Slow & Steady Restricted Items

Items

"DRINK ME" potion, "Humorous" T-shirt, 'Smuggler Shot First' Button, 1.21 jigawatts, 1/6th Pound Cake, 4:20 bomb, 100-Watt bulb, A. W. O. L. commendation, A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes, A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes (used), Acqua Del Piatto Merlot, Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet, A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1, A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used), A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2, A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 (used), A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3, A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used), A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4, A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used), A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5, A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used), A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6, A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 (used), a cute angel, a dance upon the palate, adhesive tape dolly, Admiral's hat, affordable teak perch, agua de vida, albatross necklace, Alice's Army Alchemist, Alice's Army booster box, Alice's Army Bowman, Alice's Army Cleric, Alice's Army Coward, Alice's Army Dervish, Alice's Army Foil Alchemist, Alice's Army Foil Bowman, Alice's Army Foil Cleric, Alice's Army Foil Coward, Alice's Army Foil Dervish, Alice's Army Foil Guard, Alice's Army Foil Halberder, Alice's Army Foil Hammerman, Alice's Army Foil Horseman, Alice's Army Foil Lanceman, Alice's Army Foil Mad Bomber, Alice's Army Foil Martyr, Alice's Army Foil Ninja, Alice's Army Foil Nurse, Alice's Army Foil Page, Alice's Army Foil Shieldmaiden, Alice's Army Foil Sniper, Alice's Army Foil Spearsman, Alice's Army Foil Swordsman, Alice's Army Foil tattoo, Alice's Army Foil Wallman, Alice's Army Guard, Alice's Army Halberder, Alice's Army Hammerman, Alice's Army Horseman, Alice's Army Lanceman, Alice's Army Mad Bomber, Alice's Army Martyr, Alice's Army Ninja, Alice's Army Nurse, Alice's Army Page, Alice's Army Shieldmaiden, Alice's Army Sniper, Alice's Army Spearsman, Alice's Army Swordsman, Alice's Army Wallman, all-year sucker, ammonite candy mold, ammonite fossil, Amulet of Yendor, ancient stone fist, ancient stone head, ancient unspeakable fruitcake, antique 8-Bit Power magazine, antique bottle opener, antique painting of a landscape, antique pair of blue jeans, antique record album, antique souvenir drawing, Apathargic Bandersnatch, archaeologing shovel, arrowgram, arse-a'fire elixir, aspirin, astral badger, astral mushroom, astronaut ice-cream, astronaut pants, Atomic Comic, atomic vector plotter, Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones (used), Ax of L'rose, bacon bath ball, badass pie, badger badge, Bag o' Tricks, bag of airline peanuts, bag of bones, bag of many confections, ball, ball-in-a-cup, banana, banana-frosted king cake, banana cream pie, banana daiquiri, bananagate, banana milkshake, banana peel, bananarama bangle, banana smoothie, banana spritzer, banana supersucker, Banfoy's Boutique Order Form, bark beret, bark boxers, Bartles and BRAAAINS wine cooler, bat-shaped Crimboween cookie, bath ball gift set, battered Crimbo Crate, beastly paste, beautiful soup, beet, begpwnia, beholed bedsheet, Beignet Milgranet, belemnite candy mold, belemnite fossil, bell-shaped Crimbo cookie, bellhop bell, best joke ever, bewitching boots, BGE 'cuddly critter' shirt, BGE 'ferocious fruit' shirt, BGE merchandise order form, BGE pocket calendar, BGE shotglass, BGE temporary tattoo, BGE tiny plastic toy, bi-lateral logic compressor, Big Candy's tophat, big leaf, bindlestocking, biomechanical crimborg helmet, biomechanical crimborg leg armor, bishop cookie, bite-me-red lipstick, bitter bowtie, BitterSweetTarts, black-and-blue light, black BRICKO brick, black candygram, black candy heart, black snowcone, blammer, blank fudge mold, blob-shaped Crimbo cookie, Blood 'n' Plenty, Blood Light, blue-frosted astral cupcake, blueberry-frosted king cake, blue glowstick, Blue Milk Club Card, blue plasma ball, blue plastic baby, blue raspberry troll doll, blue ribbon, blue snowcone, blue traffic cone, blunt cat claw, blunt icepick, bobble-hip hula elf doll, bobcat grenade, bodyslam, Bohemian rhapsody, Bone's Farm "wine", boneana hammock, bone and arrows, bone aperitif, bone chips, bone crusher, bonedanna, bone meal, bonerang, bone spurs, boning knife, boot plant, boozebomb, Bordeaux Marteaux, borg sock monkey, borrowed time, bottle-rocket crossbow, bottled inspiration, bottle of agitprop ink, bottle of black cat tonic, bottle of Blank-Out, bottle of bubbles, bottle of Goldschnöckered, bottle of peppermint schnapps, bottle of realpagne, bow, bowlegged pants, bowler, bow staff, boxing-glove-in-a-box, box of Familiar Jacks, box of hammers, box of Pokëmann band-aids, BRAINS shorts, brass crank handle, brazen bracelet, breaded beer, BRICKO airship, BRICKO bat, BRICKO brick, BRICKO bulwark, BRICKO cathedral, BRICKO egg, BRICKO elephant, BRICKO eye brick, BRICKO gargantuchicken, BRICKO hat, BRICKO octopus, BRICKO ooze, BRICKO oyster, BRICKO pants, BRICKO pearl, BRICKO pyramid, BRICKO python, BRICKO reactor, BRICKO sword, BRICKO trunk, BRICKO turtle, BRICKO vacuum cleaner, Bright Water, broken BRICKO brick, broken cellular phone, broken clock, broken glass grenade, bronze handcuffs, brown pixel, brown plastic baby, bucket of honey, bucket of wine, buckyball, bugged bön±Ã©t, bugged balaclava, bugged beanie, bug paste, Bulky Buddy Box, bunch of bananas, bungle in the jungle, burrowgrub hive, C.B.F.G., calle de miel with a fly in it, calm attention-deficit demon, can-can-in-a-can, Can-Can skirt, can-you-dig-it?, candied yam pinky ring, candy brain, candy cornucopia, candy kneecapping stick, candy knuckles, candy skeleton, candy stake, can of CRIMBCOLA, can of depilatory cream, can of fake snow, can of franks 'n' beans, canteen of wine, capacitor relay, carbonite visor, carbon nanotube frame, cardboard elf ear, card sleeve, cement sandals, cement shoes, Cerebral Cloche, Cerebral Crossbow, Cerebral Culottes, chainsaw chain, Chalice of the Malkovich Prince, chaos popcorn, charged magnet, cheap elven gloves, cheap plastic kazoo, cheap studded belt, cheezburger, cherry bomb, Cheshire Bitten, chitinous pod, chlorophyll paste, chocolate-covered caviar, chocolate-covered scarab beetle, chocolate-frosted king cake, chocolate bath ball, chocolate cigar, chocolate frosted sugar bomb, chocolate lump, chunk of cement, chunk of depleted Grimacite, Cinco Mayo Lager, cinnamon troll doll, circular CRIMBCOOKIE, Clan looking glass, Clan pool table, Clan shower, class five ecto-larva, Climate Colada, clock-cleaning hammer, clown hammer, club of the five seasons, coal paperweight, coffee pixie stick, coffee sprite, cold-filtered water, colored-light "necklace", colorful plastic ball, Comet Drop, Comet Pop, comfy blanket, computronic processing unit, container of Spooky Putty, control crystal, cool cat claw, cool cat elixir, cool jelly donut, correction fluid, corrupted data, cosmic lemonade, cosmic paste, cotton candy bale, cotton candy cocoon, cotton candy cone, cotton candy cordial, cotton candy pillow, cotton candy pinch, cotton candy plug, cotton candy skoshe, cotton candy smidgen, cranberry schnapps, Crazyleg's razor, creepy voodoo doll, Crepes a la Lune, CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1), CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) (used), CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2), CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used), CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3), CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) (used), CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4), CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used), CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5), CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) (used), CRIMBCOIDS mints, CRIMBCO lanyard, CRIMBCOLOAF, CRIMBCO mug, CRIMBCO scrip, CRIMBCO wine, Crimbo candied pecan, Crimbo Candy Cookbook, crimbo elfling, Crimbo fudge, Crimbo hat, Crimbomination Contraption, Crimbo P. R. E. S. S. I. E., Crimbo pants, Crimbo paste, Crimbo peppermint bark, Crimbo pressie, Crimbo stocking, Crimbo sword, Crimbough, Crimbo ukulele, Crimboween memo, Crimbo wreath, Crimbuck, croquet hedgehog, Crown of Thrones, crystal skull, cupcake-in-a-cup, cursed scrunchie, cyber-mattock, cyborg doll, cyborg stompin' boot, cymbal syrup, d4, d6, d8, d10, d12, d20, dandy lion cub, Dark Jill-O-Lantern, Deactivated O. A. F., deactivated RoboGoose, dead lights pie, deck of tropical cards, defective skull, deflated inflatable dodecapede, delectable fire ant, delicious comfit?, delicious salad, delicious shimmering moth, delicious stinkbug, deluxe fax machine, demonic paste, dental pliers, depleted Grimacite astrolabe, depleted Grimacite grappling hook, depleted Grimacite gravy boat, depleted Grimacite hammer, depleted Grimacite kneecapping stick, depleted Grimacite ninja mask, depleted Grimacite shinguards, depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt, dethklok, detour shield, diamond-studded fronts, Dickory Farms Gift Basket, digital underground potion, dirty martini, disintegrating sheet music, disintegrating spiky collar, distention pill, divine blowout, divine can of silly string, divine champagne flute, divine champagne popper, divine cracker, divine noisemaker, DNOTC Box, Doc's Miracle Cure, dollhive, doll house, double-ice box, double-ice britches, double-ice cap, double-ice gum, dragon snaps, drum of pomade, dubious peppermint, duck-on-a-string, dungeon dragon chest, Dungeon Fist gauntlet, dusty Crimbo crate, E.M.U. harness, E.M.U. helmet, E.M.U. joystick, E.M.U. rocket thrusters, E.M.U. Unit, Ecto-Cooler, ectoplasmic paste, eggman noodles, elderly jawbreaker, electric crutch, elemental paste, elephant stinger, elf resistance button, Ellsbury's journal, Ellsbury's journal (used), Ellsbury's skull, elven limbos gingerbread, elven cellocello, elven hardtack, elven magi-pack, elven medi-pack, elven moonshine, elven socks, elven squeeze, elven suicide capsule, elven whittling knife, Elvish sunglasses, emo roe, empty agua de vida bottle, empty blowgun, escargotsicle, essence of cold, essence of cute, essence of fright, essence of heat, essence of kink, essence of stench, essential cameraderie, essential soy, essential tofu, evil flaming eyeball pendant, evil googly eye, evil teddy bear, expired bottle of peppermint schnapps, expired can of franks 'n' beans, explosion-flavored chewing gum, extra-heavy BRICKO brick, extra-see-thru nightie, extra special Crimbo stocking, extremely skinny jeans, eye of the Tiger-lily, facehugging alien, fairy-worn boots, fake fake vomit, fake hand, fake plastic grass, fancy ball mask, fancy but probably evil chocolate, fancy chocolate, fancy chocolate car, fancy dress ball, fat bottom quark, Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel, festive holiday hat, festive sausage, Feynman gate, Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy, Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy (shredded), finger cuffs, fire, fish juice box, fishy paste, flaming familiar doppelgänger, flaming juggler's balls, flamingo mallet, flaming pink shirt, Flan in the Moon, flask of Amontillado, flask of peppermint oil, flask of peppermint schnapps, flavored foot massage oil, floaty gravel, floaty pebbles, floaty rock, floaty stone sphere, fluid of fudge-finding, fluorescent lightbulb, flyest of shirts, foam dart, forbidden danish, fossilized baboon skull, fossilized bat skull, fossilized demon skull, fossilized limb, fossilized necklace, fossilized serpent skull, fossilized spider skull, fossilized spike, fossilized spine, fossilized torso, fossilized wing, fossilized wyrm skull, frigid fudgepuck, Fromage Pinotage, frosty halo, frozen danish, fudge bunny, fudge cube, fudgecule, fudgecycle, fudge lily, fudge pocket square, fudgesicle, fudge spork, Fudgie Roll, funhouse mirror, furry halo, Fuzzby, Game Grid ticket, Game Grid token, Game Grid valued membership card, gazing shoes, General Assembly Module, generic healing potion, generic mana potion, generic restorative potion, ghostly body paint, ghost protocol, ghost trap, giant book of ancient carols, giant clay ashtray, giant diamond ring, giant glass of brandy, giant green gummi bear, giant green gummi ingot, giant red gummi bear, giant red gummi ingot, giant yellow gummi bear, giant yellow gummi ingot, gift-a-pult, gilded BRICKO brick, gilded BRICKO chalice, gingerbread horror, gingerbread house, gingerbread mutant bugbear, ginormous pumpkin, glacial clock, glass of baboon milk, glimmering buzzard feather, glimmering great tit feather, glimmering penguin feather, glimmering phoenix feather, glimmering raven feather, glimmering roc feather, glob of Blank-Out, glow-in-the-dark dart gun, glow-in-the-dark stuffed burrowgrub, glow-in-the-dark wristwatch, glowing frisbee, gnashing teeth, Go-Wassail, goblin autoblowgun, goblin hunting spear, goblin paste, golden ring, Goodfella contract, gooey paste, googly-ball hat, googly-heart hat, googly-star hat, grape troll doll, grappling hook, grass blade, grass clippings, grass hat, grass skirt, graveyard snowglobe, gray bow tie, greasy paste, Great Ball of Frozen Fire, Greatest American Pants, Great S-Cape, green-frosted astral cupcake, green BRICKO brick, green candygram, green candy heart, green drunki-bear, green glowstick, green gummi ingot, green pixie spog, green snowcone, green traffic cone, Grimacite Bock, Grimacite gaiters, Grimacite galoshes, Grimacite garter, Grimacite gasmask, Grimacite gat, Grimacite gauntlets, Grimacite girdle, Grimacite glaive, Grimacite go-go boots, Grimacite goggles, Grimacite gorget, Grimacite gown, Grimacite greaves, Grimacite guayabera, grogtini, Grumpy Bumpkin's Pumpkin Seed Catalog, Gummi-DNA, gummi ammonite, gummi belemnite, gummi bowtie, gummi canary, gummi salamander, gummi snake, gummi trilobite, Gummy Brains, Gygaxian Libram, gyroscope, haiku katana, hair of the calf, half-orchid, hammerus, handful of headless bolts, handful of numbers, handful of wires, handmade hobby horse, hand turkey outline, Hanukkimbo dreidl, hardware upgrade, Haunted Sorority House staff guide, heart of dark chocolate, helm of the white knight, hemp backpack, herringcello, hi-density nylocite leg armor, hibernating robot reindeer, hideous egg, high-resistance ultrapolymer plating, hippy paste, hobo paste, holiday cheese log, holiday log, holly-flavored Hob-O, holy bomb, batman, homeless hobo spirit, homeopathic healing powder, honey-dew, house of twigs and spit, huge pumpkin, Humpty Dumplings, hungover chauvinist pig, hyperbolic plasma focuser, ice baby, iceberglet, ice pick, ice sickle, ice skates, ice stein, igloo pie, iGoogly, imitation nice watch, immense cyborg hand, incense bath ball, incredibly creepy marionette, indescribably horrible paste, Indigo Party Invitation, infant sandworm, inflatable baseball bat, Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration, Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration (crumpled), innuendo, insane tophat, interesting-looking twig, Interview With You (a Vampire), intriguing puzzle box, invisibility potion, invisible bag, ion-pulse modulation stabilizer, ion grid, irradiated candy cane, irresistibility potion, irritability potion, ittah bittah hookah, Jack-in-the-box, Jackass Plumber home game, jar of swamp gas, jawbruiser, Jekyllin hide belt, Jeppson's Malort, jerky coins, jewel-eyed wizard hat, jingle bell, jitterbug larva, joybuzzer, Juju Mojo Mask, Junior LAAAAME merit badge, kevlateflocite helmet, killer rag doll, killing feather, king cookie, kite, knight cookie, Knob Göblin lòve potion, knuckle sandwich, kobold treasure hoard, KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet, KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat, KoL Con IV Pole, kumquartz, kumquartz ring, kumquat supersucker, LARP membership card, Lars the Cyberian, laser-broiled pear, laser cannon, laser targeting chip, lavender candygram, lavender candy heart, lawnmower blade, leaf tube, leather aviator's cap, LED block, leftover Crimbo rations, lesser grodulated violet, Li'l Businessman Kit, liar's pants, Libram of BRICKOs, Libram of Candy Heart Summoning, Libram of Divine Favors, Libram of Love Songs, library card, licorice garrote, lime supersucker, lint, lit cigar, little box of fireworks, little parachute guy, live lobster, liver and let pie, live wire, llama lama cria, llama lama gong, loaded serum blowgun, Loathing Legion abacus, Loathing Legion can opener, Loathing Legion chainsaw, Loathing Legion corkscrew, Loathing Legion defibrillator, Loathing Legion double prism, Loathing Legion electric knife, Loathing Legion flamethrower, Loathing Legion hammer, Loathing Legion helicopter, Loathing Legion jackhammer, Loathing Legion kitchen sink, Loathing Legion knife, Loathing Legion many-purpose hook, Loathing Legion moondial, Loathing Legion necktie, Loathing Legion pizza stone, Loathing Legion rollerblades, Loathing Legion tape measure, Loathing Legion tattoo needle, Loathing Legion universal screwdriver, Lobos Mints, Lobster qua Grill, logic synthesizer, lollipop cufflinks, lollipop stick, Loudmouth Larry Lamprey, love song of disturbing obsession, love song of icy revenge, love song of naughty innuendo, love song of smoldering passion, love song of sugary cuteness, love song of vague ambiguity, lucky Crimbo tiki necklace, lucky Tam O'Shanter, lucky Tam O'Shatner, Lumineux Limnio, lunar isotope, machetito, mad scientist's sock monkey, Mafia bow tie, Mafia stogie, Mafia violin case, magical ice cube with a fly in it, MagiMechTech NanoMechaMech, Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir, Make-Your-Own-Vampire-Fangs kit, map to Ellsbury's Claim, map to Professor Jacking's laboratory, Map to Safety Shelter Grimace Prime, Map to Safety Shelter Ronald Prime, map to the Kegger in the Woods, map to The Landscaper's Lair, map to the Magic Commune, map to Vanya's Castle, Mariner's Friend cough drops, marionette, marionette collective, marshmallow flambé, Marvelous Unitard, Massive Manual of Marauder Mockery, mass of wriggling tentacles, Mayflower bouquet, mayfly bait necklace, McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning, meat st‰¿bing club, Mecha Mayhem Club Card, Medallion of the Ventrilo Prince, memory of a C, memory of a CA base pair, memory of a CG base pair, memory of a CT base pair, memory of a cultist's robe, memory of a G, memory of a glowing crystal, memory of a grappling hook, memory of a GT base pair, memory of a little stone block, memory of an A, memory of an AG base pair, memory of an AT base pair, memory of an iron key, memory of a small stone block, memory of a stone half-circle, memory of a T, memory of half a stone circle, memory of some delicious amino acids, menorette, Mer-kin paste, Mesmereyes™ contact lenses, metallic foil bow, metallic foil cat ears, metallic foil radar dish, metal mandible, Meteoid ice beam, microwave stogie, miniature antlers, miniature gravy-covered maypole, Miniborg beeper, Miniborg Destroy-O-Bot, Miniborg hiveminder, Miniborg laser, Miniborg stomper, Miniborg strangler, miniscule temporal rip, mint-condition magic wand, Mint-in-box Moonthril Circlet, Mint-in-box Moonthril Cuirass, Mint-in-box Moonthril Flamberge, Mint-in-box Moonthril Greaves, Mint-in-box Moonthril Longbow, Mint Salton Pepper's Peppermint Seed Catalog, mirrored aviator shades, misfit dolly, misfit hobby horse, misfit teddy bear, missing wine, mole molé, molten medallion, monomolecular yo-yo, monster pants, monstrous monocle, mood ring, Moon Pie, Moonthril Circlet, Moonthril Cuirass, Moonthril Flamberge, Moonthril Greaves, Moonthril Longbow, Moonthril Schnapps, moon unit, Morlock's Mark Bourbon, Morto Moreto, motivational poster, moveable feast, Mr. Container, Mr. Exploiter, mulled cider, multi-pass, mummy costume, munchies pill, Muschat, musty moccasins, mylar scout drone, My Own Pen Pal kit, myrrh-soaked, chocolate-covered bacon bath ball, mysterious chest, mysterious present, nanite-infested candy cane, nanite-infested eggnog, nanite-infested fruitcake, nanite-infested gingerbread bugbear, nanofiber cloth, natto-infused sake, natto marble soda, natto pocky, naughty fortune teller, naughty origami kit, naughty paper shuriken, navel ring of navel gazing, Necbro wafers, necrotizing body spray, nervous tick egg, neurostim pill, Newbiesport™ backpack, newborn kobold, night-vision goggles, Nightstalker perfume, ninja pirate zombie robot head, not-a-pipe, Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter I, Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter II, Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter III, Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter IV, Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter V, Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter VI, Now and Earlier, noxious gas grenade, NPZR chemistry set, Nuclear Blastball, obnoxious riddle, occult jelly donut, oily paste, Okee-Dokee soda, old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie, old school Mafia knicke½æ, old school Mafia knickerbockers, oozenog, Operation Patriot Shield, orange-frosted astral cupcake, orange and black Crimboween candy, orange candygram, orange candy heart, orange glowstick, orange leather lanyard, orange snowcone, orange traffic cone, orc paste, organ grinder, origami "gentlemen's" magazine, origami pasties, origami riding crop, orphan baby yeti, orquette's phone number, outrageous sombrero, overclocked avian microprocessor, oversized fish scaler, oversized snowflake, packet of mayfly bait, packet of pumpkin seeds, Pack of Alice's Army Cards, Pack of Alice's Army Foil Cards, pack of pogs, paint bomb, pair of bolt cutters, pair of pearidot earrings, pair of ragged claws, pair of twitching claws, panicked kernel, paperclip, paperclip-on tie, paperclip cape, paperclip pants, paperclip sproinger, paperclip turban, parasitic claw, parasitic headgnawer, parasitic strangleworm, parasitic tentacles, passable elf mask, passed-out psychedelic bear, patent antipsychotics, patent leather shoes, pawn cookie, peanut brittle shield, pearidot, pear supersucker, pebblebräu, penguin focaccia bread, penguin paste, penguin thesaurus, peppermint crook, peppermint parasol, peppermint patty, Peppermint Pip Packet, peppermint rhino baby, peppermint sprout, peppermint twist, perfectly ordinary frog, perpendicular hula with a fly in it, personalized coffee mug, personal massager, personal raindrop, petrified time, petrified wood, pet rock, pet rock "Groucho" disguise, pet rock "Snooty" disguise, phish stick, photocopied monster, physiostim pill, Piddles, pig-iron bracers, pig-iron helm, pig-iron shinguards, pile of loose snow, pilgrim shield, pin-stripe slacks, pink-frosted astral cupcake, pink candygram, pink candy heart, pink glowstick, pink plastic baby, piping organ pie, pirate paste, pirate zombie head, pirate zombie robot head, pixel chain whip, pixel cross, pixel holy water, pixellated moneybag, pixel morning star, pixel orb, pixel stopwatch, pixel whip, plastic bib, plastic Crimbo reindeer, plastic cup of beer, plastic pumpkin bucket, plastic spider ring, plastic vampire fangs, plate of franks and beans, plexifoam chin strap, plump juicy grub, plush alielf, plush alien hamsterpus, plush dogcat, plush ferrelf, plush hamsterpus, plush mutated alielephant, plush mutated alielf, pocketwatch on a chain, pog #01 (spider), pog #02 (Knob goblin), pog #03 (warwelf), pog #04 (skleleton), pog #05 (ninja snowman), pog #06 (filthy hippy), pog #07 (orcish frat boy), pog #08 (hellion), pog #09 (pirate), pog #10 (hobo), pog #11 (Naughty Sorceress), pointy red hat, poisonous caviar, poison pen, Pokëmann band-aid, Pokëmann figurine: Bloodkip, Pokëmann figurine: Duck, Pokëmann figurine: Frank, Pokëmann figurine: Galumpagump, Pokëmann figurine: Hoboking, Pokëmann figurine: Kagosan, Pokëmann figurine: Magikrap, Pokëmann figurine: Moog, Pokëmann figurine: Nothing, Pokëmann figurine: Porkachu, Pokëmann figurine: Shoggoth, Pokëmann figurine: Smugleaf, Pokëmann figurine: Twitter, Pokëmann figurine: Vegemite, Pokëmann figurine: Vermouth, Polka Pop, polyalloy shield, polymorphic fastening apparatus, pool of liquid metal, popcorn, portable corkscrew, portable motorcycle, portable photocopier, possessed top, potion of animal rage, potion of punctual companionship, potion of the captain's hammer, potion of the field gar, potion of the litterbox, potion of X-ray vision, pottery barn owl figurine, pottery club, pottery hat, pottery shield, pottery training pants, pottery yo-yo, powdered donut, powdered toad horn, powdered wig, prehistoric spear, present, press-on ribs, Pretty Predator Clawicure Kit, prismatic wad, protein paste, psycho sweater, puff of smoke, pulsing flesh, pumpkin, pumpkin beer, pumpkin bomb, pumpkin carriage, pumpkinhead mask, pumpkin juice, pumpkin pie, purple-frosted astral cupcake, purple glowstick, purple snowcone, pygmy bugbear shaman, quadroculars, quake of arrows, quantum polarity inducer, quantum taco, queen cookie, radioactive chew toy, Radio Free Baseball Cap, Radio Free Foil, Radio Free Pants, rag doll, Rainbow's Gravity, rainbow crossbow, rainbow tie, raisin, Rattlin' Chains, razor-tipped yo-yo, reconstituted crow, recording of Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration, recursive spline reticulator, red-and-green sweater, red-hot medallion, red drunki-bear, red gummi ingot, Red Pill, red plastic baby, Red Rover BB gun, red snowcone, red traffic cone, reflection of a map, respected companion biscuit, reverse-oscillating klystron, ribbon candy, ridiculous belt, ridiculous cocktail, ridiculous earring, ridiculous sandwich, ridiculous sunglasses, rigid carapace, roboduck-on-a-string, robot reindeer protocol B.L.I.T.Z.E.N., robot reindeer protocol C.O.M.E.T., robot reindeer protocol C.U.P.I.D., robot reindeer protocol D.A.N.C.E.R., robot reindeer protocol D.A.S.H.E.R., robot reindeer protocol D.O.N.N.E.R., robot reindeer protocol O.L.I.V.E., robot reindeer protocol P.R.A.N.C.E.R., robot reindeer protocol R.U.D.O.L.P.H., robot reindeer protocol V.I.X.E.N., robotronic egg, rockfish stomach, rockin' wagon with a fly in it, rock lobster, rocky road ice cream, rogue swarmer, rook cookie, rubber band gun, rubber emo roe, Ruby Rod, Russian Ice, rxr shield, s'more, s'more gun, S.L.E.I.G.H.B.E.L.L.S., S.T.L.T., sack lunch, Saison du Lune, Salsa de las Epocas, sane hatrack, sangria del diablo, sawblade fragment, Sceptre of the Torremolinos Prince, Schmalz's First Prize Beer, Schrödinger's thermos, scissor duck, scratch 'n' sniff apple sticker, scratch 'n' sniff crossbow, scratch 'n' sniff dragon sticker, scratch 'n' sniff rock band sticker, Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome, scratch 'n' sniff sword, scratch 'n' sniff unicorn sticker, scratch 'n' sniff UPC sticker, scratch 'n' sniff wrestler sticker, scrumptious ice ant, secret from the future, Senior LAAAAME merit badge, sensitive poetry journal, servomechanical torsion facilitator, set of jacks, set of Unobtainium straps, Seven Loco, shadowy cat claw, sham champagne, shard of double-ice, shining halo, shiny tribal beads, shock belt, shoo-fish pie, shot of nepenthe schnapps, shrapnel jelly donut, siesta-ing Casagnova gnome, silicon-infused gluteal shield, silk garter snake, Silver Bullet beer, silver keg, silver shotgun shell, Single Alice's Army Foil, single of Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration, sinister demon mask, skewered cherry, skewered jumbo olive, skewered lime, skull-shaped Crimboween cookie, Skullhead's Screw, skull with a fuse in it, slap and tickle with a fly in it, sleeping snowy owl, sleeping stocking, slightly thicker filthy rags, slimy paste, slippery when wet shield, slow jam collection, small Crimbo Pressie, smashed danish, snapdragon pistil, snow belly, snow halo, snow hat, snow pants, sock monkey, sorority brain, sorority girl's box, soyburger juice, soy cordial, Sp'n-Zor's Grimoire of "Tasteful" Gifts, Spacefleet Communicator Badge, space jam, space jam toast, Space Trip safety headphones, spaghetti con calaveras, Spaghetti with Moonballs, Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne, speed limit shield, spiraling shape, spooky bark, spooky eggnog, spooky felt, spooky frank, spooky length of string, spooky little girl, Spooky Putty ball, Spooky Putty leotard, Spooky Putty mitre, Spooky Putty monster, Spooky Putty sheet, Spooky Putty snake, spooky rattling cigar box, spooky sap, spooky stuffing, spooky toy wheel, spooky wooden block, squamous polyp, square CRIMBCOOKIE, squirming egg sac, squirmy violent party snack, St. Sneaky Pete's Day goodies basket, Staff of Queso Escusado, Staff of the Woodfire, stapler bear, stick, stick-on-a-string, stick-on eyebrow piercing, sticky gloves, stinky cheese ball, stinky cheese diaper, stinky cheese eye, stinky cheese sword, stinky cheese wheel, stomach turnover, stomp box, stop shield, strange cube, strange paste, strange shiny disc, strawberry supersucker, strawberyl, strawberyl necklace, streetfighting champion's belt, stress ball, string of Crimbo lights, string of dingle balls, stringy sinew, stuffed-shirt scarecrow, stuffed alien blob, stuffed bandersnatch, stuffed carpenter, stuffed caterpillar, stuffed dodo, stuffed doppelshifter, stuffed gray blob, stuffed pocketwatch, stuffed porpoise, stuffed walrus, sturdy Crimbo crate, sub-molecular interocitor, sucker bucket, sucker hakama, sucker kabuto, sucker scaffold, sucker tachi, sugar-coated pine cone, sugar banana, sugar chapeau, sugar cherry, sugar lime, sugar plum, sugar shank, sugar shard, sugar sheet, sugar shield, sugar shillelagh, sugar shirt, sugar shorts, sugar shotgun, sun-dried tofu, super-sweet boom box, superduperball, superheated fudge, Supreme Being Glossary, suspicious stocking, sweet nutcracker, Sweet Sword, Sword of the Brouhaha Prince, synthetic dog hair pill, synthetic stuffing, TΤ◊lisman of Baiø‡, Tales of a Kansas Toymaker, Tales of a Kansas Toymaker (used), tasty louse, teddy bear, teddy bear sewing kit, teddy borg, teddy borg sewing kit, Temps Tempranillo, The Art of Slapfighting, The Art of Slapfighting (used), The Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones, The Bomb, The Cooler Out of Space, the finger, The Joy of Wassailing, The Joy of Wassailing (used), The Landscaper's leafblower, The Legendary Beat, The Necbromancer's Hat, The Necbromancer's Shorts, The Necbromancer's Stein, The Necbromancer's Wizard Staff, The Necbronomicon, The Necbronomicon (used), theoretical string, thermos of brew, The Spirit of Crimbo, throbbing organ pie, throwing bone, throwing wrench, thyme jelly donut, Tickle-Me Emilio, Tiger-lily's milk, Tiki lighter, time's arrow, time halo, time helmet, Time Juice, time sleigh, time sword, time trousers, tin magnolia, tin star, tiny ballet slippers, tiny black hole, tiny bottle of absinthe, tiny do-rag, tiny fly glasses, tiny frozen prehistoric meteorite jawbreaker, tiny nose-bone fetish, tiny plastic 11 Dealer, tiny plastic ancient yuletide troll, tiny plastic Best Game Ever, tiny plastic chunk of depleted Grimacite, tiny plastic CRIMBCO HQ, tiny plastic Crimbo Casino, tiny plastic Crimbo elf, tiny plastic Crimbomination, tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer, tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram, tiny plastic Crimbo wreath, tiny plastic Don Crimbo, tiny plastic fat stack of cash, tiny plastic fax machine, tiny plastic gift-wrapping vampire, tiny plastic hobo elf, tiny plastic Mob Penguin, tiny plastic Mr. Mination, tiny plastic mutant elf, tiny plastic Scream Queen, tiny plastic skeletal reindeer, tiny plastic stocking mimic, tiny plastic strand of DNA, tiny plastic sweet nutcracker, tiny plastic sword, tiny plastic Uncle Crimbo, tiny top hat and cane, toasted brie, toast with jam, tobiko-infused sake, tobiko marble soda, tobiko pocky, toe jam, toe jam toast, tombstone-shaped Crimboween cookie, Tome of Clip Art, Tome of Snowcone Summoning, too legit potion, top, tourmalime, tourmalime tourniquet, toy crazy train, toy deathbot, toy hoverpad, toy jet pack, toy maglev monorail, toy mercenary, toy ray gun, toy six-seater hovercraft, toy soldier, toy space helmet, toy train, traffic jam, traffic jam toast, transporter transponder, Travoltan trousers, tree-eating kite, tree-shaped Crimbo cookie, tree skirt, triangular CRIMBCOOKIE, trilobite candy mold, trilobite fossil, Trivial Avocations board game, Trivial Avocations Card: What?, Trivial Avocations Card: When?, Trivial Avocations Card: Where?, Trivial Avocations Card: Who?, Tropical Crimbo Hat, tropical Crimbo pressie, Tropical Crimbo Shorts, Tropical Crimbo Sword, tropical paperweight, tropical wrapping paper, trousers of the white knight, trout fang, trusty torch, twitching claw, Ultracolor™ shirt, ultrafondue, Ultrasoldier Serum, unbearable light, Uncle Crimbo's Rations, Uncle Crimbo's Sack, Uncle Greenspan's Bathroom Finance Guide, Uncle Hobo's belt, Uncle Hobo's epic beard, Uncle Hobo's fingerless tinsel gloves, Uncle Hobo's gift baggy pants, Uncle Hobo's highest bough, Uncle Hobo's stocking cap, Uncle Romulus, Uncle Romulus (used), Underworld acorn, Underworld flail, Underworld sapling, Underworld truncheon, Underworld trunk, unearthed volcanic meteoroid, unemployed hunchbacked minion, uniclops egg, Unionize The Elves sign, unspeakable lozenges, unstable DNA, unstable laser battery, unwound cymbal-playing monkey, Uovo Marcio Shiraz, upsy daisy, Ur-Donut, vampire duck-on-a-string, Van der Graaf helmet, vanilla-frosted king cake, velvet choker, vesper, V for Vivala mask, Vial of jus de larmes, vibrating cyborg knife, Violet Hunt Invitation, vitachoconutriment capsule, walrus ice cream, wand of fudge control, wasabi-infused sake, wasabi marble soda, wasabi pocky, waterlogged crate, wax lips, wedge of gray cheese, weegee sqouija, wet venom duct, wheel, whisker pencil, white candygram, white candy heart, White Hyborian, white Xanadian, whoopie cushion, willyweed, wind-up chattering teeth, wind-up meatcar, witch hat, wizard action figure, wok lobster, wolfman mask, Wolfman Nardz, woolen cravat, Workytime Tea, world's most unappetizing beverage, wrapping paper, wreath-shaped Crimbo cookie, Wrecked Generator, wrench handle, wriggling tentacle, wristwatch of the white knight, wumpus-hair bolo, wumpus-hair loincloth, wumpus-hair net, wumpus-hair sweater, wumpus-hair whip, wumpus-hair wig, wumpus hair, X-37 gun, x-ray specs, yellow candygram, yellow candy heart, yellow drunki-bear, yellow glowstick, yellow gummi ingot, yellow matter custard, yellow snowcone, yellow traffic cone, Ye Wizard's Shack snack voucher, yield shield, yo, yo-yo, your own black heart, yuletide troll chrysalis, yummy death watch beetle, zen motorcycle, zombie pineal gland, Zu Mannkäse Dienen, Zu Mannkäse Dienen (used)

Skills

Candyblast, Cringle's Curative Carol, Curiosity of Br'er Tarrypin, Executive Narcolepsy, Fashionably Late, Holiday Weight Gain, Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration, Iron Palm Technique, Jingle Bells, Käsesoßesturm, Kung Fu Hustler, Lunch Break, Managerial Manipulation, Natural Born Skeleton Killer, Offensive Joke, Rainbow Gravitation, Stealth Mistletoe, Stringozzi Serpent, Summon Crimbo Candy, Surge of Icing, Toynado, Unaccompanied Miner, Vent Rage Gland, Volcanometeor Showeruption, Wassail

Familiars

Ancient Yuletide Troll, Astral Badger, Attention-Deficit Demon, Baby Bugged Bugbear, Baby Sandworm, Baby Yeti, BRICKO chick, Bulky Buddy Box, Casagnova Gnome, Chauvinist Pig, Cheshire Bat, Coffee Pixie, Comma Chameleon, Cotton Candy Carnie, Crimbo Elf, Crimbo P. R. E. S. S. I. E., Cymbal-Playing Monkey, Dancing Frog, Dandy Lion, Dataspider, Disembodied Hand, Doppelshifter, Emo Squid, Evil Teddy Bear, Fancypants Scarecrow, Feather Boa Constrictor, Feral Kobold, Frumious Bandersnatch, Gluttonous Green Ghost, Green Pixie, Hand Turkey, Hanukkimbo Dreidl, He-Boulder, Hippo Ballerina, Holiday Log, Hunchbacked Minion, Inflatable Dodecapede, Jack-in-the-Box, Jill-O-Lantern, Jitterbug, Knob Goblin Organ Grinder, Li'l Xenomorph, Llama Lama, Mad Hatrack, Mini-Hipster, Nervous Tick, Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot, O.A.F., Obtuse Angel, Pair of Ragged Claws, Pair of Stomping Boots, Penguin Goodfella, Personal Raincloud, Pet Rock, Pottery Barn Owl, Psychedelic Bear, Pygmy Bugbear Shaman, RoboGoose, Robot Reindeer, Rock Lobster, Rogue Program, Snow Angel, Snowy Owl, Spirit Hobo, Squamous Gibberer, Stocking Mimic, Sugar Fruit Fairy, Sweet Nutcracker, Teddy Bear, Teddy Borg, Temporal Riftlet, Toothsome Rock, Underworld Bonsai, Uniclops, Wild Hare, Wind-up Chattering Teeth, Wizard Action Figure