Mysterious Chemistry

When you're from my town, you're always swapping spooky stories, from ghost tales to stories about creepy events. There's a few popular haunts people talk about, however, one place sticks out for a lot of creepy things that go down, Freddy Fazbear's, right? Everyone talks about all the spooky things that go on at night at Freddy Fazbear's, but it's not often you come across stories that happened during the day. Well, today's your lucky day, we're going back to the summer of '85.

All started with a friend of a friend of mine, named Joel, unhealthy obsession with machines and robots, probably cause his dad was a pulp author who wrote a bunch of cyberpunk sorta books, almost all of them trashy, and the artist who would do the cover art would send him pictures of chrome robot ladies that were as nude as those sorta machines get, visors and all that. Anyway, despite he's a real lady killer in the looks department, the doofus is oblivious to the point where a gal could take her top off and he wouldn't notice. Lots of posters of Rosie the robot from The Jetsons in his room, won't shut up about Transformers and Voltron and the GoBots and even something called Mighty Orbots?

So girls still try to flirt with the guy and he's not noticing the bait, he's busy futzing around with smaller engines when he's told to get a summer job by his pop if he wants to buy more engines and tools to mess with robotics, or to save up for a Commodore 64 to learn programming or something like that. He happens to land a job at Freddy Fazbear's pizzeria and as luck would have it, they needed someone to help bus tables and bring the crusts to the kitchen so they could repackage them as bread sticks. He does alright, makes a few bucks in tips on top of his normal pay.

Eventually he goes to the cinemas early in August, and gets a dumb idea from a movie called Weird Science. Now for those that don't know, the gist is two high school nerds create a perfect woman using a computer and holograms and stuff. Joel does some snooping around and finds the room where party tapes normally go and a computer console ready for input. He tries a few inputs, has no idea if they worked, then started putting in more complicated stuff. Romance stuff, for the Chica bird robot thing they got that he seemed to fancy. Still no indication the stuff worked, but the next day while he was bussing tables, he noticed the Chica robot was acting funny, bumping its foam rubber covered hips into him, making flirty gestures that I'm pretty sure he only picked up because it was coming from a robot.

For about a week it continued, playful bumping and flirting, the big yellow rubber bird flicking her bib and waggling her pink panty tush for him, he'd hold the machine's hand when the robot would try to help clear tables for him and it got a bit concerning for the other staff who worked there. They mostly stayed quiet though cause weird stuff like this is far above their paygrade. Then, one day, Joel's manager found something and took Joel into the back room to show him something he wasn't going to like or understand right away. Chica's endoskeleton, sitting in its charging spot, plugged in and turned off. As Joel was the one with the most contact with the Chica that was still walking around on the floor and entertaining guests, he was put in charge of finding out what the hell was going on with the animatronic.

Joel was pretty wary of what could possibly be going on with the Chica he thought he reprogrammed and all, and he took her hand after she finished up serving a table. He took her to the maintenance room and gave the bird a hug before realizing he was hearing heavy breathing from the bird's slightly ajar, orange beak. He asked, "W-what are you?!" to which he got a muffled response. He was stunned as Chica then started to rip that beak off, what looked like a cluster of human teeth and a tongue fell to the floor noisily from between the foam rubber, the hole where the beak connected had what looked like a skeletal grimace that was still mid-sentence, "-so you would give me a kiss!"

I'm sure if Joel were in a movie, he'd probably have some snappy one-liner but all he could muster was a "CRAPASS!" before decking the beakless robo bird who let out a shriek. Joel ran out of that store as fast as he could, the Chica running as fast as she could after him before collapsing out front of the restaurant.

Later that night, Joel was taken to the police station for questioning, regarding the source of the teeth and tongue, who they belonged to and what he could tell them about the Chica costume. He told them the whole reprogramming thing and the police had a good laugh at him for that, before letting him in on it was apparently a girl who fancied him from class. They did become much more solemn though mentioning Julie was hospitalized for malnutrition, apparently she'd developed bulemia to drop weight to fit in the costume, and she had a long road to recovery ahead, she was at proportions not terribly far off from the endoskeletons.

As for the tongue and teeth that fell out of that costume, an owner was never found, but the costume had problems keeping the beak on after that, and would freak the security guards right the hell out, especially the ones who had to work night shifts.