Facepunch - Story

Twenty years ago, in the land of the end, a thread had died and the future refused to change. But against all hope, just as Fate seemed to be set in stone, ironman keeps making excessively long posts that nobody understands. however, his posts actually held a hidden language describing a plan to eradicate the infrastructure of the Facepunch community itself.

So after many years of masturbating, the Facepunch administration team decided to do something about ironman. What they did was Outrageous, the following chain of the events even resulted in MaxOfS2D getting laid. Although it was with himself using a complex series of portals and tubes. The machine ended up malfunctioning and a portal came out of his ass. Yet he found out His ass also served as a portal into an alternate dimension. It was quite a queer place because of the amount of probes some aliens put in there because the war has changed But as PMC's took over the world, I, Aku, the shape shifting master of darkness, accidentally added a fourth ingredient: CHEMICAL X, and was thrown into an orbit 1000 times more powerful than Earth's own.

That was when it all began and I became the bone of my sword steel was my body, and fire was my blood I'v created Half-Life 3, the ender of worlds, the destroyer of tyranny, THE WEAPON AGAINST GABEN!

However, what I didn't account for was my PR team telling me this wouldn't look good on the front page of the new york times. I decided that it was Obama's fault. Then I heard that the fire nation attacked, which changed everything, but my dick was still hard and there was no chance in hell that I would allow the barbarians to reach the black gate. Meanwhile Gandalf