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Roget

Oh Mister Sandman

Roget
Jul 19th, 2013
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  1. [00:28:05] <Wogglebug> Arthur sits in his lab, working.
  2. [00:28:29] <Wogglebug> He's designing a specialized screw-ish device.
  3. [00:29:16] <Roget> Arthur, roll engineering
  4. [00:29:44] <Wogglebug> 6df+10 tagging Tinkerer, using both hands
  5. [00:29:45] <Glacon> Wogglebug: tagging Tinkerer, using both hands: 14 (6df+10=+, +, +, 0, 0, +)
  6. [00:30:07] <Roget> It turns out pretty good, Arthur. Nice work.
  7. [00:31:44] <Wogglebug> ~I'm the besssst, arouuuund, nothing's ever gonna keep me doooowwwn~
  8. [00:33:05] <Roget> Arthur, roll agility to not drop a screw and also maybe not die!!!!1!
  9. [00:33:23] <Wogglebug> 6df+4 Goo goo g'joob?
  10. [00:33:24] <Glacon> Wogglebug: Goo goo g'joob?: 2 (6df+4=-, +, -, 0, 0, -)
  11. [00:34:31] <Roget> Arthur, you accidentally the screw, and drop it on the floor.
  12. [00:34:35] <Roget> smooth move, ex-lax
  13. [00:34:47] <Wogglebug> Arthur picks up the screw.
  14. [00:35:15] <Wogglebug> It's long and doesn't have an end bit.
  15. [00:35:22] <Roget> Some of it has been loosened up
  16. [00:35:25] <Roget> YOU RUINED EVERYTHING
  17. [00:35:59] * Soulless has quit (Broken pipe)
  18. [00:36:02] <Wogglebug> How in god's name did a solid piece of metal loosen?
  19. [00:36:14] <Wogglebug> ~Dafuq jus happened to my screw.~
  20. [00:36:19] <Wogglebug> Arthur fixes it.
  21. [00:36:37] <Roget> ARTHUR, THE SCREW LOOSENS BECAUSE THE LORD WILLS IT
  22. [00:36:43] <Roget> THY WILL BE DONE, ARTHUR
  23. [00:36:46] <Wogglebug> ~If screws were pinballs, I'd be a pinball wizard.~
  24. [00:36:53] <Wogglebug> Arthur hasn't slept in 32 hours.
  25. [00:37:01] <Wogglebug> Because /science/
  26. [00:37:09] <Wogglebug> Also, his room's really far away.
  27. [00:37:15] <Wogglebug> Like, soooooooo far.
  28. [00:39:06] <Roget> Arthur, someone knocks at the door.
  29. [00:39:27] <Wogglebug> Arthur puts down the screw and goes to check the door.
  30. [00:39:56] <Roget> There's a dude he doesn't recognize wearing old timey pajamas, and holding a sack.
  31. [00:39:59] <Roget> "Yo."
  32. [00:40:13] <Wogglebug> "Sup."
  33. [00:40:30] <Roget> "You Artie Mortimer?"
  34. [00:40:55] <Wogglebug> "Who's asking?"
  35. [00:41:01] * Soulless (soulless@slendermansforest.dreams) has joined
  36. [00:41:01] * ChanServ gives channel operator status to Soulless
  37. [00:41:18] * Pres|Class is now known as Pres
  38. [00:41:20] <Roget> "Sandman."
  39. [00:41:56] <Wogglebug> "Ahh. Nah. I'm Arthur Morton. Different letters, those."
  40. [00:42:16] <Wogglebug> Arthur decides to give zero fucks.
  41. [00:42:34] * Kuroiten (Mibbit@synIRC-562D44B2.client.mchsi.com) has joined
  42. [00:42:37] <Roget> "Well, close enough. I'm here to chuck sand in your face and make you go to bed. Kay?"
  43. [00:43:44] <Wogglebug> "But bed's boring. And I kinda got shit to do. Unless you can make it one of those fancy VR-room dreams, it's sort of a no-go."
  44. [00:45:30] <Roget> "Nuh uh bub. If I don't toss this sand, I don't get paid, and if I don't get paid, I spread hellfire and nightmares."
  45. [00:45:42] <Roget> "So, uh,how'sabout you open the door so I can chuck sand in your face?"
  46. [00:46:05] <Wogglebug> "Why not just give me the sand, and say you chucked it?"
  47. [00:46:50] <Roget> "How 'bout no?"
  48. [00:47:31] <Wogglebug> "C'monnnnnnnnnn. Can't even negotiate a little?"
  49. [00:48:55] <Roget> "Dude, just let me do my job."
  50. [00:49:06] <Wogglebug> "Ugggggggg."
  51. [00:49:21] <Wogglebug> Arthur opens the door and looks out.
  52. [00:49:34] * Sequence has quit (Quit: Lord, give me patience, because if you give me strength, I'm gonna need bail money to go with it.)
  53. [00:50:02] <Roget> Puff. Sand in yo face.
  54. [00:50:09] <Roget> Arthur you're getting super sleepy.
  55. [00:50:23] <Roget> "Man. You were waaaaaaaaaaaaay too easy to fool, my friend."
  56. [00:50:23] <Wogglebug> Arthur does the thing with the frantic face pawing.
  57. [00:50:28] <Wogglebug> "SAND!"
  58. [00:50:33] <Wogglebug> "IN MY EYES!"
  59. [00:50:37] <Roget> "I mean sandman? Really?"
  60. [00:50:40] <Roget> The guy laughs.
  61. [00:50:40] <Wogglebug> "OHLY FUCCCKK!"
  62. [00:50:47] <Wogglebug> Arthur shoots gun at guy.
  63. [00:50:53] <Roget> Arthur today you have discovered sand /fucking hurts/
  64. [00:50:55] <Roget> Roll ranged
  65. [00:51:04] <Roget> -2 because sand in yo eyes
  66. [00:51:05] <Wogglebug> 6df+4 kneecapping is Arthur's style, yo
  67. [00:51:05] <Glacon> Wogglebug: kneecapping is Arthur's style, yo: 4 (6df+4=0, 0, -, +, +, -)
  68. [00:51:09] <Wogglebug> -2
  69. [00:51:11] * Kuroiten has quit (Quit: Blasted Internet...!)
  70. [00:51:17] <Wogglebug> (So 2)
  71. [00:51:21] <Roget> The shot goes wild and embedds itself in the wall.
  72. [00:51:28] <Roget> 6df+6 my gun now
  73. [00:51:28] <Glacon> Roget: my gun now: 8 (6df+6=+, 0, +, 0, 0, 0)
  74. [00:51:31] <Wogglebug> Arthur fucking rams the bastard.
  75. [00:51:37] <Roget> roll agility to resist losing gun
  76. [00:51:45] <Roget> also, you are getting veeeeeeeeeeeery sleepy, Arthur
  77. [00:51:51] <Wogglebug> 6df+4 Fuck yo couuuuuuch
  78. [00:51:52] <Glacon> Wogglebug: Fuck yo couuuuuuch: 4 (6df+4=-, +, 0, -, 0, +)
  79. [00:53:11] <Roget> Arthur, you are relieved of your weapon. Also you are about to fall asleep. Roll mdef to not enter dreamland.
  80. [00:53:27] <Wogglebug> 6df+6 Arthur: Dissonize
  81. [00:53:28] <Glacon> Wogglebug: Arthur: Dissonize: 5 (6df+6=+, 0, -, -, 0, 0)
  82. [00:53:46] <Roget> 6df+6 SLEEP PAPA SLEEP
  83. [00:53:47] <Glacon> Roget: SLEEP PAPA SLEEP: 8 (6df+6=-, -, +, +, +, +)
  84. [00:54:03] <Roget> Arthur, everything goes fuzzy, and you are asleep.
  85. [00:54:05] <Wogglebug> "Fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"
  86. [00:54:37] <Wogglebug> Arthur checks out dreamlands, hoping his lifeless corpse isn't being horribly mutilated.
  87. [00:54:49] <Roget> When he wakes up, Arthur will be in his bed, with a sharpie mustache drawn on his face.
  88. [00:54:57] <Roget> If he has a wallet, it will be missing
  89. [00:55:06] <Wogglebug> Arthur has no wallet.
  90. [00:55:13] <Wogglebug> On account of Arthur has no money.
  91. [00:55:33] <Roget> Well then he gets an angry note telling him to carry money and a wallet
  92. [00:55:37] <Roget> it has lots of angry faces
  93. [00:55:41] <Roget> >:(
  94. [00:56:00] <Wogglebug> Arthur tries his damnedest to wake up.
  95. [00:56:31] <Wogglebug> ~Waaaaaaake, damn youuuuuu~
  96. [00:56:32] <Roget> Arthur, roll mdef to exit the land of dreams
  97. [00:56:48] <Wogglebug> 6df+6 c'mon, lucky brain
  98. [00:56:49] <Glacon> Wogglebug: c'mon, lucky brain: 7 (6df+6=0, 0, +, 0, 0, 0)
  99. [00:57:06] <Roget> 6df+6 nope lol
  100. [00:57:06] <Glacon> Roget: nope lol: 7 (6df+6=-, 0, -, +, +, +)
  101. [00:57:26] <Roget> Arthur wakes up in bed. He feels well-rested, and has the aforementioned mustache and note
  102. [00:57:36] <Wogglebug> Arthur reflex punches.
  103. [00:57:41] * Kuroiten (Mibbit@synIRC-562D44B2.client.mchsi.com) has joined
  104. [00:57:53] <Roget> Arthur, roll pdef
  105. [00:57:59] <Wogglebug> 6df+6
  106. [00:58:00] <Glacon> Wogglebug: 8 (6df+6=+, 0, 0, 0, 0, +)
  107. [00:58:03] <Roget> 6df+6
  108. [00:58:03] <Glacon> Roget: 6 (6df+6=-, +, +, -, -, +)
  109. [00:58:11] <Roget> Arthur, you punch a hole in your wall
  110. [00:58:18] <Roget> why did you do that
  111. [00:58:21] <Wogglebug> "Fuck you, wall."
  112. [00:58:35] <Wogglebug> Arthur gets up and runs to the bathroom.
  113. [00:59:06] <Wogglebug> He takes a urine sample, because Arthur has watched crime dramas and knows what's up.
  114. [00:59:46] <Roget> Arthur, roll ranged to whizz in a cup properly
  115. [00:59:59] <Wogglebug> 6df+4 What is happening to my boddddddyyyyyyyy
  116. [01:00:00] <Glacon> Wogglebug: What is happening to my boddddddyyyyyyyy: 2 (6df+4=-, +, -, -, 0, 0)
  117. [01:00:39] <Roget> Oh god Arthur you missed it's everywhere
  118. [01:00:42] <Roget> eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
  119. [01:00:47] <Roget> get some paper towels buddy christ
  120. [01:00:51] <Wogglebug> Arthur cleans everything up, and tries again.
  121. [01:00:58] <Wogglebug> This time he takes zero chances.
  122. [01:01:25] <Roget> roll ranged
  123. [01:02:09] <Wogglebug> 6df+6 Eventually he'll run out of whizz, but until thennnn
  124. [01:02:10] <Glacon> Wogglebug: Eventually he'll run out of whizz, but until thennnn: 5 (6df+6=0, +, -, -, -, +)
  125. [01:02:14] <Wogglebug> -2
  126. [01:02:27] <Roget> nah the sand is gone
  127. [01:02:37] <Roget> Arthur successfully pisses in a cup.
  128. [01:02:49] <Roget> his crime senses tell him it looks yellow and smelly.
  129. [01:02:58] <Wogglebug> (It was a miss-roll, but okay)
  130. [01:03:36] <Wogglebug> Arthur seals up the cup, labels it, and stows it on a shelf. It says "DRUGS"
  131. [01:03:37] <Roget> (well I am kinda done with piss rolls so)
  132. [01:03:46] <Wogglebug> (Thanks for that)
  133. [01:03:58] * tretter (~tretter@synIRC-DDCF51D6.etczone.com) has left (Leaving)
  134. [01:04:20] <Roget> Is Arthur Howard Hughes now?
  135. [01:04:43] <Wogglebug> Maybe? I dunno. Is Howard Hughes the coolest dude around?
  136. [01:05:00] <Roget> He was a famous rich guy who peed in jars
  137. [01:05:12] <Wogglebug> Arthur's not rich enough.
  138. [01:05:22] * tretter (~tretter@synIRC-DDCF51D6.etczone.com) has joined
  139. [01:06:10] * Strife has quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
  140. [01:06:46] <Wogglebug> Arthur heads off to check the security cameras. Arthur's gonna find this bastard and shove a molten bar of copper down his gullet. Arthur doesn't appreciate being drugged.
  141. [01:08:57] <Wogglebug> Does he reach security?
  142. [01:09:03] <Roget> Yup
  143. [01:09:21] <Wogglebug> Arthur knocks.
  144. [01:09:37] <Roget> A guy with a motley cru t-shirt answers.
  145. [01:09:40] <Roget> "Sup brah."
  146. [01:10:35] <Wogglebug> "I need to see the security footage for the hallway outside of room [whatever Arthur's lab number is]."
  147. [01:12:15] <Roget> "Nah. You don't like, have clearance to ask for that."
  148. [01:13:13] <Wogglebug> "Says who?"
  149. [01:13:18] * Uncandescent (Mibbit@synIRC-CAD95E61.hsd1.mi.comcast.net) has joined
  150. [01:13:30] <Roget> "Says like... the Foundation. and stuff."
  151. [01:13:51] <Wogglebug> "What's your clearance?"
  152. [01:14:07] <Roget> "Higher than yours, bro."
  153. [01:14:19] <Wogglebug> "How would you even know?"
  154. [01:15:09] <Roget> "Because I'm like, good like that bro. I know everyone's name."
  155. [01:15:40] <Wogglebug> "What's mine."
  156. [01:15:48] <Roget> "Artie Mortimer."
  157. [01:15:50] <Roget> He grins.
  158. [01:16:14] <Wogglebug> "I will rip your throat out with a wrench."
  159. [01:16:39] <Roget> "How does that even happen?"
  160. [01:17:17] <Wogglebug> Arthur holds his wrench up next to him. He looks at his wrench. He looks at the guy. He looks back to his wrench.
  161. [01:18:13] <Roget> The guy is gone, Arthur. The door is shut and locked.
  162. [01:18:37] <Wogglebug> In the magical way or the very rapid way?
  163. [01:19:17] <Roget> In the very rapid way.
  164. [01:19:34] <Uncandescent> DT walks in places, whistling.
  165. [01:19:41] <Wogglebug> Arthur observes his surroundings, and does some checks for unreality.
  166. [01:20:01] <Wogglebug> 6df+8 Tick, tick, tick, tick
  167. [01:20:02] <Glacon> Wogglebug: Tick, tick, tick, tick: 11 (6df+8=+, 0, +, +, -, +)
  168. [01:20:27] <Roget> All of the doors are upside down.
  169. [01:20:40] <Wogglebug> "Ahh. How cheaty."
  170. [01:21:09] <Wogglebug> Arthur reaches for the physics of everything.
  171. [01:21:12] <Puppetmaster> June's door is unlatched, DT, if you pass it.
  172. [01:21:35] <Roget> "Hollllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" says a voice from nowhere, Arthur.
  173. [01:21:46] <Wogglebug> Holla, or Hola?
  174. [01:22:27] <Uncandescent> He does walk past it, but he doesn't really have a reason to check latches on random rooms.
  175. [01:22:35] <Roget> Holllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa for a dola
  176. [01:22:44] <Wogglebug> Is it Ralph?
  177. [01:23:35] <Roget> Noooooooo Ralph is being broody and sad and boring.
  178. [01:23:59] <Wogglebug> ~You ever watch a universe die?~
  179. [01:24:02] <Roget> ARTHUR QUICK ROLL MDEF TO NOT DIE
  180. [01:24:10] <Wogglebug> 6df+6
  181. [01:24:11] <Glacon> Wogglebug: 6 (6df+6=-, 0, +, 0, 0, 0)
  182. [01:24:42] <Roget> Arthur you wake up in your bed.
  183. [01:24:54] <Wogglebug> Arthur does a reality check.
  184. [01:25:13] <Wogglebug> 6df+8 Tick, tick, tick, tick
  185. [01:25:14] <Glacon> Wogglebug: Tick, tick, tick, tick: 7 (6df+8=0, -, +, -, 0, 0)
  186. [01:25:34] <Wogglebug> Arthur's seen Inception. He knows what's up.
  187. [01:26:11] <Roget> Arthur, things seem normal now.
  188. [01:26:21] <Wogglebug> Arthur continues checking.
  189. [01:26:25] <Wogglebug> 6df+8
  190. [01:26:26] <Glacon> Wogglebug: 8 (6df+8=-, 0, 0, 0, +, 0)
  191. [01:26:31] <Uncandescent> DT stops in front of the unlatched door, coincidentally noticing his shoe is untied. He crouches down and starts tying it.
  192. [01:26:21] <Wogglebug> Arthur continues checking.
  193. [01:26:25] <Wogglebug> 6df+8
  194. [01:26:26] <Glacon> Wogglebug: 8 (6df+8=-, 0, 0, 0, +, 0)
  195. [01:26:31] <Uncandescent> DT stops in front of the unlatched door, coincidentally noticing his shoe is untied. He crouches down and starts tying it.
  196. [01:26:46] <Roget> Arthur, all is well, all is good
  197. [01:27:05] <Wogglebug> Arthur keeps checking.
  198. [01:27:08] <Wogglebug> 6df+8
  199. [01:27:08] <Glacon> Wogglebug: 8 (6df+8=0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0)
  200. [01:27:27] <Roget> ARTHUR YOU ARE BACK IN THE REAL WORLD OH MY GOD
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