Jack/Cade - Entry

[20:58] <shootdawhoop99> ==START==
[20:58]  * Cade_Miller is eating a very delicious burrito. Probably the second best he's ever had in his life.
[20:58] <shootdawhoop99> Just as soon as you enter Mira's handle, you feel a presence watching
[20:59] <shootdawhoop99> With Jack near his computer and Mr. Garrett nearby, Jack's computer makes a loud pinging noise
[20:59] <shootdawhoop99> "My word, what was that?"
[20:59] <Jack_Mercer> "Not sure, let me check." I look at the computer.
[20:59] <Cade_Miller> !roll 1d20+2 insight to understand this presence
[20:59] <Tyche[Dice]> Cade_Miller rolled : 1d20+2 insight to understand this presence --> [ 1d20=18 ]{20}
[21:00] <Cade_Miller> ((you don't actually have to answer that; I'm just goofing off))
[21:00] <shootdawhoop99> It's like a game has activated with your life in danger
[21:00] <shootdawhoop99> You check the computer, which shows a space quite like your house
[21:00] <shootdawhoop99> Someone who looks like Cade is standing there, eating a burrito
[21:01] <Cade_Miller> Cade understands the import of the situation.
[21:01] <Cade_Miller> Then forgets it. What a card!
[21:01] <Jack_Mercer> "Oh great, looks like it's Cade's turn in this horrible machine."
[21:01] <Jack_Mercer> I sit down at the computer and start sending him a message.
[21:01] <Jack_Mercer> NF: Hey, Cade, put down your burrito and listen to me very carefully.
[21:02] <Cade_Miller> DB: muh?
[21:02] <shootdawhoop99> There are a set of buttons that appear on the screen, the phernalia registry being the name you recognize in the top-left
[21:03] <Jack_Mercer> NF: I need you to perform a series on inane tasks which when put together will teleport you to a possibly life threatening extra terrestrial location where you're gonna help me conquer a group of goat cultists.
[21:03] <Jack_Mercer> ((Shit, NF should be NM, I don't know why I'm doing that))
[21:03] <Cade_Miller> DB: I don't understand half of that, but okay!
[21:03] <Cade_Miller> DB: Shoot. Lets be henchmen.
[21:03] <Jack_Mercer> I start dropping the machines down around the house.
[21:03] <Cade_Miller> "Muh?"
[21:04] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Nice to see you being so gung-ho about henchmanning for once!
[21:04] <Cade_Miller> DB: Well, burritos put me in a good mood.
[21:04] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Alright, you see that one with the wheel and a tube sticking out of it? It's called an alchemiter, and you're gonna need to find some way to open it.
[21:04] <shootdawhoop99> You place down the alchemiter, the punch designtrix, a pre-punched card, a totem lathe, and a cruxtruder
[21:05] <Jack_Mercer> Cruxtruder*
[21:05] <shootdawhoop99> (I was about to say)
[21:05] <Jack_Mercer> ((Goddamit, I'm a mess with the words things tonight))
[21:05] <Cade_Miller> DB: Open something? Okay.
[21:05] <Cade_Miller> Cade draws his pistol, and shoots at the cruxtruder a few times. Tinnitus sure is great!
[21:06] <shootdawhoop99> The shots ricochet off of the tough exterior
[21:06] <Jack_Mercer> I smack my face with my hand. I don't know what I was expecting.
[21:06] <Jack_Mercer> NM: I was more just meaning you should turn the wheel.
[21:06] <Cade_Miller> DB: Looks I need a grenade.
[21:06] <shootdawhoop99> One of the shots hits the central light, ecompassing you in darkness
[21:07] <Cade_Miller> DB: Where did those blasted things go, anyway?
[21:07] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Goddamit, don't use a grenade in the house, Cade!
[21:07] <shootdawhoop99> encompassing*
[21:07] <Cade_Miller> DB: Awww...
[21:07] <Cade_Miller> Okay, so, darkness isn't too big of a deal. Cade procures his cigarette lighter and uses it as a makeshift candle.
[21:08] <shootdawhoop99> You can see pretty well with the lighter
[21:08] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Alright, try turning the wheel.
[21:08] <Cade_Miller> Cade does so, setting the zippo upright on a nearby table.
[21:08] <Cade_Miller> And then turns the wheel
[21:08] <shootdawhoop99> Roll for athletics
[21:09] <Cade_Miller> !roll 1d20+1 athletics, and to be surprised I didn't dump strength this time.
[21:09] <Tyche[Dice]> Cade_Miller rolled : 1d20+1 athletics, and to be surprised I didn't dump strength this time. --> [ 1d20=18 ]{19}
[21:10] <shootdawhoop99> With a mighty turn, the lid pops off and a piece of cruxite shoots out along with a strange glowing orb
[21:10] <Cade_Miller> "HEYOOOOOOH!" Ed McMahon would be proud.
[21:10] <Cade_Miller> DB: So what do I do with these things?
[21:11] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Alright, that glowing thing is some sort of "super force of good" according to Ikki, try giving it something to assimilate, I think if you do it recognizes you as the "player" and will protect you.
[21:11] <Cade_Miller> DB: Huh.
[21:11] <Cade_Miller> Let's see... Cade evaluates his surroundings. What's around?
[21:12] <Cade_Miller> Oh, he knows.
[21:12] <Cade_Miller> He pulls out a single rifle bullet.
[21:12] <Cade_Miller> Then throws it at the orb.
[21:14] <shootdawhoop99> The orb accepts the bullets, and takes the form of a body with the head of a bullet
[21:14] <shootdawhoop99> Say hello to bulletsprite
[21:14] <Jack_Mercer> "Well, at least it wasn't something stupid like a cigarette."
[21:14] <Cade_Miller> "Welp. That's weird. Kinda regret doing that." ((I heard that, jackass.))
[21:14] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Alright, that's done with, now grab that cylinder over there and the prepunched card.
[21:14] <Cade_Miller> Cade does so, giving bulletsprite a wide berth.
[21:16] <shootdawhoop99> You now have the cruxite and the pre-punched card
[21:16] <Jack_Mercer> NM: You're gonna put the cylinder in the lathe thing, and you're gonna put the card in its slot.
[21:16] <Cade_Miller> DB: Huh.
[21:16] <Cade_Miller> Cade does so, not questioning Jack, cause that would be uncharacteristic of him.
[21:17] <shootdawhoop99> The lathe carves the cruxite, barely touching it at all
[21:17] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Alright, once it carves it, you'll put the carved dowel onto the little pad over on the alchemiter, which is the thing with a little raised pad and the big pad on the bottom.
[21:17] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Huh, mine looked a lot weirder than yours.
[21:18] <Cade_Miller> DB: Should I be disappointed?
[21:18] <Jack_Mercer> NM: I have absolutely no clue, maybe it means you'll have an easier time than me?
[21:19] <Cade_Miller> DB: Gee, I hope so!
[21:19] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Anyways, go put it on the thing.
[21:19] <Cade_Miller> Cade puts the dowel on the little pad over on the alchemiter, which is the thing with a little raised pad and the big pad on the bottom.
[21:20] <shootdawhoop99> With a bright flash of light, a red tinted light bulb appears
[21:20] <Jack_Mercer> NM: A light bulb?
[21:20] <Cade_Miller> "Ah, right. The lights are out. How helpful!"
[21:21] <shootdawhoop99> A timer starts on the cruxtruder
[21:21] <shootdawhoop99> 1 minute
[21:21] <Jack_Mercer> NM: I got a flag, I wonder if these things have any significance.
[21:21] <Cade_Miller> Cade grabs the lighter, and heads for the broken light.
[21:21] <Cade_Miller> DB: Ach, I'm gonna cut myself on this, aren't I?
[21:21] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Anyways, that timer over there's probably ticking down to something bad. I had to tear my flag, so try breaking that bulb.
[21:21] <shootdawhoop99> You are out of reach of the light
[21:22] <Cade_Miller> Cade does as Boss says, and attempts to break the lightbulb.
[21:22] <shootdawhoop99> The bulb bounces off of the ground with not even a scratch on it
[21:23] <Cade_Miller> "Huh." Cade puts it over his head stupidly, seeing if it goes off when he gets an idea.
[21:23] <Jack_Mercer> "Huh?" I look over at the timer.
[21:23] <shootdawhoop99> 30 seconds
[21:24] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Cade, are you seriously holding the lightbulb over your head like in a cartoon?
[21:24] <Cade_Miller> DB: Yup. Figured it'd help me think.
[21:24] <Cade_Miller> DB: It's... not working.
[21:24] <shootdawhoop99> The broken bulb fizzes
[21:24] <Cade_Miller> Cade finds a lamp. He loves lamps.
[21:24] <Jack_Mercer> NM: Well, you tried, and that's what's- wait, is it working?
[21:24] <shootdawhoop99> You see a lamp on a desk
[21:25] <Cade_Miller> Cade carefully exchanges the two bulbs.
[21:25] <Cade_Miller> Then turns on the lamp.
[21:25] <shootdawhoop99> The red tinted bulb works like a charm, and instead of emitting a red light, you find your vision turning to white
[21:26] <shootdawhoop99> You feel the house moving around you and your vision returns back to the house
[21:26] <Cade_Miller> Cade *would* send a message asking if Jack's vision is *also* turning to white, but his vision is simply too white for that to happen! What a tragedy!
[21:26] <shootdawhoop99> It looks normal
[21:26] <Jack_Mercer> I pan the camera out to look at the area around the house.
[21:26] <shootdawhoop99> Without warning, an explosive round takes out the roof of the house
[21:26] <shootdawhoop99> The sky is blood red and smoke is everywhere
[21:27] <Jack_Mercer> NM: JESUS FUCK!
[21:27] <Cade_Miller> Cade dives for cover, just like in the military training he's sure he had at one point in his life but forgot about.
[21:27] <Cade_Miller> DB: Good grief, Jack! No need for such language!
[21:27] <Cade_Miller> DB: It's just a warzone. Nothing to be upset about.
[21:27] <shootdawhoop99> Through the monitor, you see anthropomorphic cats in trenches, firing guns and lobbing grenades at each other
[21:28] <Cade_Miller> ((Oh, I'm gonna like this land, aren't I?))
[21:28] <Jack_Mercer> NM: ARE YOU INSANE, IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING WARZONE, THAT'S PLENTY TO BE UPSET ABOUT!
[21:28] <shootdawhoop99> Luckily, the house is off to the side of the battlefield
[21:28] <Cade_Miller> DB: C'mon, man. It's a warzone. I'm pretty sure I've trained for this before.
[21:28] <Cade_Miller> DB: Probably.
[21:28] <Jack_Mercer> NM: THERE'S CAT PEOPLE KILLING EACH OTHER LEFT AND RIGHT!
[21:28] <Cade_Miller> DB: Oh. Cool!
[21:28] <shootdawhoop99> The cats are dressed in different clothing, some in uniform, and others in civilian
[21:29] <shootdawhoop99> All of it is steampunk
[21:29] <Cade_Miller> Cade steps out to get a look for himself, lighting a cigarette and feeling terribly like Big Boss as he does so.
[21:29] <Jack_Mercer> NM: STEAMPUNK CAT PEOPLE!
[21:29] <shootdawhoop99> Welcome to the Land of War and Steam
[21:29] <Cade_Miller> Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh shit homie.
[21:29] <shootdawhoop99> ==END==