Destrie - Today at 4:31 AM
it had to anyways its steven universe
our hearts get played with too much because of this show
..i was wondering about something, and i wasn't thinking about bringing it up until Sunday maybe whenever i got home, but.
do you have any plans as to what'll happen when you go on vacation?
i'm just wondering because you and otaku won't be as active, which is understandable and expected cuz yall want time together, but spike's not that active either in terms of school life and such.

k0ntra - Today at 4:37 AM
well, so far the people we had been considering firing have stepped back up to the plate for the most part, which is good, but I don't really know what's next
i'm not sure what else spike wants to accomplish before he departs again...
ultimately though its time now more than ever that moderators go with their gut for most actions. if there's something really serious going on i can take it on mobile but otherwise, i'm going to leave yall with an event schedule, and i'm going to be checked out except for maybe when we're at home

Destrie - Today at 4:40 AM
i just wonder. like, where does that leave me? and i was gonna type out this whole paragraph listing reasons as to why i'm curious and have 'good arguments' or whatever but we're friends and i don't really wanna talk to you as a staff member, i'd rather just talk to you as a friend with a conversation about this.
i actually doubt myself quite a bit sometimes because i see how well written and how clear people type things out or are able to.. y'know, communicate better than i can sometimes. even though i was told to not really worry about it and that my passion alone for this type of stuff is fine on its own, i just can't help but.. doubt.
i never really moderated anything before up until this, never clearly thought out much of anything until i landed a spot in this for volunteering.
it's like i'm able to chime in sometimes or even have a full on conversation with opinions or advice and point people in the right direction if needed or to see what it is i'm trying to get across
other than that its just weird to me i guess. i've actually had thoughts about resigning before because i felt like i wasn't up to the task, but i know i am. it's just my self doubt nagging at me.
admittedly enough i still feel a tad bitter over what's happened, while i'm mostly over it i just find it unjustified.
even with a whole event schedule planned out and everything i just worry for when situations like the one with Nightly happened and none of the mods had access to the mee6 panel, i just sat here thinking "i could've totally helped them out at that very moment" because you and otaku were afk and spike wasn't there to assist
lowkey i just find myself really doubting what's going on, but that's personally how i feel and i don't want like a negative impact on it. i don't want to come off as someone who's always been known as like the "Yesman" or anything like that (pardon the cog pun, it's really not) but it's because most of the situations talked about, the plans that have been talked about, i genuinely felt like they were good ideas on whatever it is we've ever talked about in admin lounge or even staff lounge. i think its just because my thinking process is different..
sorry i must look like im rambling, i dont mean to, its just 2:45am and i feel very real at this moment

k0ntra - Today at 4:51 AM
it's okay destrie, i just, i dont really have answers for you right now
we arent trying to leave you in the dark, we just honestly have not talked about it and we dont know what we're going to do with head mod right now, right now we're just stressed out and trying to improve things for all of us, and head mod was just... useless. not to say that you were useless, but the role wasnt really accomplishing what we wanted it to, it was just admin jr. and our moderators were all way out of line and we needed you to sit out so we can think wtf we're going to do about that
but so far spike's return has just been him being an admin again and nothing really changing, he's been back for like a week already and we still arent really changing things, i feel bad

Destrie - Today at 4:52 AM
see that's exactly the issue right there.
even for being back temporarily it's as if almost nothing is getting done. that's really what i'm worried about.
i know you want to see Spike's view on all of this and you want to be on board with everything it is that he does (if not everything then almost everything) but something really needs to be done. and it can't be by what it is he says, even if he is an admin and part of the team, sometimes what he says isn't always the best unless it's really executed. and by executed, i mean actually taking the time to sit down and talk about it.
i like Spike, i do, i like everyone i work with. but unless we really push to get something like this done instead of slacking off, it'll only grow worse.
you're an admin also, Mal.
even if he helps in running the whole thing, you also help in keeping it organized and planning things out and just.. everything. kind of more than he does almost since he's busy.
i just feel like it really needs to be talked about.
i know you're not trying to leave me in the dark also, i already said i trust you on that.
i honestly just have mixed feelings on all of this the way it's going right now though. and it isn't even for my sake, it's for like, the sake of everybody on the team.

k0ntra - Today at 4:59 AM
i wouldnt call it slacking off though. we are working on decisions, but they are hard decisions. we arent going to execute actions that we arent 100% confident in. that's how you make a mess. i dont think you understand that.
i couldnt do this on my own, either. spike was supposed to be off enjoying his life, he's not happy here, but he came back to help me so that I can be happier also and have a better life. i dont agree with every single word that comes out of his mouth. we are working on this together so that we can both move on in our individual ways; him altogether and me being able to put the discord 2nd some times and put myself 1st.

Destrie - Today at 5:02 AM
i actually do understand it, while it can take some time to figure out, there's still ways for it to be dealt with. i wouldn't want to execute actions i wasn't 100% confident in either, i just.. find it kind of ridiculous though. like i understand the stress and everything, i just wish it wasn't so difficult.
also wish i was just able to help somehow.
was actually gonna say something else and i fucking forgot damnit

k0ntra - Today at 5:03 AM
its pretty difficult to find a solution when you arent 100% certain of what the problem is
i can handle myself in a lot of things but when it comes to my time dedicated to this discord i could let it walk all over me for the rest of my life and never move forward. that is why spike is here.

Destrie - Today at 5:04 AM
there was a conversation i had with wright where maybe, if the people who weren't doing their jobs were fired, then the moderators who actually do do their jobs could be better equipped in dealing with situations.

k0ntra - Today at 5:05 AM
thats the thing though. all of the mods that were at risk for firing all stepped up to the plate again.

Destrie - Today at 5:05 AM
yeah

k0ntra - Today at 5:05 AM
so that plan is thrown out the window

Destrie - Today at 5:05 AM
that was before you mentioned it
so now im just trying to think of other ways..

k0ntra - Today at 5:06 AM
if you have ideas i'll listen to them, but we just really need to look hard at a lot of things as an admin team together and find balance, because even the admins are pretty disheveled now what with spike wanting to leave, me being stressed, and otaku being out

Destrie - Today at 5:07 AM
i can't really think much on what other issues there could be tbh except for the fact some people just aren't really invested in the discord as much and chime in when they want to. there's also the issue where some moderators don't rely on their gut instincts and that's something that can help stress anyone out if they're busy doing other stuff, not just you.
maybe we should hold a staff meeting? i was thinking about that the other day.
and actually just.. go over everything thats been happening.
think of a plan in order to move past it.
it just bothers me how the responsibilities lie on you since otaku's busy and spike is sometimes also. :/

k0ntra - Today at 5:12 AM
i dont mind that though, especially since i am the prospective server owner now. otaku holds the title, I hold the weight. the thing we are trying to work on now is just lifting some of the weight of that off of me and more on the moderators; not to put more stress on them, but they are a massive team. it'd be better to split it among many than for it to be resting on me.... there's a problem, because, some dont act on intuition, and the others that do act on intuition are doing it wrong, it's just messy and we need to find a way to streamline that... in the past 6 months or so, though, this is not something we have ever had consistent. this isnt a problem that has ever been solved. it is perpetual.

Destrie - Today at 5:15 AM
which could result in a possible staff meeting though? maybe?
the reason i say this is, we haven't held one in awhile. i don't know about setting dates or anything like that since that's something Spike was against, but if we ever find all the moderators online maybe, we could just hold one and be like "look we've had this issue going on for the past 6 months or so, and we need to figure out ways to fix it" and just go into about how we're a large team, maybe some training could be done again like how we did before when we used moderation actions on the bot.

k0ntra - Today at 5:16 AM
it sounds like a good idea
ill tell them about it today at some point

Destrie - Today at 5:17 AM
it could definitely be useful especially since this has been going on for so long, i really just want things to be okay within the team. and if there's anymore ideas to obviously add onto it, i'm just recalling what i remember when i first joined the team.
cant tell if im tired rn or if my vocab's just rly fucking bad at the moment

k0ntra - Today at 5:18 AM
rip

Destrie - Today at 5:18 AM
but aside from that
like you get what i'm saying, so that's good
that's all that matters
when it comes to me and intuition, i know to do what's best and if i have any questions then i ask for second opinions within staff lounge. its just something i've always done.
if i think of anything else over the course of the next few days ill let you know tho

k0ntra - Today at 5:20 AM
okay

Destrie - Today at 5:21 AM
i know it isn't possible also but.. try to not stress so much. you can talk to me, i'm here to listen, and i'm, of course, willing to help when possible.

k0ntra - Today at 5:21 AM
i know destrie
thank you