, should you take Twilight’s advice? Perhaps she’s on to something, Twilight isn’t being as depressed as she was when you met her…maybe if you forced yourself to stay with Pinkie and befriend her maybe she’d be less…mean?
>Besides…this seems like it’d mean a lot to her if you could help one of her old friends. For Twilight you’ll make an effort to befriend Pinkie.
>Like Twilight said it’s a long shot, but what do you have to lose? “You know what, I’ll do it. Or I’ll at least try,” you say with a shrug, “Great! She’s probably at Sugarcube Corner,” Twilight says as she levitates the book you picked out over to her shelf.
>”You mean that bakery you were telling me about…one of P0nyville’s main attractions?” you ask, “Yup that’s the one, make a right outside and head straight down the path you can’t miss it,” says Twilight, waving you off with a hoof as she does so.
>And with that you open the door, step outside in to the chaos that is P0nyville, and make your way in the direction Twilight said to go.
>You’re sure to shut the door behind you; last thing you want is for some random p0ny to just waltz in to Twilight’s library.
>Without you there they’re liable to do anything, after all Twilight…isn’t going to defend herself. You shake your head of those thoughts, she’ll be fine.
>Besides if you’re going to befriend someone like Pinkie you’re going to have to deploy something a little special. You remember a certain saying your mother used to tell you. A perfect tactic for somep0ny like Pinkie Pie
>’If someone’s being mean to you, kill them with kindness,’ Kindness for someone like Meanie Pie? Why not? Again, what do you have to lose?

>Within no time at all you’re standing at the front door to Sugarcube Corner and like you’ve thought only a few p0nies stopped you in the street to inquire as to what you are.
>The majority of your time was spent dodging around rabbits with elongated legs and ballerina buffalo. Did those things follow you from Canterlot or something?
>Either way you’ve completed your journey, and along the way you’ve come up with no plans in order to get Pinkie to not hate you. It’s no big deal you’ve come up with plans on the fly before.
>Yeah and look where that got you? In some crummy apartment then kidnapped by a draco-thingy. “Thank you conscience,” you say out loud to no one in particular.
>You’ve got to learn to turn off that voice in the back of your head that tells you to do stupid shit. You bend down and open the door to Sugarcube Corner.
>Despite bending down you still manage to smack your head upon the door frame; seriously these p0nies have some small buildings. Then again things of your size don’t come around often.
>You take a quick look around the homely little establishment. The display case in front of the register catches your eye…more like gets your attention…your undivided attention.
>You slink over to the display case, you marvel at the various amounts of cakes, cupcakes, doughnuts, cream filled goodies, and the like. Oh my god they have cream filled doughnuts…
>Oh that’s right you’re dead broke; your wallet has nothing more than the money you’ve brought with you. You frown when you open your wallet to find that you’ve only got a couple bills.
>You doubt your paper money will work here, and here you thought having two benjamins meant something. Oh well, sorry Mr. Discovered Electricity Guy.
>You hear a p0ny clear their throat, tearing your attention away from the delicious goodies on display. “Oh ah…sorry,” you say as a light blue mare with a magenta….no wait two tone maroon…oh hell you suck with colors.
>”May I help you…whatever you are?” asks the mare behind the register. Remember why you came here Anonymous.
>”Human and yes, I’m here to see Pinkie Pie,” you say nonchalantly as you lean over the counter, “She wouldn’t happen to be here today would she?” you ask.
>”Hoo…man? Never heard of you. Yes Pinkie’s here, but I doubt you want to see her…she isn’t herself,” the mare says as she makes a motion towards a set of double doors.
>Judging by the tiles you see from under the doors you believe that to be the kitchen. So she works as a baker. Who knew someone with such a nasty attitude could make such tasty looking treats?
>”Yeah I noticed. She came by Twilight’s library earlier and she wasn’t exactly friendly,” you tell the mare about Pinkie meeting you for the first time.
>”Oh dear I’m sorry she was like that, she usually loves meeting new p0nies…er people,” the mare says with an awkward grin, and then the mare seems to examine you.
>”You know you don’t look all that strange, sure I’ve never seen anything like you but at least you aren’t like one of those…things,” the mare says as she points out the front door.
>Yeah the entire town is filled with weird…out of the ordinary things, aside from pastel colored talking p0nies of course. Yeah because those are normal too…
>”Well thanks for not calling me a freak or ugly…you’re a lot nicer than Pinkie…or Fluttershy,” you say before the sound of a pan hitting the floor turns your attention towards the kitchen.
>”You think that’s funny Gummy? I’ll show you funny!” comes a voice from within the kitchen; suddenly a small alligator comes flying through the double doors, landing on your face.
>Considering it’s a small alligator you don’t immediately freak out and start running around. Instead you pry the reptile off of your face. You hold him by the scruff of his neck and look it face to face.
>It gives you a smile…and you see it’s lack of teeth. Nope no threat here, after setting Gummy down on the counter you ask, “Mind if I go back there and talk to Pinkie Mrs…?”
>She finishes for you, “Cup Cake, and yes you may. It’s a long shot but maybe you can…say or do something that can help her. Poor dear is just so mean to everyp0ny now…”
>”I’ll see what I can do…oh where are my manners? I’m Anonymous by the way,” you say as you extend your hand. Like Twilight it takes Mrs. Cake a moment before she brings her hoof to your hand.
>”Oh, you must forgive me it’s been a while since I’ve used that greeting. There hasn’t been a gryphon or minotaur in town for quite some time,” Mrs. Cake says before breaking away from the hand/hoof shake.
>Well that explains why Twilight was the same way. With a quick thank you, you make your way past Mrs. Cake and in to the kitchen. You find Pinkie hard at work…cleaning up the mess Gummy made.
>There is flour and pans…everywhere. You’re reluctant to step any further lest you get your shoes covered in baked ingredients. Pinkie freezes while picking up a pan when she hears you step in.
>She turns to you with an evil glare, “What are YOU doing here?” she nearly screams out. You take a few steps back, “I thought I made it clear that I hate your guts!” Pinkie says as she approaches you.
>Come on Anon you’ve got to think of something, anything, use your head! “Uh…well…I thought you could use some help?” you ask before shooting Pinkie an unconvincing smile.
>”Oh really? Why don’t I believe you?” Pinkie asks as she eyes you, it’s like she’s just looking for a tell to see if you’re lying. Technically it isn’t a lie, it’s just something rushed…and convenient.
>What better way to be kind than to help a person…err p0ny clean up? “Well, it’s the truth Pinkie, this is a big mess for one p0ny to clean…let me give you a hand. Maybe you won’t hate me so much afterwards.”
>”I see what you’re trying to do alien, you’re trying to make me be your friend, well I’m not interested!” Pinkie shouts before shoving you out of the double doors.
>You manage to maintain your balance, that pink p0ny is strong…unbelievably strong. Mrs. Cake shrugs, “I guess she’s just…well…her,” Mrs. Cake says dejectedly.
>What she doesn’t seem to know, is that you don’t give up easily…well at least now you don’t. Second chances and all that.
>You make your way back in to the double doors and Pinkie’s still working on cleaning up. With her back turned she’s not paying any attention to you. “Stupid alien and trying to be nice, who does he think he is!”
>It’s a good thing this mare talks to herself, or else she’d of heard you come back in. Wait…she’s talking to herself. Whatever she’s probably bored or something…yeah.
>While she rants about how stupid you are to no one in particular you grab a nearby broom and dustpan; then you get to work sweeping up the flour.
>When she stops ranting she turns to the sound of the broom to see you at work. You’re too busy sweeping to notice her approach you. She knocks the broom out of your hands.
>”I told you I wasn’t interested! Get out!” she growls at the end of her order. You put a hand to your chin in mock thought, “Hmm, nah.” You say before picking up the broom and going back to sweeping.
>Pinkie grits her teeth in anger before shoving you; you lose your balance for a moment but quickly get it back.
>You walk back over to the flour and keep sweeping, “You’re not going to make me stop that easily. Just give up and let me help you,” you say without looking at Pinkie.
>Pinkie seems to have blown a fuse, “Oh really?! Fine! You want to clean up a mess, I’ll give you such a doozie of a mess you’ll give up right now!” and with that she goes in to a set of cupboards.
>Within a minute the entire kitchen, and you, are covered in chocolate syrup, sugar, baking powder, cookie dough, ice cream, and other assorted items.
>You cough out a small cloud of flour dust; you probably shouldn’t have opened your mouth in shock. “Well? Bet you regret saying that huh?” Pinkie gives you an evil grin of triumph.
>You shrug, “Whatever, it’s not like I had anything to do anyway,” and with that you walk past Pinkie and over to the cabinets under the sink.
>You glance over Pinkie to see her jaw nearly hitting the floor in shock; she really wasn’t expecting that for an answer. As you sift through the lower cabinets in order to find some cleaner you turn to Pinkie.
>”You gonna help me or what? You’ll just get in my way if you stand there. Besides, if Mrs. Cake comes in and sees this I’m sure you won’t have a job,” Pinkie tries to speak but no words come.
>You’ve got her good Anon, even though you’ve just agreed to do a job that would take three to four people to clean. Just keep that rage in check you can complain about it after you’re done.
>”Wha…uh…but…,” Pinkie lets out a growl of frustration before storming out of the kitchen, “You’re so stupid!” is her parting words. You listen as her hoof steps echo up a set of stairs.
>When you believe you’re finally alone your rage boils over, just a tad. You pick up a dirty pot and sling it in to the nearby fridge. God damn this mare, she just killed your entire day!
>It makes a satisfying clang upon impact, when you notice the dent you just hope no one notices. “Whoops,” you say, struggling to keep your voice level. Just calm down and get to work.
>You’ve found some cleaner, you found a mop and bucket, and more rags than you know what to do with. Might turn out to be a half assed job considering all the confectionary but you’ll manage.
>As you start cleaning you’re wondering how Mrs. Cake didn’t hear a single bit of what happened in the kitchen. In fact, just where did she go? Probably walked out or something.
>Within the first hour of cleaning you’re making hardly any time at all, you’re not the best when it comes to heavy cleaning.
>As you’re taking care of a section next to the fridge you hear the stomping of hooves as Pinkie comes back down the stairs. The double doors burst open to reveal none other than Pinkie, surprise.
>She looks at your work and scoffs, “You’re still here? I’d of been done in five minutes! You’re terrible at this Anon,” says Pinkie as she looks around the kitchen.
>”How do you know my name I never told you what it was.” you state as you continue to clean, not bothering to look over to the mare.  “I heard your stupid mouth when you were talking to Mrs. Cake duh!” she retorts.
>”Interesting, where is Mrs. Cake anyway?” you ask as you start scrubbing a section of the floor, thank whoever for there being a brush in the bucket portion of the mop and bucket.
>”She went to the market stand, won’t be back until tonight,” Pinkie explains you surprised that there wasn’t an insult or yelling behind that explanation. She’ll probably say something…
>”Why do you care anyway you stupid alien?” there we go, you sigh before shaking your head. “What?” Pinkie asks as she trots over to you.
>”Leave, you’re annoying. Let me clean up this mess YOU made so I can get back to doing nothing,” you start really scrubbing the hell out of a stain on the linoleum. Why won’t this chocolate stain come out?!
>”I’m not the annoying one, you are. You won’t leave!” Pinkie yells, you can feel you rage starting to boil again but you suppress it. You decide to just ignore Pinkie if she’s going to be like this.
>You go back to scrubbing the floor, when you say nothing you hear Pinkie start to growl yet again. With a huff she turns around and trots to the end of the door.
>“By the way you missed a spot,” you hear something large creak before slamming in to the ground with a resounding thud.
>You turn around to see a series of shelves in the floor….and there’s more ingredients all over the floor. She undid the work you’ve done and then some…
>You want to just break down, you want to curse you want to throw things, you want to just blow up the entire kitchen, but you maintain your composure. Oh well…more bullshit for you to do you guess.
>You swear…if Pinkie does one more thing like this…fuck making friends you’ll kill the mare, and with that you get right back to cleaning.
>Two hours pass and all you’ve managed to do is clean up the shelves, wipe them down, and clean up the items strewn around it. You’ve started around the fridge when Pinkie comes in again.
>You turn to Pinkie, “Pinkie I swear if…” you stop. Pinkie trots past you and grabs the mop. “You’re taking too bucking long; if Mrs. Cake comes in and sees this I’m dead,”
>Well…this is a surprise, sure she isn’t doing this to help YOU but at least…well…this is something? You shrug before getting back to cleaning. Pinkie actually joins you.
>Another two hours pass, the majority of the kitchen is done, just a bit more chocolate and sugar and you’ll be-
>Your thoughts are cut off when you feel a bunch of sugar smack in to your back, “Hurry up Anon you’re taking forever. I’m doing everything and you’re just sitting there doing nothing!” you turn and see she’s giving you an evil grin.
>She blows raspberries before getting back to work. Okay you’ve had enough; while Pinkie isn’t looking you pick up a pile of chocolate powder and toss it at her.
>It hits her. She stops in mid wipe of a mess, she looks up at you. You can see the rage behind her stare. You smirk, “Can’t take your own medicine?” you ask before chuckling.
>Before you can react a pile of sugar gets thrown at you, smacking you in the center of your chest. You gasp, “Ha! Got you!” says Pinkie, this mare wants to play? Okay let’s play.
>You reach out and grab handfuls of flour, you toss them at Pinkie, she’s unable to dodge. Her face becomes covered in the powder. She returns fire with chocolate powder.
>You being too big are unable to move around the dreaded chocolate powder. You grab more flour she grabs more sugar. Let the war begin…

>”Raaaaah!” you shout as you hurl two handfuls of flour towards Pinkie, it covers her in a wave. “I’ll get your for that!” she shouts as she starts pelting you with sugar.
>This confectionary fight has gone on for a good hour, both of you are covered in head to toe with flour, sugar, and chocolate powder. The kitchen is right back to its messy state.
>Neither of you seem to care. That last batch you’ve tossed at Pinkie has left you spent, you’re on your knees panting, trying to catch your breath. Pinkie is sitting on her haunches doing the same thing.
>She’s completely covered in flour giving her a stark white coat, you look virtually the same. Suddenly…”Ah…aaah….aaaaaaaaaahchoo…” Pinkie sneezes confetti and streamers that had to have been the most adorable sneeze you’ve ever heard/seen in your life.
>You don’t know why you did what you did next, perhaps it was her surprised expression, perhaps it was the way she scrunched her nose; but whatever it was, it was hilarious.
>You start laughing, low and quiet at first, but it quickly builds in to hysterical laughter. You hold your stomach before rolling on to your back. Your laughter echoes through the kitchen.
>Pinkie doesn’t seem amused, “What’s so funny?” she asks, malice poured from her voice. You weakly point at her, “You! You look so silly!” you say through fits of laughter.
>Pinkie narrows her eyes before looking at her reflection in the somehow clean fridge. She looks over herself.  You look up to see her eyeing her reflection. Her lips start to quiver…
>Now she’s smiling, and soon, like you, she bursts out in to fits of laughter. “Oh my goodness you’re right I look ridiculous!”
>The two of you roll on the floor laughing for a good ten minutes before either of you can manage to say anything. “Oh…oh my I really needed that,” you say holding on to your now aching stomach.
>”Ditto,” says Pinkie wiping a tear away from her eye. You look over Pinkie, the area she’s wiped reveals her coat to be…pink? And her eyes, they’re blue…holy shit it’s staying.
>This happened to Twilight as well; whenever she was well…in her zone she changed coat colors. But unlike Twilight Pinkie’s stayed…let’s see…
>”Hey Pinkie?” you ask as you cross your legs in front of you. “Yeeees Anon?” Pinkie asks before batting her eyelashes. “Do you still hate me?” you ask.
>Pinkie puts a hoof under her chin in mock thought before leaping in to your chest. You let out a whoosh of air before the weight puts you on to your back.
>Pinkie sits on your chest, a big smile plastered on her face. She wraps you up in a hug before responding.
>“You helped clean the kitchen when I was being mean AND you got in to a food fight with me, how can I hate you silly?” Pinkie asks before looking over you as if you were crazy.
>”Well…that’s nice to know Pinkie, but I have to ask you a question,” you say, “What question is that Anon?” asks Pinkie curious as to what you’re going to ask.
>You point past her, “What did I clean?” you ask, Pinkie looks around the kitchen before giggling nervously, “Oopsie?” is Pinkie’s only response.
>”When will Mrs. Cake be home?” you ask, Pinkie gasps in horror, “Ohmygoshshe’sgonnabehomeanyminute!” Pinkie exclaims, suddenly she’s nothing more than a Pink blur as she moves around the kitchen at high speeds.
>Within a minute the entire kitchen is spotless, just how in the world did she pull that one off is beyond your understanding. You decide not to question the antics of this new and improved Pinkie Pie.
>Almost as if on cue you hear the double doors to the kitchen open to reveal none other than Mrs. Cake. She looks over how dirty the two of you are, and then she looks around the now clean kitchen.
>”Let me guess, the two of you made this kitchen a complete wreck, then Pinkie here cleaned it up in like a minute didn’t she?” Mrs. Cake asks before turning to you.
>”Yup,” you and Pinkie say in unison, Pinkie giggles at the end. Mrs. Cake’s eyes widen and her jaw hangs loose, “What?” she turns from you to Pinkie, then back to you before approaching Pinkie.
>With a quick swipe of her hoof she reveals Pinkie’s pink coat from underneath the large amount of flour.  Mrs. Cake gasps, “Pinkie, you’re…you’re Pink again!” she exclaims.
>”Yes indeedy, I can’t believe I was gray in the first place can you believe it?!” Pinkie asks before shooting Mrs. Cake a smile. Mrs. Cake seems lost for words.
>She looks to you before asking, “Did…did you?” you nod, “Yes, it was a bit of trouble…but she’s back to her old self…well old for you new for me,” you explain.
>Mrs. Cake wraps you up in a hug even tighter than Pinkie’s oh lord you can’t breathe, “You did it I just knew you would I could tell!”
>You can’t respond you’re too busy gasping for air and your back is too busy breaking from the pressure. Thankfully Pinkie notices, she taps Mrs. Cake on the whither, “Um, Mrs. Cake, I don’t think Anony can breathe,” says Pinkie as she looks over you in concern.
>”Oh! Oh my sorry!” Mrs. Cake says before releasing you from her death grip, you take in a few good lungful’s of air before shouting, “AIR! PRECIOUS PRECIOUS AIIIIIR!”
>Pinkie loses it a second time today Mrs. Cake actually joins in on the laughter. Yup, this day is turning out to be a good one after all.
>After a few minutes Mrs. Cake looks over her now dirty apron, “Anonymous you and Pinkie could use a bath,” she says. “You don’t say,” you respond before standing.
>”You’re more than welcome to use our bath…but it might be a little small,” Mrs. Cake says with a nervous grin.
>You look over yourself, there is no way in hell Twilight is letting you back in to her housebrary covered in food stuffs….you just hope p0ny tubs aren’t too small.
>”Thanks…I think I’ll take you up on that offer,” you say before making your way to the double doors, Pinkie hops next to you. “Hey Mrs. Cake…where is your bathroom anyway?” you ask
>“I’ll show you,” Pinkie Pie says happily. When the two of you make your way back in to the ground floor of Sugarcube Corner Pinkie points to a set of stairs leading up.
>”Up here,” she says before bouncing to the stairs…this new Pinkie seems a bit…springier than the old one. You follow behind in silence; she leads you down a narrow hallway with various doors.
>At the end of the hall is the bathroom, she opens the door for you and you step inside. Yeah this is nowhere near the same size as your bathroom, but the homely appearance is quite refreshing. Pinkie flicks on the light and shuts the door behind her as she steps in to the bathroom with you.
>Yeah…unfortunately the tub is tiny compared to you, if you get in your legs will be protruding over the sides. Pinkie seems to notice this fact as well. “I’ve got an idea,” she says before approaching the tub.
>By means nothing living should be capable of doing she elongates the tub…it’s now nearly twice the size of your bathroom’s tub. “Pinkie…h…how did-” you’re cut off, “Magic.” Pinkie answers.
>Whatever you’ll take that as an answer, Pinkie turns the knobs and the water begins to fill the new, now huge tub. It takes a few minutes but the warm waters start to seem really inviting right about now.
>Before you can react Pinkie leaps in to the tub, sending water everywhere…that includes you. You’re now a drenched, dirty mess. Pinkie’s head emerges from the tub, somehow completely clean.
>For once in your life you see Pinkie’s mane…straight and tame. That’s not a bad look, why doesn’t she just keep it like that? Meh she’s probably got her reasons.
>”I guess you’re taking one first then, I’ll leave you to it,” You say as you make your way to the door. “See ya Anon,” is all Pinkie says as you make your way out.
>With nothing else to do you sit outside and wait, and wait, and wait some more. After a good thirty minutes Pinkie comes walking out of the bathroom wrapped in a few towels.
>”Your turn Anon,” she says before bouncing down the hall and out of site. You get to your feet and walk inside. Oh hey…that’s nice of her she drew your bath for you.
>You make a mental note to thank Pinkie before you leave; as you close the door and start stripping down in to your birthday suit you take a look out the nearby window.
>Damn its night already? You need to hurry up and get home to Twilight she’s probably worried about you. You didn’t expect to be gone for the entire day.
>You hastily step in to the hot water of the tub and curse; you didn’t give your body time to get used to it.
>When your body finally does the thought of hurrying back to Twilight is far from your thoughts as the hot water starts to relax you. You sigh happily before leaning back against the tub.
>You close your eyes and soak for a little while, allowing your mind to wander. You’ve been here for what…two days now, or is it three, and already you’ve made two new friends.
>If you include Discord and the others that’s five, damn aren’t you the social one? You have to admit that even though you’re still adjusting to your new surroundings you have to say this is a lot better than what you were doing prior to this.
>Going to work every day, then sleeping in some crummy apartment? That was hell in and of itself, Discord saved you from that…in the most unorthodox manner he could think of.
>But a few questions came to mind, why did he choose you, why does he want you to make friends. What does Discord have to gain from you making friends; he doesn’t come off as much of a nice guy there has to be a reason.
>With you contemplating your position you’re too out of focus. You don’t notice the door opening, nor do you notice a certain Pink mare slink in to the tub without a sound.
>You’re none the wiser as she swims under the water and right up to you. When she’s just a few inches away from your closed eyes she produces a rubber duck from under the water.
>She holds the duck right at your nose; suddenly a shrill squeak brings you back to reality. You open your eyes to see a yellow duck in your field of vision.
>”HI!” Pinkie half shouts before taking away the duck and giving you a smile. You have to admit your reaction wasn’t the best one. You let out a yelp before curling up in to a ball.
>Pinkie moves away from you laughing incessantly as she does so, “Oh man you shoulda seen the look on your face Anon!” she says, still laughing.
>She settles into the same posture as yours on the other side of the tub. “What are you doing in here Pinkie?!” you ask, hoping to cover yourself.
>”What? I figured you’d want some company,” she says, this mare is either clueless or she was sheltered as a foal or something. This is not normal for you, then again pastel colored world of p0nies.
>”Pinkie I just met you today, you shouldn’t be in the bath with me,” you say nervously, “Is it because you’re naked Anon? Oh come on don’t be a baby everyp0ny’s naked,” she exclaims.
>”No, it’s because I’m a damn GUY that’s naked,” you explain, “Soooo? You’re a friend right?” she asks, you nod. “Then what’s the problem?” she asks.
>You groan before face palming, you’re thankful she’s this innocent. Wait, why do you even care, you’re not even the same damn species stop being retarded. That realization finally gets you to relax.
>”There isn’t one,” you say with a sigh. “Good!” she responds, and with that you spend the next hour just talking to this mare.
>She tells you about her past, how she got her cutie mark, and pretty much how things were before Discord…she had to explain to you what a cutie mark was and what they represented.
>She even turned around and showed you her flank mark…er…cutie mark. Apparently those marks are a representation of their special talent, who knew?
>Wait why didn’t you notice them before? Oh right because you don’t stare at a p0nies ass on a daily basis.
>You in turn tell her about your life on earth, how boring it was, and how it was living in a bad part of the city.
>She asks about cutie marks and you in turn explain that any sort of special talent a human learns is the result of practice and interest. A human could be anything they wanted.
>She seemed to love that concept, the ability to do whatever you wanted instead of what you were ‘destined’ to do seemed to be a much better option than sticking to a single talent.
>Not saying she didn’t like bringing joy to others oh no, it’s just some p0nies apparently get the short end of the stick when it comes to special talents.
>When you realize you’ve wasted a great amount of time talking to your new friend you hurriedly finish your bath. Oh wait…your clothes are still dirty as all get out.
>You groan before getting out of the bath and wrapping yourself up in a towel, looks like everyone’s going to get a good look at your ass on the way back to Twilight’s.
>Oh well, p0nies are naked anyway what are they going to do have you arrested for public indecency? As you dry yourself off Pinkie drains the water from the tub.
>”Well, that was nice Anon,” she says before turning to you with a smile, yeah you’re liking this Pinkie a lot more than the old one. “I agree,” you say in return before offering her a smile of your own.
>”Can I borrow the towel Pinkie? I really don’t want to walk back to Twilight’s naked.” you say as you wrap the towel tightly around your waist. “Okie Dokie Lokie,” Pinkie responds.
>“Just remember to bring it back okay?” you nod, “Thanks Pinkie I’ll be sure to return it, and thanks for drawing the bath for me,” you say as you pick up your clothes.
>As you turn to leave the bathroom you feel Pinkie hug your waist from the left side, “Thanks for helping me today Anon…I’m…I’m really happy you came to Equestria,” you smile before petting her.
>”It’s great to be here…it’s just…a little…” she finishes for you, “Crazy, random, funny looking?” she asks, you nod.
>“Yeah Discord messed this place up pretty good, sure it was funny at first, but he took it too far.” Pinkie states, you have to agree. P0nyville was a bit of an eyesore today.
>”Don’t worry too much about it Pinkie, I can tell you one thing, this place is better than earth,” and with that she stops hugging you. The two of you walk from the bathroom to the front door together.
>”Bye Anon,” Pinkie says before waving you goodbye. With a quick wave in return you turn your back to Pinkie and open the front door and step in to the moonlight chaotic streets of P0nyville…