Stolen Innocence

Sixteen is too young to be pregnant and Elizabeth dealt with it in ways that were harmful to herself and her unborn child.  She hooked up with a drug addict nearly twice her age and got pregnant.  The words did not come easy for her overly religious parents and they immediately tossed her to the curb.  She left with nothing but a duffel bag and a few dollars.
Going back to the man that impregnated her, she found herself accompanying him to rave parties and squatting in abandoned buildings.  She thought that drinking excessively and snorting cocaine would eventually cause her to miscarriage and lose her child.  Months later, she was still pregnant and moving from place to place.
Her lover and pusher had died of an overdose, leaving her to fend for herself.  She would sit around in a smoky bar all day offering sexual favors for money.  Nobody wanted to have sex with the pregnant girl, not to mention she was jail bait.  She was at in impasse until a stranger arrived and sat next to her at the bar.
“Hey sugar, where are you from?” she asked, taking notice of his thick accent.
“Austria.” he answered.
“Long way from home.” she said, trying to make small talk with the man in the expensive suit. She tucked her pregnant stomach under the bar and continued to flirt.
“Yes, but I have a home here in Florida. It’s just a winter home to escape the chill of the Austrian winters.”
She looked at him attentively.  “That sounds nice. What brings you here?” she asked.
“I’m waiting for someone.”
She could only imagine that it was another female but when a male sat next to him she figured it was just another business meeting.  Then the two kissed. She looked the other way.
After some time the other man left, leaving the Austrian to some alone time with his drink.  She started the conversation, “So you’re gay. I guess it’s a moot point to offer you sex now.”
The man thought for a while.  He took notice of her pregnant stomach and smiled.  “I see you are pregnant. How far until you are due?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen a doctor but I can tell you it probably happened about six months ago.”
The man nodded.  “I see. You have no family or friends to stay with?”
She shook her head. “No, my boyfriend died of an overdose and I’m kind of alone right now. I was hoping I could just find a place to stay for a little while. Do any of your rich friends know of a place?”
The man laughed.  “What’s your name?” he asked.
“Elizabeth, or Liz, or Beth. I’ll be whatever you want me to be.”
“Well, Elizabeth, I’m Vaughn and I think I might be able to help you. You see, my family is a bit close minded when it comes to being gay. Though I never told them, they do own a large corporation in Austria and will not sign it over until I get married. That man that just left is my partner. Do you follow?”
Elizabeth nodded.  “I get it.”
“So you understand the predicament I am in. If you were to play my wife and we were to have that child of yours it would prove to them my intentions and I would have the family business.  I can offer you the winter home in Florida in which to live and you wouldn’t have to do anything but birth that child.  Of course, you would have to come with me to Austria first. The child will need to be born there. Once my parents sign over the company then we can move back here.  You won’t see much of me as I will be living with my partner in California where he runs his architectural firm.”
Elizabeth could not believe her ears. She would be living comfortably and didn’t even have to commit to anyone. She agreed, her heart pounding through her chest.  The teen left with the stranger and was never seen at the bar again.
The trip to Austria was both frightening and exciting. She was given a wedding band to start the charade.  Her appearance was cleaned up and she was provided clothing to wear.  Upon entering the rather large domain of Vaughn’s parents, she felt like a princess.  “This cannot be happening. I’ve died and gone to Heaven.” she said to herself.
She was presented to the parents.  A lovely woman with naturally white hair and a short portly man with jet black hair sat in the living room while Vaughn sat across from them with his beloved wife at his side.  The two held hands as a loving couple would.  Vaughn was a very good actor and his parents were falling for his performance.
They lived under his parents’ roof for the remainder of the pregnancy and then it happened.  Elizabeth was rushed to the hospital.  Vaughn stayed in the waiting room, pacing like a caged lion and putting on quite the appearance of the nervous father.
The baby was born, premature, white as a ghost and draped in the mother’s placenta, usually referred to as the caul.  For some religions, it was good luck for the baby if the mother kept it. In this case, she wanted nothing for the infant but to see it die.  That’s what the doctors thought when they could not get the infant to breathe.
“I’m sorry Mrs. Strauss but the baby is dead.”
“Was it a boy or a girl?” she asked.
“It’s a boy.” answered the doctor.
“Then dispose of it.”
The doctor could not believe what he was hearing.  This mother obviously had no intention of keeping that child, let alone giving it a proper burial.   “Very well. He will be in the morgue. Would you like to give him a name for the birth and death records?”
Elizabeth thought. “Sebastian. That was his real father’s name. Vaughn. It is his current father’s name.”
The doctor jotted it down and handed the paper to the nurse who took the child to the morgue.  Just before entering the morgue, the baby coughed.  The nurse smiled. She immediately took the infant in her arms and cradled it, wrapping it in a blanket and rushing back to the birth room.  “Doctor! The baby is breathing!” she exclaimed.
The paperwork was already being processed for death as the infant was handed to the mother.  Elizabeth took one look at the infant’s pasty flesh and scowled. “Take it away. It’s hideous.”
“Not all babies are born swans, Mrs. Strauss. I’m sure he will get some color once we put him near the window.”
“NO! You leave him alone.”
Vaughn was brought into the room hearing the news from the nurse that the baby was dead.  He was surprised to see Elizabeth in a foul mood and the nurse holding the infant.
“Is it a boy or girl?” he asked.
“It’s a boy! A filthy boy!” snapped Elizabeth.
“No, my dear, boys are wonderful.”  He pulled the blanket from the infant’s face and smiled.  “Boys pass on legacies. They keep the family name.”
Elizabeth scoffed.  “Get me out of here. I did what you wanted me to do. Did you get your family business yet?”
Vaughn asked for some privacy and dismissed the doctor and nurses.  The infant was taken to the incubating room for observation.
“Now you listen to me you filthy whore! Nobody is to know about my intentions and there you are spouting them off in front of doctors and nurses.  Keep your mouth shut and you will be living in luxury.  And you will take that child as your own whether you love it or not. What if my family decides to visit?”
“Then we say it died in a terrible accident. Make something up. You’ve been doing good so far.”
Vaughn reached over and slapped Elizabeth’s face.  “Patience! A little bit longer.  Until then I expect you to behave like a nice little subservient wife and do as I say. After I gain control of the family business then we will go our separate ways.”
“No we won’t. You still want me to live in that big house of yours and raise this child.” she said with a growl.
Vaughn grunted and stormed out of the room.  He took a deep breath and put on his happy face, gathering his parents to see the baby in the window of the baby room.
“So that little bundle of joy is yours?” asked his mother as she pointed to a girl with rosy red cheeks and a smile that could stop the world.
“No, mother, it’s that one.”  He pointed to the pasty fleshed boy in the corner hooked up to the breathing apparatus. The infant was shaking from its drug induced addiction.
“Oh, poor thing. Sometimes the lord is not kind when he gives us a child. That one will be a challenge for you, but now that you own the family business you can afford to get him the help he needs to survive.”
Vaughn smiled. He finally had what he wanted.  The nurse taped the baby’s name to the plastic bin in which he slept.  “Sebastian Vaughn. How regal.” said his mother.
“He will keep the family name strong.” said his father.
Elizabeth spent the night in the hospital and was released the next day. Though the hospital refused to release little Sebastian to her due to his condition, she insisted he come home. They could not deny her the right to her child and he was quickly released.

Months had passed and Elizabeth was taking well to her new living arrangements. She even hired a nanny to help with the child as she was too busy drinking and being young.  A French woman named Seraphim was hired based on her work with deaf children and that she needed a place to live to avoid being deported as her work visa had run out.  Elizabeth had that preverbal carrot to hang over her head if she got out of hand.
Seraphim went to see the infant for the first time.  “You said his name was Sebastian?”
“Yes.” answered Elizabeth.
“Then why is he wearing a dress?” she asked.
“Because I wanted a girl and her name is Annabelle. It’s French like your name. I want her to be trained in the delicate art of mannerism and grow up to be a refined woman as yourself.”
Seraphim was confused.  “But he’s a boy.” she insisted.
“And you will address him as a boy when my husband is present. Any other time it is Annabelle. Do you understand?”
Seraphim nodded, wondering what kind of crazy woman she was dealing with.
“Come, I’ll show you to your room.”
Seraphim’s room was small, big enough for a single bed and a dresser.  She had a large closet though and in time would never fill it up as she would barely leave the house.
Seraphim noticed that the blinds were always drawn and the house was dark. She dare not question it but found out when she opened the blinds.
“No! Sebastian is sensitive to the light. You must keep it dark in here.”
Seraphim wondered if it was because Elizabeth was always drunk and bright light often irritated alcoholics.  Then she found out that she kept a hold on the child by telling everyone that he had a skin condition called XP.  Seraphim knew otherwise but let Elizabeth have her say. It was often easier to go along with the woman that start a fight.

Vaughn came home from a long flight, tired and ready to relax. Unfortunately he came home to a crying infant and a nanny that couldn’t silence him.  “Shut that child up!” He shouted. “I’m trying to. I’ve changed him, fed him, and checked to see if he was teething.  I don’t know what he wants?”
“I’ll show you what he wants!” said Vaughn as he tore the baby from Seraphim’s arms. The burly man of six foot three shook the baby by his throat and then slapped it hard upon his right ear.  Blood trickled from Sebastian’s ear and his crying had turned hoarse.  Vaughn shook him again and the baby had passed out.
“There...silence.” He pushed the unconscious infant in Seraphim’s arms and stormed out of the room.  Seraphim started resuscitation and managed to get Sebastian breathing again but now had concern for his ear.  She waited until Elizabeth had fallen into a liquor induced sleep and that Vaughn was out of the house before sneaking out to the hospital.
“Where are you going?” said a voice from behind.
Seraphim turned around.  “His ear is still bleeding. I was going to the hospital.”
“And what do you think they will say when you bring him there? Do you think they will ask questions, perhaps to see if he was abused? Would you be willing to take the fall for that and be deported to France?  If I’m not mistaken, you came here to avoid being disowned from your parents because you like to dabble in witchcraft?  I saw that witch board in your things. I went through your room.  There are no secrets in this house. Now put that infant back in his crib and go to bed.” said Elizabeth.
Seraphim’s eyes filled with tears.  “Yes, madam.” She replied.
Laying Sebastian in his crib, she noticed him wheezing.  She took a cotton ball and cleaned out his ear and then filled it with some more cotton to stop it from bleeding.  She held him upright as he slept to keep him from wheezing. “It’s ok Sebastian.” She fell asleep with him on her chest as she slept in the chair in his room.

The night gave way to the morning and Seraphim was preparing a bottle for Sebastian. Vaughn had left early for California and the house seemed quiet.  She was noticing that Elizabeth placed something in the baby formula before mixing it.  She waited until Elizabeth left the kitchen and then went to inspect the container.  “Hmm. What is this?”  It was an unmarked bottle.  She took a sample upon her finger and placed it on her tongue.  It tasted like chemicals. She could see the label was torn off the bottle.  With a sneaky suspicion it was poison, she decided to destroy the rest of the formula once Elizabeth returned to the couch for her alcoholic slumber.
Seraphim sat in the nursery otherwise known as Sebastian’s room. She lifted her shirt and pulled down her bra.  Slipping the infant under her shirt she laid back in the chair and propped her feet up, letting him suck from her nipple.  He took to it like a moth to a flame and enjoyed every bit of it.  They were making a bond that he and his mother did not have. In a way, Seraphim was happy that Elizabeth didn’t breast feed him as she was so full of alcohol and cocaine that she probably would have killed him.
Every day she breast fed him, waiting until Elizabeth would leave and then dumping the formula down the toilet.  She would discard the empty bottles in the sink, making her believe she was feeding him the contaminated milk.  Elizabeth was concerned, asking Seraphim if he showed any signs of being sick. Seraphim would shrug and go about her business.  Elizabeth would put more ‘poison’ into the formula and Seraphim would continue to discard it.

Seraphim insisted that she start cooking and cleaning for now on.  That way she could make sure that Elizabeth didn’t try to poison Sebastian’s food.  The toddler was now old enough to drink and eat normal food.
Elizabeth still insisted upon Sebastian being dressed in girl’s clothing when Vaughn was away.  The toddler sat with long blonde ringlets and a frilly dress in his high chair.  Seraphim would cringe but offer a smile each time.  “Someday I’m going to take you away from all this.” she would whisper to him.  He wouldn’t understand and just smile to her.

It was the first time she saw Vaughn come home with his partner.  The two stopped by for a quick visit to pick up some of Vaughn’s clothing for a special trip.  Vaughn stopped by the toddler’s room and closed the door.
Sebastian’s room had been changed from a nursery to a little boy’s room.  There was another room that Elizabeth decorated in pink, never being questioned as to why when they didn’t have a girl.
Vaughn removed Sebastian’s sleep suit and diaper and proceeded to touch him, smiling at him and kissing his lips.  “That’s my little soldier, stand at attention.”  he would say and then lower himself to suck the toddler’s penis.  After he was satisfied, he would dress the boy back up in his sleep clothes and leave the room.

Sebastian’s life would be routine.  He would be awakened from his sleep and slipped into a dress complete with frilly socks and lacy underpants.  He was always dressed like a doll, his mother insisting that his hair be his own, no wigs.  She let it grow long even with protest from Vaughn.  She would style it with curly blonde ringlets and bows.  As he grew older she would add more accessories like bracelets and lacy gloves.
His so-called father would make his appearance at least once or twice a month and when he did he found the boy dressed in rugged clothing and playing with toy trucks.  Interrupting his playtime, he would take him to his room and tell him daddy needed to show him some love.  He removed the boy’s clothing and touched him on his genitals, kissing his lips.  This went on for years.  If he did not do as asked he would get a beating.
“Why are you touching me there?” asked Sebastian.
“It’s how daddy’s show their sons how they love them.” he answered.
Sebastian went on thinking that this was the proper form of love.  As he grew older he started to become confused.  When his ‘father’ was home he was dressed in one set of clothes and when he was gone it was another set of clothes.   He started to notice a pattern.
Seraphim was home-schooling Sebastian through his pre-school years.  She wanted to enroll him in elementary school to introduce him to socialization.  Elizabeth refused.  She kept the boy confined to the indoors of the house, keeping his lungs from the outside air.  When normal children would be outside playing, Sebastian was stuck reading or learning.  He would excel faster than any normal child would. Seraphim saw this and gave him an IQ test.  She was amazed at how intelligent he was.

Between his father sexually abusing him and his mother touching him daily, Sebastian was sure that something was not right.  He did not know how the other kids lived and was kept in the dark, literally.  Once Elizabeth would leave the house for her social events, Seraphim would take Sebastian outside, dressed in boy clothing.  It was the first time he saw the sun. He squinted so bad and Seraphim placed sunglasses upon his face.  “We’re going to have to get your some that fit your face.” she said, smiling at how big they looked on him.  The warmth of the sun felt so good and he could smell the outdoors.
“Not a word about this. It will be our secret.” said Seraphim.
Sebastian would nod and smile back to her.  “I promise.”

In his pre-teen years, Sebastian was forced to wear more feminine clothing.  Having a straight waste and no breasts was unacceptable.  His mother forced him into a corset which she tightened so tight he could hardly breathe.  He would be forced to sit up straight with it on and this would give way to his mother having him sit like a lady.  She would tell him to cross his ankles and place his hands in his lap daintily.  Seraphim would protest silently but continue his etiquette training.  She would buy makeup for him and have Seraphim teach him how to use it.  His long blonde locks would always be curled and pinned with bows.  Elizabeth would hand him a pill and tell him it was an aspirin for the pain from wearing the corset.  It was estrogen.
After his father shook him when he was just an infant, Sebastian lost one of his vocal chords and suffered severe damage to his pituitary gland. His voice was always soft and low and he could not raise it.  His mother took advantage of this and kept him from reaching puberty.  She would scold him for not speaking in a higher register.  There was still something that bothered her and it was his genitals.
Elizabeth didn’t know what to do with the pesky piece of flesh.  She grabbed some duct tape and pulled back Sebastian’s penis.  She would tape it tightly between his legs and conceal it with soft , lacy panties.  “There. All better.” she said with a smile.  Sebastian tried to force a smile.  “If your father wasn’t so hell bent on you being a boy I would have had that nuisance removed at your birth.” she said.  Seraphim would gasp.
Seraphim insisted that Sebastian go to middle school.  Elizabeth refused again. “I’m not sending him to public school.  I will send him to an all girl’s school before I send him to public school.”  She didn’t want Sebastian to know the difference between boys and girls but Seraphim had been answering a lot of questions for him.
“How come I have to be both?” he asked. Seraphim didn’t want to answer.  She would touch his cheek and smile.  “Someday I’m going to get you out of here.” she would say.
Sebastian would continue to be home-schooled through his middle school years.  He would also start to understand the difference between boys and girls.  When his father would touch him he would pull away and when he did he was beaten.  His father started to use rope to bind Sebastian to his headboard while he took advantage of him.
“This is how daddy’s love their sons.” he would say as he rammed his hardened shaft deep inside Sebastian’s anus.  There was always blood afterwards and Seraphim there to take care of him.  “This has got to stop.” she would say, her eyes full of tears.  Sebastian would be silent, his expression non existent.  He would sometimes cry himself to sleep.
Dinners would always be the same.  Sebastian would be dressed up as a girl and never allowed to speak unless spoken to.  He would eat very little, the tight fitting corset binding his stomach from growing any larger.
After dinner he would be changed from his dress to a night gown and made to sleep in the pink bedroom. If his father was home he would be wearing sleep pants, sleeping in his boy bedroom.  Sebastian would resist sometimes and would suffer several blows to the head or back.  His mother would spit on him or pull his hair.  Seraphim would be there to console him afterwards.  “Don’t worry Sebastian. Someday I will take you away from all this.”
“You’ve been saying that for years but it will never happen.” said Sebastian.  “Why won’t they just kill me and put me out of my misery?”
Words coming from a nine year old’s mouth brought Seraphim to tears.  She would wipe his face and embrace him.  “Oh Sebastian, don’t say things like that. You have to be strong.”

Sebastian had turned thirteen and his mother had a present for him.  He opened the pretty pink wrappings and pulled out a pair of breast inserts.  Inquisitively he looked at his mother.  “What are these for?”  he asked.
“Open your next present.” she ordered.
Sebastian opened the next pretty packaged gift and took out a bra.  He looked to Seraphim with eyes wide opened.  Seraphim closed her eyes, shaking her head.
Elizabeth smiled.  “No girl of mine is going to be a late bloomer. I started getting my boobies when I was thirteen. You will have yours too.”
She fitted the bra upon him and stuffed the inserts into the cups.  Adjusting them so they were straight, he tightened the straps and then pulled the dress back upon his shoulders.
“There. Perfect.”  she hugged her ‘Annabelle’ and smiled.
Seraphim glared at Elizabeth.  The woman was getting her way.  Every day that Vaughn was absent she was taking away a bit of Sebastian’s childhood.  It made her sick to her stomach, yet she could not say a word.  Elizabeth had knowledge of Seraphim’s past.  It was emotional blackmail.
When Elizabeth would go out with her friends, Sebastian would waste no time tearing off his girl clothes and putting on his boy clothes.  She would play hide and seek and video games with him.  The gate would be heard opening and Seraphim would quickly shuffle Sebastian to his girl room to put on his night gown.  Elizabeth would know nothing and Sebastian liked having secrets with Seraphim.
The nanny would also show him how to use the Ouija board.  She would read tarot cards to him and show him how to read runes.  He was intrigued by the mysticism.  She noticed he would stare to the side of her.
“What are you doing, Sebastian?” she asked.
The boy looked as if he was listening to something.  “I hear a woman’s voice. She says you need to come home.”
Seraphim covered her mouth in shock.  “Sebastian. You hear spirits. You are a medium. What is the woman’s name?”
Sebastian shook his head.  “I shouldn’t be doing this. Mother will think I am crazy.”
“No, tell me. It’s ok. You have a gift. Tell me.”
“Her name is Elise. She says she is your mother.”
Seraphim broke into tears. For him to be hearing her voice meant only one thing - she was dead.  Seraphim called her phone number in France and heard her father’s voice.
“Your mother has passed away. Please come home for the funeral. You can stay and visit afterwards.” he said.
Seraphim wanted to so badly but she didn’t know how she would be able to go.  She thought for a while, her outlook grim.  Sebastian smiled to her.  “Tell my mother that you are taking me to France to learn etiquette.”
“Good idea Sebastian. We will pack your suitcase with dresses and I will have another one for you with your boy clothes inside it.  You can change in the car on the way to the airport. You’re so smart.”  she said as she rustled up his hair.
Seraphim approached Elizabeth nervously.
“Madame. My mother has passed away and I was wondering if I could go to the funeral. If I take Sebastian with me to France I can put him through a fine French school of etiquette for girls.  I will only be gone for a week.”
Seraphim had thought about taking off with Sebastian many times but that would be kidnapping and she would be arrested.  She was being honest this time, except for the etiquette part.  Elizabeth looked at the nanny and waved her hand.  “Go. But you need to pay for his airfare.”
Seraphim smiled.  “Thank you very much.”  She was always happy when Elizabeth was so stoned she didn’t care.  Seraphim had been saving up so much money being she had nothing to spend it on.  She bought first class tickets for her and Sebastian.
Vaughn was not pleased that his little love puppet was gone.  He would beat Elizabeth senseless for letting him go.  He stayed home for the week, making sure that his son was returned.
The trip was exciting for Sebastian.  He was out of the house for the first time in his life. The flight was long but he didn’t care. He slept peacefully, never awakened for a quick raping or beating. Seraphim was like a mother to him and he often wished she was.
They returned, Sebastian dressed in girls clothing not knowing that Vaughn would be there.  Seraphim gasped.  Vaughn saw his son and his eyes narrowed.  “So you are dressing him up in girl’s clothes?” he asked.
“No” said Seraphim, shaking her head, “It’s Elizabeth. She insists he be dressed this way when you are not present. I didn’t know you would be here.”
Elizabeth scoffed.  “Like I would want my precious little boy to be dressed like that. You witch! You took him to France to be a lady, didn’t you?”
Seraphim shook her head.  “No. That’s not true.”
Sebastian finally spoke up, defending Seraphim.  “It wasn’t Seraphim. It was mother. She wanted a girl from the start.  She makes me dress this way every day.”
Vaughn glared at Seraphim.  “So  you have him lying for you?”
Seraphim stood her ground.  “You dare put a hand on me or this boy and I will report every bit of what you do to the child protective service.  I also know that you haven’t paid your taxes since you moved here ten years ago.  I know a lot of things that could put you in jail so I suggest if you are going to cause me harm then you make sure that it kills me.”
Sebastian had never seen Seraphim so angry.  He watched as his father grabbed her neck and strangled her.  Sebastian screamed out.  “NO Daddy!”  He tugged at his father’s arm.  “I will suck your dick. Just let her go.”
Vaughn stopped, letting go of Seraphim’s neck.  He tilted his head, looking at Sebastian. “Yes, this could work. Keep the dress on.”  He grabbed Sebastian’s hand and pulled him into his room.  The door was locked.  Seraphim could see the sadness in Sebastian’s eyes.  The boy would do anything to see she was safe.
“One more time, you rotten bitch! One more time and you will be kicked out.” warned Elizabeth.
“Oh go fuck yourself. Don’t you have a bottle to finish?” she asked.
Elizabeth scoffed and went to slap Seraphim. Seraphim caught her wrist and held it tightly.  “Don’t fuck with me bitch! I will slap a spell on you so devious that you will need the devil to save you.”
Elizabeth pulled away, grabbing her bottle of whiskey and returning to the couch.
Sebastian sat on his knees as his father sat on the edge of the bed.  He closed his eyes and moved in to place his lips upon his father’s hardened shaft.  Tears fell from the corners of his eyes as he stroked it up and down.  He could hear the moaning.  He found pleasure in this but Sebastian found pain.  A hand was placed behind his blonde ringlet covered head, pushing him down.  “Harder.” he was ordered.   Sebastian sucked harder.  Vaughn’s hand remained upon Sebastian’s head, pushing him down even more.  Sebastian could taste the pre cum and winced in disgust.  He tried hard not to start crying.  “Faster.” he was instructed.  Sebastian moved a bit faster, his jaws becoming tired.  And then the man came into Sebastian’s mouth.  Sebastian nearly threw up.  He pulled off and spit the cum into his hand.
“No. Drink it.” said Vaughn.
Sebastian cowered and licked his hand.
“DRINK IT!” demanded Vaughn.
Sebastian drank down the cum, gagging the whole time.  Vaughn watched with lust filled eyes.  He rustled Sebastian’s hair.
“That’s my boy.” he said, “Now get out of here.”
Sebastian rushed out of the room, running to the bathroom to throw up.  Seraphim came to check on him.
“Sebastian? Are you alright?”
He came out moments later, nodding.  “I’m ok.”
She hugged him and rested her cheek upon the top of his head.  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know he would be home.”
“It’s not your fault. I didn’t want him to kill you.” said Sebastian, his voice cracking with sadness.
“Thank you for doing that for me but please don’t feel that you need to protect me. Fate will choose my destiny.” said Seraphim.
The next morning started the same way as just about any morning.  Vaughn had left early to catch a flight to California.  Sebastian was put through the rigmarole of getting dressed.  The corset was placed upon him, tightened to capacity.  His penis pulled back and taped. Lacy panties pulled over it.  His face was lathered in foundation, powder over that. Fake eye lashes glued to his lids followed by eye shadow, eye liner, and mascara.  His lips were painted in shades of pink.  Long earrings hung from his ears and his hair was dried and curled, tiny bow barrettes placed in the corners to hold his hair back.  His dressed was slipped on and zipped from behind. Frilly socks placed on his feet and then black patent leather shoes strapped to his feet.  Seraphim had become exhausted after putting Sebastian together that she barely spent time on herself.  He was a full time job in itself.
Summer was over and school was about to begin.  Seraphim had finally convinced Elizabeth to let Sebastian go to public school.  He far exceeded the learning expectations and was allowed to attend high school at age thirteen being that he would be fourteen within a month of school starting.  No longer would he have to wear dresses during the day.  He would tie his long blonde hair back in a tail and don blue jeans and t-shirts like the other boys.  It was so exciting for him and he couldn’t wait to go.
His first day he observed the other students, seeing the various cliques and groups that would gather in the halls.  He didn’t know where he would fit in.  There was a sadness that followed him yet he was beaming with delight inside.  It wasn’t long before the bullies were taunting him for his light complexion and long blonde locks.  Even so, it was better than what he was getting at home.
Coming home he found a dress waiting for him and rolled his eyes.  Seraphim was not in her room and Sebastian looked all over the house for her.
“Mom, where’s Seraphim?” he asked.
“You are too old for a nanny. I let her go.” she snipped.
“Let her go?  Why?  I’m not too old for a nanny. She was like a mother to me.”
Sebastian gasped and covered his mouth, catching what he let get out.  Elizabeth opened her eyes wide, that terrifying gaze that would stop traffic in a heartbeat.
“Really?” she asked, raising a brow.  “Go to your room and strip off your clothes.”
Sebastian had just finished taking off the last of his garments when Elizabeth entered his room, closing the door and locking it.  She had with her a riding crop.
“Bend over.” she ordered.
The crop struck him from behind and he could feel the sting.  She struck him again and again, leaving his buttocks fiery red.  Grabbing his hair, she held him down as she pushed him on the bed, her knee pressing into the back of his leg and holding him down.  She repeatedly beat his back with the crop until the skin was broken.  Pulling his hair once more she pulled his face to hers and snarled at him.  “Who’s your mother now?” she asked, finishing him off with a backhand to the face.
Sebastian curled up by his bed on the floor, sobbing to the point of breathlessness.  Then there was the dress hanging on the closet door.  He stood up and pulled it off the hangar.  In a fit of rage he tore the dress into shreds then catching a glimpse of his image in the mirror he cursed his girlish looks.  He slipped on his jeans and walked briskly to the kitchen, grabbing a pair of scissors from the drawer.  He went into Seraphim’s room.  Rummaging through the bathroom he found a box of her black hair dye and mixed it according to the instructions.   Nostrils flaring he grabbed his waist length hair and cut it to his shoulders.  It was liberating.  He poured the dye upon his head and sat in Seraphim’s bathroom, waiting for all the blonde to go away.  After rinsing away the dye his natural color was no more.  He looked in the mirror at the more ‘darker’ version of himself.  He grabbed Seraphim’s makeup kit, likely left behind from lack of time to get out of the house.  He darkened his eyes with her eyeliner, giving him a goth-like appearance.  He used her white powder upon his face, dusting it sparingly to lighten his already pale complexion even more.
His mother was heard shouting his name down the hall. Sebastian took a deep breath and slowly exited Seraphim’s room.  As he moved towards her, everything seemed to be in slow motion.
“What?” he snapped inquisitively.
Elizabeth turned around to see his blonde hair black and cut short.
“What the fuck did you do?”
Sebastian grinned wickedly from the corner of his mouth.  “No more! I won’t wear your dresses. I am not a girl. I’m a boy!” he shouted in her face.
He had finally snapped, claiming his independence from the insanity forced upon him. Elizabeth did not know how to react.  He looked so demonic.
“That witch put the devil inside you!” she exclaimed.
“Maybe so.  You could have at least let me say goodbye to her, you bitch!”
Elizabeth backed away.  For so long she had ruled the roost and finally someone stood up to her, making her shrink like a violet.  Sebastian casually walked to his bedroom, his back still red with marks.  Seraphim wasn’t there to rub cream on his wounds or tell him she would take him away from all this.  She was gone and from the appearance of her room, she left in a hurry.
Sebastian rummaged through his closet and took out every piece of black attire he could. Wearing black everyday would be his way of mourning Seraphim’s absence from his life.  He could only hope she would seek him out and keep in touch.  Until then, he made his choice of which group he would fit in with and it would be the goths.
He would always consider Seraphim his mother and now that his hair matched hers it made him feel more like her son.  Secretly he would write his name in a journal using her last name.  It made him happy when he was sad.
“Someday I will have your last name.” he would say to himself.

The next morning he dressed in his all black attire and donned a thin line of black around his eyes.  Seraphim didn’t drive him.  He took the bus. It didn’t matter as long as he got there.  He liked sitting in the back, watching over the other kids as they shared conversations of their boyfriends and what they planned on doing after school.  He had never been socialized and had a hard time knowing how to relate to the other students so he kept quiet, playing the silent type.
“Hey there. You. In the black. Yes, you.  Could you grab that pen for me that rolled under your seat?” asked a young girl.
Sebastian nodded and reached down, handing her the retrieved pen.
“Thanks.” she said with a smile.  This girl showed no preconceived ideas or stereotyping. She simply asked him to perform a task and he was thanked.
“Hey vamp boy! Wipe that smile off your face. She’s off limits!” said a rather larger boy than himself.  Sebastian kept quiet, looking away.  “That’s right. Look away.” he taunted.  The girl slapped his arm.  “Stop it.” she said.
Sebastian stepped off the bus and into a world he would never understand.  Though he loved to learn and excelled quickly, there were those that would beat you senseless for such acts. They would deem you a nerd, or a geek, or even a loser.  Sebastian could not understand why those type of students were not hailed as genius, intelligent, or amazing.  There was a lot he had to learn socially and Seraphim would not be there to explain it.
He went about the day being called names and stared at for his drastic change.
“I liked you better as a blonde.” said a girl’s voice.  He turned and saw a pair of big brown eyes smiling at him.  She had the locker above him.
“Pity they give all the freshman the bottom row of lockers. I’ll try not to drop anything on your head.”
Sebastian tried not to look up her skirt but he was curious to see what a real girl’s private parts looked like.  He looked away, shyly, and continued to gather his books for the next class.
“You’re kinda cute for a freshman. My name is Alexis.”
“Sebastian.”
She closed her locker and snickered. “Nice to meet you neighbor.”
Sebastian stood in shock.  A girl talked to him - a real girl talked to him. All he could think of was, “Now what?”
After school his mother still insisted that he wear a dress and he would put it back in the closet and remain defiant to her.  She would throw punches at him and have violent fits of rage but Sebastian would push back.  The alcoholic woman would scoff and return to the couch where her drink would always be waiting for her.
On days where his father was home, Sebastian would be beaten, sexually abused, and left to cry himself to sleep.