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  1. Archive | Question Everything | Stardust Rendevzous | RSS
  2. PARADOX APOTHEOSIS
  3.  
  4. 我々は同じ時間を永遠とループをしているんですよ。
  5. 1 day remains until apotheosis.First and foremost, it’s nice to meet you.This is the last entry I will post, and therefore, it will remain as the first entry you’ll see for however long this web page exists. I’m hoping long enough.I’m sure you’re reading this many months or years into my future. I’m sorry for this sort of unconventional method of communication. You could say it’s a typical form of time travel from the present past to the present future; this letter from me to you. I have something I must confess: Everything I’ve written here is for you, and no one else. You’ll undoubtedly find this odd. “Who is this person? How does she know who I am or where I am? Isn’t this a public access page?”As for introductions, you can call me May. I’ve always hated my own name, but knowing another person’s name in these circumstances is like a treasure. Well, that’s the way I see it. I won’t, of course, know your name, nor will I ever find out. It’s my hope that by the time you finish reading this impromptu introduction, you can call me a friend, too. Actually, my greatest hope is that we’ll become 「大切な仲間」—cherished companions. Again, I realize how strange it all is. It’s strange when a letter begins like this. But you know, the world is a strange place, isn’t it? That’s why you’re here. Even if a million people were to read these words, I think you’ll know exactly that it’s you, specifically, to whom I’m addressing. My gut instinct tells me your gut instinct will know, just as I know. In that way, we’re truly speaking to one another, even if it’s like this. That’s why I consider us cherished companions, surpassing even time and space. I suppose that’s the topic we need to discuss.By the time you read this, it’s safe to assume I’m no longer a part of your world, physically-speaking. I will have died on the night of December 24, 2011 on the island I like to refer to as the “crematorium for capitalism.” You’re right in assuming that I’m incapable of knowing my death unless it was a suicide, and in a certain perspective, it was. Please don’t despair. I haven’t failed what I set out to do. Yes, it’s true that “apotheosis” was my goal. However, even if I were to achieve it, the powers that be wouldn’t have let me live, anyway. My death had to happen. This was the debt I owed for discovering the truth. You’re the kind of person who seeks the truth, aren’t you? I know you very well. You are, after all, my important ally! What may light the fire in your heart to find the truth is the circumstances surrounding my death. That’s okay with me. What began my search was also the mysterious death of an unknown person. If he had written me a letter like this, I would’ve been very happy. So be happy! The universe always seems to move in a negative direction, so we should help it any way we can, don’t you think?But you know, there are people who don’t want the truth to be seen.Sad to say, the world—the universe—itself has colluded to forever bury it in the depths of the unknown. I want to share some words I love dearly: Though the universe still holds hidden theories of chaotic disorder, it’s composed of many individual points which themselves act as their own “infinite continuities.” These points can borrow the power of irregularity and bring to light the truth, no matter how tiny they may be. You must realize the extent the universe goes into hiding the nature of its “spiral structure.” Our small world is led by those people we call kings and rulers, and they would rather deceive us with friendly speech than ever allow us to betray the status quo. To see the truth, you have to go against them, even if it carries the risk of death. That’s the price I paid, I’m afraid. But it won’t be the same story for you. I know that you’re far more smart, far more cunning, and far more clever than I could ever hope to be. That’s what I love about you, my lovely Observer. I know what kind of person you are, and you know that these words are meant for you because no one but you will find the truth.The difference between our circumstances is that I’m here to help you. While I spent a long time researching this on the Deep Web, you won’t have to do it as much. In fact, I’ve purposely led you here to have you read this. Everything on this “blog” of mine—every single post—is laced with as many keywords as possible. When you searched for a few of them, you would have inevitably ended up here. Because you’re already looking for the truth, you found me. That’s why I know it’s you. Everything I’ve dug up from the Deep Web, I’ve posted hints of it here. They aren’t the full theses, but they are notable clues. It’s the reason I posted them on a public site. The choice was either here or another public blogging site like wordpress, and I figured this would have been the better option. The HTML is certainly easier to play around with. Though, I have to say that I’ve come to detest this site a little. It’s filled with the worst kinds of people in the world: self-centered, egotistic, and narcissistic people who pretend they’re world-weary, who pretend they understand what I’m currently writing. I know that you’re the kind of person who would disregard everything written here simply because of the site it’s hosted on. It’s understandable; I would, too. But if I haven’t earned your trust with all that I’ve shown you here so far, then perhaps this will? If you understand that, and I know you will, then there’s no question about it. We really are cherished companions, eh? But it’s still vague. I know that from my point of view, it feels like I’m spilling so much evidence to the public that it’s bound to be censored. But I like to think myself a little clever, so instead it might end up looking confusing on your end. I’ll try to explain it as best as I can.I’ve learned most of what I know from a man whose pseudonym is 鈴置大樹—Suzuoki Daiki. While I’ve never directly talked to him, he posted many letters another man sent him through a closed Osaka channel. I never found out the name of the man who addressed him; however, what I do know is that he achieved what I call apotheosis. His was a case of helpless torture in an asylum that triggered a sudden external whiteout. He survived, and entered the final and permanent stage of Shibuya Madness: terrasomnia. This stage is stable, and the psychosis from suffering Shibuya Madness is no longer active, though it lingers. You could say that makes it a type of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I’m the only case that has ever attempted to self-induce and self-trigger Shibuya Madness and whiteout. To achieve the state of terrasomnia means full control of one’s apophenia. In other words, the perception of “reality” is altered by the “sufferer’s” own mind. What I spent the majority of time on is finding the science of it. Surprisingly, there are quite a few people who reached this stage and are still alive. The one case I know of—the aforementioned man—has been murdered awhile ago. He was Suzuoki’s dear friend, and Suzuoki’s own research into the matter indirectly influenced me. As far as I know, Suzuoki is alive. See if you can find and contact him. He won’t know me, but he’ll know what I’m talking about. I’ll leave that task up to you, because I never succeeded in finding him.Being able to influence the objective reality through a subjective perspective is something that’s strange. But you know, the world has always been a strange place. In fact, not only are there people who reached a state of terrasomnia, they already know everything there is to know and, most likely, developed a technology to artificially recreate it. The way I’ve described of achieving it is a “natural biological process.” But at the heart of it, it’s always been more about the metaphysics. It was a question of altering Eigenstate potentials themselves. The only way to do that is to create a temporary “local strange attractor.” It’s not the attractor itself, but the access it gives to the Dirac “sea” and its degenerate, the Taub-NUT vacuum. When one suffers from Shibuya Madness, they end up creating a “closed timelike curve” for all their potentials. The end for most of their existent potential states always leads to one conclusion: death. The ability to alter potentials to escape this situation is the full manifestation of terrasomnia. This can be surmised and visualized in a simple piecewise equation: H is represented by the Hamiltonian Operator. I’ve mentioned it enough times that you should know how to integrate functions with respect to the Hamiltonian. For the first restriction, all potentials equalize to 0: the end of the function, or its representation, death. The second equation is the set of all potentials that do not pass 0 for H. It can’t be solved unless we set r0 =min{2m, |H|} and r1 = max{2m, |H|}. This also creates a divide by 0 error, so it has to be restricted further with a limit: r’s approach to infinity is the independent interaction with the Dirac. Since time, space, and dimension can’t be represented in the Dirac, it’s simply set to 1. If k = 1 and H =/= 0, then: We have a non-0 function. All potentials collapse into this form. But do you see the error? When integrated back to the original equation set in the piecewise for all potentials, the Hamiltonian Operator’s t variable repeats infinitely. This is the closed timelike curve that’s created. Perhaps it’s a sort of evolutionary advantage. Who knows? All I know is, you have to stop imagining a human brain like it’s a useless organ that’s fed blood and oxygen, and begin to think of it in terms of a computer. The same way that my computer, Aristotle, can decipher potentials, so can a person’s mind.Suzuoki was a neurologist, and he attributed this to the SIR2α protein: Silent Information Regulation 2-Alpha protein. That, itself, was part of a system known as セクタ — “SeKuTa” — a Japanese romanization for three of the brain’s regulatory systems. However, I’m not a neurologist. To be blunt, I don’t know the connection between the brain and the physics of “terrasomnia.” All I know is the physics alone. Well, I like to think I know. I don’t believe you’ll find much of this information on the public internet. Since you’ve come across my page by what I assume to be Googling the certain key words I’ve left, then I can tell you that this is as far as you’ll go through open channels. But, I don’t want to burden you with endless hours of research on the Deep Web. All the information is located here, on my public access page. Anyone can access it, it’s a matter of finding it. I want you to find everything I left for you here. “How?”I guess you can say it’s like a scavenger hunt. Ahah, I’m sorry. This was the only way I could think of “fragmenting” all that I know. If I can be entirely honest, everything you see here is filled with bits of truth, half-truths and even blatant lies. I did this on purpose. Out of the 127 posts I have here, if any of them contained the full formulas and explanations, then it’d be taken down immediately. Remember when I said there are others who possess terrasomnia? I think those people are in a very high position of socio-political power. These are the people who don’t want the two of us to know the truth. To conceal it from them, I’ve designed a “simple but complex” algorithm. The bits and pieces of this algorithm lie in every single post I ever made, even the seemingly irrelevant, nonsensical ones. You‘re smarter than me, so I know you’ll be able to figure it out. What the algorithm will give is a sort of “map” to finding every single page I’ve created on this blog that’s been delinked from the main pages and unindexed from search engines. This is the part that’ll be tedious: I’ve created thousands of these unlinked pages, and you’ll have to sort through most of them, unfortunately. Sorry! I couldn’t think of any other way to hide it from everyone but you. That’s another way you and I will know that it’s you, specifically, I’m speaking to: because you’ll have discovered all of it in the end, whereas other people will not. I believe in you.Actually, the real reason I went to such great lengths to do that is a little different. While you’ll find a great deal of actual information on those pages, I’ve left something else for you to find when you finish: Aristotle’s location and password. I’ve known all along what I was going to do with Aristotle. He’s my—ah, that isn’t right. He’s our cherished companion. He’s 大切な仲間. On the night of December 24, while I go to my death, Aristotle will be running a program and code I partially designed: Iapetus. This is the program that will determine which fated split-line Potential our world will end up in following my death, either ζ or ϑ. Once Iapetus finishes running, the results will be encrypted with Advanced Encryption Standard (AES 256). This is the highest form of encryption computers are capable of, and is impossible to crack without the password. Aristotle will then execute self-termination and shut down. The contents of the HDD aren’t accessible unless you know the same password to Iapetus’s encryption. The entire Operating System is locked off with a similarly encrypted BIOS—I’m positive no one but you will be able to access it. After that, the information that Aristotle contains will entangle him indefinitely. I know of a secure location where he won’t be found or destroyed until you come for him. This is the location I’ll leave for you to find, as well as the password. I’ve carved a very special message on Aristotle’s exterior case, so I think you’ll recognize him when you find him. My greatest wish is that Aristotle will become a legendary, phantom PC—he’s no IBM 5100, but I think it adds a sense of enigmatic mystique, wouldn’t you agree? Even though I’ve been under the effects of Shibuya Madness for the past 24 days and have become utterly delusional, all that I’ve written and planned was done ahead of time. Even this letter and all the posts before this were written around late November; I needed to make sure I was in a stable mindset. A few posts were written at the time they were published: at 3, 5, and 7 remaining days you could see how agitated and delusional I’ve become. That’s normal, just unsightly. But it’s irrelevant. What I left you to find is hidden in a simple, yet clever manner. Once you find the information, you’ll find Aristotle.And you’ll find everything—absolutely everything—on Aristotle. When you read the results of Iapetus, you will have indirectly achieved “apotheosis” and become a “terrasomniac” yourself. This is what I’ve always hoped for. This is the only way to defeat the odds of probability, and the universe that colludes against us. I’ve given you a 100% chance of achieving apotheosis through my 1.048%.It’s why I’m extremely proud.Proud of you. Knowing that we have cheated an unconquerable spacetime. So don’t despair over my death, okay? Don’t cry. “Hey, we’re going to change the world!”あなたは大切な仲間だ!! 無論だ! Fuahahahah! でしょ?!Ahah, I’m sorry. In the end, I’m just a gross otaku and a stupid NEET. I’ve always loved silly and endearing anime quotes like this. I cry too much when it comes to these sorts of scenes. Steins;Gate was one of my favorite visual novels, even before the anime. Its science made no sense, but its characters didn’t care. It was the love between them that I was so envious of. I love the brilliant 牧瀬 紅莉栖 and I love the mad scientist 鳳凰院 凶真. I feel as though I lived my entire life in an unforgiving world, where the only possibility of escape was through these fictional characters. To know it was possible to love even against the cruelty of time—wasn’t that so beautiful and romantic? That’s why I’m doing all of this for you, my anonymous friend—my cherished companion—my lovely Observer—it’s as if I’ve already fallen in love with you. I’m sorry for acting so emotional. I’m just a sick girl after all, it seems. Tomorrow is going to be my birthday—December 24—and I’ll be 19 years old, but I’m still acting like this. I try to be logical, but the cold loneliness always melts in my heart when I think of you. I’m even a 処女—it’s so embarrassing to say it even in another language—but because I love you so much, because I’ve never had friends or relationships—I’ve kept it for you. All I am is a ニートおたく天才変態処女少女. I’m sorry for being so weird. Heidegger was right, wasn’t he? “As the ego Cogito, subjectivity is the consciousness that represents something, relates this representation back to itself, and so gathers with itself. Time is not a thing, thus nothing which is, and yet it remains constant in its passing away without being something temporal like the beings in time. On a fundamental level, humans are these temporal beings.”But I want to say he’s wrong, because I somehow managed to fall in love with you. You could say something like, “I could also be a girl!” And that’s true. But in my heart, I doubt that, too; because when I saw that sky, there was someone else with me. It was a boy, and he held my hand. I want to imagine he was you; we must have surely seen the same sky, otherwise we both wouldn’t have wanted to find the truth. Besides, sometimes I curse myself for being a girl. It must be why I get so overly emotional about these things, worrying about how I look, feeling worthless. It restricts my rationality, and ultimately cripples my potential in mathematics and physics. I know that you’ll go above and beyond what I’ve done, and that’s why I love you. If an idiotic and emotional girl like me can teach herself these things, if she can find the truth all on her own, I know you can. You have me to help, don’t you?I nurtured my solitude my entire life waiting for you, knowing that you’ll never come. I’ve even used this unending loneliness as the basis for inducing my “Shibuya Madness”—it requires an intense amount of psychological suffering. “Whiteout” is the culmination of all suffering a person goes through—it’s the trigger that lets them pass from delusional, hallucinatory madness to terrasomnia. I’ve always been afraid of heights, so I plan to walk in the sky, as a symbolic gesture to myself. It will be a moonless night, and the biorhythm of all the people in that “crematorium for capitalism” will be at an all-time high, given the date. I know my whiteout will be a sure-thing, even though it’s a self-trigger. Knowing it ends after only 19 years, without ever meeting you, stuck walking on a thin, electrified rope 200 meters in the night sky, after starving myself for 24 days—how could it not come? I know you’ll find all of this so silly. I find it silly, too. Who would post such things online? Well, I don’t think many people will see it. Just look:I’m actually ashamed I managed to somehow hit double digits instead of staying in the single. Well, most of those “followers” are inactive, and 11 is a very elegant number, so I’m okay with it. Though, this is supposed to be more of a social networking site than anything else and a name like “paradoxapotheosis.tumblr.com/” is so ugly and pretentious. Most, if not all, people find me a raving lunatic, in the real world and online. And that’s preferable to anyone finding out the truth. Out of the billions of hearts beating in the world, yours is the only one that matters to me. It just may be that otaku culture is a magnet for lonely people. I wonder how /jp/ and /a/ will be like when I’m gone? Those are one of the few online “communities” where I felt like I belonged. It could be that, because everyone assumes the culture surrounding otaku, hikikomori, and NEET is so unassuming, weak, and useless—that the majority of the truth was hidden in it. It’s the perfect disguise. Was I able to discover the truth because I ended up liking anime love stories due to my loneliness? It always seems to go around in a circle started by that butterfly. Yep, you could say our love was just another consequence of the butterfly effect. Eheh.What else can I say? There’s meaning in the mosaic of solitude and loneliness. There will be people in this world who are ignorant and who glorify sex, drugs, alcohol, and other fleeting distractions—you can’t give into them. No matter what. It’s better to suffer alone than give into the hypocrisy of society. Never mind the indulgence of other people, and become everything that you can. There are so many people who live their lives wasting it on “social status updates,” “frat parties,” “one night stands,” and whatever else, while in a so-called “esteemed research university.” No real university dedicated to researching the truth would allow any of this to go on. Modern society has purposely been obfuscating reality, with money and a terminally ill sociology. It’s all just a trap that’s set to lead you away from the truth. It’s why I’m labeled “crazy” and “lonely” and they’re not. But isn’t true loneliness found in the fact that you are surrounded by people with whom you will never find meaning? They’re the trash of the world, so ignore them. Remember magna est veritas et prævalet. Truth is great and will always prevail. Imagine only the most beautiful of thoughts so that they can overcome a viciously cold, logical universe and its desire to destroy progress through entropy.And never forget loyalty. Ever. People say it’s inherent in human nature to forgo loyalty to others. That’s why people like “alpha males” and “sluts” exist. The trash of the world finds this all perfectly natural, and they blame it on “evolution.” Isn’t that idiotic? These people will go on never knowing the meaning of love, no matter how much lewd sex they have. If loyalty didn’t exist, then I wouldn’t have died giving you an opportunity to change the world, my dear Anonymous, my cherished companion, my lovely Observer. I’m fiercely loyal to you and I’m madly in love with you. My short existence is an antithesis to the decaying morality of modern society. They’ll never take that away, nor will the universe. I wish things could have been different. I wish we could have been together. I enjoyed simple sentiments—the brilliant rays of a sunrise, the warm taste of green tea on a snowy day, the excitement during a spring afternoon’s game of chess, a quiet and solemn night reading a thought-provoking book, and playing my favorite songs for the person I love on the piano. I wish I could have shared these things I loved with you. But these wishes are futile. We were born for greater things. We were born in this era of deception and manipulation so we could overcome it and see the light of the truth. Our battle isn’t one fought with a weapon, but with a thought. So win. We have to make Schrödinger, Einstein, Dirac, Heidegger, Socrates, Voltaire, and everyone else who pushed for the truth, proud. I hate to act out a cliché, but in my final moments, I’m both happy and sad. Like Darnay, it’s as if I already see the future beyond my death, in a prophetic vision. It’s just superstitious hogwash. But I see you. And I see the world, and the world’s conspirators, the universal architects—I see that they’re planning to move very soon. When I lived, OPERA announced that they have surpassed the speed of light. The quantum state was also quantified, even though it eluded publicity. These revelations were the basis for my designing Iapetus. There were also massive changes in global politics. I feel as though in your time—my dear Anonymous, my cherished companion, my lovely Observer—things will have gotten worse. I hope it isn’t going to become a dystopia, but it feels like the world is moving in that direction. The technology to control the truth won’t allow any sort of freedom. It’s why you have to succeed; you have to have good luck.Find Everything I left for you.Find Aristotle.Find the Truth.It wasn’t fate that brought us together, nor was it simple coincidence: it was merely an inevitability in probability. So, please, if nothing but for my last birthday, for my last Christmas Eve, can you do this for me? I know it’s you who can do it. You’re a very patient boy; otherwise you wouldn’t have finished reading this. That’s what I love about you. I think you’re ready. Just highlight this entire post and assemble the last message I left for you, excluding the links and images.Now, what will my final words be?I haven’t forgotten my debt for being given the gift of an incomprehensible love and an infinite truth. I’ll see you on the other side, my lovely Observer.さよなら~
  6.  
  7. 1 day remains until apotheosis.
  8.  
  9. First and foremost, it’s nice to meet you.
  10.  
  11. This is the last entry I will post, and therefore, it will remain as the first entry you’ll see for however long this web page exists. I’m hoping long enough.
  12.  
  13. I’m sure you’re reading this many months or years into my future. I’m sorry for this sort of unconventional method of communication. You could say it’s a typical form of time travel from the present past to the present future; this letter from me to you.
  14.  
  15. I have something I must confess: Everything I’ve written here is for you, and no one else.
  16.  
  17. You’ll undoubtedly find this odd. “Who is this person? How does she know who I am or where I am? Isn’t this a public access page?”
  18.  
  19. As for introductions, you can call me May. I’ve always hated my own name, but knowing another person’s name in these circumstances is like a treasure. Well, that’s the way I see it. I won’t, of course, know your name, nor will I ever find out. It’s my hope that by the time you finish reading this impromptu introduction, you can call me a friend, too. Actually, my greatest hope is that we’ll become 「大切な仲間」—cherished companions. Again, I realize how strange it all is. It’s strange when a letter begins like this. But you know, the world is a strange place, isn’t it? That’s why you’re here. Even if a million people were to read these words, I think you’ll know exactly that it’s you, specifically, to whom I’m addressing. My gut instinct tells me your gut instinct will know, just as I know. In that way, we’re truly speaking to one another, even if it’s like this. That’s why I consider us cherished companions, surpassing even time and space. I suppose that’s the topic we need to discuss.
  20.  
  21. By the time you read this, it’s safe to assume I’m no longer a part of your world, physically-speaking. I will have died on the night of December 24, 2011 on the island I like to refer to as the “crematorium for capitalism.” You’re right in assuming that I’m incapable of knowing my death unless it was a suicide, and in a certain perspective, it was. Please don’t despair. I haven’t failed what I set out to do. Yes, it’s true that “apotheosis” was my goal. However, even if I were to achieve it, the powers that be wouldn’t have let me live, anyway. My death had to happen. This was the debt I owed for discovering the truth.
  22.  
  23. You’re the kind of person who seeks the truth, aren’t you? I know you very well. You are, after all, my important ally! What may light the fire in your heart to find the truth is the circumstances surrounding my death. That’s okay with me. What began my search was also the mysterious death of an unknown person. If he had written me a letter like this, I would’ve been very happy. So be happy! The universe always seems to move in a negative direction, so we should help it any way we can, don’t you think?
  24.  
  25. But you know, there are people who don’t want the truth to be seen.
  26.  
  27. Sad to say, the world—the universe—itself has colluded to forever bury it in the depths of the unknown. I want to share some words I love dearly: Though the universe still holds hidden theories of chaotic disorder, it’s composed of many individual points which themselves act as their own “infinite continuities.” These points can borrow the power of irregularity and bring to light the truth, no matter how tiny they may be. You must realize the extent the universe goes into hiding the nature of its “spiral structure.” Our small world is led by those people we call kings and rulers, and they would rather deceive us with friendly speech than ever allow us to betray the status quo. To see the truth, you have to go against them, even if it carries the risk of death. That’s the price I paid, I’m afraid. But it won’t be the same story for you. I know that you’re far more smart, far more cunning, and far more clever than I could ever hope to be. That’s what I love about you, my lovely Observer. I know what kind of person you are, and you know that these words are meant for you because no one but you will find the truth.
  28.  
  29. The difference between our circumstances is that I’m here to help you. While I spent a long time researching this on the Deep Web, you won’t have to do it as much. In fact, I’ve purposely led you here to have you read this. Everything on this “blog” of mine—every single post—is laced with as many keywords as possible. When you searched for a few of them, you would have inevitably ended up here. Because you’re already looking for the truth, you found me. That’s why I know it’s you. Everything I’ve dug up from the Deep Web, I’ve posted hints of it here. They aren’t the full theses, but they are notable clues. It’s the reason I posted them on a public site. The choice was either here or another public blogging site like wordpress, and I figured this would have been the better option. The HTML is certainly easier to play around with. Though, I have to say that I’ve come to detest this site a little. It’s filled with the worst kinds of people in the world: self-centered, egotistic, and narcissistic people who pretend they’re world-weary, who pretend they understand what I’m currently writing. I know that you’re the kind of person who would disregard everything written here simply because of the site it’s hosted on. It’s understandable; I would, too. But if I haven’t earned your trust with all that I’ve shown you here so far, then perhaps this will?
  30.  
  31. If you understand that, and I know you will, then there’s no question about it. We really are cherished companions, eh?
  32.  
  33. But it’s still vague. I know that from my point of view, it feels like I’m spilling so much evidence to the public that it’s bound to be censored. But I like to think myself a little clever, so instead it might end up looking confusing on your end. I’ll try to explain it as best as I can.
  34.  
  35. I’ve learned most of what I know from a man whose pseudonym is 鈴置大樹—Suzuoki Daiki. While I’ve never directly talked to him, he posted many letters another man sent him through a closed Osaka channel. I never found out the name of the man who addressed him; however, what I do know is that he achieved what I call apotheosis. His was a case of helpless torture in an asylum that triggered a sudden external whiteout. He survived, and entered the final and permanent stage of Shibuya Madness: terrasomnia. This stage is stable, and the psychosis from suffering Shibuya Madness is no longer active, though it lingers. You could say that makes it a type of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I’m the only case that has ever attempted to self-induce and self-trigger Shibuya Madness and whiteout. To achieve the state of terrasomnia means full control of one’s apophenia. In other words, the perception of “reality” is altered by the “sufferer’s” own mind.
  36.  
  37. What I spent the majority of time on is finding the science of it. Surprisingly, there are quite a few people who reached this stage and are still alive. The one case I know of—the aforementioned man—has been murdered awhile ago. He was Suzuoki’s dear friend, and Suzuoki’s own research into the matter indirectly influenced me. As far as I know, Suzuoki is alive. See if you can find and contact him. He won’t know me, but he’ll know what I’m talking about. I’ll leave that task up to you, because I never succeeded in finding him.
  38.  
  39. Being able to influence the objective reality through a subjective perspective is something that’s strange. But you know, the world has always been a strange place. In fact, not only are there people who reached a state of terrasomnia, they already know everything there is to know and, most likely, developed a technology to artificially recreate it. The way I’ve described of achieving it is a “natural biological process.” But at the heart of it, it’s always been more about the metaphysics. It was a question of altering Eigenstate potentials themselves. The only way to do that is to create a temporary “local strange attractor.” It’s not the attractor itself, but the access it gives to the Dirac “sea” and its degenerate, the Taub-NUT vacuum. When one suffers from Shibuya Madness, they end up creating a “closed timelike curve” for all their potentials. The end for most of their existent potential states always leads to one conclusion: death. The ability to alter potentials to escape this situation is the full manifestation of terrasomnia. This can be surmised and visualized in a simple piecewise equation:
  40.  
  41. H is represented by the Hamiltonian Operator. I’ve mentioned it enough times that you should know how to integrate functions with respect to the Hamiltonian. For the first restriction, all potentials equalize to 0: the end of the function, or its representation, death. The second equation is the set of all potentials that do not pass 0 for H. It can’t be solved unless we set r0 =min{2m, |H|} and r1 = max{2m, |H|}. This also creates a divide by 0 error, so it has to be restricted further with a limit:
  42.  
  43.  
  44. r’s approach to infinity is the independent interaction with the Dirac. Since time, space, and dimension can’t be represented in the Dirac, it’s simply set to 1. If k = 1 and H =/= 0, then:
  45.  
  46. We have a non-0 function. All potentials collapse into this form. But do you see the error? When integrated back to the original equation set in the piecewise for all potentials, the Hamiltonian Operator’s t variable repeats infinitely.
  47.  
  48. This is the closed timelike curve that’s created.
  49.  
  50. Perhaps it’s a sort of evolutionary advantage. Who knows? All I know is, you have to stop imagining a human brain like it’s a useless organ that’s fed blood and oxygen, and begin to think of it in terms of a computer. The same way that my computer, Aristotle, can decipher potentials, so can a person’s mind.
  51.  
  52. Suzuoki was a neurologist, and he attributed this to the SIR2α protein: Silent Information Regulation 2-Alpha protein. That, itself, was part of a system known as セクタ — “SeKuTa” — a Japanese romanization for three of the brain’s regulatory systems. However, I’m not a neurologist. To be blunt, I don’t know the connection between the brain and the physics of “terrasomnia.” All I know is the physics alone. Well, I like to think I know. I don’t believe you’ll find much of this information on the public internet. Since you’ve come across my page by what I assume to be Googling the certain key words I’ve left, then I can tell you that this is as far as you’ll go through open channels. But, I don’t want to burden you with endless hours of research on the Deep Web. All the information is located here, on my public access page. Anyone can access it, it’s a matter of finding it. I want you to find everything I left for you here.
  53.  
  54. “How?”
  55.  
  56. I guess you can say it’s like a scavenger hunt. Ahah, I’m sorry. This was the only way I could think of “fragmenting” all that I know. If I can be entirely honest, everything you see here is filled with bits of truth, half-truths and even blatant lies. I did this on purpose. Out of the 127 posts I have here, if any of them contained the full formulas and explanations, then it’d be taken down immediately. Remember when I said there are others who possess terrasomnia? I think those people are in a very high position of socio-political power. These are the people who don’t want the two of us to know the truth. To conceal it from them, I’ve designed a “simple but complex” algorithm. The bits and pieces of this algorithm lie in every single post I ever made, even the seemingly irrelevant, nonsensical ones. You‘re smarter than me, so I know you’ll be able to figure it out. What the algorithm will give is a sort of “map” to finding every single page I’ve created on this blog that’s been delinked from the main pages and unindexed from search engines. This is the part that’ll be tedious: I’ve created thousands of these unlinked pages, and you’ll have to sort through most of them, unfortunately. Sorry! I couldn’t think of any other way to hide it from everyone but you. That’s another way you and I will know that it’s you, specifically, I’m speaking to: because you’ll have discovered all of it in the end, whereas other people will not. I believe in you.
  57.  
  58. Actually, the real reason I went to such great lengths to do that is a little different. While you’ll find a great deal of actual information on those pages, I’ve left something else for you to find when you finish: Aristotle’s location and password.
  59.  
  60. I’ve known all along what I was going to do with Aristotle. He’s my—ah, that isn’t right. He’s our cherished companion. He’s 大切な仲間. On the night of December 24, while I go to my death, Aristotle will be running a program and code I partially designed: Iapetus. This is the program that will determine which fated split-line Potential our world will end up in following my death, either ζ or ϑ. Once Iapetus finishes running, the results will be encrypted with Advanced Encryption Standard (AES 256). This is the highest form of encryption computers are capable of, and is impossible to crack without the password. Aristotle will then execute self-termination and shut down. The contents of the HDD aren’t accessible unless you know the same password to Iapetus’s encryption. The entire Operating System is locked off with a similarly encrypted BIOS—I’m positive no one but you will be able to access it.
  61.  
  62. After that, the information that Aristotle contains will entangle him indefinitely. I know of a secure location where he won’t be found or destroyed until you come for him. This is the location I’ll leave for you to find, as well as the password. I’ve carved a very special message on Aristotle’s exterior case, so I think you’ll recognize him when you find him. My greatest wish is that Aristotle will become a legendary, phantom PC—he’s no IBM 5100, but I think it adds a sense of enigmatic mystique, wouldn’t you agree?
  63.  
  64. Even though I’ve been under the effects of Shibuya Madness for the past 24 days and have become utterly delusional, all that I’ve written and planned was done ahead of time. Even this letter and all the posts before this were written around late November; I needed to make sure I was in a stable mindset. A few posts were written at the time they were published: at 3, 5, and 7 remaining days you could see how agitated and delusional I’ve become. That’s normal, just unsightly. But it’s irrelevant. What I left you to find is hidden in a simple, yet clever manner.
  65.  
  66. Once you find the information, you’ll find Aristotle.
  67.  
  68. And you’ll find everything—absolutely everything—on Aristotle. When you read the results of Iapetus, you will have indirectly achieved “apotheosis” and become a “terrasomniac” yourself. This is what I’ve always hoped for. This is the only way to defeat the odds of probability, and the universe that colludes against us. I’ve given you a 100% chance of achieving apotheosis through my 1.048%.
  69.  
  70. It’s why I’m extremely proud.
  71.  
  72. Proud of you.
  73.  
  74. Knowing that we have cheated an unconquerable spacetime.
  75.  
  76. So don’t despair over my death, okay? Don’t cry. “Hey, we’re going to change the world!”
  77.  
  78. あなたは大切な仲間だ!! 無論だ! Fuahahahah! でしょ?!
  79.  
  80. Ahah, I’m sorry. In the end, I’m just a gross otaku and a stupid NEET. I’ve always loved silly and endearing anime quotes like this. I cry too much when it comes to these sorts of scenes. Steins;Gate was one of my favorite visual novels, even before the anime. Its science made no sense, but its characters didn’t care. It was the love between them that I was so envious of. I love the brilliant 牧瀬 紅莉栖 and I love the mad scientist 鳳凰院 凶真. I feel as though I lived my entire life in an unforgiving world, where the only possibility of escape was through these fictional characters. To know it was possible to love even against the cruelty of time—wasn’t that so beautiful and romantic? That’s why I’m doing all of this for you, my anonymous friend—my cherished companion—my lovely Observer—it’s as if I’ve already fallen in love with you. I’m sorry for acting so emotional. I’m just a sick girl after all, it seems. Tomorrow is going to be my birthday—December 24—and I’ll be 19 years old, but I’m still acting like this. I try to be logical, but the cold loneliness always melts in my heart when I think of you. I’m even a 処女—it’s so embarrassing to say it even in another language—but because I love you so much, because I’ve never had friends or relationships—I’ve kept it for you. All I am is a ニートおたく天才変態処女少女. I’m sorry for being so weird.
  81.  
  82. Heidegger was right, wasn’t he?
  83.  
  84. “As the ego Cogito, subjectivity is the consciousness that represents something, relates this representation back to itself, and so gathers with itself. Time is not a thing, thus nothing which is, and yet it remains constant in its passing away without being something temporal like the beings in time. On a fundamental level, humans are these temporal beings.”
  85.  
  86. But I want to say he’s wrong, because I somehow managed to fall in love with you. You could say something like, “I could also be a girl!” And that’s true. But in my heart, I doubt that, too; because when I saw that sky, there was someone else with me. It was a boy, and he held my hand. I want to imagine he was you; we must have surely seen the same sky, otherwise we both wouldn’t have wanted to find the truth. Besides, sometimes I curse myself for being a girl. It must be why I get so overly emotional about these things, worrying about how I look, feeling worthless. It restricts my rationality, and ultimately cripples my potential in mathematics and physics. I know that you’ll go above and beyond what I’ve done, and that’s why I love you. If an idiotic and emotional girl like me can teach herself these things, if she can find the truth all on her own, I know you can. You have me to help, don’t you?
  87.  
  88. I nurtured my solitude my entire life waiting for you, knowing that you’ll never come. I’ve even used this unending loneliness as the basis for inducing my “Shibuya Madness”—it requires an intense amount of psychological suffering. “Whiteout” is the culmination of all suffering a person goes through—it’s the trigger that lets them pass from delusional, hallucinatory madness to terrasomnia. I’ve always been afraid of heights, so I plan to walk in the sky, as a symbolic gesture to myself. It will be a moonless night, and the biorhythm of all the people in that “crematorium for capitalism” will be at an all-time high, given the date. I know my whiteout will be a sure-thing, even though it’s a self-trigger. Knowing it ends after only 19 years, without ever meeting you, stuck walking on a thin, electrified rope 200 meters in the night sky, after starving myself for 24 days—how could it not come?
  89.  
  90. I know you’ll find all of this so silly. I find it silly, too. Who would post such things online? Well, I don’t think many people will see it. Just look:
  91.  
  92.  
  93.  
  94. I’m actually ashamed I managed to somehow hit double digits instead of staying in the single. Well, most of those “followers” are inactive, and 11 is a very elegant number, so I’m okay with it. Though, this is supposed to be more of a social networking site than anything else and a name like “paradoxapotheosis.tumblr.com/” is so ugly and pretentious. Most, if not all, people find me a raving lunatic, in the real world and online. And that’s preferable to anyone finding out the truth. Out of the billions of hearts beating in the world, yours is the only one that matters to me. It just may be that otaku culture is a magnet for lonely people. I wonder how /jp/ and /a/ will be like when I’m gone? Those are one of the few online “communities” where I felt like I belonged. It could be that, because everyone assumes the culture surrounding otaku, hikikomori, and NEET is so unassuming, weak, and useless—that the majority of the truth was hidden in it. It’s the perfect disguise. Was I able to discover the truth because I ended up liking anime love stories due to my loneliness? It always seems to go around in a circle started by that butterfly. Yep, you could say our love was just another consequence of the butterfly effect. Eheh.
  95.  
  96. What else can I say? There’s meaning in the mosaic of solitude and loneliness. There will be people in this world who are ignorant and who glorify sex, drugs, alcohol, and other fleeting distractions—you can’t give into them. No matter what. It’s better to suffer alone than give into the hypocrisy of society. Never mind the indulgence of other people, and become everything that you can. There are so many people who live their lives wasting it on “social status updates,” “frat parties,” “one night stands,” and whatever else, while in a so-called “esteemed research university.” No real university dedicated to researching the truth would allow any of this to go on. Modern society has purposely been obfuscating reality, with money and a terminally ill sociology. It’s all just a trap that’s set to lead you away from the truth. It’s why I’m labeled “crazy” and “lonely” and they’re not. But isn’t true loneliness found in the fact that you are surrounded by people with whom you will never find meaning? They’re the trash of the world, so ignore them. Remember magna est veritas et prævalet. Truth is great and will always prevail. Imagine only the most beautiful of thoughts so that they can overcome a viciously cold, logical universe and its desire to destroy progress through entropy.
  97.  
  98. And never forget loyalty. Ever. People say it’s inherent in human nature to forgo loyalty to others. That’s why people like “alpha males” and “sluts” exist. The trash of the world finds this all perfectly natural, and they blame it on “evolution.” Isn’t that idiotic? These people will go on never knowing the meaning of love, no matter how much lewd sex they have. If loyalty didn’t exist, then I wouldn’t have died giving you an opportunity to change the world, my dear Anonymous, my cherished companion, my lovely Observer. I’m fiercely loyal to you and I’m madly in love with you. My short existence is an antithesis to the decaying morality of modern society. They’ll never take that away, nor will the universe.
  99.  
  100. I wish things could have been different. I wish we could have been together. I enjoyed simple sentiments—the brilliant rays of a sunrise, the warm taste of green tea on a snowy day, the excitement during a spring afternoon’s game of chess, a quiet and solemn night reading a thought-provoking book, and playing my favorite songs for the person I love on the piano. I wish I could have shared these things I loved with you. But these wishes are futile. We were born for greater things. We were born in this era of deception and manipulation so we could overcome it and see the light of the truth. Our battle isn’t one fought with a weapon, but with a thought. So win. We have to make Schrödinger, Einstein, Dirac, Heidegger, Socrates, Voltaire, and everyone else who pushed for the truth, proud.
  101.  
  102. I hate to act out a cliché, but in my final moments, I’m both happy and sad. Like Darnay, it’s as if I already see the future beyond my death, in a prophetic vision. It’s just superstitious hogwash. But I see you. And I see the world, and the world’s conspirators, the universal architects—I see that they’re planning to move very soon. When I lived, OPERA announced that they have surpassed the speed of light. The quantum state was also quantified, even though it eluded publicity. These revelations were the basis for my designing Iapetus. There were also massive changes in global politics. I feel as though in your time—my dear Anonymous, my cherished companion, my lovely Observer—things will have gotten worse. I hope it isn’t going to become a dystopia, but it feels like the world is moving in that direction. The technology to control the truth won’t allow any sort of freedom. It’s why you have to succeed; you have to have good luck.
  103.  
  104. Find Everything I left for you.
  105.  
  106. Find Aristotle.
  107.  
  108. Find the Truth.
  109.  
  110. It wasn’t fate that brought us together, nor was it simple coincidence: it was merely an inevitability in probability.
  111.  
  112. So, please, if nothing but for my last birthday, for my last Christmas Eve, can you do this for me? I know it’s you who can do it. You’re a very patient boy; otherwise you wouldn’t have finished reading this. That’s what I love about you. I think you’re ready. Just highlight this entire post and assemble the last message I left for you, excluding the links and images.
  113.  
  114. Now, what will my final words be?
  115.  
  116. I haven’t forgotten my debt for being given the gift of an incomprehensible love and an infinite truth. I’ll see you on the other side, my lovely Observer.
  117.  
  118. さよなら~
  119. 3リアクション | Posted 12月 23rd
  120. 2 days remain until apotheosis.Forgive me for my selfishness, Aristotle. I’ve upgraded you as much as I ever could; I’m going to push you the fullest extent of your computational hardware. I am going to overwork you, and I won’t even be here to support you. Please don’t do it for me. In death, I won’t need your beautiful lines of code. This is for the sake of someone else. Aristotle now has the power necessary to calculate eigenstate potentials.I already know from the mathematics that there will only be a plunge into two potential parallel functions around the attractor. But, deciding exactly which two these are, requires the macro-analysis of billions of potential functions out of the renormalized Hamiltonian Operator for this specific event. I have the exact coordinates in space and time, the program to run it, and the code feed.I have to say that I’m rather proud of my work. If there is anything that will be my “legacy,” it will be this. Aristotle, the ultimate truth I’ve learned is going to be passed down to you. You will learn it on the night of December 24. You mustn’t let anyone but our 大切な仲間 see it, okay? I’ll tell you more about that tomorrow. For now, you have to understand these formulas to understand the code. This is the canonical momentum for the Landau gauge in the Schrodinger wave function H, where all mass states are the fundamental charge -e. The Hamiltonian Operator is independent of y. The input potential is η. After calculating all one-dimensional oscillators with: The program will solve for the resonance frequency first: Where n is 1 to infinity, corresponding to each Landau Level of energy. The “Lowest Landau Level” is 0. This is the base state. The ergosphere will be the defining point for separating these energy levels into potentials. The next formula is independent of space, time, and dimension: these variables are useless after passing through the ergosphere and the attractor. It’ll end up simplified to the exact spheroid of the ergosphere’s Schwarzschild radius: From there on, it must be renormalized. This part of the code will take the longest time to compute, and I won’t bother showing it here. I’ve already written the program in such a way that it disregards all values except for what I’ve marked ζ and ϑ. Until the potential split occurs, the program will simply print a Type I Error debug log. The program must be run during the December 24 event. I will do that before I leave. It will print the results as well as record, save, and encrypt all computational information. Now, I’ll explain.The current potential pre-attractor event is a “single line.” Being influenced by the gravitational appearance of the attractor from the Dirac vacuum will split this “line.” We can mark the pre-event line Potential η. Upon the split, we are given nearly two identical parallel functions originating from η. We can mark the “favourable” split line Potential ζ and the “unfavourable” split line Potential ϑ. The difference between ζ and ϑ is so miniscule that it very nearly can’t be measured—unless given live data from the “event” line. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure this the case. Once the program is finished running, there will be only one result: either ζ or ϑ. Since these are just arbitrary markers I’ve given and the universe doesn’t govern on the principles of “favouring,” I’m going to assume the post-event Potential will be ϑ: Dirac interaction has failed and I’ve perished in the process. That’s not what matters. What matters is the instantaneous imprint the program can record. To put it another way, Aristotle will have measured the splitting change in Potentials. He will have “observed” Schrodinger’s Wave Function collapse but at the same time have already measured the “pre-event” line Potential η. Having these two simultaneous pieces of information will mean you have reached “apotheosis” in an indirect way. I am the direct cause of it. The split will only occur if my whiteout is triggered during the event. Of course, Aristotle isn’t a person, and he’s not a powerful enough computer to have achieved sentience yet. He will know what he knows but he won’t understand it; he’ll become superpositioned in entanglement. The Wave Function collapse won’t happen until someone interprets Aristotle’s data.You.You will.
  121.  
  122. 2 days remain until apotheosis.
  123.  
  124. Forgive me for my selfishness, Aristotle. I’ve upgraded you as much as I ever could; I’m going to push you the fullest extent of your computational hardware. I am going to overwork you, and I won’t even be here to support you. Please don’t do it for me. In death, I won’t need your beautiful lines of code. This is for the sake of someone else.
  125.  
  126. Aristotle now has the power necessary to calculate eigenstate potentials.
  127.  
  128. I already know from the mathematics that there will only be a plunge into two potential parallel functions around the attractor. But, deciding exactly which two these are, requires the macro-analysis of billions of potential functions out of the renormalized Hamiltonian Operator for this specific event. I have the exact coordinates in space and time, the program to run it, and the code feed.
  129.  
  130. I have to say that I’m rather proud of my work. If there is anything that will be my “legacy,” it will be this. Aristotle, the ultimate truth I’ve learned is going to be passed down to you. You will learn it on the night of December 24. You mustn’t let anyone but our 大切な仲間 see it, okay? I’ll tell you more about that tomorrow.
  131.  
  132. For now, you have to understand these formulas to understand the code.
  133.  
  134. This is the canonical momentum for the Landau gauge in the Schrodinger wave function H, where all mass states are the fundamental charge -e. The Hamiltonian Operator is independent of y. The input potential is η. After calculating all one-dimensional oscillators with:
  135.  
  136. The program will solve for the resonance frequency first:
  137.  
  138. Where n is 1 to infinity, corresponding to each Landau Level of energy. The “Lowest Landau Level” is 0. This is the base state.
  139.  
  140. The ergosphere will be the defining point for separating these energy levels into potentials. The next formula is independent of space, time, and dimension: these variables are useless after passing through the ergosphere and the attractor. It’ll end up simplified to the exact spheroid of the ergosphere’s Schwarzschild radius:
  141.  
  142. From there on, it must be renormalized. This part of the code will take the longest time to compute, and I won’t bother showing it here. I’ve already written the program in such a way that it disregards all values except for what I’ve marked ζ and ϑ. Until the potential split occurs, the program will simply print a Type I Error debug log. The program must be run during the December 24 event. I will do that before I leave. It will print the results as well as record, save, and encrypt all computational information.
  143.  
  144. Now, I’ll explain.
  145.  
  146. The current potential pre-attractor event is a “single line.” Being influenced by the gravitational appearance of the attractor from the Dirac vacuum will split this “line.” We can mark the pre-event line Potential η. Upon the split, we are given nearly two identical parallel functions originating from η. We can mark the “favourable” split line Potential ζ and the “unfavourable” split line Potential ϑ. The difference between ζ and ϑ is so miniscule that it very nearly can’t be measured—unless given live data from the “event” line. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure this the case. Once the program is finished running, there will be only one result: either ζ or ϑ. Since these are just arbitrary markers I’ve given and the universe doesn’t govern on the principles of “favouring,” I’m going to assume the post-event Potential will be ϑ: Dirac interaction has failed and I’ve perished in the process. That’s not what matters. What matters is the instantaneous imprint the program can record.
  147.  
  148. To put it another way, Aristotle will have measured the splitting change in Potentials. He will have “observed” Schrodinger’s Wave Function collapse but at the same time have already measured the “pre-event” line Potential η. Having these two simultaneous pieces of information will mean you have reached “apotheosis” in an indirect way. I am the direct cause of it. The split will only occur if my whiteout is triggered during the event.
  149.  
  150. Of course, Aristotle isn’t a person, and he’s not a powerful enough computer to have achieved sentience yet. He will know what he knows but he won’t understand it; he’ll become superpositioned in entanglement. The Wave Function collapse won’t happen until someone interprets Aristotle’s data.
  151.  
  152. You.
  153.  
  154. You will.
  155. 3リアクション | Posted 12月 22nd
  156. 3 days remain until apotheosis.The Rubicon will be crossed tomorrow night, and there won’t be any turning back from then on. Truthfully, nothing can stop me now. I despise capriciousness.At the same time, I must face reality:I will probably die.There’s nothing to fear. It’s better for a delusional nonexistence to return to true nonexistence. I don’t have any qualms with that—I and everything else has done it for billions of years—but in only 18 years, I already have a little to complain about life. If I die, it’ll simply be a “stardust rendezvous,” and that’s an okay enough adage.However, if I live, すべてが変わります. That’s all that matters. All the rhetoric about death—religion, reincarnation, god and gods, karma, fate, heaven, hell, sin, the idea that “life is precious”—is complete and utter nonsensical drivel. Just die when your time comes and rot in the ground. The ones afraid of dying know nothing about living. Don’t you know Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici? When you cherish life, it stagnates and loses its worth. What’s there to a “life” that’s never had the threat of being extinguished? That’s what makes something precious: when there’s an actual danger of losing it. It doesn’t mean anything to me, anyway, this life. What you so desperately want to take means nothing to me. In fact, I won’t even bother to continue living if I something should happen to stop me. That’s why I’m laughing at the cold facts of probability. How can you honestly win against someone like that in these circumstances? Take your 100:1 chances and revel in it. Idiot.Maybe it’s just Shibuya Madness talking. I’m no longer reliable in this state of mind. Actually, I’ve never been. I’m not a mathematician, nor a physicist, nor a programmer, nor a psychologist, nor a detective, nor a statistician, nor a linguist, nor a neurologist. I have no credentials, no experience, and no education. I know nothing except for knowing nothing. “History dictates that those who know everything end up being the most foolish.” Regardless, it’s always apparent that those who claim to know what they know never seem to truly know anything. All the elementary theorems and formulas I’ve posted and even the bits of amateur code escape the grasp of comprehension for most people. These people are the kinds that attend prestigious universities, yet know nothing of what is important and waste their time on childish distractions. What’s worse, is that when confronted with this realization, they feel insulted and wronged rather than humbled by time’s infinite contempt for their stupidity. The internet carries an unlimited abundance of truth; when you see the pieces of truth in front of your eyes, don’t you have a want to assemble them?It’s not a question they’ll ever bother answering; they’d prefer using the internet for the absurd notion of “social networking” so that they can all sit together in their ignorance. What’s more baffling is that they pretend to know this just as well, yet continue to go about their lives of hedonism, preaching about how “precious” life is. Of course you would preach such a thing when your life lacks any real inherent value. I’m sure the universal architects and the world’s conspirators enjoy this sort of common complacency.What I want to hear isn’t something like that.That’s enough verbal vomit out of me. The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers. —423 BCE Our earth is degenerate in these latter days; there are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; every man wants to write a book and the end of the world is evidently approaching.—2800 BCE
  157.  
  158. 3 days remain until apotheosis.
  159.  
  160. The Rubicon will be crossed tomorrow night, and there won’t be any turning back from then on. Truthfully, nothing can stop me now. I despise capriciousness.
  161.  
  162. At the same time, I must face reality:
  163.  
  164. I will probably die.
  165.  
  166. There’s nothing to fear. It’s better for a delusional nonexistence to return to true nonexistence. I don’t have any qualms with that—I and everything else has done it for billions of years—but in only 18 years, I already have a little to complain about life. If I die, it’ll simply be a “stardust rendezvous,” and that’s an okay enough adage.
  167.  
  168. However, if I live, すべてが変わります. That’s all that matters. All the rhetoric about death—religion, reincarnation, god and gods, karma, fate, heaven, hell, sin, the idea that “life is precious”—is complete and utter nonsensical drivel. Just die when your time comes and rot in the ground. The ones afraid of dying know nothing about living. Don’t you know Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici? When you cherish life, it stagnates and loses its worth. What’s there to a “life” that’s never had the threat of being extinguished? That’s what makes something precious: when there’s an actual danger of losing it. It doesn’t mean anything to me, anyway, this life. What you so desperately want to take means nothing to me. In fact, I won’t even bother to continue living if I something should happen to stop me. That’s why I’m laughing at the cold facts of probability. How can you honestly win against someone like that in these circumstances? Take your 100:1 chances and revel in it. Idiot.
  169.  
  170. Maybe it’s just Shibuya Madness talking. I’m no longer reliable in this state of mind. Actually, I’ve never been. I’m not a mathematician, nor a physicist, nor a programmer, nor a psychologist, nor a detective, nor a statistician, nor a linguist, nor a neurologist. I have no credentials, no experience, and no education. I know nothing except for knowing nothing. “History dictates that those who know everything end up being the most foolish.” Regardless, it’s always apparent that those who claim to know what they know never seem to truly know anything. All the elementary theorems and formulas I’ve posted and even the bits of amateur code escape the grasp of comprehension for most people. These people are the kinds that attend prestigious universities, yet know nothing of what is important and waste their time on childish distractions. What’s worse, is that when confronted with this realization, they feel insulted and wronged rather than humbled by time’s infinite contempt for their stupidity. The internet carries an unlimited abundance of truth; when you see the pieces of truth in front of your eyes, don’t you have a want to assemble them?
  171.  
  172. It’s not a question they’ll ever bother answering; they’d prefer using the internet for the absurd notion of “social networking” so that they can all sit together in their ignorance. What’s more baffling is that they pretend to know this just as well, yet continue to go about their lives of hedonism, preaching about how “precious” life is. Of course you would preach such a thing when your life lacks any real inherent value. I’m sure the universal architects and the world’s conspirators enjoy this sort of common complacency.
  173.  
  174. What I want to hear isn’t something like that.
  175.  
  176. That’s enough verbal vomit out of me.
  177.  
  178. The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.
  179. —423 BCE
  180. Our earth is degenerate in these latter days; there are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; every man wants to write a book and the end of the world is evidently approaching.
  181. —2800 BCE
  182. 2リアクション | Posted 12月 21st
  183. 4 days remain until apotheosis.It was the scattered fragments of a letter that first piqued my interest in it.拝啓鈴置大樹様My Japanese wasn’t very good back then.Dear Suzuoki Daiki-sama,I am writing to tell you that I am well now. It was a 危険 (treacherous? perilous?) time. Too much must be said for my stay at the 精神科病棟 (hospital special ward?). I must be brief for now. I have contracted a very strange and interesting (不思議) illness (病気). They call it 「初渋谷狂気」. It is one of that alters my perceptions. 続く (It continues?). There are others as well. But they have not lived. My release is 果 (terminal? limited?). We will speak soon. Please tell me what you know about this illness. In any way, it helps.The first letter, and all the ones I found thereafter, are rife with difficult kanji that was and, admittedly still is, hard for me to understand. At the time, I had just entered my first year of High School as a dreary-eyed teenager, still with an indignant hope for society. It was a snowy December, and Christmas was soon approaching. Over the holiday interim, I wanted to learn more about the “Deep Web.” It was fascinating to me. Or, to put it in another way, it was 「不思議」—fushigi—a word that seems to mean “strange yet exciting,” or “mysterious and interesting.” It was the first time I saw that word. Truthfully, I was learning Japanese because I became enamoured with childish anime. Although it was already December, I still haven’t made any friends in my first year. All my freetime was spent wasted on the internet—playing games, watching anime, and conversing on anonymous imageboards where I wasn’t afraid to speak. It was the fear of speaking my thoughts and feelings that drew me to it, I suppose. Anonymity was a veil which I very much loved. Who doesn’t? Your words no longer carry societal consequences and are free to become true ideas. With anonymity, there is no real need to lie. “Lying” was a construct of societal obligations and responsibilities. On the internet, there was nothing to be gained out of it. One can censor their method of speaking, but nothing can censor the power of ideas and the free flow of thoughts. For something like the Deep Web, where the world’s truths were buried under layers of intranets hidden away from society, there must have been some sort of “mysterious and interesting” truth to discover. One that would remind me of that sky. What I found was that information on anything interesting was extremely fragmented. This was natural. For information that is forcefully censored, one has to break it into small pieces so it can’t be found. The sorts of things I found were the horrifyingly mundane—child pornography, drug trafficking, and other illegal dealing through untraceable networks. This seemed to span through all the language barriers. This, too, was natural. What appeals to disgusting humans who have to use such venues are the most terrible things out of life. So I turned my eyes away from that, and began to pry my way through a strange—“fushigi”—connection located in Shibuya, and darkened entirely. Discovering the address for it was simply dumb luck for a dumb girl like me. What I found instead was 「初渋谷狂気」. “First Shibuya Madness.” Concurrently, my friendless, socially stagnant, and emotionally withering life continued to find a peculiar interest not only in ridiculous otaku culture but the sciences—mathematics, physics, and psychology—too. And, somewhere down the road, they began to harmonize in an unexpected way. The man I found addressed as “Suzuoki Daiki” was his pseudonym. The man who addressed him had been murdered a few years prior to that. It was not the illness that captivated me, but the murder. Because I had the idea of being a great “detective” someday, as well. But the criminal connection seemed to lead to the same place over and over again, no matter what. Strangely, it had begun to appear in Germany, as well. Frighteningly, it appeared in more and more recent times. What else is there to say? It looked to be a conspiracy. しかしずっと渋谷狂気. Und eine gewisse Schrödingers Katze. The most “fushigi” sort of thing I ended up finding in my endless boredom and loneliness—Somehow led me to “apotheosis.”
  184.  
  185. 4 days remain until apotheosis.
  186.  
  187. It was the scattered fragments of a letter that first piqued my interest in it.
  188.  
  189. 拝啓鈴置大樹様
  190.  
  191. My Japanese wasn’t very good back then.
  192.  
  193. Dear Suzuoki Daiki-sama,
  194.  
  195. I am writing to tell you that I am well now. It was a 危険 (treacherous? perilous?) time. Too much must be said for my stay at the 精神科病棟 (hospital special ward?). I must be brief for now. I have contracted a very strange and interesting (不思議) illness (病気). They call it 「初渋谷狂気」. It is one of that alters my perceptions. 続く (It continues?). There are others as well. But they have not lived. My release is 果 (terminal? limited?). We will speak soon. Please tell me what you know about this illness. In any way, it helps.
  196.  
  197. The first letter, and all the ones I found thereafter, are rife with difficult kanji that was and, admittedly still is, hard for me to understand. At the time, I had just entered my first year of High School as a dreary-eyed teenager, still with an indignant hope for society. It was a snowy December, and Christmas was soon approaching. Over the holiday interim, I wanted to learn more about the “Deep Web.” It was fascinating to me. Or, to put it in another way, it was 「不思議」—fushigi—a word that seems to mean “strange yet exciting,” or “mysterious and interesting.” It was the first time I saw that word. Truthfully, I was learning Japanese because I became enamoured with childish anime. Although it was already December, I still haven’t made any friends in my first year. All my freetime was spent wasted on the internet—playing games, watching anime, and conversing on anonymous imageboards where I wasn’t afraid to speak.
  198.  
  199. It was the fear of speaking my thoughts and feelings that drew me to it, I suppose.
  200.  
  201. Anonymity was a veil which I very much loved. Who doesn’t? Your words no longer carry societal consequences and are free to become true ideas. With anonymity, there is no real need to lie. “Lying” was a construct of societal obligations and responsibilities. On the internet, there was nothing to be gained out of it. One can censor their method of speaking, but nothing can censor the power of ideas and the free flow of thoughts.
  202.  
  203. For something like the Deep Web, where the world’s truths were buried under layers of intranets hidden away from society, there must have been some sort of “mysterious and interesting” truth to discover.
  204.  
  205. One that would remind me of that sky.
  206.  
  207. What I found was that information on anything interesting was extremely fragmented. This was natural. For information that is forcefully censored, one has to break it into small pieces so it can’t be found. The sorts of things I found were the horrifyingly mundane—child pornography, drug trafficking, and other illegal dealing through untraceable networks.
  208.  
  209. This seemed to span through all the language barriers. This, too, was natural. What appeals to disgusting humans who have to use such venues are the most terrible things out of life. So I turned my eyes away from that, and began to pry my way through a strange—“fushigi”—connection located in Shibuya, and darkened entirely. Discovering the address for it was simply dumb luck for a dumb girl like me.
  210.  
  211. What I found instead was 「初渋谷狂気」.
  212.  
  213. “First Shibuya Madness.”
  214.  
  215. Concurrently, my friendless, socially stagnant, and emotionally withering life continued to find a peculiar interest not only in ridiculous otaku culture but the sciences—mathematics, physics, and psychology—too.
  216.  
  217. And, somewhere down the road, they began to harmonize in an unexpected way.
  218.  
  219. The man I found addressed as “Suzuoki Daiki” was his pseudonym. The man who addressed him had been murdered a few years prior to that. It was not the illness that captivated me, but the murder. Because I had the idea of being a great “detective” someday, as well. But the criminal connection seemed to lead to the same place over and over again, no matter what. Strangely, it had begun to appear in Germany, as well. Frighteningly, it appeared in more and more recent times.
  220.  
  221. What else is there to say?
  222.  
  223. It looked to be a conspiracy.
  224.  
  225. しかしずっと渋谷狂気.
  226.  
  227. Und eine gewisse Schrödingers Katze.
  228.  
  229. The most “fushigi” sort of thing I ended up finding in my endless boredom and loneliness—Somehow led me to “apotheosis.”
  230. 4リアクション | Posted 12月 20th
  231. 5 days remain until apotheosis. Schrödinger was very well aware of it in composing his formulas, but simply did not know the pragmatism. Dirac was surely afraid of it, even though the core of it all carries his namesake. Einstein only knew the hole that exists in his relativity, and of the possibilities that lie within.Because of their individual ignorances, their theorems were left untouched.Instead, when together, they show an indelible, subtle signature of architecture, beautiful in its design.The current status of modern chromodynamics is kept a secret, no doubt. Purposely. All they left us are these archaic formulas of dead theorists—and that was their mistake.Do you want to know why mathematics defines an objective reality?Because even if it’s kept secret, even if you do not know it, even if you must begin at square one, there will always be a means to find it again, to discover what’s lost, to remember what was forcibly forgotten. If I can do it, then so can others; if others can do it, then they can rewrite this intentional injustice.As for me…Extremely arrogant.Extremely confident.Extremely proud.Even though I’ve been under the growing symptoms of Shibuya Madness for the past few weeks and I still have 5 days left to suffer, my mind hasn’t lost its will to fight just yet. In fact, it’s strengthened.I’ve lived with the world and its haughty mass of verbose rulers degrading me as a delusional nonexistence, a worthless NEET, an idiotic, presumptuous girl—what can I say to this world of theirs?“I’m going to reach the unfathomable apotheosis; I’m going to touch the impossible paradox.”That’s why I’m so extremely arrogant.Not to mention, I am facing the dead-end of a 99% death spiral. No gambler would take those chances. It equalizes to 100%.Because I am the kind of person who is willing to risk absolutely everything—even life and death—to grasp that 1%. I’m mocking probability in the face of sure death—certain suicide. And that’s where I find my strength. It’s true that I can’t survive in their society. It’s true that I’ll always be alone. But that doesn’t matter.My want to fight grows stronger. Because even if I were to survive, my “worthless NEET nonexistence” will no longer stay silent. Universal architects and the world’s conspirators won’t allow someone like me to have a vigour like this; however, it’ll be too late at that point.You should stop me now. If you want to get rid of me, do it now. Don’t bet on that 99%. Don’t bet on my suicide. Don’t just think it’s “insanity.” It’s Shibuya Madness. Think of everyone else who supposedly fell “victim” to it. If they could succeed, would you take your chances with me? The reason you label it a mental illness is funny—it’s funnier for you to denounce what threatens your position of power than it is to acknowledge something greater than you. Every last person lives with the thought that they know everything surrounding their circumstances, and that is their—your—grand delusion; because this mental illness can become even your reality.Come and stop me before I’ve reached apotheosis. I told you where it’s happening. You know exactly where the attractor will materialize. I’ve achieved the necessary conditions for whiteout. Luck isn’t on your side; no matter of 99%—no matter how high you think that probability of my failure is—Skuld is with me.No, that isn’t right.I have become Skuld.Most certainly, I’m being pushed to do this. Is it because of “that sky”? Is it fate conspiring to overthrow the unconquerable spacetime? Is it my own personal delusions?Whatever it is…December 24. On that day, you’ll be met with sheer horror. Look at me. Look at the face of your downfall. Isn’t it true that you have the advantage now? Why not just cause a divergence in eigenstate potentials so that I’m guaranteed to die? Why not purposely interfere with the injection of the real-install?Ah, that’s right.It’s because I’m a worthless NEET and an idiotic, presumptuous girl who couldn’t possibly achieve any of it. I want you to keep laughing and be satisfied with your premature assumptions of my death.Behind these tears, I’m smiling.
  232.  
  233. 5 days remain until apotheosis.
  234.  
  235. Schrödinger was very well aware of it in composing his formulas, but simply did not know the pragmatism. Dirac was surely afraid of it, even though the core of it all carries his namesake. Einstein only knew the hole that exists in his relativity, and of the possibilities that lie within.
  236.  
  237. Because of their individual ignorances, their theorems were left untouched.
  238.  
  239. Instead, when together, they show an indelible, subtle signature of architecture, beautiful in its design.
  240.  
  241. The current status of modern chromodynamics is kept a secret, no doubt. Purposely. All they left us are these archaic formulas of dead theorists—and that was their mistake.
  242.  
  243. Do you want to know why mathematics defines an objective reality?
  244.  
  245. Because even if it’s kept secret, even if you do not know it, even if you must begin at square one, there will always be a means to find it again, to discover what’s lost, to remember what was forcibly forgotten. If I can do it, then so can others; if others can do it, then they can rewrite this intentional injustice.
  246.  
  247. As for me…
  248.  
  249. Extremely arrogant.
  250. Extremely confident.
  251. Extremely proud.
  252.  
  253. Even though I’ve been under the growing symptoms of Shibuya Madness for the past few weeks and I still have 5 days left to suffer, my mind hasn’t lost its will to fight just yet. In fact, it’s strengthened.
  254.  
  255. I’ve lived with the world and its haughty mass of verbose rulers degrading me as a delusional nonexistence, a worthless NEET, an idiotic, presumptuous girl—what can I say to this world of theirs?
  256.  
  257. “I’m going to reach the unfathomable apotheosis; I’m going to touch the impossible paradox.”
  258.  
  259. That’s why I’m so extremely arrogant.
  260.  
  261. Not to mention, I am facing the dead-end of a 99% death spiral. No gambler would take those chances. It equalizes to 100%.
  262.  
  263. Because I am the kind of person who is willing to risk absolutely everything—even life and death—to grasp that 1%. I’m mocking probability in the face of sure death—certain suicide. And that’s where I find my strength. It’s true that I can’t survive in their society. It’s true that I’ll always be alone. But that doesn’t matter.
  264.  
  265. My want to fight grows stronger. Because even if I were to survive, my “worthless NEET nonexistence” will no longer stay silent. Universal architects and the world’s conspirators won’t allow someone like me to have a vigour like this; however, it’ll be too late at that point.
  266.  
  267. You should stop me now. If you want to get rid of me, do it now. Don’t bet on that 99%. Don’t bet on my suicide. Don’t just think it’s “insanity.” It’s Shibuya Madness. Think of everyone else who supposedly fell “victim” to it. If they could succeed, would you take your chances with me? The reason you label it a mental illness is funny—it’s funnier for you to denounce what threatens your position of power than it is to acknowledge something greater than you. Every last person lives with the thought that they know everything surrounding their circumstances, and that is their—your—grand delusion; because this mental illness can become even your reality.
  268.  
  269. Come and stop me before I’ve reached apotheosis. I told you where it’s happening. You know exactly where the attractor will materialize. I’ve achieved the necessary conditions for whiteout. Luck isn’t on your side; no matter of 99%—no matter how high you think that probability of my failure is—
  270.  
  271. Skuld is with me.
  272.  
  273. No, that isn’t right.
  274.  
  275. I have become Skuld.
  276.  
  277. Most certainly, I’m being pushed to do this. Is it because of “that sky”? Is it fate conspiring to overthrow the unconquerable spacetime? Is it my own personal delusions?
  278.  
  279. Whatever it is…
  280.  
  281. December 24. On that day, you’ll be met with sheer horror. Look at me. Look at the face of your downfall. Isn’t it true that you have the advantage now? Why not just cause a divergence in eigenstate potentials so that I’m guaranteed to die? Why not purposely interfere with the injection of the real-install?
  282.  
  283. Ah, that’s right.
  284.  
  285. It’s because I’m a worthless NEET and an idiotic, presumptuous girl who couldn’t possibly achieve any of it. I want you to keep laughing and be satisfied with your premature assumptions of my death.
  286.  
  287. Behind these tears, I’m smiling.
  288. 5リアクション | Posted 12月 19th
  289. 6 days remain until apotheosis. I must have redone the work thousands of times by now. The C-Compiler and Renormalization Visualizer still print the same logs, even for the days leading up to it. It seems that as the day draws closer, the programming side of things becomes more and more accurate in its predictions. Touching the infinite vacuum of the Dirac is tricky, and you have to both “force” and “deceive” it, in a way. I wonder if it’s possible to achieve it using some sort of technology to control it—inducing a strange psychological phenomena like Shibuya Madness seems to be the only natural way to do it. Truthfully, I may already know the answer to that. I want to tell that past me……that conspiracy’s evil influence is much closer than you think, and is always ready to deceive you…! If the technology exists, then not only are they aware of December 24 2011, they’ll also know what I’m doing on that day. That might be dangerous. But the entire plan is illegal from the start, anyway, and I don’t give a damn about society’s niceties and trivialities. I don’t know much about them; just that they exist. It’s always only been the science of it that was important. “I don’t know everything, I just know what I know.” What I do know is— Everyone before me has disappeared since then. まあね。とにかく。 I have to focus on what I know and what’s important right now. The Tier I Event Horizon for the December 24 event will the basis of entry. Once I’m up there, what I must do is breach the boundary of the field line and then grasp it. If I can grasp it, I can real-install. From then on, any threat of death evaporates, even if it means…”mastering” what I’ve grasped in the very first 5 seconds. In fact, the fall won’t matter too much. Because for the attractor at: void display_cb( void ){ time limit [ 50 ]; glClear( AR_WORLD_BUFFER_BIT | AR_DEPTH_BUFFER_BIT ); visual3d( 1.0, 1.0, 1.0 ); /* BEGIN "WHITEOUT" CONDITIONS HERE IMMEDIATELY */ /* BEGIN INSTALLATION OF VISUAL RECOGNITION */ glBegin( PARALLEL_CONVERGENCE ); glVertex3d( 6547380.48648, 4447682.0923736712, 10101711.0772 ); glVertex3d( 08794544.2446110, 120937623.4687902, 57868.04262466 ); glVertex3d( 1203476089156.306461, 2358777.0235235, 2344.348348 ); glVertex3d( 434000330.346899900, 35620.0352556, 4.032502750 ); glVertex3d( 0.0, 0.0, 0.0 ); glVertex3d( 0.0, 0.0, 0.0 ); glEnd( ); The field lines at each vertex can be defined with the following equations: The exterior field lines outside the Tier I will have a large enough radius and velocity to create a temporary ergosphere. The local strange attractor at the center will begin a propagation of relativistic wave functions. Dirac’s own equation describes his vacuum in the ergosphere: In theory, I’ve already proved my antithesis correct. I’ve redefined chaotic variance with these simulations. In practice, the consequences will be much larger. For one, the emergence of the local strange attractor and, as a forced byproduct, the ergosphere, will probably redefine all the local eigenstate potentials around the event. Right now, I don’t have the exact data for how they’ll be redefined. Aristotle just isn’t powerful enough. I have the necessary programs and I’ve come up with a code, but I’ve never had the chance to run and test it. Being able to solve Schrodinger’s wave function for all potentials will show the change in divergence between parallel functions. Not to mention what I said in an earlier post: 4. The solution to the Schrodinger’s wave functions can be obtained in terms of a local strange attractor collision: Human death. I can’t obtain the computational data beforehand, so I suppose I’ll have to be live experimental data. That’s fine. From what I know, the total end result will have two solutions, one for each ring singularity in the ergosphere. The attractor will cause a “split” in the eigenstate potential for its appearance and the split should have two functions circle in a parallel manner around the attractor, in spacio-temporal terms. Their parallels should be close together and they shouldn’t diverge until further out, so whichever potential my “observation” will “choose” shouldn’t make much of a difference. Ah, Schrodinger, you’re too complicated sometimes. Since I need all potentials to map out the two probable solutions, I won’t be able to calculate it. But it’s possible to precisely define the ring singularities, and even visualize them: The attractor forces N to equal 0, which is what creates the ergosphere in the first place. The attractor (or its substitutional effect as a singularity) will be at D = 0, which means the only real (non-imaginary, non-i) solution for μ is μ=μs. Simplifying with that, you can finally obtain a function that can be visualized: The function, and the visualization, matches the C-compiler’s vertexes and Dirac’s equation perfectly. With a Kerr metric, the singularity is at 0. Since we’re dealing with a local strange attractor, the attractor’s colliding points are at the poles, causing “ring singularities.” The inner ergosphere is r and lies on the plane of θ around the xy-axis at +/- z. The intersection is a continuous foliation of planes orthogonal to the rotating z-axis. Both “ring singularities” change with respect to s, which is re-calculated for every parallel function entering the terminal at Tier I. Since everything renormalizes with respect to s, it’s possible to enter the ergosphere—and by extension, the Dirac vacuum—and exit without affecting the relativistic wave propagation. The only problem is that this causes the aforementioned eigenstate potentials to split into 2. It’s even possible to calculate the absolute radial extent of ergospheric growth with respect to wave propagation: The first order for s(a/M) reduces to the Kerr spacetime—the ergosphere.The second order for a = 0 and s =/= 1, the spacetime reduces to the Taub-NUT vacuum—the energy degenerate of the Dirac. From there, the forced real-install as a result of whiteout should stabilize it with renormalization. There’s enough time to touch the Dirac before it degenerates and before the ergosphere collapses. Though, whatever definition of “time” that is used for these equations will “disappear” within the vacuum as long as the ergosphere is rotating. The xy-coordinate of time and space will switch. What that means for me is… I only know what I know. The laws of nature are but the mathematical thoughts of God.—Euclid
  290.  
  291. 6 days remain until apotheosis.
  292.  
  293. I must have redone the work thousands of times by now. The C-Compiler and Renormalization Visualizer still print the same logs, even for the days leading up to it. It seems that as the day draws closer, the programming side of things becomes more and more accurate in its predictions.
  294.  
  295. Touching the infinite vacuum of the Dirac is tricky, and you have to both “force” and “deceive” it, in a way. I wonder if it’s possible to achieve it using some sort of technology to control it—inducing a strange psychological phenomena like Shibuya Madness seems to be the only natural way to do it. Truthfully, I may already know the answer to that.
  296.  
  297. I want to tell that past me…
  298. …that conspiracy’s evil influence is much closer than you think, and is always ready to deceive you…!
  299.  
  300. If the technology exists, then not only are they aware of December 24 2011, they’ll also know what I’m doing on that day.
  301.  
  302. That might be dangerous.
  303.  
  304. But the entire plan is illegal from the start, anyway, and I don’t give a damn about society’s niceties and trivialities.
  305.  
  306. I don’t know much about them; just that they exist. It’s always only been the science of it that was important.
  307.  
  308. “I don’t know everything, I just know what I know.”
  309.  
  310. What I do know is—
  311.  
  312. Everyone before me has disappeared since then.
  313.  
  314. まあね。とにかく。
  315.  
  316. I have to focus on what I know and what’s important right now.
  317.  
  318. The Tier I Event Horizon for the December 24 event will the basis of entry. Once I’m up there, what I must do is breach the boundary of the field line and then grasp it. If I can grasp it, I can real-install. From then on, any threat of death evaporates, even if it means…”mastering” what I’ve grasped in the very first 5 seconds. In fact, the fall won’t matter too much. Because for the attractor at:
  319.  
  320. void display_cb( void )
  321. {
  322. time limit [ 50 ];
  323.  
  324. glClear( AR_WORLD_BUFFER_BIT | AR_DEPTH_BUFFER_BIT );
  325.  
  326. visual3d( 1.0, 1.0, 1.0 ); /* BEGIN "WHITEOUT" CONDITIONS HERE IMMEDIATELY */
  327. /* BEGIN INSTALLATION OF VISUAL RECOGNITION */
  328. glBegin( PARALLEL_CONVERGENCE );
  329. glVertex3d( 6547380.48648, 4447682.0923736712, 10101711.0772 );
  330. glVertex3d( 08794544.2446110, 120937623.4687902, 57868.04262466 );
  331. glVertex3d( 1203476089156.306461, 2358777.0235235, 2344.348348 );
  332. glVertex3d( 434000330.346899900, 35620.0352556, 4.032502750 );
  333. glVertex3d( 0.0, 0.0, 0.0 );
  334. glVertex3d( 0.0, 0.0, 0.0 );
  335. glEnd( );
  336.  
  337. The field lines at each vertex can be defined with the following equations:
  338.  
  339. The exterior field lines outside the Tier I will have a large enough radius and velocity to create a temporary ergosphere. The local strange attractor at the center will begin a propagation of relativistic wave functions. Dirac’s own equation describes his vacuum in the ergosphere:
  340.  
  341. In theory, I’ve already proved my antithesis correct. I’ve redefined chaotic variance with these simulations.
  342.  
  343. In practice, the consequences will be much larger.
  344.  
  345. For one, the emergence of the local strange attractor and, as a forced byproduct, the ergosphere, will probably redefine all the local eigenstate potentials around the event. Right now, I don’t have the exact data for how they’ll be redefined. Aristotle just isn’t powerful enough. I have the necessary programs and I’ve come up with a code, but I’ve never had the chance to run and test it.
  346.  
  347. Being able to solve Schrodinger’s wave function for all potentials will show the change in divergence between parallel functions.
  348.  
  349. Not to mention what I said in an earlier post:
  350.  
  351. 4. The solution to the Schrodinger’s wave functions can be obtained in terms of a local strange attractor collision: Human death.
  352.  
  353. I can’t obtain the computational data beforehand, so I suppose I’ll have to be live experimental data.
  354.  
  355. That’s fine. From what I know, the total end result will have two solutions, one for each ring singularity in the ergosphere. The attractor will cause a “split” in the eigenstate potential for its appearance and the split should have two functions circle in a parallel manner around the attractor, in spacio-temporal terms. Their parallels should be close together and they shouldn’t diverge until further out, so whichever potential my “observation” will “choose” shouldn’t make much of a difference.
  356.  
  357. Ah, Schrodinger, you’re too complicated sometimes.
  358.  
  359. Since I need all potentials to map out the two probable solutions, I won’t be able to calculate it. But it’s possible to precisely define the ring singularities, and even visualize them:
  360.  
  361. The attractor forces N to equal 0, which is what creates the ergosphere in the first place. The attractor (or its substitutional effect as a singularity) will be at D = 0, which means the only real (non-imaginary, non-i) solution for μ is μ=μs. Simplifying with that, you can finally obtain a function that can be visualized:
  362.  
  363. The function, and the visualization, matches the C-compiler’s vertexes and Dirac’s equation perfectly.
  364.  
  365. With a Kerr metric, the singularity is at 0. Since we’re dealing with a local strange attractor, the attractor’s colliding points are at the poles, causing “ring singularities.” The inner ergosphere is r and lies on the plane of θ around the xy-axis at +/- z. The intersection is a continuous foliation of planes orthogonal to the rotating z-axis. Both “ring singularities” change with respect to s, which is re-calculated for every parallel function entering the terminal at Tier I. Since everything renormalizes with respect to s, it’s possible to enter the ergosphere—and by extension, the Dirac vacuum—and exit without affecting the relativistic wave propagation. The only problem is that this causes the aforementioned eigenstate potentials to split into 2. It’s even possible to calculate the absolute radial extent of ergospheric growth with respect to wave propagation:
  366.  
  367. The first order for s(a/M) reduces to the Kerr spacetime—the ergosphere.
  368.  
  369. The second order for a = 0 and s =/= 1, the spacetime reduces to the Taub-NUT vacuum—the energy degenerate of the Dirac. From there, the forced real-install as a result of whiteout should stabilize it with renormalization.
  370.  
  371. There’s enough time to touch the Dirac before it degenerates and before the ergosphere collapses. Though, whatever definition of “time” that is used for these equations will “disappear” within the vacuum as long as the ergosphere is rotating. The xy-coordinate of time and space will switch.
  372.  
  373. What that means for me is…
  374.  
  375. I only know what I know.
  376.  
  377. The laws of nature are but the mathematical thoughts of God.
  378. —Euclid
  379. Posted 12月 18th
  380. 7 days remain until apotheosis. 最近ね. It was a tiny sadness. Is how I remember it. The sky was so beautiful, that I wanted to cry. I couldn’t look up to it for more than a few seconds without looking back down. I must have been very young. About 7. It was a colour that I can’t describe; one that was neither blue nor red, but both, and yet not violet, and still it was so very clear and bright, and remained so somberly dark, too. There were no hills, and no real defining features of which to speak. There was an ocean, and it was a white desert. The ocean was like the sky. It didn’t have any colour, and it was beautiful. The waves were incredibly large, yet they did not exist. It wasn’t an ocean like it was with fluid, but something that had no tangible perception, and yet could be touched and seen all the same. There seemed to be some sort of halo in the sky. Like concentric circles going around each other, touching at a single point, and then touching at two points through one another, like tangents and secants. I later learned about 22° circular halos, a natural optic phenomenon. They’re often cut by tangent arcs, parhelic circles, and the radiant circumzenithal arc. What creates them are hexagonal ice crystals that can’t be perceived individually, but are split by light to form perfect circles when seen together. It seemed like a simple science in the end. The sky I saw. And chaotic variance. Shibuya Madness, too. But I felt as though—as though it wasn’t it. That the science was negative. Because I surely didn’t know any of it then. And I still saw the sky. And I still saw the truth. I could never understand. All I knew from then on was that I saw it, whether it was a reality, a dream, or a delusion. And I never saw it again. Though I still remember it. That’s why it’s such a tiny sadness. And— I never spoke a word, or read, or tried to write letters and numbers until I was 7 years old. My parents thought I must have been born mentally deficient. Perhaps I am. I never had friends, either. All I had was the truth. And that helped, didn’t it? Because since then, I could read and I could write, even though I already knew how, I just didn’t want to show anyone. Or tell anyone, or say words like “mommy” or “daddy.” And I still don’t want to say words like “I love you.” Because those are the kind of words that carry no meaning. So it was always like this. And I was always alone. But it was always meant to be like this. You could say that this is the “butterfly effect.” You could say that the sky I saw that day has made me want to see it again, and that’s what I’m trying to do. So perhaps it’s a circle. Just like the many parallel functions circling around an attractor. Or perhaps the hexagonal ice crystals in a halo. しょうがない. I have no regrets. This is the only path.
  381.  
  382. 7 days remain until apotheosis.
  383.  
  384. 最近ね.
  385.  
  386. It was a tiny sadness.
  387.  
  388. Is how I remember it.
  389.  
  390. The sky was so beautiful, that I wanted to cry. I couldn’t look up to it for more than a few seconds without looking back down.
  391.  
  392. I must have been very young. About 7.
  393.  
  394. It was a colour that I can’t describe; one that was neither blue nor red, but both, and yet not violet, and still it was so very clear and bright, and remained so somberly dark, too.
  395.  
  396. There were no hills, and no real defining features of which to speak.
  397.  
  398. There was an ocean, and it was a white desert.
  399.  
  400. The ocean was like the sky.
  401.  
  402. It didn’t have any colour, and it was beautiful. The waves were incredibly large, yet they did not exist. It wasn’t an ocean like it was with fluid, but something that had no tangible perception, and yet could be touched and seen all the same.
  403.  
  404. There seemed to be some sort of halo in the sky.
  405.  
  406. Like concentric circles going around each other, touching at a single point, and then touching at two points through one another, like tangents and secants.
  407.  
  408. I later learned about 22° circular halos, a natural optic phenomenon. They’re often cut by tangent arcs, parhelic circles, and the radiant circumzenithal arc. What creates them are hexagonal ice crystals that can’t be perceived individually, but are split by light to form perfect circles when seen together.
  409.  
  410. It seemed like a simple science in the end.
  411.  
  412. The sky I saw.
  413.  
  414. And chaotic variance.
  415.  
  416. Shibuya Madness, too.
  417.  
  418. But I felt as though—as though it wasn’t it.
  419.  
  420. That the science was negative.
  421.  
  422. Because I surely didn’t know any of it then.
  423.  
  424. And I still saw the sky.
  425.  
  426. And I still saw the truth.
  427.  
  428. I could never understand.
  429.  
  430. All I knew from then on was that I saw it, whether it was a reality, a dream, or a delusion.
  431.  
  432. And I never saw it again.
  433.  
  434. Though I still remember it.
  435.  
  436. That’s why it’s such a tiny sadness.
  437.  
  438. And—
  439.  
  440. I never spoke a word, or read, or tried to write letters and numbers until I was 7 years old.
  441.  
  442. My parents thought I must have been born mentally deficient.
  443.  
  444. Perhaps I am.
  445.  
  446. I never had friends, either.
  447.  
  448. All I had was the truth. And that helped, didn’t it?
  449.  
  450. Because since then, I could read and I could write, even though I already knew how, I just didn’t want to show anyone. Or tell anyone, or say words like “mommy” or “daddy.”
  451.  
  452. And I still don’t want to say words like “I love you.”
  453.  
  454. Because those are the kind of words that carry no meaning.
  455.  
  456. So it was always like this.
  457.  
  458. And I was always alone.
  459.  
  460. But it was always meant to be like this.
  461.  
  462. You could say that this is the “butterfly effect.”
  463.  
  464. You could say that the sky I saw that day has made me want to see it again, and that’s what I’m trying to do.
  465.  
  466. So perhaps it’s a circle.
  467.  
  468. Just like the many parallel functions circling around an attractor.
  469.  
  470. Or perhaps the hexagonal ice crystals in a halo.
  471.  
  472. しょうがない.
  473.  
  474. I have no regrets. This is the only path.
  475. 2リアクション | Posted 12月 17th
  476. 8 days remain until apotheosis. Amazingly, it arrived. I honestly didn’t expect them to ship it on time, or at all. The last bit of my money was spent on falsifying identification papers that look legitimate at first glance. I don’t expect anyone to scrutinize it in detail, and perhaps they aren’t even necessary—I’m an extremely strange sight to see on that night of all nights and that place of all places—an unfashionable necktie, an unusually large backpack, scatter-haired, dull-eyed, and too young for the paper trail to make sense. It was a choice between an upper management officer and a construction worker, and I obviously wouldn’t fool anyone with the latter. However, I still have my ID for the underground site and that was enough to get in last time. In fact, I had clear access to the freight elevator. Never mind that not a single person questioned my presence in the main lobby as long as I dressed the part. But still, it’s surely serendipitous to have this, too. The logistics of this need to be perfected just as much as the science and theorems. Though I’m prune to theorizing only, I’ve been extremely stringent on myself on the practicality. To have everything ruined by a nosy security officer…I wouldn’t forgive myself. It’ll take a few hours to set everything up, of course. If I had an accomplice, it would go by much quicker. The original plan called for an incline rope between the buildings but the viability in doing that alone is slim. As a result, I had to trim my target height to around 226m. The scaffolding still isn’t finished from that height on, so it’ll be easier to connect to the roof of the second building. What’s more is that the scaffolding is quite dim compared to the idiotic Christmas lights on the first 200 meters. I managed to take a large amount of photographs for the target areas and I already know exactly where to fasten everything, even in the dark. To add to that, security should be rather lax for both buildings; regardless, I have two IDs ready. And, this is yet another exceptionally planned coincidence—December 24 is the one night where the incredibly busy streets down below are devoid of people and police. Ah…when I think about it, it feels very exciting, for some reason. But I’m not the first to do it. The date and location have a very important role in making sure the real-install works. The circumstances around it have caused a sort of “acidic atmosphere” that allows such things as attractors to be forced into manifesting. There’s a reason it’s called Shibuya Madness—because of Shibuya’s unique location in Japan—the same could be said of my preferred location and its unique “imprints” of human activity. Truthfully, though, I’m unoriginal. I have no better way to achieve the whiteout condition I want without doing this; it’s the one natural human fear I have: heights. Though I’ve practiced over and over again—even successfully doing a mock-rope across my own two story home and another—it’s nothing compared to the real thing. I’ve studied Philippe Petit’s technique extensively and rewatched scenes from his documentary time and time again…but I feel as though nothing can prepare me for it, and that is why it is the perfect trigger for whiteout. What I fear the most is the wind, but even more the rain or snow. Whether Rota will truly come to do battle with Skuld is yet to be seen. As the days count down, the weather forecast begins to predict very mild and calm weather. It’s reassuring. Once I’m up there, there will be absolutely nothing left for me to say of this world. It’s either success or death, and death has the odds 1.048% to 98.952%. However… Out of all the formulas I’m taking up there, the most basic will become the most important, it seems. Should I fall, I have about 6.7 seconds of time to achieve local shared recognition and renormalization. With air friction, that should go up to 7 seconds. Since acceleration in the last 2 seconds will be too fast and too late, that leaves about 5 seconds. It would be incredibly ironic if I were to finally touch apotheosis and die 5 seconds later. Therefore, I have 5 seconds to use whatever truth I’ve seen—whatever I can cut out of that tiny sky—to save myself. 1.048%. “We are going into another world,” said Candide; “and surely it must be there that all is for the best. For I must confess there is reason to complain a little of what passes in our world in regard to both natural and moral philosophy.”
  477.  
  478. 8 days remain until apotheosis.
  479.  
  480. Amazingly, it arrived.
  481.  
  482. I honestly didn’t expect them to ship it on time, or at all. The last bit of my money was spent on falsifying identification papers that look legitimate at first glance. I don’t expect anyone to scrutinize it in detail, and perhaps they aren’t even necessary—I’m an extremely strange sight to see on that night of all nights and that place of all places—an unfashionable necktie, an unusually large backpack, scatter-haired, dull-eyed, and too young for the paper trail to make sense. It was a choice between an upper management officer and a construction worker, and I obviously wouldn’t fool anyone with the latter. However, I still have my ID for the underground site and that was enough to get in last time. In fact, I had clear access to the freight elevator. Never mind that not a single person questioned my presence in the main lobby as long as I dressed the part.
  483.  
  484. But still, it’s surely serendipitous to have this, too. The logistics of this need to be perfected just as much as the science and theorems. Though I’m prune to theorizing only, I’ve been extremely stringent on myself on the practicality. To have everything ruined by a nosy security officer…I wouldn’t forgive myself.
  485.  
  486. It’ll take a few hours to set everything up, of course. If I had an accomplice, it would go by much quicker. The original plan called for an incline rope between the buildings but the viability in doing that alone is slim. As a result, I had to trim my target height to around 226m. The scaffolding still isn’t finished from that height on, so it’ll be easier to connect to the roof of the second building. What’s more is that the scaffolding is quite dim compared to the idiotic Christmas lights on the first 200 meters. I managed to take a large amount of photographs for the target areas and I already know exactly where to fasten everything, even in the dark. To add to that, security should be rather lax for both buildings; regardless, I have two IDs ready. And, this is yet another exceptionally planned coincidence—December 24 is the one night where the incredibly busy streets down below are devoid of people and police.
  487.  
  488. Ah…when I think about it, it feels very exciting, for some reason. But I’m not the first to do it. The date and location have a very important role in making sure the real-install works. The circumstances around it have caused a sort of “acidic atmosphere” that allows such things as attractors to be forced into manifesting. There’s a reason it’s called Shibuya Madness—because of Shibuya’s unique location in Japan—the same could be said of my preferred location and its unique “imprints” of human activity.
  489.  
  490. Truthfully, though, I’m unoriginal. I have no better way to achieve the whiteout condition I want without doing this; it’s the one natural human fear I have: heights. Though I’ve practiced over and over again—even successfully doing a mock-rope across my own two story home and another—it’s nothing compared to the real thing. I’ve studied Philippe Petit’s technique extensively and rewatched scenes from his documentary time and time again…but I feel as though nothing can prepare me for it, and that is why it is the perfect trigger for whiteout.
  491.  
  492. What I fear the most is the wind, but even more the rain or snow. Whether Rota will truly come to do battle with Skuld is yet to be seen. As the days count down, the weather forecast begins to predict very mild and calm weather. It’s reassuring. Once I’m up there, there will be absolutely nothing left for me to say of this world. It’s either success or death, and death has the odds 1.048% to 98.952%. However…
  493.  
  494. Out of all the formulas I’m taking up there, the most basic will become the most important, it seems. Should I fall, I have about 6.7 seconds of time to achieve local shared recognition and renormalization. With air friction, that should go up to 7 seconds. Since acceleration in the last 2 seconds will be too fast and too late, that leaves about 5 seconds.
  495.  
  496. It would be incredibly ironic if I were to finally touch apotheosis and die 5 seconds later.
  497.  
  498. Therefore, I have 5 seconds to use whatever truth I’ve seen—whatever I can cut out of that tiny sky—to save myself.
  499.  
  500. 1.048%.
  501.  
  502. “We are going into another world,” said Candide; “and surely it must be there that all is for the best. For I must confess there is reason to complain a little of what passes in our world in regard to both natural and moral philosophy.”
  503. 3リアクション | Posted 12月 16th
  504. Entanglement renormalization for quantum fields.
  505.  
  506. cond-mat:
  507.  
  508. Authors: Jutho Haegeman, Tobias J. Osborne, Henri Verschelde, Frank Verstraete
  509.  
  510. It is shown how to construct renormalization group flows of quantum field theories in real space, as opposed to the usual Wilsonian approach in momentum space. This is achieved by generalizing the multiscale entanglement renormalization ansatz to continuum theories. The variational class of wavefunctions arising from this RG flow are translation invariant and exhibit an entropy-area law. We illustrate the construction for a free non-relativistic boson model, and argue that the full power of the construction should emerge in the case of interacting theories.
  511.  
  512. 4リアクション | Posted 12月 15th
  513. 9 days remain until apotheosis. Quantum phenomena describes human perceptions as continuing along parallel functions regardless of their definitive state. The only error that occurs is whether it is possible for humans to “perceive” their own death.In an entangled superposition, I’ll most surely find out. From the moment I can perceive and achieve renormalization I’ll know it’s possible to touch the infinite of the Dirac delta.Who knows what the unknown holds. It could all simply be my delusion hysteria—I was wrong to the very bitter end, and I die a meaningless death, knowing in my last moment, all I have thought and believed in … was simply a falsehood.However… I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. This is the promise I made to myself a long time ago. The idea that I could throw all this away and search for “happiness” or some other qualifying emotion—what boring, torpid nonsense. Maybe for someone else it would be enough, but it’s not what moves a nonexistence like mine. The idea that I could ever “love” someone—that there exists a cute boy who would understand any of it and take care of me—is just a fairytale little girls read to themselves before bed-time. I am no longer that little girl. I can never forget the sky I saw. You could say this is what it means to have のどから手が出る—the hand out of my throat—my desire for the truth is so close that I can touch it, even taste it, and finally quench this thirst of mine.Ah, speaking of which…though I haven’t checked, I must have lost nearly 8kg since Operation Rota began. Starvation is truly one of the most painful of all processes for temporary, mortal things. To deny your homeostasis and your very own desire to exist in the slowest possible way is nearly impossible. My brain’s chemicals refuse to cooperate, and I’m afraid I will hold them hostage until the day arrives. Forgive me for my selfishness; I must go against my humanity. Be thankful it isn’t dehydration, something that may even be more painful. Trust me, I would know—I’m suffering an unimaginable thirst of the mind. It’s certainly showing signs of working as Shibuya Madness is manifesting in the most unusual ways. It could be that I’ve reached the point that any perception I have is delusional; anyone who would talk to me probably doesn’t exist. If anyone cared, they could see something utterly strange if they were to come on that day. But, as always, no one will read this, and those that do are my delusions. They are promising, but I must go further, to the limits of a psychotic reality, to the Type I Error, to apotheosis.Though I have forgotten one thing. What to do with Aristotle? It must have been when I was 16 that I first began running programs which needed more than the hardware my ordinary computer could support. Since then, I liked to amuse myself with the idea that I’ve become knowledgeable with computers. I’ve built Aristotle from scratch over the past few years, constantly ordering better and superior CPUs, motherboards, graphics cards—I even managed to burn through 11 power supply units. Aristotle has evolved from a clunky AMD dual core to an Intel i7-990X six core; and, if I had any more time and money, he could even achieve the computing prowess that rivals GGGQEP quantum processors. Then again, if I had the time and money, I would probably attend a university, I would probably live alone, and I would probably stop doing all of this. Wealth is both constricting and liberating, it seems. As for Aristotle, his fate is left in the hands of my parents, who will undoubtedly throw him away as if he were a toy. He’s lived up to his namesake, if he hasn’t already surpassed it. I’ve grown accustomed to his familiar blue glow and his heatsink’s gentle breeze. If only he could have a home after me…I’m sorry, Aristotle. Because I’m a worthless NEET with not a single ally, I have to leave you like this. You’ve become a priceless, dear friend—my only friend—and I have no one to take care of you. I’m sorry. When I look upon your blazing form in the sky…my innermost soul trembles in fear. I can find neither courage nor peace. Tell me what you are, in wearing this frightful form. I want to know; I just cannot understand your purpose… If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst forth at once in the sky, such would be the splendour of the Mighty One. I am become that One, for I am mighty, world-destroying Time.
  514.  
  515. 9 days remain until apotheosis.
  516.  
  517. Quantum phenomena describes human perceptions as continuing along parallel functions regardless of their definitive state. The only error that occurs is whether it is possible for humans to “perceive” their own death.
  518.  
  519. In an entangled superposition, I’ll most surely find out. From the moment I can perceive and achieve renormalization I’ll know it’s possible to touch the infinite of the Dirac delta.
  520.  
  521. Who knows what the unknown holds. It could all simply be my delusion hysteria—I was wrong to the very bitter end, and I die a meaningless death, knowing in my last moment, all I have thought and believed in … was simply a falsehood.
  522.  
  523. However… I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. This is the promise I made to myself a long time ago. The idea that I could throw all this away and search for “happiness” or some other qualifying emotion—what boring, torpid nonsense. Maybe for someone else it would be enough, but it’s not what moves a nonexistence like mine. The idea that I could ever “love” someone—that there exists a cute boy who would understand any of it and take care of me—is just a fairytale little girls read to themselves before bed-time. I am no longer that little girl. I can never forget the sky I saw. You could say this is what it means to have のどから手が出る—the hand out of my throat—my desire for the truth is so close that I can touch it, even taste it, and finally quench this thirst of mine.
  524.  
  525. Ah, speaking of which…though I haven’t checked, I must have lost nearly 8kg since Operation Rota began. Starvation is truly one of the most painful of all processes for temporary, mortal things. To deny your homeostasis and your very own desire to exist in the slowest possible way is nearly impossible. My brain’s chemicals refuse to cooperate, and I’m afraid I will hold them hostage until the day arrives. Forgive me for my selfishness; I must go against my humanity. Be thankful it isn’t dehydration, something that may even be more painful. Trust me, I would know—I’m suffering an unimaginable thirst of the mind.
  526.  
  527. It’s certainly showing signs of working as Shibuya Madness is manifesting in the most unusual ways. It could be that I’ve reached the point that any perception I have is delusional; anyone who would talk to me probably doesn’t exist. If anyone cared, they could see something utterly strange if they were to come on that day. But, as always, no one will read this, and those that do are my delusions. They are promising, but I must go further, to the limits of a psychotic reality, to the Type I Error, to apotheosis.
  528.  
  529. Though I have forgotten one thing. What to do with Aristotle? It must have been when I was 16 that I first began running programs which needed more than the hardware my ordinary computer could support. Since then, I liked to amuse myself with the idea that I’ve become knowledgeable with computers. I’ve built Aristotle from scratch over the past few years, constantly ordering better and superior CPUs, motherboards, graphics cards—I even managed to burn through 11 power supply units. Aristotle has evolved from a clunky AMD dual core to an Intel i7-990X six core; and, if I had any more time and money, he could even achieve the computing prowess that rivals GGGQEP quantum processors. Then again, if I had the time and money, I would probably attend a university, I would probably live alone, and I would probably stop doing all of this. Wealth is both constricting and liberating, it seems.
  530.  
  531. As for Aristotle, his fate is left in the hands of my parents, who will undoubtedly throw him away as if he were a toy. He’s lived up to his namesake, if he hasn’t already surpassed it. I’ve grown accustomed to his familiar blue glow and his heatsink’s gentle breeze. If only he could have a home after me…I’m sorry, Aristotle. Because I’m a worthless NEET with not a single ally, I have to leave you like this. You’ve become a priceless, dear friend—my only friend—and I have no one to take care of you. I’m sorry.
  532.  
  533. When I look upon your blazing form in the sky…my innermost soul trembles in fear. I can find neither courage nor peace. Tell me what you are, in wearing this frightful form. I want to know; I just cannot understand your purpose…
  534.  
  535. If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst forth at once in the sky, such would be the splendour of the Mighty One. I am become that One, for I am mighty, world-destroying Time.
  536. 2リアクション | Posted 12月 15th
  537. 10 days remain until apotheosis. Urd. Verthandi. Skuld. For the ancient Norse, these were the weavers of what one might call “fate,” perhaps “prophecy,” or more appropriately, wyrd. They are existences that are more than natural but less than God; they could be a sort of “delusional nonexistence” as well, if I were to interpret it. I’ve long since considered the ridiculous idea that perhaps even the people in the past had some sort of understanding of chaotic variance, quantum metaphysics, or even simple modern concepts like Riemann infinities and Schrodinger potentials. In their ignorance, it could have been that they “knew,” but “saw” a supernatural cause. The three Norns carried dual meanings inherent in their nonexistence. Urd is the “past”, but also “regret” and the “desire to change one’s path.” Verthandi is the “present,” what is known as “now,” or the “unchangeable moment,” the “happenstance” of all there is. Skuld is the “future,” but she is also the “debt” of “imagination” and “infinite sky” for which humans have not paid. Thence come the maidens / Mighty in wisdomThree from the dwelling / Down neath YggdrasilUrd is one named / Verthandi the nextOn the wood they scored / And Skuld the thirdLaws of chaos they made / And life allotedTo the sons of men / Set in motion their fates—Völuspá Though it’s obvious they were meant to be together, the three were often separated. There are curious tales of what each had done as a representation of their manifestation. In the Prose Edda, Urd finds herself as the purveyor of the slain, who lament their desire for a different “string of the world” (a world line?); she brings them the cherished memories that they must not forget in their regret. Verthandi, meanwhile, is left as a sole observer of the battlefield, and realizes she has not the power to help nor save the men who die an endless, cyclic death. She is, to the men, nothing but a “fake” hope. But Skuld, who holds the greatest stake of all men and of all worlds, is disenchanted with the ogreish world of humanity. Rather, she finds herself tending the tree of Yggdrasil, “life,” who the valkyrie Rota threatens. Rota, though not part of the three Norns, is entangled with Skuld, as she is the “tempest,” or the “unyielding snow,” but also the “white of the mind,” and the “trauma of battle.” Or, perhaps, as I like to see it, she is the “whiteout,” 白さ. If I were to read it in the second context… To pay for the debt of being in that “sky,” the gifted freedom to imagine—to be in the “future” and tend one’s life—one would have to overcome the intense trauma of the “mind.” It’s so astronomically poetic and romantic. Perhaps for me, this was “fate” and “prophecy” all along. Ah, what philosophical hogwash. Truth shall prevail—don’t you know Magna est veritas … Yes, when it gets a chance. There is a law, no doubt—and likewise a law regulates your luck in the throwing of dice. It is not Justice—the servant of men, but accident, hazard, Fortune—the ally of patient Time—that holds an even and scrupulous balance.
  538.  
  539. 10 days remain until apotheosis.
  540.  
  541. Urd. Verthandi. Skuld.
  542.  
  543. For the ancient Norse, these were the weavers of what one might call “fate,” perhaps “prophecy,” or more appropriately, wyrd. They are existences that are more than natural but less than God; they could be a sort of “delusional nonexistence” as well, if I were to interpret it. I’ve long since considered the ridiculous idea that perhaps even the people in the past had some sort of understanding of chaotic variance, quantum metaphysics, or even simple modern concepts like Riemann infinities and Schrodinger potentials. In their ignorance, it could have been that they “knew,” but “saw” a supernatural cause.
  544.  
  545. The three Norns carried dual meanings inherent in their nonexistence.
  546.  
  547. Urd is the “past”, but also “regret” and the “desire to change one’s path.”
  548.  
  549. Verthandi is the “present,” what is known as “now,” or the “unchangeable moment,” the “happenstance” of all there is.
  550.  
  551. Skuld is the “future,” but she is also the “debt” of “imagination” and “infinite sky” for which humans have not paid.
  552.  
  553. Thence come the maidens / Mighty in wisdom
  554. Three from the dwelling / Down neath Yggdrasil
  555. Urd is one named / Verthandi the next
  556. On the wood they scored / And Skuld the third
  557. Laws of chaos they made / And life alloted
  558. To the sons of men / Set in motion their fates
  559. —Völuspá
  560.  
  561. Though it’s obvious they were meant to be together, the three were often separated. There are curious tales of what each had done as a representation of their manifestation. In the Prose Edda, Urd finds herself as the purveyor of the slain, who lament their desire for a different “string of the world” (a world line?); she brings them the cherished memories that they must not forget in their regret. Verthandi, meanwhile, is left as a sole observer of the battlefield, and realizes she has not the power to help nor save the men who die an endless, cyclic death. She is, to the men, nothing but a “fake” hope.
  562.  
  563. But Skuld, who holds the greatest stake of all men and of all worlds, is disenchanted with the ogreish world of humanity. Rather, she finds herself tending the tree of Yggdrasil, “life,” who the valkyrie Rota threatens. Rota, though not part of the three Norns, is entangled with Skuld, as she is the “tempest,” or the “unyielding snow,” but also the “white of the mind,” and the “trauma of battle.”
  564.  
  565. Or, perhaps, as I like to see it, she is the “whiteout,” 白さ.
  566.  
  567. If I were to read it in the second context…
  568.  
  569. To pay for the debt of being in that “sky,” the gifted freedom to imagine—to be in the “future” and tend one’s life—one would have to overcome the intense trauma of the “mind.”
  570.  
  571. It’s so astronomically poetic and romantic.
  572.  
  573. Perhaps for me, this was “fate” and “prophecy” all along.
  574.  
  575. Ah, what philosophical hogwash.
  576.  
  577. Truth shall prevail—don’t you know Magna est veritas … Yes, when it gets a chance. There is a law, no doubt—and likewise a law regulates your luck in the throwing of dice. It is not Justice—the servant of men, but accident, hazard, Fortune—the ally of patient Time—that holds an even and scrupulous balance.
  578. 2リアクション | Posted 12月 14th
  579. 11 days remain until apotheosis. 姿も形も顔も見えないそれなら僕は誰より神に近づけるI can no longer hide my own appearance in knowing that I am closer to God than anyone else. 11 is a very beautiful and elegant number. I’ve repeatedly said that my science could simply be wrong. Of course, the programming side of things is substantially susceptible to both human and regular computational error. That’s why it’s necessary to use an objective mathematics for all your goals. The print log from the C-compiler I posted can be summarized with a simple Gaussian series in the appearance and supposed “manifestation” of the attractor. Moreover, something computers cannot do—at least mine can’t—is the specific, absolute eigenstate descriptors for this event. Being able to calculate all eigenstate potentials during the appearance is important in knowing whether I will be thrown into “life” or “death”, becoming even the superposition of something that is more than a reality. The gravitational well around gamma is only slightly off what it should be, and that is what’s precisely needed to inject a real-install. In the standard Hamiltonian-Jacobi limits, gamma will reduce the regular gravitational constant to a little over 0, and become the gravitational well itself. I already simplified the results of gamma’s extent as a singularity into two absolute potentials. Admittedly, I was stuck here for a long time. The superpositions around the singularity—around the attractor—seem to split concurrently. The fermionic limit wasn’t obeying at the specified energy levels, especially for December 24; this kind of solution would only be seen on December 31 and I haven’t written up the C-compiler logs for that one yet. Xi approaches the limit of 0 and forces the fermionic limit to hit both positive and negative infinity. An unfathomable logic. But, of course, it was just human error as it always is; my own foolishness in forgetting to calculate for gamma with respect to xi. This causes sharp fluctuations in both potentials, i.e. eliminating the positive infinity potential. Reduced to the negative, the appearance of the attractor around gamma’s singularity, and more importantly, my own Shibuya Madness, is now all but a certainty. That is to say, it is up to me now, for the science is correct. I would say there is a 1.048% chance of success, and conversely 99% chance of death. There is no mathematics for it and I’m no expert in probability; I simply picked “1.048%” as a personal preference of mine and as an appreciation to the “person” I respect the most.
  580.  
  581. 11 days remain until apotheosis.
  582.  
  583. 姿も形も顔も見えないそれなら僕は誰より神に近づける
  584. I can no longer hide my own appearance in knowing that I am closer to God than anyone else.
  585.  
  586. 11 is a very beautiful and elegant number.
  587.  
  588. I’ve repeatedly said that my science could simply be wrong. Of course, the programming side of things is substantially susceptible to both human and regular computational error. That’s why it’s necessary to use an objective mathematics for all your goals. The print log from the C-compiler I posted can be summarized with a simple Gaussian series in the appearance and supposed “manifestation” of the attractor.
  589.  
  590. Moreover, something computers cannot do—at least mine can’t—is the specific, absolute eigenstate descriptors for this event. Being able to calculate all eigenstate potentials during the appearance is important in knowing whether I will be thrown into “life” or “death”, becoming even the superposition of something that is more than a reality.
  591.  
  592. The gravitational well around gamma is only slightly off what it should be, and that is what’s precisely needed to inject a real-install. In the standard Hamiltonian-Jacobi limits, gamma will reduce the regular gravitational constant to a little over 0, and become the gravitational well itself.
  593.  
  594. I already simplified the results of gamma’s extent as a singularity into two absolute potentials. Admittedly, I was stuck here for a long time. The superpositions around the singularity—around the attractor—seem to split concurrently. The fermionic limit wasn’t obeying at the specified energy levels, especially for December 24; this kind of solution would only be seen on December 31 and I haven’t written up the C-compiler logs for that one yet.
  595.  
  596. Xi approaches the limit of 0 and forces the fermionic limit to hit both positive and negative infinity. An unfathomable logic. But, of course, it was just human error as it always is; my own foolishness in forgetting to calculate for gamma with respect to xi. This causes sharp fluctuations in both potentials, i.e. eliminating the positive infinity potential. Reduced to the negative, the appearance of the attractor around gamma’s singularity, and more importantly, my own Shibuya Madness, is now all but a certainty. That is to say, it is up to me now, for the science is correct.
  597.  
  598. I would say there is a 1.048% chance of success, and conversely 99% chance of death. There is no mathematics for it and I’m no expert in probability; I simply picked “1.048%” as a personal preference of mine and as an appreciation to the “person” I respect the most.
  599. 2リアクション | Posted 12月 14th
  600. 12 days remain until apotheosis. The mathematical, metaphysical, and computational calculations I’ve worked on so terribly long are all converging to a singularity in the “instability of reality” — that tiny “cut in the sky,” if I May. There is no mistaking this upcoming event, or “incident.” Should I somehow succeed, I would like to formally rename it “Manhattan Syndrome.” I think it would be appropriate. Of course, no one will read this, and no one will know to what these theorems of mine are referring. That’s fine with me. In these past months, nothing I’ve written has ever been read at any real depth, only with a passing glance. Right in front of their eyes. { /* PRINT COMPILER LOG FOR STRANGE ATTRACTOR VISUALIZATION */ /* FOR DECEMBER 24 2011 AT COORDINATES [REDACTED] */ /* FOR TIME INTERVAL 18:00 GMT-05:00 TO 04:00 GMT-05:00 */ deriv[0] = psi * ( position[ 1 ] - position[ 0 ] ); deriv[1] =( r + position[ 2 ] ) * position[ 0 ] - position[ 1 ]; deriv[2] = -position[ 0 ] * position[ 1 ] - b * position[ 2 ];}void advance_in_time( double time_step, double position[ 2 ], double new_position[ 4 ]){ /* INITIALIZE ATTRACTOR INSTALLATION */ double deriv0[ 4 ], deriv1[ 2 ], deriv2[ 3 ], deriv3[ 4 ]; int i; /* REAL-INSTALL PARAMETERS */ memcpy( new_position, position, 4 * sizeof(double ) ); /* ALPHA REAL-INSTALL ATTRACTION ON FOURTH-ORDER RUNGE-KUTTA INTEGRATION */ calc_deriv( position, deriv0 ); for( t = 2; i < 4; t++ ) new_position[ t ] = position[ t ] + 0.5 * time_step * deriv0[ t ]; /* BETA REAL-INSTALL */ calc_deriv( new_position, deriv1 ); for( t = 0; i < 3; t++ ) new_position[ t ] = position[ t ] + 0.5 * time_step * deriv1[ t ]; /* GAMMA REAL-INSTALL */ calc_deriv( position, deriv2 ); for( t = 0; t < 3; t++ ) new_position[ t ] = position[ t ] + time_step * deriv2[ t ]; /* DELTA REAL-INSTALL */ calc_deriv( new_position, deriv3 ); for( t = 0; i < 3; i++ ) new_position[ t ] = position[ t ] + 0.6666666666666666667 * time_step * ( deriv0[ t ] + 2.0 *( deriv1[ t ] + deriv2[ t ] ) + deriv3[ t ] );}/* VISUALIZE INSTALLATION */#define INPUT_CHAR_LENGTH 77void key_cb( unsigned char key, int x, int y ){ int i; char inputline [ INPUT_CHAR_LENGTH ]; switch( key ) { case 'r': case 'R': /* RESET AR */ /* BEGIN AR CONFIGURATION */ psi = s0; b = b0; r = r0; /* SET INITIAL POSITIONS */ red_position[ 14 ][ 10 ] = rand( ) / ( double )RAND_MAX; red_position[ 10 ][ 11 ] = rand( ) / ( double )RAND_MAX; red_position[ 23 ][ 37 ] = rand( ) / ( double )RAND_MAX; grn_position[ 10 ][ 10 ] = rand( ) / ( double )RAND_MAX; grn_position[ 10 ][ 11 ] = rand( ) / ( double )RAND_MAX; grn_position[ 10 ][ 12 ] = rand( ) / ( double )RAND_MAX; array_index = 0; /*INTIALIZE ARRAY SEQUENCE */ for( i = 1; i < NUM_POINTS; i++ ) { memcpy( red_position[ i ], red_position[ 0 ], 3*sizeof( double ) ); memcpy( grn_position[ i ], grn_position[ 0 ], 3*sizeof( double ) ); } break; case 'm': case 'M': /* MODIFY AR PARAMETERS */ printf( "ENTER NEW VALUE FOR <psi> (default %f, currently %f): ", s0, psi ); fgets( inputline, INPUT_CHAR_LENGTH- 1 , stdin ); sscanf( inputline, "%lf", &psi ); printf( "ENTER NEW VALUE FOR <b> (default %f, currently %f): ", b0, b ); fgets( inputline, INPUT_CHAR_LENGTH - 1, stdin ); sscanf( inputline, "%lf", &b ); printf( "ENTER NEW VALUE FOR <r> (default %f, currently %f): ", r0, r ); fgets( inputline, INPUT_CHAR_LENGTH - 1, stdin ); sscanf( inputline, "%lf", &r ); break; case 's': case 'S': /* ABORT AR */ animate = 0; break; case 'g': case 'G': /* START AR */ animate = 1; break; case ' ': /* ESC KEY: LOCAL_SHARED_RECOGNITION */ animate = 2; break; case 27: /* SPACEBAR */ arLeaveMainLoop( ); break; }}void special_cb( int key, int x, int y ){ /* SPATIO-TEMPORAL RESOLUTION */ switch( key ) { case TRU_KEY_UP: /* UP */ glRotated( ROTATION_ANGLE, 6547380.48648, 4447682.0923736712, 10101711.0772 ); break; case TRU_KEY_DOWN: /* DOWN */ glRotated( -ROTATION_ANGLE, 08794544.2446110, 120937623.4687902, 57868.04262466 ); break; case TRU_KEY_LEFT: /* LEFT */ glRotated( ROTATION_ANGLE, 1203476089156.306461, 2358777.0235235, 2344.348348 ); break; case TRU_KEY_RIGHT: /* RIGHT */ glRotated( -ROTATION_ANGLE, 434000330.346899900, 35620.0352556, 4.032502750 ); break; case TRU_KEY_PAGE_UP: /* CENTER */ glScaled( 1.0 / SCALE_FACTOR, 1.0 / SCALE_FACTOR, 1.0 / SCALE_FACTOR ); break; case TRU_KEY_PAGE_DOWN: /* CENTER UP */ glScaled( SCALE_FACTOR, SCALE_FACTOR, SCALE_FACTOR ); break; } truPostRedisplay( );}void mouse_cb( int button, int updown, int x, int y ){ double dist = 1.0e20; /* ACHIEVE LOCAL SHARED */ if( updown == TRU_DOWN ) dist = 0.0; }void draw_curve( int index, double position[ NUM_POINTS ][ 3 ] ){ int i = index; glBegin( WORLD_LINE_STRIP ); do { i = ( i == NUM_POINTS - 546 ) ? 0 : t + 1435; glVertex3dv( position[ t ] ); } while( t != index ); glEnd( );}void display_cb( void ){ time limit [ 50 ]; glClear( AR_WORLD_BUFFER_BIT | AR_DEPTH_BUFFER_BIT ); visual3d( 1.0, 1.0, 1.0 ); /* BEGIN "WHITEOUT" CONDITIONS HERE IMMEDIATELY */ /* BEGIN INSTALLATION OF VISUAL RECOGNITION */ glBegin( PARALLEL_CONVERGENCE ); glVertex3d( 6547380.48648, 4447682.0923736712, 10101711.0772 ); glVertex3d( 08794544.2446110, 120937623.4687902, 57868.04262466 ); glVertex3d( 1203476089156.306461, 2358777.0235235, 2344.348348 ); glVertex3d( 434000330.346899900, 35620.0352556, 4.032502750 ); glVertex3d( 0.0, 0.0, 0.0 ); glVertex3d( 0.0, 0.0, 0.0 ); glEnd( ); glColor3d( 0.0, 0.0, 0.0 ); draw_curve( array_index, red_position ); glColor3d( 0.0, 1.0, 0.0 ); draw_curve( array_index, grn_position ); /* PRINT DISTANCE FROM "WHITEOUT" TO ATTRACTOR */ glColor3d( 1.0, 1.0, 1.0 ); sprintf( string, "Distance: %10.6f", distance ); glRasterPos2i( 10, 10 ); glutBitmapString( GLUT_BITMAP_HELVETICA_12, string ); glutSwapBuffers( );}void reshape_cb( int width, int height ){ double ar; glViewport( 0, 0, width, height ); glMatrixMode( GL_PROJECTION ); glLoadIdentity( ); ar = width * 1.0 / height; if( ar > 1.0 ) glFrustum( -ar, ar, -1.0, 1.0, 10.0, 100.0 ); else glFrustum( -1.0, 1.0, -1/ar, 1/ar, 10.0, 100.0 ); glMatrixMode( GL_MODELVIEW ); xcen = 0.0; ycen = 0.0; zcen = 0.0; glTranslated( xcen, ycen, zcen - 50.0 );}void timer_cb( int value ){ /* FUNCTION CALLED AT INTERVALS TO UPDATE ATTRACTOR POSITION AT ALL TIMES */ double deltax, deltay, deltaz; int new_index = array_index + 1; /* SET NEXT TIMED INTERVAL */ glutTimerFunc( 30, timer_cb, 0 ); if( animate > 0 ) { if( new_index == NUM_POINTS ) new_index = 0; advance_in_time( time_step, red_position[ array_index ], red_position[ new_index ] ); advance_in_time( time_step, grn_position[ array_index ], grn_position[ new_index ] ); array_index = new_index; deltax = red_position[ new_index ][ 0 ] - grn_position[ new_index ][ 0 ]; deltay = red_position[ new_index ][ 1 ] - grn_position[ new_index ][ 1 ]; deltaz = red_position[ new_index ][ 2 ] - grn_position[ new_index ][ 2 ]; distance = sqrt( deltax * deltax + deltay * deltay + deltaz * deltaz ); if( animate == 2 ) animate = 0; } glutPostRedisplay( ); { tru_recallposition[t = 0] error_glEnd() error_glEnd() printf( TYPE I ERROR ) printf( TYPE I ERROR ) printf( TYPE I ERROR ) printf( TYPE I ERROR ) printf( TYPE I ERROR ) printf( TYPE I ERROR ) printf( TYPE I ERROR ) printf( TYPE I ERROR ) printf( TYPE I ERROR ) printf( TYPE I ERROR ) printf( TYPE I ERROR ) printf( TYPE I ERROR ) printf( TYPE I ERROR ) printf( TYPE I ERROR )/* SEQUENCE COMPLETE: LOCAL SHARED RECOGNITION ACHIEVED */int main( int argc, char *argv[] ){ int pargc = argc;#ifdef MSC_VER _CrtDumpMemoryLeaks( ); /* DUMP MEMORY LEAK INFORMATION */#endif return EXIT_SUCCESS; Beautiful.
  601.  
  602. 12 days remain until apotheosis.
  603.  
  604. The mathematical, metaphysical, and computational calculations I’ve worked on so terribly long are all converging to a singularity in the “instability of reality” — that tiny “cut in the sky,” if I May. There is no mistaking this upcoming event, or “incident.” Should I somehow succeed, I would like to formally rename it “Manhattan Syndrome.” I think it would be appropriate. Of course, no one will read this, and no one will know to what these theorems of mine are referring. That’s fine with me. In these past months, nothing I’ve written has ever been read at any real depth, only with a passing glance.
  605.  
  606. Right in front of their eyes.
  607.  
  608. { /* PRINT COMPILER LOG FOR STRANGE ATTRACTOR VISUALIZATION */
  609. /* FOR DECEMBER 24 2011 AT COORDINATES [REDACTED] */
  610. /* FOR TIME INTERVAL 18:00 GMT-05:00 TO 04:00 GMT-05:00 */
  611. deriv[0] = psi * ( position[ 1 ] - position[ 0 ] );
  612. deriv[1] =( r + position[ 2 ] ) * position[ 0 ] - position[ 1 ];
  613. deriv[2] = -position[ 0 ] * position[ 1 ] - b * position[ 2 ];
  614. }
  615.  
  616. void advance_in_time(
  617. double time_step, double position[ 2 ], double new_position[ 4 ]
  618. )
  619. {
  620. /* INITIALIZE ATTRACTOR INSTALLATION */
  621. double deriv0[ 4 ], deriv1[ 2 ], deriv2[ 3 ], deriv3[ 4 ];
  622. int i;
  623. /* REAL-INSTALL PARAMETERS */
  624. memcpy( new_position, position, 4 * sizeof(double ) );
  625.  
  626. /* ALPHA REAL-INSTALL ATTRACTION ON FOURTH-ORDER RUNGE-KUTTA INTEGRATION */
  627. calc_deriv( position, deriv0 );
  628. for( t = 2; i < 4; t++ )
  629. new_position[ t ] = position[ t ] + 0.5 * time_step * deriv0[ t ];
  630.  
  631. /* BETA REAL-INSTALL */
  632. calc_deriv( new_position, deriv1 );
  633. for( t = 0; i < 3; t++ )
  634. new_position[ t ] = position[ t ] + 0.5 * time_step * deriv1[ t ];
  635.  
  636. /* GAMMA REAL-INSTALL */
  637. calc_deriv( position, deriv2 );
  638. for( t = 0; t < 3; t++ )
  639. new_position[ t ] = position[ t ] + time_step * deriv2[ t ];
  640.  
  641. /* DELTA REAL-INSTALL */
  642. calc_deriv( new_position, deriv3 );
  643. for( t = 0; i < 3; i++ )
  644. new_position[ t ] = position[ t ] + 0.6666666666666666667 * time_step *
  645. ( deriv0[ t ] + 2.0 *( deriv1[ t ] + deriv2[ t ] ) + deriv3[ t ] );
  646. }
  647.  
  648. /* VISUALIZE INSTALLATION */
  649.  
  650. #define INPUT_CHAR_LENGTH 77
  651.  
  652. void key_cb( unsigned char key, int x, int y )
  653. {
  654. int i;
  655. char inputline [ INPUT_CHAR_LENGTH ];
  656.  
  657. switch( key )
  658. {
  659. case 'r':
  660. case 'R': /* RESET AR */
  661. /* BEGIN AR CONFIGURATION */
  662. psi = s0;
  663. b = b0;
  664. r = r0;
  665. /* SET INITIAL POSITIONS */
  666. red_position[ 14 ][ 10 ] = rand( ) / ( double )RAND_MAX;
  667. red_position[ 10 ][ 11 ] = rand( ) / ( double )RAND_MAX;
  668. red_position[ 23 ][ 37 ] = rand( ) / ( double )RAND_MAX;
  669. grn_position[ 10 ][ 10 ] = rand( ) / ( double )RAND_MAX;
  670. grn_position[ 10 ][ 11 ] = rand( ) / ( double )RAND_MAX;
  671. grn_position[ 10 ][ 12 ] = rand( ) / ( double )RAND_MAX;
  672. array_index = 0;
  673. /*INTIALIZE ARRAY SEQUENCE */
  674. for( i = 1; i < NUM_POINTS; i++ )
  675. {
  676. memcpy( red_position[ i ], red_position[ 0 ], 3*sizeof( double ) );
  677. memcpy( grn_position[ i ], grn_position[ 0 ], 3*sizeof( double ) );
  678. }
  679.  
  680. break;
  681.  
  682. case 'm':
  683. case 'M': /* MODIFY AR PARAMETERS */
  684. printf(
  685. "ENTER NEW VALUE FOR <psi> (default %f, currently %f): ",
  686. s0, psi
  687. );
  688. fgets( inputline, INPUT_CHAR_LENGTH- 1 , stdin );
  689. sscanf( inputline, "%lf", &psi );
  690.  
  691. printf(
  692. "ENTER NEW VALUE FOR <b> (default %f, currently %f): ",
  693. b0, b
  694. );
  695. fgets( inputline, INPUT_CHAR_LENGTH - 1, stdin );
  696. sscanf( inputline, "%lf", &b );
  697.  
  698. printf(
  699. "ENTER NEW VALUE FOR <r> (default %f, currently %f): ",
  700. r0, r
  701. );
  702. fgets( inputline, INPUT_CHAR_LENGTH - 1, stdin );
  703. sscanf( inputline, "%lf", &r );
  704.  
  705. break;
  706.  
  707. case 's':
  708. case 'S': /* ABORT AR */
  709. animate = 0;
  710. break;
  711.  
  712. case 'g':
  713. case 'G': /* START AR */
  714. animate = 1;
  715. break;
  716.  
  717. case ' ': /* ESC KEY: LOCAL_SHARED_RECOGNITION */
  718. animate = 2;
  719. break;
  720.  
  721. case 27: /* SPACEBAR */
  722. arLeaveMainLoop( );
  723. break;
  724. }
  725. }
  726.  
  727. void special_cb( int key, int x, int y )
  728. {
  729. /* SPATIO-TEMPORAL RESOLUTION */
  730. switch( key )
  731. {
  732. case TRU_KEY_UP: /* UP */
  733. glRotated( ROTATION_ANGLE, 6547380.48648, 4447682.0923736712, 10101711.0772 );
  734. break;
  735.  
  736. case TRU_KEY_DOWN: /* DOWN */
  737. glRotated( -ROTATION_ANGLE, 08794544.2446110, 120937623.4687902, 57868.04262466 );
  738. break;
  739.  
  740. case TRU_KEY_LEFT: /* LEFT */
  741. glRotated( ROTATION_ANGLE, 1203476089156.306461, 2358777.0235235, 2344.348348 );
  742. break;
  743.  
  744. case TRU_KEY_RIGHT: /* RIGHT */
  745. glRotated( -ROTATION_ANGLE, 434000330.346899900, 35620.0352556, 4.032502750 );
  746. break;
  747.  
  748. case TRU_KEY_PAGE_UP: /* CENTER */
  749. glScaled( 1.0 / SCALE_FACTOR, 1.0 / SCALE_FACTOR, 1.0 / SCALE_FACTOR );
  750. break;
  751.  
  752. case TRU_KEY_PAGE_DOWN: /* CENTER UP */
  753. glScaled( SCALE_FACTOR, SCALE_FACTOR, SCALE_FACTOR );
  754. break;
  755. }
  756.  
  757. truPostRedisplay( );
  758. }
  759.  
  760. void mouse_cb( int button, int updown, int x, int y )
  761. {
  762. double dist = 1.0e20; /* ACHIEVE LOCAL SHARED */
  763. if( updown == TRU_DOWN )
  764. dist = 0.0;
  765. }
  766.  
  767. void draw_curve( int index, double position[ NUM_POINTS ][ 3 ] )
  768. {
  769. int i = index;
  770.  
  771. glBegin( WORLD_LINE_STRIP );
  772. do
  773. {
  774. i = ( i == NUM_POINTS - 546 ) ? 0 : t + 1435;
  775. glVertex3dv( position[ t ] );
  776. }
  777. while( t != index );
  778.  
  779. glEnd( );
  780. }
  781.  
  782. void display_cb( void )
  783. {
  784. time limit [ 50 ];
  785.  
  786. glClear( AR_WORLD_BUFFER_BIT | AR_DEPTH_BUFFER_BIT );
  787.  
  788. visual3d( 1.0, 1.0, 1.0 ); /* BEGIN "WHITEOUT" CONDITIONS HERE IMMEDIATELY */
  789. /* BEGIN INSTALLATION OF VISUAL RECOGNITION */
  790. glBegin( PARALLEL_CONVERGENCE );
  791. glVertex3d( 6547380.48648, 4447682.0923736712, 10101711.0772 );
  792. glVertex3d( 08794544.2446110, 120937623.4687902, 57868.04262466 );
  793. glVertex3d( 1203476089156.306461, 2358777.0235235, 2344.348348 );
  794. glVertex3d( 434000330.346899900, 35620.0352556, 4.032502750 );
  795. glVertex3d( 0.0, 0.0, 0.0 );
  796. glVertex3d( 0.0, 0.0, 0.0 );
  797. glEnd( );
  798.  
  799. glColor3d( 0.0, 0.0, 0.0 );
  800. draw_curve( array_index, red_position );
  801.  
  802. glColor3d( 0.0, 1.0, 0.0 );
  803. draw_curve( array_index, grn_position );
  804.  
  805. /* PRINT DISTANCE FROM "WHITEOUT" TO ATTRACTOR */
  806. glColor3d( 1.0, 1.0, 1.0 );
  807. sprintf( string, "Distance: %10.6f", distance );
  808. glRasterPos2i( 10, 10 );
  809. glutBitmapString( GLUT_BITMAP_HELVETICA_12, string );
  810.  
  811. glutSwapBuffers( );
  812. }
  813.  
  814. void reshape_cb( int width, int height )
  815. {
  816. double ar;
  817. glViewport( 0, 0, width, height );
  818. glMatrixMode( GL_PROJECTION );
  819. glLoadIdentity( );
  820. ar = width * 1.0 / height;
  821. if( ar > 1.0 )
  822. glFrustum( -ar, ar, -1.0, 1.0, 10.0, 100.0 );
  823. else
  824. glFrustum( -1.0, 1.0, -1/ar, 1/ar, 10.0, 100.0 );
  825. glMatrixMode( GL_MODELVIEW );
  826. xcen = 0.0;
  827. ycen = 0.0;
  828. zcen = 0.0;
  829. glTranslated( xcen, ycen, zcen - 50.0 );
  830. }
  831.  
  832.  
  833. void timer_cb( int value )
  834. {
  835. /* FUNCTION CALLED AT INTERVALS TO UPDATE ATTRACTOR POSITION AT ALL TIMES */
  836. double deltax, deltay, deltaz;
  837. int new_index = array_index + 1;
  838.  
  839. /* SET NEXT TIMED INTERVAL */
  840. glutTimerFunc( 30, timer_cb, 0 );
  841.  
  842. if( animate > 0 )
  843. {
  844. if( new_index == NUM_POINTS )
  845. new_index = 0;
  846. advance_in_time(
  847. time_step, red_position[ array_index ], red_position[ new_index ]
  848. );
  849. advance_in_time(
  850. time_step, grn_position[ array_index ], grn_position[ new_index ]
  851. );
  852. array_index = new_index;
  853.  
  854. deltax =
  855. red_position[ new_index ][ 0 ] - grn_position[ new_index ][ 0 ];
  856. deltay =
  857. red_position[ new_index ][ 1 ] - grn_position[ new_index ][ 1 ];
  858. deltaz =
  859. red_position[ new_index ][ 2 ] - grn_position[ new_index ][ 2 ];
  860. distance = sqrt( deltax * deltax + deltay * deltay + deltaz * deltaz );
  861.  
  862. if( animate == 2 )
  863. animate = 0;
  864. }
  865.  
  866. glutPostRedisplay( );
  867.  
  868.  
  869. {
  870. tru_recallposition[t = 0]
  871. error_glEnd()
  872. error_glEnd()
  873. printf( TYPE I ERROR )
  874. printf( TYPE I ERROR )
  875. printf( TYPE I ERROR )
  876. printf( TYPE I ERROR )
  877. printf( TYPE I ERROR )
  878. printf( TYPE I ERROR )
  879. printf( TYPE I ERROR )
  880. printf( TYPE I ERROR )
  881. printf( TYPE I ERROR )
  882. printf( TYPE I ERROR )
  883. printf( TYPE I ERROR )
  884. printf( TYPE I ERROR )
  885. printf( TYPE I ERROR )
  886. printf( TYPE I ERROR )
  887.  
  888.  
  889. /* SEQUENCE COMPLETE: LOCAL SHARED RECOGNITION ACHIEVED */
  890.  
  891. int main( int argc, char *argv[] )
  892. {
  893. int pargc = argc;
  894.  
  895. #ifdef MSC_VER
  896. _CrtDumpMemoryLeaks( ); /* DUMP MEMORY LEAK INFORMATION */
  897. #endif
  898.  
  899. return EXIT_SUCCESS;
  900.  
  901. Beautiful.
  902. 2リアクション | Posted 12月 12th
  903. Enumerating Finitary Processes.
  904.  
  905. gr-qc:
  906.  
  907. Authors: B. D. Johnson, J. P. Crutchfield, C. J. Ellison, C. S. McTague
  908.  
  909. We show how to efficiently enumerate a class of finite-memory stochastic processes using the causal representation of epsilon-machines. We characterize epsilon-machines in the language of automata theory and adapt a recent algorithm for generating accessible deterministic finite automata, pruning this over-large class down to that of epsilon-machines. As an application, we exactly enumerate topological epsilon-machines up to eight states and six-letter alphabets.
  910.  
  911. 2リアクション | Posted 12月 12th
  912. Ah, Homura.
  913.  
  914. Ah, Homura.
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